@@thebombspayloadisexposed Okay, yeah, I can't argue with that! I gotta say, though, he doesn't look like someone who used to do anything... looks like he was just sitting in a room in a chair eating saltines for 28 years...
@@earthatom7 You also have to remember he's ALSO been using the same jokes for a while, and John Mulaney's approach appears to be to workshop a joke over the course of tours and smaller appearances, and then only retire it after it's the best it can be and it turns up in one of his standup specials/albums. You can find some evidence of that on RUclips; his Back to the Future bit has a lot of permutations on stuff like Just for Laughs and late night shows before it turns up in The Comeback Kid, for example. Stand-up comedy is an art form that requires a lot of repeating and refining, all of which by nature has to happen in front of people. John Mulaney just happens to be good at hiding it.
"In case you have a couple of ... little guys, running around." What? Does she expect dwarves to chase John Mulaney to his house and chase him around his garden for saying midget?
"And by the way it would've been a totally different situation if the baby had said vagina." "Uncle John has a vagina. Because he's actually a skinny Chinese girl."
"In case you have a couple of ... little guys, running around." What? Does she expect dwarves to chase John Mulaney to his house and chase him around his garden for saying midget?
IM MAKING FU CKING MAC AND CHEESE First off, no. No, it’s not. We’re saying the word “midget” and we’re not even saying what the n-word is. If you’re comparing the badness of two words and you can’t even say one of them, that’s the worse word.
"This is an on fire garbage can..." *struggles to contain laughter* Idk why but whenever John Mulaney cant get through his own jokes, it makes it even funnier to me lol
"But i was over at his family's house for the fourth of July and he had his daughter on his knee. And it was a very lovely day his whole extended family was there and he was bouncing his two year old up and down"
I've seen quite a few of those recently, and not one of them included that clip. I'm dismally disappointed. That would've made me freaking erupt if I had heard that without knowing any context whatsoever X'D
He's a comedian. He says that a lot because it's funny in comedy bits. In another show, he says that he and his wife weren't planning for kids, but that people change sometimes. Basically leaving the possibility open.
I actually did something very similar when I was around 3. My mom and I were at the store and earlier that day my mom had been trying to teach me what was between certain peoples legs and why I shouldn't look or touch there. And while my mom and I were in the checkout line I, apparently, pointed to the woman in front of us and asked very loudly, "Does she have a vagina?" Younger me is very entertaining.
That kinda happened to me on the bus with a mentally challenged man. He lived nearby and I regularly said hello. One day, he walked onto a crowded bus, walked straight up to me so I said hello. He responded with "I don't have any money. I'm sorry. Are you mad at me" which combined with his generally timid body language made me sound like some kinda thug strong-arming the sweet young man with a cognitive impairment. As awkward as it was, I still say hi whenever I see him.
@@bookwermofthefandoms In a nutshell this is the context: John went to rehab last year for drug dependency. After 2 months came out of rehab and he divorced his wife. And is now having a baby with his new girlfriend Olivia Munn.
@@maevemallory2122 i don't know that they were actually so much together as they had some sex and some things weren't worn or taken prior to the sex-ing. I also don't know anything....but this does NOT sound like a dude who wants kids. And you sort of know that once you're in your 30s and married.
As soon as the baby is born it will stop crying, look directly at John and point. John will then teach his child about the national no snitching policy
I like how he doesnt think babies like him and is afraid of 13 year olds but is about to make a variety show with/for kids lol Im guessing its going to be more for kids in between those ages.
![BONK COIN PRICE PREDICTION , [ TAKE THIS STOP ! ]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/SVXjyWWrZjs/mqdefault.jpg)
The way he sort of laughed after the garbage can line, stifled it, steeled himself, and delivered "could be a nursery" was brilliant.
Burn baby burn-
Yasameen Hamidzada NO
@@c3p0worksatburgerking35 YES
@@yasameenhamidzada3144 YESSSS!
@@Frostfern94 YEEESSSSSSS-
John mulaney defending his kids that don't even exist is the wholesomeness we need
And that's MY WIFE
Just like he defended his Asian American woman self
@@claraelizabeth5407 But sadly not his high wasted hips.
