What works for me is first say hello.If they give eye contact and verbally return the greeting,start talking about a common theme:the weather.Then,compliment how they look,afterwards,talk about what you're doing.Then,introduce yourself.Remember,if that person doesn't give an immediate eye contact,they're most likely not interested.Fear of rejection is why most people are reluctant to meet and greet.
Aziz you're a such a genuine and beautiful man. Even your face and hair line creates a heart shaped. Happy to see and hear how much you've transformed and I feel like I've come along way but I can still feel my old stories play in the back of my mind. I have to constantly remind myself that these stories or moments in time don't define me. Anyways thank you for sharing your videos and making the world a better and more authentic place. P.S. you're wife is lucky 😉
Thank you so much! If you keep working on things like you have so far those old stories will get weaker and weaker. They'll still pop up from time to time but you'll be strong enough to see them and ignore them.
The bridge! Such an obvious yet bewilderingly difficult idea to summon to your head during that moment before you desire a comfortable interaction. Thank you so much man!
This was so helpful in many ways. I enjoyed how relaxed you were and your facial expressions. I have learned what my major problem was. My tone. THANK YOU SO MUCH ❤❤❤
The awesome thing about this video is realizing I’ve already been doing everything he suggested to do in this video! Ever since I read his social anxiety book. The practice really does make you feel more comfortable in social environments, with yourself, and especially around attractive women. The key is to take is slow. Be patient with yourself as you practice. And above all: don’t be hard on yourself. Practice self-compassion where you’re praising yourself for your progress every day instead of beating yourself up for not being as bold as you want to be. It doesn’t matter how you reacted or felt. What matters is what you did. Did you take action? Any sort of action at all? Any action no matter how small should be seen as progress and should be praised for it. Give yourself credit for taking steps and praise yourself as often as you use to criticize yourself. I’ve been doing this all lately and I’ve already been seeing tremendously positive results. It really does work and makes life more fun and exciting.
Thanks for comment bro , that assures me that I'm doing things right , I'm just starting to talk to women at public places and when things go wrong , I just tell my self "Hey I accomplished my mission just for the fact that I made contact with a total stranger and I opened my mouth!
Alex Ortega That’s the key man! Focusing on what you’re doing right and rewarding yourself instead of beating yourself down. Pretend you’re talking to your best friend. Would you uplift every attempt your best friend made or would you tear him down? After tearing him down, did he feel better about himself and what to do it again? Probably not. YOU are your own best friend. Read Aziz’s new book by the way, called “On My Own Side”. It’s phenomenal. But yeah, become your greatest cheerleader man. It may feel cheesy. It may feel arrogant. ignore that. Do it anyway. Talk to yourself out loud all the time. I promise you will see everything completely differently and people won’t recognize you. I can personally testify that therapy like this has completely shifted my entire world. I went from barely able to talk to women to talking to strangers (good-looking women), dating, and no longer afraid of intimacy (but get excited instead). Even today, I’m getting better by the day! I can’t wait to see how bold and confident I’ll be next year! Have this kind of attitude man and I promise you’ll change too! ❤️🤟🏽
(Im a girl. What if I don't want to talk to, or flirt with, a beautiful woman?) I assume this is directed at women too. Your advice is very good and useful. Although I would NOT know how to talk to a good looking guy. I make myself look like an idiot like tripping over or walking into things and therein the scene is set. I think I may be a hopeless case!
Ha, hey there Amelia. I've haven't met a hopeless case yet. Just people who are discouraged and THINK they can't change. It sounds like you are pretty hard on yourself and you anticipate you'll mess it up with a good looking guy. I encourage you to challenge these stories, really test them out - several times a week if you can. Every time you see an attractive guy, smile at him, as see what happens : )
Great video I like all your stuff you are a great communicator , I am going to study all your material and will purchase stuff as well because you deserve to be rewarded for your material , brilliant stuff.
This video is great, the best advice I got from this is that I need to be more engaged in my environment. The more I'm engaged the more I can talk about. I'm definitely going to subscribe and check out more of your videos.
Great video doc I don't know if you made a video about it or not, but I have a question,: how can I talk with people in my circle of friends, I am always the ''quite one'' in the group...I'm watching my 3 friends having fun together and there is me ... sitting here and laugh but having NOTHING TO SAY... I want to change that but I dont know from where I should start... I have also Asperger syndrome so ... I don't know .... its really difficult...:/
this describes me perfectly. I'm a freaking helicopter pilot, and I still find myself clamming up when in a group, of friends or not. Asperger as well though I like to think I'm functional :p
Okay so I have been deligently watching your videos and know that they are Gems. Recently when I started been more vocal and share my thoughts at work - my two colleagues started to talk me out and say that it was not necessary to share that stuff etc ... although it was nothing wrong!!! But I humbly accepted instead of presenting my view point. How to respond here when ppl see Ur growing and try to talk you out later?
