Do you have anyone who can support or help you guys in times of needs? Good friends/relatives? Sometimes, a good social support system can go along way.
Psych2Go my mom was a drug addiction but she is now a great person. I am raised by my overly strict and some times agressive grandmother. My best friend has a alcoholic mother and her dad walked out on her.
i'd like to add that often you feel responsible to look after them/one of them in a way or another, as if the roles of a parent and a child were reversed. also you can be extremely anxious, because they/one of them change completely with drinking.
With your complete family being alcoholics and many dying because of that, I started looking after my father who is the person near to me. I started going to sleep at sometimes 1am in a school week, simply because I was waiting for him coming home safely. I still feel sad whenever he is sitting downstairs with me, looking bad because of that hangover. I still cry whenever I hear him run to the toilet. I still want to shout at him , whenever I look into his eyes who took one a hello colour because of his liver slowly getting sick.
I remember being 10, my friends were shopping for clothes and having sleep overs whilst I was cooking and basically taking care of my alcoholic mother, I was forced to grow up way too fast and missed out on so many things because of that.
theghostofyou since age 5 & am now in my mid 30s... I know this 2well. I'm ending this lifestyle once & 4all & am going 2have pets. Therefore, I'd have lil2 no time 4the 1s w alcoholism 2affect me as much or at all.
Luna Schulz I did the same, staying up late, by any window, even if not in my BR, wondering if my parent w alcoholism would return. I'd also only sleep 3-4 hrs on some nights due2 anxiety of possibly waking up2 the parent already begun early drinking, even though not always. I was 9 & 10.
Especially while they're drunk. When I was a teen, I found my mom sitting sideways in a chair, however, she had fallen backward, unable to right herself and bracing her palms against the floor. Her face was a deep red and she was totally wasted. Before she noticed me, I stood a good minute in the kitchen entrance weighing the consequences of either helping her or going upstairs and pretending I didn't see her. Come what may. Maybe she dies. Maybe we live with our grandparents and the abuse is over. Inside the space of a minute, I settled on helping her. We continued to suffer her abuses until we moved out.
As a mother, seeing children on here commenting about their own awful circumstance, it breaks my heart. YOU deserve better. YOU deserve to be LOVED. You deserve to be treated with love and respect. YOU MATTER. You CAN get through this. You WILL. And you will be better for it.
Bethany Francia cry as much as you need to. Let that stuff out. Scream if you need to scream. Run if you need to run. When we fall apart, we have the opportunity to build ourselves back up stronger than we ever were. ♥️
It sucks because today is Christmas and my dad is drunk... it hurts to see him like that. But whenever I bring it up to someone they say “it’s not your issue, it’s your dad’s issue” they don’t understand
i 100% understand you. my dad has beeem drunk basically every day of his life since i was born. wouldn’t be surprised if he was drunk in the hospital when my mom was giving birth. i dont think i’ve ever seen a christmas without my dad being drunk. hell, last christmas my dad didn’t even come upstairs from his hideout in the garage because he was so drunk. you aren’t alone
I know this is a really old comment, but my mom relapsed on Christmas a couple years ago, I was really worried about how she wasn’t texting me and I was 12 btw. That same Christmas my grandma was badmouthing my mom while I was playing the guitar. It kinda ruined the guitar for me
alcoholic parents can have a really profound impact on children. As a therapist, when I work with clients who have had parents who had alcohol problems, their later lives can be severely impacted. Thanks for a great video on this.
Its really based on subjectivity, but alcoholism in parents can mean poor standards in parenting. potenitally leading to neglect and mistreatment. It really depends on the individual, but it can have really powerfuls impacts.
My Dad's an alcoholic, it ruined my pre-teen/teen life and now I'm 100% sure I'm high functioning depressed. I think things are getting better it's just a long process as I became the mediator in my family and a therapist to my parents. I'm glad he's lowered drinking a lot now but I defintely feel like I lost a lot of my life and its like my memories have filtered so i can only look back on the bad.
GetPsyched When I was young one of my parents had a drinking problem. I witnessed physical abuse on others and was screamed at, but I never went to a therapist. So I've never been sure if I was actually abused or what kind of effect it had on me.
In my case, it's my dad. And it's absolutely terrifying having to listen to him drunkenly cursing and yelling at my mum and grandmum and throwing things around.
The fear of when the parent gets home, and the anxiety of hearing them walk toward the direction of your room. My heart still races when I hear footsteps on hollow floors (like in trailer houses) and I just kinda expect myself to get yelled at
Yep, I can relate so much. In this case it is my mom. I always ask her please if you drink today don't get drunk and she promises. Few hours later she is drunk. I get yelled at beaten up. Then she kicks me up to my room she slaps me I go on tik tok and chill and feel better. Then she is coming upstairs and I get afraid. Then now she is in my room yelling at me for no reason moving closer to me like she is gonna beat me up. I'm currently crying I feel worthless I feel like I shouldn't be on this world. Don't get me wrong she isn't drunk every day but the days she goes out to by drinks she gets drunk and those are the worst times ever. I just want to run away. :(
I am so sorry you have to deal with that😓. I know how sucky is it to have to deal with parents like that all the time. The only thin that gets me through it is remembering that God is my strength and he will get me through anything. I will be praying for you!
I realised how toxic and horrible my father was because of his alcoholism so I cut him out and haven't taked to him in 3 years. This upset my whole family badly and I was told I had no right to do so because he was my father and I should accpt him the way he is. I stood my ground and accepted that my family is poorly educated about mental health. The first year was hard and the result of his alcoholism is becoming more aparent but I didn't regret it once. Never accept anyone with such horrible affects to your life and just because they are family doesn't justify it. If anything it makes matters worse.
When it comes to parents like these you can't(even if you still want to) let them back in. They need to(figuratively) fall on their ass and pick themselves up to even start being a decent person. And even then it will never be a normal relationship, and still have watch for signs of relapse. Talking from far too much experience with this.
ViktuuriTrash And stay confident. I had that too where my family told me he "changed" and he himself tried to talk and say he is sorry. But knowing him, he will act like he changed for maybe a week and go back to his old behavior. He still drinks btw, he is too high on his horse to understand. Such parents are manipulative so don't be tempted to fall for it. I'm proud of you for taking such a huge step, it's not easy but it in the end it will do only good. Stay strong💕
Chey P. Absolutely agree with you. He is really manipulative and I have previously told him he drinks too much or does sth else that bothers me and he should stop but what am I? What adult will take a child seriously? He just laughed and brushed it off as nothing and I strongly belive he would do the exact same if I forgave him. Even now he still drinks and hasn't learnt a damn thing in these past 3 years while I feel like I went through a whole lifetime twice.
My name is chair I have the same problem, sometimes It feels like I've thrown my dad under the bus by abandoning him. I believe though that there where reasons, I've tried to tell him about why his behaviour is detrimental to mine and my brother's relationship to him, yet he's always overly defensive about his intentions. I hope one day I get to meet him and tell him why I did what I did, and the wish is for him to understand himself and why things are as they are. And I hope that you too will get along with your dad too, my friend.
SniffHD I hope you get to have that in the future. Knowing my father, he will never change so it's better for me to move on but I tottaly get what you mean by wanting him to understand. I want the same but I just know it will never happen. Don't feel bad for doing so because you are doing what's best for you. I wish you luck in making things better between you two💕
Okay, here goes my story. So I'm 15 years old and my mum has far too much alcohol. I'm not sure if I class her as an alcaholic though. Through the day she is fine but later on at about 7 o'clock she turns to alcohol. She has 3 bottles of wine every night. This is when I know to stay out of her way because she shouts at everyone for no reason and tries to cause unnecessary arguments. She has went to hit me a few times but I got out her way in time. This has been goinf on for a long time now, probably about 4 or 5 years. But it's only recently I've discovered what is actually wrong with her. I have a 9 year old brother who isn't fully aware why she's like this. But we are not close at all, if I had a problem I could never ever talk to her about it. I once was having panick attacks and feeling down all the time and I finally told her, she just said "its just a phase, you'll get over it" it became so bad that my nana took me to the doctors and I had anxiety. I was close to depression but I got out of it in time. I'm scared to talk to any of my friends about it imcase they judge me. I relate to all these in one way or another. Thank you for taking time out of your day to read this💖💖
My dad caused me those exact reactions, just that I received help much later and it's been more difficult to deal with. If you have someone that can "rescue you", say, a social worker, best friend or even another adult that takes care of you, shout for help. Don't fight it like you're alone, because you are not.
krazylia thank you! I do feel alone at times, but I have my nana. The one who took me to the doctors, she knows everything about me and I can talk to her about anything xx
I relate to this.I see my dad almost drunk everyday it hurts me.When I grow up I'm not gonna be like him.I dont want my kids to suffer what I am suffering right now with my mom:(
the level i relate to this on is so high. my dad drinks like 30-40 beers A DAY and is drunk EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. im so worried that when i have kids they’ll have to suffer through this because of my fathers problems and my corrupted definition of a normal family
I think it relieves stress temporarily too but you don't do anything to improve yourself and waste a lot of time and mess up your families life. It's selfish and I think only people who think it's a legitamit reason to blame others for their behavior will even do that to their family. They think I'm sitting pretty and you can't blame me while their shirking responsibility left and right.
My mom says something similar, except not about being the parent, she just says "you're being so nosy and controlling mind your own business". Uh, you're my mom, I think it's my business with my life being affected by your drinking :/
Omg!!! This is true! My mom acted that way but like someone had to take over and be the adult. People wonder why I’m serious….because I always had to be a grown up.
I live with severe chronic pain, my body is like a minefield and everything hurts. I’m so scared to become like my dad and grandparents that I’ve NEVER taken any strong painkiller or had even a drop of alcohol. I’m terrified to death of becoming him. I’ve got severe ptsd because of my dad. When I was a young teen me and my younger sister went on a trip abroad with him, he drank and drank until he could barely stand. My grandparents always drank box wine daily, like 2l each a day.
me too. my father and my brother have severe drinking problems (my brother literally only being 19) and last week on christmas eve my brother threw up on me because he got so drunk. it stems from my grandfather who ended up killing himself on my birthday due to alcoholism. after growing up with my father and recently now my brother constantly drunk around me ive promised myself to never even try alcohol
My mom was an alcoholic all through my middle and high school years. Before that, she was married to my dad and they were overly religious. I say this video is pretty spot on.
My dad got arrested for drunk driving and I struggle with severe depression, trust issues, self-hatred, and a fear of being abandoned. Thank you for this.
doggy121466 I never knew that I bet that what you been through was horrible and sometimes you hate your self and feel uncomfortable and I hope you feel better from what happened in your past
Thanks to my father I developed a strong dislike of alcohol. I have this deep psichological thing that makes me unable to enjoy it even when I know a little does no harm so I'm unable to consume alcholic beverages. I can force myself to drink a very small amount for certain special occasions but that is my limit and even then I feel disgust.
I grew up with an alcoholic father who really hurt me emotionally throughout all my childhood and encouraged his children to learn how to drink.... I haven’t been able to recover from all of this but I am proud to say that I don’t drink nowadays and I never will.
I’m 14. I have an alcoholic father who also smokes. He just yelled at me for getting ready in the bathroom for 10 minutes when he needed to use it. He couldn’t even wait 10 minutes. I also have AuDHD so I get ready for the day quite slowly. He also yells at my mother a lot. He has been like this since I can remember.
Yea... that rage and impatient attitude, it is unbearable. It never goes away even after the drugs or drink goes away. They got so man excuses for why in classes, but never address the real issue. The person...
@wildfoxn95 If I was your friend I'd hug you and tell you that you are important in life and god also is proud of having a person like you here too since you actually are letting nothing cross your way in life.
This is oddly relevant not to me but someone I know. In my class there's a boy whose dad is an alcoholic and parents are abusive. The thing I've most recognized is his social behaviors. His parents keep him in the house as they are very controlling. He'll be going on a trip to Washington D.C and his dad ripped off the info to the kids schedule in order to know where he is going to be at. He asked our teacher if she's could make an excuse so he didn't have to call them. He's constantly saying things to our teacher like "your better than my Mom" and while he doesn't say it as much he used to say things like "I'll see you tomorrow as long as I'm not dead" and " it was nice knowing you all" it may seem a little dramatic but then you have to remember the situation he's in. His father when picking him up looks at him with disgust, he's run away twice and had to refuse foster care so he could protect his little brother. Back to social behaviors he's almost always jumpy more so than most. If you get to close he flinches and he'll jump if you touch him. He also has problems relating to people when we're taking about things that happened when we were younger and just the nonsense of life. To completely normal things he'll be confused and he genuinely doesn't understand some of the simplest phrases. I'm just glad he finds joy in his poetry even if it's rarely happy and that he found a girl he likes. I just wish I could do more.
Maya Hamilton sounds like a textbook case of PTSD. I wonder; is he with the girl he likes? If not maybe you can try to hook them up? Having normal relationships helped me out a lot. Other than that, just be there for him. Talk with him if he needs it. You don't have to outright say it but as long as he thinks someone cares it makes life much more bearable. Eventually he might get to the point where he can live a stable life. Hope it helps.
Get him in contact of social workers or child protection agencies.. maybe teach him ways to deal with anxiety, and persuade him to not think suicidal thoughts or see the good things in life.. idk uh I guess you can also listen to him and his poetry! Hope things get better
Maya Hamilton just keep being a good friend,stay calm around him and be happy for and with him during his good days and good times.it will help him pull away from the negativity and reach onto the positives...this is coming from someone who has been through alot of trauma and a lot of abuses...
@@mckenna_carlin9559 I'm not exactly sure how to answer that. My father and step mother passed, my fience's alcoholic mother is still alive, still allowed to infect our lives with her toxicity because she refuses address and stand up to her. Our lives have moved forward, in the most beautiful way possible, with the nearing birth of our next daughter. Our children are happy, healthy and loved in ways we were not. I like to think I'm two years older, stronger, wiser and more grounded now than ever random RUclips stranger. I gave up drinking the year my daughter was born, I've been sober for more than a decade so the comment I made two years ago was about how my alcoholic father and her mother's parenting affected us, and how we as parents didn't repeat the mistakes our parents made. A lot of my wounds healed when my father passed, because he couldn't hurt anyone else and his hurting ended.
