I seem to take everything to the extreme. I don't drink, exercise, study or diet like a normal person. My eating disorder started as just trying to stay lean and eat healthy. Pretty soon my calorie counting, over-training and weight became an obsession. As a male it was really hard to admit I was totally out of control. Been two years since I stepped on a scale and never been faster or happier!
1. It starts with your mindset. You need to re commit everyday. 2. Your digestive system will not work anymore. (Pooping, digesting, everything will be hard, like you’re a newborn trying to relearn how to just freaking digest.)(Because your body isn’t used to having a normal amount of calories to process, and it’s damaged. It will work again time!) 3. Recovery is always worth it :)
No one should be defined by an eating disorder or any other disorder. These things do not define us. They challenge us, sometimes they kick our butts, sometimes they help us find a well of strength within ourselves we did not know existed. Everyone's experience is unique, and you are so right, recovery does not fix everything. It is a good start. You are courageous for sharing your experience.
I went through an eating disorder for two years in high school so I totally get it. It’s something I’ll always battle a bit, but you are so right with the neuropathways and changing them! So proud of you girl!
today is my first true day of recovery after many relapses. i am actually stepping back from running and working with my mom and counseling/nutrition team to recover. I am ready for this. Thank you for being the person I need to hear from, learn from, and admire. I wish I could literally just be friends with you because oh my gosh you are the most authentic, real, kind, funny, and brave person I know, and I feel so connected to you and your story. Thank you. You are so strong and will always be a light to this world.
i found it so hard for me to trust even my family to plate my food now that i’m in recovery. i also have the stigma that you need to look a certain to have an ed which i know is not true and it is making it so hard for me to recover. thanks for sharing your thoughts, you are such an inspiration ❤️
You’re such an angel, seriously you’re so inspiring not only for your athletic life, but just in how authentic you are as a person. This video was super true, thanks for sharing!! Especially when you mentioned how “eating disorder habits are usually praised.” Eating less, going to gym even when exhausted, etc. Important video and very well said!! Hope you’re doing well 🌱💗
I almost had an eating disorder in my sophomore year and I can tell you, some of my struggles with body image almost ruined my cross country season. You did a great job explaining how you went through eating disorder recovery! Thank you so much for posting this video. I love it so much!
Well said, as a person living one day at a time for 33 years, recovering from alcoholism, I cannot agree more with your emphasis on TRUST. Way to go! Now on to life's other goals - knowing our reality - This is an amazing journey!
I was stuck in an ED for about 4 years. Thinking back to that time, it was the absolute loneliest, most depressed, shameful (in my mind), hopeless place I've ever been. I never got professional help, but a health complication scared me straight, though it's like being a recovering alcoholic. You'll be in 'recovery' for the rest of your life. It's always under the surface. It's such a big part of my life that I feel was wasted and if I had a resource like yours, things might have gotten better sooner. Thank you for bringing awareness to a disorder so many people suffer from, but then suffer in silence. The most personal, is also the most universal ♥️
Brilliant list. I've been in recovery for years, and a lot of this is new and extremely helpful. I love how you said that ED recovery is super counter-culture. Yes! And for plus-size people, it's super counter-medical advice. Doctors literally are taught eating disorder behaviors and promotion of EDs. Thank you.
ED is an addiction just like alcoholism from my experience. I have re-educated myself to recognise the triggers so that I can empower myself to release myself from the addiction. That is, don't let those triggers ruin who you are.
We all wish we were perfect, but who likes that person. Your battles and tribulations are how we process the roads we choose to follow. They can become who you are if they take over your life. You are a World Class runner. Running dominates and surrounds your life. That is who you are. This battle is tough. Therapy gives you the tools. Recovery can take a life time, but time makes you stronger and time does heal. I know your one tough as nails person and you will make it. I got over smoking and oxy addiction after shoulder surgery. I got over my addictions with therapy and remembering my running days, becoming a dad and my soldiering days. That is who I am. Go Allie!!!
Thankyou for explaining this. I work in mental health as a nurse and have cared for people with eating disorders for over 20 years. Recovery is kick started in treatment but the real work is done out in the community. It is a journey and it’s not quick. It takes time like you said. :-)
Yes. I had anorexia nervosa for five years and I was running and racing a lot. That was over 20 years ago. Then I got injured so I lost my coping mechanism, Ultimately after some years and finding and working with an excellent therapist I realized that it was my way to avoid dealing with very painful emotions, experiences, loss and major depression. My excessive running and limited eating was a way to prevent having to feel the feelings. It's a long road to finally stop thinking about food in a worrying way. Also, when you experience emotionally challenging situations s, problematic eating/exercise behaviors may return, try to recognize that it a symptom of something that needs to be addressed and get help to address that. I continue to regularly exercise and am fit but ultimately realised for me to be healthy, I cannot do so at the frequency, intensity focus as I used to.
