It's interesting, I've never seen ESTJs as emotionless. They CAN be or come across as mean or harsh sometimes if they're not careful (as can other types, of course), and tend to be extremely practical and goal-oriented, but I definitely wouldn't say robotic or emotionless at all. When I saw the question in this video's title the answer I thought almost immediately was "explosively!" XD
Emotional or emotionless depends on which type is observing. Tes do see emotions of other Tes. Which Fes are blind to it. Ses see emotions of other Ses, etc..
I have an ESTJ brother and many ESTJ coworkers in the schoolboard as teachers. It's so true that they have a natural gift of putting their emotions on low-gear, and prioritizing what needs to be done or fixed. Whenever they are silent, I can tell something is wrong because they are usually vocal at what they are observing. My ESTJ brother has a hard time expressing emotions, unless he's angry or frustrated. When he's sad or dissapointed, he keeps a distance and processes emotions on his own. As he got older, he's starting to become more expressive and more aware of his emotions. It's kind of weird for me, but I'm glad I can notice the changes. Thanks ESTJ peeps and Joyce for another informative panel 👏👏👏
@P O W E R - R E D - B U L L With my ESTJ counterparts, the only differences I notice is that I'm always aware of other people's emotions than my own. An ESTJ will express anger and frustration quicker than I (an ESFJ) would, which I need to process with my Ti first
Aw thanks so much for seeing the good in us and lifting that up... You sound exactly like my ESFJ brother in law who makes me feel better, and better about myself 99% of the time I feel down or upset. You guys are super amazeballs! I wouldn't mind being ESFJ and I'm trying to learn more Fe!
Very relatable. Switching emotions off/on may be an xxTJ thing. But I think as an INTJ, having Fi in the tertiary position makes that harder to do. I no longer see crying as a weakness the way I did I my 20s. But I can relate to the idea that "emotions get in the way." Another thing that caught my attention was the attraction to F types. INFPs were mentioned a few times, and I get why. However, living in a household of F types has felt detrimental as the only T type. Being around other T types is SO REFRESHING.
Although this is about ESTJs, I just had a horrible argument (via text) with an ENTJ, and the statement made from the ESTJs about not being able to get a job done while dealing with emotions, made me understand (a teeny bit lol) his "don't text me" (as in stop texting me) response when I was expressing my emotions to him. Although I still think he should've chosen better words, I am now thinking perhaps he was in the middle of something (logic) and texting my emotions really threw him off (it ruined my entire workday -- couldn't stop thinking about it -- and I definitely only got a small amount of work done, due to this argument, so kudos to you ESTJs who can just turn that off).
Wendy is definitely the most different among them (but even she didn't sound that different; that's not the point though). Her experience as a life coach helped her open up to emotional well-being, I guess.
@@micku2216 Some (perhaps unhealthy) ESTJs think they're always right, personally I'm very aware that I could be wrong because I have been in the past, and I say as much.
I'd say we're more realists than optimists. We try not to worry too much because it doesn't accomplish anything, I still worry though as I don't have great control over my emotions.
I was thinking the same but at the same time, I'm an ESTJ male and I really don't like talking about my emotions, because that would require me to think about them, which sometimes I'll have this little voice in me saying that maybe I should be feeling x emotion about x event, but I just rationalize it out, or ignore it if I can't, and focus on the things that are more important. Maybe other ESTJ males are the same, where they're just don't want to talk about it, but there's also the fact that I'm 18 so my Fi wouldn't be as developed as someone in their 30s, so there could be older ESTJ males who are more willing to discuss this. I think you're right though, that seeing both perspectives would be best since males and females tend to be socialized differently, for example, being aware of the emotional impact: To me, people's feelings are their own business, I shouldn't have to be their babysitter, walking over eggshells trying to not set them off when my intention isn't even to hurt their feelings. I don't understand why I have to take the extra steps to make sure their feelings are considered. My aim is to get the information out in order to wrap the task up in the most efficient way, but people act like I have some personal vendetta against them. I know how to organize my time in a way that gives me a lot of free time, and I still don't have time for that. That's why Fe users exist, everyone has their role to fill and considering the emotional atmosphere isn't mine. I'm going to clarify a few things: - I do feel emotions, it's not as often as other people around me, except for certain emotions like annoyance, but there has to be something that happens to make me feel that way, I don't just feel that way for no reason. - It often takes me a long time to realize my feelings because I don't focus on them at all, but there will be times when I start feeling stuff from stuff that happened months ago, for example: I was best friends with this ESTP guy but then we stopped being friends because we're both self centered and don't like admitting when we're wrong, and he's better at making friends and I'm better at making rational choices, and he fell into a stupid friend group who makes bad choices so we kinda drifted apart. At first, I didn't care because I was mad at my ex-friend for being stupid, and then I kinda stopped thinking about him altogether for several months, then I started thinking about how cool our friendship dynamic used to be, and I started to feel some sadness and regret, but rather than dwelling on it, I decided to join some typology servers to find a new ESTP friend, I figured they'd have to have a similar personality to my ex-friend's. I actually did end up finding one who had an extremely similar personality to his, an ENTP, but he was a flake so it didn't work out. That's no longer my purpose for being in the community, now that I know my type, I can answer questions that other people might have from that type's perspective in order to help clarify things for them. There's more I could say on this topic, but my emotional core isn't strong enough to dwell on it yet. There is one thing I'll say that's hard but I think it's important for people too know: Not showing/feeling emotions isn't a sign of strength, in my case it's actually a sign of weakness, because I know that if I allow myself to feel too much, I won't be able to handle that, so I try to prevent that from happening. What I'm trying to say is that feeling/expressing emotions isn't a weakness, it just doesn't come naturally to me, I don't understand people who do this much, we often clash a lot, but I admire them for having the strength to do what I can't. There's my perspective as an ESTJ male in regards to my feelings and how I deal with them, if others want to share their thoughts as well, that'd be great.
