5 Do's and Dont's of Dealing with Other's Mental Illness
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- Опубликовано: 11 сен 2024
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With the way the news outlets and mainstream media portray mental illnesses, it is easy to see how misinformed and misguided the general public is when it comes to actual people with mental health issues. In this video, we talk about the 5 do's and don't of mental illness. Hope you enjoy!
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Happy Sunday everyone! This video is brought to you by Imogen Bowler, our magazine manager. Hope you enjoy! Also, get free copies of our digital e-book here: goo.gl/GoEpfQ
Psych2Go tysm for the video!! I have a request... lately I can’t feel anything, I think it’s emotional depletion, could you explain the topic?
Could be a case of anhedonia. Have you heard the term before? ruclips.net/video/Kmth7JPxxQ8/видео.html @D. Levakovic, thank you! You're welcome!
Doesn't your website need to have a copyright page or some sort of legal information on it? Just curious about this, as far as I've been aware of, this is standard practice IIRC.
Psych2Go Y s the Mic so shitty
the term anhedonia is somewhat accurate but not completely :l normally i would feel depressed, or extremely happy, but when i sit down and stare at a wall and think, i don't feel anything. i can't feel joy or sadness. it might have been school stress or my previous depressive episode, (that I've gotten over) but i'm really not sure.
I love tip #3. Whenever someone tells me "Oh stop worrying and crying for no reason. People out there have it much worse than you." I feel like I don't deserve to have anxiety. Like I should be happy, but I am not. Guilt creeps in like a shadow on my mind when someone tells me that it could be worse.
Well they have a point.
This is why i dont tell people, because everyone goes straight for the "it could be worse" line. I also dont tell because i cant, im scared and frankly I've gotten to a point that i dont what to fix my anxiety.
KaceJK SweetMuncher i am so sorry that happens to you...you don't deserve that.
The problem is I am the guy who's telling me that I should be happy ......
Im sorry :(
The world would be so much better if this was common knowledge
That's what this video is for :)
Yeah I wish schools would teach this too
ToastieTime Gaming yeah I wish my school taught this.
Fucking schools are dumb and shit so we can not learn this at school for all reasons
Chara Lucifer
My school only glanced over it on a worksheet once.
Seeing the drawing getting all those hugs makes me really want a hug...
Minwoo Park virtual hug :D \__ |⊙ω⊙| __/
*hugs you*^-^
I would like to hug.... opposite sex hug i mean :(
Digital hug \_(^ ^)_/
😃
And don't snap "do you need to go to the mental hospital?" when they cry or overreact to a situation. That will definitely cause them to bottle up.
My parents do that every single time. They called me insane with the twirling finger thing, literally. I'm so sick of it I want to scream sometimes
@@sierraa.bryant9322 same, man. My parents say that I'm making up all my problems for attention, and that I should just get over them.
Everything Bagel ask them this “will u start telling my corpse that his problems are made up?” Then walk away. I’d rather have parents worry to death instead of thinking you’re faking everything.
Flaros Overfield Idc if this comment is as old as a newborn baby, I’m bored as hell. You’re right, you should seek professional help if you’re mentally ill. I think they mean that people, or more specifically parents, shouldn’t use it as a threat, because a lot of teens still think that mental hospitals are for psychopaths. Plus hospitals are kinda scary imo.
Yep my “friend” did that and said *she* was scared of *me*
Especially pay attention to rule 3. My dad didnt understand this and told me about how he saw other kids be forced to starve because their parents use the money to buy weed instead, and that i have no reason to be upset, but it just made me feel awful. Like if im upset about "little things" like this, then telling me that it coupd be worse invalidates my opinion, and now i find it hard to talk about my depression with him
You can talk in the comment 💓
ProtoSushi 6 good. U can’t open up to ignorant morons like him.
Karm Asutor u can’t open up to the ignoramus that is society.
Right! Like i get it, people have it worse, but it doesn't mean what I'm going through is nothing. And neither is what you're going through everyone has valid problems
YOU are so right! I hate eating, I wanted to starve myself to become skinnier, but instead of doing something about my problem, my dad told me that there are millions of children who are starving and that I shouldn’t be so spoiled. Of course, instead of making me feel “better” it just made me feel even worse about myself
Tip #3 and #4 really hit home. Felt that way many times.
Yep, #3 is where my mom does the don'ts in that. #4 is where the speech therapy teacher does the other don'ts.
Same here.
Try being an introvert with Anxiety and Depresion, opening up is much harder
elderwolf123 Gaming Yeah I'm exaclty the same
elderwolf123 Gaming Same here
I have all of those plus social anxiety it can be bad
elderwolf123 Gaming v
Lllppp
you're not alone
I feel terrible because I have done some of these to my friend unintentionally hurting them
Jacob and how would you know you were hurting them? Don't feel bad, it's normal to make those mistakes. I think it would make you feel better if you tell him/her that you've learned that it was wrong, maybe he/she didn't know it was wrong either and can learn too.
PsychedelicSkull Well they told me I hurt them and now our friendship is hanging by a thread because she says needs space but that doesn't give me the opportunity to correct all the misunderstanding
Wow, then it's more complicated than I thought. I said that maybe she didn't know because sometimes people get hurt but they think it's their fault instead of the person that told them something hurtful, but if she actually knows, idk... It would still be nice to tell her I think, but when you are better with each other, of course...
