- Look what I brought you, a fresh cup of coffe - oh thank you, just put it here - ummm.. no, Im gonna put it over there instead - ok, fine, just put it anywhere. - I think I'm gonna hold to it, Im afraid you cant have this coffe.
Bringing someone coffee doesn't mean you are agreeable. You can politely think of the needs of others and speak the fuck up for yourself when it's necessary. Those studies only make mankind seem black and white, while the truth is that we are all fucking Zebras! 🖤🤍
It took Jordan Peterson almost 12 minutes to say "women dont like nice guys because the perceive them as needy losers, and they like jerks because they perceive them as dominant and independent".
To be honest ...Men go after women who have big tits...Women are after a man who will bring home enough bacon to feed her children...That whole trophy wife thing is jerks bailing out on their families...going out for younger tits...Got it Dicks?
Not Really. It has always been like this. Often, Not always, but often , we romanticise the past cuz we see problems in our present. And most of the time, thinking that the past was better is a false perception.
That's not true, dude. He is speaking the trueth, this title is a FACT. Women ''love'' jerks. Perhaps, the word love, comes over a bit strange, but we can't become one with one-other, without feeling something for them and that ''feeling'' is called love. So, this is definitely no clickbait. And yes, on your first point, I also agree with him, as every person is his/her own individual, with their own opinion. So if people going to speak from your perspective, it is bogus as they are not you.
Totally agree. Fucking click bait titles. I don’t need a click bait title to listen to him. I’m genuinely interested in what an intelligent person has to say.
pushy and I-only-bring-coffee-for-myself people are jerks so ye the title is bit too much (most likely clickbait because it works on youtube), but still kinda correct. or you want to argue women preffer nice, most likely needy, guys?
What we are is largely set in stone by biology, with of course some degree of plasticity. It’s better to find a niche where you thrive. And if you’re one of the unlucky few with no niche? You’re supposed to wither and die apparently. Just suffer and don’t complain because people don’t like to hear it. No one cares if you’re drowning, then they pat themselves on the back for being “good people”.
The thing that people need to understand is they should move beyond just survival. We as human race hv achieved enough, that if distributed correctly all can ez survive. But in the search for survival they dont see the paths to progress.
Woman: I hope I can change him Man: I hope she never changes Woman: why can’t I change him Man : why did she change Woman: I don’t need a man Man: Next
even if u dont care about sex the thing is when u talk to women u might subconsciously sexualize them u cant remove ur biology but u can control it all natural try to treat women as if they were men that how they want u to treat them u will select partner more based on there personality than hotness learn also more about psychology it will help u in ur journey. im copy pasting this comment to help people ty for reading this message and self analyze ur persona and keep positive sight have a wonderful day people in this comment section
Our culture has an objective and collective ideal on what's desireable which is caused by the powerful influence of advertisement and entertainment industry, so men and women go around with a mold and obviously end up pursuing the same 10% of partners who exhibit those external ideal features. Obviously narcissists have more plasticity in their personality and they are better at projecting themselves in a way that is in accordance to that mold and therefore they are more successful then authentic people. (Also note that actors, pop idols and models are virtually all narcissists so we're implicitely idolizing narcissistic traits)
I don't think it has much to do with culture. I see the same thing in my home country China. Culture is created by human anyway. What's cultural is the dramatic display of what's common among citizens.
@Maggie Lynn of course there are some men that like drama but the vast majority of men don't really care for it and are cool with eachother its much more common in women.
People who are very smart can ascertain the truth and navigate complex situations at work more easily than people who aren't as smart. This means the smarter people tend to be less agreeable than the less smart ones, because probability-wise navigating complex situations will demand disagreements. Those who say "yes" all the time are usually naive and simply don't have the know-how or street smarts to say no. And if they do say "no" they struggle to back themselves up unlike their smarter counterparts. That's what's behind all this talk of agreeableness--one's ability to intelligently navigate complex situations is directly proportional to how disagreeable they are. So it boils down to this: being disagreeable often implies social intelligence, and that implies status. And that is ALWAYS attractive.
schw0373 well, this is true to a certain extent. There are plenty of intelligent people who are introverted and don't often like to express their opinions openly, thus enabling their peers to view them as agreeable. However, these people may not agree with the person they are speaking to, but will act as if they do. To please them, this wouldn't classify them as naive individuals though. In order to be naive you have to actually agree with what the individual is saying without doing any thinking of your own. There are many people who are quite intelligent (I would say they are the minority) and stray away from speaking up due to their lack of confidence. They are 100% aware of it as well, it's not like they don't have the intellectual capacity to be less agreeable, it's just they don't have the confidence to do it. I just commented this because I feel as if you are suggesting that agreeable people or people who lack confidence tend to not be intelligent. And this is not entirely the case. I do agree however that intelligent people tend to be disagreeable more often then not.
People who have balls are emotionally unable to resist comparing their size with every other fragile dick they encounter. So posturing and bluster eventually lead to violence of some kind...More women and children die in wars than soldiers...Always!! But Dicks still speak of GLORY!! Women will find common ground...and peace will reign...to save their children.
Men who get raises are usually the ones that realize they have some sort of leverage over their employer, wether that's knowledge or a skill that person has, which the employer doesn't want to lose, which gives the employee an advantage to negotiate a better deal.
Well u r correct in the current setting. The problem today is that no one wants to give they all just wants to take. Take as much as they can and give as little as they can.
@@rishabhbhatnagar9632 well if nobody has any skills the employer needs then nobody has any leverage to gain a better paid position a so companies can pay as little as possible and with the rise of automation many people will be surplus to requirements all the establishment needs is enough to maintain their wealth and power.
@@rishabhbhatnagar9632 many people are barely holding on to what they've got so it's harder to be generous when the future looks so uncertain, whilst the people at the Top are mostly unaffected because they have systems in place to protect their money and the power that it weilds.
@@stevemann6528 I completely agree. That's y we should try to build a world where no one hv at least survival problems. Only than can we truly progress. It only needs one thing an actual good person to be the one in power. Sounds quite impractical, I know. But this is the only way.
You should go listen to Bjork's song Human Behavior. In the 90's when it came out I thought this was the weirdest song/message I'd ever heard. Now I think it's brilliant.
jason dasilva suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. I’ve been there several times. It’s been helpful for me to consider the things I could do even if I lost everything I have; I could still be homeless and wander around for a while before jumping off a bridge. Try to do just one good thing, even if it takes you ten years to do it. Then you won’t hand lived in vain. After that, do another good thing. If you live another sixty years and only do six good things, the world will still be better off; and you will not have lived in vain.
@Mlucious67 we all might have purposely been born in the wrong world. Regardless we should all work together on making it a better world where we can when we can because we can. Love first, love all, Love, G0d.
@Brian Jones we all need alone time at times. Even in our alone times we need to be aware or stay connected to the scenery around us or the world might pass you by. Love always, Love, G0d.
"Agreeable person comes and brings a cup for coffee, they always bring me one." Preposterous. That's called generosity. Do not mistake the good deeds of a man for submission or an attempt to seek your validation. Some of us are hospitable by virtue.
A third class of leader exists maybe. First of all he accepted a gift of the coffee which puts the recipient in a weaker position if there was a negotiating situation but then it kind of cancels out because he is the teacher. There could be a benefit to the student in other ways by showing this agreeable act let's say. A gift, if done right ,could put you in an advantage stage .In a way you re in a leader position, that's if you recognize this, if not you might be a putz.
People always want something from others, expect something for their actions and grow resentful and passive aggressive when the other person does not get it. There is nothing like generosity at work or outside. It rarely exists among friends.
@@jabalimohamed1983 How is being hospitable signifying cowardice? Believe it or not, some people do nice things for people because it feels good and the other person will appreciate it. Doing nice things does not always come with an expected transaction. Some people are selfless in that way... that is part of the meaning that they give their life.
I feel like Jordan Peterson has found a vein of gold with the topics he covers. People nowadays are too unfocused and lazy to talk about the unspoken truths. This is where he found his niche, big fat logical blockbuster. Kudos.
