i am so glad you posted this. i have been going through pretty much the exact same thing and thought i was completely alone. i consider myself pretty much completely healed with food, and i eat upwards of 3000 calories a day as well. however my exercise addiction is definitely at one of its peaks, and i also have OCD so I have to be extremely careful. if I walk a little more one day, then it becomes the new routine. If I do five extra minutes of abs, it becomes the new routine. it's so crazy because im still 'trying to gain weight' and sometimes i get genuinely anxious that my exercise is burning off my calories so I'll eat a ton to make up for it. but my exercise routine is so strict that it literally consumes my whole life. I walk 6x a day, to the same spot, the same distance, at the same times, and I pretty much can't leave the house for fear I won't be able to engage in this routine. I wake up and immediately do my exercises, and the worst part is that I continue them throughout the day - the exact same moves, the same number of times, in the same spot. it's like torture, but stopping gives me so much anxiety that i worry i might harm myself. the worst part is that i started exercising to be 'healthy' and help myself get some more muscle while i gain weight but now its become my OCD's new obsession. the exercises aren't even challenging at this point, my body is so used to them it's just pointless and tedious and time-consuming and extremely restrictive. I'm trying to be more spontaneous, but I physically can't function unless i complete these exercise routines. I am always asking to leave class to 'use the washroom' but really just walking around the school for five minutes. I leave my friends early at lunch so i can 'use the washroom' but just walk even more. I have these rigid food schedules and meal timings, too. I spend around 5-6 hours doing these low-intensity exercises and going for repetitive walks, and I can't even let myself sit down to enjoy a meal. sorry for the long rant, it just feels really good to know someone else struggles with OCD-driven exercise addiction. one day I ran down the driveway instead of walking and now I have to do it every. single. time. thanks for sharing your story, i really hope we can both find some ways to cope and move on from this.
Trust me when I say, you are not alone. I wanted to talk about the exercise aspect of EDs because everyone knows about the impact food has... but not many people know how hard it is to deal with the exercise addiction. Especially when it's paired with OCD tendencies. What you said about doing a little more exercise one day and then needing to repeat that the next day resonates so much with me as I do the same... It becomes compulsive and excessive and very difficult to stop. And OMG... spending hours doing low intensity exercises because you feel like you have to... me too. I often feel very alone in my ED but sharing my story has made me realize that there are also many others out there on a similar path. I know how hard it is to deal with but we can get through this together. ❤️💪
Personal opinion: Was suspected of having OCD and orthorexia/OSFED as well. The hard thing with exercise and eating disorders is it's so easy to go overboard and exceptionally difficult to find a good balance. Moving your body and exercise isn't an issue when the correct mentality is there. It's so much of a control thing that outside influence didn't even matter. It was about what my disorders wanted. Working on healing myself and balance. I don't need to excel at everything if it's actively hurting me (physically or mentally). I'm glad you're going about recovery in the way you need. The journey isn't linear. I'm still very proud of you!
You are so right... Exercise is GREAT and such an essential part of life, but can also be extremely harmful if taken too far...Then when paired with OCD... it's a lot. Working on balance and healing yourself, as you mentioned, is key to recovery. Thank you ❤️
I cant recognise u in thoes pics, u seem more happy now more independent , loving urself more ! and actually i love u more!, ty for opening up and telling ur hard story, we r lucky that ur here & were lucky to learn from u. I truelly hope that u feel safe in ur own skin and body , ur face now are shining ur eyes full of hope, i love u that way and i really think that u r a hero. Love u smmm ❤🐇🐰❤
Wow, thank you so much for this comment. You are so thoughtful and lovely and I can’t tell you how much your support means to me. Thank you so much and I love having you there for me. Take care and have a great weekend ❤️🐰🥰
i often compare exercise addictions and even eating disorders to alcoholism or drug addictions. of course they're not the same thing and these groups of people don't have the same experiences, but addictions tend to act in very similar ways. some things they all have in common is that 1. it's hard to stop, and people often don't want to (and when they do they find it incredibly difficult) and 2. it's often a coping mechanism. so for people who don't understand it and have told me to "just eat" or to "just stop exercising," i say, "okay, tell an alcoholic to just stop drinking. it isn't that simple, is it?" same for people saying they wish they had my eating disorder or they wish they had an exercise addiction or asking for "tips" after i've told them i'm struggling. you wouldn't wish to be a drug addict. you wouldn't ask an alcoholic or an addict for tips. (note: i'm not saying i know exact experiences of drug addicts or alcoholics because i have never experienced them or known someone super close to me that has talked about them, but i know that addictions act in similar ways and i think it's a way to get people to understand it more)
All addictions are similar in a way... They are just means of coping for different things but take such a hold of our minds and are hard to let go of. It's hard with an ED because you can never "stop eating". You can go your life without drinking or doing drugs, but not eating is impossible... But as you said, they also all need to be treated differently. I guess the underlying causes can sometimes be the same.
Maddie, you're addressing so many important issues-and maybe earlier in your recovery it wasn't an appropriate time to do so. The reality is that recovery can be a frustratingly long process with so many ups and downs and sometimes we can only handle addressing so much at once. I'm a lot of years in and there are still things that crop up that I need to think about/re-examine/face/challenge. Your videos do a really good job of showing how complex it can be. People's perceptions are that once you start eating/stop purging/gain weight that it's done and the reality is that it's much more complex than that. Hugs to you and your journey.
Thank you so much Tanya. Recovery is so frustrating and complex, as you said, and also takes time... There is so much more to an ED than just food and I think the exercise aspect of it needs to be spoken about more. Thank you for your support ❤️☺️
Thankyou Maddie, you are so brave to talk about this topic! I can recognise my younger self in your words so clearly. When I first started recovery at home after treatment, i still had my exercise routines and only got better with food. The exercise adiction was the thing for me that just needed longer to get better. I would have never thought, that I was able to change something but the process was just slower. The routines got smaller, the repetitions got down, then, a whole routine-block fell away, and so on. This went on for 4 years and now, I have such really good relationship with exercise. It was so worth it, to give up this addiction. But that it needed the time! Love you, keep going!❤
I have heard similar things about reducing exercise as one of the last components in recovery. I am working on reducing movement day by day much like you said to hopefully have it under control at some point. I am happy to hear you are doing better now :) Take care ❤️
Thank you for being so incredibly brave and admitting that you’ve got an issue with exercise. This week I thought that I despised exercise, I hate the way it overtakes everything, that it influences everything, that I feel forced to undertake this extreme method of punishment. I hate the way it’s glorified and admired. I hate the way I’m so influenced by what my peers are doing, how many reps, what weight, amount of steps, Kms they’ve run etc etc. It’s like having a triple whammy. What do we do with the space that exercise fills? For me the demon ED will wiggle it’s way in and give me yet another rule to follow. It’s so so hard but maybe by putting it out there, it might take the oomph out of its sails a bit. BTW I love your hair and how you’re doing your make up xxxxx
Uggh, I HATE how glorified exercise is... Yes, it can be good for you and can be an important part of life but can also be really harmful and I don't think enough people realize that. It does overtake life sometimes and society makes you feel like crap for skipping a workout when that may be the best thing for you... Anyways... we can get through this. Thank you for the lovely comment as well ❤️
Me too…. Have had an exercise addiction for many many many years…. It can be annoying at times….but so good other times! My therapist is funny because she doesn’t really see it as a problem….so it can be really hard for me to see it as a problem…. So in truth, 99% of the time, I don’t want to stop… it’s usually just when I exercise to the point of vomiting that I get upset and want to stop. But then I talk to my therapist and she think it’s fine so I no longer want to stop. It is such a mind fuck, really. So proud of you for doing this video, Maddie!