Good luck, I hope you both feel better soon.
Jacob but you didn't know it was wrong ...
Me 2 😕
THIS IS SO IMPORTANT. Tbh this is how my parents act about my illnesses. I really want to show them this but I’m scared >.>
ρ α η т α visit a doctor and tell him to speak with your mom
:)
Phil Dodi I mean, I already see doctors. They know about my conditions. Also it’s mostly my dad.
ρ α η т α
Same. I think they will respond like 'Since when do you have a 'mental illness'' and 'We've always been there for you but you never opened up!'...
i'm sorry you have to deal with this. i know what it's like to have parents that don't want to understand. i stopped trying to reach out after a while. . .it was easier for me too hide my feelings and deal with it myself (admittedly not in the best way) than to constantly be told i'm just over-reacting or making a fuss over nothing. i hope you find someone who will listen, understand and really be there for you ❤🧡💛💚💙💜🖤
Very valuable information.
Glad you found it helpful! Do you have any questions?
Tip #6 We are just as baffled by our condition as you are, so you don't have to treat us with pity, just treat us with respect and decency.
Very good addition! All the best
Agree
True
I love knowing how you guys care. 💟
The credit goes to the team, really. They are good examples of what psych2go can become.
Awe ikr
Olivia Beakman but... we dont
@@bruhmoment13
They didn't direct shit to you
But what if you're like me who literally has no friends and a family that encourages your suicidal thoughts/self harming behavior?
then bless your heart my child. bless your heart.
Well I could be your friend ! (Wait does it sound creepy)
Robocop and Gimli Sorry, thats what im going to do, i guess that was a suggestion, but he/she can find other ways.
Robocop and Gimli Thanks for supporting me its been rough latley, im worthless, i dont have friends, im stupid, im unlovable and everyone hates me.
Robocop and Gimli No, i dont have any social media besides twitter and discord
Here for the "Don'ts"
Same.
S am e he re f riendo
-same-
David Castro smh same
My parents don't believe I have depression and they do every single don't on this list to the point where I pretty much want to kill myself. They don't even bother to research. They think they know everything... 😢😢😧
Lavender Purple Girl
Be careful with asking for a diagnose! I could give you a whole list of negative results or write a story about myself, but the most important thing being, once you've been diagnosed, it won't go away (easily).
I hope you'll be alright and wish the best! Parents are parents, they think they're close to you, but little do they know. Enjoy the good things in life. And remember, the person writing this will care about you. 🙂
Lavender Purple Girl I can relate, but I managed to get out of my depression by talking to a professional, who of course didn’t do any of the don’ts. If you haven’t contacted one yet I suggest you do, because I felt extremely lonely not being able to talk to someone who just simply listened and understood, plus loneliness is the worst feeling I have ever experienced, that alone made me want to kill myself. I literally had nobody to talk to at the time. I was so frustrated with my family that they only ever talk about rainbows and sunshine but I’ve come to accept it, well, almost... it still stings sometimes, but overall I can live with it now.
*hugs you*...I know how that feels...I used to just be depressed at home and school. school is better...but home is not...my parents wanders why I don't open up...it is that same reason like yours...but...maybe...just maybe things will get better...I know you are at your breaking point...but don't give up...I believe in you^-^...
As Elise Tanis said, I think best solution is talking to a therapist, tell your parents to go there after that. I believe that people who has mental illnesses have many great talents but they just cant make it happen, once you can get over it, Im pretty sure you would have many great achievements and live happily ever after.
Nguyễn Thuận it can be a little more complicated than that especially depending on their personality. They will probably tell you that you know nothing. That or what if the family can't even afford a therapist what do they do then?
well this explains a lot of my behavior towards the people around me.
Why am i crying while watching this ? I feel like finally someone understand me
thegreyvanilla we hope this video could help :)
Crying of relieve maybe
At least 1.5 billion people on earth suffer from depression. You're never alone 😊
If anyone could make Russian or German subtitles to this I could show it to my mom. She's been trying to help me with my mental health but has been doing all the don'ts on this list. Constantly. I've been crying a lot and I want her to understand...
Hey sweetheart! I just made subtitles for this video in german. I hope they help! Please always keep in mind, you are not alone and your mother is trying to help you even though she isn't doing it in a helpful way. I am sure she will be able to support you better after she's watched the video. I hope you have a good day!
Cora16 Thank you so, so much for this. I am sure it will help her understand me a little bit more.
Your not alone person , but I believe we all have forms of " mental illness " I lust ex's I have ADHD , showing signs of OCD among other s also S.A.D syndrome okay ? We all love each other I especially love you ! I also have really bad anxiety because I was abused physically, emotionally among other things just do your best okay ? Your a wonderful person! Just keep your head up high and give your all okay !
Cora16 thank you so much. You are a good person. God bless you
timestamps:
0:46 tip #1. dont allow your negative emotions to be visible
1:25 tip #2. do show them that you still care
1:53 tip #3. dont tell or remind them that it could be worse
2:48 tip #4. dont try to relate how they feel to your own experiences, that is unless you have the same illness of course
3:33 tip #5. do try and research their illness
I feel bad. When I saw the scars I had a panic attack and cried. This caused them to be so concerned
Don't tell me to get over it. That pisses me off.