As the child to an ESTJ dad I learned how to deal to them! Hahaha! He has a spresdsheet mind...and Te in his hands feels like handling a stone to David against Goliath. He knows how to and where to hit...My Ti 3rd position makes me need time to Ni Fe first before thinking and telling...(I am INFJ) And he is accepting no stutter or mumbling! Directly to the good stuff! A higher Ti like yours may be easier for them to accept...I guess.
Too funny. However, for me, I am certainly not a "Karen". I don't even think I have ever even approached anyone to tell them what to do. My ISFP father taught me, "the world doesn't like a rat". It has stuck with me for decades.
When I think of Karen’s I think of unhappy Esfj. Something about demon Ti really likes to wack people for sometimes seemingly stupid reasons. Parent Te is more movable, just direct.
![Lil Uzi Vert - We Good [Official Audio]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/DrSfBULAsek/mqdefault.jpg)
It's interesting, I've never seen ESTJs as emotionless. They CAN be or come across as mean or harsh sometimes if they're not careful (as can other types, of course), and tend to be extremely practical and goal-oriented, but I definitely wouldn't say robotic or emotionless at all. When I saw the question in this video's title the answer I thought almost immediately was "explosively!" XD
I agree completely.
Emotional or emotionless depends on which type is observing. Tes do see emotions of other Tes. Which Fes are blind to it. Ses see emotions of other Ses, etc..
I have an ESTJ brother and many ESTJ coworkers in the schoolboard as teachers. It's so true that they have a natural gift of putting their emotions on low-gear, and prioritizing what needs to be done or fixed. Whenever they are silent, I can tell something is wrong because they are usually vocal at what they are observing.
My ESTJ brother has a hard time expressing emotions, unless he's angry or frustrated. When he's sad or dissapointed, he keeps a distance and processes emotions on his own. As he got older, he's starting to become more expressive and more aware of his emotions. It's kind of weird for me, but I'm glad I can notice the changes.
Thanks ESTJ peeps and Joyce for another informative panel 👏👏👏
Do you notice a lot of similarities, considering both of you are ESJ types?
@P O W E R - R E D - B U L L With my ESTJ counterparts, the only differences I notice is that I'm always aware of other people's emotions than my own. An ESTJ will express anger and frustration quicker than I (an ESFJ) would, which I need to process with my Ti first
Aw thanks so much for seeing the good in us and lifting that up... You sound exactly like my ESFJ brother in law who makes me feel better, and better about myself 99% of the time I feel down or upset. You guys are super amazeballs! I wouldn't mind being ESFJ and I'm trying to learn more Fe!
Very relatable. Switching emotions off/on may be an xxTJ thing. But I think as an INTJ, having Fi in the tertiary position makes that harder to do. I no longer see crying as a weakness the way I did I my 20s. But I can relate to the idea that "emotions get in the way."
Another thing that caught my attention was the attraction to F types. INFPs were mentioned a few times, and I get why. However, living in a household of F types has felt detrimental as the only T type. Being around other T types is SO REFRESHING.
Plot twist we have emotions lol. As if they don't want to admit we are human.
Although this is about ESTJs, I just had a horrible argument (via text) with an ENTJ, and the statement made from the ESTJs about not being able to get a job done while dealing with emotions, made me understand (a teeny bit lol) his "don't text me" (as in stop texting me) response when I was expressing my emotions to him. Although I still think he should've chosen better words, I am now thinking perhaps he was in the middle of something (logic) and texting my emotions really threw him off (it ruined my entire workday -- couldn't stop thinking about it -- and I definitely only got a small amount of work done, due to this argument, so kudos to you ESTJs who can just turn that off).
Wendy is definitely the most different among them (but even she didn't sound that different; that's not the point though). Her experience as a life coach helped her open up to emotional well-being, I guess.
Please do one with STPs
Joyce mentioned the optimism in extroverts. In the ESTJ though does their optimism come from their Ne or their Te?