Wow, I usually don’t comment but this was very unexpected. You probably don’t remember me but I was an exchange student at your high school in 2013 and also on the cross country team. RUclips recommended me this video completely out of the blue and threw me back some 9 years seeing your face. As someone who has since also experienced ED recovery I am so happy for you to speak out about this. I wish you all the best, Allie!
I'm currently going through an ED. It started a few months ago out of the blue. I can so relate to you. I'd love to hear your full story in terms of what happened (the type of ED), what things were like in the midst of your ED, and what's going on now during your recovery.
Thank you for your honesty and transparency. Videos like this can really help people to understand and provide some normalcy when things are really scary
I’m nearly 69 years old. My life has been consumed with my food issues since my early teens. It’s been a struggle. I never knew there was “recovery”. Probably too late for me anyway. I truly hope it goes well for you.
I don't have much issue with food, just here for moral support. You're not defined by ED, I still see you primarily as a runner (secondarily as a part-time RUclipsr), just a runner on a break. Love how you talk with clear logic. Good luck with your journey.
I am so grateful for you, and you sharing your story. You are definitely more than your ED, but it is so important for the world that you continue to share. And important for me. God bless you.
This video gives me so much hope for success in recovery! The honesty and openness from you means so much. You are doing heroic things by sharing, and sharing the details 💜
Wow Allie. Thanks for that message and hopefully it helps many viewers. You are an amazing young woman and I will be rooting for you whatever comes next.
I love how open and authentic you are. I appreciate you sharing your journey and story of life. A video I think might be fun is one about what it was like to go from Alaska to Boise, ID
Allie, thanks for sharing your journey through ED. The points you made are incredibly helpful to those going through a similar situation or for people that may know someone going through this. Understanding what the person is going through is helpful for people that don't understand ED. You made some great points and I learned a lot from your video. Know that you have a lot of people wishing the best for you.
Glad you can talk about this topic. Day by day, one step at a time. Seems like you have a good support system too. Stay strong and congrats on your recovery process.
Thank you for this video Allie. Could you speak to how to not give in to the pressure on female distance runners (in particular) to be thin? It feels like there is only one body type that is successful in distance running and I think it leads many to develop EDs
On a brighter note you didn't talk about the other ED...I was very confused when I saw the title. Asking myself why??? This is one of your best videos. Good insight to a condition NOBODY wants to address. Mad love being sent your way 😘
I have had an eating disorder for over two decades and I have been to so many inpatient hospitals and almost lost my life not once but twice and I could relate to pretty much everything you have said and yes recovery is so hard and you do feel worse before you feel better it sucks and I still have days where I feel like S***! You are truly an inspiration for being so open about your experience and you are inspiring me to keep going! I hope that you continue on your own path of recovery you deserve it!! Maybe do a video on when your eating disorder began! much love
The poop thing is real. Honestly it’s what freaks me out the most. Like if I eat it’s not going to come out. This gives me so much hope though! Thank you!! 😭💕 I’m trying to just remember it will get better , it will!
I never had an eating disorder, but I consider eating disorder a serious topic. I like food, but there is a point I went on food binge when I was stressing out last semester taking a challenging course and an elective. This semester is final semester of college and making an effort to exercise and doing Arcade Games Challenge to relieve stress. Thank you for sharing this pivotal topic Allie.
you are amazing. when you first spoke of your experience it genuinely struck a chord for me and helped me start to recover and heal my relationship with myself and my sport. dont worry about being defined by recovery, when people speak about it and share their story they begin to be defined by actually living and who they are as a person, at least thats what I see. recovery is about learning how to live and feel strong in your own shoes which is something i see in you. just wanted to say thank you for being real, you dont even know.
Part of creating new neural pathways I.e. learning, is to discover purpose, meaning, passion and pleasure in life. As a human. To be as empathetic and compassionate with oneself as with others. :)
Okay- to start - you rock!! Way to make that video! And as a dad of my 15 year old who has gone thru 4 years of recovery you describe it beautifully. Thank you for your honesty and clarity and personal touches. They matter. ?- have you gone to Tony Robbins Unleash the Power Within? UPW - is what we all need and especially folks in recovery. ❤️
I loved this video. You don't have to have been through a specific experience in order to empathize with somebody who going through that experience, but unlike a lot of other things, never having had an ED myself, it seems impossible to wrap my head around what that's even like. I could always sympathize, but I just didn't get it. I think besides talking to people with ED, people like me can benefit so much from videos like this just hearing a raw perspective of what one person's experience is like. It fosters so much understanding, even though everybody is unique in what they're going through.