I am so lucky to have my mother....she literally has been so strong for us and it's only because of her that me and my brother know what healthy relationships look like.....i adore her so much
My mom is an alcoholic, and I don’t want to go far into details, but Christ this hurts so much. I related to this video so precisely. I’m 15, and have been going through this (since I can remember) since I was 7. I wish everyone the best who is going through this. You’re not alone 💛
I know this is an old comment, but you’re definitely not alone. I’m 23 and have a strained relationship with my dad because of this. It hurts to think this was normal and then one day I woke up and realized it wasn’t normal. I hope you’re in a better place now
yup related to all of them. my dad is not the greatest role model but he's doing his best trying to provide us all we need. it's hard for him and he destresses by drinking. i get scared whenever he's near but I still love him.
Recovering Soul believe me, I've tried to give him alternatives but he doesn't stick through with something. My 15 yr old brother already started drugs and drinking and he still doesn't think he influenced something.
I am growing up with alcoholic parents and I'm 14, I have been yelled at for my mother has yelled at me my whole life but my dad doesn't get angry because he takes drugs but the drugs can only do so much, my parents are divorced so that has also affected me and the way I think, I now suffer from depression, anxiety and other stress related problems, and I was also born with a heart mermer which is when my heart can skip a beat almost every minute or less, and it has slowly gotten worse up to the point where I can't full sprent for 20 seconds without almost having a heart attack. I have noticed that I am slowly becoming a father figure to my youngest sister and my cousin that is a year older then me looks up too me aswell, everything is going out of control and I don't know what to do so I started to stay home from school and I haven't been there in five months now, and if I don't go I will be taken away and forced to put on a smile and act like everything is alright. Going back to the topic of the video, my father has came put to my house when I was feeling depressed to take me to school but I wouldn't go or even answer because I didn't have enough strength to try, but when I didn't say anything my father lashed out and said I'm worthless and pathetic along with no one loves me and no one ever will. I stand my ground and let no one in because I don't think I can take anymore punches because I have had two mental breakdowns. One was when I was alone, and one was when rage took over and I screamed at my mother for an hour about how I cut myself and how everyone puts me down and how horrible she makes me feel. I have only been on this planet for 14 years and I feel that I have been through more then most people go through in there whole lives. Because of my anxiety and depression I have left my home for countless time in any kind of weather, I have been freezing in a blizzard in the middle of a field and I have been almost having a heat stroke from the sun baking my skin, I no matter what wouldn't go back til I could finally feel some what happy again. I have stood up to a group of kids for bullying one of my old friends and I knocked a few of them on there asses before walking away from them so I didn't kill one of them, I helped my friend not because he was close to me, But because I know how it feels to be put down and beaten. If I can help anyone from feeling and going through pain you can bet your ass I'm gonna try with all I got because I got nothing to live for. I have grown up poor for my whole life, at the age two my father left for a bit and by age 3 my family had to move in with my grandmother and grandfather because people kicked us out of are home. My grandfather was the best man I knew, and the only father I knew til cancer took him away from my family when I was 4. I looked up too him because he was the only one who took every wrong situation and made me feel happy when I felt weak. I remember his face and how he used to push me on my swing and id tell him to push me higher every single time. That is what keeps me on this world, the time when I was happy and I didn't have a care in the world, a time when people I loved picked me up and show me that I could be strong, that I could make every wrong into a right. I guess I forgot how to along the way. I'm crying writing this and I hope you can't understand my pain, because no one should have to feel this. I just wanted everyone in my family to be happy. Now my older sister moved in with my dad. She always knew how to cheer me up when I was sad. In the past year I have had to comfort her and make her feel wanted because she was on the verge of suicide. I helped her feel wanted again and now she fell in love with one of my friends. I have only tried to help but I don't have enough strength to help myself, "I can hold the whole worlds problems, but I can't hold my own." Have a good day.
I am so sorry for what you lived but then i'd like to tell you that you've become a wonderful and strong person, all the things you have been throught, all the people you helped, I hope you'll never forget what you did for these persons. I totally feel you on the last sentence, you might help people a lot, but don't forget that before anyone you need to help yourself and love yourself, it can be anything buying yourself some snacks, ice cream, a drink, doing shopping or buying a game that you really wanted ! I don't know anything about having a normal life but I guess that's what people do ? I don't have anything to hold on to so I'm holding on supercial things that makes me happy because you know that the world needs more helpful people like you that still feel sympathy over others. Treating yourself might being seen as useless and you might feel like you don't deserve it but you do, everyone does, it's essential to learn how to love yourself when nobody does or when you feel so lonely, it might look like a stupid thing but it's not ! I have low key abusive parents too, and since i'm asian and raised with the asian mentality it doesn't help at all, I really feel worthless and unable to do anything because i'm being compared to anyone who is better than me (plus, I'm heading to art class so I guess it's even worse haha) but we have friends right ? I'm so lucky to have wonderful friends to keep me happy and I hope it's the same for you too. Don't feel lonely and if you feel bad then call a friend to talk with I don't know much about you, we're strangers and i'll never be able to feel you as much as you do, but i really hope the best for you because from what i red you really are a brave person and i'm thanking you for not giving up and supporting others, also thank you for sharing your story ! Please create a lot of memories with your friends and live your life fully because we only live once and even if life is really difficult and it will be even more difficult in the future, let's do our best and have the best time we can spend until it's the end ! Wishing all the love for you and all the people here having a hard time, from France ! ♥
Please know that you have so much to live for and things will get better (I know that is SO cliche but it is a cliche because it is true). You have so much life ahead of you and so many more experiences to be had, such as becoming an adult and being able to create your own life. This is such a short period of your life, which I never understood when I was struggling around your age but now that I am coming to the end of my teenage years I am astonished at how quickly they really went by, even if at the time it felt like forever. You have SO MANY life milestones yet to reach. Your situation is really difficult but I can tell just by reading your story that you are a truly good person. What your dad was saying about no one loving you is SO so far from the truth (and I am sure he did not mean it) - you are loved whether or not you can see it. Everything your parents say and do reflect themselves and their own issues - not you. You are not the first to go through this by any means, and that may be comforting for you to know that so many other people have struggled (myself included) but come out the other side stronger and able to bring happiness back into the picture. Remember you have so much more to live for and although it seems like this phase will go on forever at the moment, believe me when I say it won't. I'm on your team and know you can get through this. I really recommend either reaching out to a school counselor or a teacher at school, or if you are not at school at the moment you can see a GP or contact someone at "Beyondblue". You can also call lifeline (13 11 14 if you are in Australia or you can look it up if you are in a different country) if you need. Sending all my support and wishes your way xxx
Thanks for all the words of encouragement, it really means a lot and today I feel better then other days so thanks for that it gave me an extra boost to get through the day.
...*hugs you* don't give up...stay determined^-^...there are people who do care about you...it takes a lot of strength...but there is beauty in this world...heh...it just takes every ounce of virtues you possess.^-^
I can just feel all the pain in each sentence, you are from the one's who deserve the most, to live, in this word, because you are the one who felt pain, and wasn't left with hate, but with will to help others, not go through the overwhelming pain you are experiencing every day, you are the one who will change the world by being the change, thank you for sharing your story. You are stronger than most in your age, be proud of yourself, you gave me hope. Even if I'm just a weird comment, I do believe in you.
I survived two abusive parents, one was an alcoholic and the other I have no clue if they were on drugs or possibly drinking every night. It is okay to let them go! Don't let anyone try to guilt you into thinking you can't write them out of your life because "X person doesn't have their parent, they died". Just because someone has it worse off than you doesn't make your problems less valid!!! Don't feel obligated to "fix" them or find them help, because ultimately it is their choice to find help (this goes with all types of abusive, mental disorder, or addicted people). They may say "they can't find the help on their own anymore", but I'm telling you it will eventually come to that point in their lives where they have to make a choice to live or die. If you've gotten this far into my giant novel of a comment, I hope this helps you and thank you for listening! You don't have to end up like your parents, that I can promise you. We still have free will, regardless of epigenetics.
I’m going to be 25 this August and I never realized just how bad things were in out family. My Grandfather was an abusive alcoholic, and my Dad’s right there behind him. I’m stuck in this house taking care of my Grandma (who’s addicted to opioids) while my Mom’s in the hospital and when Dad comes home from work and has days off…I get nervous as hell. I’m at a crossroads where my life is already a quarter of the way over, yet I have no direction or identity in who I am or what I want to be. I’ve always wanted to pursue my passion for music, but felt like nobody would be willing to listen, and considering it’s “not a real job,” then I’ve essentially caged myself in fear and anger, but always wanting to feel…cared about. I don’t consider myself an attention-seeker, I just…need validation to feel better. If I do something wrong, I blame myself. When someone else is in pain, I blame myself. My self-doubt, self-hatred, and fear of conflict from living with an alcoholic family hurts more than anything I’ve ever felt in my life. And the worst part is, I’ve told my father what he’s done to me while he’s drunk, and he still continues to drink and take his anger out on me anyways. I don’t know, maybe I’m just putting this here because I don’t know where else to go or who else to talk to, but if you’ve read this far, then I can already say that you’ve shown more love and care for a stranger than I could have ever asked for, and that means a lot to me.
The pain is deep! My heart shatters into thousands of pieces every single day. I smile... I smile a lot but i am not happy... I wish I was never born in such a family! No one literally no one is good in our family.... My grandparents r just greed for money... It's feels bad to say such a thing about elders specially grandparents but the truth is always bitter... My father is an alcoholic... He drinks and drinks a lot...He never thinks about his children for a single sec. All he wishes is to have alcohol! My only hope is my mom... She loves me a lot... I really feel so bad about her...her entire life has been spoiled living with such a shameful man... My life and future now depends on thy mercy God... Hope you give me the strength to face all my problems!
My dad is an alcoholic, my mom moved out of his house with me and my siblings when i was in 7th grade, thank god. But i can still deeply relate to all of these
Lesbian Amazon Sister well she has been wanting to leave for years but my dad is very manipulative and every time they would get into fights they would somehow make up and convince her to stay but that year they have been fighting a lot more and she finally decided to make a move and rent out an apartment. Another reason why i dont think we moved out earlier is because she has four children (including myself) and that would me hard for a single mother and it would be better for us to live in a house instead of moving to an small apartment but she made the right chose to move
@@gxbbyca Must say u were fortunate that you mother moved out with you n your sibblings... But there r people like me you can't move out because my mom won't be able to provide for me as a single mother! 🙂
Do you have any advice for parents who are narcissistic or believe that they're always in the right even when they are wrong? My mother has that nasty habit of believing she's always right
Huh that's my mom + the video above. Imagine that combo. Not only drunk but also can't talk her out of anything. She is always right. And if she isn't then she is passive aggressive and threatening.
@@CyanideOwl You are not my Brother are you? No but seriously, it seems ours moms are pretty similar. I educated myself so hard to the point that I am able to completely destroy my mums errors logically and she still thinks she is right (or she just repeated what i explained and thinks it was her idea) and then there is the fucking alcohol that ives her confidence... gosh i hate her
I identified myself with this video from the beginning to the end. Everything describes me. I've been conscious about all but it's very hard to try to modify your behaviour, thoughts and feelings after more than 20 years of been exposed to this. It's a milestone. Thanks for making this video!
I'm 17 and my father is an alcoholic. All I've seen is rage, physical violence, verbal abuse and constant fights and arguments between my mother and father. It's like I've never get to know what a family is. Growing up in a dysfunctional family, i developed some toxic traits of both of them. I fear that one day I'll become like my mother or my father. I go through anxiety, panic attacks and emotional instability everyday. I just don't know what happens with me. I always have trouble expressing my feelings and emotions, I'm always running from somewhere or from someone. I don't have friends, i don't know how to build relationships, i don't know how to form friendships. I always find it hard to socialize, the fear and insecurity never let me feel stable. Fighting for my mental health everyday, i hope that I left this house someday, hopefully soon and start a new life where I don't hear the noises of someone beaten up, and screaming my name. And the slamming doors, the breaking things and the high pitch voices. I hope you understood this Papa.
Imagine not being able to go and do anything like after school events. And when you did it was because a friend’s parent offered to drive you THERE and BACK. Because I’m not sure about everyone else- but I was never allowed to go to things after school because my parents would drink and couldn’t drive me places. I feel like I missed out on so many cool opportunities.
It make me want to cry so bad seeing how relatable it is. My story goes back when I was 4. My dad was never a good father. He would always go drink and during those time me and my family would always have to move house to house. And during those years were torture. Seeing my mom and dad fight and sometimes see my dad try to hurt my mom honestly traumatize me even to this day. I would cry out to my dad telling him "no papa please stop" and he would continue. It was the same every where we go. Until I was seven that when it all change, that day my dad was very drunk and he and my mom were fighting, then he physical punch her in her head and made her bleed and that when we called the cops and he was arrest. I felt useless when I seen my mom with the bruises. Now my father isn't in my life. We had to move on from that life and move forward. Now I'm too insecure, shy and I do terrible in school. I'm 14 year old about to be 15 in a month. But this is my story and I hope everyone else who took their time to read have a good life and don't end up like my mom and dad was but I'm glad my mom work hard for me and my siblings. (Girl btw) thank you 👧🏻
I can't even face my dad anymore he gets angry of simple things,he masks his real personality infront of our relatives,he often goes out to get alcohol,and fights my mother,Please if you are reading this,you deserve better,you don't deserve what happened.
One thing about these alcoholic parents are that they never accept their fault and always puts their blame on others...... Like my father is a massive drunkard, remains drunk from morning to night 24 by 7 and puts blame on by mom that my mom is responsible for his condition
Interesting video, I actually fit into the vast majority of these, whats interesting is my parents weren't alcoholics, they were just constantly conflicting, said they were staying together for 'the sake of the kids. All we wanted was to have them seperate.
my dad has a beer in his hand every single minute of the day and as soon as he finishes one, he opens up another one, if there are none left, he goes to the store immediately, even if it’s late at night... the only way he can be nice to others (including my mom, my brother and myself) is by being drunk, when he’s not drunk he won’t stop saying bad words to everyone, blaming his problems on everyone, screaming at everyone, saying mean things... and i hate the fact that the only times i can have a good relationship with him and not fight is when he’s drunk
My dad is is an alchoholic, and it is really hard for me, because he is always leaving to go drink with his friends... it feels like he seems happier with his friends than with his own family... he also embarrasses me in front of his friends too, and it makes me feel so worthless :(
Sometimes i want my dad to just run away for good. He's tried so many times...I can't handle being abandoned...this is really on point. I remember one instant how I finally made a close friend, and EVERY FUCKING DAY, i would get so paranoid that he would abandon me...like it was really bad. It wasn't like "oh he wont be my friend," I thought he secretly hated me and manipulated me. Gosh...i sometimes cry when my friends just leave without telling me anything (even small things like going to the restroom)
I have an alcoholic mom, she loves me and my brother to death! But it still hurts when she’s drunk. She takes it all out at my dad when he didn’t do anything! The amount of times I’ve fallen asleep with tears in my eyes.
