I was a single dad of 2. Living on the Canadian USA border in The Arrowhead of minnesota. It's wasn't easy. Parenting is tough. But think about the times you live in and the country you live in. You couldnt have it much better. Go forth and do good work. :)
divorce rate is so high in this society. single patent homes outnumbered two parent homes. People are choosing single parenthood rather than choosing to stay married in an unhappy situation. Why dont we ask ourselves why dont men do the honorable thing anymore and marry these women. Why so many couples cheat on their partners. So many single moms are made through divorce because their partners who they love and trusted betrayed them. This can happen both ways. We are too quick to judge. There are single moms that work have careers and are providing for their children in an honorable manner. what about fathers who are not providing child support.Thats sad. Men not taking care of their families. In the end you often hear the child once he/she is an adult say in a proud voice I had the best mom. She raised me on her own, through her hard work and dedication she put me through university. I owe all my success to her. Im very proud that she is my mom. My father you asked I dont know where he is. I guess he wasnt man enough to man up to his responsibility.
Feeling Blessed actually thats statistically incorrect. If women were so innocent and loved their boyfriends then they would do the right thing and get married first before thinking that 'he'd make a good dad'. The true motive is that ALL women want to have babies mix that in with their insecurities and thats what drives them to make poor descions with jerks who are obviously not father material. The birth of the child is all in the females hands from the kind of guy she lets have sex with her to the measures she uses to control pregnancy. Women need to stop with the excuses that the pregnancy was an accident. Most single mothers like that without marriage. Its not like they married a good and they all changed.
The "honorable" thing would be to *marry* the single women? To live on the back burner, to support someone whose loyalty is to no one but herself and her children...to become her next victim, thrown to the curb (or worse, falsely accused of "abuse") when she found someone else with more money? This is not honor, it is masochism.
The failure is in the lack understanding the word duty. From a man marrying a woman he does not yet love to a woman being worthy of loving by being a great partner, it is about the duty to the children.
I'm surprised at some really ignorant comments here. Thank God for single moms who actually choose life for their babies and dedicate their lives to raising their children. Babies are gifts from God. Who are we to judge anyone? Not all single moms were single when they had a child. Many are from broken marriages or serious relationships that go very wrong. No one should be in a bad relationship or marriage "for the kids", especially when there is abuse (in any form) or addictions. Think twice before you judge someone.
"Who are we to judge anyone?" We are the people living in society with the animals they raise. We are also the people paying the welfare they get. You want us to not judge? Do a better job parenting or at the very least stop giving single moms welfare. You can't take a handful of successful single mothers and rule out the majority and the impact they have on society due to their poor choices in mates. (Widows and etc are the exception and even they do better raising kids) Just look at the statistics.
I am to be single mother and as much as it hurts to bring a baby and raise him/her in such unfortunate circumstances, I can not immagine myself choosing death for my unborn child. I can not go to a clinic and consider it as a medical waste, like a cancer you want to get rid off. I will choose life for my baby!
Better yet, how about don't drive him away, or throw him away? (He probably was committed, like most men before they are discarded in favor of wealthier ones.)
candlumland2010 you didn't have to chose death. you could have chosen birth control and above that. you could have chose a guy to get pregnant by that wouldn't be a deadbeat.
Hey, single proud mom here. You have a choice, actually we have a choice as moms to have a baby or not, whatever the world says or whatever beliefs you have... I will not judge you.. Be happy if you choose to be a mom, it is a choice, regardless the situation, and celebrate your child's life. It is incredible how much love will come out of you for this single being, and be proud of it;). And also, please think of yourself as a whole complete family circle, nothing is missing, just different. You understand? Hugs whatever choice you make , you both deserve it.
Single moms coming for encouragement DO NOT READ THE COMMENTS. This video seems to have triggered a lot of people. Just do the absolute best you can, try to get the dad involved if possible, and find a support system.
I don't think it's to be mean. Their just saying women need to make better choices in the type of men they choose to lay down with. I beleive that's what the bottom line is.
Spacely Man To assume she and other single mothers don’t reflect is the issue with all the comments. Please tell me you as an individual have never had a misstep in life and decided to deal with it maturely. Please tell me that you don’t live with yourself everyday enough to know where to hold yourself accountable. That’s the problem...all these negative comments are based in a better than mentality which is the true failure of humanity. Once people get away from the idea that a woman choosing a responsible path (which is subjective and not worth debating), while the men on the other end go about their business and carry on or MGTOW, humanity will shift. Until then, please judge away and I pray your life goes as perfectly as you continue to judge.
Truth sucks, single mothers are a plague to society - regardless of their intentions, not enough of them raise children properly. Just google the statistics.
@Roos Sweli right. They missed out on seeing their mom get hit, choked, called bitches and whores. Then daddy saying sorry I love you then doing it all over again. Learning that's what love is. Then repeating the cycle all over again. Passing it down to the next generation. They missed out on so much.
My thoughts exactly. People talking about how single moms chose to be single and so many other assumptions. People who've never been through a situation with no empathy for other human beings. That's what wrong with the world.
I am so full of myself ... well educated me, got pregnant without planning to, with someone I did not plan to have a baby with and who did not plan to have a baby with me. Hence he Pumped & Dumped me ... but that was no justification for you being a self-centred dartboard, forcing a child to be a child to a single parent, especially not one that is so obsessed with feeding her ego.
Children in single parent homes are more likely to have depression. Children in single parent homes are more likely to do badly in school. Children in single parent homes are more likely to have bad relationships. Children in single parent homes are more likely to go to prison. Children in single parent homes are more likely etc.etc.etc in nearly all ways children in single parent homes are worse off.
everything correct, however, you didn't mention that MOST single parent homes are female-run, and that in MOST single father homes these ailments do not occur. hmmm. . . .
@@mgtow-balance3409 single fathers have higher income usually, anyway, you shouldnt blame only women, what about men who run away from responsabilities?
@@susuilu Most single moms are the result of divorces. 70% of divorces are filed by women. Most common reason for divorces is finances. Most single moms are result of greed and selfishness. They choose to break the bond between father and child just because of $$$.