I'm sorry to hear that your therapist doesn't see the exercise as a problem... It can be good sometimes, but not to the extent where it becomes obsessive and controlling - especially if you end up being sick by the end... I'm not a professional but I don't think that's healthy. It really is a mind fuck... Thank you for commenting though and I appreciate your support. Sending love ❤️
@@maddiejaneec I so agree with you! My poor physiotherapist (I have a serious back injury) is the one that I often end up talking to about it and trying to help me fight the urges. And like you, Maddie, I’d say, definitely at times, the exercise is harder than the food piece. You are doing amazing, Maddie! I’m so inspired by your vulnerability and hard work! 💕
Thank you so much for talking openly about this. Eating habits are often picked up quickly by family and friends, but exercise was always something to go back to to cope. Watching this video made me realize, that i might not be as fine, as i wanted to be. Thank you. You are helping me and probably others. So keep going.
It's true that eating habits are much more easy to pick up on... I think it's because society has it so engrained in our minds that exercise is good. More people need to talk about the harmful sides of exercise because it can be dangerous. Hope you are doing okay ❤️
Thank you so much for sharing such a difficult topic ❤️ I've struggled with exercise addiction (it's much worse than the way my ED manifests with food) and so much of this resonated with me. It's so difficult to heal in a world where things like over exercise are glorified - you are so strong for working on this
You are so right... I hate how society has made us believe that the more exercise the better when it can be so dangerous... We can get through this together though. Take care ❤️
Thank you for your honesty! I struggle with exercise addiction as well, and it makes me feel better knowing I’m not the only one that deals with these types of thoughts and behaviors. ❤️
Thank you so much for the comment ❤️ If there is anything that I have learned from posting this video, it's that so many people suffer from exercise addiction and it's not talked about enough. I hope to do more videos on this. Take care ❤️
I know this took courage; thank you so much for putting this out there. I thought I was alone with my behaviors and it helps to know I'm not. I was on the treadmill watching this and thought I was hearing a run down of my own day. This fight is tough, draw from that grit it takes to get up an run at 4 am! Know you've got people praying for you and hoping. Keep going!
Patty, thank you for your comment ❤️ If there is anything that i have learned since posting this video it's that there are many other people going through a similar situation. It's crazy how much this problem affects so many yet so few people talk about it. You are right though... If you have the grit to get up and go for a run at 4 am then you can also use this grit to fight the ED or exercise addiction. Thank you for your support ❤️ Take care.
Hey Maddie. I love your videos and I’m so happy that you’re discussing topics that not many people want to cover/are not comfortable discussing. I’ve been following your journey for about 7 months and every time you post a new video, it’s wonderful to see how far you’ve come. I remember being so heartbroken when I watched your first video. I wanted you to get better so badly and it is truly heartwarming to see you get better by the day. Don’t put too much pressure on yourself, because we both know that’s what makes you relapse in the first place. If you can’t stop exercising, it’s okay. Don’t hate yourself because of it. No one will come at you for it, as we understand how hard it must already be for you. You will stop, eventually, if that’s what you truly think is best for you. You’ve come a long way and I’m sure you’ll be able to work on this problem, with time. Thank you so much for being honest with us and sharing your story. I’m sure it’s helping so many people out there who struggle with the same issues. One last thing. Life looks great on you, Maddie. Love from Rome ❤️
Elena, thank you for the lovely comment ❤️ I appreciate your support and thoughtful words of advice. I especially love the last thing you said about, "life looks great on you". That might be one of the nicest things someone has ever said to me and I cannot thank you enough for that. Love back to you from Toronto ❤️
Thank you for your honesty! After my recovery program I gain weight, it’s low to normal people in my height, but I so hate it, so I start to decrease my calories and start to exercise. And I literally understand your obsession wish repeating amounts of combinations of exercises. For myself - I can’t leave gym before I don’t ride an exercise bike for 60 minutes, and every next day I try to increase number of calories that I burnt, I adding more and more repeats of exercitations and can’t do less at the next day. I wish you don’t give up in your fight because you’re doing great!!!!
It's crazy how many people suffer through similar things... I wanted to share my story because it's a side of the ED that is not often talked about. Especially the aspect of increasing how much you burn one day and then needing to repeat the next... a few people have commented on how they also do this... BUT we can get through this together... Keep fighting ❤️💪
Thank you so much for continuing to share your story, Maddie! It takes a lot of strength to admit things you can improve on, especially posting it on the internet. Eating disorder, OCD, and exercise addiction have been struggles in my past. I can totally empathize with you when you said how exercise helps temporarily ease your anxiety and compulsions. Exercise addiction was one of the last components I had to face in my recovery. It can be difficult to find the right balance when society promotes always being on the go and active as the ideal way to be. Keep up the hard work! You've got this. 😁
Thank you for the comment Sarah :) It is a hard battle with EDs, OCD and exercise but I know I just have to keep fighting. Nice to hear that I am not alone in this and there is another side ❤️ Take care!
As someone who also has an exercise addiction…. who would wake up at 3am to do 4 hours of intense exercise a day and walk 7-8 miles a day (THAT IS NOT NORMAL) I want to reassure you that it is possible to get over this addiction. For the first time I took a rest day which hasn’t happened in one year and it didn’t bother me at all. I also am just engaging in exercise I enjoy, I did get my period back last month as well. Maddie you can do this, I know you can!
I can totally relate to the insane exercise routine... it's exhausting mentally and physically. Thank you so much for your comment, it means a lot when people share pieces of their own journey and how they have gotten over bad habits. I am finding the exercise piece the hardest to overcome so your comment has provided a little bit of inspiration, thank you.❤️
Oh yikes Maddie, this is not recovery at all! You wake up and exercise and then eat breakfast and exercise again? That's just purging. I'm sending you lots of good vibes and I believe in you. I hope you decide to fully let go of your ED- it's so worth it!!!! Just don't lie to yourself, you won't rewire your fear of weight gain if you don't stop trying to compensate for the food you are eating. You got this! xo
Brooke, I realize that continuing with the exercise is not ideal and as I mentioned, it is something I am really working towards reducing. However, I do still consider myself to be in recovery. Recovery is not linear and there are many steps to be taken before I consider myself "recovered" which I am far from. But I do appreciate the support and value your comment, so thank you.❤️
@@maddiejaneec I do understand your thinking Maddie, but if you watch any of Tabitha Farrar or Becky Freestone you'll understand that right now you are obviously gaining weight but you're not rewiring your brain by doing the purging behaviors. You'll just end up in a bigger body and still have an eating disordered mind. It's hard but it's worth it!
So proud of you! This may be the turning point for you!!! Mine came when I was so sick (pneumonia) I could barely stand up… and I was trying to put on my running shorts and sneakers… it wasn’t until I was halfway down my front steps clutching the railing to keep from falling over that I realized how crazy I was being!!!’ I almost got behind the wheel… that was the first day I didn’t exercise… (I did however sleep for 11 hours) you’ve wasted so much of your time… don’t let this disorder steal anything else from you!!!
