How To Stop Hating Yourself!

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  • Опубликовано: 5 сен 2024
  • Recently Self-Hatred or Self Loathing has a been subject a lot of you have asked about. So today, we're going over ways in which we can stop hating ourselves.
    We hear it all the time.. You just have to believe in yourself, or say some positive affirmations each day it will make you feel better. Or one that I mention frequently, you should talk more nicely to yourself because it can improve your mental health. While all of these things are true, and they can in fact help us feel better about ourselves, it can be hard to go from, you are so stupid and lazy! To...You are amazing and so good at everything!
    Cause suddenly saying positive things just isn’t going to work. Sure we can say it, but we aren’t going to believe it, so we aren’t going to keep doing it. It can feel like a waste of time and frankly, stupid! Since we know talking more kindly to ourselves is key to fighting anxiety, stress, depression, body dysmorphia and many other mental health issues, how can we change the way we talk to ourselves without feeling like a total fraud? This is where bridge statements come in! They bridge the gap between the negative and sometimes downright nasty thoughts and the positive ones. And here is how they work....
    I'm Kati Morton, a licensed therapist making Mental Health videos!
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Комментарии • 1,1 тыс.

  • @kbkoolaid1
    @kbkoolaid1 4 года назад +853

    Thank you! I've been struggling with feeling unlovable and having a low self worth. This video helps so much.

    • @emmajohnson1744
      @emmajohnson1744 4 года назад +29

      Kayla Bear oh honey I feel the same way too. Nobody loves me and I think they have a good reason not to as i am ugly and sometimes they’d say I am stupid too. Yes I admit that I am ugly but I don’t think that I am stupid in the same amount they might think. At the end of it, I know deep within that I need to love myself even though I am ugly and stupid. Because usually even ugly things and stupid ones deserve some love out of compassion with how much they have to deal with. I will love myself and create opportunities for myself even though no one did that for me.
      Please, love yourself and create good things for yourself. I love you all.❤️❤️❤️

    • @killertruth186
      @killertruth186 4 года назад +11

      I honestly had felt that was true to me as well.

    • @Katimorton
      @Katimorton  4 года назад +45

      I am so sorry you have been having such a hard time.. but I am glad the video helped!!!! xoxo

    • @kbkoolaid1
      @kbkoolaid1 4 года назад +7

      @@Katimorton thank you 💜

    • @NenaLavonne
      @NenaLavonne 4 года назад +10

      Kayla Bear 🦋 You are enough. You are lovable. You are not alone.

  • @bellaandsevy5338
    @bellaandsevy5338 4 года назад +613

    This video COULD be the start of people’s recovery, just maybe
    (Edit Holy Crap thank you I did not expect that many likes thank you)

    • @Katimorton
      @Katimorton  4 года назад +39

      It's possible ;) xoxo

  • @paleobc65
    @paleobc65 4 года назад +705

    I’m glad Kati finally took on toxic positivity

    • @valhalla1240
      @valhalla1240 4 года назад +41

      true. As an ex-anorexic, I don't think the solution is to start loving everything about your body, but to change your system of self-evaluation. Looks aren't that important. There are more aspects to your body than looks, like health, fitness etc.

    • @carolineoconnor2461
      @carolineoconnor2461 4 года назад +5

      @Hi ??? Why ???

    • @HansBjorgman
      @HansBjorgman 4 года назад +7

      @Hi Bye.

    • @racheln8563
      @racheln8563 4 года назад +8

      Yeah, that’s about as bad as being constantly told to smile.

    • @StudlyStudmuffin
      @StudlyStudmuffin 3 года назад +4

      @@valhalla1240 "looks aren't that important"... You can say that because you're not ugly.

  • @pickledoe212
    @pickledoe212 4 года назад +397

    “We have to live with the idea that our negative thoughts that could be wrong. Thoughts are not facts, they are not based in research, and they are not unbiased” wow... just wow... that hit home. 🥺🖤

    • @TheLundraAlliance
      @TheLundraAlliance 4 года назад +5

      Laci Johnson Facts seem hard to discover at times too. This is a good quote.

    • @killertruth186
      @killertruth186 4 года назад +6

      What had me the most, is the part that not being loveable and not being happy was just a negative thought.

    • @jm-gq4oo
      @jm-gq4oo 4 года назад +1

      Then the negative actions are the product of the thought .....enough actions and U are in a dark place ....were before they were only thoughts ! Gold comment your right ! Good one !!!!!🌹

    • @Katimorton
      @Katimorton  4 года назад +6

    • @melissaharkins22
      @melissaharkins22 4 года назад +1

      I have an issue with the "not based in research" part. When I have a negative thought like, "I'll always be a horrible procrastinator" or "I'll never be consistent with exercise and be fit" it is based on history, therefore based in research. If it's how I've always been, it's a good indicator it's how I always will be. I know that's a completely unhealthy negative mindset and I don't like that it's my response to the comment but that's the mind I'm living in unfortunately. Would love feedback.

  • @genn7828
    @genn7828 4 года назад +255

    “I’m so annoying and that’s why no one likes me” “I might not actually be that annoying and unlikable”

    • @Katimorton
      @Katimorton  4 года назад +17

      Exactly!!! xoxo

    • @ProvavelmenteYasmin
      @ProvavelmenteYasmin 2 года назад +2

      @Velma Olden Them you should analise yourself, see what you're doing to annoy them, so you can see if they're indeed right and you may do slight changes to stop annoying them.