👏👏👏👏👏👏. Perfection does not exist, it is a mith. Courage does, also trust, and do your best... forgiveness, and love. Easy to say, always so hard to live it through. We all have our hell, and deny it only make it bigger... and going through... sucks, and hurts... as hell. There is no magic pill. So, dear Allie, as a rolle model you are for the youngest (I am old, btw), I take off my hat and salute you with the greatest respect. I think that there is not other reason to show your personal "not-so-nice" stuff but love. Always be kind to yourself, I send you my love and wish you the best (without any idea of what it could be).
OMG....at first I was puzzled by the caption of the video, as with your mention of "5 things no one tells you about ed recovery", I thought...how does she have erectile dysfunction....is there something she hasn't told us? Honestly...I didn't know if it was that, or if you were giving advice about Spencer! But with all of that aside (as seriously, being an older guy, one associates ED with something that isn't an eating disorder, and I really thought you were talking about that....so I was paying attention!), I give you such great credit for sharing of all that you have been through and of the great progress and wisdom that you have. Allie Ostrander...I do believe you are going to be in great health for the long term, and will realize another level of success in the years to come. However if for some incredibly unlikely reason you suddenly couldn't break 30 minutes in a 5k, know that you are an amazing, wonderful, fun, caring and beautiful person. You have no idea beyond running of all of the great things you can do....after you win your Olympic medal! Keep being you, as that truly makes the world a better place.
I can defientely agree with everything you said in this video! ♥️Defientely about the part where you nentioned that recovery is a long process, as I have felt quite depressed and just alone a lot recently, and it's easy to just compare your life to others or the people you live with. But I just had one question about your recovery which is, did you ever have sleep problems ?🤔
Ive had a restrictive ed for 7 years now (19 rn) and ive noticed my symptoms getting worse within 3 months of recovery than it was during the peak of my disorder 😔fr balding rn but im waiting for my hair to grow back
I'm so sorry you've battled for that long. That is very damaging for your young and developing body. I hope that you can find peace in life and make a full healthy recovery. You deserve it dear
Heck ya I love this video! If you're in recovery that means you're 'healing' and healing is not pretty. Sometimes people mistake healing as reading self help books. It feels like those videos and books and practicing it is fixing them and it feels great and you're so motivated! But, healing is not a self help book/video. Healing is feeling your feels and understanding why you're doing whatever it may be (ED, workaholism gambling, drugs etc ) and it's not fun!Recovery is healing. Once you do go through the ugly dive of healing.... You will feel great afterwards! But you have to trust the healing process.
I enjoyed your VLOG. Initially I wasn’t interested in watching it only because subject matters like yours I find can be a little downer for me. However, I was interested in how you are doing. After watching I’m glad I watched. I found after being addicted to chewing Copenhagen snuff for 20 plus years the only thing that truly helped me was time. I was committed of course, but time was the only thing that helped me kick my addiction and habit. Anyway I wish you the best! In my line of work I see people in the most vulnerable situations. Trust me, you’re normal (in the sense you’re not perfect) most people have struggles. I think it’s part of being human. I think when we do things that hurt ourselves or others it’s time to try address our issues. Keep strong and recognize things that help you to stay strong because you’ll have those weak moments when you’ll need some inner power to get through it.
Toast gets burned out easy...nice to be back to bread and butter (unless Keto) Denile was huge before accessing and accepting help. Glad you are on the right track...Healthy!
ive had anorexia behaviors for over 4 years now. i thought it was normal to not poop for more than 3 days.. but when i would, i would always be constipated and just had no strength to just pop them out. now that i know that this is another symptom of anorexia, im just more broken because im still not believing that i have it.
Hi Allie! I just wanted to first say thank you so much for making these videos! They are so inspirational. I have a quick question for you if your ok with answering it. I know that you did PHP and I am thinking about trying residential. Did you find things you learned in PHP to be super beneficial and help you to pursue full recovery? Also how was the transition when trying to return to normal life back at home? Or did you feel that PHP wasn’t worth it in the long run. I’m just having a hard time with this decision and was hoping to get some feedback. Thank you so much!!
I thought PHP was great for me because it held me accountable to take actionable steps toward recovery every day. It didn’t held me completely, but it gave me a lot of tools and experience to enable me to continue making steps once I left. I think a big part of that was due to me being ready to actually recover, which is obviously the most important thing. It was harder to stay on track after leaving treatment, and my recovery progress slowed, but I was able to transition without any major backsliding.
I think with elite runners especially can run into deficiencies and autoimmune disorders caused by their bodies constantly in a catabolic state. If you've ever taken Predisone and elevated your cortisone levels you would know that it is extremely difficult to lose weight and gain muscle so the initial instinct is to lower the calories when in fact one needs the calories and nutrients and rest to get back into a recovery anabolic state. I don't believe ED in most athletes is a mental disorder but a nutritional one.
I did not think that people were supposed to do intensive training while in recovery- just realized that you are a high-performance runner and it is for some people quasi-recovery ant it does not rewire the brain enough. However recovery is different for everyone. Good luck to you! to all of us...