Thank you Emily! I am sorry to hear that you had to get sick to stop exercise but I am glad you are better now. I am slowly working on decreasing my movement day by day, but as I said, it is still challenging. I have wasted so much time already and don't want to lose more! Take care ❤️
Everyone has a different recover journey and what works for you may not work for me… recovery is about improvement not perfection… and working on areas in which we are weaker… I also think that making exercise forbidden will only make you crave it more and then feel guilty abt doing it afterwards… neither of which is helpful… so try your best to cut back and take rest time… but also… don’t be too hard on yourself if you slip… ❤️
This is I would think pretty common with your struggle. Kind of like an alcoholic who is a chain smoker. I wouldn't think they could stop both at the same time. But you are ready now to slowly address this part of your whole addiction. One step at a time. You are doing great! Give yourself credit for how far you have come. You got this. Little bit by little bit. And you sharing is helping others!
Everyone else said it better already but I just wanted to chime in and say that I'm proud of you for making this video. You're a strong woman; you can do anything you set your mind to do, even if it feels impossible. There's always a way. Stay strong; you'll find what works for you 💕
This is definitely one of the most under-talked about symptoms bc nobody sees it and thinks of it as bad, like the huge number of comments I’ve gotten saying like “wow I love how much discipline you have” or “I wish I had the motivation to go to the gym as much as you” etc where to me it’s like not a choice because I couldn’t fathom NOT doing that. Even in bulimia recovery I told my mom I was supposed to drastically reduce my exercise and she couldn’t understand there being such a thing as “too much” exercise
U probably already know this but if you love your self your exercise will become a nice loving thing to do. Honestly you have helped me a lot on my own jurney so take care of your self because you really deserve it look at your self as a wonderful human in every other aspect of your life except from exercise and I'm sure it will follow. Plese try to be as happy in this life as u made me❤❤
Aww Maddie you have been through so much but wow you have come so far! Thank you for sharing your story. I did wonder how you were managing the exercising and was even going to ask you last week if you exercised before going to bed after the milk shake challenge but thought it was inappropriate. I don't have an ED but I do like to exercise for an hour every second day and also do a couple of long walks during the week. Even though this is not excessive I do feel guilty if I don't keep to this routine. As you have managed so well with your food intake I'm sure you will overcome the exercise addiction so don't be too hard on yourself. Great video. Take care 😍
Thank you Dianne ❤️ The exercise has been an issue, but I think that talking about it really helps... I hate how society has made us see exercise this way and feel shameful when we "miss a workout" but it's OKAY. I hope you have a great week ☺️
Thank you for what you do! It is so helpful just to talk about your troubles and be real. Realizing your struggles is the first step to move forward! This is def a topic and you and me both need to address... BTW Sydney Cummings is amazing!!! I found your channel through a comment you posted on one of her videos. She is so helpful in discovering healthy exercise. Keep up the good work!
Bravo Maddie, for your courage in speaking your truth. 🙌 Your eyes have so much more light in them compared to earlier photos you shared. Long may that continue, friend! 🌌🍄
Thanks for being so honest. You remind me of myself. I’d also only hang out with friends if we’d be doing something active like walking or going for a hike etc. otherwise it felt like “wasted time” sitting around anywhere. For years I did “intense” hot yoga for 3 hours a day, would ride my bike there and back 15 miles, then workout in the elliptical for 2 hours a days every day. I remember one day there was a snow storm and I almost killed myself trying to drive to get to yoga because I couldn’t take ONE day off. I slid off the road and my biggest fear was “omg I can’t do my usual hot yoga today and How will I have time to exercise to make up for not being able to bike “ instead of “my car slid off the road I just got into an accident” and I realized what as issue I had. It took a job change in which I worked 14h days, 6 days a week and where I literally did not have time to exercise to change. Now I have to say exercising or going to a hot yoga class a few times a week is SOOO much more enjoyable than forcing myself to do my routine every single day. It is hard but once you break that “routine” it gets easier and easier. I can not imagine ever going back to exercising hours a day like that. I fooled myself at the time into thinking it was enjoyable but it wasn’t.
Thank you for sharing your story (glad you are okay!) It's true that exercise can have such a strong hold over us... I think you're right in that when we do it less often, we enjoy it more when we do engage in something active. I definitely don't enjoy a lot of the exercise I am doing... but do love some things like hiking, running, surfing etc. Thank you for the comment and I hope you have a good week!
You're amazing and I'm so proud of you!!💗 I'm sure this was very difficult to share. You're helping so many people. I understand exercise addiction. I've been there and it's honestly still a struggle. Rest days, I struggle. You're such an inspiration to me💗
Thank you for being so open about this Maddie. I think it's amazing that you are being so honest about where you are in recovery. I've never struggled with exercise addiction but I struggle a lot with compulsive body checking. So while my relationship with food was getting better, and I wasn't using behaviors, I was still constantly body checking. I had to cover all of my mirrors and they have been that way for awhile. I still body check and I'm not completely free from this behavior. It's totally ok to do these things in stages and to meet yourself where you are. There is no right way to recover, there is only what works for you. Lots of love to you and Fig! ❤️
I think it's important to be honest so that others who may be going through a similar thing feel less alone... Compulsive body checking is another thing I deal with as well... Always looking in mirrors, using clothes as measurements and using hands to measure certain areas... Perhaps I should do a video on this as well because it's definitely something that people struggle with, also something hard to stop. There are so many aspects to an ED that people don't talk about... Thank you for the comment as always and love back to you from Fig and I ❤️🐰
Amazing hun that you have been able to admit to yourself and others and be honest about exercise the fact that you recognise this and want to change means you are already one step closer to doing so.you have come so far and i have no doubt you will over come this aswel.keep going strong hun you have 100% got this xx
@@maddiejaneec i agree hun i struggle myself and also have been in recovery for over a year now.thankyou you to we are in isolation at the moment as my little boy has covid x
same 🥺 I'm currently impatient for orthorexia and sports addiction and it's so hard, I'm allowed to walk and do some physio but only go for a half an hour run a week and I can't follow the rule, I use every minute I'm allowed to leave the hospital to workout and go bouldering. I feel like my world collapses when I stop, I don't know how to handle the emotions coming up, when I rest and I'm autistic as well, so I definitely get the ocd problem with my own routines and rules. I still eat everything in a circle and safe the best bite for the end. It's exhausting 😩
I knew I was watching this whole video when you said about people saying “I wish I was addicted to exercise”. I am very much in the midst of this right now and although I have amazing support, I can’t see realistically that I can ever break out about this. Every time I convince that maybe the ED team are right and I’m at risk or this is too much…society praises me for something exercise related…and my brain loses all its resolve to do something about it. Exercise is currently a full time jobs’s worth of time for me each week…on top of my actual Job
And I think a key thing is working out which physical activity is for YOU and which is for the ED, and that’s not easy or straightforward. For me I only started acknowledging I had an issue when it was pointed out to me that I had ditched my beloved roller skating (I’m a skatepark quad skater and do circus stuff too) with friends, to run, gym or attend gym classes on my own. That’s for the ED not me.
Maddie you're so strong!! Saying 'dont be hard on yourself' is useless but maybe try to be more compassionate with yourself because recovery isn't a linear line. Little by little- little becomes a lot! You've come so far and sometimes just look back and see how far you've come 🤍🤍
I'm a boy and i wish i could hug you and cry together because i had the same problems some years ago, now like you said I'm eating a lot and not worry about calories, but like you said i feel that i need to exercise, so thsnks to you i will not exercise tomorrow because my body hurts today, and you nade me realize that I'm not alone and that i still really have s problem 😢😢❤❤❤
Maddie, u were very brave to share this! If someone give u "backlash" for it, it is their issue. U don't owe us your private life details! Take it easy
I am the total opposite. I have some eating disorder habits but i hate moving, I don't want to carry my body, feel it. So I try to incorporate a teeny tiny bit of very gentle movements: stretching my back or my head for a minute or two. Would you consider possible to decrease very very slowly your exercices? Like for example: instead of 20 pushes, starting by doing one less. The difference would be subtle that you could stand it and not panic? And then the next week, 18 or 2 minutes less of cardio...