  • @rm.makes.me.smile_
    @rm.makes.me.smile_ 4 года назад +473

    Something I've found that helps me is when I think something bad I catch myself and add the word "sometimes" to it.
    For example:
    "Oh my god I'm so ugly... sometimes. Not all the time, but sometimes"
    Or
    "I make such stupid decisions...sometimes. Sometimes I make stupid decisions, but not all the time. Maybe this time I did, but maybe next time I wont"
    This may or may not work for others but it's helped me feel a lot more open to the possibility that I'm not as sucky ALL the time as I think I am.

    • @TheLundraAlliance
      @TheLundraAlliance 4 года назад +6

      RoseyRoses sometimes is good idea

    • @wax9007
      @wax9007 4 года назад +5

      Every person is distinguished by aspects of his personality, as each person has a key and a way to overcome his problems. Very good that I have done

    • @rm.makes.me.smile_
      @rm.makes.me.smile_ 4 года назад +2

      @Halberdier You're welcome! Hope its successful for you

    • @jennifer7648
      @jennifer7648 4 года назад +3

      Thank you so much!!! I know that will help me for sure😊

    • @dogslife4831
      @dogslife4831 4 года назад +2

      Love it ♥

  • @minthint269
    @minthint269 4 года назад +193

    I tried the positive affirmations but it was so stressful because I didn't believe them and it didn't feel like it was doing anything. Thank you so much for mentioning this, it takes the stress off of going from really negative to really positive.

    • @dogslife4831
      @dogslife4831 4 года назад +2

      I can already see how you succeed in my mind

    • @Katimorton
      @Katimorton  4 года назад +12

      I am so glad this was helpful!!! Yay!! xoxo

    • @QuranwithRain
      @QuranwithRain 3 года назад +1

      I agree. I just felt like I was lying to myself which made me feel worse

    • @moonwizz
      @moonwizz 2 года назад +1

      Feelings of unloved and alone.

  • @louise6119
    @louise6119 4 года назад +147

    Sometimes I feel as if I don’t deserve to be kind to myself and I don’t deserve anything that’s happy and that’s hard

    • @jellyfish5569
      @jellyfish5569 4 года назад +9

      I have that. I try and act tough but i dont want to be weak and i hate myself sm that i dont deserve any happiness in life only misery

    • @seaofsolace
      @seaofsolace 3 года назад +9

      I feel the same way. I grew up in a very unhappy home and unfortunately, happiness is out of my comfort zone. I am trying very hard to make it my new normal.

    • @user-nr9lm4ms2r
      @user-nr9lm4ms2r 2 месяца назад +2

      I'm with you there.

  • @sarahjo5570
    @sarahjo5570 4 года назад +72

    My positive affirmation for today is actually along these lines: I believe in the person I dream of becoming.

    • @dogslife4831
      @dogslife4831 4 года назад +2

      I like the idea
      You are generating hope via a positive selfimage you desire

  • @dwayneneckles
    @dwayneneckles 4 года назад +174

    This came right on time. God is trying to tell me not to give up

  • @KeifusMathews3
    @KeifusMathews3 4 года назад +194

    Self-Hatred is my main cause for my depression so happy you decided to talk about this, get some popcorn folks and enjoy the message, thanks Kati~

    • @Katimorton
      @Katimorton  4 года назад +14

      Of course!! I hope it helped!!! xoxo

    • @KeifusMathews3
      @KeifusMathews3 4 года назад +4

      @@Katimorton Everything you say has helped me and I'm trying because the women I love Tricia Roberts deserves us to make it thru the storms so Thank you from both of us!! Happy holiday's

    • @liveuser8527
      @liveuser8527 Год назад

      ​@@Katimorton but whayIF im still a pretty ugly and unattractive male?

    • @PathfinderMain0
      @PathfinderMain0 8 месяцев назад

      The main cause of my self hatred is my curse of sudden skill loss, my terrible genetics & terrible luck. Also it’s because everyone else is better than me when they don’t deserve to be better I’ve put in more time I literally should be everyones superior in every way at this point, no reason at all I shouldn’t be.
      I will not stop comparing myself until i get what i fucking want & stopping comparing myself would mean I’m settling mediocrity which is the same as giving up, why would anyone settle for mediocrity when they could be everyones superior? I sure as hell wouldn’t settle for mediocrity, i bet on that.

    • @user-eo5lr4pg6f
      @user-eo5lr4pg6f 7 месяцев назад

      Me too

  • @jennifer7648
    @jennifer7648 4 года назад +44

    I was abused by my dad every single day for 18 years, in every way except sexually just because I am a girl and not a boy like he wanted. Every day I heard from him that I was stupid, dumb, would never amount to anything. For many years now I have been struggling to regain my sense of positive self worth and self-esteem. This is the first time I have ever heard of bridge statements. Thank you tremendously for this!!!!

    • @kerryirving2949
      @kerryirving2949 4 года назад +3

      Jennifer ❤️

    • @rscott2247
      @rscott2247 Год назад +3

      Letting go of my toxic mother has been an important step in reclaiming myself. Only I can claim my identity.