Thank you. I was crying the whole time. I have the same experience as you. And you really made me think about what I have been saying to myself about being a single Mom.
everything she mentioned about the struggle of being a single mom, is why you don't bang out of marriage. -rebrand it all you want, it doesn't change reality. -vote in benefits all you want, the state will run out of money that it doesn't have. rebranding the title attempting to avoid shaming. doesn't address or solve the problem. typical.
Single moms are nothing but a financial liability . Literally a man can be forced to pay for a child that’s not his just because it is in the “best interest.” Get rid of the professional mommy environment first and then we might feel safe dating them.
Every single mom (except one) I know is a good mom or excellent mom. Better than some married moms. Their kids do very well or are grown now and doing better than average (med school, or success in the military, respectful, married sucessfully or doing very well independently). So, these stereotypes, I don't see any evidence that it's because of single moms, it's more about whether a parent is a good parent. Lots of people who are really screwed up came from homes that had both parents. I live in Oregon, but again, all the single moms I know are good moms.
you don't see any evidence because you choose not to see. all you have to do is google the stats and you WILL see. question is, when are you going to stop being intellectually lazy?
I always fail to understand the negative comments and wonder why people are so quick to have a generalised belief that a child raised by one parent is negative for all children. There are dysfunctional children that come from both single parent households and households with two parents. I feel that the point being missed is that a child needs to be nurtured and have strong boundaries and positive role models whoever that may be. There is an agenda that has been pushed by the media that single mothers are negative and its mainly small minded people who buy into this fallacy, in just the same way that small minded people support all other labels that create discrimination and harassment towards what they fear or hold hatred towards. The data and information that we receive is inconclusive, it is important to understand not just the data we read but also the agenda behind the data, as data can be manipulated to fit a desired outcome in order to arrive at a specific conclusion.
It is unfortunate that many of the negative comments are A- mean and B- not really accurate in that they make sweeping generalizations. But your comment does the same thing. The data is the data and it overwhelming points to - on the whole, statistically speaking - single parent homes having wayyy poorer outcomes. Yes, data can be manipulated to arrive at a conclusion but the fact is most scholars doing this type of research have a heavy liberal bent (social worker researchers are some of the most progressive academics out there). It really looks like it's the sympathetic progressives here that are manipulating the data by grasping on to anecdotal stories like this, to fit your (ultimately false and harmful) narrative that this is a good thing. It's so funny, people on the left brand themselves are more scientific and logical but when they bump up against hard findings that don't fit their worldview they dismiss them with post-modern, "truth is elusive" style arguments. Positions that start with the outcome they want and then they rationalize until they can come at what they want. Saying things like "you don't understand how power works" or "what it's like to be a single mom" subtly gives you, the speaker, an exclusive claim to the truth. From a epistemological / scientific method viewpoint you are really not on solid ground when you argue like this.
Thank you for commenting on my post. It will be interesting in years to come to analyse the statistics of the new emergent single parents, who are the professional men and women who opt to be single parents. It will be important data as then we will understand if single parenting is the issue or if the crux of the matter is also predominantly economical. Do richer parents make for better parents? Does having more money make one a better parent? Do two parent families make for better parents? In a two parent family does it make for better parenting if the parents are of opposite genders? Is a single parent a better parent if they are economically better off? Is a single parent a better parent if they have extended family support? There are so many factors and variables.
Charlie Whittie I don't hate or love. I just think logically. and we have far too much data to prove single mother households are bad. how they became a single mother is mute in that discussion. however the vast majority of single mothers are single mothers because they chose to be.
@Tim Piltz Yeah, sacrifice if your children have nothing to eat, smart. I agree that today´s young people are delusional and dont know how to live in a marriage. Because they live in a rich country that spoiled them. That will end soon, dont worry. This video is about single mothers, not divorces.
all things i see about single.moms are negative, is like we were society crap. hear this woman just make me feel good. That im not a failure after all. i just love and take care of my little one just like married moms. and after all,why nobody talks about the men who abandoned their children? why womans just get all the bad things?
Yes, it seems like its always been a man's world and only the woman is getting all the blame because she needs help? Cince its very easy for men to cheat, get a divorce, and have the option to make a new life, they dont have to deal with child -care costs, picking up the children from school, sick days, the man just gets to work full time and not have to worry of sharing the rearing responsibilities w the mom. Its okay, its normal for men to wake love in a woman, to play w her feelings, to play pretend marrige and daddy, until it gets real, they get to choose if they stay or leave or cheat.
The comments should be disabled. Way too much negativity in this world. Everyone should mind their business and not speak negatively about other people’s lives and children. Single mothers and fathers and married mothers and fathers are all great parents. It’s about how much you love protect and provide for your baby.. not your marriage status or age.
V. Michelle: Only the problem with your analogy is the large number of single mothers looking to be rescued by stable bachelors who wish to build kingdoms of their own.
stop glorifying single parent households. Its important for children to have both parents in their life however, according to factual statistics kids raised by single fathers turn out better than kids raised by single mothers
Maximos what if a spouse or partner dies? the other parent is now single... or widowed? what’s happens next? go run and find and trust another person to take care of you and your kids? nope! you get balls and make things happen!!
Hey, single proud mom here. You have a choice, actually we have a choice as moms to have a baby or not, whatever the world says or whatever beliefs you have... I will not judge you.. Be happy if you choose to be a mom, it is a choice, regardless the situation, and celebrate your child's life. It is incredible how much love will come out of you for this single being, and be proud of it;). And also, please think of yourself as a whole complete family circle, nothing is missing, just different. You understand? Hugs whatever choice you make , you both deserve it.
rayce banon How many incarcerated left children and or pregnant women to fend for themselves? How many incarcerated men killed men creating single moms? How many men act the player and run when the plus sign shows? If. You haven't had a vasectomy, married a mom whose kids aren't yours, raised a kid who otherwise had no home, then you are the problem
" How many men act the player and run when the plus sign shows?" About 20% to 30%. Better question is why so many women CHOOSE these types of men, don't absolve them of their responsibility in this situation. You go after the "bad boys" way above your X out of 10 scale, you get the pump and dump mentality.
