I am a boomer (haha). I figured out years ago, that all that really mattered was to unconditionally love my kids, regardless of how I felt about what they were up to. That opening of my heart created a much healthier communication and relationship with them.
When people ask me for tips to improve focus and organization, I give them ADHD tips as they can help anyone. So it makes sense that tips that help people with borderline personality disorder help others with low distress tolerance.
7:55 Got defensive over this one because of feeling defensive about something else when I saw it 😂 Took the advice, sat down, thought about it, realized something I already knew but had not connected to defensiveness, now no longer feel defensive. Congrats, you did it LMAO
I’m further along on my Breath Work Journey (Yoga + MBSR + Swimming along with Breath Work) but I am a grateful fan of Nadi shodhana 10 count for 10 to 20 minutes. There are many breath practices out there. Like Journaling and Sketchbooking they collectively collaborate. The way Betty Edwards developed the 5 questions for saturation in her 2nd book Drawing on the Artist Within then reworked said lens into downstream revisions of Drawing on the Right Side of the Brain… And then asked her practitioners to explore the intertextual connections all around us.
This makes so much sense also from the perspective of politics and the GOP. GOP does not know how to tolerate their discomfort when it comes to gay people, trans people, PoC, women, abortion, or anything else they do not understand so they just lash out and try to make those things disappear rather than process why they feel a certain way.
What great timing on this video! I've been talking a lot with my partner about DBT- I'm retaking it since I lost a lot of the skills I learned from it during my most recent Autistic Burnout/Regression, while he's going to be doing it for the first time. I'm so excited, it's good stuff. ❤
Thank you for putting a name to this work for me. I've been fortunate to have some excellent and very patient colleagues willing to help me on my journey towards becoming a better tangata tiriti (non-indigenous person) and ally. However I've found that learning to manage a toddler is like starting over from scratch 😂. Having a parallel journey of learning to respect my body and brains' limits following an ASD diagnosis and thus removing a large chunk of that numbing effect that I hadn't realized was there... that's been extra "fun".
Hahaha, you're so funny! Most excellent video. Back in my day I asked my mother to read a book about handling anger. She did good for about a year, then reverted back. To this day my unconscious image of her is an evil witch. And it has gotten in the way of relationships with women presently..
I also took DBT with my teen about 10 years ago after some very difficult times. Honestly, it took some things I learned in Al Anon, took things from therapy, etc and combined them into an organized way of thinking. I struggled for years doing extreme sports to alleviate the constant stress and trauma... I am so glad you're talking about this. I'm still trying to decide if I need to practice radical acceptance over the election and how that would look.
Thank you SO much for speaking out on this subject. While I enjoy all your videos, this one is probably the most helpful yet. I never understood why boomers expect everyone to walk on eggshells for them, while they emotionally and psychologically trash others. Pandering to them is not in my toolbox, ever.
I am trying heal. I'm 33...my mom is a boomer, she is suffering but sadly so am I and I am trying to understand her to the best of my ability. I thank you so much for this insight! crazy timing too, sadly life is in shambles because of my family dynamic but with this information...I see healing and understanding (at least for me) on the horizon! You're wonderful! 🧚♂️ thank you for making this content!!!
There are lots of YT channels to help with this. Jerry Wise, Patrick Tehan, Dr. Ramani to name a few. You're not alone. Many, many of us have parents like this. Understanding them for what they are frees us up to choose the type of relationship we want with them. Good luck, and many blessings on your journey.
Your attempt to understand her is a great first step to healing. It will help you to maybe release any negative feelings and create boundaries if necessary. I'm always so glad to hear when people are working on these types of things. It's so underrated.
My boomer mom had an abusive mother. In response, she has turned all of her distress inward her whole life. Good for us kids, I guess? So bad for her, though
As a Boomer, I am very uncomfortable with my feelings at times, especially if they well up in a public setting. However, I also tend to over analyze those feelings before I display or even share them. ...... It's probably to avoid criticism which I don't take well either.
that honesty is so refreshing to see! we've all been lied to, and we are all in recovery. 1) acceptance (2) repentance (3) amends that's my "nutshell version" of a proven 12 step program, dependent upon honesty.