That depends. I’ve seen some comments on here about how men perceive women that seem to weaponize pieces ofJP’s teaching to reduce credibility of the opposite sex. Most of these types of comments include generalizations & stereotypes, cite personal experience and reflect lack of responsibility on the part of the poster. I don’t know if I’d want to date someone with these low expectations for women. On the other hand, someone who has taken JP’s advice on bettering themselves, focusing on improving their own shortcomings and being emotionally mature enough to identify & pursue healthy relationships... that makes someone super dateable - IMO Edit: grammar
no, women like strong men. and one of the ways people show streangth is pushing other people around. it's not the only way but it's one of the ways and to women, to them it's certainly sexier than weak people who will fall over with a little nudge.
This all sounds great, makes sense, and is something to lear from. Just remember to be yourself because that's what will help you find the partner for you, who will help you grow into what you want to be.
what does being yourself mean? you're a bunch of different types of temperament in different type of situations? you're a type of person when talking with kids and another type of person when dealing with adults for example
Lmao bro who are you? Yeah be yourself if you’re already good don’t be yourself if you’re some timid sad little nobody who lets people walk all over you. You’re not going to find a partner who will help you grow and build something with you. You’re gonna find a partner who will step all over you and use you.
@@benzinamoktar2265 I'm still me when I talk to anyone. Some people are assholes to kids. It's part of who they are. Can they change the bad parts of themselves? Possibly, with time and effort. We all have personalites and traits that make us who we are and someone who truly loves you will care about you in spite of the bad and not because of it. The other way around is no long-term solution for a relationship.
@@jasontater No one is fully good. Someone who truly loves you wouldn't walk all over you and use you for their sole benefit. Like I told the other person, we love in spite of someone's shortcomings and not because of them. We're supposed to help each other grow out of bad habits and become better people. If you're just trying to get chicks, then sure be an asshole. It works wonders. But in a long term relationship it is a failing exercise. Even the person who walks all over the other will eventually get bored or go too far, God forbid. We can be ourselves and improve ourselves at the same time. It's quite profound that that's possible, actually.
@@Repsforjesus67 no way, it's brown nosers he's talking about. You know, the dudes who are all up the boss's ass trying to get promoted. I see them all the time.
@@daviesdavies538 In a sense, trying to get promoted is being disagreeable. You don't agree with your current position. Women often don't fight it and don't ask for promotion
I love watching this man and I love listening to him, because he is willing to call out all the bullshit in social interactions. He inspires me, not because I happen to agree with him on many of his opinions, but I haven’t watched/read all of his work, so my opinion is incomplete...but his energy and drive are contagious, and I always close my sessions with his videos more inspired and dedicated than I was when I started. He is the WD-40 for the heart and mind, the grease that coats our social and emotional lives and eases our presence on the planet.
It’s about projecting confidence. People who are confident project strength. People who are not confident realize that it is beneficial to seem confident/ strong. People gain and lose confidence through trial. Success breeds confidence. Failure erodes it. People who are successful and feel their success is deserved are agreeable because they have real confidence and are not really interested with swaying others. They just think they deserve to be heard. People who are unsuccessful and feel their lack of success is undeserved are hostile. They fear their weakness will be exposed. People who are unsuccessful and work to alter themselves to achieve success have a confidence that is dependent on stimulus and this in in a constant state of flux. They become people pleasers. But ultimately they sacrifice what they crave; respect. Self-respect by definition can only be awarded by oneself. Meeting your own standards. To get Respect from other people you must meet their standards. You will never get everyone else to respect you. But if you respect yourself you will be seen as a person of value to others that respect themselves. People that are not confident but want to be perceived as such will alway try to tear down those with true confidence, both because they feel inadequate and because they are in constant pursuit of validation from external sources.
My father treated everyone has individuals. He tried to get the best out of me and my 2 brothers. We all turned out very differently . But each of us found our place.
@@FOURTEEFIVE it’s true, if ppl get analyzed, and then they don’t like their flaws and bullshit put on paper and it becomes real for them deal with. Most can’t lol I’m just saying
Iv'e had about 12 serious relationships in my life and lost all of them to aggressive men who were Jerks. The women tired of my kindness and harmony. Some women crave dysfunction and Kayos .Why, I have no idea.I wasn't boring and very sexual. I blame it on the "Seven Year Itch" as in the movie, people get bored with each other and want a new partner.
They want the butterflies, the high of lust, the over whelming excitement of a new relationship. They jerks are within 3 to 9 months boring to them women, and them women are then chasing the next high resentful that they gave you up for the slob who once excited her. Rinse and repeat.
I'm in the top 1% of disagreeable people in Peterson's test. I learned in my teenage years girls liked me more when i wasn't trying. When i gave them little attention, and focused on my own goals.
The problem with this is that if you don’t “care”, they don’t care either. Women never approach men sexually. So as much as I understand the whole “be focused, and forget these bitches”, you still cannot expect a woman to make the first move even if she’s into you. They’ll say it’s a man’s job to approach, and they hate to appear needy/vulnerable since women see themselves as the price
because women confuse arrogance with confidence and at the same time think a confident man is a self centered jerk. they prefer OUTWARD APPEARANCE rather than inward reality. with women SHOW is more important than go
Roman Legkov they used to give me shit freshman year, and then i glowed up and senior year they were all over me. One even asked me to homecoming in the middle of class with a giant sign that read “Homecoming?” And i REJECTED that hoe. Made her cry. Like she made me when she told me i was a fucking loser
Dang it! I always hate when these videos stop so abruptly... I'm always left wanting for more... JBP rocks and I could listen to him all day. He has so much insight and wisdom! We are so blessed to have him and his books! Oh, "to be a fly on the wall" at his lectures... Yet being a fly, I wouldn't live long enough like that either. :P I can't get enough of your wisdom Dr. Peterson. We are very incredibly blessed to have you! Peace and light.
fear lends itself to indoctrination and it's effects are powerful I have found that people make you responsible for validating their misery. People make excuses for themselves so they expect you to play a role in keeping that facade So like half of the social cues are ensuring that you are not a threat. Why should you appear harmless just because others refuse to grow?
Who cares of it makes you look soft, thats society being stuck up. There is nothing with doing something nice for someone. Just be careful not to let them take advantage of that.
A more accurate title woulda been "How Personality affects career outcomes and mate preferences" but nonetheless, it's always amazing hearing this man talk
Yeah !, these students see this class as a Boring subject but for us, we see It as the education we all wanted but never had It , in our schools and college; till now.
If you haven't figured it out, let me give you a clue. Women love people they have something in common with. Someone that mirrors their character. Air heads love air head, druggies love druggies, etc. As an example, I have an exceptionally attractive lady neighbor. She's in her early 30s. She's been a druggie, pill head, half her life. She has no job. And she doesn't want one. And she absolutely doesn't want a guy with a regular job that doesn't use drugs. Her latest boyfriend was just recently arrested walking down the road here, stoned out on meth and reefer, trying to put his pants on his head. Now he's serving 18 months in jail. She tells everyone she loves him. Everyone thinks she's crazy. But reality, she does love him, simply because they are one and the same, they mirror each other. That's what women look for. Jerks want jerks. It has nothing to do with looks. It has everything to do with similarities in character and similar interests. So be glad you didn't get that women you thought was so attractive. Inside she's probably a complete jerk. If she wasn't a jerk, she'd want to be with a nice guy. But air heads love air heads...
I agree that people are attractive/get along with others who mirror their character. I enjoy meeting someone with similar interests, because it makes me validated.
Reminds me of St Thomas Aquinas's maxim: "Ubi vera amicitia est, ibi idem velle, et idem nolle" ("Where true friendship exists, there is the same wanting and not wanting, both more pleasant and more sincere.")
Jack Nicholson’s character in As Good As It Gets summed it up brilliantly. ‘ to accurately understand women, you think of a man, then take away reason and accountability’.
