I want to address this because it's a teachable moment. I hear your impatience and I also hear that you came back, likely for the wisdom. You do know that you have a choice right? I wonder where else in your life are you tolerating (cause you don't have watch these) and causing yourself unnecessary turmoil?
@aishah abdelnoor you don't have to be married to give relationship advice to people who participate in this hookup culture. But you must be married to give advice to those people who want to be married/wives not brides . Wives come into a marriage understanding their place in that union and what her man needs from her and vice versa. Brides come into a marriage looking for a Disney fantasy that caters to her wants and needs only!
@aishah abdelnoor first, marriage is a business! That why its the number one indicator of wealth! Married couples net-worth is 77% more than single folks. second, being "HAPPY" in a marriage just means you appreciate, value and grateful for that person and the good they bring to the marriage/ your life. Only ungrateful people are unhappy in their marriage and in life; because they only dwell on what they don't have. Instead of embracing what they do.
I sent my (now) husband an edible arrangement to his job where he worked with an office full of women. He was so happy and told me that all the women in his office hated on him saying they would never do that for their boyfriend. Fast forward 4 years, we are married, own 2 homes, have 2 kids and one on the way while the girls at his job are either single mothers or just single. My husband appreciated any and everything I surprised him with... and still does. I am so lucky to have him 💓 I'm do happy he was confident enough to accept my gifts without feeling emasculated, but instead appreciate the love I give to him.
What is your advice for navigating a relationship with a man who does not value “traditional” romantic gestures like flowers or edible arrangements and instead values “practical” gestures to show his care like cooking daily or buying lunch weekly? We are still in the early stages of dating. I expressed my desire for these things. He let me know he was not into that. I was very disappointed and felt rejected. He shows his commitment in other ways, which I am grateful for. I still think this is a great relationship. I just want to manage my expectations and triggers.
I tell my husband I appreciate him all the time. All the things he does that he doesn't have to do if he didn't really care. Even filling up the gas tank. I hate pumping gas and he keeps the car gassed up so I thank him for that. He goes to work so we can eat so I tell him I appreciate him for doing that. In return he also will Tell me things like I appreciate the way you pack my lunch box for work so I can eat well or the way you help keep things in order. We remind each other constantly how blessed we are to have each other and its not hard or demeaning. I used to do everything pretty much on my own but I learned to lean on and trust him cause I wanted our marriage to be a great one. We work equally hard at our relationship. I push him to be the man and he forces me to be feminine and I love it. I love being able to be soft. I was lacking that In my life
The key is to be with a man who you respect, then telling him you respect him won't be a stretch. Also, if he's a decent human being then it'll be easy appreciate him for various reasons. A man who's not a kind person not worthy of respect can never be worthy of your love.
The art of stroking a man's ego, has been lost. Bc they are actually more emotionally fragile, than us, learning to stroke a good man's ego is normally all that it takes.
AllPro777 Although the replier to the earlier message said "stroke his ego". I believe he or she were trying to swat at the idea of the 'needs of a man'. Men need to feel respected and women need affection. Simply put. If both can learn this then a balance is created.
OMG as soon as I listened to the video he called. He asked me what I was doing...I said I'm thinking about you and reflecting on our relationship. I said "Babe I appreciate you, the way you take care of me and our home. You pay the bills, you make me laugh, see that I have what I need and you never complained." "It's my goal like the woman in the picture you hung on the wall you are my vessel I'm going to pour more into you, I believe in us, we're going to be ok." .... a long silence, then he said " I needed to hear that, I love and appreciate you too." 💕
Appreciation is the feeling. Love is the action. It is patient...it is kind...it does not envy...does not behave itself unseemly...it’s not easily provoked...it thinks no evil. Agape.
Thanks, cause I love when a woman compliment for what I have done, and how I inspire her, this have a very powerful connection, I'm compelled, motivated to do more, keep the harmony going.... I do a lot, and to show appreciation is respectful. Great Word!!!!
I am man of course and this is so true and great advice. There is nothing like a woman that knows how to build a man's spirit. that is the true essence of a woman whom is a help meet to a man that wants to make her happy and lead her in a positive direction. Great video.