    • @liveuser8527
      @liveuser8527 Год назад

      Why are you defining yourself based on the opinions of someone who clearly has problems?
      Not logical

    • @jennifer7648
      @jennifer7648 Год назад +3

      @@liveuser8527 Well, no matter how much I really don't want to, the things my own dad said made an enormous impact on me. He's my dad regardless of what he said or did, which means I had to endure it for a large part of my life. When it comes from a parent, grandparent, aunt, uncle, or someone else you are in contact with every single day, it leaves a very lasting mark on you. Due to being screamed at by him about my grades, I now have anxiety about my current school work come up when I get behind, that I never expected or knew would happen. It isn't something that will go away quickly. It takes a lot of time and healing. Possibly the rest of my life. So please don't make comments like this that are very toxic and dismissive of what a person has gone through.

    • @Pharagill
      @Pharagill Год назад +2

      @@liveuser8527 What's actually not logical is lecturing others on a topic where you are clearly ignorant.

  • @MatRoush
    @MatRoush 4 года назад +240

    "It's POSSIBLE that" Kati Morton is the greatest person on RUclips.

  • @macandcheese__
    @macandcheese__ 4 года назад +6

    "maybe i could, some time in the future, be lovable and happy" is literally the only thought that's helped me live this long.

    • @dogslife4831
      @dogslife4831 4 года назад +2

      Everybody loves Mac & Cheese

    • @_just_TK
      @_just_TK 4 года назад

      Dog's Life true story! 😹

  • @lastpidigit9
    @lastpidigit9 4 года назад +38

    girl you made me cry at work, please never stop making these videos, you are a ray of sunshine

  • @madipetrowski7712
    @madipetrowski7712 4 года назад +11

    I've had countless therapists tell me to talk kindly to myself, but I couldn't just all of a sudden start telling myself I'm amazing cuz I won't believe it. This is what I needed. More therapists need to say this.

  • @cathykley7238
    @cathykley7238 4 года назад +55

    Yep bridge statements are very effective stepping stone. Funny, my husband started me on bridge statements and we didn't even know that was a thing! Lol Now I've been able to switch over to positive statements that I almost half believe! Progress!

  • @NowUndefined
    @NowUndefined 4 года назад +12

    "I don't deserve to be loved or happy" It's like you crawled into my head to pick this one out.

    • @dogslife4831
      @dogslife4831 4 года назад

      Read Rabbi Twerski's books
      Part of being happy is being a spiritual person
      Spiritual person is someone who becomes the best he/she can be in the current situation

  • @annagajda5079
    @annagajda5079 4 года назад +34

    When it's sometimes hard for me to get up from bed and I think "I can't get up. I'm so tired and scared and paralised and I don't want to do anything" I start to think instead "You are able to move, it's possible for you to take this one leg out of bed, and then another and so on" and I focus only on this task - to get up and do anything. It's something a bit different from what you've talked about, but it's also kind of a bridge statement to the one "I want to get up and do things".

    • @dogslife4831
      @dogslife4831 4 года назад

      Try to exercise in the morning, as soon as you get up
      It will feel impossible, but its not true
      Compliment yourself for your self-discipline afterwards
      Sooner or later you will look forward to do exercises in the morning
      Exercise spikes your adrenalin and other good stuff in your body
      Evetually you will sleep easier, which will make you get up easier
      Setting you up in a postive spiral
      This technique was useful for me and has a good chance to work for you too

    • @karengallagher3608
      @karengallagher3608 3 года назад +2

      Thank you so much for sharing this. I’m feeling this exact way today

  • @luckywright7285
    @luckywright7285 4 года назад +7

    I've always found bridge statements to be extraordinarily helpful! They allow you to feel "not perfect" without everything hurting so much. Healing takes time and for some of us, is constant.

  • @csewell77
    @csewell77 4 года назад +6

    My therapist and I work on this a lot (it can be really hard to truly innately believe overly positive messages when your brain is so negative to you constantly). You hit the nail on the head that one of the hardest first hoops you have to jump through is even entertaining the possibility that the negative messages could be wrong. Thank you for all that you do Kati.

  • @DarisT-qc1fw
    @DarisT-qc1fw 2 месяца назад +2

    I came here searching for how to stop hating myself, but after watching, I realized that I don't hate myself, but I hate the circumstances that I'm in and I resent the people around me.

  • @bagelhog4967
    @bagelhog4967 4 года назад +37

    This seems like a more realistic way to combat low self worth. I will try to work on it! Thank you Kati!

    • @dogslife4831
      @dogslife4831 4 года назад +2

      Success awaits you

    • @Katimorton
      @Katimorton  4 года назад +4

      Yay!! I hope it helps :) xoxo

    • @hopegold883
      @hopegold883 4 года назад

      But the first step is becoming aware of when I use negative self-talk, which is almost constantly.
      Or maybe this is just you just make a blanket statement in the morning and evening? once you identify the put downs. Oh! Worth a try.

    • @dogslife4831
      @dogslife4831 4 года назад

      @@hopegold883
      Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy
      Book by David D. Burns
      I found this book useful

  • @OhighOSkater
    @OhighOSkater 4 года назад +23

    2 days after starting to give this a shot, I do feel like it’s helping. I could never just tell myself “I’m great” or whatever and believe it, but the bridge thoughts really do help. Thank you for making this video. I appreciate you and I hope you’re doing well

  • @storytellerhut3488
    @storytellerhut3488 4 года назад +3

    I think this is so helpful. When your inner voice is always mean and nasty we don’t believe it when we try to make it kind and nice. This has helped me in small parts of my life. I can look back now and think, “wow, I never used to be ok with this, now it isn’t so bad!” Or “Last year, I felt like such a failure I didn’t see how I was succeeding here and here.” It has to start small.
    Thank you Kati, for explaining this so well and showing us how to move out from under those icky voices in our heads!