They always assume they're right. That's the source of their optimism 🙃
@@micku2216 Some (perhaps unhealthy) ESTJs think they're always right, personally I'm very aware that I could be wrong because I have been in the past, and I say as much.
I'd say we're more realists than optimists. We try not to worry too much because it doesn't accomplish anything, I still worry though as I don't have great control over my emotions.
I think their New makes it so they know they are not always right. It's just they don't want you to be lazy
Wendy!!!!!
Notice it is all ESTJ women. How about mixing this up with women AND men??? hmm?? ESTJ female here
I was thinking the same but at the same time, I'm an ESTJ male and I really don't like talking about my emotions, because that would require me to think about them, which sometimes I'll have this little voice in me saying that maybe I should be feeling x emotion about x event, but I just rationalize it out, or ignore it if I can't, and focus on the things that are more important.
Maybe other ESTJ males are the same, where they're just don't want to talk about it, but there's also the fact that I'm 18 so my Fi wouldn't be as developed as someone in their 30s, so there could be older ESTJ males who are more willing to discuss this.
I think you're right though, that seeing both perspectives would be best since males and females tend to be socialized differently, for example, being aware of the emotional impact:
To me, people's feelings are their own business, I shouldn't have to be their babysitter, walking over eggshells trying to not set them off when my intention isn't even to hurt their feelings.
I don't understand why I have to take the extra steps to make sure their feelings are considered.
My aim is to get the information out in order to wrap the task up in the most efficient way, but people act like I have some personal vendetta against them.
I know how to organize my time in a way that gives me a lot of free time, and I still don't have time for that.
That's why Fe users exist, everyone has their role to fill and considering the emotional atmosphere isn't mine.
I'm going to clarify a few things:
- I do feel emotions, it's not as often as other people around me, except for certain emotions like annoyance, but there has to be something that happens to make me feel that way, I don't just feel that way for no reason.
- It often takes me a long time to realize my feelings because I don't focus on them at all, but there will be times when I start feeling stuff from stuff that happened months ago, for example:
I was best friends with this ESTP guy but then we stopped being friends because we're both self centered and don't like admitting when we're wrong, and he's better at making friends and I'm better at making rational choices, and he fell into a stupid friend group who makes bad choices so we kinda drifted apart.
At first, I didn't care because I was mad at my ex-friend for being stupid, and then I kinda stopped thinking about him altogether for several months, then I started thinking about how cool our friendship dynamic used to be, and I started to feel some sadness and regret, but rather than dwelling on it, I decided to join some typology servers to find a new ESTP friend, I figured they'd have to have a similar personality to my ex-friend's.
I actually did end up finding one who had an extremely similar personality to his, an ENTP, but he was a flake so it didn't work out.
That's no longer my purpose for being in the community, now that I know my type, I can answer questions that other people might have from that type's perspective in order to help clarify things for them.
There's more I could say on this topic, but my emotional core isn't strong enough to dwell on it yet.
There is one thing I'll say that's hard but I think it's important for people too know:
Not showing/feeling emotions isn't a sign of strength, in my case it's actually a sign of weakness, because I know that if I allow myself to feel too much, I won't be able to handle that, so I try to prevent that from happening.
What I'm trying to say is that feeling/expressing emotions isn't a weakness, it just doesn't come naturally to me, I don't understand people who do this much, we often clash a lot, but I admire them for having the strength to do what I can't.
There's my perspective as an ESTJ male in regards to my feelings and how I deal with them, if others want to share their thoughts as well, that'd be great.
My guy emotions are quite rational, in both feeling and results. But there can be quite a delay in the emotions surfacing.
Hehe are ESTJ women drawn to INFP men? 🤔
Yup... one is the marshmallow and the other is the extra-long roasting skewer. 🤣
Their shadow opposites, or the, "Ride or Die' relationship.
@@m2pozadI don't see INFP as ride or die....
I don't understand ESTJs I don't get them ?
- INTP
As the child to an ESTJ dad I learned how to deal to them! Hahaha!
He has a spresdsheet mind...and Te in his hands feels like handling a stone to David against Goliath. He knows how to and where to hit...My Ti 3rd position makes me need time to Ni Fe first before thinking and telling...(I am INFJ) And he is accepting no stutter or mumbling!
Directly to the good stuff!
A higher Ti like yours may be easier for them to accept...I guess.
Karen panel
Too funny. However, for me, I am certainly not a "Karen". I don't even think I have ever even approached anyone to tell them what to do. My ISFP father taught me, "the world doesn't like a rat". It has stuck with me for decades.
🤣🤣🤣😂
That’s a weak thing to say. Estj’s take a lot punches before going there vs taking lil to go there…….
When I think of Karen’s I think of unhappy Esfj. Something about demon Ti really likes to wack people for sometimes seemingly stupid reasons. Parent Te is more movable, just direct.