Light Johson J I was not implying that her only value is to bend to a man's need I was eluding to scripture "That a virtuous/wise woman buildeth her house but the foolish tear it down." Referencing to a real woman knows how to "build up" and that not just her self esteem but also her home, children, husband etc because of her ability to nurture.
This just gave me so much insight. I’m the woman saying I love you 1000 times a day and expecting my partner to respond back, seeking reassurance that he still feels the same way.By watching this video, I found that “I love you” is being replace with all the feelings Inside of me that I can’t explain or don’t know how to. The words “I love you” are just familiar to me and act as a space filler for the words I truely want to say. Things such as I appreciate you in this moment, thank you for taking out the trash today, I admire the way you go to work and provide for us on a daily basis without complaining, I hate to think about what my life would be without you, the love you give me is so satisfying, I love the way that we connect with each other, I love the fact that you “get me” unlike anyone else etc etc.... Instead we as women try to say all those things with one generic term hoping that the man interprets WHY we are actually saying “i love you”. Omg this hit home for me in so many ways. I will definitely start expressing my gratitude and love a lot different to my other half. Thanks for this video! It was a pleasure to watch and truely an eye opener ☺️🙌❤️ -briauna hinds (saint louis,mo)
Briauna, what a perfect breakdown and dissection of the video. I have recently met someone new, and my feelings are so overwhelming. I had to do research on how deep or how I was feeling. Come to find out, I am passionately in love with this man, but why? It is because of all the things that he is doing and hence I need to show gratitude to him for those things. This is so so important, because my heart has been drug through the mud in previous relationships. I'm glad that you learned a new skill, as did I. God bless you in your marriage. ❤
The reason "I love you," makes many men uncomfortable is because it often comes with unseen strings attached and unspoken demands. "Women want to be adored and men want to be honored." I say "Be authentic!" If you give me white roses from your heart, I won't be awkward at all.
Note: This doesn’t work with men with a low self-esteem, a poor mother-son relationship, and no ambition. But it does with men that have all 3 in reverse. 💕💕
When a husband's mother is a narcissist, he has grew up with low self esteem. He was never nurtured by his mother, so when you try to build his self worth, it's draining on the wife.
You need to spread this message throughout the world. Men want to be respected and if he feels that from a woman then he knows he's loved and will cherish you more than Sunday Football, hopefully the reference is not misunderstood
Queen! I was so shocked to scroll into the comments and see the rude commentary. I am 5 years late but I was literally hung on every word, after first being entranced by your perfect white teeth and beauty. I appreciate your tips so much, I am a new subscriber and here to stay for life . You're so pleasant to watch and listen to God bless
Every so often I tell my husband I appreciate him for providing for me. For being a man of strength. The reason why I tell him is because I want him to know that I notice the things he does for me and I don’t take it for granted. It’s my first time visiting. I just joined your community and clicked the notification bell. Thank you for the great advice. 🙏
We want to love...and we often say “I love you” from a place of Fear. AFFIRM LADIES, “I AM THE LOVE I SEEK! PERFECT LOVE IS NOT OUTSIDE OF ME! IT IS ME!! AND PERFECT LOVE CASTS OUT ALL FEAR.” We all want love but it starts with loving ourselves first. Gurl, you know your cup needs to stay full in our day to day!! Stay on Full! ❤️❤️
This woman is right on. To a man, the words, “I love you,” doesn’t have the same value. He wants to be admired and appreciated. We women place more value on what we hear. We want him to say it to us, and it’ll work, EVEN if he doesn’t mean it.
This is 100% true. You must build him up and be that spiritual support. Honestly, even if you grew apart, he would always remember and appreciate you. (Cause life happens)
Thank you so much! You are the definition of a true queen! We have to think outside the box. Beauty fades, love weakens at times, but if you respect him it always stays in his heart and head. I think respect will hold a man when nothing else will. ♥️
I know this is 3 years ago, but I am blessed with a man and I came across your video & it truly aided me because it wasnt like what most youtubers have said, which can come off as disingenuous. I actually took your advice & my man lit up like NO OTHER! He was beaming with joy! In addition I'm from STL too 🙌🏾 Thank you SO MUCH MONIQUE!!!!
