I was a “good wife” that grew tired after 31 years! I literally spent half my life with this man and I am ashamed to say I still love him, but I love myself more ❤️
Exactly the same at nearly 35 yrs altogether knowing him..many of those I was married...the good times films in my head stop me moving forward properly 😒🙄
@@mercyln6646 The 2 biggest problems for 99.999% of relationships having issues: A - Delusions of superiority or inferiority and B - The all consuming need to be right/can't be wrong silliness.
Demon Spawn...? Mine isn't human. Alien? He ain't right, sick. Sick sick .. Glad I'm understanding why I spent too long with this predator, Demon Spawn, and others stayed even longer! Ugh... Feel for anyone that's been subjected to that life! It's a living nightmare. Go Women and men trying to get out. And did. My heros!
Oh yes oh have a disadvantaged niece/sister/cousin coming to meaningless family dinners to only mock and make this person sad and press painful buttons that provoke guilt shame and pain. So convenient and nice.
I was treated with such anger, disdain and hatred. NEVER understood why. Loved him till I escaped...despite the mistreatment. He was my husband. Are my eyes ever opened!
@@yeswing10 So, you hate him but "couldn't let go"... and you're here commenting under a clip of how NPDs stay stay with/can't let go of who they hate, aye? Keep talking. 🍿
A good sign of the hate of the narcissist is that instead of feeling ashamed that we blocked them and want to find out what they did, they just get mad and gossip against us.
They feel good because they have PROJECTED all their evil onto you -- and energetically, they are actually dumping their darkness onto you. It's very destructive for the supportive partner. No way out except to leave.
@@SilverSunPublishing I Praise God that I was rescued and was able to WALK AWAY!!! NO MORE CONTACT EVER AGAIN!!! God's protective hand is upon me!!! AMEN!!!
My husband of 17 years wants me to leave once our son leaves for university. He's giving me subtle signs. I was used,abused,and now about to be discarded. Planning to leave him soon. Wonder how he'll take it
@@lakshmisukumaran8036 ❤️it hurts. It really hurts. Stay strong in your resolve! Keep trucking! Move forward! 💪You are not alone! Millions of us out here!
@@lakshmisukumaran8036subtle signs sounds like he's looking for a fight/excuses to justify his cheating. He probably is just waiting for the kid to go to college to avoid child support. And if he makes more money than you by a lot, he figured it's cheaper to keep you than to pay alimony.
The narc will put down their partner to their new supply (contrasts) it’s crazy! If you talk to the new supply and hear how much they hate you, will blow your mind!
They need to point their finger at someone ,,,so they can avoid thinking about their miserable self ...a narc can never be alone .... ,,,an empty shell that needs to feed off other people ...
Oh they definetly can let you go when they are tired or boring of you, when they can't get what they want from you, they just discard you like you are not even a person
That's exactly what happens in many cases because they don't all have the same behaviours, yet others do get stuck on one person and refuse to let them move on! 😥
This is soooo true! I was my mother’s failure child. The poor woman who was forced to endure raising me. Also dated a narc for 7 years who made himself the victim to his friends because I was so “horrible”. Behind closed doors they are cruel and manipulative. Outside the home they go out of their way to help every stranger they encounter. Finally woke up and walked away. He tried to get me back by claiming “ I’m just realizing now that what we had was special.” It took you 7 years to realize that? I just smiled and said “ Awwww….THANKS Clark”. His face just FELL. He was so sure I would come running back . I think about that moment a lot and am proud of how I handled it .
So true!! I spent 12yrs in this toxic dance with a diagnosed borderline. These relationships will kill you eventually, the mental anguish, gaslighting, manipulation, chronic abuse, your mental and physical health starts to fail. I have 2 children with her and have custody because of 3 CPS cases against her. Its finally over now, I left her , and took my kids with me. I'm in therapy, it's no longer about her, but about why I stayed 12yrs in this. Finding out that the borderline is the symptom of my unresolved childhood issues, which is why I was attracted to this sickness in the first place. The longer you stay, the darker it gets, you have to be masochistic or suicidal to stay. The chronic stress will kill you, or you will eventually lose your mind and possibly kill them or yourself. I'm fully convinced the spiritual element to this is demonic.
I always wondered why my ex husband treated me with such disdain and contempt. I always said why are you treating me like your enemy. He was extremely abusive and then would act completely harmless and so giving to thise outside of our home. No matter how kind and giving i was, he treated me horribly and always moved the goalposts. Physically assaulted me. Targetted our children as well while lying about me to anyone who would listen to him. Even tried to smear me to our children. So many lies. Even our therapist told him to stop making me his scapegoat. Glad to be divorced. And rebuilding my life that he completely destroyed when i went no contact and left him.
@@cymbolichuman433 You made it out too. Our numbers are growing. We usually escape mentally first. Our support of each other helps us & the recipient to heal. I’m glad you shared too ❤️🩹
I’m proud of you for making it out of that toxic relationship. It takes courage & inner strength to rescue yourself. May you have peace, love & happiness 💕🌹
“ they need you, in their life, ( in order ) to be a bad person. They revel in their evil. You, are their sucker, who they can practice their evil on. Around you, they get to, “ let their hair down, and be their true evil self, and live their true life. Around other people, they have to behave, be fake, be false. So read that again: “ they need you, in their life, to be a bad person “. Their true nature is evil. They need you in their life to be their true nature and live up to their true selves.
You are right on the nose! They never show their real DEMONIC self around others. It's like they try to make you look bad for talking about them because no one else has never seen it. Its crazy what these people are capable of.
@@phuongdao7274just focus on your life and leave them behind! Say to yourself that ' you worth more than anything else in this Universe'' they always think they are right and that sucks! Just leave your life and never let them Belittle you or ruin your life
I had a narcissist explain it to me once. She said it was like an addiction. Narcissists get addicted to contact with their prey. They need to be around the people feeding their ego as much as possible. They eventually begin to resent you for being addictive and for making you need and want you so badly. They blame you for their lack of impulse control and unhealthy boundaries. The idea of contrast seems to make sense but if you unpack this more you can understand it better. The contrast is the "over/under" game. When you are in a great mood they have to play under to your over because that's the game. When you're down they're going to play over and have a happy disposition in the face of your suffering. The real core of this behavior is the desire the need the addiction to serotonin. The dominant position in the relationship gives them serotonin. This is human nature and this is why narcissists get addicted to people they can dominate people that submit to them. The act and acknowledgement (submission) to the dominant social position is the drug because that releases serotonin and some dopamine too.
wow.. this in other words is exactly what is they actually start TO FEEL something. my ex told me once ,,youre humanising me!!! i dont know what to do with that!!"
This is so so true!!!!! Block everything possible and HEAL. Walk away and do not look back. Do not be their supply, and their supply takes different forms. Do Not Be Used By Them For Their Personal Entertainment. They truly only use people for their own twisted needs. Move On.
@@lauralittle6899same is happening with me. Going around a Narc person can also make you sick. Because the Narc is your Mom, I think that's what makes it hard on our mental and physical health.
@@kimlogan1278 Nobody "makes you sick". You are giving away your power to change, by blaming others on the nasty feelings that you refuse to contend with.
@lauralittle6899 it's like withdrawing from a drug. You will stay chronically stressed with them. You will feel horrible when u leave BUT you can heal. Some of the reason why you feel horrible is because you also have to face your own demons that led you to stay and put up with it in the first place.