314rft THAT’S THE THING HE’S SENSITIVE ABOUT
But he said he didn't want the kids he was defending now that's funny
"Sometimes babies will point at me and I don't care for that shit at all''
LMAO same
Doesnt that mean your marked? Not sure what your marked for, taxes, death, politics?. Who knows.
That means you hate
ME HONESTLY
Time stamp is 1:38
Same.
He radiates innocence while shouting motherf****r to his microphone, and that's all I want in a man.
Maria Pullatt those are some pretty high standards
Take a Christian man and make him a bus driver or security guard for a year. You'll get what you want
Netherwolf6100 theyd just become very angry people.
Looks like SOMEBODY'S having children that catfish pedos...
Hey fellow mallu
“You’re never too young to learn our national no snitching policy.”
Virgil Sanders he said that as I read this comment lmao
Whoo! Another fander! Sorry I just love Sanders sides😂
hey virgil
Shhhhhhhh...... Snitches get stitches.....dont tell em about the DrUgS
too
Children probably point and stare at John because they recognize him as a very tall subspecies of their own kind
underrated😂😭
But I thought he was a proud Asian American woman with lady hips....
@@thebombspayloadisexposed No! That's the thing he's sensitive about!
@@EmotionalSupportBees But he's a Tiger Mom!
@@thebombspayloadisexposed Okay, yeah, I can't argue with that! I gotta say, though, he doesn't look like someone who used to do anything... looks like he was just sitting in a room in a chair eating saltines for 28 years...
I love his estate agent impression
The sassy little shoulder wiggles are spot on
Yessss
@@Autmmm *Yasss
If he did have a child that would mean a tall child had a small child
*a tall child with feminine hips
thats like getting a horse to watch your dog
This chat is underrated
@@biazacha THAT'S WHAT HE'S SENSITIVE ABOUT!
kitty kat a horse that is loose in the hospital
How is it possible that he can write & deliver such a volume of absolutely perfect material?
Samuel Nadasky I...dude...
Samuel Nadasky or it could be a rhetorical question meant to express admiration and appreciation for his great talent.
Probably because he actually works at his job as opposed to comics that ride the same material for years... 👍 he's one of a few...
He sold his soul to the devil
@@earthatom7 You also have to remember he's ALSO been using the same jokes for a while, and John Mulaney's approach appears to be to workshop a joke over the course of tours and smaller appearances, and then only retire it after it's the best it can be and it turns up in one of his standup specials/albums. You can find some evidence of that on RUclips; his Back to the Future bit has a lot of permutations on stuff like Just for Laughs and late night shows before it turns up in The Comeback Kid, for example.
Stand-up comedy is an art form that requires a lot of repeating and refining, all of which by nature has to happen in front of people. John Mulaney just happens to be good at hiding it.
John Mulaney: babies be like 👁👄👁👉
LMAO
JIMIN
@@s_nny stop
I-- KSHDGDIDKDGSGODDHGAKDG
@@mrshcwtime ...
articulate.
THESE ARE MY CHILDREN, AND THAT'S MY WIFE!
dumaskhan That’s my wife! Nobody talk to my wife! I didn’t kill my wife!
@@interstate366 Ya switched the samples!
Patrick K ...so it was *that* ballroom...
interstate366 ooh who’s that fella? I bet he did kill his wife...
@@kerryegan3091 Orenthal James Simpson
"You're never too young to learn our national no-snitching policy."
*_6ix9ine has left the chat_*
🤣🤣🤣
🤣omg
😂😂
I don't get it??
Tony Acosta shooters shot
That's an on fire garbage can, could be a nursery🤷🏼♀️😂😂
So his real estate agent is Linda from Bob's Burgers?
LMAOO OMG YOURE RIGHT
Yes yes yes!!!!!
@Nicholas Shaw 😅
John Covington 😑 that’s because it is
I totally thought that as soon as I heard it! He could take over if that dude ever got fired... LOL
I feel personally attacked, I too grew up playing violent videogames and catfishing pedophiles
Juanpablo Montalvo Same, man.
We all lived the same childhood
Juanpablo Montalvo I am busy growing up doing that, it’s fun
Not me I went outside and played sports with my friends all the time
Tony Acosta okay, loser
This is a comment section...
*Could be a nursery*
"In case you have a couple of ... little guys, running around."