A theory which ive heard which makes the most sense to me is that women are attracted to men with higher social value than themselves. Nice guys hang on to the womens every word, constantly compliment her and forgive all her faults, this subconsciously communicates to the women "You are higher value than me" and as a result she loses attraction. 'Jerks' on the other hand, have a certain self respect that communicates to the women that they're of equal or perhaps higher social value.
Of course disagreeable people are going to be more successful. Narcissists do whatever it takes to get what they want. If you compare it to a game, they will be the ones cheating, of course a cheater is going to win against people who play by the rules. But does that make them better at the game? Of course not...
WindowCat Cheating has negative repercussions also, like losing respect, losing trust, etc. People don't want to form relations (business and others) with someone they can't trust. It might work in the short term, but not in the long term.
A neglected kid neglects him/herself into adulthood. Personal expierience: entertainment (and hedonism in general) was the norm by default in my loneliness. And what appeared to me as capricious and forced duty the other half of the time reinforced this behaviour.
People who are jerks are very often that way because they're after financial success, while true that people can be successful while not being a jerk, success is much easier to obtain if you don't have as many morals weighing you down. When this occurs, people will often mistake financial success as competence. That and people who are successful will often portray themselves as being competent or powerful. Which are quite easy to confuse as you could debate that the two are not mutually exclusive.
I’ve personally noticed that strong eye contact and in general, less of an “interested” stature towards an attractive girl increases your chances. It’s all biological.
Well most studies are reasonably sound quantifications of real world facts so they're not entirely untrustworthy, but you make a good point. There are definitely women out there who might be attracted to agreeable or even submissive men.
I don't think that the whole nice guy/bad boy dichotomy can be used to explain female attraction. It's just that popular/likable people can get away with things a timid/vapid person wouldn't. There's a human tendency to overlook negative qualities in individuals they like but would skim through the numerous positive traits in a person they love to hate. The average guy ends up thinking that it's the jerk being a jerk that makes him popular with ladies when it's completely different.
i know im a nice guy and know it from a long time,it just makes me highly careful about my relationship with anybody if im being taken advantage of, but not particularly to the women who i take interest in.
Sounds to me like we are trying to shoehorn too much into a term that is too general: agreeableness. High agreeableness becomes a problem because it is expressed as passiveness and loss of agency. You "go with the flow". Low agreeableness is expressed as lack of empathy which leads to criminal behavior. Aggression. In my opinion, these behaviors are governed by two separate traits. Passiveness is low self-agency. Aggression is low empathy. Agreeableness doesn't cover this because you can be passive without empathy (depressed) and aggressive without agency (act "like a caged animal"). The term is too generalized to be helpful. In my opinion, "Agreeableness" is probably better represented as two traits: "Agency" and "Empathy". Agency: "How much control do I believe I have over the outcomes in my life?" Empathy: "How well can I relate to the experiences and feelings of others?" Viewed this way, it's pretty obvious that the people who accomplish the most in life have high levels of agency and empathy. They want what's best for their fellow man and believe they have it in themselves to make the changes necessary.
Jordan peterson is one of the best things about the internet. Everyone should watch, listen, and get a lot of great information and sound guidance. Now, having said that, and just to be fair, I also read an interview with a 109 year old woman from Scotland, who said she's lived a long, healthy and happy life; And she attributes it, at least partially, to avoiding men, who she believed were "more trouble than they're worth". So there ya go. I believe in giving my elders a chance at throwing in their 2 cents (adjusted for inflation)...
A lot of men are too available. Never be too available brothers. Have something to fill your time which is very important to you and for which you will even dismiss a woman. Once she senses this, she will chase you and try to see if she can replace that.
Very misleading title for this video. Jordan never directly addresses the topic of why women love jerks, and only spends a minute or so out of almost 12 minutes discussing anything even distantly related to the topic.
in my opinion from what i've learned is this: don't be a jerk really, just don't be a wimp. be confident and care about yourself, those are the most attractive things. and take responsibility for yourself as well. and have plans in your life other than relationships. take what you will from that, i'm only 14 so not the best person to ask for advice XD
Its cool to see a person of the academia class give their take on dating. For a man who says he never really had a big dating life growing up, he seems to understand it pretty well.
in my younger "dating" days I made up a saying that went hand in hand with my personal experiences and as much as I hate to believe its accurate it is what I have experienced. it goes like this....."if you love a woman, treat her like shit. because if you don't, she will break your heart and leave you for someone that treats her like shit". and as true as this is I still can not bring myself to treat anyone that I "love" like shit so I remain single and will show my daughter the love of a real father so she will know that not all men will treat her like shit.
@@J90JAM fair point mate, but I get relationships too. To me, being nice is about decency but also being assertive. Not the common misconception that nice people are push overs.
And so do men. This is a universal thing that exists in both sexes. It’s relative to the culture you live in. Hence why you men find blondes with blue eyes and big tits attractive while men in African tribes would look for vastly different traits.
I think Peterson makes one minor mistake with his “bad boy” “confident alpha male” gets all the women analogy. Looks play a huge roll as well as culture. I am by no means a bad boy or confident but never had problems finding a woman based on my symmetric face straight nose blonde hair etc. It works fine in Canada the US and Mediterranean countries where I am exotic. But and a big but, like all cultures beauty differs. In Japan or Korea beauty in males is defined by feminine features, paleness, class, well dressed and respectfulness. Or in Tibet or Bhutan kindness and egolessness is very attractive. In England the machoman reigns. In Nigeria the bad boy/provider etc etc. In the Ukraine and Russia foreign men get the pick of the litter. It is all relative in many cases.
coco bongo youve clearly never had an honest conversation with women outside the west. On top of that you just described the Emma Watson's of the world. And I would say they're also highly prized by society. Interesting how you didn't think to pick a very dark skinned curly haired girl from Africa or South Asia.
Its not an issue for women to like whatever they like. Its an issue for our society to tell young boys that women expect them to be one way, while there is a secretive hinting going on amoung adults only, that women do not want what boys are taught (by women) to be.
All of the traits of "agreeableness" seem to be positive, yet, Peterson gives me the impression that he sees them as bad traits that won't help you in life.
Just because someone is kind and empathetic doesn't mean that they are a pushover. A lot of people don't understand the difference between being being nice and being too nice.
It is strange to see how sometimes women are attracted to men who are even dangerous to them, e.g., OJ, Pistoris, men who beat or even kill them, DeSades, usw. Perhaps it is the power of violence that makes women fascinated, perhaps they think they can harness the aggression of these men to protect them, and perhaps that works or again not. But I am not sure that is the explanation either.
Very true. Women complain about the male sex in terms of violence, sex-drive, etc. while in reality they domesticate men. We wouldn't be who we are if women didn't choose us this way because clearly, we aren't a product of unvoluntary child-birth (as a consequence of rape).
Yeah but it’s fantasy attraction, platonic for the most part just for the thrill of it. Just like you like watching horror movies for the thrill and see things in movies you don’t experience in real life. But in the end of the day a jerk is a jerk however dangerously fun he may be. Do you guys like playboy playmates, victoria secret angels? You like women with fake tits asses lips eyelashes etc? Maybe youd have sex with them but ultimately not marry them because you see their shallowness. Same thing. You wonder why normal women like jerks, we wonder why smart guys like dull idiots.
Although I know this isn't what is being said, it feels like men (in this analysis) are reduced to either Walter Mitty or Hannibal Lecter archetypes. But, well, at least it's a novel approach as opposed to dichotomizing men into the just as flawed alpha/beta male.
That is the ideal idea but the context depends on what interaction you're hoping for. If it's just frienship then your true self is golden. Friends who genuinely like you for yourself are great additions to your life. When seeking romance with the opposite sex your true self may not be seen if you're not given a chance to show it. Which is why all these arguements about if nice or jerky behavior is seen as more attractive. To show your true self they have to let you in first, then like an onion you can show your generous, comapassionate and nicer self over time. As a society everyone is so choosy now-a-days that the general "true self" becomes ideal but hard to execute.
I am high on openness and consciousness. I am not hard to get along with. But I can politely tell you no. No problem holding my ground. As a matter of fact, I was one of my company’s key negotiators. In my current company I deal with the difficult internal partners. I am not extroverted or a jerk. Just firm.