It’s crazy that ppl actually have this mentality. That they get a thrill from the hurt they inflict. I’m so glad I left and never looked back. 2 years no contact!!!! 👊🏽✌🏽👋🏽
Spent a year falling for a narc. He made me fall for him with kindness and love id never thought id feel. Then when i shared my feelings pushed me away in such a brutal way. Took me time to recover. I started dating other men so he tried to weasle his way in again. Then he decided we were a couple and told people without telling me! Accusing me of cheating and sleeping around. When it came to a head, i tried to speak with him and he told me i was crazy. Used his best friend as a way to invite jealousy and fears. She played along knowingly! This opened up a whole bunch of unnecessary pain for me. I questioned myself and my reality on things. The gaslighting was atrocious. When i finally walked away, he and his circle made my life a hell i wouldnt wish on my worst enemy. They destroyed my reputation and ran my self esteem into the ground. They are so careful and use the victim status like a flag. Im ao glad nothing ever truly developed. He had me fooled. He took advantage of my kindness and openness for his own selfish needs. Never again. Truly, be careful out there.
I watched my MIH deal with her narcissistic hisband. She was with him for over 30 years before she died of the dis-ease called cancer. She made so many excuses for his verbal, emotional and sometimes physical abuse. He killed her through his behavior. Now I find myself with one. These people are dis-eases and will kill us. We have to find peace and joy and escape their malignant abuse.
14:17 Our 20-year wedding anniversary was on October 9th, 2024, but I'm almost ready to walk out the door. I just have a few loose ends to tie up, and then me and my 10 children are out! Please pray for us.
It’s scary especially with so many children, it’s never impossible though. You CAN do this not only for yourself for your children too. I will be praying for you.
I used to ask him how he can treat me with such hatred. He can go from placid to totally abusive, screaming that his eyes seem they will pop out. And it confused me and made me exhausted. Mentally I could not fathom what it was. Now i do. I am on the way out. He will not see this coming.
You are ABSOLUTELY right. I was in a Narc marriage for years. And let me tell you, it was pure hell once we had gotten a house together. For example; disappearing acts, no communication, a lot of accusations, bleached my clothes, burned me with own flat irons, punched me in my head, constantly cheating, and the list goes on. The relationship was over after 7 years of his bs. To make it worse, i have a Narc Mom who doesn't give damn about noone but herself.
@@skylinestudioofficial So, you hated him but "couldn't let go"... and you're here commenting under a clip of how NPDs stay stay with/can't let go of who they hate, aye? Keep talking. 🍿
It is because of having a narc mom that you most likely fell into another narc relationship because your tolerance for it was higher than most unfortunately....
The 2 biggest problems for 99.999% of relationships having issues: A - Delusions of superiority or inferiority and B - The all consuming need to be right/can't be wrong silliness.
Thank you. I needed this tonight, I finally cut him off. Blocked and going to try to heal. I feel like I don’t know myself anymore after I seen it was all lies.
5 years ago,your videos helped save my life, I didn't know what I was experiencing. Being involved with narcissism was depressing, insulting, and gave me low self-esteem. It has taken about 2 years of healing. I also learned the different kind of narcissistic behaviors. It's really sickness. I don't get involved anymore. These people are everywhere and they are TRASH.
They need you to be the bad person so they can use you as their excuse always for their bad choices like cheating. They also need you to be the bad person so they can make themselves feel better like they're good like how they portray to the outside world. They need someone that will stroke their egos, put up with their never ending abuse & take their fear of being alone away. They'll treat you like dirt, despise you but when you try to ask them on why continue the so called relationship they will act like they have no idea what you're talking about, avoid you or gaslight you telling you that they do really love you & want to be with you but their actions show the complete opposite. It's very sickening how they are so perfectly content being in the most dysfunctional relationship. If you try to question them on why there's no affection, no intimacy, no communication pretty much nothing left they will become angry & treat you like you're in the wrong for questioning them & for having any hurt feelings from the choices they're making that is ruining the relationship. Narcissists are the best at portraying the victim especially when they cheat. They will blame their faithful partner for their cheating, finding & using the most pathetic reasons for their cheating. They'll manipulate & gaslight their partners into believing that they were in the wrong for the narcissist cheating. It is one of the worst forms of mental & emotional abuse being a so called relationship with a narcissist. They will drain, beat you down, break you till you have absolutely nothing left.
Not always the case they replace you if they can. The minute they have another sucker lined up they will be willing to let you go if they come out looking like the good guy.
Psychedelics are just an exceptional mental health breakthrough. It's quite fascinating how effective they are against depression and anxiety. Saved my life.
Can you help with the reliable source I would really appreciate it. Many people talk about mushrooms and psychedelics but nobody talks about where to get them. Very hard to get a reliable source here in Australia. Really need!
Psychedelic is the answer to most severe anxiety and depression. The use of magic mushrooms completely helps one get over depression and makes you feel like yourself.
This blew my mind.. first weeks in the marriage I kept saying to him I'm not your enemy... then my friends would comment that he was so childish and I began to see him as peter pan.. every birthday for him is another tantrum over getting old.. finally after 33 years together I'm getting it... 2 years ago, I said to him I'm not your enemy... this time he replied... I'm not so sure! The blinkers are off now and I too mourn and wonder how was I so deceived!... but my point is this video has resonated so deeply by me even thinking of him as peter pan!
I am not your enemy is something i used to say to my ex narcissistic partner constantly from the way he responded to and debated me as if we was not meant to be on the same team 😢
My ex sucked the life out of me, I have 3 small children, he held the purse strings, it was hard, he convinced me to sell my home and then left me. He made the settlement on my birthday 🎂. This man took out a $250,000 insurance policy, I had three attempts on my life. They are dangerous dangerous.
@@Peonia-Melbournehe is running from being served the temp court orders that have been signed. I blocked him already, told him I never want to talk to him. He can text about house, truck payments but nothing else.
Boundless outlaws they don't believe that any rules apply to their perfect sells yes never underestimate the dangerousity, if that's a word, of the Narcissist!!
Absolutely. I’m the bad guy and I’m convenient for him. 28 years I’ve been married to this self centered jerk. I’m finally starting to look at divorce options. He absolutely hates me and it’s obvious! Glad I finally wised up and healed some of the childhood trauma. Thank you Kevin!
Exactly! they hate u but they refuse to leave u alone, let u leave or just have nothing to do with u. ITS WEIRD! Even a narcissistic boss at a job. They hate u and then when u get sick of the abuse and quit on that asz they got a attitude. These people are batshyt crazy!!! Had a covert malignant narcissist female I dated like that. I think she. had a comorbidity with borderline personality and when I got sick of the abuse and tried to leave she would literally fight me and stop me from leaving. ITS CRAZY!! They expect u to just stay there and tolerate the abuse no matter what they do. And then when u get away narcy starts up a narcissist/BPD smear campaign to still try to control u or affiliate themselves to u long after u got away from them.
Yes indeed! All of their tactics are mind boggling! Yes it's an attack on your MIND, your inner peace to break you. I've been through it from every angle, from parent, relationships, and jobs. We're living in some sad times now. No humanity and respect for one another.
I always felt like an inconvenient convenience. Lying, backlighting, breadcrumbing, the mental and emotional abuse and sometimes even suttle physical abuse, no intimacy, always making me feel like I was the problem. Got together in 2000 and married in 2006 and finally had the courage to end it in August this year. Feel he still feels that this is just a separation and we will be together again. For now am healing. This relationship almost destroyed me, it definitely destroyed my life and are having to start from scratch at the age of 62.
My mother is like this. She goes around telling everyone bad things about her kids butv tells people how great she is and how she helps everyone. People think she's wonderful but shes a piece of sh!t.