  • @wax9007
    @wax9007 4 года назад +15

    Sometimes a person's repeated failures and the repeated shocks to which a person is exposed make him hate himself and pessimistic much of the future

    • @sirdopaminesjournal3292
      @sirdopaminesjournal3292 4 года назад +3

      True, but we have to fight against the negativity despite the pattern of negativity we've experienced in the past.

    • @dogslife4831
      @dogslife4831 4 года назад +2

      True
      Somehow we manage to overcome that and future us wins

  • @mossyvoxel
    @mossyvoxel 4 года назад +18

    I’ve been practicing this method for a while now, though I never really had a name for it. It took a while before it became a solid habit, but it’s been pretty helpful in curbing my negative thoughts

  • @picklehari9531
    @picklehari9531 4 года назад +2

    I have had narcissistic and unavailable parents. Right now, I have had started a company, founded multiple communities and yet I have failed at all of them. I know for a fact that I am just 20 years old. But these constant failures has drained me of any energy and willpower to continue. There is this voice inside somewhere that tells me , that I won’t be loved if I don’t achieve anything significant.

    • @_just_TK
      @_just_TK 4 года назад

      Hariraj K Kati has several videos that may help that I’ll link below!
      ruclips.net/video/Ze6YB1gCDYQ/видео.html
      ruclips.net/video/kLjD7wsDq3E/видео.html
      ruclips.net/video/4uDLqL3zxr4/видео.html
      ruclips.net/video/q8pAGS2VH3Q/видео.html

  • @admirbarucija2018
    @admirbarucija2018 4 года назад +51

    This is something I’ve struggle with for years and need help with, thank you so much for uploading this Kati!! I’m thankful for everything that you do ❤️🥰

    • @wax9007
      @wax9007 4 года назад +6

      Adapting to reality and contentment is the best treatment for facing life’s problems

    • @admirbarucija2018
      @admirbarucija2018 4 года назад +2

      anas That’s true, though certainly easier said than done :)

    • @wax9007
      @wax9007 4 года назад +2

      @@admirbarucija2018
      I am optimistic and do not worry about something. There is no person on the face of the earth that does not suffer from problems, but the solution is to adapt and coexist with reality.

    • @admirbarucija2018
      @admirbarucija2018 4 года назад +2

      anas I’m glad to hear you don’t tend to worry, and that your approach works for you. Everyone goes through struggles and we react to them in ways that work for us.

    • @wax9007
      @wax9007 4 года назад

      @@admirbarucija2018 I was very pleased to speak with you, I wish you a happy life
      good bye

  • @goodandgreen
    @goodandgreen 4 года назад +3

    Thank you! This really struck a chord with me, I have atypical face features and I am diagnosed morbidly obese- it’s hard to get myself to imagine that I may not be as fat or as ugly as I think I am.

  • @narutogoldylocks
    @narutogoldylocks 4 года назад +5

    Thank you so much for this. I had never heard of bridge statements, and I think they'll be very helpful for me. Saying positive affirmations always feels like I'm lying to myself, and since lying is one of the things I loath the most, I can't seem to bring myself to stick to stating positive affirmations.

  • @berry7590
    @berry7590 4 года назад +171

    What sorcery is this really!!! She’s reading our minds folks . 😂

    • @TheLundraAlliance
      @TheLundraAlliance 4 года назад

      berry lolololol

    • @ghostie7790
      @ghostie7790 4 года назад +2

      I always feel like therapists read minds. Lol I just searched this the other day bc I’ve been feeling like shit lately!

    • @dogslife4831
      @dogslife4831 4 года назад

      😀

    • @_just_TK
      @_just_TK 4 года назад

      MAGIC!!!!!

    • @Katimorton
      @Katimorton  4 года назад +8

      hahah!!! It's like I have ESP! lol!! xoxo I hope it was helpful :) xoxo

  • @AbdulazizMaiof
    @AbdulazizMaiof 4 года назад +6

    Thank you for your amazing videos.

  • @salonika101
    @salonika101 4 года назад +2

    Thumbs up for Bridge Statements ! I feel like, my mind will actually Believe them. Then I can start liking myself more.

  • @edhoover42
    @edhoover42 4 года назад +5

    Now I'm wondering why none of my therapists suggested this (as those diametrically opposed self-loving phrases do seem so hard to believe)… Thank you for bringing this up!

    • @dogslife4831
      @dogslife4831 4 года назад

      I think people that climbed the ladder themselves will know what work in practice
      Where others might only know the general theory

  • @Raz337
    @Raz337 4 года назад +2

    Ugh. I can't stop watching your videos because I keep seeing ones pop up that are relevant that I keep obsessing over. it's helpful with trying to trust my first therapist that I'm seeing.

    • @_just_TK
      @_just_TK 4 года назад

      Legend71377 so glad ur giving therapy a try!