I took a great DBT course ten years ago. As an autistic person with PTSD/CPTSD, this was so life changing! I learned so many skills that that's have allowed me to function better physically and mentally. The distress tolerance skills are absolutely imperative to have on board FIRST before you can really dive in and get traction in healing trauma, because you will inevitably get triggered in the process. I also wish this model would replace ABA. Even newer irritations of it are still just neurotypical training that isn't helpful. DBT gives us a wide bank of skills to choose from to find what works best for us! 💜
DBT is superior to CBT for some of us, or is at least a necessary precursor for CBT. I have autism and radically open DBT was a nice addition to my toolbox. It doesn't stop me from being autistic, but it can help me tolerate life. Warning though that some DBT group administrators will gaslight you about skills that "should" work for you if they don't know you're autistic. For example , the TIPS skills around extreme sensory stimulation as a means of short circuiting extreme emotional spirals are a no-go for me. Holding ice, splashing my face or standing in a cold shower will make me melt down. I wish there were better resources for ND adapted DBT. The only workbook I've found for that was written by someone who isn't a clinical professional.
Hey, can you somehow make vertical video work in YT? Text is tiny on my phone, when full screen is horizontal. I'm sure theres a YT video about how to bring video in from TT. PS better is reading the comment aloud first, as I mostly listen to these videos during soapy chores. (For instance, Cyzor always reads or summarizes the comment before rebuttal.) Thanks and carry on with this amazing content!❤🎉
Is this from personal experience? I ask because I'm not a big fan of DBT, and even less of a fan of CBT. But I find I am usually in the minority and I am also open to learning more from either "side."
I am a boomer (haha). I figured out years ago, that all that really mattered was to unconditionally love my kids, regardless of how I felt about what they were up to. That opening of my heart created a much healthier communication and relationship with them.
Gen-Xer, same❤
I love this for you and your family. I wish my boomer parents could do the same.
When people ask me for tips to improve focus and organization, I give them ADHD tips as they can help anyone. So it makes sense that tips that help people with borderline personality disorder help others with low distress tolerance.
7:55 Got defensive over this one because of feeling defensive about something else when I saw it 😂 Took the advice, sat down, thought about it, realized something I already knew but had not connected to defensiveness, now no longer feel defensive. Congrats, you did it LMAO
I’m further along on my Breath Work Journey (Yoga + MBSR + Swimming along with Breath Work) but I am a grateful fan of Nadi shodhana 10 count for 10 to 20 minutes. There are many breath practices out there. Like Journaling and Sketchbooking they collectively collaborate. The way Betty Edwards developed the 5 questions for saturation in her 2nd book Drawing on the Artist Within then reworked said lens into downstream revisions of Drawing on the Right Side of the Brain… And then asked her practitioners to explore the intertextual connections all around us.
This makes so much sense also from the perspective of politics and the GOP. GOP does not know how to tolerate their discomfort when it comes to gay people, trans people, PoC, women, abortion, or anything else they do not understand so they just lash out and try to make those things disappear rather than process why they feel a certain way.
I've been using some of this techniques with my reactionary parents and didn't know there was an entire course behind it .
I'm a woman veteran who has taken DBT through the VA. I love it.
What great timing on this video! I've been talking a lot with my partner about DBT- I'm retaking it since I lost a lot of the skills I learned from it during my most recent Autistic Burnout/Regression, while he's going to be doing it for the first time. I'm so excited, it's good stuff. ❤
Thank you for putting a name to this work for me. I've been fortunate to have some excellent and very patient colleagues willing to help me on my journey towards becoming a better tangata tiriti (non-indigenous person) and ally. However I've found that learning to manage a toddler is like starting over from scratch 😂. Having a parallel journey of learning to respect my body and brains' limits following an ASD diagnosis and thus removing a large chunk of that numbing effect that I hadn't realized was there... that's been extra "fun".
Hahaha, you're so funny! Most excellent video. Back in my day I asked my mother to read a book about handling anger. She did good for about a year, then reverted back. To this day my unconscious image of her is an evil witch. And it has gotten in the way of relationships with women presently..
I also took DBT with my teen about 10 years ago after some very difficult times. Honestly, it took some things I learned in Al Anon, took things from therapy, etc and combined them into an organized way of thinking. I struggled for years doing extreme sports to alleviate the constant stress and trauma... I am so glad you're talking about this. I'm still trying to decide if I need to practice radical acceptance over the election and how that would look.
Radical acceptance of the election may be what you need. I mean, it's better than the radical rejection we saw in 2020😂
@@Introverted100 Your comment is confusing.