I don’t currently consider myself fully recovered. It’s still a work in progress, but I have taken a step back from competition to focus more energy on recovery.
Still in recovery for 4.5 years. Also, as a guy it is difficult. It does get better and oh my god it sucks. I realized the issue is that everyone has to eat. There is no way to avoid it. You have to confront this mental illness at least 3-6 times a day.
Yes! I have said this same thing so many times. It’s not like recovering from an alcohol or drug addiction where you can just avoid it. There is so much gray area, and it makes things so difficult!
Yes, and the also having to sometimes get so many people on board. Having the family and support system is so key. I am so happy that you are speaking up and out for this. Keep on speaking out for the truth. Thank you for all the ED recoverers female and male. ❤️
I think this my first comments on you tube. Eating disorders are crazy because what provokes this issue is so different among individuals. One professional will lump you into a textbook definition which does not help in recovery. I was a cross country runner years ago under the guise that faster may have meant thinner. I almost died years later because I was asking for help but did not understand what was wrong with my brain..like you describe... with many mental issues the question is .."is the stress causing the inappropriate coping mechanism or is the inappropriate coping mechanism leading to the "depression/anxiety ..great job in describing eating d/o's as a coping mechanism. My roommate went to our college coach about her own eating d/o..he was a division 1 coach lauded for winning many conference championships. he told my roommate "you don't look so bad"...a picture of a talented emaciated runner was on his wall where team meetings were held. She was the best runner in school history. It created a lot of confusion..especially because my family was full of eating issues. You have a platform based on your athletic gift. You are using it well and articulate your experience well. I just read one of the best book's that was recommended by my doctor. The name of the book is 'Surviving Survival' by Laurence Gonzales." Had i read this books earlier in my life, it could have been pivotal in my recovery. You can listen to the lectures his lectures/interviews on you tube. thanks
Thank you for the thoughtful comment and for sharing your story. I think environments like the one you describe are all too common in college. I’m hoping that that will start to change soon. Thank you for the book recommendation, I’ll have to look into that!
Good morning happy Tuesday morning and I just wanted to say that your vlogs is sooo yes I loved your channel always because you are sweetheart and you are amazing Supporter and I'm proud of you and you are sweetheart
Not to make light of this very serious topic, but I TOTALLY thought that you were about to talk about a whole DIFFERENT kind of ED. And I was thinking WOW she's kinda young to be talking about ED. But, never mind.
I seem to take everything to the extreme. I don't drink, exercise, study or diet like a normal person. My eating disorder started as just trying to stay lean and eat healthy. Pretty soon my calorie counting, over-training and weight became an obsession. As a male it was really hard to admit I was totally out of control. Been two years since I stepped on a scale and never been faster or happier!
So great to hear!
Slay them king!!! I'm a girl and I had (kind of still have) bulimia and anorexia, but I'm getting better to!
This is me and yesterday I binged so hard it was so gross bleeeeeh that’s what happens when I calorie count and over exercise and obsess over my looks
1. It starts with your mindset. You need to re commit everyday.
2. Your digestive system will not work anymore. (Pooping, digesting, everything will be hard, like you’re a newborn trying to relearn how to just freaking digest.)(Because your body isn’t used to having a normal amount of calories to process, and it’s damaged. It will work again time!)
3. Recovery is always worth it :)
No one should be defined by an eating disorder or any other disorder. These things do not define us. They challenge us, sometimes they kick our butts, sometimes they help us find a well of strength within ourselves we did not know existed. Everyone's experience is unique, and you are so right, recovery does not fix everything. It is a good start. You are courageous for sharing your experience.
thank you
I went through an eating disorder for two years in high school so I totally get it. It’s something I’ll always battle a bit, but you are so right with the neuropathways and changing them! So proud of you girl!
You’re doing such important work, Allie. I’m in my 50s, and it never really goes away for me. We’re always a work in progress. Keep on keepin’ on!
So many of us are rooting for you. Awesome that you are helping yourself and others by sharing your journey.
I appreciate the support!
today is my first true day of recovery after many relapses. i am actually stepping back from running and working with my mom and counseling/nutrition team to recover. I am ready for this. Thank you for being the person I need to hear from, learn from, and admire. I wish I could literally just be friends with you because oh my gosh you are the most authentic, real, kind, funny, and brave person I know, and I feel so connected to you and your story. Thank you. You are so strong and will always be a light to this world.
❤️❤️❤️ I wish you the absolute best in your recovery!
i found it so hard for me to trust even my family to plate my food now that i’m in recovery. i also have the stigma that you need to look a certain to have an ed which i know is not true and it is making it so hard for me to recover. thanks for sharing your thoughts, you are such an inspiration ❤️
You’re such an angel, seriously you’re so inspiring not only for your athletic life, but just in how authentic you are as a person. This video was super true, thanks for sharing!! Especially when you mentioned how “eating disorder habits are usually praised.” Eating less, going to gym even when exhausted, etc. Important video and very well said!! Hope you’re doing well 🌱💗
I almost had an eating disorder in my sophomore year and I can tell you, some of my struggles with body image almost ruined my cross country season. You did a great job explaining how you went through eating disorder recovery! Thank you so much for posting this video. I love it so much!