Wow this hit home😟 I love your channel, thank you for this video. My mom has been an alcoholic basically my whole life. She has problems that she would rather drown with alcohol. When she is drinking she turns into someone else, it's like shes gone whenever she starts drinking. Alcoholism/ addiction runs on both sides of my family. I believe that since I grew up around this type of behavior that i have to be better, even if I'm doing a great job I still feel like it's not good enough. I no longer live with my parents but I have a younger brother and sister that have to deal with her drunkself almost everyday. It makes me feel guilty that I moved out but I know it's not my responsibility to take care of my siblings. I just want her to actually want to become sober for herself and for us.
I’m 13 and I don’t want my dad to pass away. My nana lost her husband (my dads dad) and I don’t want her to lose her son. She will then only have I think her daughter and some more family members left. I have anxiety and it’s hard coping with it cause of my dad drinking. I’m sorry for your loss.
Same but when i was 11 he passed away and the trauma is getting to me. Self hatred, highly insecure, pushing away the people i love, struggle opening up about my issues, and lastly all these mentioned issues affecting my relationship
My dad was an abusive drunk and drug user. I thought that's how all families were until I lived with a friend and her family for 2 months. Nobody yelled or were under the influence of anything, they were just so nice to each other. I was 18 when I realized my whole childhood was toxic. I hope to never be put in that environment ever again.
My dad never hit me. But on occasions in which I would interact with him when he was drunk, he would sometimes blurt out things like "You're Good-for-nothing" or "Your sister is better than you". And I knew he meant it. My dad's the type to not talk much and not yell unless something really pissed him off. He and my mother would find everytime he came home drunk, which was mind you, everyday. It sometimes would get to the point where he would threaten to kill himself or sometimes try to jump off the balcony. I used to put on my headphones and close the door while they fought, still able to hear them from the other room while my headphones blasted music at full volume. My sister used to sought them out but now that she left for uni, I have to step in. Which scares me, because when I look at him I don't see my father and I can't hide anymore. I try my best to stop him from yelling any further or doing anything with the rising fear of him hitting me, or even worse, doing something to himself. I try my best to study hard so I can get out of here, get my mother out of this toxic marriage and also do something for my father. For future parents, please, don't be a monster for your kids.
It hurts seeing how I am not the only one that has gone through this as a child and the children commenting how they are experiencing it now. Even as an adult I still have to deal with my alcoholic father since I live with my parents rn. Every night he drowns himself in alcohol for years and it disgusts me. It also makes him have anger issues and being in a toxic environment with your parents arguing every day doesn’t help. It has definitely ruined our relationship and has made it hard for me to make friends, etc. My fiancé has definitely helped me and I am so glad I am not with someone like my father. In a few more months I’ll be married to the love of my life and away from this toxic, endless loop of alcoholism😔 I never want my future children to go through what I have.
Here’s my story it’s not that tragic My dad was an alcoholic but he wasn’t an abusive one ( I don’t remember him ever being abusive towards me.) The alcohol really made him weak (he slept a lot) which can be followed by him not eating. He always preferred drinking instead of eating. He wasn’t abusive he actually went to work everyday even though he was drunk he still went to work. He tried his best to take care of me my mom even said he spoiled me when I was younger. I recently found out it was due to his grandpa passing away because he was a father figure to him. His problem got so bad he went to the hospital and we found out he had pneumonia ( I didn’t know what it was because at the time I was 10.) he was in the hospital for 2 month until they sent him to a further one. The same week he arrived we found out he passed away. His death did affect me a bit but it really hasn’t hit me yet (if that makes sense) idk if it’s because I was 10 but now I just turned 14 it’s going to be 4 years since he’s gone and it’s starting to hit a little more. Thank you for reading my story.
I just watched this video after I had a fight with one of my parents that's an alcoholic, and this video further proves how much that they need help and how because of their actions my personality has been altered. I cried watching this because it's making me realize everything now and why I am the way I am and why I'm also brought toward friends who are depressed and suicidal and why I'm always there to help. I'm always targeted and yelled and for every little thing I do wrong and I feel like I can never catch a break. I always do try my best but most of the time it's never enough.
Savanna Long as long as you know you tried your best it should be enough for you. an alcoholic is always going to try to deflect blame. try to realize just how special a person you are. I know that it sounds like a cliche but it will get better!
I didnt live with my dad but he would visit sometimes because my mom and dad pretty much split up when I was a little kid, so I never really had a full time dad, it was just my mom and brothers. I will never forget when I called him to ask if he was going to attend my high school graduation but he was drunk for a couple of days and told me he wasnt going to be able to and he started crying. I still remember that vividly. I wish I would have been able to help him. RIP Dad.
i feel so sorry for your loss😭. My dad and mom also split. And my dad visit sometimes only like your's. I also have a little sister. My dad had another wife and bcoz of this my mom became alcoholic. She is becoming weak day by day. She drinks so much. its been around 12 years since i had been trying to help her. But it has become much worse.
my dad is an alcoholic, he drinks every single day without fail and it has gotten earlier and earlier into the day. sometimes even starting before afternoon- he gets drunk everyday and takes all his drunken emotion out on the rest of my family. he refuses to sleep, and often argues and shouts at us while we are trying to sleep. i’m afraid of who he is when he is drunk. i only ever like him when he’s sober, it’s like a burst of hope, but it doesn’t last long because soon enough he picks up a lager. the worst thing though, is when he’s drunk around my friends. stumbling into my room with all my friends there and completely humiliating me. in that moment, i feel overwhelmingly ashamed to be related to such an irresponsible and unstable mess of a father. he needs help just as much as i do.
i relate to this a little to much and i am so sorry you are going through this i really hope things get better for you please reach out if you ever need anything i would love to talk to you, just stay calm and strong and you can get through this i am so proud of you!
I grew up being very confused, and up until this point, I still feel lost. My mom in particular was the type the took in and helped our childhood friends who were going through family home troubles... while my parents completely emotionally neglecting their own children (me and my siblings). We endured a lot of emotional and verbal abuse, and for some of us, it got physical too. My dad was never around for us physically or emotionally. He was a hard worker (and I truly admire that part) but he was never really there for us in any other way (his parents were physically abusive and emotionally distant while he was growing up) when he was home, he would be on the computer watching his shows or youtube drinking, and when he wasn't doing that he was off doing his own thing or fighting with my mom in front of us or yelling at us. I never wanted my mom to leave the house because even though my mother was emotionally unstable, I felt safer with her. I didn't know if my dad would hurt us or yell at us and she couldn't be there just in case... My mother always ignored our family issues making us to believe that everything was normal, going on to help other people, leaving us children very confused. When I went to friends houses and got out into the real world, I realized that it was so, so different. I was so jealous of the parents I saw who kissed and hugged and loved on their children and each other, and respected each other. I didn't know why as a child but now I see it made me wish so so bad that I had that. I always had (and still do) have such high levels of anxiety, panic attacks and ptsd from any yelling or slamming doors, even throwing furniture and items. I still get triggered. I have tried for so long to heal from the past traumas, and now even in my early 20s all I can do is watch my family slip away... my younger siblings will still call me from time to time crying because they found my mom drinking and driving, or because my father is in a rage and disappears. And the worst part has always been that I tried to fix it, I tried to be the adult even as a child, I tried to glue everything back together... The pain and confusion growing up in a dysfunctional family follows you forever... and even when you heal mostly, you will never fully heal. Please never feel like you are alone in this. We can heal together.
I'm around 13 and it's always been hard to relate to other people and their families. My dad was actually normally a good parent, but I think my mom's addiction was hard on him as well as the rest of us. My mom always said she felt bad about drinking or taking pills, but I think her saying that was what helped form the mindset 'if she really loved us, she would quit'. It's hard to put this all in past tense, since it's all happening right here, right now. Hearing other people's stories both make me feel better and worse. In any case, thank you for sharing everyone (and thanks for reading this as well).
I am 17 years old, I’ll be 18 in August. I have anxiety and depression. I grew up with a Dad just like this. Constant criticism, lots of drinking, no affection or playfulness from my dad. I had and still have no emotional connection with my dad. Being a teen, i only remember small things about being a kid. 1.) i cried every night in my room because i thought my dad didn’t love me 2.) he constantly screamed at me and called me names. My mom is manipulative and passive agreed and so i recently moved out of her house into my dad and stepmoms house hoping it would be better and also that i could get close with my dad somehow. My mom smokes pot, i do not view her as a parent, she never cooked dinner for me as a kid, she was always at work so i was left home alone a lot. We have been homeless once and we lived with random men who didn’t treat me or my mom right. So i didn’t really have a stable home either. I moved in with my dad about a year ago, and I’ve never felt worse. I’ve been in therapy for maybe 6 months, first it was to help me get out of an abusive relationship with an ex, but now it’s focused onto my family life and me. it’s helped a lot but some days are still really really hard. My dad sometimes gets drunk on the weekends and starts fights at 3:00 am around there. He makes our stepmom do all the work while he sleeps on the couch, drinks a lot, and works. So going through all this and more that i haven’t mentioned, i feel all these on a really really deep level. It’s like I’m just trying to get by everyday, constantly walking on egg shells around my dad, staying in my room trying to get better on my own. My dad AND my step mom make me feel like i need to toughen up and get over my emotions since i am a hypersensitive person. In this house i feel as if i am not allowed to be me or have my own voice. I’m just praying for the day that i can save up enough money and find a full time job and move the hell out of this place. I am tired of asking for love when i shouldn’t have to. And what sucks is my parents make me feel like I’m the one that needs to change for them... i just don’t understand... it’s starting to make me feel crazy for feeling this way, and I’m starting to believe their comments about me. The worst part is i do not think i could ever in my life tell them how i feel in fear of completely losing the only family i have. And fear that i won’t be heard by them, and only shammed. It’s a daily battle.
my mom used to be an alcoholic. And now I'm jumpy and I'm scared of loud noises and I constantly feel like something bad is going to happen.. And I don't even trust my closest friend and cousin now.. but at least she got the help that she needed :3 But I'm starting to get better too though
We recently established that my mother is an alcoholic.I always knew she had an unhealthy relationship with alcohol but didn’t realise how bad it was till I turned 13.We always argue whenever she drinks.She makes me feel like I am the one at fault and that I am exaggerating.I thought that we were so close that we would never lie to eachother.She kept on lying to me about her alcoholism.It makes me feel sad because she is the one I love the most in this world.If someone I love this bad hurts me the most,isn’t there something wrong?Is it my fault for not trying hard enough to help her stop drinking?I can’t help but cry..All I can do is watch unless she decides to get help.
A few of these points have completely hit the nail on the head for me. After 21 years of dealing with an alcoholic mother who verbally emotionally and somewhat physically abused and neglected me as child has been something else for me. I've only recently started coming to terms within the last year that I was abused and neglected for all these years and it continues into my adulthood but identifying it is just the start. Realizing that shutting yourself in a room playing a video games to ignore everything, not being socialized, having to beg for clothes, being told your overweight, being horrified and breaking down because you or someone else is having an argument and blamed for not being a caretaker to your grandparents is insanely abusive, manipulative and toxic. I hope everyone else who's watched this and related to it can find help. It's out there and everyone deserves to have access to it. And please be kind to yourself. That is the biggest thing i'm learning to work on as I go through this journey.
My alcoholic father was emotionally and verbally abusive. This led me to think abusive behavior was normal. And when I got into m first relationship at 16, I saw abusive behavior and thought “this is familiar” “this is how dad acts, so it must be love”…. I wis I could go back and tell my younger self so many things. I’m almost 20 now, and I’m still dealing with the trauma from my dad and an abusive relationship. And I was diagnosed with PTSD 2 years ago. Life fucking sucks
I love my father, but he smokes and drinks too much. He doesn't get mad he usually just sits and talks nonsense. He hasn't punished me nor anyone by hitting but he does annoy my mother a lot. If my mother goes to the store he gets angry at her my mother but my father thinks she goes out a lot when she doesn't. I just hope things change because we still need him.
im in a very similar situation. my dad is an alcoholic but he doesnt really get physically abusive (luckily) however he constantly gets angry at my mother when she comes home excited from her job (shes a nanny for kids and she loves it so so much and ofc its not the most exciting thing to hear about it but my siblings and i always listen) and i feel terrible because i can tell it makes her sad. its also difficult for me because my dads father killed himself from alcoholism and im scared he’ll do the same if i confront him about it. it feels like my hands are tied and im constantly walking on egg shells with him
I can relate to this so much. My mom was an alcholic and so was my step dad. My step dad got clean and he is now completely alcohol free but our relationship is strained because I don't trust him, my mom lost the battle and gave up and commited suicide years ago. She was in and out of hospital, she'd get clean, be fine for a month and then go right back to drinking. My step dad was a loud alcoholic whose favourite game was to corner me and yell in my face, to this day I flinch when someone comes behind me and if you corner me and yell at me I am capable of punching you and I also have trust issues, especially towards any man or father figure I've met in my life. I tend to push people away. My mom was the best mom ever when she was sober, she'd listen, she'd talk with me, I could come to her with anything I wanted and she'd always have time to talk. When she was drunk she'd go to sleep and lock me out, yell at me, we'd fight on a nearly daily basis (and it wasn't "No mom I don't want to clean my room because I am busy" type of fighting, it was: "I want my mother to be alive to see me graduate and through major events in my life" types of fighting, she'd nearly burn down the house a few times because she'd leave food on a stove, lock me out and go to sleep and the scariest memory for me is seeing her stumble over the short railing we had on the balcony one time because the fence was being remodeled, she fell from the first floor (around a meter and a half height) and landed on her car leaving a dent in it, she got up and walked off as if nothing happened with bloody hands and a few scratches here and there but that was my scaries moment because I thought that she was going to die. I was around 10 I believe and I've had to deal with that since I was about 5, she moved in with my step dad but I lived with my grandparents and had to stay with her during holidays and vacations and it was a living nightmare especially because my grandparents knew what was up but they were basically like: "Eh she is your mother you have to live with her for a few days deal with it it's not our problem", they kept ignoring the problem until it was too late though.