The best thing that a mother can do for her children is to select a good father. The reason being a single mom is shameful is because it's seen as putting your wants and desires about that of your children.
Having a child without being married oes not make someone a bad person or worthless.. We choose our lives, we design it, the way we want it to be like.. We are all born free, like a blank paper then you can write whatever you want. But all of us need to know, every decision we make will bring some good or bad effect into your life.. Remember Newton's third law "Every action has an equal and opposite reaction".. so is with life.. People have freedom in their lives, as adults you can do things in your life, now if your decisions make humiliation into your life or the way people look at you, just accept it was your decision, noone is responsible for that.. Now whatever has happened, accept it, and move on with your life, stick with your responsibilities.. Its a great decision to raise a child than to kill it.. But then your child should be first priority in your life, there you might have to sacrifice your desires but remember its what you chose.. The thing is people are young and they are in an urge to have a physical relation just thinking its a normal biological thing.. dont even think about the consequences.. But a single decision can change your whole life.. my belief is when you have a physical relation with someone, be sure this is the person, who deserves you.. what is the value we give to ourselves if we are ready to have it with some friend or some other person.. when the right person come to your life, you will regret for what you did.. You always need to wait in your life for the right thing right people, take right decision.. Btw the no offending to single moms out there.. Take care of your child, they should not suffer for any reason, they didnt choose to be born here, its not their fault..
My mom is single after a divorce and it kinda sucks I can't really see my dad very often and I hate it so much I just want to see my dad everyday. He is not a bad dad he just works a lot
Typical. She doesn't need to be accountable for her recklessness - society needs to change instead. Society is bloody doomed. Wake up women for fucks sakes!!
Proud to be a single mother! And better off! Much love to all the single mothers out there you! May u make wise decisions for yourself and your child/children be content and most of all trust in God. He is the only one you truly need ❤ 😊
Thank you queen.There will be negative opinions because of statistics but if lisa nichols can do it? If we truly believe that all things are possible with God..how powerful we can be! Blessed day my sister love from a single mum in australia 💖
Tochukwu Njoku thank u my sister whatever hardships we face put trust in God we are all precious in his eyes nomatter what you or anyone thinks! His word is a healing to our anxieties and his love never fails ❤
Why do they have a kids with men who don't want kids. It's pretty simple math. The blokes not gonna just magical love you after a baby comes. He may end up loving the child but don't be upset if he wants nothing to do with ya.
Rebranding = Lying Reality should be accepted for what it is. If you are a single mom, you most likely enjoyed certain privileges and experiences that people who kept it in their pants have not been able to. Newton's third law, every action has a reaction. Although it may not seem like it, life balances itself out. Nothing in life is free. Everything in life has benefits and costs. Just accept it and don't try to sugarcoat things or present things untruthfully.
You sound very bitter and depressed. What choices have you made in your life that makes you leave long, useless, bitter messages on RUclips. Make better choices
This problem is real. The women I know can not have children and build a career with ongoing education. Assuming the father disappeared we must ask ourselves if we need to help this women or not. Someone needs to produce and raise children. The alternative is immigration and that has issues also. I agree that women should look for cheaper living cost than NY. But there are probably other reasons preventing that. Going to a new environment can be scary. Crime is a big concern. Some women can do everything but many can not.
Interesting how she never really speaks of what the dad went through.. Does anyone even care about that? She didnt even have the decency to bring it up.. Am I the only one who sees this?
This video has given me a fantastic marketing idea! I will apply dozens of coats of polish to a turd, and rebrand it as a 'must-have' item for any sophisticated man! I'll be rich!
But who chose to have that child not his because if it was the other way around and you wanted to get rid of the kid the father has no say. So you put your self in the position now deal with it
wtf does this even mean? just cos she chose to be a mother and keep her baby, its not allowed to be hard? even married moms struggle, parenthood in general is difficult and complicated and worth talking about
@@kiduchiha5098 What?? How is she not taking responsibility, she's literally raising the child herself cos the dad didn't want to be involved, how is that not taking responsibility`??
@Day Night Yes, and men should be aware of female nature and that they can get a woman pregnant and that that woman might want their money for the child.
Rebranding? Taken as a whole single motherhood is the single greatest predictor of a future life of failure for the child. I respect her individual effort to correct her own mistake of getting pregnant, but that needs to stay well to herself.
@Day Night Yes and grown boys pay child support into homes that they don't live in for children they don't take care of for 18 years. Non custodial Single dads are parents.
it was never easy being a single mom... never.... more over for the one being a single mom without marriage... it never get easier but we will get stronger... that is the only way to move forward
She's addicted to cheap liquor and hard "D." That's basically the summary of this TED talk. I hope her daughter doesn't become a criminal cause that's what single moms raise along with other single moms 🤫
Realistically men of value do not date single moms and women over 35, advice to women in their 20s find a man who will stay, lower you expectations becuase men you beliecve have value are generally not going to settle down since they will have options, and can play well into their 40s until they feel lke settling down
This is all about the mother, what effect has this had on the child? At this point in time, there are extremely effective methods for birth control to help you manage almost any hormonal reproductive drive. You had your chance to do that and didn't. And you are not the same as a married mother in a functional family. You are half a parent, and you are introducing an extreme amount of risk into the life of your child, and you want to be told that its OK. You seem to think that you just need a social makeover, that negates all of the very reliable social data we have on single-parent households. I get that you are doing the best you can, but that in the end is likely to not be good enough compared to a functional two-parent family. But you are not an amalgamation of stats, you are a data point, and time will tell whether you transcended the negative outcomes or not.