Wish I knew this decades ago. Got myself into relationships that I didn't want, from saying I love you, and really just wanted the person to know how much it meant to me, re: their help, attention, or enjoying with me, the things that we're meaningful to me. Helpful now, in 2018, so I can be specific and clear with my sincere compliments.
Hello! I'm married to my High School sweetheart and just wanted to try your advice. OMG did it work! I make it a habit to call my husband to say "I Love Him" everyday because my days are so demanding that sometimes I leave home without saying goodbye. His response today was amazingly different and I can hear in his voice the appreciation of what was expressed. His response was full of emotion that I could feel him smiling. His "I love you" felt NEW! Thank you!
God bless you sister! This is great word from a man this really speaks to my feelings I never really had the language to express why the “I love you” was less valuable to me.
I have never watched your videos, but for some reason this one showed up in my suggestions. I have been married for 4 years and this year has been rough. Seeing your video has really made me realize many things I do not do that I should which could possibly smooth some rough places. We are the "Lu you, Lu you too" couple. I love my husband but it almost feels like saying it is a formality. There are MANY things that I love about him that I have never told him but im QUICK to tell him what "I cant stand" about him (wow now I feel bad 😕). Thx for sharing. New subbie.
I love what you had to say, it's all about vibration, everything whether you are praying to God, talking to your children, talking to your man or your friends. So appreciated!
Lol, I did the flowers thing as well when I was 20. Thanks for reminding me, he didn't like it at the moment. However, 10 years later he did say thank you because he realized that I was trying to show him love. He told me I was the only woman that ever brought him something to show appreciation.
Actually its not emasculating to give a man flowers...It is actually quite refreshing;the sentiment is beautiful...I mean,I prefer a a set of tools,but I get it, with women..It's a sweet gesture..A man will never forget you if you give him flowers..Although he may treat it in a strange way,believe me,you have already stolen a part of his heart..It shows a man that he is loved and wanted and thats a wonderful thing sister..What an angel
Donald Grazette Is this your opinion from experience? Did the man receiving the flowers actually confirm and how many of your men actually liked receiving flowers 💐🌸🌺? Very feminine gesture imo, send a box of mixed nuts or something manly, my coworker received gifts from his wife all the time, but never flowers.
Tee Bee If a man knows who he is then the fact that a woman (took the time out to extend such a gesture) says a lot about that woman.No true man would ever be offended,quite the contrary..He is going to say"wow,what a decent,unselfish woman"..
BROWNGURL 88 Maybe it was the display and how you did it that embarrassed him.It should have been done in a private setting,not for display so everyone could see.
What a breath of fresh air! This is the first of your videos I'm seeing, and let me tell you how unique your advice is on RUclips, and in larger society. It seems we've been ignoring the basics of masculine and feminine energy and I'm glad to see such a put-together, beautiful woman guiding the rest of us females here online to understanding the complexities of the male/female relationship. Please keep up the good work and I look forward to seeing more of you!
You are such a lady and I appreciate you taking the time to make these videos to help other women. I am 49 years young and there's some things that I will take away from this video and apply to my life. So thank you very much I'm subscribed so I will be watching. God bless.
May I offer some speaking/presentation tips? *1. Speak from your diaphragm. Breathe when speaking. You'll find you have a less shaking voice & be less inclined to speed talk. *2. Read from your organized cue cards/index cards. Doing this will allow you to not only get to the point quicker (as they'll have 3 bullet points each) it will help in presenting with confidence and a cohesive flow. For example: read aloud the bullet point (the category or topic) then look into the camera to expound on bullet point, with notes, ideas etc. The magic 3 helps with keeping yourself from sounding verbose, rambling and disorganized. *3. Environment. Shoot in the area of your house you feel most comfortable in, a.k.a, the area where you give advice to your home girl from an honest sincere place. Here it sounds like a conversation and less like a tutorial when talking with you friend. If it's the bedroom, create a nice simple set up there. AND SIT DOWN! Standing is not a resting vibe is an action stance because it leads to walking out of focus or swaying in place. Sitting is a vibe of comfort, serenity, togetherness/one with you in your peaceful therapeutic space. ---- Hope those help you? You offer sound advice, establish the perfect space for it. GBU♥
New subscriber. This was a breath of fresh air. I’m single and started back dating 5 months ago. My experience with dating has been a negative experience so far. And most of the time on RUclips I see a lot of women discussing the horrible dating experiences we are having with men. Im glad your video popped up it’s more positive and I rather focus on the positive aspects of men and relationships than to keep listening to the horror stories, maybe this will help me understand better and help me meet my future husband.