@@AmyRaeVee I'm just making a joke about how some folks did not accept the 2020 election at all, and we all saw how that turned out on Jan 6th.
Thank you SO much for speaking out on this subject. While I enjoy all your videos, this one is probably the most helpful yet. I never understood why boomers expect everyone to walk on eggshells for them, while they emotionally and psychologically trash others. Pandering to them is not in my toolbox, ever.
I am trying heal. I'm 33...my mom is a boomer, she is suffering but sadly so am I and I am trying to understand her to the best of my ability. I thank you so much for this insight! crazy timing too, sadly life is in shambles because of my family dynamic but with this information...I see healing and understanding (at least for me) on the horizon! You're wonderful! 🧚♂️ thank you for making this content!!!
There are lots of YT channels to help with this. Jerry Wise, Patrick Tehan, Dr. Ramani to name a few. You're not alone. Many, many of us have parents like this. Understanding them for what they are frees us up to choose the type of relationship we want with them. Good luck, and many blessings on your journey.
Your attempt to understand her is a great first step to healing. It will help you to maybe release any negative feelings and create boundaries if necessary. I'm always so glad to hear when people are working on these types of things. It's so underrated.
This is so good! Thank you!
My boomer mom had an abusive mother. In response, she has turned all of her distress inward her whole life. Good for us kids, I guess? So bad for her, though
As a Boomer, I am very uncomfortable with my feelings at times, especially if they well up in a public setting. However, I also tend to over analyze those feelings before I display or even share them. ...... It's probably to avoid criticism which I don't take well either.
that honesty is so refreshing to see!
we've all been lied to, and we are all in recovery.
1) acceptance (2) repentance (3) amends
that's my "nutshell version" of a proven 12 step program, dependent upon honesty.
thank you for sharing this
Seems like you're already creating your own Cognitive Boomer Therapy. Each generation is probably in need of its own therapy tool set tbh.
I took a great DBT course ten years ago. As an autistic person with PTSD/CPTSD, this was so life changing! I learned so many skills that that's have allowed me to function better physically and mentally. The distress tolerance skills are absolutely imperative to have on board FIRST before you can really dive in and get traction in healing trauma, because you will inevitably get triggered in the process. I also wish this model would replace ABA. Even newer irritations of it are still just neurotypical training that isn't helpful. DBT gives us a wide bank of skills to choose from to find what works best for us! 💜
Thanks!
I appreciate this video :)
DBT is superior to CBT for some of us, or is at least a necessary precursor for CBT. I have autism and radically open DBT was a nice addition to my toolbox. It doesn't stop me from being autistic, but it can help me tolerate life. Warning though that some DBT group administrators will gaslight you about skills that "should" work for you if they don't know you're autistic. For example , the TIPS skills around extreme sensory stimulation as a means of short circuiting extreme emotional spirals are a no-go for me. Holding ice, splashing my face or standing in a cold shower will make me melt down. I wish there were better resources for ND adapted DBT. The only workbook I've found for that was written by someone who isn't a clinical professional.
Book pls
What's the workbook pls?
The cheeto really needs this.
Good video.
DBT This sounds great found neurotypicals( people who don't have autism, developmental, intellectual disabilities.)
It's also been very helpful and effective for people who are neurodivergent.
Hey, can you somehow make vertical video work in YT? Text is tiny on my phone, when full screen is horizontal.
I'm sure theres a YT video about how to bring video in from TT.
PS better is reading the comment aloud first, as I mostly listen to these videos during soapy chores. (For instance, Cyzor always reads or summarizes the comment before rebuttal.)
Thanks and carry on with this amazing content!❤🎉
I googled DBT and the acronyms (STOP, ACCEPTS, TIPP, etc) and got almost the same charts Angela posted. It was easier to SS those than the vid.
I am tolerant, I am resilient, and I am a door mat??????
Is this from personal experience? I ask because I'm not a big fan of DBT, and even less of a fan of CBT. But I find I am usually in the minority and I am also open to learning more from either "side."
@@V1sual3y3z Will you explain your comment? I've never heard anyone criticize CBT and DBT, so it would be interesting to hear your opinion.
DBT can be... quite questionable.
What is your foundation for this statement? Genuinely curious, as I actually find DBT gives me the ick a bit. CBT, too.
Should this be mandatory for all women? 😆
Atleast, it would be useful to the women in my life.
You asking this question tells the world that you're the common factor. You're probably the problem.