Get over it.
@Karm Asutor so do you have any idea how to be helpful??
Yeach me too.We both have a mental disorder that we...Just start to like the illneses,we dont want to get over it.For others,its really bad,but for us...Its both.It makes us feel good,like, because you have depression.But lets say,you feeling guilty for ashaming a friend,bcos you have depression,but bcos of that another disorder,you feel good,like becouse you want an anti social disorder that you want to develop.They confuse the brain,like for me.This disorder is rare,I guess,but its becoming more common.Sorry I forgot the name.
@@Laffey99 no u get over it
@@Laffey99 but what was the point in commenting this
Tip 7: If I personally tell you with no one else around, that means I trust you. Don’t go telling other people about their mental illness. You may think it is helpful, but it may make their problem worse.
Yup
I think the bigger thing is that people come to me for help or to talk to, and even though I deal with some serious mental health I try to use my experiences and what helped me to get through a situation but I’d never tell them I’d understand because every mental illness is extremely diverse. There’s a fine line between talking about your own illness and experiences vs. your own illness and coping skills that genuinely helped you yk. I love the conversations this channel brings. If I offended you or may sound awful I’d love to be told that it isn’t okay so I can better help my friends and even myself, thank you
Point #3 hit so close to home for me, that I actually started to cry. I'm going to show this to my loved ones.
Thank you for this.
We hope it helps, all the best
Verry good crying relieves recognizing put things in place and you show them so they can understand good job
this is very helpful, my boyfriend has OCD and I want to help him as much as possible and this will help me accomplish that
Alien Skunk OCD sucks
I’m glad he has your support! Ocd is really stigmatised! It comes in all forms from
ROCD - Relationship OC
HOCD- thinking you’re gay
Then to probably the worst POCD
Really ocd is anything it can get your reaction from, I ended up getting committed due factory’s of ocd and other things. ROCD really made me lose not only my girlfriend of almost 3 years but my best friend too..all the reassurance I asked her, and all the intrusive thoughts we buried.
my dad and my sister has ocd but can’t help
Fallen Angels I hate myself for having OCD it's such a pain in the ass.
On behalf of all of us who have O.C.D. Thank you I always want assistance with some issues that I have throughout the day, but whenever I ask for help my family tend to get annoyed with me for the one thing that I ask of them. Like it's such a burden on them and I know that they don't understand, but with them getting annoyed with me it just makes me feel like I shouldn't ask them to help me, like I'm worse off than I think and I just get angry in general because it's ONE THING I'm asking from them out of the hundreds of compulsions that I get daily. I wish they could try living with my brain for one day and see how much better they feel about their own life after that, much better I think. It's exhausting and just makes you feel bad about yourself when everyone is staring at you with judging eyes not even trying to hide it and then that just gets you more and more depressed which causes more and more compulsions to start up. I'm pretty reclusive now and just sit in my room where I know everything is clean and this is where I feel the safest, away from everyone's judgment, but at least I'm not as depressed anymore and have even been able to work through some of my compulsions alone. My psychiatrist wants to put me on medication to help, but my O.C.D. makes me view this as weakness that i can't even control my own mind not to mention I am also bipolar and as well as a little schizophrenic. I'm not sure if you are going to read this, but if you do I would recommend that if you have been together with your boyfriend and are both comfortable with each other don't say you understand how he feels because trust me, YOU DON'T. Instead plan a day for him to explain everything going through his mind for the entire day and everything that bugs him throughout the day (I wish someone would do this for me so they can see why I'm so worn down all of the time) just don't judge him negatively for anything that he says have a day of total honesty and by the end you will better understand why he does some of the things he does its a chemical imbalance that just makes you feel things. If you want to understand the general feeling of O.C.D. (do this now) imagine your favorite food think of the taste think of the texture, the smell the best one you ever had... NOW STOP you can't can you now imagine a sense of anxiety on top of that (like life or death anxiety) that's how one part of O.C.D. feels of course there are many different branches of it and they all feel different from one another anyways I wish you all the best and if you try this I hope it only helps bring you two that much closer together good luck trying to understand what goes on inside our heads because we certainly don't.
All the best
~R3APER
I especially agree about tip #3. When people tell me about how much worse that other people's lives are, I feel like I'm the worst person in the world. Instead of thinking "Wow I am awesome and my life could be way worse!" I think "I shouldn't feel bad when others have it worse. I'm just a selfish brat who doesn't deserve what she has. I'm a terrible person."
Same here. Although, I am curious as to how far these thoughts went in your case.
Fluffystuff 500 nah, my thought on this is “my problems shouldn’t be invalidated because a kid in Africa is dying.
I loved this video theres no 'loved one' in my life, everyone leaves 😭😭 My friends, my girlfriend..
Edit: thank you for your support guys! I have found boyfriend and my life became a bit better :,3
FluF kins i feel the same way, but I guess that if they leave you they weren’t worth your time anyway
TheSQUALLERS Immer wieder gut that is one side to look at and i think partially you are right. it is important to self-reflect and think of others. however, we must be reminded that we are enough the way we are. and if our so-called 'loved ones' cannot see it the same way, then they don't truly love us.