I find that yoga is really helpful when I am feeling really upset with my body. It brings a certain understanding of the functionality of the body and is less focused on trying to get your body to "look" a certain way. I have been trying to slowly cut back on reps, as you suggested, but still find it difficult. I will keep trying though! Take care! ❤️
Oh Maddie, I felt so sorry for you seeing the pics. Love to see you so much better now! And - why not do a yoga video? ;-) Focus on the positive... I am also a big exercise lover (maybe addicted, I suppose). But I am about 40 years old now and I realize, that my body just gets TIRED of every day exercise. And I am pretty sure, yours is, too. Maybe it is a self love thing to say: I deserve a break today. Only today, only once a week - because I love myself and my body is my castle... Hopefully I make sense...
I have been thinking of posting a yoga video! I'm sure my body is also tired... I am working towards giving myself a rest day, but find it difficult. I think you're right about trying to make it a self-love thing, maybe it would be easier if I think of it that way. Thank you :)
@@maddiejaneec You could spend that day somewhere nice and with somebody you really love and who respects you and supports you - like your best friend or so. Go out, to a museum or so, have a splendid breakfast or a massage, some sauna or another wellness treat you enjoy. Plan the day to perfection and it could be so, so nice for you
Just keep going! You’re being hard on yourself. It takes time and doing it all at once doesn’t work for everyone! And honestly I have a dog and so yes I am out every single day for our walks lol no matter the weather. And a lot of my clients don’t let the weather stop them either. So it’s normal?!? Hehe 😉 Love waking up Saturday’s and watching you because it’s inspiring to see how far you’ve come. Xoxo
I'm glad you like the videos! I guess in a way walking and going out everyday is normal, just not in addition to everything else. But I think no matter what walking and being outdoors is great for the soul and mind. It's when it is driven by the disorder that it becomes harmful. Hope you have a great week ☺️
No, going for a walk although it rains, snows, its freaking cold, whatever, just eventough the weather conditions are very harsh just to fulfill the routine is NOT normal!
@@lroumet3316 I think if the intention is to fill a routine and engage in bad exercise behaviours then no, it's not normal. However, if you need to because of something like walking a dog then yes. For me, however, I agree, not normal.
This video was just more useful, than the ,,calories" before. I was also having a realy bad, hard exercise addiction and i say, it was definetly worser that the ,,simple anorexia". Sadly, i feel your tought on that. (,,I need to burn everything",,,If i don't workout, i'm not allowed to eat", ,,I need to do more", ,,I just want to see my abs, it isn't abnormal, what i'm doing" and so on... The most hardest part, sometimes i still struggle, but i'm proud of myself, because i was having enought POWER to stop it, for like a half year. (Yes, and that means POWER and STRENGHT, not your 20 km run after a slice of apple.) Now, luckily i'm doing it for FUN (i never tought on last year, that i'm gonna say that now...), i take rest days and if i burn mor calories, i eat more, because my body needs it!:) I'm also proud of YOU and really happy, that you can help me also with these topics.
Exercise addictions need to be talked about more... We all know about EDs and other addictions but exercise is a tricky one to talk about. Society has made us believe that skipping a workout and eating dessert is bad when it can actually be the best thing for you! I do love some forms of exercise and am working towards getting to a point where I do it for fun, not for torture...Thank you for the comment and I hope you have a great weekend :)
I'm a lazy couch potato, used to have an exercise addiction twice. My first time was back in early 2019, then recovered due to hospitalisation and attempted recovery. 2nd time was in late 2019, I tried to exercise again because exercise relieves bloating, then promised myself to not go back to addictive exercising, and before you know, it was a daily ritual, eventually my cross trainer broke and I had to do it via steps without leaving the house because '''uwu scawy'. So I ended up walking around my house for 4 hours straight no pause, getting 20k steps up on a daily basis, In December my Bulimia developed and I started exercising less and less and before you know it I quit, luckily. However I stepped from one habit to another and now I've been stuck with Bulimia nervosa for 2 years now, by bping on a daily basis for 6+ times a day. Be careful when starting to make a 'healthy' habit.
You are NOT lazy... It's important to allow your body to rest. I have even heard that over-exercise can cause bloating...? (Not sure if that's true or not though). I used to struggle really badly with bulimia and it took a very long time to stop. I do plan on making a video about it so let me know if you are interested. You are right about being careful when starting a "healthy habit" as it can go downhill very fast. We all just need to be cautious about what we say and do in front of others. Take care ❤️
@@maddiejaneec tysm, also yes i'd definitely be interested in a video about bulimia, i fucking wish the bp cycle would just end. Also you're right about me not being lazy, however i still am a couch potato 😔✊
I always used exercise as a way to control my weight in the ed. But because you are gaining weight anyway, why not try to stop. Its like you are recovered physically but not mentally. That is the worst of both worlds! Thats what motivated me to stop. Exercise is not stopping you gaining weight anymore, so what other purpose does it provide?
You are very right... I think at this point it's more about the OCD and the feeling as though I "have" to exercise as opposed to doing it to lose weight. Either way I know I need to work on it. I hope you have a good week!
Hi! This video was so important to me❤ O have struggled with this a lot and I am currently trying to reduce it to an amount I actually enjoy. I actually completely stopped running! You can do this too❤
Thank you for being honest and sharing your journey Maddie! But please refrain from sharing the "ill" pictures, there is really no reason and it could do more harm to your audience.
Sara, I'm sorry if the images upset you. My intention is to never do anyone harm... I chose to include some pictures to prove how horrible the illness is. However, I do know it can be taken the wrong way which is why I included a trigger warning.
i am so glad you posted this. i have been going through pretty much the exact same thing and thought i was completely alone. i consider myself pretty much completely healed with food, and i eat upwards of 3000 calories a day as well. however my exercise addiction is definitely at one of its peaks, and i also have OCD so I have to be extremely careful. if I walk a little more one day, then it becomes the new routine. If I do five extra minutes of abs, it becomes the new routine. it's so crazy because im still 'trying to gain weight' and sometimes i get genuinely anxious that my exercise is burning off my calories so I'll eat a ton to make up for it. but my exercise routine is so strict that it literally consumes my whole life. I walk 6x a day, to the same spot, the same distance, at the same times, and I pretty much can't leave the house for fear I won't be able to engage in this routine. I wake up and immediately do my exercises, and the worst part is that I continue them throughout the day - the exact same moves, the same number of times, in the same spot. it's like torture, but stopping gives me so much anxiety that i worry i might harm myself. the worst part is that i started exercising to be 'healthy' and help myself get some more muscle while i gain weight but now its become my OCD's new obsession. the exercises aren't even challenging at this point, my body is so used to them it's just pointless and tedious and time-consuming and extremely restrictive. I'm trying to be more spontaneous, but I physically can't function unless i complete these exercise routines. I am always asking to leave class to 'use the washroom' but really just walking around the school for five minutes. I leave my friends early at lunch so i can 'use the washroom' but just walk even more. I have these rigid food schedules and meal timings, too. I spend around 5-6 hours doing these low-intensity exercises and going for repetitive walks, and I can't even let myself sit down to enjoy a meal. sorry for the long rant, it just feels really good to know someone else struggles with OCD-driven exercise addiction. one day I ran down the driveway instead of walking and now I have to do it every. single. time. thanks for sharing your story, i really hope we can both find some ways to cope and move on from this.