I’m glad that you were able to get through your struggles!
Well said, as a person living one day at a time for 33 years, recovering from alcoholism, I cannot agree more with your emphasis on TRUST. Way to go! Now on to life's other goals - knowing our reality - This is an amazing journey!
Trust is key!
I was stuck in an ED for about 4 years. Thinking
back to that time, it was the absolute loneliest, most depressed, shameful (in my mind), hopeless place I've ever been. I never got professional help, but a health complication scared me straight, though it's like being a recovering alcoholic. You'll be in 'recovery' for the rest of your life. It's always under the surface. It's such a big part of my life that I feel was wasted and if I had a resource like yours, things might have gotten better sooner. Thank you for bringing awareness to a disorder so many people suffer from, but then suffer in silence. The most personal, is also the most universal ♥️
I am happy to work to bring awareness to this issue. It shouldn’t be stigmatized and surrounded by shame!
I had an ed. Please try to work with a specialist therapist. It really makes a difference.
Brilliant list. I've been in recovery for years, and a lot of this is new and extremely helpful.
I love how you said that ED recovery is super counter-culture. Yes! And for plus-size people, it's super counter-medical advice. Doctors literally are taught eating disorder behaviors and promotion of EDs.
Thank you.
ED is an addiction just like alcoholism from my experience. I have re-educated myself to recognise the triggers so that I can empower myself to release myself from the addiction. That is, don't let those triggers ruin who you are.
We all wish we were perfect, but who likes that person. Your battles and tribulations are how we process the roads we choose to follow. They can become who you are if they take over your life. You are a World Class runner. Running dominates and surrounds your life. That is who you are.
This battle is tough. Therapy gives you the tools. Recovery can take a life time, but time makes you stronger and time does heal.
I know your one tough as nails person and you will make it. I got over smoking and oxy addiction after shoulder surgery. I got over my addictions with therapy and remembering my running days, becoming a dad and my soldiering days. That is who I am. Go Allie!!!
You’re super brave for talking about this openly Allie
Thankyou for explaining this. I work in mental health as a nurse and have cared for people with eating disorders for over 20 years. Recovery is kick started in treatment but the real work is done out in the community. It is a journey and it’s not quick. It takes time like you said. :-)
Time is medicine 👏
Yes. I had anorexia nervosa for five years and I was running and racing a lot. That was over 20 years ago. Then I got injured so I lost my coping mechanism, Ultimately after some years and finding and working with an excellent therapist I realized that it was my way to avoid dealing with very painful emotions, experiences, loss and major depression. My excessive running and limited eating was a way to prevent having to feel the feelings. It's a long road to finally stop thinking about food in a worrying way. Also, when you experience emotionally challenging situations s, problematic eating/exercise behaviors may return, try to recognize that it a symptom of something that needs to be addressed and get help to address that. I continue to regularly exercise and am fit but ultimately realised for me to be healthy, I cannot do so at the frequency, intensity focus as I used to.
Wow, I usually don’t comment but this was very unexpected. You probably don’t remember me but I was an exchange student at your high school in 2013 and also on the cross country team. RUclips recommended me this video completely out of the blue and threw me back some 9 years seeing your face. As someone who has since also experienced ED recovery I am so happy for you to speak out about this. I wish you all the best, Allie!
Emmily! I’m glad that this was helpful, and it’s so nice to hear from you. I hope you’re doing well ☺️
I'm rooting for you, Allie! I'm a fan of you as a runner but also as a person.
Thank you for setting an example for so many silently dealing with these challenges everyday. It really matters
I'm currently going through an ED. It started a few months ago out of the blue. I can so relate to you. I'd love to hear your full story in terms of what happened (the type of ED), what things were like in the midst of your ED, and what's going on now during your recovery.
It means sooooo much that you posted this. Thank you for your openness, sending you love for your journey through recovery.
Thank you for your honesty and transparency. Videos like this can really help people to understand and provide some normalcy when things are really scary
I’m nearly 69 years old. My life has been consumed with my food issues since my early teens. It’s been a struggle. I never knew there was “recovery”. Probably too late for me anyway. I truly hope it goes well for you.
It is NEVER too late. You are worth it.
Never ever too late! Keep fighting💗
It’s never too late!!
How have you not known there was recovery
These days there’s a recovery for everything ngl
Great job. If you can make a blog about an EO, you’re so on your way to health and happiness. You got this.
I don't have much issue with food, just here for moral support. You're not defined by ED, I still see you primarily as a runner (secondarily as a part-time RUclipsr), just a runner on a break. Love how you talk with clear logic. Good luck with your journey.