TheSQUALLERS Immer wieder gut before you judge a man, walk two moons in their moccasins
Well, instead of looking at how many people left you, how about looking at the people who stayed with you? Besides, you deserve better than friends who doesn't treat you as one back. It's ok to feel sad, but don't let that feeling overcome you. Just have some fun in life. You only live once.
Well I've never got to experience either (well I do have friends but we don't talk much though besides from 1-2. Sadly I had 3 leave over the past 5 years, only talking to one of them recently) so hopefully that makes you feel a little better, maybe?
For some of us, the damage done by someone who is mentally ill is beyond repair and dealing with them 24-7, can be exhaustive. Sometimes, (not all of the time), when you try to establish boundaries, (Because YOUR well being is being compromised and you are in self preservation mode) with someone who has mental health issues may not work, depending on their illness. Sometimes the pain and the hurt caused by someone is so great and occurs on a daily basis, that the person who is on the receiving end of the abuse MUST remove themselves from the equation. No one should be FORCED to have a relationship with someone who is psychotic, abusive, refuses to see a "legitimate psychiatrist or psychologist", and/or is non-compliant with their medication. Sorry, this is my opinion, and the author of this video may not like it. It all depends on the individual, the correct diagnosis, and the circumstances surrounding the situation.
I wish my ex boyfriend would try anything like this to help me.. But I never feel more lonely with someone who act like my mental illness is not real.
I try to not. But I'm pretty sure if he would take it serious I would still be with him now. It was so toxic in the end that I could not do this anymore.. And now I feel still so lonely
I relate to this completely. My ex used to make light of it (making fun of me) by minimizing my anxiety as a personality weakness or overall lack of virtue. Even saying I was possessed by demons. Yeah we’re not together. But I have slowly forgiven him as I cannot carry any more bitterness.
About a month ago I started panicking over a project while my OCD was acting up (in multiple ways). A girl in my group didn’t understand what was going on so I had to explain what OCD was. Then she said “why don’t you have an emotional support dog.” I was shooketh
Dogs are better then drugs get a little one they will always love u regardless
Peace
Thank you for tip 1. I needed to hear it. Honestly sometimes I react selfishly, and I feel so disgusting after. Now my girlfriend is in a mental hospital and all I can do is regret how Ive reacted and feel like its my fault
How is she doing?
Why does everyone act like I chose to be like this?
They say I just have to relax and ignore it. They say that the others have worst problems. They say that I will never be able to live my life, cause I'm scared of everything.
Wanna know what? I know that, and it makes me feel a horrible person
Tip #1 should be ajusted a bit. Of course you are allowed to show you emotions, its all about the degree of emotion shown.
Fe. It´s ok to cry if what you´re told makes you sad, as long as you dont start to throw a crying fit while someone is opening up to you.
You´re always allowed to show your emotions, positive and negative just be considerate in such situation. (Yelling fe. may be how you feel like, but won´t make the situation better)
Thank you. I felt like tip #1 should've been clarified a bit more cause it could be a bit misleading.
Gonna write a long paragraph as always as this video is mega useful.
Starting with how good of a job the narrator did on explaining all the do's and don'ts. I felt like this video went more in-depth on tips than others, which I liked. These can really help out people, even though I think with a majority of subscribers who came here to learn more about themselves/want to relate, the audience for who this video is actually meant won't be achieved, unfortunely.
Oh yea, I'm not sure why the title says 'Mental Illness'. This video can be way more generalised. I'm shy, which is not an illness to me, but these tips would help nonetheless. I don't know how to put it in different words though. Maybe 'How to help people with their 'Personal Issues''? Anyway, point is, this video can help more people than just those with a mental illness.
A couple of weeks ago I talked to a girl whose friend was sad as his friend got cancer and can't be cured. She wants to help him, but he doesn't really open up she said. So I always look from my perspective, what I would need, and give advise, but always hate to put stress on myself rather than the other person. After this video I feel kind of guilty too. I wish I could help people without always writing a long ass paragraph from my own perspective. Arrr 😣
Hi Kevin: From what I can see, you don't have anything to feel guilty about. What I hear is someone w/ a kind heart expressing themselves w/ clarity & meaning. It seems to me that the only time we should be very careful to keep the focus on the other person is if they're in crisis, or clearly need for someone to simply listen. I tend to be wordy & rambling - it's good to be aware of that, but honestly, the goal is not to be totally selfless, but to find a balance between your needs & the needs of others. It seems that you use writing as a way to think things out, get to a place of understanding. Compassion has to start w/ "How would I feel if that were me?" - we have no other way to start the process of understanding others.
@@greenbird777 wow. Thank you both for your thoughts. I love how both were kind and in a meaningful way just truly trying to understand. Great ideas here, i agree we all have our own way of processing information, understanding it, and in all that wanting to add to the helping and understanding. 🤗 kindness grounds understanding
Very ACCURATE and it’s probably why I don’t open up to most people when it comes to Depression
Me too. Well, I guess I open up normally to noone but myself
If only the people around me knew about this
I know it can be hard, especially when people around you aren't as understanding as they should be, or simply don't know how to help... But luckily, maybe by showing them this video they can learn what not to say and how best to help. It's worth a try!