Don't accept that premise. If you have something valuable to contribute, it may not be "necessary" in someone else's opinion, and that's all it is...an opinion, or potentially even jealousy. Keep forging ahead my friend!
You know where to find me! If you live in the Portland, Oregon area you can often see me on local television here. You can see clips on my main website.
What if it's someone you used to talk to in middle school but you haven't over the past 3 years because of high school and she is in your lunch period only?
Hi. This video was really helpful. One issue which I couldn't get any help from anyone is having panic in between a conversation. Sometimes I start to panic while am talking to someone (sometimes someone who is really close to me like a friend or a family member). I cannot maintain eye contact, my cheek muscles start to tighten, in short I feel like I am about to cry. Is there anyone out there who are facing this issue or who can help. Please
you're awesome! I like your approach explanation You are amazing! I like your explanation approach Examples of irrational behavior of the subconscious \ reactive mind Thank you for your contribution!
Another very important skill to learn. You might want to check out my program - The Confidence Code - it has an entire section focused on how to create and sustain engaging conversations. Check it out here: YourConfidenceCode.com
After the bridge, you need to ask a few closed ended questions. Pay close attention to when the other person opens his eyes a little bit extra or shows a little energy when answering. That clues you into that he wants you to open up the topic.
Get More Confidence have you scammed me? its really weird i bought you confidence code and it worked. i did all the exercises and it worked also. but why cant i play your unleashed confidence video?? plz tell me that you arent a hustling me plz man i really need this
What about approaching a women to a country that not really open to talk strangers, I'm living in the Philippines and I'm a Pilipino, my problem is I can't approach a women in here cuz they are not open to strangers, I had only one successful approached with women who is very flirty, and she is the last girl that i had approached successfully i thought it will continue but its not , Its already 2 months since the last approached and it's very frustrating, any solution?
+jesson pulutan Hi Jesson, I was born in the Philippines too and much much older than you =) What I've found out in these many many years of experience, is that if you show too much interest in another person, that person won't even pay any attention to you much less have a relationship with you. Playing hard-to-get is a time tested tactic (for both men and women) for attracting the opposite sex, and that you should try. Just have fun with your friends, indulge in your favorite hobby (who knows, a girl might share the same interest as you) and help your mom with house chores (sorry, I'm a Mom). Don't worry too much, the right person will come along in no time =) Read some more about this in this link: www.quora.com/Why-do-guys-suddenly-want-a-girl-after-she-loses-interest
The Astonisher What? I don't hate men. I get along with them quit well and have few of them as friends. I just happen to fall in love with women not men. And way to stereotype me. *clap* And common sense lol. Please focus on your issues instead son.
The Astonisher Also, why do you care? Is finding a girl who actually likes you that hard for you that you have to stick your nose in other people's lives? Because it's not helping you dear sir
The Astonisher Don't you have anything better to do Astonisher? And why bother wasting your time with me? I'm not going to change and force myself to try and be "straight" (already got myself sick trying that). How about instead you do something useful like volunteer, which could help this world you say is so horrible.
The Astonisher I get enough bs as it is. Because yes choice the harder way of life. That's the stupidest logic ever. If it's really a choice, why would anyone want to be gay and live a life where you are at a higher risk for assault, isolation from your peer, and down right having little to no right? Seriously does that make sense?
Mike G I think, that you think, that I took this way more seriously then I actually did. I'm literally not even worked up. It's just a simple request, not to be taken with an offensive connotation. And I'm a guy. I just happen to respect women, and am able to recognize that they have the same issues we have, and it's just a small thing to say him/her when talking about things that have the potential to exclude one or another gender. Like I said, it's not THAT big of a deal, but it couldn't hurt to just throw it in.
SemperAugustusBubble Okay one, not all women are 'hot', and even if they do measure up to idealistic beauty standards, they still may not have amazing confidence, because people are more than what you can look at with your eyes and see. It's totally ridiculous to say that because a person is attractive that they don't have personal issues that could cause them to not have confidence in themselves.
What works for me is first say hello.If they give eye contact and verbally return the greeting,start talking about a common theme:the weather.Then,compliment how they look,afterwards,talk about what you're doing.Then,introduce yourself.Remember,if that person doesn't give an immediate eye contact,they're most likely not interested.Fear of rejection is why most people are reluctant to meet and greet.