I think women want men that are strong and wont break their morals or plans for the woman. A man with conviction and mental strength. These traits are often reflected in 'jerks' along with other negative characteristics. But essentially they want these characteristics. It is very possible to develop or have these characteristics without treating the woman badly. Nice guys are weak, and you know it's true because when you fall for someone and become the nice guy, you lose your sexuality, become like a flacid monk and lose your confidence.
as a woman, i agree 100%. it's rare to see a guy finally understand. you don't make a woman a center of your universe, the reason of your existence.the so called nice guys, only nice to get girls not because they have moral compass or value. they don't look solid and masculine. i'm not feminist and i agree man are natural leader and women naturally want to be submissive (i'm gonna be punched by feminists, lol). because being gentle, soft, nurturing and feminine is our job. the so called "nice guys" who would do anything for a woman, doesn't feel like they have leadership and dignity. they don't have that masculine vibe that we're looking for because we don't want another female friend. you are right, It is very possible to develop or have these characteristics without treating the woman badly.
@@annemarielaluna9350 wow, I’m only 18 but the older I get, the more confused I am about the mind of womanity. Being nice DOES mean moral compass and value, regardless of who it’s towards. You said you are going to be punched by a feminist, but with your mentality, you are much more likely to be punched by a “masculine” and “solid” abusive husband you apparently want. Oh well. Being nice to everybody is all that matters in the end, and that’s all I know. And when I find my love, I will treat her right because that’s what Gentlemen do. Being respectful and nurturing is humanity’s job, that shows a lot by you saying only women can be respectful. You really are a feminist LOL. But because I’m “unattractive”, I forgive you and I wish you luck because you’ll need it
@@EvvrEndeavors I guess she's referring to simps. I mean women want men with good moral and ethical values, polite, caring, genuine etc but in a manly way. But you have to be strong in your words and decisions. Don't be too agreeable and don't fake niceness.
Im already a disagreeable extrovert. I dont need another jerk so I married a nice guy. He uses me as an excuse to say no and he makes me want to be a nicer human being. It's a win win. Hahaha Joking aside, i think what people are attracted to is confidence which most jerks possess in bountiful amounts.
A woman marries a man thinking she can change him...but she can't. A man marries a woman thinking she won't change...but she does!
@Mike McKay milk stinks!
@Mike McKay it's the other way around
@Mike McKay No to old cranky men like Peterson.
@Mike McKay "Women age like milk and go sour... Men age like Wine and become refined." 😂😂😂
Barry Hatch Pseudo-Woke
What I learned from this: bring yourself and the other person a cup of coffee but still have the capacity to be disagreeable
It is good for people that you’re not nice to them. They learn to assert themselves when you don’t pamper people.
You should only put sugar in your cup instead.
- Look what I brought you, a fresh cup of coffe
- oh thank you, just put it here
- ummm.. no, Im gonna put it over there instead
- ok, fine, just put it anywhere.
- I think I'm gonna hold to it, Im afraid you cant have this coffe.
@Synth Ovine Unless you put citric acid inside instead of sugar - then its ultra sour move
Bringing someone coffee doesn't mean you are agreeable. You can politely think of the needs of others and speak the fuck up for yourself when it's necessary. Those studies only make mankind seem black and white, while the truth is that we are all fucking Zebras! 🖤🤍
The world needs Jordan Peterson.
World already has him...now it's up to the individual to listen or ignore.
haha.
JBP is a beta male (and his wife is classic "man-jaw").
therationalmale.com/2018/02/12/no-prescriptions/
"The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure and the intelligent are full of doubt." - Bertrand Russell
He needs to be cloned.
It took Jordan Peterson almost 12 minutes to say "women dont like nice guys because the perceive them as needy losers, and they like jerks because they perceive them as dominant and independent".
Explain name. Hit like.
Thank you so freaking much. I wish someone makes TL;DR for all his short vids.
@@grapy83 You're welcome.
True, but it was nice of him to explain the science behind why that is but appreciate the quick version also
Thank you, legend!
Never treat a woman better than you treat yourself...
To be honest ...Men go after women who have big tits...Women are after a man who will bring home enough bacon to feed her children...That whole trophy wife thing is jerks bailing out on their families...going out for younger tits...Got it Dicks?
@@maryannesullivan975 , if that is the dynamic of your reality, you are playing the game wrong. That outlook simply does not work in the long term.
@@maryannesullivan975So, what did you do to make your man leave I wonder....
@@maryannesullivan975 That's not true Mary. Some men like tits and others like legs/ bum.
Never treat a man better than you treat yourself!! Goes both ways ;)
It's quite sad that the relationship between men and women has deteriorated to the level it has.
Not Really. It has always been like this. Often, Not always, but often , we romanticise the past cuz we see problems in our present. And most of the time, thinking that the past was better is a false perception.
I know what you mean Villem, a lot of funny ideas about sex going around these days. Pushing people away from each other.
SAD BUT THANKS TO FEMINIST... PREDICTABLE...
@@markorendas1790 Before feminists marriage was arranged by parents.
I totally agree with that statement, and I blame feminism for that.
In another Video Peterson talks about how much he hates it when people put wrong words in his mouth. That's exactly what this clickbaity title does.
That's not true, dude. He is speaking the trueth, this title is a FACT. Women ''love'' jerks. Perhaps, the word love, comes over a bit strange, but we can't become one with one-other, without feeling something for them and that ''feeling'' is called love.
So, this is definitely no clickbait.
And yes, on your first point, I also agree with him, as every person is his/her own individual, with their own opinion. So if people going to speak from your perspective, it is bogus as they are not you.
Totally agree. Fucking click bait titles. I don’t need a click bait title to listen to him. I’m genuinely interested in what an intelligent person has to say.
@@lololololololollll doesn't matter if it's true or not, you don't make people say things they didn't say
@@timrobertson8972 and yet you're here xD
pushy and I-only-bring-coffee-for-myself people are jerks so ye the title is bit too much (most likely clickbait because it works on youtube), but still kinda correct. or you want to argue women preffer nice, most likely needy, guys?
Match your personality to the environment. Brilliant !!!
It shows you’re adaptable .That’s crucial to survival.
I think what he meant to say was match your environment to your personality. It's much easier to change your environment than your temperament.
What we are is largely set in stone by biology, with of course some degree of plasticity. It’s better to find a niche where you thrive. And if you’re one of the unlucky few with no niche? You’re supposed to wither and die apparently. Just suffer and don’t complain because people don’t like to hear it. No one cares if you’re drowning, then they pat themselves on the back for being “good people”.
The thing that people need to understand is they should move beyond just survival. We as human race hv achieved enough, that if distributed correctly all can ez survive. But in the search for survival they dont see the paths to progress.
@@Dialogos1989 I do.
When in Rome...
I would absolutely take this guys classes , all of them, as much of them as I could.
Fortunately you can do that since Jordan uploads everything and writes amazing books ! What a time to be alive.
Greetings from Germany!
Woman: I hope I can change him
Man: I hope she never changes
Woman: why can’t I change him
Man : why did she change
Woman: I don’t need a man
Man: Next
That about sums it up nicely. Been there done that.
This not the everday senerio
even if u dont care about sex the thing is when u talk to women u might subconsciously sexualize them
u cant remove ur biology but u can control it all natural
try to treat women as if they were men that how they want u to treat them
u will select partner more based on there personality than hotness
learn also more about psychology it will help u in ur journey.
im copy pasting this comment to help people
ty for reading this message and self analyze ur persona and keep positive sight
have a wonderful day people in this comment section
Bingo.
@@neverstopaskingwhy1934 Never stop asking why !
"I can change him" Woman, Every.
it's the "beauty and the beast" archetype
Spoke my mind.
Frozlix No its not. Some females want the asshole as a tool to dominate her surroundings through.