Psych2Go ik but there’s still such taboo about mental illness, i don’t want them to see me in a stereotypical way. even if I explain things to them, they will think so anyway until they experience something like it
Knew what please tell i can't guess
That's funny. My dad has done all of the don'ts 🙂 and no research has been done
same 😣🙄
A. Same
A. Same lol! Freakin boomers have no clue
Another one could be to not treat the person like they are their mental illness
Of course. That's a great point. Maybe we can do a follow up article or video on how to act around people with mental health issues?
My parents were exactly like this, caring and understanding, exceptionally towards my illness, and it's comforting to know that somebody is watching this to learn how to deal with someone who's going through something that isn't exactly 'good'. It really does matter how the people you love and treat you, and if they care and offer help, it makes the situation a little more bearable.
Now i realize the many mistakes that i have made with someone i love who was a mental illness. Hope i can make it better now. Thank u for this information, i really appreciate it.
I regret opening up to my friends that i've known for years and 'trusted' too well about my depression and anxiety. Almost everyone promised to always be with me and never leave me. But sadly, nobody is actually walking their talk. And some even showed their true colors. After I met my therapist, i've decided to move on and leave them before they even have the chance to hurt me even more, coz i'm done. I'm done with them. I deserve me time and to learn how to love myself after years and neverending years of hatred towards me. Maybe I am opening up little by little with my family, i'm breaking down my own wall that i've built over the years. But I can't helo feeling that maybe i'm digging an underground tunnel that no one will ever know. Apparently, I still haven't learn how to NOT keep my emotions and feelings to myself. I'm just basically, broken.
So basically I did a thing on my Instagram which was like, "tell me any grudges against me before the decade ends". A friend of mine confessed. We had a deep talk and were in mutually good terms. Finally she told me about the stuff she was going through, so did I. She stated that she had family problems, so she loved being in school, but now she has some issues in school too and she doesn't know what to do. Even I suffer from anxiety, mild depression and mental health issues and my mother is a psycologist so I have quite some idea on how to comfort people. I just feel our problems are so different and on different magnitudes but I still feel connected to her because of it. Idk about myself but I need to make her feel better and I feel like I am bound to after all she has told me so I just need suggestions and help on how to make her feel safe and comforted.
My parents seriously just talk about their own stories, and when I said I t wasn't helpful, my mom got so mad. *Sigh*
Also, understand and remember that it’s an illness they’re going through. It’s not something they can easily control by will. Like a physical illness, it needs time, dedication, and proper support for it to be handled and managed.
I've been dealing with ocd since 8 years now. I didn't really get mental help all this while because of poor knowledge about it. But after all these years I rushed to my college counselor as I was getting into a depressive state. Finally, my treatment started but I'm having hard time getting my family members know what I'm actually going through. Sometimes I just don't feel like getting out of bed and doing my chores but they don't get it. They feel I'm just being lazy.
Things have been more tough for me especially after covid and lockdown. But I'm still trying. I know it's tough but we'll have to keep going.
Don't lose hope guys. Things will get better. Just don't give up 🙂
..I tried laying it down slowly. I was struggling with depression, so I told my mom that I was stressed, and I would like to talk to my old therapist. And guess what. She laughed. She told me that I'm just worrying too much because I'm distracted. I tried pretending like it was fine, but I broke and cried. That's when she _finally_ realizes something's wrong. _Always_ take an attempt at explaining things seriously. Some people really needs it.
Tip #6 which is VERY important: Do not ever put your own mental health behind theirs. Do not make them fake promises (promises that you can't actually hold), tell them false stuff to make them feel better and stuff like that. Do not invest yourself in their issues more than you are able to. It can cause them to become dependant, which is terrible for both people. And they can feel betrayed and let down if you suddenly snap because you can't handle it anymore. Stay. Honest.
This comes from a person who has been on both sides and can tell it is hell to live.
This is when I'm happy that both of my parents are psychologists, because they can probably sense when I'm finding it really hard better than a lot other people, and it's really gratifying to hear that.
This video almost made me cry.. because these are things I wish my family & friends knew to help me with my anxiety & depression... I often end up not saying anything when I have an “anxious” day or a “down” day because they tend to do all the “don’t” things & I end up feeling very alone & guilty.. this video says all the things I’ve tried to say... I’m going to share it as much as I can! Thank you so much!! 🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽
Rant
I'm so tired of being everyone of my friends therapists they keep refusing my help then come begging for advice and the cycle repeats, one drags my other friends into the loophole, but I'm here because I'm concerned about another friend, I must not help myself untill I help everyone else
Thanks for listening I been meaning to rant but idk where
Sometimes i feel like my friends dont really understand, i know they are trying to help. But they dont understand that saying "Get over with it. Just ignore it. Stop working so hard. Why dont you just love yourself more? Why are you not listening to me??? Just do what i say!" Is making it feel worse for me because i cant rebutal what they say because i dont wanna hurt their genuine help by saying "I am hurt by what you say."
So i can only say "Its not that easy as you say..." and they will just say "Of course its not easy because you are not even listening and constant going against what i am telling you!"
I feel terribly in pain hearing this. And am kinda questioning myself if i am the bad one all this while....