Monique, I loved your intro. I love hearing the examples because I can relate to the awkward moments. So, although some people wanted you to "get to the point" just know that there are others who appreciate you showing that even though you are married, you are speaking from your own prior experiences.
It's hard bcuz men want credit and appreciation for stuff they DONT DO!!!! I love adore and appreciate my husband greatly. I do EVERYTHING for him. But lately I give up and we are barely speaking. WHY? So I ask what's wrong. He wants appreciation for taking care of me. Ok so what does that mean? He's convinced himself that he pays EVERYTHING and I'm a kept woman!!!! Um I work 2 jobs and u pay the 2 largest bills-rent and car note. I pay EVERYTHING ELSE!!!! AS WE AGREED. Here I sit thinking that it's a partnership and were in this TOGETHER. Taking care of each other but no. Well I appreciate that you pay the rent even though you gotta pay rent if I live or die bcuz nobody lives rent free! But as long as I pay everything else, I'm not about to be no LIAR and thank you for taking care of me and for being a kept woman. I Work too hard and pay too much. So you got some advice bcuz he done went CRAZY!?
Totally agree! Some men (& women) are delusional as they think they do way more than they really do. I held my man down while he was laid off, unemployed, in school then unemployed again while procrastinating for 6 months on what kind of job he should get (while he was getting offers all across the country & beyond). His monthly contribution went from $500 - $0. I paid ALL the bills, his car note for 3months, did his resume, cook & clean everything & even took him on a trip as a graduation gift. Never got 1 “Thank You” or “I appreciate you so much”... nothing. & Even Worse he had a “rainy day” stash that I found. In his head he thought that I’m suppose to take care of him when he’s down & out. Ugh, some folks are just spoiled brats who expect others to take care of them when THEY decide not to take care of themselves. I’ll NEVER be so kind to anyone again!
I do everything for my wife and provide her with everything she has ever expressed or shown an interest in our desire for. She's my best friend and a great person. I need nothing more than respect, to enjoy her body and feminine energy, and frequent, enthusiastic sex. I don't need gifts, lingerie, or much of anything else. Every man I've ever shared this with has fully agreed. It means more than you might think.
I did all of this and more as I was led to. I saw the goodness in him of how God created him, and he still would not even commit to being my boyfriend. We dated, went through everything for over 3 years until I just got tired. I still believe that God has greatness in him for His Glory despite what this man never gave to me. Know your value ladies.
Thank you for sharing. I wasn't taught how to deal or be with a man other than sex stuff. Now I'm in a relationship and not sure how to move forward with him. But you helped me.💙
🌹 you are so kind to share these things! What an incredible world it could be if more simply took the time to explain the little things that can make all the difference!! (Men are quite different from us.) Bless you 🌹
You have a beautiful Holy Spirit filled countenance. I could tell you loved Jesus Christ immediately and it was confirmed once you started speaking. Thank you and God bless . Stay close to Christ. ❤❤❤
Thank you so much for this video. A lot of times we don't know how to communicate what we are feeling or even how to recognize what we are feeling. It is the verbalization and gratitude during those moments that make us feel overwhelmed with passion and love, bringing together the closeness of two people. I am in a new relationship, and this will help me tremendously, as you specifically pointed out exactly what I needed to know. God bless you and thank you again for this wonderful video.
This is very helpful. Especially in early relationships when we are still quite unsure of our feelings. Thank you very much, I'd put this into practice
🌸🌼🌺🌿🌻.... 🌹🌹🌹...Flowers for you Beautiful lady! I really enjoyed this video. ❤️❤️It’s funny I came across your video today. I have been preaching the same message to close friends for years. About 2 years ago, (after reading the 5 languages of love) I told my hubby that I appreciated him and he said the same thing. “I didn’t know you felt that way”. I say all types of things now instead of “I love you”. On occasion, I’ll even say (if he says it first that is “That’s what’s up” or “that’s cool”. He laughs and I’ve noticed an incredible improvement in his ability to show me, “the way I can recognize” his love, also! 20 years and counting.