Thank you! Appreciate it.
I am so grateful for you, and you sharing your story. You are definitely more than your ED, but it is so important for the world that you continue to share. And important for me. God bless you.
Thank you!
This video gives me so much hope for success in recovery! The honesty and openness from you means so much. You are doing heroic things by sharing, and sharing the details 💜
Being open and honest is definitely something that is important to me!
Wow Allie. Thanks for that message and hopefully it helps many viewers. You are an amazing young woman and I will be rooting for you whatever comes next.
I love how open and authentic you are. I appreciate you sharing your journey and story of life. A video I think might be fun is one about what it was like to go from Alaska to Boise, ID
Yeah maybe I’ll talk about that! Thanks for the feedback.
Yessss love this framing of recovery as countercultural ✊. Thanks for sharing this part of your story.
Yeah it’s cool and edgy 😉
Allie, I want you to know I've been a fan for a long time, and I pray for you often--like now. And thanks for sharing.
Awesome stuff. This should help me especially as a Kenyan to educate most runners from the great Rift valley
Allie, thanks for sharing your journey through ED. The points you made are incredibly helpful to those going through a similar situation or for people that may know someone going through this. Understanding what the person is going through is helpful for people that don't understand ED. You made some great points and I learned a lot from your video. Know that you have a lot of people wishing the best for you.
Thank you 🙏
Glad you can talk about this topic. Day by day, one step at a time. Seems like you have a good support system too. Stay strong and congrats on your recovery process.
A great support system is key!
@@allie_ostrander What was the driver that USTF/Brooks got you to enter covery? Injury or BMI issues?
Thank you for this video Allie. Could you speak to how to not give in to the pressure on female distance runners (in particular) to be thin? It feels like there is only one body type that is successful in distance running and I think it leads many to develop EDs
Quite an eye opener. Thanks. Now I understand my younger brother's "recovering alcoholic" perspective a little better.
Glad it was helpful!
I admire your honesty and testimony!
You are amazing Allie! Thank you for this :)
Thank you for being open an honest about your journey!
On a brighter note you didn't talk about the other ED...I was very confused when I saw the title. Asking myself why??? This is one of your best videos. Good insight to a condition NOBODY wants to address. Mad love being sent your way 😘
Love number two . . . fabulous insight and a great great help for others to be cognizant of even if you’re not healing from an eating disorder!
Allie that was amazingly accurate! So helpful! Thank you! ❤
I have had an eating disorder for over two decades and I have been to so many inpatient hospitals and almost lost my life not once but twice and I could relate to pretty much everything you have said and yes recovery is so hard and you do feel worse before you feel better it sucks and I still have days where I feel like S***! You are truly an inspiration for being so open about your experience and you are inspiring me to keep going! I hope that you continue on your own path of recovery you deserve it!! Maybe do a video on when your eating disorder began! much love
Yes, we are in this together. Keep going ❤️
@@allie_ostrander yes of course thank you so much!! Yes you do as well :)
Thank you for sharing your experience. Your ED content is terrific!
The poop thing is real. Honestly it’s what freaks me out the most. Like if I eat it’s not going to come out. This gives me so much hope though! Thank you!! 😭💕 I’m trying to just remember it will get better , it will!
miralax and magnesium are your friends!
I never had an eating disorder, but I consider eating disorder a serious topic. I like food, but there is a point I went on food binge when I was stressing out last semester taking a challenging course and an elective. This semester is final semester of college and making an effort to exercise and doing Arcade Games Challenge to relieve stress. Thank you for sharing this pivotal topic Allie.
you are amazing. when you first spoke of your experience it genuinely struck a chord for me and helped me start to recover and heal my relationship with myself and my sport. dont worry about being defined by recovery, when people speak about it and share their story they begin to be defined by actually living and who they are as a person, at least thats what I see. recovery is about learning how to live and feel strong in your own shoes which is something i see in you. just wanted to say thank you for being real, you dont even know.
This is so nice, thank you!
Part of creating new neural pathways I.e. learning, is to discover purpose, meaning, passion and pleasure in life. As a human. To be as empathetic and compassionate with oneself as with others. :)
Working on that!
Okay- to start - you rock!! Way to make that video!
And as a dad of my 15 year old who has gone thru 4 years of recovery you describe it beautifully. Thank you for your honesty and clarity and personal touches. They matter.
?- have you gone to Tony Robbins Unleash the Power Within? UPW - is what we all need and especially folks in recovery. ❤️
I loved this video. You don't have to have been through a specific experience in order to empathize with somebody who going through that experience, but unlike a lot of other things, never having had an ED myself, it seems impossible to wrap my head around what that's even like. I could always sympathize, but I just didn't get it. I think besides talking to people with ED, people like me can benefit so much from videos like this just hearing a raw perspective of what one person's experience is like. It fosters so much understanding, even though everybody is unique in what they're going through.