No, it's their fault for not being as understanding. If they really cared they would've researched about your illness and learned that they shouldn't have said those things. Maybe send them this video or other videos that can help them understand
Tip #3 i agree on mostly. Whenever i try to open up to certain people, they tell me about other people around the world. That makes me feel guilty. Like i should just force my optimistic side out. Like i should suddenly feel better because others are going through worse. I know that others feel worse, but I feel bad too. What people don’t realize is that you can’t tear others down by saying stuff like that, even with good intentions. It usually makes them feel worse about themselves and....
Well, let’s just say that it gets to your head.
I’m sorry if this sounds repetitive, but it’s an important topic.
tip #2 is REALLY important to me. i always feel horrible because people don’t show me that they care about me.
For me, it's worse when my mom starts going on about how she now has two kids in therapy. "How did I go wrong as a parent?" It just makes me feel infinitely worse. I feel like I just want to stop existing, because I can't seem to just fix myself on my own.
I've been in therapy for around a year. I started when I was in a better mood, but I started to go lower over time. I'm struggling quite a lot against a pretty deep depression. I'm barely taking care of myself.
Add to that, trying to put energy into a job, and dealing with my mom's increasing anxiety and depression. I'm so tired. I can't seem to get much more than 4-6 hours of sleep each night. As soon as I wake up, my brain won't let me go back to sleep. My therapist switched to the children's division, so I need to get a new therapist.
Honestly, I don't feel like getting a new therapist. Especially since my mom keeps bemoaning how she has two of her kids in therapy. I'm just so tired of dealing with this crappy world. Everything takes so much energy, then add on the shirt that society piles on.
Sorry for the verbal vomit, I just needed to get it out.
This is very helpful. Even though I have a whole BA in Psychology, I needed this reminder. when a loved one is going through this, it's tempting to take their reactions personally or feel annoyed / impatient when they are spiralling. I'm going to do better moving forward
this is so true! once again great video! keep up the great work!
Thank you so much for your support! :)
I have a friend who talks about her depression a lot and she’s very negative and it’s hard to talk to her when she’s constantly reminding me about her negative feelings when I don’t ever mention my feelings; I don’t want to spread negativity on her and make it worse. It’s also hard when she says stuff like “how are you so happy all the time” or other things when I just always act happy and mentally healthy for her. So this video was helpful and I hope I can help deal with helping her feel better
Everyone should take note of tip 3
I have a brother who is mentally ill. We live apart atm and I miss him a lot. But somehow I am afraid to talk to him bc I might hurt his feeling. This video is important for me who still try to approach someone with unique condition.
I relate to this very much. I also watched this video in the hopes of better understanding my brother. I wish you guys well.
Its so sad when someone you love is the sweetest but severely mentally ill. And get abused so badly and their parents REALLY DO NOT CARE.....
Some people shouldn't have kids
[PHEW]
Man, I tend to rush into "talking someone's problems" out with said person and for a second I thought I did something wrong by trying to be as cold-headed as I could.
I guess I went on the principle of acting the opposite everyone else does when I talked about my problems. it seems to make these people happier to have talked them out with me.
Well I don't have much friend relationships, don't interact with others, and will unfortunately never get to at least experience a relationship with a girl so I'm a drama free person luckily. Then again some of these things are the cause of my depression, also being an Introvert with Anxiety. Everyday I'm constantly dreaming about a life where I'm happy but as we all know, most dreams never come true
At least we can enjoy the simple things in life? Like nature?
I told my mother that if she really cared about me as someone who is suffering severely from depression and anxiety that she would help me out by trying to learn about my disorder. I also told my sis but they don't listen. It's sad when you have family members around and noone cares. I remember the day I felt myself becoming distant from my mother and sister. I was in my teens and it freaked me out because I never experienced anything like that in my life but now I understand now that I'm older.
Bru - uh it’s sucks when you finally thought you can reach out and talk about your mental health, others end up making you feel worse. I wish mental illness is treated more seriously...
My family is extreamly guilty of all of these except #5. I would show them this video, but I don't think they would appreciate it.
Just to 'i love u', 'u are amazing the way u are' or 'u are special' then hug me i gonna cry my eyes out, i feel like they are just faking it even if is my mom...just i cant, those words makes me cry feel like more nothing than i already am..i know there in other parts of the world are pp suffering,being in between wars, having more problems than me and most pp....
*Everyone I've ever spoken to has done the don'ts*
Best audio quality
#1 is really hard to do. I’m human and I have feelings too. I feel terrible when I get compassion fatigue and can’t keep up my “strong one” role indefinitely.
Tip 3 is really important! I’m always told it can be worse when I try to tell people I think I might be depressed. So I just kinda gave up on trying to tell them. It wasn’t until recently where my mom found a letter I wrote that explained my feels that she started to stop doing that. I had to write my feelings down because I felt talking to people, especially in person, was going to get me nowhere and they normally interrupt with, “it could be worse.” Which like you said, made me feel extremely guilty because I live a good life compared to others but I’m still depressed. “I don’t have the right to feel this way,” is what goes through my head when I hear that. She still kinda does it but it’s a lot less now. She’s slowly understanding me a bit better and how it’s not a simple as telling me to be positive when it comes helping. She luckily learned that my brain likes to twist positivity on its head and let it pass out, making it negative again. So she’s more patient with me when helping me.