Who in their right mind talks about a single parent? I doubt it was a choice on most single parent homes to be single and raising a child... Do the people who talk about single women or men raising a child on their own have the same big macho attitude with the people who helped put them in this situation? I am just curious how big and bad is the person who puts down a woman raising a child and can not muster up the courage to take it to the dead beat men and rapist and or just realize it may of been a choice to be inseminated or adopt a baby that they could give so much on their own without the help of another person to get up at 4 am for feedings sleepless nights that they took on and no one helped them. Maybe the people who talk are just talking because they would not be strong enough to do half the job let alone the whole thing. Single Mom's and Dad's deserve allot of respect for being the one who did not give up on their child! "Dysfunctional"
Brand it however you like but ultimately single motherhood is a statistical train wreck. There are always exceptions to the rule but on average children do best in an intact nuclear family. Yes, there are single mothers and fathers who do an awesome job, and yes there are dysfunctional intact families, but most of the time, single motherhood is a bad scene for all involved.
Except that sometimes it isn't really a choice. You become a single mom or you remain in a toxic situation that will only get worse. No, Cara is right. But honestly, you might have to actually be a mom to know.
She reminds me of a car salesman trying to convince a potential customer that the worn out one with bent rims, that backfires and has gears that grind is the best one on the lot.
not always. I was married for 6 years and my husband made a poor choice for his life and now I am a single mother. Think of all the mothers who have lost their husbands, it's not like any of these mothers planned to have their husbands die or cheat or just disappear.
Oh yes for sure - religious ideals will fix every wrong in the world without a doubt. How do people manage to get divorced again? oh yes I remember - through being married in the first instance.
There's nothing strong about women. They become single mothers because they know Daddy Government will step in and take care of them via child support and other assistance.
@@JD2.0N54 There are irresponsible men who leave women pregnant and there are irresponsible women who use government money. Are u saying all women are the same?
@@AlexandraTama then she shouldn't have slept with the wrong guy, take some form of birthcontrol or get an abortion. Most women don't have any sense of responsability and accountability.
Screw all the negative comments...Good for you and hope you live a happy life with your daughter!
I was a single dad of 2. Living on the Canadian USA border in The Arrowhead of minnesota. It's wasn't easy. Parenting is tough. But think about the times you live in and the country you live in. You couldnt have it much better. Go forth and do good work. :)
Your amazing ty
That's good
Did we call the father to help? Or did we just shut him out?
She said he didn't want to have a baby with her
Thank you for the motivation!!!! Finally something positive about the strongest women in our society.
No question
divorce rate is so high in this society. single patent homes outnumbered two parent homes. People are choosing single parenthood rather than choosing to stay married in an unhappy situation. Why dont we ask ourselves why dont men do the honorable thing anymore and marry these women. Why so many couples cheat on their partners. So many single moms are made through divorce because their partners who they love and trusted betrayed them. This can happen both ways. We are too quick to judge. There are single moms that work have careers and are providing for their children in an honorable manner. what about fathers who are not providing child support.Thats sad. Men not taking care of their families. In the end you often hear the child once he/she is an adult say in a proud voice I had the best mom. She raised me on her own, through her hard work and dedication she put me through university. I owe all my success to her. Im very proud that she is my mom. My father you asked I dont know where he is. I guess he wasnt man enough to man up to his responsibility.
Feeling Blessed actually thats statistically incorrect. If women were so innocent and loved their boyfriends then they would do the right thing and get married first before thinking that 'he'd make a good dad'. The true motive is that ALL women want to have babies mix that in with their insecurities and thats what drives them to make poor descions with jerks who are obviously not father material. The birth of the child is all in the females hands from the kind of guy she lets have sex with her to the measures she uses to control pregnancy. Women need to stop with the excuses that the pregnancy was an accident. Most single mothers like that without marriage. Its not like they married a good and they all changed.
The "honorable" thing would be to *marry* the single women? To live on the back burner, to support someone whose loyalty is to no one but herself and her children...to become her next victim, thrown to the curb (or worse, falsely accused of "abuse") when she found someone else with more money? This is not honor, it is masochism.
Feeling Blessed lower income women choose to be single mothers because of the welfare state.
The failure is in the lack understanding the word duty. From a man marrying a woman he does not yet love to a woman being worthy of loving by being a great partner, it is about the duty to the children.
I'm surprised at some really ignorant comments here. Thank God for single moms who actually choose life for their babies and dedicate their lives to raising their children. Babies are gifts from God. Who are we to judge anyone? Not all single moms were single when they had a child. Many are from broken marriages or serious relationships that go very wrong. No one should be in a bad relationship or marriage "for the kids", especially when there is abuse (in any form) or addictions. Think twice before you judge someone.
m single mothers are non datable
Yawn!
life yes, please adopt
"Who are we to judge anyone?"
We are the people living in society with the animals they raise. We are also the people paying the welfare they get.
You want us to not judge? Do a better job parenting or at the very least stop giving single moms welfare.
You can't take a handful of successful single mothers and rule out the majority and the impact they have on society due to their poor choices in mates. (Widows and etc are the exception and even they do better raising kids)
Just look at the statistics.
Thank you!!
I am to be single mother and as much as it hurts to bring a baby and raise him/her in such unfortunate circumstances, I can not immagine myself choosing death for my unborn child. I can not go to a clinic and consider it as a medical waste, like a cancer you want to get rid off. I will choose life for my baby!
How about don't sleep with a man who is not committed to you?
Better yet, how about don't drive him away, or throw him away? (He probably was committed, like most men before they are discarded in favor of wealthier ones.)
Your child may end up dead anyway. Being from a single mother household increases the odds of a person ending on death row by about 10 times.
candlumland2010 you didn't have to chose death. you could have chosen birth control and above that. you could have chose a guy to get pregnant by that wouldn't be a deadbeat.
Hey, single proud mom here. You have a choice, actually we have a choice as moms to have a baby or not, whatever the world says or whatever beliefs you have... I will not judge you.. Be happy if you choose to be a mom, it is a choice, regardless the situation, and celebrate your child's life. It is incredible how much love will come out of you for this single being, and be proud of it;). And also, please think of yourself as a whole complete family circle, nothing is missing, just different. You understand? Hugs whatever choice you make , you both deserve it.
Single moms coming for encouragement DO NOT READ THE COMMENTS. This video seems to have triggered a lot of people. Just do the absolute best you can, try to get the dad involved if possible, and find a support system.