Our culture has an objective and collective ideal on what's desireable which is caused by the powerful influence of advertisement and entertainment industry, so men and women go around with a mold and obviously end up pursuing the same 10% of partners who exhibit those external ideal features. Obviously narcissists have more plasticity in their personality and they are better at projecting themselves in a way that is in accordance to that mold and therefore they are more successful then authentic people. (Also note that actors, pop idols and models are virtually all narcissists so we're implicitely idolizing narcissistic traits)
I don't think it has much to do with culture. I see the same thing in my home country China. Culture is created by human anyway. What's cultural is the dramatic display of what's common among citizens.
''One of the ways to maximize you possibility to succeed in life is to match your personality to the environment " nice one!!
mainly people respect honesty and realness. keep it real with how you feel
Many women also crave the drama that comes from dating less agreeable men.
biggg facts bro. I said it once. Ill say it again. all women love drama
True from my personal experience.
Maggie Lynn it’s true
@Maggie Lynn of course there are some men that like drama but the vast majority of men don't really care for it and are cool with eachother its much more common in women.
drama is the heart of it. Men love drama too, just not as much. Drama makes a relationship have a lot more feelings
People who are very smart can ascertain the truth and navigate complex situations at work more easily than people who aren't as smart. This means the smarter people tend to be less agreeable than the less smart ones, because probability-wise navigating complex situations will demand disagreements. Those who say "yes" all the time are usually naive and simply don't have the know-how or street smarts to say no. And if they do say "no" they struggle to back themselves up unlike their smarter counterparts. That's what's behind all this talk of agreeableness--one's ability to intelligently navigate complex situations is directly proportional to how disagreeable they are. So it boils down to this: being disagreeable often implies social intelligence, and that implies status. And that is ALWAYS attractive.
I personally think this is the best comment, but I don't know why it gets so few likes.
Nice comment
schw0373 well, this is true to a certain extent. There are plenty of intelligent people who are introverted and don't often like to express their opinions openly, thus enabling their peers to view them as agreeable. However, these people may not agree with the person they are speaking to, but will act as if they do. To please them, this wouldn't classify them as naive individuals though. In order to be naive you have to actually agree with what the individual is saying without doing any thinking of your own. There are many people who are quite intelligent (I would say they are the minority) and stray away from speaking up due to their lack of confidence. They are 100% aware of it as well, it's not like they don't have the intellectual capacity to be less agreeable, it's just they don't have the confidence to do it. I just commented this because I feel as if you are suggesting that agreeable people or people who lack confidence tend to not be intelligent. And this is not entirely the case. I do agree however that intelligent people tend to be disagreeable more often then not.
There are other factors that play into agreeableness as well. I wouldn’t just categorize agreeable people as “naive”. That’s simply not true.
People who have balls are emotionally unable to resist comparing their size with every other fragile dick they encounter. So posturing and bluster eventually lead to violence of some kind...More women and children die in wars than soldiers...Always!!
But Dicks still speak of GLORY!! Women will find common ground...and peace will reign...to save their children.
@@maryannesullivan975
Please take your meds.
Men who get raises are usually the ones that realize they have some sort of leverage over their employer, wether that's knowledge or a skill that person has, which the employer doesn't want to lose, which gives the employee an advantage to negotiate a better deal.
Well u r correct in the current setting. The problem today is that no one wants to give they all just wants to take. Take as much as they can and give as little as they can.
@@rishabhbhatnagar9632 well if nobody has any skills the employer needs then nobody has any leverage to gain a better paid position a so companies can pay as little as possible and with the rise of automation many people will be surplus to requirements all the establishment needs is enough to maintain their wealth and power.
@@stevemann6528 I dont see the connection of your statement to mine.
@@rishabhbhatnagar9632 many people are barely holding on to what they've got so it's harder to be generous when the future looks so uncertain, whilst the people at the Top are mostly unaffected because they have systems in place to protect their money and the power that it weilds.
@@stevemann6528 I completely agree. That's y we should try to build a world where no one hv at least survival problems. Only than can we truly progress. It only needs one thing an actual good person to be the one in power. Sounds quite impractical, I know. But this is the only way.
I think I was born in the wrong world. People are complicated and weird to me.
You should go listen to Bjork's song Human Behavior. In the 90's when it came out I thought this was the weirdest song/message I'd ever heard. Now I think it's brilliant.
jason dasilva suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.
I’ve been there several times.
It’s been helpful for me to consider the things I could do even if I lost everything I have; I could still be homeless and wander around for a while before jumping off a bridge. Try to do just one good thing, even if it takes you ten years to do it. Then you won’t hand lived in vain. After that, do another good thing. If you live another sixty years and only do six good things, the world will still be better off; and you will not have lived in vain.
@Mlucious67 i heard that.
@Mlucious67 we all might have purposely been born in the wrong world. Regardless we should all work together on making it a better world where we can when we can because we can. Love first, love all, Love, G0d.
@Brian Jones we all need alone time at times. Even in our alone times we need to be aware or stay connected to the scenery around us or the world might pass you by. Love always, Love, G0d.
"Agreeable person comes and brings a cup for coffee, they always bring me one."
Preposterous. That's called generosity. Do not mistake the good deeds of a man for submission or an attempt to seek your validation. Some of us are hospitable by virtue.
A third class of leader exists maybe. First of all he accepted a gift of the coffee which puts the recipient in a weaker position if there was a negotiating situation but then it kind of cancels out because he is the teacher. There could be a benefit to the student in other ways by showing this agreeable act let's say. A gift, if done right ,could put you in an advantage stage .In a way you re in a leader position, that's if you recognize this, if not you might be a putz.
People always want something from others, expect something for their actions and grow resentful and passive aggressive when the other person does not get it. There is nothing like generosity at work or outside. It rarely exists among friends.
Why are you being hospitable? Don't cover cowardice as virtue
@@jabalimohamed1983 How is being hospitable signifying cowardice? Believe it or not, some people do nice things for people because it feels good and the other person will appreciate it. Doing nice things does not always come with an expected transaction. Some people are selfless in that way... that is part of the meaning that they give their life.
@@benjaminisbester3582 so let me guess you are 1 of them right?
Jordan Peterson is a social dynamics' genius! Thank you for your contributions toward a better understanding of ourselves.
I feel like Jordan Peterson has found a vein of gold with the topics he covers. People nowadays are too unfocused and lazy to talk about the unspoken truths. This is where he found his niche, big fat logical blockbuster. Kudos.
it`s because most men are grown up be parents`s who are ignorant of how the real social dynamics of the world.
I feel like we should make a sort of dating app for JP listeners: at least we know what kind of values we’re going to have
That depends.
I’ve seen some comments on here about how men perceive women that seem to weaponize pieces ofJP’s teaching to reduce credibility of the opposite sex. Most of these types of comments include generalizations & stereotypes, cite personal experience and reflect lack of responsibility on the part of the poster. I don’t know if I’d want to date someone with these low expectations for women.
On the other hand, someone who has taken JP’s advice on bettering themselves, focusing on improving their own shortcomings and being emotionally mature enough to identify & pursue healthy relationships... that makes someone super dateable - IMO
Edit: grammar
There is so much competition - women like men who humiliate other men. That's dating for you
Not humiliate, decimate with skill.
not humiliate but win over other men by making the reality better. Do you ever watch sports? Does the winner humiliate the rest? NO
@@agatainventio9464 It seems like you have never played any sport games. When you lose, you actually feel very humiliated :D
no, women like strong men.
and one of the ways people show streangth is pushing other people around.
it's not the only way but it's one of the ways and to women,
to them it's certainly sexier than weak people who will fall over with a little nudge.
This all sounds great, makes sense, and is something to lear from. Just remember to be yourself because that's what will help you find the partner for you, who will help you grow into what you want to be.
what does being yourself mean? you're a bunch of different types of temperament in different type of situations? you're a type of person when talking with kids and another type of person when dealing with adults for example
You're still drinking way too much of the Fairytale BS Kool-Aid. LMAO@U.
Lmao bro who are you? Yeah be yourself if you’re already good don’t be yourself if you’re some timid sad little nobody who lets people walk all over you. You’re not going to find a partner who will help you grow and build something with you. You’re gonna find a partner who will step all over you and use you.