Hey you! Yeah you reading this! Take a moment to read this! I am so frickin proud of you! Maybe you don’t know me but I am in your family. In a family of people who struggle and still stand strong. You decided to do things that you didn’t feel like doing today. Maybe this doesn’t seem like much but we did it while our parents were drinking. Maybe they weren’t being abusive to you or yelling, maybe they were chill. But you know that voice people get when they are drunk? God, it annoys us so much but we are still strong. I am so frickin proud of you. Cry on my shoulder, blow your snot in me. I DONT CARE! WE are family ❤️
This tore me apart. Now that my alcooholic dad is not here (he died as result of liver necrosis/kidney failure/heart attack, due the high alcohol consumption while having diabetes), I start to understand how many situations i've been in my entire life and how it all started. My dad was the best when he was sober, but most of times, I couldn't trust in him, bc in many ways he let me down. Now, i'm more aware of who I am and how to deal with all my issues and not repeat the same mistakes.
Hi I'm from India. I'm experiencing every symptom mentioned in this video. I don't know what a healthy family is like. I'm the School Mascot. The guy who makes everyone laugh with my comedic attitude. But no one knows how broken I am on the inside. My heart seeks for emotional bonding with someone, but I don't want to get close with anyone becoz of my trust issues ( also cuz my 1st attempt at love failed). I TRUST NO ONE. I want to experience love and emotional intimacy but at the same time my mind tells me to run away from them. I feel like I'm being ripped apart. I don't know if I can ever recover and have a family on my own. My only resort is Christ...
Things will get better. It's difficult when your own parents make your life terrible. I'm going through the same thing. Hope it gets better someday. ❤️
Same here... Even I had trust issues due to which I miserable failed at my first relationship. And now it seems pointless to try again... Specially when at times I start blaming and hating myself! I am scared of getting emotionally attached to anyone However with time I have learn to love myself, to have faith in myself and be optimistic.... Even if the past, present or the future is not good, in the end nothing really matters! Made of dust shall return to dust :)
i will never in my life drink. and ruin my kids lives. it’s painful and hurts everyone around you. please seek help- i beg of parents who suffer from alcoholism, seek family. this isn’t a real life.
I will never drink or smoke when I grow up. I always am thankful for my dad who equally does not drink or smoke, if I only had influence from my mom, things could've been worse but my dad is here and I'm grateful. My mom drinks so much and it makes me so p/ssed. I feel like one day I'm gonna just f//king snap. My life was already ruined the moment my parents divorced
Growing up I’ve always hated every holiday bc my parents drank and when we got home they always Ed argued and were very toxic,I always cry myself to sleep with no comfort.I only have 1 sister and she’s older but she never comforts me so I am very anti-social and never open up to anyone
Thank you! I have ALL 7 of the traits all of them. It was a bad time in my life and still affects me decades later. BUT BUT BUT I have forgiven and released my Mom because she had a dysfunctional childhood and an alcoholic Mom. She passed. And now I think about her sober times and the wonderful person she was. I continue to work on me. It is all I can do. Thanks for the video.
I am currently working and it been 2 months, my father is an alcoholic, he becomes crazy at night time. Harming his relationships with close ones. I sometimes get tensed due to his behaviour. And i think I'll never come back when I go back to my work location. It feels really bad when your closer ones are like this. This world is a strange place, people say if we leave our family then we may get depressed due to no family support and currently I'm feeling sad and tensed by his behaviour of creating an issue for nothing in the night and then getting normal in the morning.
I do relate with parts of this video myself but I have not had alcoholic parents. I think it is because most of my family have never been there for me emotionally and my older brother even emotionally strains my (other) brother and I.
I've always tried to tell myself that everything's okay and that I'm being too dramatic...but like you just totally described my life, and that's a pretty scary thing to realize.
Adéla Koblihová me too! :) And I’m being so honest I love my mom I love her to death and she stresses out a lot but one thing is when she gets drunk and I’m upset at her and I don’t hug her back and she says “you don’t love me anymore” “you hate me” which is obviously not true and she manipulates me.
To this day and i live alone ..i always got to have my bedroom door locked and if I hear a sound in the night while I’m sleeping I’ll automatically wake up with a racing heart thinking I’m back in my childhood home with that parent. I would never wish this on anyone.
Im 12 but I’ve been through so much, I know not to be anything like my mom when I’m older, she smokes, drinks, and I’m pretty sure cheats on my dad, but she tries to hide smoking but I found out a couple years ago. I know I am an independent person and I’m emotionless, I go to a therapist and I don’t have trust with my mom. I know not to be like her and to try to stay positive. Some think 12 is young to know all I know, but I know it’s life. But my friends have drifted off, and now they make fun of me while I have one or two friends to hang out with but only at school. If you are going through something bad or sad, IT WILL GET BETTER, think about what choice you can make later to make it better 🥰
Sara Payne wow, me too! My mom has gotten better though I can’t see my dad, and I go to therapy. I also used to be bullied at school. I hope things get better for you.
I'm 12 as well. My mom is drunk right now, and whenever I confront her about it, she just tries to manipulate me and goes like "Oh it's privileged kids time". I know I deserve the privilege for my mom not to be drunk. As I type this, my little brother is confronting her. I hope he can get through to her.
Strangely, even though my parents drink a tame amount of alcohol, I've experienced, thought, or felt every single one of the effects mentioned. It's weird, but it's also nice to know that there is an awareness of what kind of life I've lived up until now and why it's made me as I am as a person. Thank you for this. It's been an experience to watch this video and I truly enjoyed it. Small Note: My parents are, luckily, not abusive. However, the way they are has led me to feel exactly how this video portrayed those with alcoholic parents somehow.
sorberbia as mentioned in the beginning it's not just with alcohol. Most of what was mentioned is from abusive parents in general. They tend to be fairly common with alcoholic/addicted guardians though. Though with your small note: maybe they were borderline abusive and you aren't sure they were? I dunno. It could be something completely unrelated altogether.
This was ON POINT. From physical and verbal abuse... just hit me, knock my teeth out, pull me out of bed by my hair to wake me up.... but the mental abuse has stuck with me. Changing those characteristics is HARD. Thank you for this. ❤
Absolutely accurate. Another thing I’d like to add is that alcoholic parents can be reckless and selfish. They can often fuck up and expect you to clean up after them, or to help them with their issues, while you still can be a kid. That can make you feel like you have to take care of everyone else because that’s what you learned to too. It also can affect you to understand what’s normal and what’s not. How to do things correctly or not. It can hard to explain when people don’t understand since they haven’t experienced that situation. Etc. you can often feel alone and wonder why you couldn’t have a normal family life like most others do. You just want anyone to love you and want to take care of you. But you can also learn to be independent and be scared to depend on others since you weren’t able to do that with your parents. Etc.
My mother is an alcoholic. I’m still young and my family is coming apart at the seams. My father can’t take much more of this. I can’t take more of this. Please if you have any advice for this, I beg you please tell me. I love her but she is breaking my heart.
I am in the same situation.. I love my mother and it breaks my heart to see her drunk every single day. Unfortunately, I don't have any advice. Remember that you deserve to be happy too. Take care of you and your mental health
Please know that it is not your responsibility to fix her. And it is not your fault. Even though I don't know you I am sure you are a great human being. I am sorry that I can't tell you something to make it right because I would and still wish someone would tell something like that but there is hope. It is gonna be alright.
Never knew I really had a problem till I started watching these videos and realized how much I was like the alcoholics describing themselves in videos. Really hurts that I always denied having a problem.
Every time I hear that can open... man the anxiety the memories the worry the sadness Whenever I see my cousins I think how lucky they are to have such a good father they will never know and understand the pain
this made me think. I survived cancer twice while having half of my face amputated in the process.. a tumor destroyed my jaw and changed everything I once knew.. I decided to start my own channel to inspire others who feel ugly and not good enough for this world..I moved to Barcelona to build a new life. I want to show others that it's all about positivity and energy.. and that with the right mindset, you can overcome any mental or physical hurdle if u just learn to love yourself! positive energy trumps any physical shell! go check me out and subscribe if u want to help me reach my goal of helping others who lack self-love.. it would mean the world to me!!
My mom is a single mother and for years she's been depending on alcohol to cope. It changes her completely. She's mean and petty when she's drunk. She has never been there for me emotionally. And it feels like all the love I should be getting goes to my brothers. (I'm the only sister + the middle child) I've learned to predict my mom's moods when she drinks, and she says a lot of hurtful things to me. Ik she doesn't always mean them, bc the next day she'll try to apologize. She and I have drifted apart and her apologies don't do much anymore. We don't talk about anything and things are always tense between us. But I'm turning 18 this month so I guess we'll both be better off when I'm out.
I personally haven't dealt with having an alcoholic family. I got off lucky, my dad used to do drugs and be an alcoholic, but straightened out a year before I was born (my 2 older sisters had to deal with him for most of their childhood) Still, I do relate to some of these topics.
give me waffles mofo my father started right after I was born so I don't even know what life without is. As a younger child I thought everyone's parent did that. Nowadays I started not caring about anything, in Germany, especially countryside regions like me are a gant opportunity. 13 year olds easily can get alcohol, even though it's allowed only with 18. So in my school are many students who drink so much and one of my friends is scared senseless about them. But I don't care? Why? I got used to it. It's something that shouldn't happen but it does. In our neighboring school are many smokers and people who abuse medicine. That is kind of a theme here, If you don't do something bad for your health, you don't live.
Be thankful that the world talks about this and that there is help out there for you free of charge. At least that is one thing to be thankful for. So many smart kids realizing that they need help. Very proud of you all.
New video! This video covers the effects that alcoholic parents can have on their children.
Do you have anyone who can support or help you guys in times of needs? Good friends/relatives? Sometimes, a good social support system can go along way.
Psych2Go good video like always, could you do one on abusive parenting and it's effects if you haven't already?
Clayton, sure thing! Penny, it's good you try to be strong on your own, but know that you are not alone and can depend on others. Good luck!
Emotionally unavailable parents produce emotional unavailable children.
Psych2Go my mom was a drug addiction but she is now a great person. I am raised by my overly strict and some times agressive grandmother. My best friend has a alcoholic mother and her dad walked out on her.
It hurts how much I can relate to this.
Night Sky my jokes aside i can relate with the 2nd one..
same
Night Sky same..
Night Sky it doesn't hurt me even though I went through most of the stuff
um same
i'd like to add that often you feel responsible to look after them/one of them in a way or another, as if the roles of a parent and a child were reversed. also you can be extremely anxious, because they/one of them change completely with drinking.
With your complete family being alcoholics and many dying because of that, I started looking after my father who is the person near to me. I started going to sleep at sometimes 1am in a school week, simply because I was waiting for him coming home safely. I still feel sad whenever he is sitting downstairs with me, looking bad because of that hangover. I still cry whenever I hear him run to the toilet. I still want to shout at him , whenever I look into his eyes who took one a hello colour because of his liver slowly getting sick.
I remember being 10, my friends were shopping for clothes and having sleep overs whilst I was cooking and basically taking care of my alcoholic mother, I was forced to grow up way too fast and missed out on so many things because of that.
theghostofyou since age 5 & am now in my mid 30s... I know this 2well. I'm ending this lifestyle once & 4all & am going 2have pets. Therefore, I'd have lil2 no time 4the 1s w alcoholism 2affect me as much or at all.
Luna Schulz I did the same, staying up late, by any window, even if not in my BR, wondering if my parent w alcoholism would return. I'd also only sleep 3-4 hrs on some nights due2 anxiety of possibly waking up2 the parent already begun early drinking, even though not always. I was 9 & 10.
Especially while they're drunk. When I was a teen, I found my mom sitting sideways in a chair, however, she had fallen backward, unable to right herself and bracing her palms against the floor.
Her face was a deep red and she was totally wasted. Before she noticed me, I stood a good minute in the kitchen entrance weighing the consequences of either helping her or going upstairs and pretending I didn't see her. Come what may. Maybe she dies. Maybe we live with our grandparents and the abuse is over.
Inside the space of a minute, I settled on helping her. We continued to suffer her abuses until we moved out.
As a mother, seeing children on here commenting about their own awful circumstance, it breaks my heart. YOU deserve better. YOU deserve to be LOVED. You deserve to be treated with love and respect. YOU MATTER. You CAN get through this. You WILL. And you will be better for it.
Brittany Webb this means a lot, thank you for posting such kind words from your heart
You didn’t have to write this, and you did. Thank you it means a lot.
Brb crying...😪😪
Bethany Francia Sending big warm virtual hugs, you cry as long as you need to. It's good to let that out every now and then. {{{{hugs}}}}
Bethany Francia cry as much as you need to. Let that stuff out. Scream if you need to scream. Run if you need to run. When we fall apart, we have the opportunity to build ourselves back up stronger than we ever were. ♥️
My heart goes out to all the children that are in quarantine with Alcoholic parents! 🙏🏿
Thank you!
much needed
Thank you and you too.. take care of yourself
Thank you so much it has been quite painful but im used to it
❤️
It sucks because today is Christmas and my dad is drunk... it hurts to see him like that. But whenever I bring it up to someone they say “it’s not your issue, it’s your dad’s issue” they don’t understand
Im sorry u have to go through that ur not alone both my parents consume a lot alcohol and i don't have anyone to talk to about this
i 100% understand you. my dad has beeem drunk basically every day of his life since i was born. wouldn’t be surprised if he was drunk in the hospital when my mom was giving birth. i dont think i’ve ever seen a christmas without my dad being drunk. hell, last christmas my dad didn’t even come upstairs from his hideout in the garage because he was so drunk. you aren’t alone
I know this is a really old comment, but my mom relapsed on Christmas a couple years ago, I was really worried about how she wasn’t texting me and I was 12 btw. That same Christmas my grandma was badmouthing my mom while I was playing the guitar. It kinda ruined the guitar for me
For some reason I can’t see the comment I commented
@@imaddatu6819 how are you doing now? Hope you've picked up the guitar again, please don't stop doing what you love because of other people. Xxx
dont know why but tears just appeared
Sorry!