I just discovered you on YT today and i can very confidently say that was no coincidence! Its a God move!! Thank you for this really important being intentional. Am hooked to your channel now. love xx
Only if he has deserves it and has lived up to it. Don't be dishonest with him because it only hurts him in the long run. If he needs work, let him know that he needs more work and to put more effort into himself. But do be encouraging. Don't say things just to cater to his instant needs in the moment because it only makes him resent you for saying and doing things just to get something out of him. It's an act of neediness and codependency.
Thank you so much, I really needed this. I was having a hard time figuring out how to express my love in different ways; you have really opened up my eyes.
thank you so much! I just used this tactic in response to an "I love you" that came way out of left field. Just in my new response I feel a sense of empowerment, but more so, authenticity. Peace and luv! Im definitely checking out your training course. I have a lot of self-loving to learn to do as well. xoxo
Good Morning. How are you? I want to thank you for this. Listening to you made me realize things about my 4 sons. We always talk about the fathers should show their daughters how a man should treat them. We as women never show our sons how a woman should treat them. We as women always talk about the type of man we want. I haven't had that much luck with men but listening to you help me to realize why. Although I was doing some of the things you where saying I was doing it where it confused the man (if this make since). I was not taught on how to be that woman growing up. I had to learn a lot of thing on my own when it came to a man. I grew in a family of "DONT KNOW CANT, TEACH AND NOT TRY TO FIND OUT, SO DO YOUR BEST TO FIGURE IT OUT OWN YOUR OWN".My real father and stepfather did not teach me anything that I thought a man should teach a daughter, on how to be, when it comes to a man. My real father told me that "AS LONG AS I HAVE THAT I SHOULD NEVER BE BROKE". I told him that, that is a horrible thing to say to your daughter. All my step father showed was that women are maids and servants. This is just a tid bit of what my life was like. I did choose to be different from my family. Listening to you, It made me realize in order for my sons to have a good woman I need to show them what to look for by them and talk to them more about that. So thank you again.God BlessBravewaters
You know I really appreciate this message your relaying. I just recently sent flowers to my man and on the card I simply put because I really appreciate everything that you do. He responded with appreciation but I don’t know if that means that I actually love him or that I am in love with how he caters to me and speaks to me and how he asks me for input on things that he’s doing.
Most Powerful and Important, Unlearning negative and destructive thoughts ,words and actions. Placing constructive energy into all areas of activities. And last putting in the necessary work on the Self, Shadow Ego and Persona. Realness!
Thank you for this great advice! It makes so much more sense to relate to men & love 💕 that you tie in what the Scripture says too. A great role model & example!
Thank you I want to learn more on him to be a virtuous woman, applying all the tools you present God bless you and may he continue to speak through you in such a mighty way. I am married and having some challenges, I don't want a divorce i want my family back and I know with christ all things are possible. Thank you for your wisdom
holy shit! I really appreciate you queen! the honesty is refreshing, and it really gives me hope to know that there are women like you creating change for the better. #HiVibez
I am grateful to have found your channel. I write my fiance letters and poetry because I haven't worked up the courage to verbally express it yet. At the beginning of our relationship I tried to sign (sign language) it but he wanted me to speak. So within the past couple months I have opened up more and started to verbally explain my feelings. I have been researching different things and this has really helped. Thank you for knowing your purpose.
I enjoy your videos...you are wise and the delivery is so warm and kind. At max level, it is still difficult to hear you at times... Be well and thank you for your candor.
whats so wrong with saying I love you or accepting someone saying I love you , if you can say it or accept it at some point then why bother being in a relationship
Latoya Guion I assume this is not to keep from saying it but to make it count when you do. If not it becomes mere mundane repetition but adding to it like the examples she's gave take away the habit. Hope this helps.
My boyfriend knows how to make special moments.. I told him this the other day and he lit UP!! He finds ways to take moments just for me and him like stealing a kiss or pulling me alway from a group just for something private for us too!! And I told him I noticed that and I really loved that about him. And the response was special I can tell it touched his heart.