What? Does she expect dwarves to chase John Mulaney to his house and chase him around his garden for saying midget?
This is the comment section...
*could be a garbage fire...*
goo
@@blu3b3rry96 *g o o*
I turned te 699 likes into 700 you are welcome.
"And by the way it would've been a totally different situation if the baby had said vagina."
"Uncle John has a vagina. Because he's actually a skinny Chinese girl."
He is a proud Asian American woman and you will treat him with respect!
He's got feminine hips
@@eliasmg9144 his secret is out now COME On
And he's like *NO. That's the thing I'm sensitive about!*
interstate366 I applaud you, my good man! (Or woman, I don’t give a damn!)
“she has a vagina”
“yes i doooo and it is magnificent”
“HOORAYYY YOU ARE SO BRAVE”
had me SCREAMING
Same, this guy is too funny. :'D
Hahaha I wheezed 😂
I skipped threw the video for the 10th time just to get to that line🤣
@@carla6485
There, 4:00 or 4:09 if you want only that line. You're welcome.
@@shizukagozen777 bless you😉
“who’s that fella? I bet he *DID* kill his wife!”
*OoooOh, I bet he did*
Among Us in a nutshell
"In case you have a couple of ... little guys, running around."
What? Does she expect dwarves to chase John Mulaney to his house and chase him around his garden for saying midget?
"little men. It's new times" - Stefon 😏
Worse than the n-word
IM MAKING FU CKING MAC AND CHEESE First off, no. No, it’s not. We’re saying the word “midget” and we’re not even saying what the n-word is. If you’re comparing the badness of two words and you can’t even say one of them, that’s the worse word.
Mick Lynch Dude they were just finishing the John Mulaney quote. It’s a reference to another show he’s done.
i love how well you integrated so many of his jokes 😂
I completely get the Drew Gooden comparisons now...
Oh ya the vibes are strong
Danny and Drew are not the same person. Drew and John are.
Kathryn Hamel they were triplets......
#BlameHood Blame me for your problems
Oh my god they were triplets
IKR I keep saying how much they are alike!
*fell deadly silent, is what they all did*
brah brah
you need no introduction
*EXCUSE ME SIR ARE YOU THE TAILOR SPYING ON THE BRITISH GOVERNMENT-*
I feel like John Mulaney has been 32 my whole life. I don't remember him ever saying a different age, always just 32
he is 1 year older than me and honestly that makes me happy.
"Sometimes you don't know what's going to happen... and then something happens"
And here we are
really lovin that one dude laughing hysterically in the background
"This is an on fire garbage can..."
*struggles to contain laughter*
Idk why but whenever John Mulaney cant get through his own jokes, it makes it even funnier to me lol
NNSJDND
I think John Mulaney is my new favorite comedian.
...really
Welcome to the club. :)
I’ve been in that boat since his second Netflix special.
Amy Lowe John Mulaney, Dave Chappelle, and Bo Burnham are my top three :)) I remember liking DeAnne Smith too.
@@ellllllo77 Yeah after Chappelle put out that beautifully offensive, yet comedically terrible special...
I made the mistake of watching this in Spanish class and now it looks like I’m on crack
That's good!
Pay attention to your teacher! Psh, kids today.
LITERALLY ME RN
Trying not to laugh while watching this tall child tell his tall tales does tend to make you look like a fucking maniac
‘Sometimes you don’t know what’s going to happen and then something happens.” Yes indeed.
John Mulaney is truly a national treasure.
"I had a run-in with a two-year-old girl."
"I realize there are better ways to open that story."
“My friend Jeremy had this two year old girl and I really like her she’s a sweet kid I like her a lot”
"But i was over at his family's house for the fourth of July and he had his daughter on his knee. And it was a very lovely day his whole extended family was there and he was bouncing his two year old up and down"
"and he pointed at me and said" do you know who that is? That's your uncle John""
"and I was like oh my god that's so sweet I'm her uncle John"
4:17 this has got to be the first entry on some "John Mulaney out of context" compilation out there
I wanna be able to say hubby and I
I've seen quite a few of those recently, and not one of them included that clip. I'm dismally disappointed.