F. Powell Great tips!
Trial and error.
Aziz you're a such a genuine and beautiful man. Even your face and hair line creates a heart shaped. Happy to see and hear how much you've transformed and I feel like I've come along way but I can still feel my old stories play in the back of my mind. I have to constantly remind myself that these stories or moments in time don't define me. Anyways thank you for sharing your videos and making the world a better and more authentic place. P.S. you're wife is lucky 😉
Thank you so much! If you keep working on things like you have so far those old stories will get weaker and weaker. They'll still pop up from time to time but you'll be strong enough to see them and ignore them.
The bridge! Such an obvious yet bewilderingly difficult idea to summon to your head during that moment before you desire a comfortable interaction. Thank you so much man!
This was so helpful in many ways. I enjoyed how relaxed you were and your facial expressions.
I have learned what my major problem was. My tone. THANK YOU SO MUCH ❤❤❤
The awesome thing about this video is realizing I’ve already been doing everything he suggested to do in this video! Ever since I read his social anxiety book. The practice really does make you feel more comfortable in social environments, with yourself, and especially around attractive women.
The key is to take is slow. Be patient with yourself as you practice. And above all: don’t be hard on yourself. Practice self-compassion where you’re praising yourself for your progress every day instead of beating yourself up for not being as bold as you want to be. It doesn’t matter how you reacted or felt. What matters is what you did. Did you take action? Any sort of action at all? Any action no matter how small should be seen as progress and should be praised for it. Give yourself credit for taking steps and praise yourself as often as you use to criticize yourself.
I’ve been doing this all lately and I’ve already been seeing tremendously positive results. It really does work and makes life more fun and exciting.
PREACH! :)
Thanks for comment bro , that assures me that I'm doing things right , I'm just starting to talk to women at public places and when things go wrong , I just tell my self "Hey I accomplished my mission just for the fact that I made contact with a total stranger and I opened my mouth!
Alex Ortega That’s the key man! Focusing on what you’re doing right and rewarding yourself instead of beating yourself down. Pretend you’re talking to your best friend. Would you uplift every attempt your best friend made or would you tear him down? After tearing him down, did he feel better about himself and what to do it again? Probably not. YOU are your own best friend. Read Aziz’s new book by the way, called “On My Own Side”. It’s phenomenal. But yeah, become your greatest cheerleader man. It may feel cheesy. It may feel arrogant. ignore that. Do it anyway. Talk to yourself out loud all the time. I promise you will see everything completely differently and people won’t recognize you. I can personally testify that therapy like this has completely shifted my entire world. I went from barely able to talk to women to talking to strangers (good-looking women), dating, and no longer afraid of intimacy (but get excited instead). Even today, I’m getting better by the day! I can’t wait to see how bold and confident I’ll be next year! Have this kind of attitude man and I promise you’ll change too! ❤️🤟🏽
"Communicate with friends" presupposes that I have friends.
You may first need to start with some foundational work and get to the full and rich life you deserve my friend!
(Im a girl. What if I don't want to talk to, or flirt with, a beautiful woman?) I assume this is directed at women too. Your advice is very good and useful. Although I would NOT know how to talk to a good looking guy. I make myself look like an idiot like tripping over or walking into things and therein the scene is set. I think I may be a hopeless case!
Ha, hey there Amelia. I've haven't met a hopeless case yet. Just people who are discouraged and THINK they can't change. It sounds like you are pretty hard on yourself and you anticipate you'll mess it up with a good looking guy. I encourage you to challenge these stories, really test them out - several times a week if you can. Every time you see an attractive guy, smile at him, as see what happens : )
For women there's much less pressure in social interactions. Watch his "Stop being so nice" video if you haven't already.
His book changed my life! I feel incredible! And grateful
Great video I like all your stuff you are a great communicator , I am going to study all your material and will purchase stuff as well because you deserve to be rewarded for your material , brilliant stuff.
NOt everything was helpful to my situation, but there was a good amount in here that was really beneficial to me. Thanks for the Upload
Really useful please keep it up!
This video is great, the best advice I got from this is that I need to be more engaged in my environment. The more I'm engaged the more I can talk about. I'm definitely going to subscribe and check out more of your videos.
Thanks! Yes, the more you pay attention to what is happening outside of you, the more present you are and the more conversation material you have.
I'm so happy I found you !
At least he is trying to Help, Dr Aziz is likeable Character and Gd luck to him.
Thank you man! very useful!
