Funniest Clinic Duties | House M.D.
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- Опубликовано: 20 июн 2024
- Some of the best clinic duty moments from House M.D.
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This is the official RUclips channel for House M.D. Watch all of the official clips from the series, the funniest and saddest moments, and follow all of the doctor's most curious cases.
#HouseMD #IsItLupus? #Doctors
#HouseMD #HughLaurie #doctors 
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The clinic cases were always so hilarious since they rarely needed to be realistic or able to hold a plot together, and the writers were free to just make them funny.
It's easy to overestimate what people visit the doctor for. These are actually more realistic than the cases House deals with.
Honestly, I think this is the norm for what a real clinic sees in their everyday patients. I look up my problems online first then decide if I need a doctor. So the few times I go, it's for something really weird. I once had uncontrollable yawning. Morning, noon, evening, I would yawn constantly for a full week. Had plenty of sleep too. The first doctor had no idea and just blew me off. The second put some thought into it and came up with acid reflux. She thinks the acid was seeping into my lungs at night.
People ARE like this though. It's actually amazing writing.
it’s hilarious cuz half the time i can’t imagine going to the doctor’s for such small issues... but on the other hand, i’ve learned the hard way that sometimes ignoring “insignificant” symptoms lands u in the hospital, so maybe they’re onto something xD
We always need some nice comic relief during the show about mysterious and horrifying medical problems
"I love cows."
*Vicodin Intensifies*
I know right, just made me laugh. "I love cows" and House goes to talk, then decides that he really needs more drugs really quick.
"I love cows"
Pain intensifies get 5he vicadion
LOL
@-- he revealed later that his younger step mother was hitting on him while his dad was away.
Could someone explain this scene, I dont get it?
The shock House displayed on the self-circumcised man is too great.
Gave me heavy "A Bit of Fry & Laurie" vibes. 😂
It's more mutilated than circumcised. The guy used a boxcutter. Surgeons used a scapel.
@@ShadowMoon878 --- If it's on an adult, yes, it's cosmetic surgery.
On an infant, it's genital mutilation: think of how size makes a difference.
Newborn peen is tiny -- and what he's left with doesn't grow evenly.
(shudder)
poor Asian JIM if only Pam was into that
That man has a high freaking pain tolerance.
Pause at 4:38 and the look of utter shock and horror on the face of House is eternally priceless! One of Huge Laurie's finest moments of facial expression in a role ever!!!
“…huAUGH?!”
I would be too if saw someone's attempt to circumcise themselves 😂
@@elijahhays175 , exactly! The fact that House didn't really do his normal mockery and focused on getting that young man admitted and well showed his man card is irrevocable!!
"I'm wearing rumpled shirt and forgot to brush my hair this week. You've got athlete's foot in your nose. I'm ready to be judged."
*Rumpled
"Harsh toke dude."
Cunning Smile That shut him up fast.
Hahaha
@Jazzy Luminals The patient used a toenail clipper to trim his nose hair! And he chastises House for having low 'hygiene' standards in terms of appearances.
I love how that comment about cows takes him back so much he has to instantly pop a vicodin before he can say anything back.
thought the same thing.
House was like, "ah crap here we go again" XD
He's not having any of that bullshit. XD
Aries cowshit*
@@QixTheDS You know bulls are just male cows, right?
"You try talking a 73 year old out of sex...with all these male enhancements the pressure to put out's incredible! It's worse than high school!"
Omg lmao!
God I love Romana
That old lady is so frank and earnest, she had me rollin with her truth bombs and 0 filter.🤣
"I'm wearing a rumpled shirt and forgot to brush my hair, you've got athletes foot in your nose... I'm ready to be judged" God I wish I was half as good at comebacks as House is
You need a team of ghost writers.
You know people in real life don't take turns to talk, right? If you take more than three seconds you get interrupted, weird looks or a punch to the face for being a smartass
Zhake Ija most people just cry, complain and get you fired....
The most unrealistic bit is having a boss that tolerates a House
@@jimmy2k4o yup
atheltes nose lol
"We have curves. We have... flesh.."
"You have little people inside you."
*leaves*
the top of my head is killing me
ow that's not the top of my head
I love how it ends up being this massive tumor, lol
Dan Chapman OMG that’s dark
Dan Chapman ya the blood was for a pregnancy test
Jayleigh._. The tumor was benign
"I'mma get you a thesaurus"
"a what??? "
I feel bad for laughing.
to be fair, no person that hasn't gone to university would know what that is. Hell, most people in their first university years don't know what that is
@@carlosmspk I feel way smarter than I realised thank you
@lioness14 maybe it's a country thing, in Portugal it's not, by any means, a common word outside academia
@@carlosmspk really? I am in high school but I know what that is.