@@benzinamoktar2265 I'm still me when I talk to anyone. Some people are assholes to kids. It's part of who they are. Can they change the bad parts of themselves? Possibly, with time and effort. We all have personalites and traits that make us who we are and someone who truly loves you will care about you in spite of the bad and not because of it. The other way around is no long-term solution for a relationship.
@@jasontater No one is fully good. Someone who truly loves you wouldn't walk all over you and use you for their sole benefit. Like I told the other person, we love in spite of someone's shortcomings and not because of them. We're supposed to help each other grow out of bad habits and become better people.
If you're just trying to get chicks, then sure be an asshole. It works wonders. But in a long term relationship it is a failing exercise. Even the person who walks all over the other will eventually get bored or go too far, God forbid.
We can be ourselves and improve ourselves at the same time. It's quite profound that that's possible, actually.
"Disagreeable guys are seen as more employable" - Ok interesting, but what's with all these damn 'yes men' in the corporate world?
A result of the feminization of men
@MTHpowerWash LLC Men are taught that masculinity is toxic, thus men are extremely feminine nowadays.
#metoo
@@Repsforjesus67 no way, it's brown nosers he's talking about. You know, the dudes who are all up the boss's ass trying to get promoted. I see them all the time.
@@daviesdavies538 In a sense, trying to get promoted is being disagreeable. You don't agree with your current position. Women often don't fight it and don't ask for promotion
I love watching this man and I love listening to him, because he is willing to call out all the bullshit in social interactions. He inspires me, not because I happen to agree with him on many of his opinions, but I haven’t watched/read all of his work, so my opinion is incomplete...but his energy and drive are contagious, and I always close my sessions with his videos more inspired and dedicated than I was when I started. He is the WD-40 for the heart and mind, the grease that coats our social and emotional lives and eases our presence on the planet.
It’s about projecting confidence. People who are confident project strength. People who are not confident realize that it is beneficial to seem confident/ strong. People gain and lose confidence through trial. Success breeds confidence. Failure erodes it.
People who are successful and feel their success is deserved are agreeable because they have real confidence and are not really interested with swaying others. They just think they deserve to be heard. People who are unsuccessful and feel their lack of success is undeserved are hostile. They fear their weakness will be exposed.
People who are unsuccessful and work to alter themselves to achieve success have a confidence that is dependent on stimulus and this in in a constant state of flux. They become people pleasers. But ultimately they sacrifice what they crave; respect. Self-respect by definition can only be awarded by oneself. Meeting your own standards.
To get Respect from other people you must meet their standards. You will never get everyone else to respect you. But if you respect yourself you will be seen as a person of value to others that respect themselves. People that are not confident but want to be perceived as such will alway try to tear down those with true confidence, both because they feel inadequate and because they are in constant pursuit of validation from external sources.
Exactly, confidence isn't arrogance nor disrespectful.
"When she sees you'll do anything she says she's bound to respect you" -Milhouse
What going to happen to you if you do that is the same thing that happens to a male spider mating with a black widow.
Are you willing to give up on your dreams for a woman. Women like to be treated like queens, but ypu don't need to stop being yourself for a woman.
If you disrespect and do not love yourself .. Your gonna let others disrespect and give u no love
True
My father treated everyone has individuals. He tried to get the best out of me and my 2 brothers. We all turned out very differently . But each of us found our place.
I want this man to analyze me
Can you please tell me what kind of picture this is? Whats the Name of this picture i have seen so often
@@alivm2531 it's called wave of kagwa or something like that. It's classic Japanese art
No you don’t, more then likely ppl can’t handle it
@@shadowsandspirtswithsantos6085 shutup lol
@@FOURTEEFIVE it’s true, if ppl get analyzed, and then they don’t like their flaws and bullshit put on paper and it becomes real for them deal with. Most can’t lol I’m just saying
Iv'e had about 12 serious relationships in my life and lost all of them to aggressive men who were Jerks. The women tired of my kindness and harmony. Some women crave dysfunction and Kayos .Why, I have no idea.I wasn't boring and very sexual. I blame it on the "Seven Year Itch" as in the movie, people get bored with each other and want a new partner.
They want the butterflies, the high of lust, the over whelming excitement of a new relationship. They jerks are within 3 to 9 months boring to them women, and them women are then chasing the next high resentful that they gave you up for the slob who once excited her. Rinse and repeat.
I'm in the top 1% of disagreeable people in Peterson's test. I learned in my teenage years girls liked me more when i wasn't trying. When i gave them little attention, and focused on my own goals.
That's very very true.But there's a limit.
When you finally cared what happened?
The problem with this is that if you don’t “care”, they don’t care either. Women never approach men sexually. So as much as I understand the whole “be focused, and forget these bitches”, you still cannot expect a woman to make the first move even if she’s into you. They’ll say it’s a man’s job to approach, and they hate to appear needy/vulnerable since women see themselves as the price
8:30 Tells funny anecdote, expects (with a smile on his face) at least SOME laughter after the punchline. Deadly silence. "Okay, moving along."
because women confuse arrogance with confidence and at the same time think a confident man is a self centered jerk. they prefer OUTWARD APPEARANCE rather than inward reality. with women SHOW is more important than go
j c unless your good looking then it's ok to be introvert or quiet
dragon slayer I’m an attractive introverted male, i love acting like i give women the time of day then i shit on them like they have so many years
Roman Legkov they used to give me shit freshman year, and then i glowed up and senior year they were all over me. One even asked me to homecoming in the middle of class with a giant sign that read “Homecoming?” And i REJECTED that hoe. Made her cry. Like she made me when she told me i was a fucking loser
Holden Melancon what made them like you
@@li6706 Thats awesome man, their HYPERGAMY NATURE deserves this attitude. Well done!
Dang it! I always hate when these videos stop so abruptly... I'm always left wanting for more... JBP rocks and I could listen to him all day. He has so much insight and wisdom! We are so blessed to have him and his books! Oh, "to be a fly on the wall" at his lectures... Yet being a fly, I wouldn't live long enough like that either. :P I can't get enough of your wisdom Dr. Peterson. We are very incredibly blessed to have you! Peace and light.
Does anyone else besides me have a problem with the clickbait title ??
HELL YES. I'd click on the vid without the dumb title
Yes.
Yes, seems like a very personal questioning from the man who published this lmao
I don't think we need anyone to tell us that when women say they want a "nice guy" they are lying out their ass. Most guys figure that out early on.
I found the second I stopped being nice my life improved substantially. Fear is a powerfully useful tool if cultivated and nurtured properly.
Do what, do wa?
I have to opposite experience. I'm very successful and being nice and generous have made me so much happier.
fear lends itself to indoctrination and it's effects are powerful
I have found that people make you responsible for validating their misery. People make excuses for themselves so they expect you to play a role in keeping that facade
So like half of the social cues are ensuring that you are not a threat. Why should you appear harmless just because others refuse to grow?
No. You are a ciward.
@@Domtronic And you can't spell a word
I often think about doing things like bringing a coffee for the other person but don't want to appear TOO agreeable or soft LOL
I've never even considered the psychology of it before, but I only do it if i'm at work and a friend asks me to. Not just random coworkers though.
You caring about looking agreeable or soft is part of the problem, forget about that shit.
Just ask if he/she wants a coffee but imply that you are going to get one yourself
Who cares of it makes you look soft, thats society being stuck up. There is nothing with doing something nice for someone. Just be careful not to let them take advantage of that.
@Jimmy Strudel The psychopath do
A more accurate title woulda been "How Personality affects career outcomes and mate preferences" but nonetheless, it's always amazing hearing this man talk
Rule number 1 about Jordan Peterson videos: The video title is very misleading, but you still need to hear what is being said.
The students are so lucky!!! :)
Ha ha ha.
I know right.
We're luck too atleast we can watch this from our home
This is also a big deal
Yeah !, these students see this class as a Boring subject but for us, we see It as the education we all wanted but never had It , in our schools and college; till now.