My dad fills with me so much rage, i had to cut ties before i hurt him/myself.
NEVER RELATED MORE.
Same
I know why. You know why. It is ok... I 100% understand.
alcoholic parents can have a really profound impact on children. As a therapist, when I work with clients who have had parents who had alcohol problems, their later lives can be severely impacted. Thanks for a great video on this.
GetPsyched uh how severe?
Its really based on subjectivity, but alcoholism in parents can mean poor standards in parenting. potenitally leading to neglect and mistreatment. It really depends on the individual, but it can have really powerfuls impacts.
My Dad's an alcoholic, it ruined my pre-teen/teen life and now I'm 100% sure I'm high functioning depressed. I think things are getting better it's just a long process as I became the mediator in my family and a therapist to my parents. I'm glad he's lowered drinking a lot now but I defintely feel like I lost a lot of my life and its like my memories have filtered so i can only look back on the bad.
GetPsyched When I was young one of my parents had a drinking problem. I witnessed physical abuse on others and was screamed at, but I never went to a therapist. So I've never been sure if I was actually abused or what kind of effect it had on me.
Well thats reassuring...
Dang this hits too close to home
Jacob too true.
I feel you dude.
Feel you
Bro I want to give u a hug for no reason
In my case, it's my dad. And it's absolutely terrifying having to listen to him drunkenly cursing and yelling at my mum and grandmum and throwing things around.
we're on the same boat bro
same
Same, i feel horrible that my mom and brother always shield me from his rage so i can lock myself in my room and cry while i hide under the bed...
Same
It’s been a year I hope your dad or you and your family members moved out
The fear of when the parent gets home, and the anxiety of hearing them walk toward the direction of your room. My heart still races when I hear footsteps on hollow floors (like in trailer houses) and I just kinda expect myself to get yelled at
Yep, I can relate so much. In this case it is my mom. I always ask her please if you drink today don't get drunk and she promises. Few hours later she is drunk. I get yelled at beaten up. Then she kicks me up to my room she slaps me I go on tik tok and chill and feel better. Then she is coming upstairs and I get afraid. Then now she is in my room yelling at me for no reason moving closer to me like she is gonna beat me up. I'm currently crying I feel worthless I feel like I shouldn't be on this world. Don't get me wrong she isn't drunk every day but the days she goes out to by drinks she gets drunk and those are the worst times ever. I just want to run away. :(
I am so sorry you have to deal with that😓. I know how sucky is it to have to deal with parents like that all the time. The only thin that gets me through it is remembering that God is my strength and he will get me through anything. I will be praying for you!
BubblyImani that last comment was ment for you , sorry!
BubblyImani RUN. RUN AS FAST AS YOU CAN.
I wonder if I’ll ever not feel anxious and freeze when i hear footsteps approaching my door...
I realised how toxic and horrible my father was because of his alcoholism so I cut him out and haven't taked to him in 3 years. This upset my whole family badly and I was told I had no right to do so because he was my father and I should accpt him the way he is. I stood my ground and accepted that my family is poorly educated about mental health. The first year was hard and the result of his alcoholism is becoming more aparent but I didn't regret it once. Never accept anyone with such horrible affects to your life and just because they are family doesn't justify it. If anything it makes matters worse.
When it comes to parents like these you can't(even if you still want to) let them back in. They need to(figuratively) fall on their ass and pick themselves up to even start being a decent person. And even then it will never be a normal relationship, and still have watch for signs of relapse. Talking from far too much experience with this.
ViktuuriTrash And stay confident. I had that too where my family told me he "changed" and he himself tried to talk and say he is sorry. But knowing him, he will act like he changed for maybe a week and go back to his old behavior. He still drinks btw, he is too high on his horse to understand. Such parents are manipulative so don't be tempted to fall for it. I'm proud of you for taking such a huge step, it's not easy but it in the end it will do only good. Stay strong💕
Chey P. Absolutely agree with you. He is really manipulative and I have previously told him he drinks too much or does sth else that bothers me and he should stop but what am I? What adult will take a child seriously? He just laughed and brushed it off as nothing and I strongly belive he would do the exact same if I forgave him. Even now he still drinks and hasn't learnt a damn thing in these past 3 years while I feel like I went through a whole lifetime twice.
My name is chair I have the same problem, sometimes It feels like I've thrown my dad under the bus by abandoning him. I believe though that there where reasons, I've tried to tell him about why his behaviour is detrimental to mine and my brother's relationship to him, yet he's always overly defensive about his intentions. I hope one day I get to meet him and tell him why I did what I did, and the wish is for him to understand himself and why things are as they are. And I hope that you too will get along with your dad too, my friend.
SniffHD I hope you get to have that in the future. Knowing my father, he will never change so it's better for me to move on but I tottaly get what you mean by wanting him to understand. I want the same but I just know it will never happen. Don't feel bad for doing so because you are doing what's best for you. I wish you luck in making things better between you two💕
My Dad - Alcoholic + Extreme Anger Issues = Awful parent
Take a my mother and put smoking in the alcohol space. That award goes to my father
Illogical Logic I'm sorry for you. 😢
Panic attacks should be added, too
Luna Schulz yeah my Dad also smokes too
Illogical Logic same :/ plus with an overly religious mother who doesn't believe in mental illness 😧
Okay, here goes my story.
So I'm 15 years old and my mum has far too much alcohol. I'm not sure if I class her as an alcaholic though. Through the day she is fine but later on at about 7 o'clock she turns to alcohol. She has 3 bottles of wine every night. This is when I know to stay out of her way because she shouts at everyone for no reason and tries to cause unnecessary arguments. She has went to hit me a few times but I got out her way in time. This has been goinf on for a long time now, probably about 4 or 5 years. But it's only recently I've discovered what is actually wrong with her. I have a 9 year old brother who isn't fully aware why she's like this. But we are not close at all, if I had a problem I could never ever talk to her about it. I once was having panick attacks and feeling down all the time and I finally told her, she just said "its just a phase, you'll get over it" it became so bad that my nana took me to the doctors and I had anxiety. I was close to depression but I got out of it in time. I'm scared to talk to any of my friends about it imcase they judge me. I relate to all these in one way or another. Thank you for taking time out of your day to read this💖💖
You have like no likes. I'm the first person to like ur comment
Doris Lee aw thank you!!xx
PumpkinsnBlackcats she gets drunk every night. Just not through the day. Thank you for reading my comment. Means a lot💓
My dad caused me those exact reactions, just that I received help much later and it's been more difficult to deal with. If you have someone that can "rescue you", say, a social worker, best friend or even another adult that takes care of you, shout for help. Don't fight it like you're alone, because you are not.
krazylia thank you! I do feel alone at times, but I have my nana. The one who took me to the doctors, she knows everything about me and I can talk to her about anything xx
It makes me feel less lonely realizing how many people in the comment section has an alcoholic parent.
it does
I come back here everytime my dad mess up big time.
Fr
I’m crying right now just reading them, knowing I’m not alone
I relate to this.I see my dad almost drunk everyday it hurts me.When I grow up I'm not gonna be like him.I dont want my kids to suffer what I am suffering right now with my mom:(
sending love for you
I relate to your comment so much :'(
Sending you love and strength ❤️ you will make a great parent ❤️
❤️
the level i relate to this on is so high. my dad drinks like 30-40 beers A DAY and is drunk EVERY. SINGLE. DAY.
im so worried that when i have kids they’ll have to suffer through this because of my fathers problems and my corrupted definition of a normal family
There is a frightening amount of people who relate to this video, myself included.
I know this old but me too :(
*laughs nervously*
I can relate to much ;-;
TheOverlyHappyGoth ME
Relatable
Same
Same
alcohol is not the solution to relieve stress
Leo
it is if you dont have kids
A glass or 2 of wine after a long day can be good, but getting drunk is a completely different thing. It's bad for you and the people around.
It works temporarily
I think it relieves stress temporarily too but you don't do anything to improve yourself and waste a lot of time and mess up your families life. It's selfish and I think only people who think it's a legitamit reason to blame others for their behavior will even do that to their family. They think I'm sitting pretty and you can't blame me while their shirking responsibility left and right.
Marijuana
My mother used to say "Im the parent here your the child so stop being the parent" if i wasn't the parent who would have been?
My mom says something similar, except not about being the parent, she just says "you're being so nosy and controlling mind your own business". Uh, you're my mom, I think it's my business with my life being affected by your drinking :/
Same
They think that making a child= beeing a mother. Reality is that they take zero accountability and are themself acting like narcissistic children.
Omg!!! This is true! My mom acted that way but like someone had to take over and be the adult. People wonder why I’m serious….because I always had to be a grown up.
Very relatable
I am swearing off alcohol, and any other drug. And I'm also afraid of having an actual kid because I do not want to be like my dad.
If i ever have kids i will make sure i never drink it's so painful watching your parent throwing up cuz of alcohol and having to clean it up
I live with severe chronic pain, my body is like a minefield and everything hurts. I’m so scared to become like my dad and grandparents that I’ve NEVER taken any strong painkiller or had even a drop of alcohol. I’m terrified to death of becoming him. I’ve got severe ptsd because of my dad. When I was a young teen me and my younger sister went on a trip abroad with him, he drank and drank until he could barely stand. My grandparents always drank box wine daily, like 2l each a day.
I am proud of this growth for JFK (jk ofc, mad support of you.)
me too. my father and my brother have severe drinking problems (my brother literally only being 19) and last week on christmas eve my brother threw up on me because he got so drunk. it stems from my grandfather who ended up killing himself on my birthday due to alcoholism. after growing up with my father and recently now my brother constantly drunk around me ive promised myself to never even try alcohol
My mom was an alcoholic all through my middle and high school years. Before that, she was married to my dad and they were overly religious. I say this video is pretty spot on.
you have the exact same life story as me ....
Me aswell
Same, dude. I'm twelve and this is exactly what it's like for me.
its scary how relatible this comment is
Same thats me
My dad got arrested for drunk driving and I struggle with severe depression, trust issues, self-hatred, and a fear of being abandoned. Thank you for this.
doggy121466 I never knew that I bet that what you been through was horrible and sometimes you hate your self and feel uncomfortable and I hope you feel better from what happened in your past
doggy121466 same lol
Thanks to my father I developed a strong dislike of alcohol. I have this deep psichological thing that makes me unable to enjoy it even when I know a little does no harm so I'm unable to consume alcholic beverages.
I can force myself to drink a very small amount for certain special occasions but that is my limit and even then I feel disgust.
Don't drink. I'm in thr same position as you. Don't drink, and don't try to develop a liking for it. Its not worth it.
@@LS-Moto Never tried and never will. It really isn't worth.
agreed. im the exact same
@@phanboy8059 same here
I grew up with an alcoholic father who really hurt me emotionally throughout all my childhood and encouraged his children to learn how to drink.... I haven’t been able to recover from all of this but I am proud to say that I don’t drink nowadays and I never will.
I’m 14. I have an alcoholic father who also smokes. He just yelled at me for getting ready in the bathroom for 10 minutes when he needed to use it. He couldn’t even wait 10 minutes. I also have AuDHD so I get ready for the day quite slowly. He also yells at my mother a lot. He has been like this since I can remember.
Same 😢😢😢😢😢
Yea... that rage and impatient attitude, it is unbearable. It never goes away even after the drugs or drink goes away. They got so man excuses for why in classes, but never address the real issue. The person...
It's weird, I grow up with an abusive mother and I relate to this at 100%
aw thanks :D
same
wildfoxn95 me too
@wildfoxn95 If I was your friend I'd hug you and tell you that you are important in life and god also is proud of having a person like you here too since you actually are letting nothing cross your way in life.
wildfoxn95 same
This is oddly relevant not to me but someone I know. In my class there's a boy whose dad is an alcoholic and parents are abusive. The thing I've most recognized is his social behaviors. His parents keep him in the house as they are very controlling. He'll be going on a trip to Washington D.C and his dad ripped off the info to the kids schedule in order to know where he is going to be at. He asked our teacher if she's could make an excuse so he didn't have to call them. He's constantly saying things to our teacher like "your better than my Mom" and while he doesn't say it as much he used to say things like "I'll see you tomorrow as long as I'm not dead" and " it was nice knowing you all" it may seem a little dramatic but then you have to remember the situation he's in. His father when picking him up looks at him with disgust, he's run away twice and had to refuse foster care so he could protect his little brother. Back to social behaviors he's almost always jumpy more so than most. If you get to close he flinches and he'll jump if you touch him. He also has problems relating to people when we're taking about things that happened when we were younger and just the nonsense of life. To completely normal things he'll be confused and he genuinely doesn't understand some of the simplest phrases. I'm just glad he finds joy in his poetry even if it's rarely happy and that he found a girl he likes. I just wish I could do more.
Maya Hamilton sounds like a textbook case of PTSD. I wonder; is he with the girl he likes? If not maybe you can try to hook them up? Having normal relationships helped me out a lot. Other than that, just be there for him. Talk with him if he needs it. You don't have to outright say it but as long as he thinks someone cares it makes life much more bearable. Eventually he might get to the point where he can live a stable life. Hope it helps.
Get him in contact of social workers or child protection agencies.. maybe teach him ways to deal with anxiety, and persuade him to not think suicidal thoughts or see the good things in life.. idk uh I guess you can also listen to him and his poetry! Hope things get better
Maya Hamilton Sounds like he is getting abused physically as well as all the other ways, trauma
Maya Hamilton just keep being a good friend,stay calm around him and be happy for and with him during his good days and good times.it will help him pull away from the negativity and reach onto the positives...this is coming from someone who has been through alot of trauma and a lot of abuses...
Kinda bummed I watched this. Very good video and very accurate. Im going to go meditate now...
Where are you now? 2 years later?
@@mckenna_carlin9559 I'm not exactly sure how to answer that. My father and step mother passed, my fience's alcoholic mother is still alive, still allowed to infect our lives with her toxicity because she refuses address and stand up to her. Our lives have moved forward, in the most beautiful way possible, with the nearing birth of our next daughter. Our children are happy, healthy and loved in ways we were not. I like to think I'm two years older, stronger, wiser and more grounded now than ever random RUclips stranger. I gave up drinking the year my daughter was born, I've been sober for more than a decade so the comment I made two years ago was about how my alcoholic father and her mother's parenting affected us, and how we as parents didn't repeat the mistakes our parents made. A lot of my wounds healed when my father passed, because he couldn't hurt anyone else and his hurting ended.