@@sickofseeingjustsomeguywit8168 well, do most of your colleagues know what it is? It's a weird thing for you to know, like, why would you need a thesaurus in highschool?
House’s reaction when the dude dropped his pants is flawless 😂😂😂
I mean you would react the same
Atleast its not Lupus
@@kfchero2 its never lupus
@@scflam2 Except for that one time that it was.
@@popcornrocks5208
And that other time we don't talk about.
That one lady who uses her inhaler wrong. 😂😂
LOL! yeah, silly cow used it like perfume!
As a person with asthma, that triggered me so fucking much.
lol me too. Like you fucking donkey!! It's called an inhaler!!!
MYAZMA
@Ali Abbasi
I really don't think she was being sarcastic.
Dr House legitimately asked how she used it. XD
"you have little people inside you."
underrated
Catholic Girl That was the funniest one
Think I saw that one.
So happy to be the like number 666 on this one :D :D
Triggered
“Just like Abraham did it” gets me every time 🤣
They need to make a pre-House M.D. series where a younger House is in Med school and doing practicum. That would be an awesome series!
Nah, no vicodin and less sarcasm.
@@caelum2185 His ex-wife (what was her name again?) confirmed that he was always a jerk
@@raven75257 Stacy, ex gf not wife. He was a mid tier but then injury turned him into top tier jerk.
Benedict Cumberbatch can play younger House well
Did they ever do an episode about how Chase, Cameron and Foreman, all came to work for House, I don't remember
Is this some kind of hell for House in which he leave one examination room to enter another examination room ? An eternal circle for clinical hours ?.
Welcome to the world of residency . . .
Thats probably where house will go when he dies.
I wish, they were the best part of the show.
@HazyDay he likes puzzles.
He'd just either play a game while ignoring the patient or use sleep study as an excuse to get some sleep with the patient.
"If you live by the river, I got a bag !!" Love it
I didn't get that one.
Putting the cat in the bag and tossing it in the river.
Or she could just give the cat to someone else. XD
Tariq Habib I didnt get thst one
Doom Muffinz without meds, Her only cure is to get rid of her cat. So, you know this one way to get rid of a cat.
Patient, "I love cows."
House, "it's Vicodin time"
you love cows are you sure about that I think your faking that issue
I'd love a spin-off of just House dealing with clinic patients.
Would fit well with today's short-form content
"You don't like to swallow ? I'm not surprised " gold
Her blink after that line takes the silver.
Only one line in the whole video that I didn’t like.
I mean, who loves to swallow🤷♀️?.
(AND the patient is in full status with pain.)
Nobody likes to swallow. Pretty sure the white stuff can be unbelievably and disgustingly slimy. Pill wise, eh. I don't mind, but if you'd give me a giant horse pill I'd throw it out the window or chop it up and swallow the pill pieces one by one 🤷
@@scrawnymaniac7126 If I'm truly in love with the guy, then I'm sure I'll love to swallow
@@scrawnymaniac7126 A lot of people like to swallow. Obviously, they only know after they try it...
Ramona, you bad girl.
Ariana Zuniga *naughty
Ariana Zuniga She was hilarious.
Must be quite feisty back in the day.
"I haven't seen Jeopardy in a month."
Naughty
"You have little people inside you" made me spit my coffee everywhere 😂😂😂
Hugh Laurie’s accent in the self-circumcision scene is incredible. Doing the usual House American accent, then adding on sounding like he has a cold, then speaking perfectly pronounced Yiddish…three layered accent
"50 dollars to any patient who is willing to leave here right now" 😂
the parent of the kid with the asma was ready to go lmao
I would leave then come back and repeat lol easy money
@@aproudasia9529 , if you watched that episode, one tried, he knew.
A Proud Asia YEAH... like you can trick House that easily xp
Black dude jumps up hahaha
0:05 - 1x20 Love Hurts
1:36 - 2x14 Sex Kills
2:34 - 1x05 Damned If You Do
4:02 - 2x02 Autopsy
4:55 - 3x12 One Day, One Room
5:48 - 2x04 TB or Not TB
6:40 - 1x16 Heavy
Cary Gibson thank you
Sometimes comment sections can be useful after all.