Great comment!!
I don't think it's to be mean. Their just saying women need to make better choices in the type of men they choose to lay down with. I beleive that's what the bottom line is.
How about try to work it out with the dad or at least a single dad.
Spacely Man To assume she and other single mothers don’t reflect is the issue with all the comments. Please tell me you as an individual have never had a misstep in life and decided to deal with it maturely. Please tell me that you don’t live with yourself everyday enough to know where to hold yourself accountable. That’s the problem...all these negative comments are based in a better than mentality which is the true failure of humanity. Once people get away from the idea that a woman choosing a responsible path (which is subjective and not worth debating), while the men on the other end go about their business and carry on or MGTOW, humanity will shift. Until then, please judge away and I pray your life goes as perfectly as you continue to judge.
I’m legit not even joking but her daughter is one of my dearest friends, she is in my class. I know most people won’t belive me but it’s like omg
Thanks for this. Too few people tell our stories from our own perspective. Much appreciated.
Comments are depressing. So many dark and bitter people in the world its shocking!
Truth sucks, single mothers are a plague to society - regardless of their intentions, not enough of them raise children properly. Just google the statistics.
@Roos Sweli right. They missed out on seeing their mom get hit, choked, called bitches and whores. Then daddy saying sorry I love you then doing it all over again. Learning that's what love is. Then repeating the cycle all over again. Passing it down to the next generation. They missed out on so much.
@@Shyhalu blame society.
My thoughts exactly. People talking about how single moms chose to be single and so many other assumptions. People who've never been through a situation with no empathy for other human beings. That's what wrong with the world.
No woman wants to be a single mom. Stop praising single motherhood. It sucks!!! Especially for the child.
I needed this video ❤️ thank you 💪🏽
Are you married?
I am so full of myself ... well educated me, got pregnant without planning to, with someone I did not plan to have a baby with and who did not plan to have a baby with me. Hence he Pumped & Dumped me ... but that was no justification for you being a self-centred dartboard, forcing a child to be a child to a single parent, especially not one that is so obsessed with feeding her ego.
Children in single parent homes are more likely to have depression.
Children in single parent homes are more likely to do badly in school.
Children in single parent homes are more likely to have bad relationships.
Children in single parent homes are more likely to go to prison.
Children in single parent homes are more likely etc.etc.etc in nearly all ways children in single parent homes are worse off.
everything correct, however, you didn't mention that MOST single parent homes are female-run, and that in MOST single father homes these ailments do not occur. hmmm. . . .
@@mgtow-balance3409 single fathers have higher income usually, anyway, you shouldnt blame only women, what about men who run away from responsabilities?
@@AlexandraTama apparently you are bereft of reading comprehension. did i not say "most?"
@@mgtow-balance3409 Sure, I know you said most, you however forgot to mention the reason why this happens in "most" female-run single parent homes.
not true.
'Let's re-brand single mother hood to seem less bad, so I can avoid taking responsibility for screwing up my child's life.' -No. No way.
Her child's life isn't screwed up
how did u pass 5th grade when u have that kind of brain lol
be a good dad and tell our fellow men to be good too. do the world a favour bruh. we men screw up most of the time and its a fact
@@Kathrynlove It is. She intentionally broke the father-daughter bond.
@@susuilu Most single moms are the result of divorces. 70% of divorces are filed by women. Most common reason for divorces is finances. Most single moms are result of greed and selfishness. They choose to break the bond between father and child just because of $$$.
Thank you. I was crying the whole time. I have the same experience as you. And you really made me think about what I have been saying to myself about being a single Mom.
We could rebrand "cancer"
everything she mentioned about the struggle of being a single mom, is why you don't bang out of marriage.
-rebrand it all you want, it doesn't change reality.
-vote in benefits all you want, the state will run out of money that it doesn't have.
rebranding the title attempting to avoid shaming. doesn't address or solve the problem.
typical.
Judge and be judged
Single moms are nothing but a financial liability . Literally a man can be forced to pay for a child that’s not his just because it is in the “best interest.” Get rid of the professional mommy environment first and then we might feel safe dating them.
There are so many methods of birth control, morning after pills etc. Women choose this.
Exactly and they also pick what man gets the goods from them. It's not mens fault.
Your both need to educate yourselves bet your both young men..haha
Every single mom (except one) I know is a good mom or excellent mom. Better than some married moms. Their kids do very well or are grown now and doing better than average (med school, or success in the military, respectful, married sucessfully or doing very well independently). So, these stereotypes, I don't see any evidence that it's because of single moms, it's more about whether a parent is a good parent. Lots of people who are really screwed up came from homes that had both parents. I live in Oregon, but again, all the single moms I know are good moms.
you don't see any evidence because you choose not to see. all you have to do is google the stats and you WILL see. question is, when are you going to stop being intellectually lazy?
The title is wrong. Here is the right one:
Rebranding the thot.
Guy, search for MGTOW.
Someone seems full of themselves. "Well educated, career driven" blah blah blah.
She doesn't seem full of herself at all
Tara Lynn shut up. Its her experience not 'yourssssssssssss'
Lol, so a woman describing her accomplishments is full of herself? Smh, grow up
Lmao shes TelLInG hER TruTh didn't you know?
I always fail to understand the negative comments and wonder why people are so quick to have a generalised belief that a child raised by one parent is negative for all children. There are dysfunctional children that come from both single parent households and households with two parents. I feel that the point being missed is that a child needs to be nurtured and have strong boundaries and positive role models whoever that may be. There is an agenda that has been pushed by the media that single mothers are negative and its mainly small minded people who buy into this fallacy, in just the same way that small minded people support all other labels that create discrimination and harassment towards what they fear or hold hatred towards. The data and information that we receive is inconclusive, it is important to understand not just the data we read but also the agenda behind the data, as data can be manipulated to fit a desired outcome in order to arrive at a specific conclusion.
It is unfortunate that many of the negative comments are A- mean and B- not really accurate in that they make sweeping generalizations. But your comment does the same thing.