'I'm frightened by the devil
And I'm drawn to those ones that ain't afraid'
- Joni Mitchell
As soon as I read the title, the first thing that popped into my head was "because misery likes company?" =P
If you haven't figured it out, let me give you a clue. Women love people they have something in common with. Someone that mirrors their character. Air heads love air head, druggies love druggies, etc. As an example, I have an exceptionally attractive lady neighbor. She's in her early 30s. She's been a druggie, pill head, half her life. She has no job. And she doesn't want one. And she absolutely doesn't want a guy with a regular job that doesn't use drugs. Her latest boyfriend was just recently arrested walking down the road here, stoned out on meth and reefer, trying to put his pants on his head. Now he's serving 18 months in jail. She tells everyone she loves him. Everyone thinks she's crazy. But reality, she does love him, simply because they are one and the same, they mirror each other. That's what women look for. Jerks want jerks. It has nothing to do with looks. It has everything to do with similarities in character and similar interests. So be glad you didn't get that women you thought was so attractive. Inside she's probably a complete jerk. If she wasn't a jerk, she'd want to be with a nice guy. But air heads love air heads...
Spartaeus Cassinera couldn't agree more.
yes this is pretty much been my experience.
Spartaeus Cassinera that makes me feel better
I agree that people are attractive/get along with others who mirror their character. I enjoy meeting someone with similar interests, because it makes me validated.
Reminds me of St Thomas Aquinas's maxim: "Ubi vera amicitia est, ibi idem velle, et idem nolle" ("Where true friendship exists, there is the same wanting and not wanting, both more pleasant and more sincere.")
Jack Nicholson’s character in As Good As It Gets summed it up brilliantly. ‘ to accurately understand women, you think of a man, then take away reason and accountability’.
Yep as woman are never ever held accountable for their actions but men are!
@styloetpapier styloetpapier where? Who?
Exactly.
A theory which ive heard which makes the most sense to me is that women are attracted to men with higher social value than themselves. Nice guys hang on to the womens every word, constantly compliment her and forgive all her faults, this subconsciously communicates to the women "You are higher value than me" and as a result she loses attraction. 'Jerks' on the other hand, have a certain self respect that communicates to the women that they're of equal or perhaps higher social value.
Of course disagreeable people are going to be more successful. Narcissists do whatever it takes to get what they want. If you compare it to a game, they will be the ones cheating, of course a cheater is going to win against people who play by the rules. But does that make them better at the game? Of course not...
WindowCat Who exactly created the rules? Why should i abide by the rules?
WindowCat Cheating has negative repercussions also, like losing respect, losing trust, etc. People don't want to form relations (business and others) with someone they can't trust. It might work in the short term, but not in the long term.
spoken like a cheater. lol
Look at Trump. I wonder how his Presidency will turn out? I didn't vote for him, but he sure has been entertaining. I didn't vote for Hillary either.
In the long term nothing matters any more. We're all dead. Or you'll be moving to California where nobody knows you, even with internet.
I feel like if aliens came to this planet, I would want Jordan Peterson to try to explain the human race to them.
Ever heard about William Shakespeare?
yes!!!
@@daniandres3211 you would want Shakespeare to explain humans to aliens?
@@thesaltiestnugget Of course I do.
We are a species. We are not "the human race"
I don't know what others think but this guy is a genius...It's like listening to someone from a different planet.
most logical thing I've heard in months
lmao
A neglected kid neglects him/herself into adulthood.
Personal expierience: entertainment (and hedonism in general) was the norm by default in my loneliness. And what appeared to me as capricious and forced duty the other half of the time reinforced this behaviour.
How did you get out of it eventually?
I can summarize this in clip in one sentence: "Always be a good person, but you needn't always be nice about it".
Amen
Amen
People who are jerks are very often that way because they're after financial success, while true that people can be successful while not being a jerk, success is much easier to obtain if you don't have as many morals weighing you down. When this occurs, people will often mistake financial success as competence. That and people who are successful will often portray themselves as being competent or powerful. Which are quite easy to confuse as you could debate that the two are not mutually exclusive.
I’ve personally noticed that strong eye contact and in general, less of an “interested” stature towards an attractive girl increases your chances. It’s all biological.
Bingo!
take this with a grain of salt. Sometime the best advice is someone who’s lived the life they talk about and not read some studies on the subject.
I don't think any sane person who's lived their life think the opposite of what these studies say
Nice guys do finish last, to say the least
Well most studies are reasonably sound quantifications of real world facts so they're not entirely untrustworthy, but you make a good point. There are definitely women out there who might be attracted to agreeable or even submissive men.
I don't think that the whole nice guy/bad boy dichotomy can be used to explain female attraction. It's just that popular/likable people can get away with things a timid/vapid person wouldn't. There's a human tendency to overlook negative qualities in individuals they like but would skim through the numerous positive traits in a person they love to hate. The average guy ends up thinking that it's the jerk being a jerk that makes him popular with ladies when it's completely different.
Explain more your concept
The women who date jerks after one or two learning experiences are usually the ones who deserve them.
i know im a nice guy and know it from a long time,it just makes me highly careful about my relationship with anybody if im being taken advantage of, but not particularly to the women who i take interest in.
Sounds to me like we are trying to shoehorn too much into a term that is too general: agreeableness.
High agreeableness becomes a problem because it is expressed as passiveness and loss of agency. You "go with the flow". Low agreeableness is expressed as lack of empathy which leads to criminal behavior. Aggression.
In my opinion, these behaviors are governed by two separate traits. Passiveness is low self-agency. Aggression is low empathy. Agreeableness doesn't cover this because you can be passive without empathy (depressed) and aggressive without agency (act "like a caged animal"). The term is too generalized to be helpful.
In my opinion, "Agreeableness" is probably better represented as two traits: "Agency" and "Empathy".
Agency: "How much control do I believe I have over the outcomes in my life?"
Empathy: "How well can I relate to the experiences and feelings of others?"
Viewed this way, it's pretty obvious that the people who accomplish the most in life have high levels of agency and empathy. They want what's best for their fellow man and believe they have it in themselves to make the changes necessary.
Brilliant.
This needs many more likes... must be beyond the patience or capacity for understanding of most. I'm high in both agency and empathy, btw.
Death Kat For Kewpie i dont think so
He sounds like Saul Goodman !! Love both of these guys
Yes! I thought the same thing.
In business good/effective managers adjust their approach to the situation!! There is a time to be agreeable and there is a time to be disagreeable!!
*THERE IS EVIDENCE*
Jordan peterson is one of the best things about the internet. Everyone should watch, listen, and get a lot of great information and sound guidance. Now, having said that, and just to be fair, I also read an interview with a 109 year old woman from Scotland, who said she's lived a long, healthy and happy life; And she attributes it, at least partially, to avoiding men, who she believed were "more trouble than they're worth". So there ya go. I believe in giving my elders a chance at throwing in their 2 cents (adjusted for inflation)...
A lot of men are too available. Never be too available brothers. Have something to fill your time which is very important to you and for which you will even dismiss a woman. Once she senses this, she will chase you and try to see if she can replace that.
Ty
Very misleading title for this video. Jordan never directly addresses the topic of why women love jerks, and only spends a minute or so out of almost 12 minutes discussing anything even distantly related to the topic.
The moment he said large eyes and small noses, I immediately thought of the conventional anime art style.
I see you're a man of culture :)
@@rajatmond Thank you sir!
Maybe that's why they seem so attractive ?
@@turningmememachine7256 Right.
@@andrewwang8021 who's ur waifu
in my opinion from what i've learned is this: don't be a jerk really, just don't be a wimp. be confident and care about yourself, those are the most attractive things. and take responsibility for yourself as well. and have plans in your life other than relationships.
take what you will from that, i'm only 14 so not the best person to ask for advice XD
Its cool to see a person of the academia class give their take on dating. For a man who says he never really had a big dating life growing up, he seems to understand it pretty well.
When I say no I get fired.
Self-Confidence.
Most succesful people became succesful by saying this powerful word no more than yes.
"There's still room for you at the top of the hill, if you can learn how to smile while you learn how to kill"....