My mother told lies and alienated all my relatives. It's a small town so I moved away. She took everything you can take from a person. Everyone loved her. Noone would believe how she treated me. It's such a mind f**k.
I really needed to here this. Thank you. I was a conveince. I took care of everything for him. That ended November 2023. I left and filed for divorce. I can now breathe.
For the ones who need to hear this, we all (including I) ought to accept that some people are really bad deeds. Do not spend your goodness, kindness and tolerance with those people. Just accept this fact and walk away. Do not even spend your time why they are like that unless you are psychiatrist.
It hurt so deeply to learn that the woman I dated and married didn't actually exist. The abuse started 6 months after the wedding, and became progressively worse over the years. At 20-1/2 years of marriage, I am now in the discard stage of divorce.
The lessons are branded on your heart now. Sounds like this person is stealing your life out from under you day after day. Wishing you peace happiness and healthy relationships in your next chapter.
the Narc is emotionally immature, and to face up to this and seek therapy from a therapist or psychologist is not an option for them, denotes a sign of failure on their part...its actually a sign of real intelligence to fix a problem
The relationship usually does look like garbage behind closed doors. Me and my ex weren't intimate near the end but in public he'd try to show affection. It's so twisted
Mine compared me to his x wife all the time and his whole family mixed me up with his brothers x wife who has the same name as me held me accountable for things I didn't do and wouldn't even dream of.doing what she did. It took me years to find out what I was being hated and excluded for and to this day we meaning my x brothers and sisters and inlaws whom I liked very much and want to have a relationship with .. shut me out.
You don't have to find a reason. We fixate on the negative, so we will find what ever speck of "bad" (usually based on opinion) in you and snowball it in our minds to a hundred more "bad" traits you have, to make you fatally flawed. You really aren't.
I'm a sigma empath who attracts narcissists like moths to flame. Older and wiser now, it's actually comical now how predictable and non unique they are. But criminal how unsuspecting empaths are left wide open to these predators. It should be taught in schools how to avoid them. But up til now, in modern his story, these types control societies. Til we wake up and take our power back. These vampires need us, we don't need them.
Oh my, now I understand! My narc is my mother. We've always known she loves to fight and argue, now I understand why. It gives her the opportunity to be the better person and play the victim all while calling me every vile thing she can think of. I now see this is done to make me the bad guy while she plays the hapless injured victim Thank you for shedding light on this. Now I understand her toxic need to create arguments and antagonize. I live with this person and am definitely a convenience for her. Always have known that. I have ruined my life by helping her in her old age. I can't get out of her trap. Help me!😮!!!!
I had a mother like this only child 7 yrs old told me she hated me cuz looked like her motherinlaw ,my grandma it is horrible I am sorry you are going thru this but it wont be forever before she passed she accused me of try to steal the house and money everything. actually the money and house was part of my inheritance from my grandma she controlled it she manipulated my dad in the will to leave her everything
This video honestly brought me to tears. Everything you have said is happening to me. I met him at 42 and then I turned 43. He asked me to marry him six months in. He had a 7 year old son who lived with him. He was 46, Right after the marriage nothing happened. The marriage was fake. He yelled at me constantly. I have been with this monster since 2002 and it is now 2024. I wasted so many years. Now I'm late 60's. I feel it is too late to find love. Real love. I'm so discouraged and angry. He wears that damn wedding ring like a badge. I never wear mine. I know he wears it to look important and special. I have battled with him for years and you never win. It gets crueler and meaner. He retired and discarded me. Gives me no attention and is always up in his bedroom or office posting pictures on facebook. All day and night. Never talks with me or watches anything on TV anymore. It's so abusive and hurtful. I am leaving. I tried last year but I had a dog that was dying and didn't want to make it harder on her by moving her into another place. She died in 2003. Her brother is with me now and he has cancer. Now I'm stuck because I just can't move until he is gone. I don't want him to be gone but I can see the change in him. So I have to wait all of this out. Thank you for your words, you nailed it.
Now I understand all the false accusations! I’m always fighting stories about myself that were made up and untrue. I was at this place the seat on my car in a different position who was in there I was seen in another state. It was exhausting. None of these things were true. I had to be the bad person.
I was a combo of both to my ex-husband. He didn’t love me, didn’t like me, couldn’t even name one thing about me bc he never bothered to learn about me. I gave him status and was made to be the bad guy, so he could feel good about his miserable self. (His entire family did the same.) So I finally divorced him.
@writer1986 wow....I think this is what I'm experiencing. Been questioning this very thing, and his families the same. I'm not alone apparently. Interesting perspective. Thank you
This is such a smack in the face. I remember early in finding out about his cheating that I said, you don't love me, you love what I have created with you, what I make. A family, a social structure. I could see the hate for me in the actions that he took and told him that. I also remember asking him to let me go. The trauma bond was still really strong at this time. The validation is high today, thank you.
All I know is I've been basically screaming to get out of here for at least 6 years now with no luck. I'm still here. Still in this HELLISH "marriage" with no way out.
50 ways to leave your lover. After 44 yrs with someone I thought truly loved me , I am now realizing that it was only what “I “ believed it to be,… @ 70yrs old, and now I understand what he was saying to me. I ran out on him in my 20’s , a family member asked him why he didn’t just let me go, he said “because I need her “ … there it was,so long ago
I did. I called him out about everything. That's why he left. I filed for the divorce, paid for the divorce! I blocked him on all of my doors. He can take his bad show elsewhere!!!!
A free uplifting shift of self, consciousness, and awareness. Im opening my eyes after so many years of neglect and people pleasing and Im using my emotions and awareness as regulation for my own happiness
Thank you so much for this. I did go totally incommunicado with this person-no phone calls, letters, nothing. They tried to get in contact. ZERO response from me. I never regretted this decision for even one millisecond. I only experienced blessed peace that I never knew when this person was in my life. I finally could breathe freely.
I feel really sorry for all the women that were trapped in narcissistic abuse for many many years because of marriage. I saw first hand how it affects people's life's and health
Another eyeopener about narcist marriage! Personally, I learn as much from the comments. Thanks to all of you who share ❤ Left my narc husband 5 years ago after 25 years of marriage. Thought I still loved him, but as I read here, that is NOT LOVE, it is trauma bond. Very helpful!
5 years free after 27 years married to a narcissist. If you are still with a narcissist, leave now. No explanation. Just be gone. When you get away it’s like being pardoned from death row. You can be happy
I'm scared to leave . My two kids are small and I'm scared of them being raised in a broken family the way I was. So I stay and suffer. I've lost my mind. I'm depressed and just fake that I'm okay near the kids and cry when they've gone to sleep.
I have walked away from my brother. It's taken till I'm 62 to do it, to disentangled from business with him too. I feel like I've cut off an ugly wart!!! Im free at last, and have peace and tranquillity in my life.. finally 🕊
I just had a huge blowout with my partner of 21 years. I let him trigger the anger button and it turned into a screaming match. I actually shouted "why do you hate me so much!" I just want peace. I want to stop crying. I want a different life. 😢
Because he hates himself... cry and let it out, it is painful, I know all to well. Learn how to respond and (breathe) reacting only fules them and exhausts you. Believe in yourself enigma, you got this!! Love and light to you xx
Say nothing.. This just validates why they hate you. This is playing into their game of them being the victim. Do not react, build another life behind the scenes, live a double life for a while, as this is all they did from day one. Then step into this other life, and leave. @@lorraine4345
18yrs dealing with alllll of this! 2 years of therapy for me & my childern. Further 2 years re building our lives to a normal way which is fabulous. I'm free..x..