The data is the data and it overwhelming points to - on the whole, statistically speaking - single parent homes having wayyy poorer outcomes. Yes, data can be manipulated to arrive at a conclusion but the fact is most scholars doing this type of research have a heavy liberal bent (social worker researchers are some of the most progressive academics out there).
It really looks like it's the sympathetic progressives here that are manipulating the data by grasping on to anecdotal stories like this, to fit your (ultimately false and harmful) narrative that this is a good thing. It's so funny, people on the left brand themselves are more scientific and logical but when they bump up against hard findings that don't fit their worldview they dismiss them with post-modern, "truth is elusive" style arguments. Positions that start with the outcome they want and then they rationalize until they can come at what they want.
Saying things like "you don't understand how power works" or "what it's like to be a single mom" subtly gives you, the speaker, an exclusive claim to the truth. From a epistemological / scientific method viewpoint you are really not on solid ground when you argue like this.
Thank you for commenting on my post. It will be interesting in years to come to analyse the statistics of the new emergent single parents, who are the professional men and women who opt to be single parents. It will be important data as then we will understand if single parenting is the issue or if the crux of the matter is also predominantly economical. Do richer parents make for better parents? Does having more money make one a better parent? Do two parent families make for better parents? In a two parent family does it make for better parenting if the parents are of opposite genders? Is a single parent a better parent if they are economically better off? Is a single parent a better parent if they have extended family support? There are so many factors and variables.
Nakeita Frater numbers don't lie. it does not matter if that bothers you or not.
@@bbjj2867 numbers don't say HOW they became single. The only thing that lies is that little voice in your head self-serving and feuling your hate.
Charlie Whittie I don't hate or love. I just think logically. and we have far too much data to prove single mother households are bad. how they became a single mother is mute in that discussion. however the vast majority of single mothers are single mothers because they chose to be.
Men go MGTOW.. run 🏃♂️ from Single Mothers and Feminists..
Project Masculinity 🏃🏿
Dont worry, men know how to run, they always run from responsability, leaving the child fatherless.
@Tim Piltz Most common reasons for divorce are financial problems, infidelity and lack of communication.
@Tim Piltz yes it does, men should try more if they want to keep a woman, thats the natural law
@Tim Piltz Yeah, sacrifice if your children have nothing to eat, smart. I agree that today´s young people are delusional and dont know how to live in a marriage. Because they live in a rich country that spoiled them. That will end soon, dont worry. This video is about single mothers, not divorces.
If there wasn’t child support there would be a lot less single mothers and a lot more children
lot more abortions
I hate the movies Tyler Perry produces about single mothers. It is ridiculous. You did a great job!
Truth hurts don't it?
Undatable & disposable category
all things i see about single.moms are negative, is like we were society crap.
hear this woman just make me feel good. That im not a failure after all. i just love and take care of my little one just like married moms. and after all,why nobody talks about the men who abandoned their children? why womans just get all the bad things?
Yes, it seems like its always been a man's world and only the woman is getting all the blame because she needs help? Cince its very easy for men to cheat, get a divorce, and have the option to make a new life, they dont have to deal with child -care costs, picking up the children from school, sick days, the man just gets to work full time and not have to worry of sharing the rearing responsibilities w the mom. Its okay, its normal for men to wake love in a woman, to play w her feelings, to play pretend marrige and daddy, until it gets real, they get to choose if they stay or leave or cheat.
vanesa valdez prepared to be single forever
Yawn
@@v.r.7220 are you for real?
Why did she have sex with out birth control ?
She thought that would hold the bad boy.
Good for you overcoming!
The comments should be disabled. Way too much negativity in this world. Everyone should mind their business and not speak negatively about other people’s lives and children. Single mothers and fathers and married mothers and fathers are all great parents. It’s about how much you love protect and provide for your baby.. not your marriage status or age.
V. Michelle: Only the problem with your analogy is the large number of single mothers looking to be rescued by stable bachelors who wish to build kingdoms of their own.
You are your biggest challenge..
You are how you respond..
Indeed. ,☺️
stop glorifying single parent households. Its important for children to have both parents in their life however, according to factual statistics kids raised by single fathers turn out better than kids raised by single mothers
Maximos what if a spouse or partner dies? the other parent is now single... or widowed? what’s happens next? go run and find and trust another person to take care of you and your kids?
nope! you get balls and make things happen!!
just want to say... i never knew my father... my mother was a drug addict. my grandmother raised me. i turned out just fine. nature vs. nurture.
Some fathers (or mothers) are so abusive that their presence in the home is worse than their absence.
thats because single fathers have higher income than single mothers.
Hey, single proud mom here. You have a choice, actually we have a choice as moms to have a baby or not, whatever the world says or whatever beliefs you have... I will not judge you.. Be happy if you choose to be a mom, it is a choice, regardless the situation, and celebrate your child's life. It is incredible how much love will come out of you for this single being, and be proud of it;). And also, please think of yourself as a whole complete family circle, nothing is missing, just different. You understand? Hugs whatever choice you make , you both deserve it.
Wonderful talk. Thank you!
Cara, this is a heart felt and compelling topic!
Why would any man of value date a single mother, when they can date their daughter?
because they would go to jail
...man i think u need to see chris hansen
@@AlexandraTama not if they're 18
Maybe not all men want to be sugar daddies.
@@iamsofia3782 All men ARE sugar daddies by default. The government takes money out of our checks and redistributes it to women.
70 % of the hard core criminals in jail are what? Raised by single parent mothers.
rayce banon How many incarcerated left children and or pregnant women to fend for themselves? How many incarcerated men killed men creating single moms? How many men act the player and run when the plus sign shows? If. You haven't had a vasectomy, married a mom whose kids aren't yours, raised a kid who otherwise had no home, then you are the problem
Cheryl Carlson who chose these losers to get pregnant by?
Single moms that are bad news are the ones who get pregnant by some random boyfriend. In general widows etc are not included in this stereotype.
" How many men act the player and run when the plus sign shows?"
About 20% to 30%. Better question is why so many women CHOOSE these types of men, don't absolve them of their responsibility in this situation.