Trust me when I say, you are not alone. I wanted to talk about the exercise aspect of EDs because everyone knows about the impact food has... but not many people know how hard it is to deal with the exercise addiction. Especially when it's paired with OCD tendencies. What you said about doing a little more exercise one day and then needing to repeat that the next day resonates so much with me as I do the same... It becomes compulsive and excessive and very difficult to stop. And OMG... spending hours doing low intensity exercises because you feel like you have to... me too. I often feel very alone in my ED but sharing my story has made me realize that there are also many others out there on a similar path. I know how hard it is to deal with but we can get through this together. ❤️💪
Personal opinion: Was suspected of having OCD and orthorexia/OSFED as well. The hard thing with exercise and eating disorders is it's so easy to go overboard and exceptionally difficult to find a good balance. Moving your body and exercise isn't an issue when the correct mentality is there.
It's so much of a control thing that outside influence didn't even matter. It was about what my disorders wanted. Working on healing myself and balance. I don't need to excel at everything if it's actively hurting me (physically or mentally).
I'm glad you're going about recovery in the way you need. The journey isn't linear. I'm still very proud of you!
Yes exactly. Exercise isn’t harmful at all, but over exercising is, especially if you’re doing it for all the wrong reasons.
You are so right... Exercise is GREAT and such an essential part of life, but can also be extremely harmful if taken too far...Then when paired with OCD... it's a lot. Working on balance and healing yourself, as you mentioned, is key to recovery. Thank you ❤️
I cant recognise u in thoes pics, u seem more happy now more independent , loving urself more ! and actually i love u more!, ty for opening up and telling ur hard story, we r lucky that ur here & were lucky to learn from u. I truelly hope that u feel safe in ur own skin and body , ur face now are shining ur eyes full of hope, i love u that way and i really think that u r a hero. Love u smmm ❤🐇🐰❤
Wow, thank you so much for this comment. You are so thoughtful and lovely and I can’t tell you how much your support means to me. Thank you so much and I love having you there for me. Take care and have a great weekend ❤️🐰🥰
i often compare exercise addictions and even eating disorders to alcoholism or drug addictions. of course they're not the same thing and these groups of people don't have the same experiences, but addictions tend to act in very similar ways. some things they all have in common is that 1. it's hard to stop, and people often don't want to (and when they do they find it incredibly difficult) and 2. it's often a coping mechanism.
so for people who don't understand it and have told me to "just eat" or to "just stop exercising," i say, "okay, tell an alcoholic to just stop drinking. it isn't that simple, is it?"
same for people saying they wish they had my eating disorder or they wish they had an exercise addiction or asking for "tips" after i've told them i'm struggling. you wouldn't wish to be a drug addict. you wouldn't ask an alcoholic or an addict for tips.
(note: i'm not saying i know exact experiences of drug addicts or alcoholics because i have never experienced them or known someone super close to me that has talked about them, but i know that addictions act in similar ways and i think it's a way to get people to understand it more)
All addictions are similar in a way... They are just means of coping for different things but take such a hold of our minds and are hard to let go of. It's hard with an ED because you can never "stop eating". You can go your life without drinking or doing drugs, but not eating is impossible... But as you said, they also all need to be treated differently. I guess the underlying causes can sometimes be the same.
Maddie, you're addressing so many important issues-and maybe earlier in your recovery it wasn't an appropriate time to do so. The reality is that recovery can be a frustratingly long process with so many ups and downs and sometimes we can only handle addressing so much at once. I'm a lot of years in and there are still things that crop up that I need to think about/re-examine/face/challenge. Your videos do a really good job of showing how complex it can be. People's perceptions are that once you start eating/stop purging/gain weight that it's done and the reality is that it's much more complex than that. Hugs to you and your journey.
Thank you so much Tanya. Recovery is so frustrating and complex, as you said, and also takes time... There is so much more to an ED than just food and I think the exercise aspect of it needs to be spoken about more. Thank you for your support ❤️☺️
Thankyou Maddie, you are so brave to talk about this topic! I can recognise my younger self in your words so clearly. When I first started recovery at home after treatment, i still had my exercise routines and only got better with food. The exercise adiction was the thing for me that just needed longer to get better. I would have never thought, that I was able to change something but the process was just slower. The routines got smaller, the repetitions got down, then, a whole routine-block fell away, and so on. This went on for 4 years and now, I have such really good relationship with exercise. It was so worth it, to give up this addiction. But that it needed the time!
Love you, keep going!❤
I have heard similar things about reducing exercise as one of the last components in recovery. I am working on reducing movement day by day much like you said to hopefully have it under control at some point. I am happy to hear you are doing better now :) Take care ❤️
Thank you for being so incredibly brave and admitting that you’ve got an issue with exercise.
This week I thought that I despised exercise, I hate the way it overtakes everything, that it influences everything, that I feel forced to undertake this extreme method of punishment. I hate the way it’s glorified and admired. I hate the way I’m so influenced by what my peers are doing, how many reps, what weight, amount of steps, Kms they’ve run etc etc.
It’s like having a triple whammy. What do we do with the space that exercise fills? For me the demon ED will wiggle it’s way in and give me yet another rule to follow. It’s so so hard but maybe by putting it out there, it might take the oomph out of its sails a bit.
BTW I love your hair and how you’re doing your make up xxxxx
Uggh, I HATE how glorified exercise is... Yes, it can be good for you and can be an important part of life but can also be really harmful and I don't think enough people realize that. It does overtake life sometimes and society makes you feel like crap for skipping a workout when that may be the best thing for you... Anyways... we can get through this. Thank you for the lovely comment as well ❤️
@@maddiejaneec I really respect your honesty, vulnerability and bravery xxxx. Keep going warrior woman and don’t let the bu….S grind you down. Xxxx
I admire you for opening up about this overlooked thing, I understand being completely transparent on here can be difficult... Thank you for this!! ❤️
Thank you for the support. It's hard to share but I just hope it's helping someone out there ❤️
Me too…. Have had an exercise addiction for many many many years…. It can be annoying at times….but so good other times! My therapist is funny because she doesn’t really see it as a problem….so it can be really hard for me to see it as a problem…. So in truth, 99% of the time, I don’t want to stop… it’s usually just when I exercise to the point of vomiting that I get upset and want to stop. But then I talk to my therapist and she think it’s fine so I no longer want to stop. It is such a mind fuck, really. So proud of you for doing this video, Maddie!
I'm sorry to hear that your therapist doesn't see the exercise as a problem... It can be good sometimes, but not to the extent where it becomes obsessive and controlling - especially if you end up being sick by the end... I'm not a professional but I don't think that's healthy. It really is a mind fuck... Thank you for commenting though and I appreciate your support. Sending love ❤️
@@maddiejaneec I so agree with you! My poor physiotherapist (I have a serious back injury) is the one that I often end up talking to about it and trying to help me fight the urges. And like you, Maddie, I’d say, definitely at times, the exercise is harder than the food piece. You are doing amazing, Maddie! I’m so inspired by your vulnerability and hard work! 💕
Thank you so much for talking openly about this. Eating habits are often picked up quickly by family and friends, but exercise was always something to go back to to cope. Watching this video made me realize, that i might not be as fine, as i wanted to be. Thank you. You are helping me and probably others. So keep going.