It's when they have to wash their own clothes for the first time in 17 yrs. , THEY HATE YOUR GUTS... IF YOU HAVE BEEN A "BITCH" BY NOT MAKING THEIR DINNER WHEN THEY GET HOME AT 2 30 a.m. FROM "WORK", THEY HATE YOU!!! HOW ABOUT THIS, THEY HAVE SUDDEN CARDIAC ARREST IN YOUR PRESENCE... YOU DO CPR IMMEDIATELY, BRING LIFE BACK INTO THEIR BODY AND HATE YOU EVEN WORSE THAN BEFORE... 😂😂😂 TALK ABOUT STUPID 😅😂😅... THEY GO BAT SHIT WHEN THEY CAN'T FIND YOU 😂😂😅... PAYBACK IS A BITCH.... 😂😂
@@rocbotum8 , i think some do. But i've experienced and known many types of narcissists and i think some actually love me and others that they 'use and 'abuse' . It is not a black and white type of situation.
I needed to hear this. He acts like he hates me but wants me to stay. When I don't want to play his game, then he wants to kick me out. My BF emotionally blackmails me when I'm at my weakest.😢
The competition among men AND women for the "appearance" of a good life is powerful. The third C is competition with others of the same gender. "Look at me, I have it all! Look at you, you have nothing compared to me!"
Because they want to use your strengths for their benefit. The definition of Clinginess!!! My dad suffered deeply and I only realized this after his demise. He was made into the villain. Subconsciously however his personality did influence me positively. If not for his quiet, solid presence in my life I would have chosen narcissistic men as partners. A genuine person's actions speak louder than a narcissist's words.
I remember the ICU nurse at the hospital saying how sick my mom was. She was both physically and mentally ill. I look upon the narcissistic personality disorder as just that, a sickness that for many is untreatable. I was happy for her when she passed away.
After 24 years of marriage, & 2 days before my youngest daughter graduated high school he filed for divorce…it came as a surprise to me & my girls cuz he never said anything to any of us & he always said,.. “Cheaper to keep’er”! I think he expected me to be devastated and beg to stay but I didn’t! Once I finally realized I was dealing with a Covert Narcissist & set boundaries & said NO to intimacy (for the 1st Time) & stuck to it, I was discarded just like that & he treats me like a stranger he hates & has turned my 3 daughters against me as a way to control me now that he lost control when I left! He wants to hurt me so badly & has no regard whatsoever that what he’s doing is hurting his daughters! But hey, he’s a narc so it’s all about him & he doesn’t care who gets hurt!😩
Terrific video. You are exactly describing a man I dated for a few years. He was always describing that he was better than everyone including me usually behind my back., Sadly he could never understand why he wasn’t popular.
They don’t want us doing better than them
Bingo ..that's so true.
They don't want us to do well at all, especially without them.
@@thepaintedpoppies1010 Stop caring what others think.
Just Won the warmyself circle of 5 gens of horrifying psych abuse w demise of my Awesome single mother raised, dads DNA donor,monster r.i.piss
My narc ex really brought me down
I was a “good wife” that grew tired after 31 years! I literally spent half my life with this man and I am ashamed to say I still love him, but I love myself more ❤️
Gotcha…same here❤
It will get better it just takes time
My story almost to the letter
Exactly the same at nearly 35 yrs altogether knowing him..many of those I was married...the good times films in my head stop me moving forward properly 😒🙄
I feel the same
But my family won't hear it 😕 and if they do they literally YELL AT ME AND CALL ME NAMES. I'm hurting 💔
They do the most horrible things,then blame them all on you.
Yes. The most horrible things! So horrible, it's unbelievable. And then they call you crazy jealous.
Like constantly sleeping around and keeping someone on the side and then telling you that it's your fault?
Like constantly sleeping around and keeping someone on the side and then telling you that it's your fault?
She did. I would have never believed someone could be this way. Now I know better. I will be WAY more careful with my heart in the future.
They are reprobates. Vile demons who don't have a moral compass.
Sick and tired of narcs...selfish evil people😢😢😢😢
So many out there because its systemic .Yeah that is their key They don't consider or care who they hurt
@@catherinekatyakapralova5169 I know. I'm still trying to heal years after🥹🥹😭😭
@@mercyln6646 The 2 biggest problems for 99.999% of relationships having issues:
A - Delusions of superiority or inferiority
and
B - The all consuming need to be right/can't be wrong silliness.
Demon Spawn...? Mine isn't human. Alien? He ain't right, sick. Sick sick .. Glad I'm understanding why I spent too long with this predator, Demon Spawn, and others stayed even longer! Ugh... Feel for anyone that's been subjected to that life! It's a living nightmare. Go Women and men trying to get out. And did. My heros!
It's convenient to come home and have a meal waiting, laundry done, and be able to let out all that pent up rage on old reliable.
Oh yes oh have a disadvantaged niece/sister/cousin coming to meaningless family dinners to only mock and make this person sad and press painful buttons that provoke guilt shame and pain. So convenient and nice.
@@yeswing10 Not anymore!!! The Almighty pulled me out of THAT pit. Alleluia!
I was treated with such anger, disdain and hatred. NEVER understood why. Loved him till I escaped...despite the mistreatment. He was my husband. Are my eyes ever opened!
Wow-you just described my life
@@yeswing10 So, you hate him but "couldn't let go"... and you're here commenting under a clip of how NPDs stay stay with/can't let go of who they hate, aye?
Keep talking.
🍿
I Love the Block button on the phone ... just press block ,,,, and watch your life get better !!!
A good sign of the hate of the narcissist is that instead of feeling ashamed that we blocked them and want to find out what they did, they just get mad and gossip against us.
They can still leave voicemails. Should really just change phone number if you can.
Blocking 🚫 option anywhere is the best thing about the phone and social media.
That is what I did 😂
Yeah block number has been a great invention. Block and you get peace ✌
Theyre never wrong and they never apologize and if you think differently from them, you are wrong, even the enemy.
Unfortunately mine does "apologize" but it's always immediately followed up with "...but it was your fault"....it's the worst 😢
@@trackerelfim sorry. Not your fault. Its mine🫴
They feel good because they have PROJECTED all their evil onto you -- and energetically, they are actually dumping their darkness onto you. It's very destructive for the supportive partner. No way out except to leave.
Darkness from the demonic world!!! Coming from the Principalities Of Darkness!
ABSOLUTELY CORRECT.
Hard to leave for many of us with kids and no family support.
@@SilverSunPublishing I Praise God that I was rescued and was able to WALK AWAY!!! NO MORE CONTACT EVER AGAIN!!! God's protective hand is upon me!!! AMEN!!!
@@Sally-i8c Go to a church rescue mission. They can help you!!!
I have learned to walk away. Be loud or be silent when you go, just go. It hurts, but you heal. Don’t look back, keep moving forward!
Amen!!!
My husband of 17 years wants me to leave once our son leaves for university. He's giving me subtle signs. I was used,abused,and now about to be discarded. Planning to leave him soon. Wonder how he'll take it
@@lakshmisukumaran8036 ❤️it hurts. It really hurts. Stay strong in your resolve! Keep trucking! Move forward! 💪You are not alone! Millions of us out here!
AMEN ✝️🙏🏽
@@lakshmisukumaran8036subtle signs sounds like he's looking for a fight/excuses to justify his cheating. He probably is just waiting for the kid to go to college to avoid child support. And if he makes more money than you by a lot, he figured it's cheaper to keep you than to pay alimony.
Going No Contact is beautiful.
A True Break through!!!
I feel so free, best thing ever..... ❤
@WritingArcadia Yes and brings back your PEACE OF MIND!!!!