  • @stephaniescheiderman7072
    @stephaniescheiderman7072 4 года назад +5

    Katie you always open my eyes to new perspectives I have been recovering from an ED for 2 years now and my BIGGEST struggle right now is fixing my internal dialogue I am so thankful for this video I have never heard of bridge statements before and I am going to start with them today!

  • @kerrylarmand6301
    @kerrylarmand6301 4 года назад +2

    Oh. My. Gawd. How DO you do that?!!??? This is such a hard thing to talk about....even harder when you've thought this of yourself for a VERY long time......Kati, you are so MEANT to be doing what you do....THANK YOU
    im going to try this " bridge thinking" this week.....

  • @hebaelwassef
    @hebaelwassef 4 года назад +7

    Wow a smart advice.. I always find it hard to shift 180 degrees from negative to positive and even when I do, I don't believe it and its useless statement. I have never thought of bridge statements but I think they would really help and be more believable. So thank you❤️❤️

  • @krystler7703
    @krystler7703 4 года назад +1

    This video was SO helpful! Every time I've tried positive affirmations I'll try it and immediately thing "yea, right" or "bullshit, shut up idiot" or "see that's why nobody wants to be around you" (I'm so mean to myself inside my head) but this is a great technique to try and get past the hateful voice inside my head!

  • @viviane_casella
    @viviane_casella 4 года назад +6

    That is very good! The fact of admiting new possibilities can do wonders, it's the crack that allows the light to come through and starts to crumble the false concreteness of negative core beliefs.

    • @TheLundraAlliance
      @TheLundraAlliance 4 года назад

      Viviane Venancio or maybe give light in the darkness we feel maybe hmm

    • @dogslife4831
      @dogslife4831 4 года назад

      Yes, crack that wall open let it crumble
      The light will shine bright soon

  • @TessVonKaam
    @TessVonKaam 5 месяцев назад

    @KatiMorton
    Kati! This clicked for me tonight! I’m in therapy for a lot and have a ton TON of negative thoughts, beliefs and narratives.
    What clicked is “I can say bridge statements and REALLY believe them”, which has given me a huge wave of hope. (I’ve been struggling with suicide and self harm so hope is a big deal)
    One of my bridge statements:
    I’m barely open to the possibility “I will BECOME open to the possibility ‘I will learn to handle my emotions even if the intensity does not decrease.’”
    I can say that and be 100% authentically believing what I’m saying and it’s not a negative thought. That for me is a HUGE breakthrough.
    I can’t thank you enough

  • @locke_xp
    @locke_xp 4 года назад +17

    Soon I'll be telling myself "begone, thought!"

  • @bullynator
    @bullynator 4 года назад

    Bridge statements are a very good start to begin having more compassion for yourself. The worst and hardest critic regarding your deeds and looks isn’t another person, it’s you. Remember, literally everyone has flaws and you’re not the one to expose yours. Just try to be a better version of “you” tomorrow, that’s sufficient. If you are too hard on yourself and feel unlovable you let the wrong people in your life, you’ll get exploited and abused.
    Good video!

  • @hellofriend2109
    @hellofriend2109 4 года назад +163

    Do you have advice on getting overwhelmed? I get extremely overwhelmed very quickly and often go into extreme emotional states or rage and I’m paying way too many bills for things I ruin in those states

    • @cathykley7238
      @cathykley7238 4 года назад +6

      When I was more healthy, I used to run until I calmed down. Rage, grief, overwhelmed, whatever extreme emotional state I was in. Plus some music that matched my emotional state.

    • @andrewgoodwin9385
      @andrewgoodwin9385 4 года назад +6

      You might have ADHD. I had it for years without realizing it. It's real and screws up your Life.

    • @dogslife4831
      @dogslife4831 4 года назад +3

      I knew this very well
      Good advice I read and applied:
      Your mind can only think of one thing at a time, set your mind on positive truths (Read positive books)
      Breath slowly in and out
      Give yourself commands: Be calm a relaxed for a few minutes
      Exercise until it becomes manageable
      Then attack the route problem in your thinking with counter arguments (I wont be able to 💣 I am able to do....!!!!)

    • @cathykley7238
      @cathykley7238 4 года назад +10

      @@andrewgoodwin9385 I figured out that I have/had/improved Childhood Emotional Neglect and Childhood Emotional Abuse.
      Once my emotional needs were finally being met, (People have emotional needs?? Whaaaaat? Who knew?? Lol, I sure didn't) a large amount of that subsided.
      I can now identify most of my feelings and can figure out what's going on, if you give me a day or two to think about it.

    • @killertruth186
      @killertruth186 4 года назад +4

      Sometimes I do get overwhelmed with some scenarios. But my most recent is marriage and love.

  • @Un3arth1yGalaxy4
    @Un3arth1yGalaxy4 4 года назад +1

    Ive fought the negative thoughts battle already but now I have a friend who thinks they're not worthy of love and happiness. This video came at a perfect time.