...only sometimes though.
bless you good sir.
You're an angel.
I seriously love you
The best part about the patient at 5:13, is that he used the same cold-reading like skills House uses on his own patients and judges the person based on that (of course the patient assumed that House was someone who wasn't detail focused, rather than that it was someone who didn't give a rat's ass about social norms). And they both have very little tactfulness!
@@caitlyncarvalho7637 the show is over and also that would be pushing the border of sci-fi which would be lame because the show tends to lean into the realistic aspects of medicine
In the French version, « cigarettes » is actually replaced by whole rice.
And then, the guy asks if he is gonna be addicted to it.
That is bizarre.
@@lordfelidae4505 I think that’s because we have pretty strict rules when it comes to cigarettes and tv. They probably couldn’t say « cigarettes » so they had to change it, but I guess they could have changed the guys answer too
So, I always figured you couldn't be that much of a jerk with people, then I spent a year working at a store. I ended up a bit like House at the end of that year
Le Docteur I've worked in retail for a year and a half now. I was so nice when I started.
I have gone full House now.
I can relate SO MUCH
3 years, it just keeps getting worse.
wewll, I am a pharmacist, so this is very well-known for me, people are sooo stupid and clueless about elementary things ... but I cannot be jrk to them, even though I wish I could, I need those idiots to come back to me ... in this way I seriously envy the doctors...
y'all would not have a job if you were acting like House
"You don't like to swallow. Not surprised." Fucking savage XD
"I didn't press my shirt and forgot to brush my hair this week, you have athlete's foot up your nose. I'm ready to be judged" That line killed me
The look on his face when he says " You have little people inside you" cracks me up everytime.
4:06 House sees a bloody crotch....
"Well it's not Lupus!"
I died.
"Just like Abraham did it.."
It's never lupus...
How many men crossed their legs at this part?
Simon Millard I will to bet 99.99%
HOLD UP. Is that Asian guy at 4:10 the same guy who pretended to be Jim on The Office to prank Dwight?
It better not be!
yes he is!! he's also in fresh off the boat
He's also Danny Chung in Veep
What are you talking about? That is Jim.
Does he have an anus? #Firework
4:19 “My new girlfriend never been with a man who wasn’t circumcised.” then either tell her that you’re proud of your body or leave her. Girlfriends aren’t worth mutilation.
I dunno, Houses face at 4:37 miiiiight be worth it.
@@kekawinterstar3000 .............still not worth it, that's just me though
Not to mention the loss of functionality. Foreskin is a rather useful piece of skin. And not just for men.
Cut, uncut, don’t care so long as dude knows what to do with it.
Nope I’m good. Sorry but torpedos aren’t attractive. Uncut guys remind me of the male dogs with their little red rockets. It’s disgusting 🤢.
“I love cows”
House immediately makes a face and reaches for the Vicodin, as if to say “I’m gonna need a couple for this one..”
"put the twinky back into its wrapper" could´ve lived without that image...
I can't stop thinking about it.. my god that's true horror
1:36 my favorite!!! "I love cows"...House pauses, and goes for the pills thinking "oh! this is going to be AWESOME!" LMAO!
Exactly what is he doing with the cows???
puttin his beef in some beef
@@bodhisattva2348 This episode is really weird, lol
He used the "I love cows" thing to ask for chemical castration, because he was actually sexually attracted to his mother.
I had a patient who was having physical relations with his chicken .. so .. nothing new here .
4:36 This is like the only time I've seen House freak out over a patient.
"You got athlete's foot in yoir nose. I'm ready to be judged."
😂😂
I remember the cow guy, he was getting turned on by his stepmom. XD
His very hot and sexy stepmom barely older then him, who keeps running around in her underwear... XD
Tara DeWert Dude just needed to chill untill it was a major porn category.
He was played by Adam Busch, Noah on The Mystery Files of Shelby Woo.
“Get the twinkie back it’s wrapper.” I almost died at that part. 😂
'Pretty much all the drugs I prescribe are addictive and dangerous. The difference with this one is it's completely legal. Merry Christmas.' House's honesty is what makes this show so hilarious.
4:35 I could watch House’s horrified reaction all day long 😂
RUclips, this is the last video you should be trying to sell me a box cutter on.
the scene from breaking bad might be worse
Lmao
youtube :does anyway!
😂😂😂
Athlete's foot in nose still my favorite.
Look up the girl who's "on the jelly"
"isn't it dangerous?"