I just hapoened upon your channel. No, I ought to probably say that Holy Spirit led me to you. Wow. Amen and truth, for sure. Thank you and God bless Subscribed!
I actually found this video really helpful. Thank you! I appreciate your solution to something that is easily overlooked but could make a HUGE difference.
I preach this same premise! A man, if they had to choose, would always choose respect over love and a woman, vice versa. Of course, we each want and desire BOTH, but if forced to choose one...
Thank you soooo much for sharing and taking the time to be completely genuine in this process! This is extremely valuable as I am in a relationship with someone who is 5 years my junior. It's very healthy to attempt change emotionally to a better you! God bless your endeavor!
PLEASE GET TO THE FREAKING POINT!!! UGH! Women just go on with their mouths! I got so freaking impatient I came back later!
I want to address this because it's a teachable moment. I hear your impatience and I also hear that you came back, likely for the wisdom. You do know that you have a choice right? I wonder where else in your life are you tolerating (cause you don't have watch these) and causing yourself unnecessary turmoil?
wow now would be the perfect time for the "Ha *clap* got'eem" guy lol
She is longing for an answer it’s not personal to the speaker.
Dawn Rivera the video is 8 minutes & 49 seconds long 😂 not 18. She actually got right to the point!
oliviamelrose totally agree. 😊
Tip starts at 5:20. You're welcome.
Mimi1117 THANK YOU!
Lol thanxx
👍🏾😂😂😂👍🏾
Mimi1117 Thanks
Mimi1117 looooord yesssss thanks so much. Lol
Finally a sista who is actually married giving single women relationship advice! Excellent JOB QUEEN!!!!!!
I always look at that when someone tries to give me relationship advises 🤣😂 I need to see something shiny on ur finger!
Agreed!
@aishah abdelnoor you don't have to be married to give relationship advice to people who participate in this hookup culture. But you must be married to give advice to those people who want to be married/wives not brides . Wives come into a marriage understanding their place in that union and what her man needs from her and vice versa. Brides come into a marriage looking for a Disney fantasy that caters to her wants and needs only!
@aishah abdelnoor first, marriage is a business! That why its the number one indicator of wealth! Married couples net-worth is 77% more than single folks. second, being "HAPPY" in a marriage just means you appreciate, value and grateful for that person and the good they bring to the marriage/ your life. Only ungrateful people are unhappy in their marriage and in life; because they only dwell on what they don't have. Instead of embracing what they do.
All Praise To the Most High
This so worked🤗🤗🤗....funny thing is he opened up and told me how he adores me!!!
A lot of women dont understand how important feminine alure is. Im glad i came across your site.
I sent my (now) husband an edible arrangement to his job where he worked with an office full of women. He was so happy and told me that all the women in his office hated on him saying they would never do that for their boyfriend. Fast forward 4 years, we are married, own 2 homes, have 2 kids and one on the way while the girls at his job are either single mothers or just single. My husband appreciated any and everything I surprised him with... and still does. I am so lucky to have him 💓 I'm do happy he was confident enough to accept my gifts without feeling emasculated, but instead appreciate the love I give to him.
What is your advice for navigating a relationship with a man who does not value “traditional” romantic gestures like flowers or edible arrangements and instead values “practical” gestures to show his care like cooking daily or buying lunch weekly? We are still in the early stages of dating. I expressed my desire for these things. He let me know he was not into that. I was very disappointed and felt rejected. He shows his commitment in other ways, which I am grateful for. I still think this is a great relationship. I just want to manage my expectations and triggers.
It’s important to consider what he likes to receive. Mine would appreciate a plant over cut flowers
I tell my husband I appreciate him all the time. All the things he does that he doesn't have to do if he didn't really care. Even filling up the gas tank. I hate pumping gas and he keeps the car gassed up so I thank him for that. He goes to work so we can eat so I tell him I appreciate him for doing that. In return he also will Tell me things like I appreciate the way you pack my lunch box for work so I can eat well or the way you help keep things in order. We remind each other constantly how blessed we are to have each other and its not hard or demeaning. I used to do everything pretty much on my own but I learned to lean on and trust him cause I wanted our marriage to be a great one. We work equally hard at our relationship. I push him to be the man and he forces me to be feminine and I love it. I love being able to be soft. I was lacking that In my life
Great advice
Love it!
wow!this is beautiful
The Normal Life what u mean by being so .eg pls
Tijoina Thompson what do you mean eg?