  • @ryantrue4844
    @ryantrue4844 4 года назад +3

    Great video, I've had my mums friends say they are so surprised and proud of what I've accomplished and what I've done but I'm just here thinking I'm useless and worthless and hating myself for it

    • @OhMandy079
      @OhMandy079 4 года назад +3

      Ryan True same people tell me stuff all the time this stuff and my natural reaction is ugh they are just trying to be nice..why do most of us these days feel this way I don’t understand but even tho I feel the same I’m here to tell you that you are worth a lot in this world and you are wanted here and no matter if people do hate on you there is so much more love from others we need to look more in to 💚

    • @dogslife4831
      @dogslife4831 4 года назад

      What helped me:
      Do a lot of positive things and compliment yourself
      Next time, you have evidence that you can.....
      Slow and steady process

  • @maggied3188
    @maggied3188 4 года назад +2

    "just because we have a thought over and over, doesn't make it true" that made me immediately cry. thank you for making this.

  • @somethingsomethingsomethin8366
    @somethingsomethingsomethin8366 4 года назад +5

    This is actually such an amazing video. It's all about taking small steps, but that's not so easy if you don't know where to even start.

  • @sminthian
    @sminthian 4 года назад

    I like that analogy. Thoughts are like ruts in the road:
    Positive thoughts are like summer tires. They're smooth-riding and easy to glide along with, but they're also easy to glide away from.
    Negative thoughts are like studded tires. They're safe and grind into the road and make ruts, but then it's easy to get stuck in that rut afterwards.

  • @bethany-b2pkfilms792
    @bethany-b2pkfilms792 4 года назад +14

    0:09 "wel-come!!' Idk why i always love that so much 😂

  • @untappedinkwell
    @untappedinkwell 4 года назад +1

    One of the best things that has helped me on my bad days is the concept of neutral: If you're having a tough time, or saying a lot of negative things about yourself, or it's a bad mental health day--maybe the goal isn't to get to good. Maybe the goal is to get to neutral. Bridge statements are essentially the self talk equivalent, which is really neat. I'm partial to the "I'm a person" or "I'm a person who..." ones. I think they probably come after "I may not be x"--and they go kind of like: "I'm ugly"-> "I may not be as ugly as I think"-> "I'm a person, and my appearance is only one part of me." or "I'm useless"-> "Maybe I'm not useless all the time"-> "I'm the person who feeds my pets, and that has value."

  • @theskipper34
    @theskipper34 4 года назад +7

    After having a terrible week due to being stuck in my own head, this was a great topic for me for today. Thanks Kati!

    • @Katimorton
      @Katimorton  4 года назад

      Awe I am so glad Jeff!!! xoxo

    • @dogslife4831
      @dogslife4831 4 года назад

      I also make the mistake of sometimes getting stuck in my thoughts
      Try doing more positive actions
      It helps alot for me

  • @elsietheordinary721
    @elsietheordinary721 4 года назад +2

    I’m glad I found your video. I was getting ready to go to this Christmas thing. I was putting on my makeup and realized that I literally look like a clown with my cystic acne and severe dry skin. So I went into a depression and just sat on my couch and cried because of how ugly I am now. Got on RUclips and saw your video. Now, I’m thinking to myself, “oh, it’s possible that one day I won’t be ugly.”

  • @crashkamio5819
    @crashkamio5819 4 года назад +18

    Boy this was a needed video. Especially the one about mot deserving happiness. Gonna try this! Thanks Kati, you're awesome.

  • @gracetrapani1143
    @gracetrapani1143 4 года назад +2

    i love these bridge statements, they are a lot more believable. and we can inch closer and closer to the positive stuff

  • @journeytowellness7096
    @journeytowellness7096 4 года назад +4

    This is so incredibly helpful! You absolutely nailed my self talk when it comes to just “tell yourself positive things”. Honestly, I could never get the idea out of my head that I’m just bullshitting myself and knew better.
    I have ADHD and depression and since my diagnosis and learning about the executive function problems ADHD causes, I’ve definitely been a lot less harsh on myself. One of the things that pissed me off the most was how easily I’d forget something I was JUST thinking about and used to call myself every name under the sun. I mean, how could I be so stupid to forget my coffee mug at work AGAIN!? Once I learned that working memory deficits were extremely common with ADHD, I’ve started to become more able to correct myself when I call myself an idiot as a knee-jerk reaction. I just remind myself that I’m not actually stupid, that I have a memory problem that’s going to cause me to forget things often.
    However, when it comes to parts of my depression, I have a real hard time adjusting my self talk. I’ve been working with a therapist for a bout 1.5 years now and I don’t remember him teaching me about bridge statements. Thank you so much for this!

  • @theedrecoveryproject
    @theedrecoveryproject 4 года назад +2

    Thank you for sharing these tips! ❤️

  • @osse1n
    @osse1n 4 года назад +3

    Answers to big questions lie within. We just need to gain courage to look those up.
    Accepting and understanding that we can only work with whatever we have.

    • @TheLundraAlliance
      @TheLundraAlliance 4 года назад

      O'SSÉIN - Master Your Mind With Me Maybe explain that last sentence a bit more?

    • @osse1n
      @osse1n 4 года назад +1

      @@TheLundraAlliance Dwelling on things that we cannot influence/change is insanity.
      We have to accept what we have and work with it to improve overall living situation.

  • @LoreMIpsum-vs6dx
    @LoreMIpsum-vs6dx 4 года назад +1

    Wow! This is the most powerful and helpful idea I've encountered in a LONG time. Thank you Kati!