Jason Pritchard
I’m glad things have been getting better. Thank you
I am so lucky to have my mother....she literally has been so strong for us and it's only because of her that me and my brother know what healthy relationships look like.....i adore her so much
My mom is an alcoholic, and I don’t want to go far into details, but Christ this hurts so much. I related to this video so precisely. I’m 15, and have been going through this (since I can remember) since I was 7. I wish everyone the best who is going through this. You’re not alone 💛
I know this is an old comment, but you’re definitely not alone. I’m 23 and have a strained relationship with my dad because of this. It hurts to think this was normal and then one day I woke up and realized it wasn’t normal. I hope you’re in a better place now
yup related to all of them. my dad is not the greatest role model but he's doing his best trying to provide us all we need. it's hard for him and he destresses by drinking. i get scared whenever he's near but I still love him.
Janett Guerrero exactly how i use to feel.
Janett Guerrero drinking does not solve any problems. See if maybe he'll go for a walk around the block instead of drinking to deal with stress.
Recovering Soul believe me, I've tried to give him alternatives but he doesn't stick through with something. My 15 yr old brother already started drugs and drinking and he still doesn't think he influenced something.
Me too...
I am growing up with alcoholic parents and I'm 14, I have been yelled at for my mother has yelled at me my whole life but my dad doesn't get angry because he takes drugs but the drugs can only do so much, my parents are divorced so that has also affected me and the way I think, I now suffer from depression, anxiety and other stress related problems, and I was also born with a heart mermer which is when my heart can skip a beat almost every minute or less, and it has slowly gotten worse up to the point where I can't full sprent for 20 seconds without almost having a heart attack.
I have noticed that I am slowly becoming a father figure to my youngest sister and my cousin that is a year older then me looks up too me aswell, everything is going out of control and I don't know what to do so I started to stay home from school and I haven't been there in five months now, and if I don't go I will be taken away and forced to put on a smile and act like everything is alright.
Going back to the topic of the video, my father has came put to my house when I was feeling depressed to take me to school but I wouldn't go or even answer because I didn't have enough strength to try, but when I didn't say anything my father lashed out and said I'm worthless and pathetic along with no one loves me and no one ever will.
I stand my ground and let no one in because I don't think I can take anymore punches because I have had two mental breakdowns. One was when I was alone, and one was when rage took over and I screamed at my mother for an hour about how I cut myself and how everyone puts me down and how horrible she makes me feel.
I have only been on this planet for 14 years and I feel that I have been through more then most people go through in there whole lives.
Because of my anxiety and depression I have left my home for countless time in any kind of weather, I have been freezing in a blizzard in the middle of a field and I have been almost having a heat stroke from the sun baking my skin, I no matter what wouldn't go back til I could finally feel some what happy again.
I have stood up to a group of kids for bullying one of my old friends and I knocked a few of them on there asses before walking away from them so I didn't kill one of them, I helped my friend not because he was close to me, But because I know how it feels to be put down and beaten.
If I can help anyone from feeling and going through pain you can bet your ass I'm gonna try with all I got because I got nothing to live for.
I have grown up poor for my whole life, at the age two my father left for a bit and by age 3 my family had to move in with my grandmother and grandfather because people kicked us out of are home.
My grandfather was the best man I knew, and the only father I knew til cancer took him away from my family when I was 4. I looked up too him because he was the only one who took every wrong situation and made me feel happy when I felt weak. I remember his face and how he used to push me on my swing and id tell him to push me higher every single time.
That is what keeps me on this world, the time when I was happy and I didn't have a care in the world, a time when people I loved picked me up and show me that I could be strong, that I could make every wrong into a right.
I guess I forgot how to along the way.
I'm crying writing this and I hope you can't understand my pain, because no one should have to feel this.
I just wanted everyone in my family to be happy. Now my older sister moved in with my dad. She always knew how to cheer me up when I was sad. In the past year I have had to comfort her and make her feel wanted because she was on the verge of suicide. I helped her feel wanted again and now she fell in love with one of my friends.
I have only tried to help but I don't have enough strength to help myself, "I can hold the whole worlds problems, but I can't hold my own."
Have a good day.
I am so sorry for what you lived but then i'd like to tell you that you've become a wonderful and strong person,
all the things you have been throught, all the people you helped, I hope you'll never forget what you did for these persons.
I totally feel you on the last sentence, you might help people a lot, but
don't forget that before anyone you need to help yourself and love yourself, it can be anything
buying yourself some snacks, ice cream, a drink, doing shopping or buying a game that you really wanted !
I don't know anything about having a normal life but I guess that's what people do ? I don't have anything to hold on to so I'm holding on supercial things that makes me happy because you know that the world needs more helpful people like you that still feel sympathy over others.
Treating yourself might being seen as useless and you might feel like you don't deserve it but you do, everyone does, it's essential to learn how to love yourself when nobody does or when you feel so lonely, it might look like a stupid thing but it's not !
I have low key abusive parents too, and since i'm asian and raised with the asian mentality it doesn't help at all,
I really feel worthless and unable to do anything because i'm being compared to anyone who is better than me (plus, I'm heading to art class so I guess it's even worse haha) but we have friends right ? I'm so lucky to have wonderful friends to keep me happy and I hope it's the same for you too. Don't feel lonely and if you feel bad then call a friend to talk with
I don't know much about you, we're strangers and i'll never be able to feel you as much as you do,
but i really hope the best for you because from what i red you really are a brave person and i'm thanking you for not giving up and supporting others, also thank you for sharing your story !
Please create a lot of memories with your friends and live your life fully because we only live once and even if life is really difficult and it will be even more difficult in the future, let's do our best and have the best time we can spend until it's the end !
Wishing all the love for you and all the people here having a hard time, from France ! ♥
Please know that you have so much to live for and things will get better (I know that is SO cliche but it is a cliche because it is true). You have so much life ahead of you and so many more experiences to be had, such as becoming an adult and being able to create your own life. This is such a short period of your life, which I never understood when I was struggling around your age but now that I am coming to the end of my teenage years I am astonished at how quickly they really went by, even if at the time it felt like forever. You have SO MANY life milestones yet to reach. Your situation is really difficult but I can tell just by reading your story that you are a truly good person. What your dad was saying about no one loving you is SO so far from the truth (and I am sure he did not mean it) - you are loved whether or not you can see it. Everything your parents say and do reflect themselves and their own issues - not you.
You are not the first to go through this by any means, and that may be comforting for you to know that so many other people have struggled (myself included) but come out the other side stronger and able to bring happiness back into the picture. Remember you have so much more to live for and although it seems like this phase will go on forever at the moment, believe me when I say it won't. I'm on your team and know you can get through this. I really recommend either reaching out to a school counselor or a teacher at school, or if you are not at school at the moment you can see a GP or contact someone at "Beyondblue". You can also call lifeline (13 11 14 if you are in Australia or you can look it up if you are in a different country) if you need. Sending all my support and wishes your way xxx
Thanks for all the words of encouragement, it really means a lot and today I feel better then other days so thanks for that it gave me an extra boost to get through the day.
...*hugs you* don't give up...stay determined^-^...there are people who do care about you...it takes a lot of strength...but there is beauty in this world...heh...it just takes every ounce of virtues you possess.^-^
I can just feel all the pain in each sentence, you are from the one's who deserve the most, to live, in this word, because you are the one who felt pain, and wasn't left with hate, but with will to help others, not go through the overwhelming pain you are experiencing every day, you are the one who will change the world by being the change, thank you for sharing your story.
You are stronger than most in your age, be proud of yourself, you gave me hope. Even if I'm just a weird comment, I do believe in you.
I survived two abusive parents, one was an alcoholic and the other I have no clue if they were on drugs or possibly drinking every night.
It is okay to let them go! Don't let anyone try to guilt you into thinking you can't write them out of your life because "X person doesn't have their parent, they died". Just because someone has it worse off than you doesn't make your problems less valid!!!
Don't feel obligated to "fix" them or find them help, because ultimately it is their choice to find help (this goes with all types of abusive, mental disorder, or addicted people). They may say "they can't find the help on their own anymore", but I'm telling you it will eventually come to that point in their lives where they have to make a choice to live or die.
If you've gotten this far into my giant novel of a comment, I hope this helps you and thank you for listening! You don't have to end up like your parents, that I can promise you. We still have free will, regardless of epigenetics.
I’m going to be 25 this August and I never realized just how bad things were in out family. My Grandfather was an abusive alcoholic, and my Dad’s right there behind him. I’m stuck in this house taking care of my Grandma (who’s addicted to opioids) while my Mom’s in the hospital and when Dad comes home from work and has days off…I get nervous as hell.
I’m at a crossroads where my life is already a quarter of the way over, yet I have no direction or identity in who I am or what I want to be. I’ve always wanted to pursue my passion for music, but felt like nobody would be willing to listen, and considering it’s “not a real job,” then I’ve essentially caged myself in fear and anger, but always wanting to feel…cared about.
I don’t consider myself an attention-seeker, I just…need validation to feel better. If I do something wrong, I blame myself. When someone else is in pain, I blame myself. My self-doubt, self-hatred, and fear of conflict from living with an alcoholic family hurts more than anything I’ve ever felt in my life. And the worst part is, I’ve told my father what he’s done to me while he’s drunk, and he still continues to drink and take his anger out on me anyways.
I don’t know, maybe I’m just putting this here because I don’t know where else to go or who else to talk to, but if you’ve read this far, then I can already say that you’ve shown more love and care for a stranger than I could have ever asked for, and that means a lot to me.
I can feel you (:
Don’t stop believing in yourself. If your heart tells you to pursue your passion for music then go for it. The heart never lies. It will get better.❤
I know how you feel ...I'm so sorry ...one feels abandoned and alone ...I detest drunkards with a passion !
The pain is deep! My heart shatters into thousands of pieces every single day. I smile... I smile a lot but i am not happy... I wish I was never born in such a family! No one literally no one is good in our family.... My grandparents r just greed for money... It's feels bad to say such a thing about elders specially grandparents but the truth is always bitter... My father is an alcoholic... He drinks and drinks a lot...He never thinks about his children for a single sec. All he wishes is to have alcohol! My only hope is my mom... She loves me a lot... I really feel so bad about her...her entire life has been spoiled living with such a shameful man...
My life and future now depends on thy mercy God... Hope you give me the strength to face all my problems!
My dad is an alcoholic, my mom moved out of his house with me and my siblings when i was in 7th grade, thank god. But i can still deeply relate to all of these
Lesbian Amazon Sister well she has been wanting to leave for years but my dad is very manipulative and every time they would get into fights they would somehow make up and convince her to stay but that year they have been fighting a lot more and she finally decided to make a move and rent out an apartment. Another reason why i dont think we moved out earlier is because she has four children (including myself) and that would me hard for a single mother and it would be better for us to live in a house instead of moving to an small apartment but she made the right chose to move
@@gxbbyca Must say u were fortunate that you mother moved out with you n your sibblings... But there r people like me you can't move out because my mom won't be able to provide for me as a single mother! 🙂
Same but we’ve moved back, prob not a great choice
Do you have any advice for parents who are narcissistic or believe that they're always in the right even when they are wrong? My mother has that nasty habit of believing she's always right
We are putting one together on what narcissist fears so you can use the points against them :)
Psych2Go Could be dangerous, especially for a child to challenge a parent like that. some of those people are capable of murder.
Huh that's my mom + the video above. Imagine that combo. Not only drunk but also can't talk her out of anything. She is always right. And if she isn't then she is passive aggressive and threatening.
@@CyanideOwl You are not my Brother are you? No but seriously, it seems ours moms are pretty similar. I educated myself so hard to the point that I am able to completely destroy my mums errors logically and she still thinks she is right (or she just repeated what i explained and thinks it was her idea)
and then there is the fucking alcohol that ives her confidence... gosh i hate her
My mom is alcoholic and narcissistic
I identified myself with this video from the beginning to the end. Everything describes me. I've been conscious about all but it's very hard to try to modify your behaviour, thoughts and feelings after more than 20 years of been exposed to this. It's a milestone. Thanks for making this video!
I'm 17 and my father is an alcoholic. All I've seen is rage, physical violence, verbal abuse and constant fights and arguments between my mother and father. It's like I've never get to know what a family is. Growing up in a dysfunctional family, i developed some toxic traits of both of them. I fear that one day I'll become like my mother or my father. I go through anxiety, panic attacks and emotional instability everyday. I just don't know what happens with me. I always have trouble expressing my feelings and emotions, I'm always running from somewhere or from someone. I don't have friends, i don't know how to build relationships, i don't know how to form friendships. I always find it hard to socialize, the fear and insecurity never let me feel stable. Fighting for my mental health everyday, i hope that I left this house someday, hopefully soon and start a new life where I don't hear the noises of someone beaten up, and screaming my name. And the slamming doors, the breaking things and the high pitch voices. I hope you understood this Papa.
Imagine not being able to go and do anything like after school events. And when you did it was because a friend’s parent offered to drive you THERE and BACK. Because I’m not sure about everyone else- but I was never allowed to go to things after school because my parents would drink and couldn’t drive me places. I feel like I missed out on so many cool opportunities.
same. my mom wasn’t an alcoholic, but she worked until 6 or 7 so a friends parent ALWAYS had to drive me if i wanted to go
It make me want to cry so bad seeing how relatable it is.
My story goes back when I was 4. My dad was never a good father. He would always go drink and during those time me and my family would always have to move house to house. And during those years were torture. Seeing my mom and dad fight and sometimes see my dad try to hurt my mom honestly traumatize me even to this day. I would cry out to my dad telling him "no papa please stop" and he would continue. It was the same every where we go. Until I was seven that when it all change, that day my dad was very drunk and he and my mom were fighting, then he physical punch her in her head and made her bleed and that when we called the cops and he was arrest. I felt useless when I seen my mom with the bruises. Now my father isn't in my life. We had to move on from that life and move forward. Now I'm too insecure, shy and I do terrible in school. I'm 14 year old about to be 15 in a month. But this is my story and I hope everyone else who took their time to read have a good life and don't end up like my mom and dad was but I'm glad my mom work hard for me and my siblings. (Girl btw) thank you 👧🏻
Goodness me, sending love to sis!!!🤗❤
it makes me feel sad relating to this as much as i do
I can't even face my dad anymore he gets angry of simple things,he masks his real personality infront of our relatives,he often goes out to get alcohol,and fights my mother,Please if you are reading this,you deserve better,you don't deserve what happened.