It's true that eating habits are much more easy to pick up on... I think it's because society has it so engrained in our minds that exercise is good. More people need to talk about the harmful sides of exercise because it can be dangerous. Hope you are doing okay ❤️
Thank you so much for sharing such a difficult topic ❤️ I've struggled with exercise addiction (it's much worse than the way my ED manifests with food) and so much of this resonated with me. It's so difficult to heal in a world where things like over exercise are glorified - you are so strong for working on this
You are so right... I hate how society has made us believe that the more exercise the better when it can be so dangerous... We can get through this together though. Take care ❤️
Thank you for your honesty! I struggle with exercise addiction as well, and it makes me feel better knowing I’m not the only one that deals with these types of thoughts and behaviors. ❤️
Thank you so much for the comment ❤️ If there is anything that I have learned from posting this video, it's that so many people suffer from exercise addiction and it's not talked about enough. I hope to do more videos on this. Take care ❤️
I know this took courage; thank you so much for putting this out there. I thought I was alone with my behaviors and it helps to know I'm not. I was on the treadmill watching this and thought I was hearing a run down of my own day. This fight is tough, draw from that grit it takes to get up an run at 4 am! Know you've got people praying for you and hoping. Keep going!
Patty, thank you for your comment ❤️ If there is anything that i have learned since posting this video it's that there are many other people going through a similar situation. It's crazy how much this problem affects so many yet so few people talk about it. You are right though... If you have the grit to get up and go for a run at 4 am then you can also use this grit to fight the ED or exercise addiction. Thank you for your support ❤️ Take care.
Hey Maddie. I love your videos and I’m so happy that you’re discussing topics that not many people want to cover/are not comfortable discussing. I’ve been following your journey for about 7 months and every time you post a new video, it’s wonderful to see how far you’ve come. I remember being so heartbroken when I watched your first video. I wanted you to get better so badly and it is truly heartwarming to see you get better by the day. Don’t put too much pressure on yourself, because we both know that’s what makes you relapse in the first place. If you can’t stop exercising, it’s okay. Don’t hate yourself because of it. No one will come at you for it, as we understand how hard it must already be for you. You will stop, eventually, if that’s what you truly think is best for you. You’ve come a long way and I’m sure you’ll be able to work on this problem, with time.
Thank you so much for being honest with us and sharing your story. I’m sure it’s helping so many people out there who struggle with the same issues.
One last thing. Life looks great on you, Maddie.
Love from Rome ❤️
Elena, thank you for the lovely comment ❤️ I appreciate your support and thoughtful words of advice. I especially love the last thing you said about, "life looks great on you". That might be one of the nicest things someone has ever said to me and I cannot thank you enough for that. Love back to you from Toronto ❤️
@@maddiejaneecYou’re very welcome. Take care. I look forward to next Saturday ❤️
Thank you for your honesty! After my recovery program I gain weight, it’s low to normal people in my height, but I so hate it, so I start to decrease my calories and start to exercise. And I literally understand your obsession wish repeating amounts of combinations of exercises. For myself - I can’t leave gym before I don’t ride an exercise bike for 60 minutes, and every next day I try to increase number of calories that I burnt, I adding more and more repeats of exercitations and can’t do less at the next day. I wish you don’t give up in your fight because you’re doing great!!!!
It's crazy how many people suffer through similar things... I wanted to share my story because it's a side of the ED that is not often talked about. Especially the aspect of increasing how much you burn one day and then needing to repeat the next... a few people have commented on how they also do this... BUT we can get through this together... Keep fighting ❤️💪
Thank you so much for continuing to share your story, Maddie! It takes a lot of strength to admit things you can improve on, especially posting it on the internet. Eating disorder, OCD, and exercise addiction have been struggles in my past. I can totally empathize with you when you said how exercise helps temporarily ease your anxiety and compulsions. Exercise addiction was one of the last components I had to face in my recovery. It can be difficult to find the right balance when society promotes always being on the go and active as the ideal way to be. Keep up the hard work! You've got this. 😁
Thank you for the comment Sarah :) It is a hard battle with EDs, OCD and exercise but I know I just have to keep fighting. Nice to hear that I am not alone in this and there is another side ❤️ Take care!
@@maddiejaneec There is another side and it is so worth it! Still the occasional bump in the road, but much more peaceful and enjoyable as a whole. 😁
As someone who also has an exercise addiction…. who would wake up at 3am to do 4 hours of intense exercise a day and walk 7-8 miles a day (THAT IS NOT NORMAL) I want to reassure you that it is possible to get over this addiction. For the first time I took a rest day which hasn’t happened in one year and it didn’t bother me at all. I also am just engaging in exercise I enjoy, I did get my period back last month as well. Maddie you can do this, I know you can!
I can totally relate to the insane exercise routine... it's exhausting mentally and physically. Thank you so much for your comment, it means a lot when people share pieces of their own journey and how they have gotten over bad habits. I am finding the exercise piece the hardest to overcome so your comment has provided a little bit of inspiration, thank you.❤️
Love your honesty girl! Praying for your healing! You’re gonna get through this
Thank you so much, I appreciate the support ❤️
Oh yikes Maddie, this is not recovery at all! You wake up and exercise and then eat breakfast and exercise again? That's just purging. I'm sending you lots of good vibes and I believe in you. I hope you decide to fully let go of your ED- it's so worth it!!!! Just don't lie to yourself, you won't rewire your fear of weight gain if you don't stop trying to compensate for the food you are eating. You got this! xo
Brooke, I realize that continuing with the exercise is not ideal and as I mentioned, it is something I am really working towards reducing. However, I do still consider myself to be in recovery. Recovery is not linear and there are many steps to be taken before I consider myself "recovered" which I am far from. But I do appreciate the support and value your comment, so thank you.❤️
@@maddiejaneec I do understand your thinking Maddie, but if you watch any of Tabitha Farrar or Becky Freestone you'll understand that right now you are obviously gaining weight but you're not rewiring your brain by doing the purging behaviors. You'll just end up in a bigger body and still have an eating disordered mind. It's hard but it's worth it!
So proud of you! This may be the turning point for you!!! Mine came when I was so sick (pneumonia) I could barely stand up… and I was trying to put on my running shorts and sneakers… it wasn’t until I was halfway down my front steps clutching the railing to keep from falling over that I realized how crazy I was being!!!’ I almost got behind the wheel… that was the first day I didn’t exercise… (I did however sleep for 11 hours) you’ve wasted so much of your time… don’t let this disorder steal anything else from you!!!
Thank you Emily! I am sorry to hear that you had to get sick to stop exercise but I am glad you are better now. I am slowly working on decreasing my movement day by day, but as I said, it is still challenging. I have wasted so much time already and don't want to lose more! Take care ❤️
Everyone has a different recover journey and what works for you may not work for me… recovery is about improvement not perfection… and working on areas in which we are weaker… I also think that making exercise forbidden will only make you crave it more and then feel guilty abt doing it afterwards… neither of which is helpful… so try your best to cut back and take rest time… but also… don’t be too hard on yourself if you slip… ❤️
This is I would think pretty common with your struggle. Kind of like an alcoholic who is a chain smoker. I wouldn't think they could stop both at the same time. But you are ready now to slowly address this part of your whole addiction. One step at a time. You are doing great! Give yourself credit for how far you have come. You got this. Little bit by little bit. And you sharing is helping others!