"Pretty much all the drugs I prescribe are dangerous, difference is this is completely legal"
*Santa puts on glasses*
Santa- "C- c- Co- ge- rius?"
Doctor-"Cigarettes"
*shocked Santa's face*
HAhaha loved that one
Not gonna lie, i work in a pharmacy and i sometimes read prescriptions like his.
@@Dornatum How do pharmacists like you read such encrypted handwritings?!
Does med school have a course on illegible cursive? Chicken scratch 101?
@@Spudgonzo I hear it helps to only write prescriptions with your left hand. Although I tried that once and now I'm left handed.
sPUDg0NZ0 yes it right after the top of head anatomy class
Patient: "I love cows"
House: *Grabs pills*
"Athlete foot in your nose"
Me: huh??
He used toenail clippers in his nose. The same toenail clippers he uses on his feet. Without sterilizing them. So he spread the athlete's foot fungus to his nose. He shouldn't have been so cheap and just got a second pair of clippers.
Ahhhhhh I see now Thank you
They sell them at the Dollar Tree for, you guessed it, a dollar.
cbernier3 or dipped them in isopropyl
or you know, fire
My favorite clinic moments were like the kid watching his little sibling... came in repeatedly.
First the fireman up the nose, then the police officer, then the toy firetruck...
The little kid was sending rescue teams for the little cat stuck in the nose...
I love that the "Twinky out of the wrapper" made house Audibly react in surprise. it seems like nothing gets to him, but that clearly got to him.
“I got some box cutters..”
STOP RIGHT THERE. RIGHT NOW.
WHAT THE HELL.
5:50
Lmao
Cringe 😨
I feel uncomfortable. Very uncomfortable.
Of all the maiming weapons he could have picked up... box cutters. Must have been desperate... and VERY stupid.
I dont know what that horror story was doing a in a collection of funny visits.
You've got athletes foot in your nose .... I'm ready to be judged
I love it. Funniest one yet.
I didn’t neither. But guessing some dirty stuff like mold growing in there, as nose hairs are there for reason.
@@aosanshou guy used nail clippers for nose hair, infected himself with foot fungus.
Em Dolokhov : ok, make sense😃💬. We better sanitize our body stuff daily.
"detail" was not a major concern
*yeAH!!!
House has a really brilliant 'oh my god' face when a patient says something stupid
6:11 the genuine confusion in his eyes was hilarious
I always loved when he'd be talking to these people and just take out the vicodin.
Like "Yeah this is gonna be a pain to deal with I can already tell"
Oh I remember my brother crossing his legs so much when we heard the guy admit he circumcised himself... We both agree we're surprised he was able to walk all the way to the clinic.
"I Love Cows"
House: "I am way too sober to deal with this."
I maintain the stance that the biggest missed opportunity on this show was to have an episode thats entirely done in real time just following house around during one hour of clinic duty
"You have little people inside you" 😂😂😂😂
I love 1:38 its like at that moment House is like "Nope, not nearly medicated enough for this"
I love the fact that for every future acting role he applies to he probably has on his resume "Guy on House who loved cows"
“You have little people inside of you” the tone and delivery is great
“Why do you hide your pills in the lupus book?”
“It’s never lupus.”
1:40 I love how he just instantly pulls out his pills.
"I'm wearing a rumpled shirt and forgot to shave this week, you have athletes foot in your nose. I'm ready to be judged."
😂😂😂😂
"i know when i'm pregnant"
"you don't get to make that call" XD
apparently not mam
Till today my favourite character.
the fuck is stirner doing on my daily binge of youtube
04:30 So, the guy actually flashed his bloody mangled unit before House could turn the blinds.
"I love cows" *Vicodin* That is the correct response
Him, Simon Cowell, and Gordon Ramsey are the Holy Trinity
What about Dr. Cox from Scrubs?!
also sherlock holmes (bbc)
^^ Okay, the Pentagram
LOL
@@amelonnamedkate1400 fitting
“I’m wearing a rumpled shirt and forgot to brush my hair this week, you’ve got athletes foot in your nose. I’m ready to be judged.” One of the best quotes of all of TV history.
'I'm wearing a rumpled shirt and forgot to brush my hair this week. You've got athlete's foot in your nose. I'm ready to be judged." -House 2019
"So...can you give me something?"
"Like a thesaurus?"
"... to get the Twinkie back in the wrapper" is probably going to make me recoil for the next month.