  • @kasiam9724
    @kasiam9724 4 года назад +3

    The 4th one really hit close to home for me.. I'll write it down and put it up on a wall to start building that bridge right away! Thank you Kati! Xx

  • @michaelsharpe4217
    @michaelsharpe4217 4 года назад +1

    Extremely positive statements can also get you into trouble. Like "I am better than anyone else". I work as computer programmer and I used to say to myself "I am brilliant". I finally realized this caused problems, because I was always trying to impress people or setting unrealistic goals in terms of my career. I did some thought on how to replace the statement "I am brilliant" with something else.
    I came up with the new statement "I enjoy analyzing things and figuring things out". This was helpful because I could focus more on doing my job correctly and not trying to impress people. I found little situations where I could analyze something just for my own enjoyment or it helped me understand something that was related to my job.

    • @_just_TK
      @_just_TK 4 года назад

      Michael Sharpe so true!

  • @alajlan2012
    @alajlan2012 4 года назад +5

    In other words: give acceptance for your current version of your self, thx for your great content ❤️

  • @suzanneberger8202
    @suzanneberger8202 4 года назад +2

    Yes it can help and it does need practice! Will give it a shot thanks Kati

  • @kozofit
    @kozofit 4 года назад +9

    Nice to see you nominated for a Streamy! You truly deserve it! I appreciate you!

    • @Katimorton
      @Katimorton  4 года назад +1

      I appreciate you being here!

  • @brookerodriguez9489
    @brookerodriguez9489 4 года назад +1

    Hi Kati I just want to say thank you. My parents are currently looking for a therapist for me, and never would never even know I need help if it weren’t for you. I had so much anxiety about opening up but I started watching you and taking your advice. So thank you so much for everything ,hope you know that you basically saved me from this dark abyss I was plummeting into. Maybe because of the way you inspired me, I might get help and stop being so anxious

    • @_just_TK
      @_just_TK 4 года назад

      Brooke Rodriguez So glad your getting the help u need! Can I tweet this @ Kati on Twitter?

  • @Brandon-dk9sn
    @Brandon-dk9sn 4 года назад +4

    Love this woman. So helpful and understanding.

  • @jennamartin5913
    @jennamartin5913 4 года назад +1

    Thank you thank you thank you! Bridge statements..... yes yes yes! Anxiety and depression are nasty BUT this will really help me. Gonna try this!

  • @cagla0239
    @cagla0239 4 года назад +23

    Need this right now, thank you!! 😕💖

  • @princeofb7383
    @princeofb7383 4 года назад +2

    Katy thanks so much for explaining this balanced approach. As someone who struggles daily with depression,, addiction, overeating...I have a lot of negative self talk in my head so it was great to learn about bridge statements!

  • @marionoschelmuller1718
    @marionoschelmuller1718 4 года назад +3

    I think those are a really good thing. It feels right to me. I automatically started to use them when I started to release shame.

  • @4320Amber
    @4320Amber 4 года назад +1

    Could not wait to get off of work to watch this. This is one of my biggest struggles.

  • @AnnaG1996
    @AnnaG1996 4 года назад +3

    Katie, maybe I’m just emotional right now but you have no idea how much your psychology lessons have helped me through life. Wanting to cry thinking about the impact you’ve made. Please never leave RUclips.

    • @_just_TK
      @_just_TK 4 года назад

      Anna Gleason you got this! 👍❤️

  • @smcd6101
    @smcd6101 3 года назад +2

    This was so helpful!! 😃 I’ve struggled with depression most of my life, and I tried telling myself those positive self-affirmations but I was afraid that I would become a narcissist over time because it felt like I was pretending that I have no flaws at all. This advice is a realistic way to encourage ourselves without letting our egos get puffed up. Thank you 🙏❤️❤️❤️

  • @dontcaretochooseone
    @dontcaretochooseone 4 года назад +4

    Interesting approach. Thanks. When I feel noone wants me, I then think I probably don't like my self and the thoughts go on in more negative things like body image etc.

  • @MikeyC19836
    @MikeyC19836 4 года назад +2

    That first Bridge Statement Example you used..... EXACTLY What I needed to Hear.
    I'm using it now. Thank You! and Merry Christmas!

  • @jcat7553
    @jcat7553 4 года назад +3

    Never used or heard of bridge statements. Thank you Kati!! Will try 👍🏼

  • @alisonmercieca1465
    @alisonmercieca1465 4 года назад +1

    Wow! I live in the conditional tense because I’m loaded with low self esteem and confidence, except when I’m talking to myself, when I make very harsh definitive statements that I know to be BS, but can’t not believe (the double negative is intensional there). This gives me hope Kati. Thank you, look forward to trying

  • @habibflaha702
    @habibflaha702 4 года назад +3

    Hi kati.. Your videos on psychology
    Are my favourites
    I love your voice And the way you speak
    You are very helpful and nice person
    Thanks
    😊

  • @LucretiaPearl
    @LucretiaPearl 4 года назад +2

    Currently working on bridge statements. I thankfully don't hate myself, but sure as heck have had issues feeling pretty or more than cute. It's gotten better over the years, but it's still a conscious effort to see the beauty in myself. As always, your content is so helpful! 💕

  • @bellaandsevy5338
    @bellaandsevy5338 4 года назад +5

    Oh my god the start I love it “positive affirmations whatever”

  • @anyasilka2325
    @anyasilka2325 4 года назад +1

    Thank you very much!! Extremely helpful! Just hearing your confident and caring voice and your information helps!!! 👌🐎❣💪

  • @rachelwyatt2663
    @rachelwyatt2663 4 года назад +4

    Kati is the best!!