I don't know what to do anymore with my dad. He just went out to buy alchohol and I can't stop stressing about how he'll turn out tonight 🙂
Same here bro it’s sucks so much I have no one to go to no one to trust not even my own girl
Like I trust her but like the vid said it’s hard to let out everything
One thing about these alcoholic parents are that they never accept their fault and always puts their blame on others......
Like my father is a massive drunkard, remains drunk from morning to night 24 by 7 and puts blame on by mom that my mom is responsible for his condition
Interesting video, I actually fit into the vast majority of these, whats interesting is my parents weren't alcoholics, they were just constantly conflicting, said they were staying together for 'the sake of the kids. All we wanted was to have them seperate.
It's generally about toxic parents, not just alcoholics.
my dad has a beer in his hand every single minute of the day and as soon as he finishes one, he opens up another one, if there are none left, he goes to the store immediately, even if it’s late at night... the only way he can be nice to others (including my mom, my brother and myself) is by being drunk, when he’s not drunk he won’t stop saying bad words to everyone, blaming his problems on everyone, screaming at everyone, saying mean things... and i hate the fact that the only times i can have a good relationship with him and not fight is when he’s drunk
Same
AS Topo exactly my family
this is so relatable😣
Same :(
Same..
My dad is is an alchoholic, and it is really hard for me, because he is always leaving to go drink with his friends... it feels like he seems happier with his friends than with his own family... he also embarrasses me in front of his friends too, and it makes me feel so worthless :(
Sometimes i want my dad to just run away for good. He's tried so many times...I can't handle being abandoned...this is really on point. I remember one instant how I finally made a close friend, and EVERY FUCKING DAY, i would get so paranoid that he would abandon me...like it was really bad. It wasn't like "oh he wont be my friend," I thought he secretly hated me and manipulated me. Gosh...i sometimes cry when my friends just leave without telling me anything (even small things like going to the restroom)
I have an alcoholic mom, she loves me and my brother to death! But it still hurts when she’s drunk. She takes it all out at my dad when he didn’t do anything! The amount of times I’ve fallen asleep with tears in my eyes.
Wow this hit home😟 I love your channel, thank you for this video. My mom has been an alcoholic basically my whole life. She has problems that she would rather drown with alcohol. When she is drinking she turns into someone else, it's like shes gone whenever she starts drinking. Alcoholism/ addiction runs on both sides of my family. I believe that since I grew up around this type of behavior that i have to be better, even if I'm doing a great job I still feel like it's not good enough. I no longer live with my parents but I have a younger brother and sister that have to deal with her drunkself almost everyday. It makes me feel guilty that I moved out but I know it's not my responsibility to take care of my siblings. I just want her to actually want to become sober for herself and for us.
My dad was alcholic , he died when I was 10 . Those memories still haunt me even after 9 years
I’m 13 and I don’t want my dad to pass away. My nana lost her husband (my dads dad) and I don’t want her to lose her son. She will then only have I think her daughter and some more family members left. I have anxiety and it’s hard coping with it cause of my dad drinking. I’m sorry for your loss.
Same but when i was 11 he passed away and the trauma is getting to me. Self hatred, highly insecure, pushing away the people i love, struggle opening up about my issues, and lastly all these mentioned issues affecting my relationship
My dad was an abusive drunk and drug user. I thought that's how all families were until I lived with a friend and her family for 2 months. Nobody yelled or were under the influence of anything, they were just so nice to each other. I was 18 when I realized my whole childhood was toxic. I hope to never be put in that environment ever again.
My Dad sobered up but for the first 12 years it was A LOT and this video really helped me and I could relate to it so much.
My dad never hit me. But on occasions in which I would interact with him when he was drunk, he would sometimes blurt out things like "You're Good-for-nothing" or "Your sister is better than you". And I knew he meant it. My dad's the type to not talk much and not yell unless something really pissed him off. He and my mother would find everytime he came home drunk, which was mind you, everyday. It sometimes would get to the point where he would threaten to kill himself or sometimes try to jump off the balcony. I used to put on my headphones and close the door while they fought, still able to hear them from the other room while my headphones blasted music at full volume. My sister used to sought them out but now that she left for uni, I have to step in. Which scares me, because when I look at him I don't see my father and I can't hide anymore. I try my best to stop him from yelling any further or doing anything with the rising fear of him hitting me, or even worse, doing something to himself. I try my best to study hard so I can get out of here, get my mother out of this toxic marriage and also do something for my father. For future parents, please, don't be a monster for your kids.
It hurts seeing how I am not the only one that has gone through this as a child and the children commenting how they are experiencing it now. Even as an adult I still have to deal with my alcoholic father since I live with my parents rn. Every night he drowns himself in alcohol for years and it disgusts me. It also makes him have anger issues and being in a toxic environment with your parents arguing every day doesn’t help. It has definitely ruined our relationship and has made it hard for me to make friends, etc. My fiancé has definitely helped me and I am so glad I am not with someone like my father. In a few more months I’ll be married to the love of my life and away from this toxic, endless loop of alcoholism😔 I never want my future children to go through what I have.
Here’s my story it’s not that tragic
My dad was an alcoholic but he wasn’t an abusive one ( I don’t remember him ever being abusive towards me.) The alcohol really made him weak (he slept a lot) which can be followed by him not eating. He always preferred drinking instead of eating. He wasn’t abusive he actually went to work everyday even though he was drunk he still went to work. He tried his best to take care of me my mom even said he spoiled me when I was younger. I recently found out it was due to his grandpa passing away because he was a father figure to him. His problem got so bad he went to the hospital and we found out he had pneumonia ( I didn’t know what it was because at the time I was 10.) he was in the hospital for 2 month until they sent him to a further one. The same week he arrived we found out he passed away. His death did affect me a bit but it really hasn’t hit me yet (if that makes sense) idk if it’s because I was 10 but now I just turned 14 it’s going to be 4 years since he’s gone and it’s starting to hit a little more.
Thank you for reading my story.
I'm so sorry for your lost. Sending love for you.
love❤️, I am so sorry. is there an ala teen, in your city? praying for you.hugs
I just watched this video after I had a fight with one of my parents that's an alcoholic, and this video further proves how much that they need help and how because of their actions my personality has been altered. I cried watching this because it's making me realize everything now and why I am the way I am and why I'm also brought toward friends who are depressed and suicidal and why I'm always there to help. I'm always targeted and yelled and for every little thing I do wrong and I feel like I can never catch a break. I always do try my best but most of the time it's never enough.
Savanna Long as long as you know you tried your best it should be enough for you. an alcoholic is always going to try to deflect blame. try to realize just how special a person you are. I know that it sounds like a cliche but it will get better!
Thanks for this❤
I see my mom in so many of those points it makes me wanna cry and hug her while telling that I love her ...
I didnt live with my dad but he would visit sometimes because my mom and dad pretty much split up when I was a little kid, so I never really had a full time dad, it was just my mom and brothers. I will never forget when I called him to ask if he was going to attend my high school graduation but he was drunk for a couple of days and told me he wasnt going to be able to and he started crying. I still remember that vividly. I wish I would have been able to help him. RIP Dad.
i feel so sorry for your loss😭. My dad and mom also split. And my dad visit sometimes only like your's. I also have a little sister. My dad had another wife and bcoz of this my mom became alcoholic. She is becoming weak day by day. She drinks so much. its been around 12 years since i had been trying to help her. But it has become much worse.
@@stranger2978 I'm sorry to hear that. Wishing you and your family the best ❤️
It's kinda nice to know that I'm not alone.
Lucija S no you are not alone. a lot of us have gone through the same thing. I wish you well.
my dad is an alcoholic, he drinks every single day without fail and it has gotten earlier and earlier into the day. sometimes even starting before afternoon- he gets drunk everyday and takes all his drunken emotion out on the rest of my family. he refuses to sleep, and often argues and shouts at us while we are trying to sleep. i’m afraid of who he is when he is drunk. i only ever like him when he’s sober, it’s like a burst of hope, but it doesn’t last long because soon enough he picks up a lager. the worst thing though, is when he’s drunk around my friends. stumbling into my room with all my friends there and completely humiliating me. in that moment, i feel overwhelmingly ashamed to be related to such an irresponsible and unstable mess of a father. he needs help just as much as i do.
i relate to this a little to much and i am so sorry you are going through this i really hope things get better for you please reach out if you ever need anything i would love to talk to you, just stay calm and strong and you can get through this i am so proud of you!
I grew up being very confused, and up until this point, I still feel lost. My mom in particular was the type the took in and helped our childhood friends who were going through family home troubles... while my parents completely emotionally neglecting their own children (me and my siblings). We endured a lot of emotional and verbal abuse, and for some of us, it got physical too. My dad was never around for us physically or emotionally. He was a hard worker (and I truly admire that part) but he was never really there for us in any other way (his parents were physically abusive and emotionally distant while he was growing up) when he was home, he would be on the computer watching his shows or youtube drinking, and when he wasn't doing that he was off doing his own thing or fighting with my mom in front of us or yelling at us. I never wanted my mom to leave the house because even though my mother was emotionally unstable, I felt safer with her. I didn't know if my dad would hurt us or yell at us and she couldn't be there just in case... My mother always ignored our family issues making us to believe that everything was normal, going on to help other people, leaving us children very confused. When I went to friends houses and got out into the real world, I realized that it was so, so different. I was so jealous of the parents I saw who kissed and hugged and loved on their children and each other, and respected each other. I didn't know why as a child but now I see it made me wish so so bad that I had that. I always had (and still do) have such high levels of anxiety, panic attacks and ptsd from any yelling or slamming doors, even throwing furniture and items. I still get triggered. I have tried for so long to heal from the past traumas, and now even in my early 20s all I can do is watch my family slip away... my younger siblings will still call me from time to time crying because they found my mom drinking and driving, or because my father is in a rage and disappears. And the worst part has always been that I tried to fix it, I tried to be the adult even as a child, I tried to glue everything back together... The pain and confusion growing up in a dysfunctional family follows you forever... and even when you heal mostly, you will never fully heal.
Please never feel like you are alone in this.
We can heal together.
I'm around 13 and it's always been hard to relate to other people and their families. My dad was actually normally a good parent, but I think my mom's addiction was hard on him as well as the rest of us. My mom always said she felt bad about drinking or taking pills, but I think her saying that was what helped form the mindset 'if she really loved us, she would quit'. It's hard to put this all in past tense, since it's all happening right here, right now. Hearing other people's stories both make me feel better and worse.
In any case, thank you for sharing everyone (and thanks for reading this as well).
I am 17 years old, I’ll be 18 in August. I have anxiety and depression. I grew up with a Dad just like this. Constant criticism, lots of drinking, no affection or playfulness from my dad. I had and still have no emotional connection with my dad. Being a teen, i only remember small things about being a kid. 1.) i cried every night in my room because i thought my dad didn’t love me 2.) he constantly screamed at me and called me names. My mom is manipulative and passive agreed and so i recently moved out of her house into my dad and stepmoms house hoping it would be better and also that i could get close with my dad somehow. My mom smokes pot, i do not view her as a parent, she never cooked dinner for me as a kid, she was always at work so i was left home alone a lot. We have been homeless once and we lived with random men who didn’t treat me or my mom right. So i didn’t really have a stable home either. I moved in with my dad about a year ago, and I’ve never felt worse. I’ve been in therapy for maybe 6 months, first it was to help me get out of an abusive relationship with an ex, but now it’s focused onto my family life and me. it’s helped a lot but some days are still really really hard. My dad sometimes gets drunk on the weekends and starts fights at 3:00 am around there. He makes our stepmom do all the work while he sleeps on the couch, drinks a lot, and works. So going through all this and more that i haven’t mentioned, i feel all these on a really really deep level. It’s like I’m just trying to get by everyday, constantly walking on egg shells around my dad, staying in my room trying to get better on my own. My dad AND my step mom make me feel like i need to toughen up and get over my emotions since i am a hypersensitive person. In this house i feel as if i am not allowed to be me or have my own voice. I’m just praying for the day that i can save up enough money and find a full time job and move the hell out of this place. I am tired of asking for love when i shouldn’t have to. And what sucks is my parents make me feel like I’m the one that needs to change for them... i just don’t understand... it’s starting to make me feel crazy for feeling this way, and I’m starting to believe their comments about me. The worst part is i do not think i could ever in my life tell them how i feel in fear of completely losing the only family i have. And fear that i won’t be heard by them, and only shammed. It’s a daily battle.
"Adult-children"
Shiloh_Ihaveacat9558 Same
Which is me :/ gonna turn 19 soon but I still feel like I'm 5
They mean you're the child of a parent but an adult as this is once they've grown up. Not an adult who is not mentally grown up.
I feel like i am more of an adult than my parents are sometimes. I take on a lot of their responsibilities as an adult/parent.
both of my parents are kids in my eyes. Im 23 now but i had solutions to their stupid problems when I was like 13-14
my mom used to be an alcoholic. And now I'm jumpy and I'm scared of loud noises and I constantly feel like something bad is going to happen.. And I don't even trust my closest friend and cousin now.. but at least she got the help that she needed :3 But I'm starting to get better too though
We recently established that my mother is an alcoholic.I always knew she had an unhealthy relationship with alcohol but didn’t realise how bad it was till I turned 13.We always argue whenever she drinks.She makes me feel like I am the one at fault and that I am exaggerating.I thought that we were so close that we would never lie to eachother.She kept on lying to me about her alcoholism.It makes me feel sad because she is the one I love the most in this world.If someone I love this bad hurts me the most,isn’t there something wrong?Is it my fault for not trying hard enough to help her stop drinking?I can’t help but cry..All I can do is watch unless she decides to get help.
A few of these points have completely hit the nail on the head for me. After 21 years of dealing with an alcoholic mother who verbally emotionally and somewhat physically abused and neglected me as child has been something else for me. I've only recently started coming to terms within the last year that I was abused and neglected for all these years and it continues into my adulthood but identifying it is just the start. Realizing that shutting yourself in a room playing a video games to ignore everything, not being socialized, having to beg for clothes, being told your overweight, being horrified and breaking down because you or someone else is having an argument and blamed for not being a caretaker to your grandparents is insanely abusive, manipulative and toxic.