Eventually you start caring more about you and less about them until you prioritize yourself first and foremost and no longer care about them 😅
They want you as their Scapegoat x
Exactly
The narc will put down their partner to their new supply (contrasts) it’s crazy! If you talk to the new supply and hear how much they hate you, will blow your mind!
They want to blame me for everything
They need to point their finger at someone ,,,so they can avoid thinking about their miserable self ...a narc can never be alone .... ,,,an empty shell that needs to feed off other people ...
Bingo
No introspection... They're incapable of admitting fault or learning from mistakes... It's maddening
Facts running from person to person!
30 years and i am just waking up to this abuse! Heartbreaking
26 years and just finding out I am married to a narcissist.
17 years and just got out
The same to me 30 yrs.
26 years.
Together over 40 years and I’ve been blindsided until 4 years ago. SMH 🤦🏽♀️
Oh they definetly can let you go when they are tired or boring of you, when they can't get what they want from you, they just discard you like you are not even a person
Ja dat is precies wat je zegt, sterkte
@@Néerlandais-p1q What?
same…grandkids too!
Or if a better option comes along!
That's exactly what happens in many cases because they don't all have the same behaviours, yet others do get stuck on one person and refuse to let them move on! 😥
This is soooo true! I was my mother’s failure child. The poor woman who was forced to endure raising me. Also dated a narc for 7 years who made himself the victim to his friends because I was so “horrible”. Behind closed doors they are cruel and manipulative. Outside the home they go out of their way to help every stranger they encounter. Finally woke up and walked away. He tried to get me back by claiming “ I’m just realizing now that what we had was special.” It took you 7 years to realize that? I just smiled and said “ Awwww….THANKS Clark”. His face just FELL. He was so sure I would come running back . I think about that moment a lot and am proud of how I handled it .
EXACTLY! In the narcissist story U WILL ALWAYS BE THE VILLAIN and they will be either and/or the victim or the hero. IT NEVER FAILS!!!
Fax
True
So true!! I spent 12yrs in this toxic dance with a diagnosed borderline. These relationships will kill you eventually, the mental anguish, gaslighting, manipulation, chronic abuse, your mental and physical health starts to fail.
I have 2 children with her and have custody because of 3 CPS cases against her.
Its finally over now, I left her , and took my kids with me.
I'm in therapy, it's no longer about her, but about why I stayed 12yrs in this. Finding out that the borderline is the symptom of my unresolved childhood issues, which is why I was attracted to this sickness in the first place.
The longer you stay, the darker it gets, you have to be masochistic or suicidal to stay. The chronic stress will kill you, or you will eventually lose your mind and possibly kill them or yourself.
I'm fully convinced the spiritual element to this is demonic.
My 24 yr old nice son who had lots going for him killed himself wishing the narrsist girl a good life
I absolutely agree with you about the spiritual aspect to this.
@@laurieclark2456I’m so sorry …..dammit…
Definitely The Devil's puppets
I'm a borderline my ex is a narc . Maybe we belong to each other 😂
I always wondered why my ex husband treated me with such disdain and contempt. I always said why are you treating me like your enemy. He was extremely abusive and then would act completely harmless and so giving to thise outside of our home. No matter how kind and giving i was, he treated me horribly and always moved the goalposts. Physically assaulted me. Targetted our children as well while lying about me to anyone who would listen to him. Even tried to smear me to our children. So many lies. Even our therapist told him to stop making me his scapegoat.
Glad to be divorced. And rebuilding my life that he completely destroyed when i went no contact and left him.
That's just horrible, I've been there. Glad you're free.
@@cymbolichuman433 You made it out too. Our numbers are growing. We usually escape mentally first. Our support of each other helps us & the recipient to heal. I’m glad you shared too ❤️🩹
I’m proud of you for making it out of that toxic relationship. It takes courage & inner strength to rescue yourself. May you have peace, love & happiness 💕🌹
My son once told me, “momma daddy don’t treat everybody like that when he is out around other people, only you.”
I'm happy you were able to get out of that Toxic relationship. There is nothing like a "Peace of Mind".😊😊😊
“ they need you, in their life, ( in order ) to be a bad person. They revel in their evil. You, are their sucker, who they can practice their evil on. Around you, they get to, “ let their hair down, and be their true evil self, and live their true life.
Around other people, they have to behave, be fake, be false.
So read that again: “ they need you, in their life, to be a bad person “.
Their true nature is evil. They need you in their life to be their true nature and live up to their true selves.
Never thought of it like that,but you are on point with that.
Very chilling!
😂@@aisharedux781
You are right on the nose! They never show their real DEMONIC self around others. It's like they try to make you look bad for talking about them because no one else has never seen it. Its crazy what these people are capable of.
Yes, they are Evil. I looked at him today and Evil is what I saw and thought he was. I can't wait to be free of this Monster.
Don't forget,never forget how dangerous they are.
Please tell me us more, I am dealing with a narc, sometimes thinking he’s dangerous too.
@@phuongdao7274just focus on your life and leave them behind! Say to yourself that ' you worth more than anything else in this Universe'' they always think they are right and that sucks! Just leave your life and never let them
Belittle you or ruin your life
Sometimes it takes a great villian to create a great hero.
😂❤
👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
I want them to leave me alone. They want to keep me around so they can gaslight me and torture me and blame me for the gaslighting and torture.
Make that 3 C's: convenience, contrast and CONTROL
I had a narcissist explain it to me once. She said it was like an addiction. Narcissists get addicted to contact with their prey. They need to be around the people feeding their ego as much as possible. They eventually begin to resent you for being addictive and for making you need and want you so badly. They blame you for their lack of impulse control and unhealthy boundaries. The idea of contrast seems to make sense but if you unpack this more you can understand it better. The contrast is the "over/under" game. When you are in a great mood they have to play under to your over because that's the game. When you're down they're going to play over and have a happy disposition in the face of your suffering. The real core of this behavior is the desire the need the addiction to serotonin. The dominant position in the relationship gives them serotonin. This is human nature and this is why narcissists get addicted to people they can dominate people that submit to them. The act and acknowledgement (submission) to the dominant social position is the drug because that releases serotonin and some dopamine too.
True.
wow.. this in other words is exactly what is they actually start TO FEEL something. my ex told me once ,,youre humanising me!!! i dont know what to do with that!!"
That's a beautifully written precise description! ❤
This is so so true!!!!! Block everything possible and HEAL. Walk away and do not look back. Do not be their supply, and their supply takes different forms. Do Not Be Used By Them For Their Personal Entertainment. They truly only use people for their own twisted needs. Move On.
❤
Every time I try to go no contact I get so sick and sicker and sicker so how can I heal ? I don't understand it
@@lauralittle6899same is happening with me. Going around a Narc person can also make you sick. Because the Narc is your Mom, I think that's what makes it hard on our mental and physical health.
@@kimlogan1278 Nobody "makes you sick". You are giving away your power to change, by blaming others on the nasty feelings that you refuse to contend with.
@lauralittle6899 it's like withdrawing from a drug. You will stay chronically stressed with them. You will feel horrible when u leave BUT you can heal. Some of the reason why you feel horrible is because you also have to face your own demons that led you to stay and put up with it in the first place.
Literally my mom constantly texting me how bad I am and how much I must hate her and am evil but yet she keeps bothering ME
The narcissist is identified as the one trying to control other people.
Go "grayrock" and silence yourself. Darn narcs are hateful.
Me too! Horrible!
you met my Ex.....
It’s your mom it shouldn’t be a bother there is something wrong with that outlook.