    • @wax9007
      @wax9007 4 года назад +1

      Yes it is very beautiful

    • @_just_TK
      @_just_TK 4 года назад +1

      Alyssa Sapp WOOT WOOT!!

  • @davidprescott3758
    @davidprescott3758 4 года назад

    “I don’t deserve to be loved or happy”. I... broke down crying reading that. Because I sometimes i really think that way. And I want it to stop. I’ve tried positive affirmations, and they are very ineffective because I don’t believe them for a second. I hope these bridge statements can help me get a good start ❤️

  • @passion76pj37
    @passion76pj37 4 года назад +3

    Thank you so much for this video it's extremely helpful.

  • @Alex-el7xr
    @Alex-el7xr 4 года назад +2

    Thank you for making this video. Ive been seeing a psychologist and an Occupational therapist for a few years for migraines and anxiety, and this is a problem ive talked with them about. Its nice that you talk about bridge statements, as its a journey, not just a flick of a switch

  • @spoofx7105
    @spoofx7105 4 года назад +8

    This seems a lot easier for me to do than just telling myself I’m pretty, smart etc. every day.

  • @bethany-b2pkfilms792
    @bethany-b2pkfilms792 4 года назад +2

    Thank you Kati. I needed this ❤️

  • @shauny8367
    @shauny8367 4 года назад +84

    Missed the “Welcome!”, you know, à la Kati 😂

    • @AxelLRX
      @AxelLRX 4 года назад

      Are you French ?

    • @shauny8367
      @shauny8367 4 года назад

      Axel Leroux No, I’m not. But I can speak a little French :)

    • @gill426
      @gill426 4 года назад

      Me too, I love it! :D

    • @Katimorton
      @Katimorton  4 года назад +13

      hahah!! It will be back.. don't worry ;) haha! xoxo

    • @AxelLRX
      @AxelLRX 4 года назад

      @@shauny8367 oh, I asked because I am

  • @eliasbrown88
    @eliasbrown88 2 года назад

    I very recently realized that self hatred was a major driving force for my anxiety and fear of social settings and cognitive distortions. And the amount of work that it is going to take to get out of this hole of self hatred is overwhelming. I realized this in a counseling session. Nearly breaking down with this realization I had to step back and laugh while I told my counselor that I just now realized, after 15 years of therapy, that I actually need to be nice to myself, which was always a recurring theme of our sessions. I was only able to see it when I had to explain why I was so concerned about other peoples reaction to my mental health and social awkwardness.

  • @kakyoinsfsb
    @kakyoinsfsb 4 года назад +9

    Kati is the most sweetest bean. Just the way she says "Welcome!" warms my heart so much. ❤

  • @els1f
    @els1f 4 года назад +1

    That last one is the ONE! 😆 That monster lives with me no matter how ridiculous I tell it that it is 👾

  • @soyyo4154
    @soyyo4154 4 года назад +3

    ThankYou so much Kati, you have such a great way of communicating complex issues in an easily understandable manner. THANK YOU.

  • @cjwells0814
    @cjwells0814 4 года назад

    This was super helpful Katie. Especially if someone is attacking verbally... I can counter with... "I'm open to the possibility that I'm not as stupid as YOU think I am, so I'm not gonna let you bring me down!"

  • @snowwhenson8066
    @snowwhenson8066 4 года назад +6

    A perfect video for the holidays! Thanks Kati I needed this!!!

  • @NenaLavonne
    @NenaLavonne 4 года назад +2

    You are enough. And you are not alone. ♥️

  • @carly_xo
    @carly_xo 4 года назад +4

    Maybe I’m not as big of a waste of space as I think I am 🤔

  • @Telenaus
    @Telenaus 4 года назад +2

    one thing i do is keep a kind of mental list ,, & a physical one of accomplishments big or small.. & i look back at both,, it helps me recognize that hey my thoughts lie a lot & that alot of the time i had just basically forgotten the accomplishments. its not a perfect system but it does help

  • @atlasz9209
    @atlasz9209 4 года назад +3

    Funny thing is that I've been doing brige statements for a LONG time without realizing it.
    Ex. 1) I would think something like "I hate my body" and then go look in the mirror at a later time and think "My body isn't that bad".
    Ex. 2) I'd see a picture or video of myself and think "Geez I'm really ugly" but later go and think "I'm not that bad looking."
    It's just really funny that I've been doing thing to improve my self-esteem without realizing it. Now I'm gonna work harder to improve it now that I know what to do.

  • @tonyarenee531
    @tonyarenee531 4 года назад

    Kati... This is a great topic ESPECIALLY for this Generation!!! I am 53 and it took me years and years to just accept who I am and be who I am.... stop the "hating" on myself that was conjured by my siblings and my Mother.... Horrible things said about me and to me Very toxic family and I just thought that's who I was..... and not loved but it took a long time to just accept myself and know I am not what they said and completely wipe them out of my life.... Which was so hard but for my mental state I had to.... and I feel for this generation because in my generation it just wasn't like this.... as much! not even close! I was bullied in school yes and it hurt but the things this generation goes through is horrid and makes me worry so much for future generations.... BE GOOD TO YOURSELF!!!! Accept Yourself!!!!!!! LOVE YOURSELF....! 😘😘😘