Great video doc
I don't know if you made a video about it or not, but I have a question,: how can I talk with people in my circle of friends, I am always the ''quite one'' in the group...I'm watching my 3 friends having fun together and there is me ... sitting here and laugh but having NOTHING TO SAY... I want to change that but I dont know from where I should start... I have also Asperger syndrome so ... I don't know .... its really difficult...:/
this describes me perfectly. I'm a freaking helicopter pilot, and I still find myself clamming up when in a group, of friends or not. Asperger as well though I like to think I'm functional :p
It feels we have same problem..you in whatsapp?
Sweet...
I share your video to my friends who working in Singapore. Its helpful to them. For me, I love to talk anyone.
I dont know why but i smiled at "the bridge"
Okay so I have been deligently watching your videos and know that they are Gems. Recently when I started been more vocal and share my thoughts at work - my two colleagues started to talk me out and say that it was not necessary to share that stuff etc ... although it was nothing wrong!!! But I humbly accepted instead of presenting my view point.
How to respond here when ppl see Ur growing and try to talk you out later?
Don't accept that premise. If you have something valuable to contribute, it may not be "necessary" in someone else's opinion, and that's all it is...an opinion, or potentially even jealousy. Keep forging ahead my friend!
@@GetMoreConfidence Thank you for these supportive words! I feel sometimes i get affected cos I myself do not fully believe in myself.
Thank you Dr Aziz.Stay blessed
nice info.. thanks
Thanks for sharing this great video. I always felt that I was the only person who feels awkward among social gathering. Hv a great day.
It's so useful for me.Thank you for this video!!!! :D
I love the video. Go with the moment. Be Natural.
all this is so true!
thanks man x) it was a big help
Great advice thank you.
BTW you kind of look like Ray William Johnson.
I shake every time I talk to anyone my hands are uncontrollable I feel weak and some times fall on my knees
Lol watching a video on how to talk XD
same....
Are you in whatsapp?
Thank You Dr. Aziz!
man you are brilliant ......all Iranians are brilliant.....was it a good bridge ????? lol
+ampiciline Haha, I suppose. Except I'm not Iranian ; )
+Get More Confidence Looks Italian~ haha
+ampiciline it's a pretty ubiquitous semitic name
+Get More Confidence that
man misunderstood you he
didn,t know that you are afghani .
it doesn't matter where he's from. Stop labelling, fam.
Plz make more videos on this topic...i have problem to be over greeting ppl and when leaving room over saying bye ...plz helo i want to be more firm
I certainly will!
You should have a show on TLC, Dr Aziz (just saying) Love the content
I agree! Do you know somebody? :)
Get More Confidence Sadly I do not have that just yet Dr. Aziz but when I attain that position in television...You're my first call.
You know where to find me! If you live in the Portland, Oregon area you can often see me on local television here. You can see clips on my main website.
Do you take appointments?
What if it's someone you used to talk to in middle school but you haven't over the past 3 years because of high school and she is in your lunch period only?
excellent advice
definitely great advise, but other than focusing on dating would you consider make some videos about interviews/career instead thanks
Hi. This video was really helpful. One issue which I couldn't get any help from anyone is having panic in between a conversation. Sometimes I start to panic while am talking to someone (sometimes someone who is really close to me like a friend or a family member). I cannot maintain eye contact, my cheek muscles start to tighten, in short I feel like I am about to cry. Is there anyone out there who are facing this issue or who can help. Please
What are friends?
Imaginary or Virtual or Real?
Lalxiam Khuptong Don't know the word...
F-r-end?
Thanks
You're welcome!
This was actually good !
Haha, you sound surprised : )
Glad it was helpful.
4:43 LoL killer question
you're awesome! I like your approach explanation
You are amazing! I like your explanation approach
Examples of irrational behavior of the subconscious \ reactive mind
Thank you for your contribution!
Aziz means saint. * flies away
Good vid.
Well I always try saying "hie" but no one ever seems to respond. What could I be doing wrong?
You may need to say more than that. A question can be helpful to start a conversation.
We need the goodbye video!
I'm not sure what you mean?
@@GetMoreConfidence You had mentioned something about ending conversations. Sorry for the late reply I only see the notification on my laptop
Awesome
It's not the bridge that's the problem for me...It's what to say afterward lol
Another very important skill to learn. You might want to check out my program - The Confidence Code - it has an entire section focused on how to create and sustain engaging conversations. Check it out here:
YourConfidenceCode.com
After the bridge, you need to ask a few closed ended questions. Pay close attention to when the other person opens his eyes a little bit extra or shows a little energy when answering. That clues you into that he wants you to open up the topic.