One step at a time is great advice... You can't recover in one day, it takes time. Thank you for the comment ☺️ Take care ❤️
Everyone else said it better already but I just wanted to chime in and say that I'm proud of you for making this video. You're a strong woman; you can do anything you set your mind to do, even if it feels impossible. There's always a way. Stay strong; you'll find what works for you 💕
Thank you Marie ❤️ I appreciate the comment ☺️
This is definitely one of the most under-talked about symptoms bc nobody sees it and thinks of it as bad, like the huge number of comments I’ve gotten saying like “wow I love how much discipline you have” or “I wish I had the motivation to go to the gym as much as you” etc where to me it’s like not a choice because I couldn’t fathom NOT doing that. Even in bulimia recovery I told my mom I was supposed to drastically reduce my exercise and she couldn’t understand there being such a thing as “too much” exercise
U probably already know this but if you love your self your exercise will become a nice loving thing to do. Honestly you have helped me a lot on my own jurney so take care of your self because you really deserve it look at your self as a wonderful human in every other aspect of your life except from exercise and I'm sure it will follow. Plese try to be as happy in this life as u made me❤❤
It makes me so happy to hear that I have helped you, thank you for sharing ❤️ I am proud of you for fighting, we've got this 💪
Aww Maddie you have been through so much but wow you have come so far! Thank you for sharing your story. I did wonder how you were managing the exercising and was even going to ask you last week if you exercised before going to bed after the milk shake challenge but thought it was inappropriate. I don't have an ED but I do like to exercise for an hour every second day and also do a couple of long walks during the week. Even though this is not excessive I do feel guilty if I don't keep to this routine. As you have managed so well with your food intake I'm sure you will overcome the exercise addiction so don't be too hard on yourself. Great video. Take care 😍
Thank you Dianne ❤️ The exercise has been an issue, but I think that talking about it really helps... I hate how society has made us see exercise this way and feel shameful when we "miss a workout" but it's OKAY. I hope you have a great week ☺️
Thank you for what you do! It is so helpful just to talk about your troubles and be real. Realizing your struggles is the first step to move forward! This is def a topic and you and me both need to address... BTW Sydney Cummings is amazing!!! I found your channel through a comment you posted on one of her videos. She is so helpful in discovering healthy exercise. Keep up the good work!
Sydney really is the best, that girl deserves so much love ❤️ Glad you found my channel through her!
Bravo Maddie, for your courage in speaking your truth. 🙌
Your eyes have so much more light in them compared to earlier photos you shared.
Long may that continue, friend!
🌌🍄
Awww thank you so much ❤️ I hope you have a good weekend ☺️
Thanks for being so honest. You remind me of myself. I’d also only hang out with friends if we’d be doing something active like walking or going for a hike etc. otherwise it felt like “wasted time” sitting around anywhere. For years I did “intense” hot yoga for 3 hours a day, would ride my bike there and back 15 miles, then workout in the elliptical for 2 hours a days every day. I remember one day there was a snow storm and I almost killed myself trying to drive to get to yoga because I couldn’t take ONE day off. I slid off the road and my biggest fear was “omg I can’t do my usual hot yoga today and How will I have time to exercise to make up for not being able to bike “ instead of “my car slid off the road I just got into an accident” and I realized what as issue I had. It took a job change in which I worked 14h days, 6 days a week and where I literally did not have time to exercise to change. Now I have to say exercising or going to a hot yoga class a few times a week is SOOO much more enjoyable than forcing myself to do my routine every single day. It is hard but once you break that “routine” it gets easier and easier. I can not imagine ever going back to exercising hours a day like that. I fooled myself at the time into thinking it was enjoyable but it wasn’t.
Thank you for sharing your story (glad you are okay!) It's true that exercise can have such a strong hold over us... I think you're right in that when we do it less often, we enjoy it more when we do engage in something active. I definitely don't enjoy a lot of the exercise I am doing... but do love some things like hiking, running, surfing etc. Thank you for the comment and I hope you have a good week!
You're amazing and I'm so proud of you!!💗 I'm sure this was very difficult to share. You're helping so many people.
I understand exercise addiction. I've been there and it's honestly still a struggle. Rest days, I struggle.
You're such an inspiration to me💗
Aww thank you Miranda ❤️ I am proud of you for continuing to fight 💪
@@maddiejaneec thank you so much!!!!
Thank you for being so open about this Maddie. I think it's amazing that you are being so honest about where you are in recovery. I've never struggled with exercise addiction but I struggle a lot with compulsive body checking. So while my relationship with food was getting better, and I wasn't using behaviors, I was still constantly body checking. I had to cover all of my mirrors and they have been that way for awhile. I still body check and I'm not completely free from this behavior. It's totally ok to do these things in stages and to meet yourself where you are. There is no right way to recover, there is only what works for you. Lots of love to you and Fig! ❤️
I think it's important to be honest so that others who may be going through a similar thing feel less alone... Compulsive body checking is another thing I deal with as well... Always looking in mirrors, using clothes as measurements and using hands to measure certain areas... Perhaps I should do a video on this as well because it's definitely something that people struggle with, also something hard to stop. There are so many aspects to an ED that people don't talk about... Thank you for the comment as always and love back to you from Fig and I ❤️🐰
Amazing hun that you have been able to admit to yourself and others and be honest about exercise the fact that you recognise this and want to change means you are already one step closer to doing so.you have come so far and i have no doubt you will over come this aswel.keep going strong hun you have 100% got this xx
Maria, thank you ❤️ Talking about exercise in recovery is important because I don't think it's spoken about enough... Hope you have a good weekend ☺️
@@maddiejaneec i agree hun i struggle myself and also have been in recovery for over a year now.thankyou you to we are in isolation at the moment as my little boy has covid x
@@mariadavies7669 I’m sorry to hear that. Sending love ❤️
@@maddiejaneec ❤xx
same 🥺 I'm currently impatient for orthorexia and sports addiction and it's so hard, I'm allowed to walk and do some physio but only go for a half an hour run a week and I can't follow the rule, I use every minute I'm allowed to leave the hospital to workout and go bouldering. I feel like my world collapses when I stop, I don't know how to handle the emotions coming up, when I rest and I'm autistic as well, so I definitely get the ocd problem with my own routines and rules. I still eat everything in a circle and safe the best bite for the end. It's exhausting 😩
I knew I was watching this whole video when you said about people saying “I wish I was addicted to exercise”. I am very much in the midst of this right now and although I have amazing support, I can’t see realistically that I can ever break out about this. Every time I convince that maybe the ED team are right and I’m at risk or this is too much…society praises me for something exercise related…and my brain loses all its resolve to do something about it. Exercise is currently a full time jobs’s worth of time for me each week…on top of my actual Job
And I think a key thing is working out which physical activity is for YOU and which is for the ED, and that’s not easy or straightforward. For me I only started acknowledging I had an issue when it was pointed out to me that I had ditched my beloved roller skating (I’m a skatepark quad skater and do circus stuff too) with friends, to run, gym or attend gym classes on my own. That’s for the ED not me.
Maddie you're so strong!! Saying 'dont be hard on yourself' is useless but maybe try to be more compassionate with yourself because recovery isn't a linear line. Little by little- little becomes a lot! You've come so far and sometimes just look back and see how far you've come 🤍🤍
It is crazy to look back at myself a year ago... Thank you for the comment and support, it means a lot ❤️
Thanks so much for sharing. This is all too relatable and helps a ton. Stay strong
Thank you!