*shows video to parents*
I wish I had seen this video when it first came out! I have several close friends who struggle with mental illness, and I have been totally guilty of 3 and 4. I feel like because they loved me they wouldn’t necessarily tell me that what I was saying was bad for them. I have also been deeply frustrated by my persons, mental illness, and although I definitely avoided 1 and 2 I think the frustration came out in 3 and 4. Anyway, here’s to being better loved ones to our loved ones!
Well I failed to express these qualities to a friend of mine as I myself was suffering from a mental illness and i literally didn't have the energy to hear that person's problem as I was literally drained out
Tip 3 is a good one for anorexia and other eating disorders too. I don't have an eating disorder, but there was a point in time when I did starve myself on purpose. Instead of helping me, my family said, "Just eat your food, do you know how many people don't get to eat everyday!" and that just made me feel worse.
3:35 INTERNET EXPLORER SHOULD BE FAR IN THE BACK BECAUSE ITS SSSSSLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWW
I stayed home for quarantine with the family and I was ridiculed bc of my depression multiple times, even when I was promised that they would stop doing that but they have broken that promise multiple times. Now I feel like a fool. I sunk deeper and deeper and I no longer consider them as my family. It was so bad that I lost myself and could no longer focus on anything. On top of that they would say, “no one likes you, get out, no one likes talking to you.” I developed an anxiety of talkin to anyone, even my friends. I give them what they want, I stop talking and that makes them angry. They make excuses that I’m too sensitive, or “that’s what families do” etc etc. they don’t understand that what they’re doing is slowly killing me bc they don’t care. But they would never treat a friend like this. I just want those out there who are experiencing similar things to know that it’s ok to cut out toxic people.
“Without this, they may feel like no one cares”
Sounds familiar, like the people at my school
my parents told my whole family and even some of my friends about my anxiety/depression/PTSD and now everyone is trying to give me their unsolicited advice as if they know what I’m going through.... no one was there when the trauma happened but now that I’m struggling mentally and physically they all want to be here for me it’s really overwhelming
Too much effort... They wouldn't make so many efforts for me...everybody chose what s easier and convenient for them😶
Crys BG sadly true. Some just act like they didn’t know in the first place... but I am sure there is someone who cares, you might just not know them yet
That's because we are always expected to be the ones who change. Since we are the ones bothered and acting different than what society expects, we are to change.
I hope you eventually find someone who will be that true support. Lonely without it.
I help my friends and often tell them that I'll get them anything or do anything for them if they want it and all they have to do is tell me.
Most of my friends have mental illnesses (like Depression and disorders that make some of them hostile and dangerous people), but I also have depression. I wish people'd be here for me like I am for them. My parents try but I'm not around them enough. I just hope one of my friends will tell me that they care about me and offer help with stuff like I do for them. I don't want to ask them to say they love me, though, because if I do, they probably won't really mean it.
Now that I think about it, I have one friend who said that they loved me as a friend, but we've kinda drifted apart, I guess.
"Treat people how you want to be treated." my ass. It doesn't work.
Interesting how my ex did exactly the opposite of everything and called me a psycho every day besides knowing I had a severe depression and PTSD. Cool.
EXACTLY
Fuck your ex. I got PTSD too! Having PTSD doesn't mean we're psychos. Just people who are mentally ill just like how people can be physically ill
My family just doesn't accept that i have mental illness, they just say "it's because of puberty" or "you're just sad, be happy, you have everything". They just blame everything on me, and don't accept that they are wrong too, because they all have inflated egos. It very sad, plz help me.
Honestly tip 5 is the most Important one. When I've heard that a friend has done research on my anxiety it makes me feel absolutely amazing and cared about
I came here because I suffer from crippling anxiety and the person I love a lot is suffering from anxiety disorder and depression. it hit me hard because I grew up in a highly toxic environment that caused me a great deal of trauma. thanks mom
I feel shitty because I’ve done some of these in the past with my manic GF without knowing. But good information to know now.
Me too except its a friend of mine
I'm so glad tip #3 was included. people have constantly told me to control my emotions and "get over it" whenever I'm upset, because "there's always someone out there who's experiencing worse." such an incredibly toxic way of thinking. I just want all of you to know that anyone who has told you that in the past don't know what they're talking about. your feelings matter; just because someone may be going through a rough time does not make you at all selfish or a brat for complaining. you and your feelings are valid. never forget that.
Wish people knew these facts before making me feel worse.
My father figure matches up with most of these don'ts... He constantly says "I can relate because I feel like this sometimes as well" and that doesn't help... at all.
The one where "Don't tell them that other people have it worse" doesn't match up with anything except my thoughts. Whenever I'm feeling down I can't help but remind myself there's other people out there that have worse cases of mental illness and I shouldn't feel like I'm important...
I think the title is a bit off here. I think it should be the 4 Do's and Dont's of Dealing with Other's Mental Illness. Right now it seems like your giving advice to those who are dealing with the illness. Not their loved ones. Keep up the great work!
Thank you for pointing that out! We fixed it. :)
This video is incredible and everyone should remember this. There is one thing I’d add though, some people with depression will actually like listening to other people’s stories as a way out, a distraction from their own problems. For me, it made me feel guilty, and that I shouldn’t feel the way I did as people had it worse. But for others, like a friend of mine who I’ve been helping through their depression, it made them feel better as they didn’t have to think about their own problems.