“can you give me something”
“a thesaurus?” 😂
That manatee could not even spell Thesaurus much less use one correctly
"You don't get to make that call without the stethoscope union rules "
So this is what Agent Woo was up to before the snap
Glad he found House to got that properly taken care of, otherwise, he wouldn't be able to help save Westview!
I like how with the elderly woman house actually had to check with the nurse to make sure he heard that right
Somehow I find it hard to believe that any doctor these days would give a prescription for cigarettes to a complete non-smoker.
Liuhuayue doubt they would write it out, but if none of the normal treatments had worked and 2 cigarettes a day would, minimal harm max gain there. He did say no more or less than 2.
A couple of things: 1. This is House we're talking about, 2. The patient is a fairly older guy so it's not like the occasional smoke is going to harm him much. 3. Nothing else seemed to work for him. Don't get me wrong - I'm sure this'd be career suicide for any doctor but it's TV and it's House so it's a nice scene imho
Most people who are "smokers" kill a pack or more a day. Half a pack at the least. Thats ten to twenty+ cigs. Even at that rate, usually smoking takes decades to produce damage. It would likely take even longer before two a day would produce cancer or emphysema or COPD or loss of limbs or whatever. Since he was an old guy, he would probably be on his way out in decades anyway just due to natural causes.
Liuhuayue it happens but only in very rare cases
For ulcerative colitis nicotine does actually help. Not so much for Crohn's disease. Which I have. He would have prescribed a nicotine patch, not cigarettes.
Dr. House: You think it's gonna come out on its own? Are we talking bigger than a breadbasket? 'Cause, actually, it will come out on its own, which for small stuff is no problem: it's wrapped up in a nice soft package and plop. Big stuff? You're gonna rip something, which, speaking medically, is when the fun stops.
Patient: How did you...?
Dr. House: We've been here for half an hour. You haven't sat down; that tells me its location. You haven't told me what it is; that tells me it's humiliating. You have a little birdie carved under your arm; that tells me you have a high tolerance for humiliation, so I figure it's not hemorrhoids. I've been a doctor twenty years, you're not gonna surprise me.
Patient: It's an MP3 player.
[pause]
Dr. House: Is it... is it because of the size, or the shape, or is it the pounding bass line?
I was howling with laughter at that scene
I think the circumcise guy was the only time I've seen House genuinely shocked.
That guy judging Houses appearance, he deserved the verbal smackdown
4:40 "Just like how abraham did it" lmao dead
"I love cows"
"........yyyyyyyyyyyyah............ yup... Imma need a pill...."
"Don't like to swallow? Not surprised."
If had been drinking coffee I would've spat it omg I was rolling.
"I love cows."
*House sighs and immediately gets vicodin*
"We have flesh, we have curves."
House: You are fat
4:54 I THOUGHT HE LOOKED INSIDE HIS FORESKIN WTF HAHAHAHHA
Bbbbeautiful
Jimmy Woo??!!
HES EVERYWHERE
Lol. Love this. He's not a jerk, just no B.S type of doc
6:30 - Is there something else you can give me?
- If you live by the river, I got a bag
xD ROTFL
4:40 House's shocked "whuuh" never gets old! 😂
Parthenogenesis
The most outrageous clinic case I can remember.
I burst out screaming with laughter when he actually said parthenogenesis.
5.11 "Joy to the World"
"You dont like to swallow... not surprised."
Shots fired.
4:40, WHY...WHY.....WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT!? DO YOU EVEN KNOW THE DIFFERENCE IN BETWEEN BEING CIRCUMCISED & MADE A EUNUCH!
Alexandru Kantakouzenos von Carstein Zarovich
Circumcision is a delicate surgery. A mistake can be with you for the rest of your life. He just underestimated where the fore skin ended and where the main sheath began. Its hard enough to self examine as it is, doing so with BOX CUTTERS while trying not to pass out from pain is more than any one can manage.
I was being sarcastic man, calm down
*Eunuch
@@alexandarvoncarsteinzarovi3723 An explanation isn't anger. Take your own advice.
@@JohnDickinson If she's hot enough, no amount of pain would stop him . . . The real problem is it will never heal correctly, even a perfect adult circumcision will look awful.
Man what would I give if House came back and did a whole season of just clinic duties :P
House: “I forgot to brush my hair this week. You’ve got the athlete’s foot 🦶 on your nose 👃”
Patient: 😮
House: “I’m ready to be judged”
Lol 😂
"well if you live by the river, I got a bag" writers of this show are comic geniuses