Get More Confidence have you scammed me? its really weird i bought you confidence code and it worked. i did all the exercises and it worked also. but why cant i play your unleashed confidence video?? plz tell me that you arent a hustling me plz man i really need this
I take my time when I talk to people but when someone automatically cuts me off in every sentence, I tap out cuz that's very disrespectful....
Good for you!
Please make a video for smiles
Not sure what you mean?
Many people who don't know how to smile during the conversation even me too
What about approaching a women to a country that not really open to talk strangers, I'm living in the Philippines and I'm a Pilipino, my problem is I can't approach a women in here cuz they are not open to strangers, I had only one successful approached with women who is very flirty, and she is the last girl that i had approached successfully i thought it will continue but its not , Its already 2 months since the last approached and it's very frustrating, any solution?
+jesson pulutan Hi Jesson, I was born in the Philippines too and much much older than you =) What I've found out in these many many years of experience, is that if you show too much interest in another person, that person won't even pay any attention to you much less have a relationship with you. Playing hard-to-get is a time tested tactic (for both men and women) for attracting the opposite sex, and that you should try. Just have fun with your friends, indulge in your favorite hobby (who knows, a girl might share the same interest as you) and help your mom with house chores (sorry, I'm a Mom). Don't worry too much, the right person will come along in no time =)
Read some more about this in this link:
www.quora.com/Why-do-guys-suddenly-want-a-girl-after-she-loses-interest
I am not good at come backs and as a male this leaves me open to ridicule. How can I deal with this?
lol you look like your ready for jihad dude.
I think the best thing is to just laugh it off and dont do a come back just say good one ..
next video: how to breathe air hahahahaha ppl nowadays make me laugh so hard .. but this is good vid
1:50 lmao :)
Does it work for lesbians?
The Astonisher
What? I don't hate men. I get along with them quit well and have few of them as friends.
I just happen to fall in love with women not men.
And way to stereotype me. *clap* And common sense lol. Please focus on your issues instead son.
The Astonisher
In that logic when did you choose to be straight?
The Astonisher
Also, why do you care? Is finding a girl who actually likes you that hard for you that you have to stick your nose in other people's lives? Because it's not helping you dear sir
The Astonisher Don't you have anything better to do Astonisher?
And why bother wasting your time with me? I'm not going to change and force myself to try and be "straight" (already got myself sick trying that). How about instead you do something useful like volunteer, which could help this world you say is so horrible.
The Astonisher
I get enough bs as it is.
Because yes choice the harder way of life. That's the stupidest logic ever. If it's really a choice, why would anyone want to be gay and live a life where you are at a higher risk for assault, isolation from your peer, and down right having little to no right? Seriously does that make sense?
now I can talk to other people
why u remind me of that guy from impractical jokers.... ( Its a TV show for people not knowing what that is )
SilverWolf 2000
I thought I was the only one who thought that before I saw your comment! "Joe!" 😂
😂 Genius right?
IT'S ZYZZ!!!
are you really a doctor
woow his rteally Good
I'd love a man to come up to me in a Starbucks...
Where you at rn
Let me ask you. How do you feel when you talking to someone who barely speak English and who have different looks.
Thought Ray William Johnson retired
The problem is women nowadays only want certain guys to talk to them most likely men their own race
This is very much a story you're telling yourself, and one not all that accurate.
Women watch your videos too. It would be appreciated if you could say him or her when you're talking about dating.
Oh no PC police. Relax CHICK
Mike G
I think, that you think, that I took this way more seriously then I actually did. I'm literally not even worked up. It's just a simple request, not to be taken with an offensive connotation. And I'm a guy. I just happen to respect women, and am able to recognize that they have the same issues we have, and it's just a small thing to say him/her when talking about things that have the potential to exclude one or another gender. Like I said, it's not THAT big of a deal, but it couldn't hurt to just throw it in.
+Dear Sega Hot women don't need tips on self-confidence. They are already the definition of it.
SemperAugustusBubble
Okay one, not all women are 'hot', and even if they do measure up to idealistic beauty standards, they still may not have amazing confidence, because people are more than what you can look at with your eyes and see. It's totally ridiculous to say that because a person is attractive that they don't have personal issues that could cause them to not have confidence in themselves.
I want to know how very conservative American or English guy feel when they talking to barely English-speaking Asian guy.
captain obvious
Haha, I suppose so! Perhaps you need some more advanced material : )
You need to lean how to speak on camera. You repeat yourself way to much. Very awkward
+Mike G Haha, smackdown!
Why do you think everyone else uses jump cuts 😂 it’s natural
Thank you this was very helpful!