These words should weighed in pure GOLD !
I feel like i just went through a maze and ended up exactly where I started.
in my younger "dating" days I made up a saying that went hand in hand with my personal experiences and as much as I hate to believe its accurate it is what I have experienced. it goes like this....."if you love a woman, treat her like shit. because if you don't, she will break your heart and leave you for someone that treats her like shit". and as true as this is I still can not bring myself to treat anyone that I "love" like shit so I remain single and will show my daughter the love of a real father so she will know that not all men will treat her like shit.
Why "nice guys" end up only as friends.
Because they weren't disagreeable enough!
They don't though. I'm nice and have no trouble getting dates.
In the end disagreeable people are though of as dicks and alienated in my experience
@@daviesdavies538 Dates aren't relationships though....
@@J90JAM fair point mate, but I get relationships too.
To me, being nice is about decency but also being assertive. Not the common misconception that nice people are push overs.
Woman like whatever the media tells them is desirable
Vocabulary Dynamics 😂😂😂
And so do men. This is a universal thing that exists in both sexes. It’s relative to the culture you live in. Hence why you men find blondes with blue eyes and big tits attractive while men in African tribes would look for vastly different traits.
I think Peterson makes one minor mistake with his “bad boy” “confident alpha male” gets all the women analogy. Looks play a huge roll as well as culture. I am by no means a bad boy or confident but never had problems finding a woman based on my symmetric face straight nose blonde hair etc. It works fine in Canada the US and Mediterranean countries where I am exotic. But and a big but, like all cultures beauty differs. In Japan or Korea beauty in males is defined by feminine features, paleness, class, well dressed and respectfulness. Or in Tibet or Bhutan kindness and egolessness is very attractive. In England the machoman reigns. In Nigeria the bad boy/provider etc etc. In the Ukraine and Russia foreign men get the pick of the litter. It is all relative in many cases.
coco bongo youve clearly never had an honest conversation with women outside the west. On top of that you just described the Emma Watson's of the world. And I would say they're also highly prized by society.
Interesting how you didn't think to pick a very dark skinned curly haired girl from Africa or South Asia.
Pandora Exactly. Thank you
Its not an issue for women to like whatever they like. Its an issue for our society to tell young boys that women expect them to be one way, while there is a secretive hinting going on amoung adults only, that women do not want what boys are taught (by women) to be.
Being nice may be your worst enemy
True answer: they fear something good, because it would hurt more if they loose it.
All of the traits of "agreeableness" seem to be positive, yet, Peterson gives me the impression that he sees them as bad traits that won't help you in life.
He is, I think referring to their predictive value in determining status in a dominance hierarchy.
A woman thought I was ugly till she found out how much money I had....
Now she thinks I'm ugly and broke...
I can’t 😂😂😂
Ahhh FINALLY - I always thought I was difficult to get on with... not that many managers are jerks!! Thank you JP!!
Just because someone is kind and empathetic doesn't mean that they are a pushover. A lot of people don't understand the difference between being being nice and being too nice.
I never loved a woman. Once they get attached I run away.
You stayed too long. Karma is real.
You understand a person loves you when wedding and marriage are not asked.
So wrong! It means that you are being used and your partner is not fully convinced that you are the one!
It is strange to see how sometimes women are attracted to men who are even dangerous to them, e.g., OJ, Pistoris, men who beat or even kill them, DeSades, usw. Perhaps it is the power of violence that makes women fascinated, perhaps they think they can harness the aggression of these men to protect them, and perhaps that works or again not. But I am not sure that is the explanation either.
Very true. Women complain about the male sex in terms of violence, sex-drive, etc. while in reality they domesticate men. We wouldn't be who we are if women didn't choose us this way because clearly, we aren't a product of unvoluntary child-birth (as a consequence of rape).
Yeah but it’s fantasy attraction, platonic for the most part just for the thrill of it. Just like you like watching horror movies for the thrill and see things in movies you don’t experience in real life. But in the end of the day a jerk is a jerk however dangerously fun he may be. Do you guys like playboy playmates, victoria secret angels? You like women with fake tits asses lips eyelashes etc? Maybe youd have sex with them but ultimately not marry them because you see their shallowness. Same thing. You wonder why normal women like jerks, we wonder why smart guys like dull idiots.
The world has Jordan Peterson.
Their is a big down side to women liking jerks, as they may stalk you and chase you and nothing is going to stop them.
I'm a jerk. I always have a date. Thank you Dr. Peterson!
Good for you.... hopefully you graduate and become a prick
Although I know this isn't what is being said, it feels like men (in this analysis) are reduced to either Walter Mitty or Hannibal Lecter archetypes. But, well, at least it's a novel approach as opposed to dichotomizing men into the just as flawed alpha/beta male.
It's not than novel, it's based on Jung's ideas.
But isn’t best to find someone who is attracted to your true self? If you’re one of the lucky ones
"This above all: to Thine own self be True". William Shakespeare
That is the ideal idea but the context depends on what interaction you're hoping for. If it's just frienship then your true self is golden. Friends who genuinely like you for yourself are great additions to your life. When seeking romance with the opposite sex your true self may not be seen if you're not given a chance to show it. Which is why all these arguements about if nice or jerky behavior is seen as more attractive. To show your true self they have to let you in first, then like an onion you can show your generous, comapassionate and nicer self over time. As a society everyone is so choosy now-a-days that the general "true self" becomes ideal but hard to execute.
These students in this room were very lucky to be taught by this man.
I am high on openness and consciousness. I am not hard to get along with. But I can politely tell you no. No problem holding my ground. As a matter of fact, I was one of my company’s key negotiators. In my current company I deal with the difficult internal partners. I am not extroverted or a jerk. Just firm.
I think women want men that are strong and wont break their morals or plans for the woman. A man with conviction and mental strength.
These traits are often reflected in 'jerks' along with other negative characteristics.
But essentially they want these characteristics. It is very possible to develop or have these characteristics without treating the woman badly.
Nice guys are weak, and you know it's true because when you fall for someone and become the nice guy, you lose your sexuality, become like a flacid monk and lose your confidence.
as a woman, i agree 100%. it's rare to see a guy finally understand. you don't make a woman a center of your universe, the reason of your existence.the so called nice guys, only nice to get girls not because they have moral compass or value. they don't look solid and masculine. i'm not feminist and i agree man are natural leader and women naturally want to be submissive (i'm gonna be punched by feminists, lol). because being gentle, soft, nurturing and feminine is our job. the so called "nice guys" who would do anything for a woman, doesn't feel like they have leadership and dignity. they don't have that masculine vibe that we're looking for because we don't want another female friend. you are right, It is very possible to develop or have these characteristics without treating the woman badly.
@@annemarielaluna9350 wow, I’m only 18 but the older I get, the more confused I am about the mind of womanity. Being nice DOES mean moral compass and value, regardless of who it’s towards. You said you are going to be punched by a feminist, but with your mentality, you are much more likely to be punched by a “masculine” and “solid” abusive husband you apparently want. Oh well. Being nice to everybody is all that matters in the end, and that’s all I know. And when I find my love, I will treat her right because that’s what Gentlemen do. Being respectful and nurturing is humanity’s job, that shows a lot by you saying only women can be respectful. You really are a feminist LOL. But because I’m “unattractive”, I forgive you and I wish you luck because you’ll need it
@@EvvrEndeavors I guess she's referring to simps. I mean women want men with good moral and ethical values, polite, caring, genuine etc but in a manly way. But you have to be strong in your words and decisions. Don't be too agreeable and don't fake niceness.
Im already a disagreeable extrovert. I dont need another jerk so I married a nice guy. He uses me as an excuse to say no and he makes me want to be a nicer human being. It's a win win. Hahaha
Joking aside, i think what people are attracted to is confidence which most jerks possess in bountiful amounts.
my mom tried to cram me in that "perfect" box.. thank you mom...
Thank you God Almighty for this human being. “ I thank the Lord, there’s people out there like you. “ - Elton John
A really sophisticated analysis. I was expecting the usual comments.