I completely agree. Props to you for educating yourself!
The perfectionist-problem: Trust. I feel you totally :-).
Nice job, well done and very informative. Love your videos, keep 'em comin!
Difficult subject to cover. Thank you for a very articulate breakdown Allie O.
👏👏👏👏👏👏. Perfection does not exist, it is a mith. Courage does, also trust, and do your best... forgiveness, and love. Easy to say, always so hard to live it through. We all have our hell, and deny it only make it bigger... and going through... sucks, and hurts... as hell. There is no magic pill. So, dear Allie, as a rolle model you are for the youngest (I am old, btw), I take off my hat and salute you with the greatest respect. I think that there is not other reason to show your personal "not-so-nice" stuff but love. Always be kind to yourself, I send you my love and wish you the best (without any idea of what it could be).
OMG....at first I was puzzled by the caption of the video, as with your mention of "5 things no one tells you about ed recovery", I thought...how does she have erectile dysfunction....is there something she hasn't told us? Honestly...I didn't know if it was that, or if you were giving advice about Spencer!
But with all of that aside (as seriously, being an older guy, one associates ED with something that isn't an eating disorder, and I really thought you were talking about that....so I was paying attention!), I give you such great credit for sharing of all that you have been through and of the great progress and wisdom that you have.
Allie Ostrander...I do believe you are going to be in great health for the long term, and will realize another level of success in the years to come. However if for some incredibly unlikely reason you suddenly couldn't break 30 minutes in a 5k, know that you are an amazing, wonderful, fun, caring and beautiful person. You have no idea beyond running of all of the great things you can do....after you win your Olympic medal! Keep being you, as that truly makes the world a better place.
Thanks......just, really.....thanks, and especially thanks for honouring how hard it is. Super helpful.
I can defientely agree with everything you said in this video! ♥️Defientely about the part where you nentioned that recovery is a long process, as I have felt quite depressed and just alone a lot recently, and it's easy to just compare your life to others or the people you live with. But I just had one question about your recovery which is, did you ever have sleep problems ?🤔
Incredible… thank you. Pissed that NOT ONE DOCTOR has told me my CONSTIPATION is related to my ED
Unless you’re working with an eating disorder specialist, warning signs often go unnoticed 😡
:-(
Love this, Allie. Thank you!
What an amazing piece of video. Thank you. NOW I am a fan.
Ive had a restrictive ed for 7 years now (19 rn) and ive noticed my symptoms getting worse within 3 months of recovery than it was during the peak of my disorder 😔fr balding rn but im waiting for my hair to grow back
I'm so sorry you've battled for that long. That is very damaging for your young and developing body. I hope that you can find peace in life and make a full healthy recovery. You deserve it dear
Great video!!! I love the honest talk. Sending big hugs 🤗🫶💖❤💕
You are so strong.💗
Heck ya I love this video!
If you're in recovery that means you're 'healing' and healing is not pretty. Sometimes people mistake healing as reading self help books. It feels like those videos and books and practicing it is fixing them and it feels great and you're so motivated! But, healing is not a self help book/video. Healing is feeling your feels and understanding why you're doing whatever it may be (ED, workaholism gambling, drugs etc ) and it's not fun!Recovery is healing. Once you do go through the ugly dive of healing.... You will feel great afterwards! But you have to trust the healing process.
Healing is not pretty..such a true statement
Yes yes yes felt this so hard. Thanks for making this
I enjoyed your VLOG. Initially I wasn’t interested in watching it only because subject matters like yours I find can be a little downer for me. However, I was interested in how you are doing. After watching I’m glad I watched. I found after being addicted to chewing Copenhagen snuff for 20 plus years the only thing that truly helped me was time. I was committed of course, but time was the only thing that helped me kick my addiction and habit. Anyway I wish you the best! In my line of work I see people in the most vulnerable situations. Trust me, you’re normal (in the sense you’re not perfect) most people have struggles. I think it’s part of being human. I think when we do things that hurt ourselves or others it’s time to try address our issues. Keep strong and recognize things that help you to stay strong because you’ll have those weak moments when you’ll need some inner power to get through it.
I’m glad you took the time to watch and that you could find it relatable!
Toast gets burned out easy...nice to be back to bread and butter (unless Keto) Denile was huge before accessing and accepting help. Glad you are on the right track...Healthy!
Thank you for sharing this and your journey.
I prefer honest talk because I grew up around that type of person.
dang, thank you for this, this just hit the spot
This is an excellent video. Thank you!
Great observations💕
I’m so proud of you
Thank you for your insights Allie. PS: I have more than 9 bookx, I could top your installation.
Thank you, thank you, thank you!
ive had anorexia behaviors for over 4 years now. i thought it was normal to not poop for more than 3 days.. but when i would, i would always be constipated and just had no strength to just pop them out. now that i know that this is another symptom of anorexia, im just more broken because im still not believing that i have it.