I hope everyone else who's watched this and related to it can find help. It's out there and everyone deserves to have access to it. And please be kind to yourself. That is the biggest thing i'm learning to work on as I go through this journey.
My alcoholic father was emotionally and verbally abusive. This led me to think abusive behavior was normal. And when I got into m first relationship at 16, I saw abusive behavior and thought “this is familiar” “this is how dad acts, so it must be love”….
I wis I could go back and tell my younger self so many things. I’m almost 20 now, and I’m still dealing with the trauma from my dad and an abusive relationship. And I was diagnosed with PTSD 2 years ago.
Life fucking sucks
So much of this I understand, if my child ever touches alcohol I’ll tell him the path it’ll lead down and how I suffered from it.
I love my father, but he smokes and drinks too much. He doesn't get mad he usually just sits and talks nonsense. He hasn't punished me nor anyone by hitting but he does annoy my mother a lot. If my mother goes to the store he gets angry at her my mother but my father thinks she goes out a lot when she doesn't. I just hope things change because we still need him.
im in a very similar situation. my dad is an alcoholic but he doesnt really get physically abusive (luckily) however he constantly gets angry at my mother when she comes home excited from her job (shes a nanny for kids and she loves it so so much and ofc its not the most exciting thing to hear about it but my siblings and i always listen) and i feel terrible because i can tell it makes her sad. its also difficult for me because my dads father killed himself from alcoholism and im scared he’ll do the same if i confront him about it. it feels like my hands are tied and im constantly walking on egg shells with him
I can relate to this so much. My mom was an alcholic and so was my step dad. My step dad got clean and he is now completely alcohol free but our relationship is strained because I don't trust him, my mom lost the battle and gave up and commited suicide years ago. She was in and out of hospital, she'd get clean, be fine for a month and then go right back to drinking. My step dad was a loud alcoholic whose favourite game was to corner me and yell in my face, to this day I flinch when someone comes behind me and if you corner me and yell at me I am capable of punching you and I also have trust issues, especially towards any man or father figure I've met in my life. I tend to push people away.
My mom was the best mom ever when she was sober, she'd listen, she'd talk with me, I could come to her with anything I wanted and she'd always have time to talk. When she was drunk she'd go to sleep and lock me out, yell at me, we'd fight on a nearly daily basis (and it wasn't "No mom I don't want to clean my room because I am busy" type of fighting, it was: "I want my mother to be alive to see me graduate and through major events in my life" types of fighting, she'd nearly burn down the house a few times because she'd leave food on a stove, lock me out and go to sleep and the scariest memory for me is seeing her stumble over the short railing we had on the balcony one time because the fence was being remodeled, she fell from the first floor (around a meter and a half height) and landed on her car leaving a dent in it, she got up and walked off as if nothing happened with bloody hands and a few scratches here and there but that was my scaries moment because I thought that she was going to die. I was around 10 I believe and I've had to deal with that since I was about 5, she moved in with my step dad but I lived with my grandparents and had to stay with her during holidays and vacations and it was a living nightmare especially because my grandparents knew what was up but they were basically like: "Eh she is your mother you have to live with her for a few days deal with it it's not our problem", they kept ignoring the problem until it was too late though.
Im so sorry 💔😢
Wauw damn this is horrible and it must has have been traumatized. I'm so sorry☹️💔 How are you doing now?
@@theiswithin3649 I am working on my life =) Doing better, got a better job, working on getting therapy and moving out on my own =)
Hey you! Yeah you reading this! Take a moment to read this!
I am so frickin proud of you! Maybe you don’t know me but I am in your family. In a family of people who struggle and still stand strong. You decided to do things that you didn’t feel like doing today. Maybe this doesn’t seem like much but we did it while our parents were drinking. Maybe they weren’t being abusive to you or yelling, maybe they were chill. But you know that voice people get when they are drunk? God, it annoys us so much but we are still strong. I am so frickin proud of you. Cry on my shoulder, blow your snot in me. I DONT CARE! WE are family ❤️
This tore me apart. Now that my alcooholic dad is not here (he died as result of liver necrosis/kidney failure/heart attack, due the high alcohol consumption while having diabetes), I start to understand how many situations i've been in my entire life and how it all started. My dad was the best when he was sober, but most of times, I couldn't trust in him, bc in many ways he let me down. Now, i'm more aware of who I am and how to deal with all my issues and not repeat the same mistakes.
Hi I'm from India.
I'm experiencing every symptom mentioned in this video. I don't know what a healthy family is like.
I'm the School Mascot. The guy who makes everyone laugh with my comedic attitude. But no one knows how broken I am on the inside.
My heart seeks for emotional bonding with someone, but I don't want to get close with anyone becoz of my trust issues ( also cuz my 1st attempt at love failed). I TRUST NO ONE. I want to experience love and emotional intimacy but at the same time my mind tells me to run away from them. I feel like I'm being ripped apart. I don't know if I can ever recover and have a family on my own.
My only resort is Christ...
Things will get better. It's difficult when your own parents make your life terrible. I'm going through the same thing. Hope it gets better someday. ❤️
I'm also from India. I relate to you in every aspect.
Same here... Even I had trust issues due to which I miserable failed at my first relationship. And now it seems pointless to try again... Specially when at times I start blaming and hating myself! I am scared of getting emotionally attached to anyone
However with time I have learn to love myself, to have faith in myself and be optimistic.... Even if the past, present or the future is not good, in the end nothing really matters! Made of dust shall return to dust :)
i will never in my life drink. and ruin my kids lives. it’s painful and hurts everyone around you. please seek help- i beg of parents who suffer from alcoholism, seek family. this isn’t a real life.
I will never drink or smoke when I grow up. I always am thankful for my dad who equally does not drink or smoke, if I only had influence from my mom, things could've been worse but my dad is here and I'm grateful. My mom drinks so much and it makes me so p/ssed. I feel like one day I'm gonna just f//king snap. My life was already ruined the moment my parents divorced
@@olderalt.4066 me too. My mom is an alcoholic, parents divorced, good father, and ya im pissed too abt my mom. ngl I think I already snapped
Growing up I’ve always hated every holiday bc my parents drank and when we got home they always Ed argued and were very toxic,I always cry myself to sleep with no comfort.I only have 1 sister and she’s older but she never comforts me so I am very anti-social and never open up to anyone
Thank you! I have ALL 7 of the traits all of them. It was a bad time in my life and still affects me decades later. BUT BUT BUT I have forgiven and released my Mom because she had a dysfunctional childhood and an alcoholic Mom. She passed. And now I think about her sober times and the wonderful person she was. I continue to work on me. It is all I can do. Thanks for the video.
I am currently working and it been 2 months, my father is an alcoholic, he becomes crazy at night time. Harming his relationships with close ones. I sometimes get tensed due to his behaviour. And i think I'll never come back when I go back to my work location. It feels really bad when your closer ones are like this. This world is a strange place, people say if we leave our family then we may get depressed due to no family support and currently I'm feeling sad and tensed by his behaviour of creating an issue for nothing in the night and then getting normal in the morning.
It just hurts how other family's are happy joyfully when my mom and step dad are just not "(
I do relate with parts of this video myself but I have not had alcoholic parents. I think it is because most of my family have never been there for me emotionally and my older brother even emotionally strains my (other) brother and I.
I've always tried to tell myself that everything's okay and that I'm being too dramatic...but like you just totally described my life, and that's a pretty scary thing to realize.
Yep. I always tell myself 'people are going through worse" but I also always try to remember that what I'm going through is just as bad.
@@itsimanii7478 Exactly. I'm just tired of pretending that everything is fine and I'm tired of feeling guilty for that.
Adéla Koblihová omg yes! I relate so much!
@@itsimanii7478 It's nice to know I'm not alone
Adéla Koblihová me too! :) And I’m being so honest I love my mom I love her to death and she stresses out a lot but one thing is when she gets drunk and I’m upset at her and I don’t hug her back and she says “you don’t love me anymore” “you hate me” which is obviously not true and she manipulates me.
My mom passes out drunk every night, Never happy with here life and wants to live through me. Its been awhile since I cried this much. Thank you
To this day and i live alone ..i always got to have my bedroom door locked and if I hear a sound in the night while I’m sleeping I’ll automatically wake up with a racing heart thinking I’m back in my childhood home with that parent. I would never wish this on anyone.
I have alchoholic parents but I never had to deal with abuse, I'm sorry you went through whatever you did and I hope you find the help you deserve
Ah so this is why I feel guilty about everything and am scared of people who are stern
Im 12 but I’ve been through so much, I know not to be anything like my mom when I’m older, she smokes, drinks, and I’m pretty sure cheats on my dad, but she tries to hide smoking but I found out a couple years ago. I know I am an independent person and I’m emotionless, I go to a therapist and I don’t have trust with my mom. I know not to be like her and to try to stay positive. Some think 12 is young to know all I know, but I know it’s life. But my friends have drifted off, and now they make fun of me while I have one or two friends to hang out with but only at school.
If you are going through something bad or sad, IT WILL GET BETTER, think about what choice you can make later to make it better 🥰
Sara Payne wow, me too! My mom has gotten better though I can’t see my dad, and I go to therapy. I also used to be bullied at school. I hope things get better for you.
AngxlicAxra thank you!! I’m so happy for you 😊
Sara Payne your welcome and tysm :)
I'm 12 as well. My mom is drunk right now, and whenever I confront her about it, she just tries to manipulate me and goes like "Oh it's privileged kids time". I know I deserve the privilege for my mom not to be drunk. As I type this, my little brother is confronting her. I hope he can get through to her.
Brambleberry Vlogs lm sorry, I hope you the best
Strangely, even though my parents drink a tame amount of alcohol, I've experienced, thought, or felt every single one of the effects mentioned. It's weird, but it's also nice to know that there is an awareness of what kind of life I've lived up until now and why it's made me as I am as a person. Thank you for this. It's been an experience to watch this video and I truly enjoyed it.
Small Note: My parents are, luckily, not abusive. However, the way they are has led me to feel exactly how this video portrayed those with alcoholic parents somehow.
sorberbia as mentioned in the beginning it's not just with alcohol. Most of what was mentioned is from abusive parents in general. They tend to be fairly common with alcoholic/addicted guardians though. Though with your small note: maybe they were borderline abusive and you aren't sure they were? I dunno. It could be something completely unrelated altogether.
Tavier Thanks for clarifying. That’s a good thing to think about now.
This was ON POINT.
From physical and verbal abuse... just hit me, knock my teeth out, pull me out of bed by my hair to wake me up.... but the mental abuse has stuck with me.
Changing those characteristics is HARD.
Thank you for this. ❤
Absolutely accurate.
Another thing I’d like to add is that alcoholic parents can be reckless and selfish. They can often fuck up and expect you to clean up after them, or to help them with their issues, while you still can be a kid. That can make you feel like you have to take care of everyone else because that’s what you learned to too. It also can affect you to understand what’s normal and what’s not. How to do things correctly or not. It can hard to explain when people don’t understand since they haven’t experienced that situation. Etc. you can often feel alone and wonder why you couldn’t have a normal family life like most others do. You just want anyone to love you and want to take care of you. But you can also learn to be independent and be scared to depend on others since you weren’t able to do that with your parents. Etc.
As a daughter of an alcoholic father, I am still struggling to cope up with life🥺😖
❤❤ 😢
Same here 💔😭
Same here sis. My whole childhood was ruined due to my drunkard father.
My mother is an alcoholic. I’m still young and my family is coming apart at the seams. My father can’t take much more of this. I can’t take more of this.
Please if you have any advice for this, I beg you please tell me. I love her but she is breaking my heart.
I am in the same situation.. I love my mother and it breaks my heart to see her drunk every single day. Unfortunately, I don't have any advice. Remember that you deserve to be happy too. Take care of you and your mental health
Please know that it is not your responsibility to fix her. And it is not your fault. Even though I don't know you I am sure you are a great human being. I am sorry that I can't tell you something to make it right because I would and still wish someone would tell something like that but there is hope. It is gonna be alright.
It hurts that i can relate to this
Never knew I really had a problem till I started watching these videos and realized how much I was like the alcoholics describing themselves in videos. Really hurts that I always denied having a problem.
Every time I hear that can open... man the anxiety the memories the worry the sadness
Whenever I see my cousins I think how lucky they are to have such a good father they will never know and understand the pain
this made me think. I survived cancer twice while having half of my face amputated in the process.. a tumor destroyed my jaw and changed everything I once knew.. I decided to start my own channel to inspire others who feel ugly and not good enough for this world..I moved to Barcelona to build a new life. I want to show others that it's all about positivity and energy.. and that with the right mindset, you can overcome any mental or physical hurdle if u just learn to love yourself! positive energy trumps any physical shell! go check me out and subscribe if u want to help me reach my goal of helping others who lack self-love.. it would mean the world to me!!
My mom is a single mother and for years she's been depending on alcohol to cope. It changes her completely. She's mean and petty when she's drunk. She has never been there for me emotionally. And it feels like all the love I should be getting goes to my brothers. (I'm the only sister + the middle child) I've learned to predict my mom's moods when she drinks, and she says a lot of hurtful things to me. Ik she doesn't always mean them, bc the next day she'll try to apologize. She and I have drifted apart and her apologies don't do much anymore. We don't talk about anything and things are always tense between us. But I'm turning 18 this month so I guess we'll both be better off when I'm out.
I personally haven't dealt with having an alcoholic family. I got off lucky, my dad used to do drugs and be an alcoholic, but straightened out a year before I was born (my 2 older sisters had to deal with him for most of their childhood)
Still, I do relate to some of these topics.
give me waffles mofo my father started right after I was born so I don't even know what life without is.
As a younger child I thought everyone's parent did that.
Nowadays I started not caring about anything, in Germany, especially countryside regions like me are a gant opportunity. 13 year olds easily can get alcohol, even though it's allowed only with 18. So in my school are many students who drink so much and one of my friends is scared senseless about them. But I don't care? Why? I got used to it. It's something that shouldn't happen but it does. In our neighboring school are many smokers and people who abuse medicine. That is kind of a theme here, If you don't do something bad for your health, you don't live.
Be thankful that the world talks about this and that there is help out there for you free of charge. At least that is one thing to be thankful for. So many smart kids realizing that they need help. Very proud of you all.
Tears running down my face watching this