That would've made me freaking erupt if I had heard that without knowing any context whatsoever X'D
You had me at "stop snitching motherfucka!" I almost choked after hearing that one!!!
“You’re a baby so discretion is key” got me 🤣🤣
He was the perfect choice of voice actor for Timon in my opinion
He doesn't have the singing tho. I'm glad he got spider ham
Dude, I didn't even think about that option until you said it... but now I can't un-see it. I love it!
And I'm glad he didn't get cast as Timon because he deserved more than a cheap remake
@@PluralPaul Good point, but I'd still love to see him do a Timon impression someday. Dunno how that would work into a set, but whatever.
@@oliviagriffith3626 I mean, he likes his commentary, so I could see a few ways it would happen
The children are just amazed by his feminine hips
NO THATS THE THING HES SENSITIVE ABOUT
BUT THAT'S THE THING WE LIKE ABOUT HIM-
That shoulder shimmy always gets me
when babies stare at me in the store i stare back to assert dominance.
Was this Jeremy the same man who yelled "SCATTER" as the police raided Jake Macnomara's home
God I hope so 🙏
@Mae Belcher Y E S
He said John in that set tho
@@persephoneplays what
It was his non imaginary best friend John. The same one from the Tom Jones Diner skit
1:24 “And that’s my wife!”
2021: “uhh 😄 no”
"yEeeEeS yeSsSsSsidOoOoOooO and it is wOOoOoNnNdEeEeRfULLLLLL"
HOORAY! YOU ARE BRAVE!!!
Why did this get recommended to me right after news broke out that Mulaney's in rehab?
Get well soon John, we're rooting or you.
Same, I hope he is doing well and is able to stay clean
I heard John was going to be a father and I immediately thought of this and every other time he said he didn't want children.
That's rough.
Yeah, straight out of rehab and with a woman he’s only been dating for a few months no less
Rough for his kid who will one day grow up and see this
@@JB-1007 you really think in 12-13 years these clips will still be around?
I mean, yeah, youtube itself has been around for over 16 years at this point.
He's a comedian. He says that a lot because it's funny in comedy bits. In another show, he says that he and his wife weren't planning for kids, but that people change sometimes. Basically leaving the possibility open.
I actually did something very similar when I was around 3. My mom and I were at the store and earlier that day my mom had been trying to teach me what was between certain peoples legs and why I shouldn't look or touch there. And while my mom and I were in the checkout line I, apparently, pointed to the woman in front of us and asked very loudly, "Does she have a vagina?"
Younger me is very entertaining.
Oof 😅
Yes I do but you’re a baby, so discretion is key 👌🏻👌🏻👌🏻
this is my comment, AND THATS MY WIFE
could be a nursery,,,,,
John is your wife? Congratulations
Mad respect to the guy who just died each time John told a joke
That kinda happened to me on the bus with a mentally challenged man. He lived nearby and I regularly said hello.
One day, he walked onto a crowded bus, walked straight up to me so I said hello. He responded with "I don't have any money. I'm sorry. Are you mad at me" which combined with his generally timid body language made me sound like some kinda thug strong-arming the sweet young man with a cognitive impairment.
As awkward as it was, I still say hi whenever I see him.
I watched all his Netflix specials yet i still click on these
Same
Same.
same here
Well, he'll be needing a nursery now, so it seems that real estate agent got the last laugh...
he's literally running all over the globe right now trying to pay for- all the things
“Babies don’t like me very much”
Malcom Mulaney 👁👄👁
That one woman who is just crying
"Working on one cheerio with Bobby Fisher like intensity"
I wonder how Jeremy's daughter is gonna react to this bit once she grows old enough to watch it...😂😂😂
If it were me who’d said that, I’d never live it down! 😂😂
this is my comment.
could be a n u r s e r y.
Rishabh Mitra This is a laptop.
c o u l d b e a n u r s e r y
This is a cellphone.
C o u l d b e n u r s e r y
This is a white, windowless, unmarked van...
Could be a n u r s e r y
#CouldBeANursery
Rishabh Mitra I think it has enough space for it :3 think about it a nice nursery
Mulaney now, having a baby boy:
"Well shit."
Well, sometimes you don't know what happens and then you have a child with Olivia Munn. Real Estate agent got some of it right, I suppose.