It’s crazy that ppl actually have this mentality. That they get a thrill from the hurt they inflict. I’m so glad I left and never looked back. 2 years no contact!!!! 👊🏽✌🏽👋🏽
This explains those people who can't live without having a partner in their life.
True
Wasted 17+ years with a woman who treated me like shit every day. Great info.
Spent a year falling for a narc. He made me fall for him with kindness and love id never thought id feel. Then when i shared my feelings pushed me away in such a brutal way. Took me time to recover. I started dating other men so he tried to weasle his way in again. Then he decided we were a couple and told people without telling me! Accusing me of cheating and sleeping around. When it came to a head, i tried to speak with him and he told me i was crazy. Used his best friend as a way to invite jealousy and fears. She played along knowingly! This opened up a whole bunch of unnecessary pain for me. I questioned myself and my reality on things. The gaslighting was atrocious. When i finally walked away, he and his circle made my life a hell i wouldnt wish on my worst enemy. They destroyed my reputation and ran my self esteem into the ground. They are so careful and use the victim status like a flag. Im ao glad nothing ever truly developed. He had me fooled. He took advantage of my kindness and openness for his own selfish needs. Never again. Truly, be careful out there.
I watched my MIH deal with her narcissistic hisband. She was with him for over 30 years before she died of the dis-ease called cancer. She made so many excuses for his verbal, emotional and sometimes physical abuse. He killed her through his behavior. Now I find myself with one. These people are dis-eases and will kill us. We have to find peace and joy and escape their malignant abuse.
father of my narc ex (VERY NARC) also made his wife get cancer. she told me... that was the time she told herself enough
14:17 Our 20-year wedding anniversary was on October 9th, 2024, but I'm almost ready to walk out the door. I just have a few loose ends to tie up, and then me and my 10 children are out! Please pray for us.
Your the problem not him
10 kids! I’m praying for you, please stay strong 😢!
It’s scary especially with so many children, it’s never impossible though. You CAN do this not only for yourself for your children too. I will be praying for you.
@@sandihargreaves2403 you would think after the first kid y’all would come to your senses women always play the victim
October 9th is our anniversary FML
These points that you make are golden! They want you to light yourself up like a torch , so they can feel warm. disgusting.
I used to ask him how he can treat me with such hatred. He can go from placid to totally abusive, screaming that his eyes seem they will pop out. And it confused me and made me exhausted. Mentally I could not fathom what it was.
Now i do. I am on the way out. He will not see this coming.
The best of luck to you! Godspeed.
You're right I have so much love to give but I wasn't receiving it back
Me neither. Give, give, give never received.
You are ABSOLUTELY right. I was in a Narc marriage for years. And let me tell you, it was pure hell once we had gotten a house together. For example; disappearing acts, no communication, a lot of accusations, bleached my clothes, burned me with own flat irons, punched me in my head, constantly cheating, and the list goes on. The relationship was over after 7 years of his bs. To make it worse, i have a Narc Mom who doesn't give damn about noone but herself.
Same here
@@skylinestudioofficial So, you hated him but "couldn't let go"... and you're here commenting under a clip of how NPDs stay stay with/can't let go of who they hate, aye?
Keep talking.
🍿
Not a fair assessment after one write up!@BAsed_AFro
It is because of having a narc mom that you most likely fell into another narc relationship because your tolerance for it was higher than most unfortunately....
Same here, I got away from him but my evil mother is still stealing my things at 79.
The 2 biggest problems for 99.999% of relationships having issues:
A - Delusions of superiority or inferiority
and
B - The all consuming need to be right/can't be wrong silliness.
Thank you. I needed this tonight, I finally cut him off. Blocked and going to try to heal. I feel like I don’t know myself anymore after I seen it was all lies.
Sad for you. I know how it feels
Me too
Prayers 🙏 for you to feel safer again May the Lords angel wings protect you 🕊️🕊️
me too...feel you
You did good!! Look forward and do not give into his inevitable appeals to come back. Do not relent from your decision!! You are free
Thanks. People need to just leave them! You don't need narc permission to leave!!!
5 years ago,your videos helped save my life, I didn't know what I was experiencing. Being involved with narcissism was depressing, insulting, and gave me low self-esteem. It has taken about 2 years of healing. I also learned the different kind of narcissistic behaviors. It's really sickness. I don't get involved anymore. These people are everywhere and they are TRASH.
Sorry you went through that
So true never trust anyone
They need you to be the bad person so they can use you as their excuse always for their bad choices like cheating. They also need you to be the bad person so they can make themselves feel better like they're good like how they portray to the outside world. They need someone that will stroke their egos, put up with their never ending abuse & take their fear of being alone away. They'll treat you like dirt, despise you but when you try to ask them on why continue the so called relationship they will act like they have no idea what you're talking about, avoid you or gaslight you telling you that they do really love you & want to be with you but their actions show the complete opposite. It's very sickening how they are so perfectly content being in the most dysfunctional relationship. If you try to question them on why there's no affection, no intimacy, no communication pretty much nothing left they will become angry & treat you like you're in the wrong for questioning them & for having any hurt feelings from the choices they're making that is ruining the relationship.
Narcissists are the best at portraying the victim especially when they cheat. They will blame their faithful partner for their cheating, finding & using the most pathetic reasons for their cheating. They'll manipulate & gaslight their partners into believing that they were in the wrong for the narcissist cheating. It is one of the worst forms of mental & emotional abuse being a so called relationship with a narcissist. They will drain, beat you down, break you till you have absolutely nothing left.
True psyhopat people
Thanks for mentioning the word convenience never be a convenience.
You can’t leave because you are their life source. If you leave they collapse and die.
They were fine before they met us, they should be fine after being without us.
They are like vampires ! Evil to the core ! When their lifesource is gone, they collapse and die !!!
Which is why some need restraining orders
Not always the case they replace you if they can. The minute they have another sucker lined up they will be willing to let you go if they come out looking like the good guy.
@@vr8921 True. Then the stalking begins. They never let you go.
Psychedelics are just an exceptional mental health breakthrough. It's quite fascinating how effective they are against depression and anxiety. Saved my life.
Can you help with the reliable source I would really appreciate it. Many people talk about mushrooms and psychedelics but nobody talks about where to get them. Very hard to get a reliable source here in Australia. Really need!
dr.zachary3 is the man
On Instagram?
Yes
Psychedelic is the answer to most severe anxiety and depression. The use of magic mushrooms completely helps one get over depression and makes you feel like yourself.
This blew my mind.. first weeks in the marriage I kept saying to him I'm not your enemy... then my friends would comment that he was so childish and I began to see him as peter pan.. every birthday for him is another tantrum over getting old.. finally after 33 years together I'm getting it... 2 years ago, I said to him I'm not your enemy... this time he replied... I'm not so sure! The blinkers are off now and I too mourn and wonder how was I so deceived!... but my point is this video has resonated so deeply by me even thinking of him as peter pan!
I am not your enemy is something i used to say to my ex narcissistic partner constantly from the way he responded to and debated me as if we was not meant to be on the same team 😢
My ex sucked the life out of me, I have 3 small children, he held the purse strings, it was hard, he convinced me to sell my home and then left me. He made the settlement on my birthday 🎂. This man took out a $250,000 insurance policy, I had three attempts on my life. They are dangerous dangerous.
My soon to be ex wanted to sell our house but I busted him cheating and kicked him out before he had all his plans made.
@@teresacastanedacastaneda6555Im so proud of you! You go, girl!👑🙏🏾📖
@teresacastanedacastaneda6555 good, take control only legal and don't talk to him, only talk to him via your solicitor lawyer
@@Peonia-Melbournehe is running from being served the temp court orders that have been signed. I blocked him already, told him I never want to talk to him. He can text about house, truck payments but nothing else.