You go after the "bad boys" way above your X out of 10 scale, you get the pump and dump mentality.
The best thing that a mother can do for her children is to select a good father. The reason being a single mom is shameful is because it's seen as putting your wants and desires about that of your children.
Having a child without being married oes not make someone a bad person or worthless.. We choose our lives, we design it, the way we want it to be like.. We are all born free, like a blank paper then you can write whatever you want. But all of us need to know, every decision we make will bring some good or bad effect into your life.. Remember Newton's third law "Every action has an equal and opposite reaction".. so is with life.. People have freedom in their lives, as adults you can do things in your life, now if your decisions make humiliation into your life or the way people look at you, just accept it was your decision, noone is responsible for that.. Now whatever has happened, accept it, and move on with your life, stick with your responsibilities.. Its a great decision to raise a child than to kill it.. But then your child should be first priority in your life, there you might have to sacrifice your desires but remember its what you chose.. The thing is people are young and they are in an urge to have a physical relation just thinking its a normal biological thing.. dont even think about the consequences.. But a single decision can change your whole life.. my belief is when you have a physical relation with someone, be sure this is the person, who deserves you.. what is the value we give to ourselves if we are ready to have it with some friend or some other person.. when the right person come to your life, you will regret for what you did.. You always need to wait in your life for the right thing right people, take right decision.. Btw the no offending to single moms out there.. Take care of your child, they should not suffer for any reason, they didnt choose to be born here, its not their fault..
I´m a single mom and I totally know what you are talking about! thanks for the message.
what made you single mom .... lol ???
lol
you proud of that?
My mom is single after a divorce and it kinda sucks I can't really see my dad very often and I hate it so much I just want to see my dad everyday. He is not a bad dad he just works a lot
@@AppleUser-fl8uy
Or your mom just keep you away from him.
That's what women do.
Thank you, much needed x
Typical. She doesn't need to be accountable for her recklessness - society needs to change instead.
Society is bloody doomed. Wake up women for fucks sakes!!
The video editing of her going in/out of focus is so distracting -.-
It wasnt like she was saying anything of value so i can see why you were distracted
@@michaell9022 right
I want my 60 seconds back 🤦🏾♂️
All about her
Single parents deserve respect
"Well educated and smart" yet gets pregnant unwantedly.
No contraceptives are 100%
Where do you guys come from? Why so hateful 🤦🏽
😭🤣
😂🤣
Proud to be a single mother! And better off! Much love to all the single mothers out there you! May u make wise decisions for yourself and your child/children be content and most of all trust in God. He is the only one you truly need ❤ 😊
Vicky Eti God bless you richly for your comments.
Thank you queen.There will be negative opinions because of statistics but if lisa nichols can do it? If we truly believe that all things are possible with God..how powerful we can be! Blessed day my sister love from a single mum in australia 💖
Vicky Eti many thanks, I’m from London England, struggling to bring up four children by God’s grace. Thank so much your encouragement.
Tochukwu Njoku thank u my sister whatever hardships we face put trust in God we are all precious in his eyes nomatter what you or anyone thinks! His word is a healing to our anxieties and his love never fails ❤
Vicky Eti thank you....🙏🙏🙏
Why do they have a kids with men who don't want kids. It's pretty simple math.
The blokes not gonna just magical love you after a baby comes. He may end up loving the child but don't be upset if he wants nothing to do with ya.
Rebranding = Lying
Reality should be accepted for what it is. If you are a single mom, you most likely enjoyed certain privileges and experiences that people who kept it in their pants have not been able to. Newton's third law, every action has a reaction. Although it may not seem like it, life balances itself out. Nothing in life is free. Everything in life has benefits and costs. Just accept it and don't try to sugarcoat things or present things untruthfully.
You sound very bitter and depressed. What choices have you made in your life that makes you leave long, useless, bitter messages on RUclips.
Make better choices
Women dont like reality
i watched this as a homework assignment and it truly resonated with me... Thank you for this.
Single Mother =/= Pump & Dump =/= Dartboard =/= Dysfunctional Family (Burden On Other Tax Payers.) =/= Poor Role Model.
You must be entitled.
Wow...my father was so abusive I wish my mother was a single parent.
@M Lane Exactly...not all parents are safe or even kind.
@Day Night have you ever been abused?
@Day Night she wanted the "badboy". Well she got what she wanted.
This problem is real. The women I know can not have children and build a career with ongoing education. Assuming the father disappeared we must ask ourselves if we need to help this women or not. Someone needs to produce and raise children. The alternative is immigration and that has issues also. I agree that women should look for cheaper living cost than NY. But there are probably other reasons preventing that. Going to a new environment can be scary. Crime is a big concern. Some women can do everything but many can not.
Interesting how she never really speaks of what the dad went through.. Does anyone even care about that? She didnt even have the decency to bring it up.. Am I the only one who sees this?
Because he doesn't matter. Nor does the kids need of both parents. She's selfish.
This video has given me a fantastic marketing idea! I will apply dozens of coats of polish to a turd, and rebrand it as a 'must-have' item for any sophisticated man! I'll be rich!
I am a single mom. Actually, I am a mom! Regardless if you are single or married, your title is MOM.
Thanks for this message.
Good, courageous talk...thank you.
But who chose to have that child not his because if it was the other way around and you wanted to get rid of the kid the father has no say. So you put your self in the position now deal with it
wtf does this even mean? just cos she chose to be a mother and keep her baby, its not allowed to be hard? even married moms struggle, parenthood in general is difficult and complicated and worth talking about
@@TheVivaciousNerd take responsibility for what you have done
@@kiduchiha5098 What?? How is she not taking responsibility, she's literally raising the child herself cos the dad didn't want to be involved, how is that not taking responsibility`??
You're not worth anything by default and you don't "deserve" anything.
OK, how about this. . . "Single Mothers, Vanguard of Social Decay and Anarchy" "Destroyers of America" How's that for rebranding?
That's a horrible thing to say and you are a horrible judge
How about you rebrand coward men who leave their pregnant partner alone?