I kinda want to meet a person with depression so I can hug them and tell them "I'm here for you!"
You are so sweet. God bless you. I had recently been diagnosed with severe depression. I have been prescribed antidepressant and awaiting call regarding my first appointment for therapy.
I wish I had someone this supportive. My family has been unsupportive and told me to snap out of it. Their words and actions are very hurtful. I have been bottling up my emotions because telling them has actually made it worse. My faith is my coping mechanism.
@@avk1927 same here
Opened up to my parents about my issues like 3 weeks ago, gotta say they did most of the don'ts, or at least my mother. She didn't speak to me for a few days at all and went back to smoking.. my dad tried to be understanding but played the "some people have it worse than you" card. A week later it seemed like they totally forgot about it. Man does it suck to have no one to turn to.
me: oh look, maybe someone will help me with this
my brain: yeah, if anyone ever care about you..
me: *cries*
YES man, YES
What about the people behind Psych2go?
There are people out there who care about you, sometimes that can be hard to remember when you're hurting. You're going to be ok :)
As a tip from the other end, a person who has been helping specifically 1 person but it has been a lot of people with mental illnesses mostly depression for over a year and a half. It is very very hard to stay calm and collected when we are trying to help and you say something we dont like or you completely shut down what we are saying to help. I see a few people saying yeah respect me but for the love of god you better be showing it back, cause from what I've seen that's not happening, you can be a lot more selfish than you realize you dont get that there is someone on the other end a person with emotions just like you just trying to help you the least you could do is try to let them. *negative emotions come out* we're human it happens dont just drop ship and leave or shut down, you're making it harder for everyone, in my case it leads to a shit ton of arguments which only made it worse. You have to remember the person trying to help is not responsible for you, they are only trying to help, dont take them for granted, dont push them away, because then they'll go away. Take some responsibility to the way you treat people, take some responsibility on your own self, because really we cant help you, its you helping yourself, we just try to make it easier. The point of my long comment is to remember we arent machines either, your problems break us, especially if its a lot, it makes us depressed too. For anyone who reads this and is the person on the recieving end, go to that friend or lover and just tell them how much you appreciate them, dont just say "i love what you do for me" and leave it, show them you care give them reassurance that things will be better, any amount of positivity regarding your mental health goes a long way for the person trying to help you.
what if your friend with mental illnesses uses you as their therapist? i feel like a bad person but i can’t deal with that. i don’t know what to do and i spend my whole time worrying that my friend might kill himself. he also always makes the impression that i’m the only one he has left, but i don’t want that responsibility, i can’t. i don’t know what to do, what if he kills himself because of me?
I've done lots of mistakes. It's why I try too Hard to relate to people, cheer them up or give "genius" advice. But most times they just need a hug or reassurance for my love.
I feel so guilty. My girlfriend has depression and I usually get angry when she talks about it. I'm already hurting her. That's why I'm here, I wanna know what's going on to a person with depression. I wanna help my girlfriend 😞
Coming from somebody with anxiety, it can actually be super hard to speak when you're feeling anxious. Even if you would love to talk about it or open up, when at you're feeling anxious sometimes you are incapable of speech. Try offering a pen and paper it a notes app on a device. That helps at least me
I'm doing this to help my brother:)
2:02 finally someone said it
That only makes the person feel like they just stupid and they shoudn't feel that way.
That mindset of "you could be worst" is horrible and will make things even worst.
"Remember, it's always good for someone with mental illness to seek medical attention and help."
No. No it's not. It's good for someone with mental illness to find medical attention and help that is actually helpful and does not leave them financially destitute. The reality is -- it frequently doesn't work out that way. I have sought help many times, and it has ALWAYS left me worse off mentally and emotionally -- once, it even left me suicidal. And when that help leaves you financially drained and in danger of homelessness or ruin, that's likely to just add to the strain of any mental illness.
I'm sorry, but I've got to call you guys out on this one. It's a nice thought, and people with mental illness should be able to seek help and be confident that it will actually be good and helpful. But that's not the reality we live in. Seeking help can do more harm than good if actual helpful help is not found -- and it seems to be very hard to find and inaccessible.
Yeah..but sometimes I think if the situation is so dangerous they just have to
@@leeguo9443 and I said nothing to the contrary. I'm not saying that people shouldn't seek help. I'm saying that “it's always good for someone with mental illness to seek medical attention and help” is not true - ALWAYS being the operative word
@@EIBrown oh, okay👍
My girlfriend was diagnosed with bipolar disorder and ever since then, all the things that have been wrong between us, I stopped talking them so much to heart. Because I know that she didn't intent ti hurt me. She just had a bad day, and she deals with her anger badly. She expresses those negative emotions a lot more and I take it all. But for her, I take it in, I am never angry, and I try to protect myself peacefully, not by yelling at her or blaming her. I try to listen, so I know what I can do better. And if I think that I didn't do anything wrong, I try to reason with her. And eventually, we both apologize and make up, when she gets her mood stabilized. She's going strong and taking pills and small steps ahead. Wish her luck, she can do this! I support and love her so so much. ❤