I hate that deep voice you use, super unsettling, but the words are very real
you are a powerhouse
Hi Allie! I just wanted to first say thank you so much for making these videos! They are so inspirational. I have a quick question for you if your ok with answering it. I know that you did PHP and I am thinking about trying residential. Did you find things you learned in PHP to be super beneficial and help you to pursue full recovery? Also how was the transition when trying to return to normal life back at home? Or did you feel that PHP wasn’t worth it in the long run. I’m just having a hard time with this decision and was hoping to get some feedback. Thank you so much!!
I thought PHP was great for me because it held me accountable to take actionable steps toward recovery every day. It didn’t held me completely, but it gave me a lot of tools and experience to enable me to continue making steps once I left. I think a big part of that was due to me being ready to actually recover, which is obviously the most important thing. It was harder to stay on track after leaving treatment, and my recovery progress slowed, but I was able to transition without any major backsliding.
I think with elite runners especially can run into deficiencies and autoimmune disorders caused by their bodies constantly in a catabolic state. If you've ever taken Predisone and elevated your cortisone levels you would know that it is extremely difficult to lose weight and gain muscle so the initial instinct is to lower the calories when in fact one needs the calories and nutrients and rest to get back into a recovery anabolic state. I don't believe ED in most athletes is a mental disorder but a nutritional one.
I did not think that people were supposed to do intensive training while in recovery- just realized that you are a high-performance runner and it is for some people quasi-recovery ant it does not rewire the brain enough. However recovery is different for everyone. Good luck to you! to all of us...
I don’t currently consider myself fully recovered. It’s still a work in progress, but I have taken a step back from competition to focus more energy on recovery.
Still in recovery for 4.5 years. Also, as a guy it is difficult. It does get better and oh my god it sucks. I realized the issue is that everyone has to eat. There is no way to avoid it. You have to confront this mental illness at least 3-6 times a day.
Yes! I have said this same thing so many times. It’s not like recovering from an alcohol or drug addiction where you can just avoid it. There is so much gray area, and it makes things so difficult!
Yes, and the also having to sometimes get so many people on board. Having the family and support system is so key. I am so happy that you are speaking up and out for this. Keep on speaking out for the truth. Thank you for all the ED recoverers female and male. ❤️
it will get worse before it gets better is so true
I love this video and you!
Love the video!
Yey !! Be my goodfellow granma ! =)
I think this my first comments on you tube. Eating disorders are crazy because what provokes this issue is so different among individuals. One professional will lump you into a textbook definition which does not help in recovery. I was a cross country runner years ago under the guise that faster may have meant thinner. I almost died years later because I was asking for help but did not understand what was wrong with my brain..like you describe... with many mental issues the question is .."is the stress causing the inappropriate coping mechanism or is the inappropriate coping mechanism leading to the "depression/anxiety ..great job in describing eating d/o's as a coping mechanism. My roommate went to our college coach about her own eating d/o..he was a division 1 coach lauded for winning many conference championships. he told my roommate "you don't look so bad"...a picture of a talented emaciated runner was on his wall where team meetings were held. She was the best runner in school history. It created a lot of confusion..especially because my family was full of eating issues. You have a platform based on your athletic gift. You are using it well and articulate your experience well. I just read one of the best book's that was recommended by my doctor. The name of the book is 'Surviving Survival' by Laurence Gonzales." Had i read this books earlier in my life, it could have been pivotal in my recovery. You can listen to the lectures his lectures/interviews on you tube. thanks
Thank you for the thoughtful comment and for sharing your story. I think environments like the one you describe are all too common in college. I’m hoping that that will start to change soon. Thank you for the book recommendation, I’ll have to look into that!
Good morning happy Tuesday morning and I just wanted to say that your vlogs is sooo yes I loved your channel always because you are sweetheart and you are amazing Supporter and I'm proud of you and you are sweetheart
Wow. No one asked for a full list of the camera stack of books?! List them please!
Thanks for doing this
Ps I love the book at the top of your stack
It’s a good one!
Thanks Allie, great video. I was wondering how you were doing but didn’t want to pry. Are you still running for Brooks?
Damn..... Resonate hard
This is like my life exactly.
Thank you thank you thank you love ya 😍
Thank u so much für this Video! I wated for something like this
Dm speed ethics he'll help You
ON
Instagram.
He fixed mine he has 10k followers account RUclips is not letting me to write to you in full
Not to make light of this very serious topic, but I TOTALLY thought that you were about to talk about a whole DIFFERENT kind of ED. And I was thinking WOW she's kinda young to be talking about ED. But, never mind.
Lol
Thank you ☺️
😂😂😂 #3 though . . . in the overall scheme of things this is a very difficult issue to handle.
💖💖💖