Boundless outlaws they don't believe that any rules apply to their perfect sells yes never underestimate the dangerousity, if that's a word, of the Narcissist!!
Sadly, like many here, I lived this mess. Im now free after 13 years
Me too! We are not alone even if we have felt alone for years . I was in to for 11 years.
@@Thaspicy1 glad you are out of that Chaos 🙏
Absolutely. I’m the bad guy and I’m convenient for him. 28 years I’ve been married to this self centered jerk. I’m finally starting to look at divorce options. He absolutely hates me and it’s obvious! Glad I finally wised up and healed some of the childhood trauma. Thank you Kevin!
Exactly! they hate u but they refuse to leave u alone, let u leave or just have nothing to do with u. ITS WEIRD! Even a narcissistic boss at a job. They hate u and then when u get sick of the abuse and quit on that asz they got a attitude. These people are batshyt crazy!!! Had a covert malignant narcissist female I dated like that. I think she. had a comorbidity with borderline personality and when I got sick of the abuse and tried to leave she would literally fight me and stop me from leaving. ITS CRAZY!! They expect u to just stay there and tolerate the abuse no matter what they do. And then when u get away narcy starts up a narcissist/BPD smear campaign to still try to control u or affiliate themselves to u long after u got away from them.
Yes indeed! All of their tactics are mind boggling! Yes it's an attack on your MIND, your inner peace to break you. I've been through it from every angle, from parent, relationships, and jobs. We're living in some sad times now. No humanity and respect for one another.
I always felt like an inconvenient convenience. Lying, backlighting, breadcrumbing, the mental and emotional abuse and sometimes even suttle physical abuse, no intimacy, always making me feel like I was the problem. Got together in 2000 and married in 2006 and finally had the courage to end it in August this year. Feel he still feels that this is just a separation and we will be together again. For now am healing. This relationship almost destroyed me, it definitely destroyed my life and are having to start from scratch at the age of 62.
I'm the opposite, if someone is toxic or even just incompatible, I ignore them. I have no reason to entertain bad connections.
My mother is like this. She goes around telling everyone bad things about her kids butv tells people how great she is and how she helps everyone. People think she's wonderful but shes a piece of sh!t.
Got one just like her! It’s just terrible.
My mother and my monster-in law are both like that.
My mother told lies and alienated all my relatives. It's a small town so I moved away. She took everything you can take from a person. Everyone loved her. Noone would believe how she treated me. It's such a mind f**k.
Momster!!!
I have that same Demon also. You described them monsters very well.😂
I really needed to here this. Thank you. I was a conveince. I took care of everything for him. That ended November 2023. I left and filed for divorce. I can now breathe.
For the ones who need to hear this, we all (including I) ought to accept that some people are really bad deeds. Do not spend your goodness, kindness and tolerance with those people. Just accept this fact and walk away. Do not even spend your time why they are like that unless you are psychiatrist.
They hold onto you because for one they don't want you happy ,2 your a backup supply when all others fail ,3 just flat out evil soulless beings .
It hurt so deeply to learn that the woman I dated and married didn't actually exist. The abuse started 6 months after the wedding, and became progressively worse over the years. At 20-1/2 years of marriage, I am now in the discard stage of divorce.
The lessons are branded on your heart now. Sounds like this person is stealing your life out from under you day after day. Wishing you peace happiness and healthy relationships in your next chapter.
@@ap5445 Delusions of superiority/inferiority along w the "I can't be wrong!" silliness are most like your #1 biggest issues there.
the Narc is emotionally immature, and to face up to this and seek therapy from a therapist or psychologist is not an option for them, denotes a sign of failure on their part...its actually a sign of real intelligence to fix a problem
They only want you to make themselves happy. Contrast at its finest
The relationship usually does look like garbage behind closed doors. Me and my ex weren't intimate near the end but in public he'd try to show affection. It's so twisted
Exactly he hated me for no reason I never gave him a reason
Mine compared me to his x wife all the time and his whole family mixed me up with his brothers x wife who has the same name as me held me accountable for things I didn't do and wouldn't even dream of.doing what she did. It took me years to find out what I was being hated and excluded for and to this day we meaning my x brothers and sisters and inlaws whom I liked very much and want to have a relationship with .. shut me out.
You don't have to find a reason. We fixate on the negative, so we will find what ever speck of "bad" (usually based on opinion) in you and snowball it in our minds to a hundred more "bad" traits you have, to make you fatally flawed. You really aren't.
Yep, I'm the bad person. She is the attacker and the victim. It's really impressive. I stand in awe, to be honest.
😆 It's mind-blowing
I'm a sigma empath who attracts narcissists like moths to flame. Older and wiser now, it's actually comical now how predictable and non unique they are. But criminal how unsuspecting empaths are left wide open to these predators. It should be taught in schools how to avoid them. But up til now, in modern his story, these types control societies. Til we wake up and take our power back. These vampires need us, we don't need them.
Blessed are those who leave and the narc leaves them alone. My life has become his post leaving.
It took me a minute to realize I was only there to deflect from him and his addiction . Blamed me for everything .
Oh my, now I understand! My narc is my mother. We've always known she loves to fight and argue, now I understand why. It gives her the opportunity to be the better person and play the victim all while calling me every vile thing she can think of. I now see this is done to make me the bad guy while she plays the hapless injured victim Thank you for shedding light on this. Now I understand her toxic need to create arguments and antagonize. I live with this person and am definitely a convenience for her. Always have known that. I have ruined my life by helping her in her old age. I can't get out of her trap. Help me!😮!!!!
I had a mother like this only child 7 yrs old told me she hated me cuz looked like her motherinlaw ,my grandma it is horrible I am sorry you are going thru this but it wont be forever before she passed she accused me of try to steal the house and money everything. actually the money and house was part of my inheritance from my grandma she controlled it she manipulated my dad in the will to leave her everything
Bingo. Contrasting and convenience are the reasons he does not want to let me go. Thank you, Kevin.
Same
This video honestly brought me to tears. Everything you have said is happening to me. I met him at 42 and then I turned 43. He asked me to marry him six months in. He had a 7 year old son who lived with him. He was 46, Right after the marriage nothing happened. The marriage was fake. He yelled at me constantly. I have been with this monster since 2002 and it is now 2024. I wasted so many years. Now I'm late 60's. I feel it is too late to find love. Real love. I'm so discouraged and angry. He wears that damn wedding ring like a badge. I never wear mine. I know he wears it to look important and special. I have battled with him for years and you never win. It gets crueler and meaner. He retired and discarded me. Gives me no attention and is always up in his bedroom or office posting pictures on facebook. All day and night. Never talks with me or watches anything on TV anymore. It's so abusive and hurtful. I am leaving. I tried last year but I had a dog that was dying and didn't want to make it harder on her by moving her into another place. She died in 2003. Her brother is with me now and he has cancer. Now I'm stuck because I just can't move until he is gone. I don't want him to be gone but I can see the change in him. So I have to wait all of this out. Thank you for your words, you nailed it.
Secretly join a dom abuse group & get the help to get out
The dog will feel loved and comforted even if you move. I think you should move now.
@ I had to let go of my dog to save my life
Now I understand all the false accusations!
I’m always fighting stories about myself that were made up and untrue. I was at this place the seat on my car in a different position who was in there I was seen in another state. It was exhausting. None of these things were true. I had to be the bad person.
The Shadow needs the light to exist.