I'm a boy and i wish i could hug you and cry together because i had the same problems some years ago, now like you said I'm eating a lot and not worry about calories, but like you said i feel that i need to exercise, so thsnks to you i will not exercise tomorrow because my body hurts today, and you nade me realize that I'm not alone and that i still really have s problem 😢😢❤❤❤
I really appreciate you sharing. Work on the exercise but also know that you have come so far. I always make it to the end. I really like your videos.
I'm happy to hear you like the videos :) Thank you for the support ❤️
Maddie, u were very brave to share this! If someone give u "backlash" for it, it is their issue. U don't owe us your private life details! Take it easy
Thank you so much ❤️
I love 💕 hiking 🥾 too! It’s my favorite form of exercise.
It’s so much fun and great to get into nature ❤️
I am the total opposite. I have some eating disorder habits but i hate moving, I don't want to carry my body, feel it. So I try to incorporate a teeny tiny bit of very gentle movements: stretching my back or my head for a minute or two. Would you consider possible to decrease very very slowly your exercices? Like for example: instead of 20 pushes, starting by doing one less. The difference would be subtle that you could stand it and not panic? And then the next week, 18 or 2 minutes less of cardio...
I find that yoga is really helpful when I am feeling really upset with my body. It brings a certain understanding of the functionality of the body and is less focused on trying to get your body to "look" a certain way. I have been trying to slowly cut back on reps, as you suggested, but still find it difficult. I will keep trying though! Take care! ❤️
Oh Maddie, I felt so sorry for you seeing the pics. Love to see you so much better now!
And - why not do a yoga video? ;-) Focus on the positive...
I am also a big exercise lover (maybe addicted, I suppose). But I am about 40 years old now and I realize, that my body just gets TIRED of every day exercise. And I am pretty sure, yours is, too. Maybe it is a self love thing to say: I deserve a break today. Only today, only once a week - because I love myself and my body is my castle... Hopefully I make sense...
I have been thinking of posting a yoga video! I'm sure my body is also tired... I am working towards giving myself a rest day, but find it difficult. I think you're right about trying to make it a self-love thing, maybe it would be easier if I think of it that way. Thank you :)
@@maddiejaneec You could spend that day somewhere nice and with somebody you really love and who respects you and supports you - like your best friend or so. Go out, to a museum or so, have a splendid breakfast or a massage, some sauna or another wellness treat you enjoy. Plan the day to perfection and it could be so, so nice for you
@@songfortwomusic9278 that sounds like a good idea, thank you ❤️ I should try that
Just keep going! You’re being hard on yourself. It takes time and doing it all at once doesn’t work for everyone! And honestly I have a dog and so yes I am out every single day for our walks lol no matter the weather. And a lot of my clients don’t let the weather stop them either. So it’s normal?!? Hehe 😉
Love waking up Saturday’s and watching you because it’s inspiring to see how far you’ve come. Xoxo
I'm glad you like the videos! I guess in a way walking and going out everyday is normal, just not in addition to everything else. But I think no matter what walking and being outdoors is great for the soul and mind. It's when it is driven by the disorder that it becomes harmful. Hope you have a great week ☺️
No, going for a walk although it rains, snows, its freaking cold, whatever, just eventough the weather conditions are very harsh just to fulfill the routine is NOT normal!
@@lroumet3316 I think if the intention is to fill a routine and engage in bad exercise behaviours then no, it's not normal. However, if you need to because of something like walking a dog then yes. For me, however, I agree, not normal.
This video was just more useful, than the ,,calories" before. I was also having a realy bad, hard exercise addiction and i say, it was definetly worser that the ,,simple anorexia". Sadly, i feel your tought on that. (,,I need to burn everything",,,If i don't workout, i'm not allowed to eat", ,,I need to do more", ,,I just want to see my abs, it isn't abnormal, what i'm doing" and so on...
The most hardest part, sometimes i still struggle, but i'm proud of myself, because i was having enought POWER to stop it, for like a half year. (Yes, and that means POWER and STRENGHT, not your 20 km run after a slice of apple.) Now, luckily i'm doing it for FUN (i never tought on last year, that i'm gonna say that now...), i take rest days and if i burn mor calories, i eat more, because my body needs it!:)
I'm also proud of YOU and really happy, that you can help me also with these topics.
Exercise addictions need to be talked about more... We all know about EDs and other addictions but exercise is a tricky one to talk about. Society has made us believe that skipping a workout and eating dessert is bad when it can actually be the best thing for you! I do love some forms of exercise and am working towards getting to a point where I do it for fun, not for torture...Thank you for the comment and I hope you have a great weekend :)
Just acknowledging you have a problem is huge!!!! ❤️😊❤️
Thank you Emily ❤️
I'm a lazy couch potato, used to have an exercise addiction twice.
My first time was back in early 2019, then recovered due to hospitalisation and attempted recovery.
2nd time was in late 2019, I tried to exercise again because exercise relieves bloating, then promised myself to not go back to addictive exercising, and before you know, it was a daily ritual, eventually my cross trainer broke and I had to do it via steps without leaving the house because '''uwu scawy'. So I ended up walking around my house for 4 hours straight no pause, getting 20k steps up on a daily basis, In December my Bulimia developed and I started exercising less and less and before you know it I quit, luckily. However I stepped from one habit to another and now I've been stuck with Bulimia nervosa for 2 years now, by bping on a daily basis for 6+ times a day.
Be careful when starting to make a 'healthy' habit.
You are NOT lazy... It's important to allow your body to rest. I have even heard that over-exercise can cause bloating...? (Not sure if that's true or not though). I used to struggle really badly with bulimia and it took a very long time to stop. I do plan on making a video about it so let me know if you are interested. You are right about being careful when starting a "healthy habit" as it can go downhill very fast. We all just need to be cautious about what we say and do in front of others. Take care ❤️
@@maddiejaneec tysm, also yes i'd definitely be interested in a video about bulimia, i fucking wish the bp cycle would just end.
Also you're right about me not being lazy, however i still am a couch potato 😔✊
Did you dye your hair recently it looks sooooo pretty! (Sorry off topic)
I did not 😂 But sometimes it changes when I've been in the sun for a while, or goes darker during the winter 🤷♀️
Hi! Thanks for the video!!❤❤❤
awesome video lots of hugs you are so strong
Thank you so much, hugs back ❤️🥰
I always used exercise as a way to control my weight in the ed. But because you are gaining weight anyway, why not try to stop. Its like you are recovered physically but not mentally. That is the worst of both worlds! Thats what motivated me to stop. Exercise is not stopping you gaining weight anymore, so what other purpose does it provide?
You are very right... I think at this point it's more about the OCD and the feeling as though I "have" to exercise as opposed to doing it to lose weight. Either way I know I need to work on it. I hope you have a good week!
Hi! This video was so important to me❤ O have struggled with this a lot and I am currently trying to reduce it to an amount I actually enjoy. I actually completely stopped running!
You can do this too❤
I am proud of you! It's hard to decrease exercise when it has been a strong habit for so long but it is possible. Keep going ☺️
I love yoga , but it’s hard to replace the exercise
This is true… but it is possible 💪❤️
😻😻😻
❤️❤️❤️
Thank you for being honest and sharing your journey Maddie! But please refrain from sharing the "ill" pictures, there is really no reason and it could do more harm to your audience.
Sara, I'm sorry if the images upset you. My intention is to never do anyone harm... I chose to include some pictures to prove how horrible the illness is. However, I do know it can be taken the wrong way which is why I included a trigger warning.
@@maddiejaneec I get that but if you're watching your videos you probably already know how horrible the illness is, no need to "prove" it.