@Day Night Yes, and he got her pregnant so now make him pay.
@Day Night Yes, and men should be aware of female nature and that they can get a woman pregnant and that that woman might want their money for the child.
Rebranding single moms
"Just don't do it "
or
" Just don't a marry single mom "
Power to all single mums
Perfect!
Thank you 🙏💞
I can do this....my tagline
Rebranding? Taken as a whole single motherhood is the single greatest predictor of a future life of failure for the child. I respect her individual effort to correct her own mistake of getting pregnant, but that needs to stay well to herself.
For every single mom there IS A SINGLE dad.
@Day Night Yes and grown boys pay child support into homes that they don't live in for children they don't take care of for 18 years.
Non custodial Single dads are parents.
it was never easy being a single mom... never.... more over for the one being a single mom without marriage... it never get easier but we will get stronger... that is the only way to move forward
She's addicted to cheap liquor and hard "D." That's basically the summary of this TED talk. I hope her daughter doesn't become a criminal cause that's what single moms raise along with other single moms 🤫
and anti depressants
Nothing you can do about it
Im crying listening to her story.. Because i had way less in still pushing through.
Realistically men of value do not date single moms and women over 35, advice to women in their 20s find a man who will stay, lower you expectations becuase men you beliecve have value are generally not going to settle down since they will have options, and can play well into their 40s until they feel lke settling down
This is all about the mother, what effect has this had on the child? At this point in time, there are extremely effective methods for birth control to help you manage almost any hormonal reproductive drive. You had your chance to do that and didn't. And you are not the same as a married mother in a functional family. You are half a parent, and you are introducing an extreme amount of risk into the life of your child, and you want to be told that its OK. You seem to think that you just need a social makeover, that negates all of the very reliable social data we have on single-parent households. I get that you are doing the best you can, but that in the end is likely to not be good enough compared to a functional two-parent family. But you are not an amalgamation of stats, you are a data point, and time will tell whether you transcended the negative outcomes or not.
For the people that have negative things to say...who hurt you??
No one its just unrealistic to think that a single mom has greater value than a women who has no children.
Almost 5 years since this post....update....cmonnnnn, be honest.
Thank you for this wonderful speech
Who in their right mind talks about a single parent? I doubt it was a choice on most single parent homes to be single and raising a child... Do the people who talk about single women or men raising a child on their own have the same big macho attitude with the people who helped put them in this situation? I am just curious how big and bad is the person who puts down a woman raising a child and can not muster up the courage to take it to the dead beat men and rapist and or just realize it may of been a choice to be inseminated or adopt a baby that they could give so much on their own without the help of another person to get up at 4 am for feedings sleepless nights that they took on and no one helped them. Maybe the people who talk are just talking because they would not be strong enough to do half the job let alone the whole thing. Single Mom's and Dad's deserve allot of respect for being the one who did not give up on their child! "Dysfunctional"
Men that abandoned their children have no honor, or courage.
that goes w/o saying.
It's not like women slip and fall and have a kid. They got pregnant by deliberate action or negligence. Either way, it's on her.
Charles Bryan So why do men still cheat in third world countries where women have no say and no rights???
Do you KNOW they cheat, or are you just posing a question that you know isn't provable or true in order to make men look bad? I'll take the latter.
This was utterly worthless.
Brand it however you like but ultimately single motherhood is a statistical train wreck. There are always exceptions to the rule but on average children do best in an intact nuclear family. Yes, there are single mothers and fathers who do an awesome job, and yes there are dysfunctional intact families, but most of the time, single motherhood is a bad scene for all involved.
Except that sometimes it isn't really a choice. You become a single mom or you remain in a toxic situation that will only get worse. No, Cara is right. But honestly, you might have to actually be a mom to know.
Low resale value.
Smh you just flat out can't defend single moms. No decent man is going to believe the lies or accept the mistakes.
She must have had her wicked way sportsnews guy after all
Great talk!
Cara you are wonderful!
LOL NO
The ignorance in the comments section is overwhelming
Truth hurts.
Single moms have much less value in the dating market than they would if they weren't single moms. Particularly to quality guys without children.
She reminds me of a car salesman trying to convince a potential customer that the worn out one with bent rims, that backfires and has gears that grind is the best one on the lot.
You know what would fix this? Marriage before sex. Like God intended.
not always. I was married for 6 years and my husband made a poor choice for his life and now I am a single mother. Think of all the mothers who have lost their husbands, it's not like any of these mothers planned to have their husbands die or cheat or just disappear.
No thanks. What would fix this, and in fact *will* fix this eventually, is men going their own way.
Oh yes for sure - religious ideals will fix every wrong in the world without a doubt. How do people manage to get divorced again? oh yes I remember - through being married in the first instance.
I heard google are working on developing a 'right kind of man' scanner
Emma Pin oh put a sock in it
SMBC! 😞
Nailed it!
Raising a child alone is a blessing and the tough days/nights vanish when your child smiles. :-)
You can't rebrand irresponsible!
Are u talking about those irresponsible fathers?
Divine Being raising another Divine Being. Branding is for cows (hope not anymore 🙄)
never meetup with single mom, risk vs reward
...how come just like married moms /dude u are not married
Nike and New York times ? What a joke
Reading the comments Man there r some bitter closed minded people in the world. Obvious the world still can not accept strong women
I'm a strong man , and I choose to be single😂
There's nothing strong about women.
They become single mothers because they know Daddy Government will step in and take care of them via child support and other assistance.
@@JD2.0N54 There are irresponsible men who leave women pregnant and there are irresponsible women who use government money. Are u saying all women are the same?
@@AlexandraTama then she shouldn't have slept with the wrong guy, take some form of birthcontrol or get an abortion. Most women don't have any sense of responsability and accountability.
@@spark_ling1379 Abortion???? Really?? Killing your child is a solution? The guy shouldnt have slept with her either. The responsability is 50:50.
You want me to..? How about asking with a 'please'. Catch more with honey tha shiitz
Un-engaging monotonic speaker with poor delivery and no energy. No energy... I wonder why?
So damn beautiful