I was a combo of both to my ex-husband. He didn’t love me, didn’t like me, couldn’t even name one thing about me bc he never bothered to learn about me. I gave him status and was made to be the bad guy, so he could feel good about his miserable self. (His entire family did the same.) So I finally divorced him.
@writer1986 wow....I think this is what I'm experiencing. Been questioning this very thing, and his families the same. I'm not alone apparently. Interesting perspective. Thank you
This is such a smack in the face. I remember early in finding out about his cheating that I said, you don't love me, you love what I have created with you, what I make. A family, a social structure. I could see the hate for me in the actions that he took and told him that. I also remember asking him to let me go. The trauma bond was still really strong at this time. The validation is high today, thank you.
All I know is I've been basically screaming to get out of here for at least 6 years now with no luck. I'm still here. Still in this HELLISH "marriage" with no way out.
Me too 😢 no money,no family and I'm sick and disabled.
Totally empty marriage. Nothing going on but abuse and anger.
50 ways to leave your lover. After 44 yrs with someone I thought truly loved me , I am now realizing that it was only what “I “ believed it to be,… @ 70yrs old, and now I understand what he was saying to me. I ran out on him in my 20’s , a family member asked him why he didn’t just let me go, he said “because I need her “ … there it was,so long ago
Oh My... He promised me the world.
Yeah they want me around so they can blame me for everything and not take any responsibility for their own behavior. I want them to let me go so bad.
I did. I called him out about everything. That's why he left. I filed for the divorce, paid for the divorce! I blocked him on all of my doors. He can take his bad show elsewhere!!!!
A free uplifting shift of self, consciousness, and awareness. Im opening my eyes after so many years of neglect and people pleasing and Im using my emotions and awareness as regulation for my own happiness
Ask yourself "Do you want to give your attention to someone like this for your lifetime?" There is so much better out there and more deserving.
Thank you so much for this. I did go totally incommunicado with this person-no phone calls, letters, nothing. They tried to get in contact. ZERO response from me. I never regretted this decision for even one millisecond. I only experienced blessed peace that I never knew when this person was in my life. I finally could breathe freely.
I feel really sorry for all the women that were trapped in narcissistic abuse for many many years because of marriage. I saw first hand how it affects people's life's and health
Do you feel sorry for all of the men who have been abused by narcissistic women?
They lock you in with children…difficult to escape
@@Bobbymac28yes - both ways! Women are often more dependent because of kids and lack of money but woman narc ruins the whole family mentality
My evil mother abused my father.
If you aren't sorry for men and women alike, you might be a narc.
Another eyeopener about narcist marriage!
Personally, I learn as much from the comments. Thanks to all of you who share ❤
Left my narc husband 5 years ago after 25 years of marriage. Thought I still loved him, but as I read here, that is NOT LOVE, it is trauma bond. Very helpful!
5 years free after 27 years married to a narcissist. If you are still with a narcissist, leave now. No explanation. Just be gone. When you get away it’s like being pardoned from death row. You can be happy
I'm scared to leave . My two kids are small and I'm scared of them being raised in a broken family the way I was. So I stay and suffer. I've lost my mind. I'm depressed and just fake that I'm okay near the kids and cry when they've gone to sleep.
I have walked away from my family. Overwhelming feeling to tell them why! Let them know why, express my anger and thoughts on each of them.
There's many definitions on Narcissism but this is the one that I needed the most.
Their games and ups and downs and emotional mazes can trap you for years.
F this mess l...... I'm outta here.
Distracting them from facing themself wow I see now why my ex would not leave me alone
I have walked away from my brother. It's taken till I'm 62 to do it, to disentangled from business with him too. I feel like I've cut off an ugly wart!!! Im free at last, and have peace and tranquillity in my life.. finally 🕊
This is excellent, thank you.
I just had a huge blowout with my partner of 21 years. I let him trigger the anger button and it turned into a screaming match. I actually shouted "why do you hate me so much!" I just want peace. I want to stop crying. I want a different life. 😢
Because he hates himself... cry and let it out, it is painful, I know all to well. Learn how to respond and (breathe) reacting only fules them and exhausts you. Believe in yourself enigma, you got this!! Love and light to you xx
Say nothing.. This just validates why they hate you. This is playing into their game of them being the victim. Do not react, build another life behind the scenes, live a double life for a while, as this is all they did from day one. Then step into this other life, and leave. @@lorraine4345
18yrs dealing with alllll of this!
2 years of therapy for me & my childern.
Further 2 years re building our lives to a normal way which is fabulous.
I'm free..x..
It's not always 'hate' as you mentioned.
Convenience often exists without hate.
It's when they have to wash their own clothes for the first time in 17 yrs. , THEY HATE YOUR GUTS... IF YOU HAVE BEEN A "BITCH" BY NOT MAKING THEIR DINNER WHEN THEY GET HOME AT 2 30 a.m. FROM "WORK", THEY HATE YOU!!! HOW ABOUT THIS, THEY HAVE SUDDEN CARDIAC ARREST IN YOUR PRESENCE... YOU DO CPR IMMEDIATELY, BRING LIFE BACK INTO THEIR BODY AND HATE YOU EVEN WORSE THAN BEFORE... 😂😂😂 TALK ABOUT STUPID 😅😂😅... THEY GO BAT SHIT WHEN THEY CAN'T FIND YOU 😂😂😅... PAYBACK IS A BITCH.... 😂😂
YESSS IT IS.... WE ARE TALKING ABOUT NARCISSISTS... YOU WILL DO WHAT THEY DESIRE OR THEY HATE YOU...
@@rocbotum8 , i think some do. But i've experienced and known many types of narcissists and i think some actually love me and others that they 'use and 'abuse' .
It is not a black and white type of situation.
I needed to hear this. He acts like he hates me but wants me to stay. When I don't want to play his game, then he wants to kick me out. My BF emotionally blackmails me when I'm at my weakest.😢
The competition among men AND women for the "appearance" of a good life is powerful. The third C is competition with others of the same gender. "Look at me, I have it all! Look at you, you have nothing compared to me!"
That's always a consolation to their pride to make them forget how miserable they are.
Because they want to use your strengths for their benefit. The definition of Clinginess!!! My dad suffered deeply and I only realized this after his demise. He was made into the villain. Subconsciously however his personality did influence me positively. If not for his quiet, solid presence in my life I would have chosen narcissistic men as partners. A genuine person's actions speak louder than a narcissist's words.
I remember the ICU nurse at the hospital saying how sick my mom was. She was both physically and mentally ill. I look upon the narcissistic personality disorder as just that, a sickness that for many is untreatable. I was happy for her when she passed away.
After 24 years of marriage, & 2 days before my youngest daughter graduated high school he filed for divorce…it came as a surprise to me & my girls cuz he never said anything to any of us & he always said,.. “Cheaper to keep’er”! I think he expected me to be devastated and beg to stay but I didn’t! Once I finally realized I was dealing with a Covert Narcissist & set boundaries & said NO to intimacy (for the 1st Time) & stuck to it, I was discarded just like that & he treats me like a stranger he hates & has turned my 3 daughters against me as a way to control me now that he lost control when I left! He wants to hurt me so badly & has no regard whatsoever that what he’s doing is hurting his daughters! But hey, he’s a narc so it’s all about him & he doesn’t care who gets hurt!😩
He wanted me completely dependent on him
Terrific video. You are exactly describing a man I dated for a few years. He was always describing that he was better than everyone including me usually behind my back., Sadly he could never understand why he wasn’t popular.
4:02 this is so correct. Thank you for explaining this very well
Give them as little or absolutely nothing to work with.