Basically that. You kinda wonder.....you just wonder how that went down given his very solid no-kid stance
the "THATS MY WIFE" just hurts alot now...
Why did you and he got a divorce or something?
@@shannongabler5315 that’s not what happened
"sometimes you don't know what's gonna happen, and then... you know something happens."
and then something happened
JOHN, SOMETHING HAPPENED NOW. CALL YOUR REALESTATE AGENT!
he's running around the world right now trying to not have run ins with his baby
This was posted two years to the date before John announced his baby with Olivia Munn. Awkward.
sad. he obviously doesn’t want kids.
The real estate agent watching this now:👁️👄👁️
I’m looking forward to the upcoming recently relapsed, now sober again but divorced Mulaney. It’s going to be.....something.
definitely.. something.
read the reviews online apparently he’s wearing sweaters now and crushing every show
And now a baby, he really lived a full life
And a dad now!!! Relator:1, Mulaney: love
This aged… interestingly.
I mean, maybe? Is there some context I'm missing
@@bookwermofthefandoms In a nutshell this is the context: John went to rehab last year for drug dependency. After 2 months came out of rehab and he divorced his wife. And is now having a baby with his new girlfriend Olivia Munn.
The fact that he's gonna have a baby with olivia munn, who's an asian american woman
aged interestingly, this did
@@smitra5901 theyre still together?
@@maevemallory2122 i don't know that they were actually so much together as they had some sex and some things weren't worn or taken prior to the sex-ing. I also don't know anything....but this does NOT sound like a dude who wants kids. And you sort of know that once you're in your 30s and married.
As soon as the baby is born it will stop crying, look directly at John and point. John will then teach his child about the national no snitching policy
John Mulaney's 'baby impression' is the best thing I've ever seen in my whole life 😂😂
This man is now a father.
And now he’s gonna be a dad. Full circle.
This is the comment section.
*could be a nursery*
Starkid?
John's intense baby impression is my favorite thing on this planet
He's so chaotic but wholesome at the same time I love it
Next time just say "I'm not THAT kinda uncle"
This has aged wonderfully..
This just be hurting different today
This aged like milk
Why?
The way the real estate agent was right.....
"This is an on fire garbage can. Could be a nursery."
Demons: Yes.
I like how he doesnt think babies like him and is afraid of 13 year olds but is about to make a variety show with/for kids lol Im guessing its going to be more for kids in between those ages.
“I had a run in with a two year old.”
That real estate agent tried to tell him 😂😂
0:39 "This is an on-fire garbage can............... . . . Could be a nursery" 😂🤣
Lmao why is he channeling Linda Belcher 😂😂😂😂
So sad he’s getting a divorce
Well, another John Mulaney bit that ages poorly, but makes it funny in a whole different and weird way😂
Aged poorly?
@@a.s.d.p214 He's divorced
@@RoseGarden17 lol
@@RoseGarden17 and has a baby
@@HopeGardner3amed and lives in an on-fire garbage can.
Turned out that real estate agent was psychic
The irony. He left his wife and immediately had a baby with Olivia Munn.
'Catfishing pedophiles', my favorite childhood activity
The fact that he’s about to be a father now, best of luck John and Olivia
"fell deadly silent...is what they all did" lmaooo
The irony years later on just this bit 😂😂😂
"Do you have a penis?"
"Yes but you're a baby so discretion is key."
I'M DEAD 😂😂😂
i don't know why the way he jiggles his shoulders before the "could be a nursery" line makes me so happy.
“Oh, come on!”
Lolol that’s such a white 45 year old dad in his New Balances comment😂.
His phrasing and timing is absolute perfection!
who's here after knowing he's going to be a father?
The man's entire life flashed before his eyes.
lol when you concentrate on one laugh, it makes you feel james corden is watching the show too 3:25
God pulled a cruel stunt on us when he decided to make This man straight.
Honestly I do hope he ends up having kids because imagine how crazy that would be
Yikes
Poefeathyr yeah except John has a brain in his head so he won’t
@@abigaileldritch edgy
Lucy M congratulations, that’s without fail consistently the most overused reply to something that slightly challenges the way people think
@@abigaileldritch congratulations! You are both edgy AND pretentious :)
1:34 well, that didn’t aged well
i don't get it