The key is to be with a man who you respect, then telling him you respect him won't be a stretch. Also, if he's a decent human being then it'll be easy appreciate him for various reasons. A man who's not a kind person not worthy of respect can never be worthy of your love.
Preach.
You know what you are so right, i guess you experience it and so do i
The art of stroking a man's ego, has been lost. Bc they are actually more emotionally fragile, than us, learning to stroke a good man's ego is normally all that it takes.
Myshan Amakisi yes they are...who raised them.
T babt Exactly!!!
I don't want my ego stroked. I want you to keep it real. Clearly, your only experience is with dating simps and weak-minded men, smh.
AllPro777 Although the replier to the earlier message said "stroke his ego". I believe he or she were trying to swat at the idea of the 'needs of a man'. Men need to feel respected and women need affection. Simply put. If both can learn this then a balance is created.
If you don't do it someone else will!
OMG as soon as I listened to the video he called. He asked me what I was doing...I said I'm thinking about you and reflecting on our relationship. I said "Babe I appreciate you, the way you take care of me and our home. You pay the bills, you make me laugh, see that I have what I need and you never complained." "It's my goal like the woman in the picture you hung on the wall you are my vessel I'm going to pour more into you, I believe in us, we're going to be ok." .... a long silence, then he said " I needed to hear that, I love and appreciate you too." 💕
Thank you for sharing 💕
Appreciation is the feeling. Love is the action. It is patient...it is kind...it does not envy...does not behave itself unseemly...it’s not easily provoked...it thinks no evil. Agape.
I love the way you..
I appreciate that..
I really respect the way you..
This can really feed the spirit. Appreciate it.🙌💯
Thank you.
Thanks, cause I love when a woman compliment for what I have done, and how I inspire her, this have a very powerful connection, I'm compelled, motivated to do more, keep the harmony going.... I do a lot, and to show appreciation is respectful. Great Word!!!!
Thanks for sharing this
I am man of course and this is so true and great advice. There is nothing like a woman that knows how to build a man's spirit. that is the true essence of a woman whom is a help meet to a man that wants to make her happy and lead her in a positive direction. Great video.
Light Johson J I was not implying that her only value is to bend to a man's need I was eluding to scripture "That a virtuous/wise woman buildeth her house but the foolish tear it down." Referencing to a real woman knows how to "build up" and that not just her self esteem but also her home, children, husband etc because of her ability to nurture.
Warrior of Deity yes you have to that's my thoughts if we don't build him up than who will
Warrior of Deity. 💨I agree!
Thank you. I have always wondered how a man sees all this. Your comment is very helpful to me
This just gave me so much insight. I’m the woman saying I love you 1000 times a day and expecting my partner to respond back, seeking reassurance that he still feels the same way.By watching this video, I found that “I love you” is being replace with all the feelings Inside of me that I can’t explain or don’t know how to. The words “I love you” are just familiar to me and act as a space filler for the words I truely want to say. Things such as I appreciate you in this moment, thank you for taking out the trash today, I admire the way you go to work and provide for us on a daily basis without complaining, I hate to think about what my life would be without you, the love you give me is so satisfying, I love the way that we connect with each other, I love the fact that you “get me” unlike anyone else etc etc.... Instead we as women try to say all those things with one generic term hoping that the man interprets WHY we are actually saying “i love you”. Omg this hit home for me in so many ways. I will definitely start expressing my gratitude and love a lot different to my other half. Thanks for this video! It was a pleasure to watch and truely an eye opener ☺️🙌❤️ -briauna hinds (saint louis,mo)
Briauna Hinds hey girl gow ya doung
Briauna, what a perfect breakdown and dissection of the video. I have recently met someone new, and my feelings are so overwhelming. I had to do research on how deep or how I was feeling. Come to find out, I am passionately in love with this man, but why? It is because of all the things that he is doing and hence I need to show gratitude to him for those things. This is so so important, because my heart has been drug through the mud in previous relationships. I'm glad that you learned a new skill, as did I.
God bless you in your marriage. ❤
You don't need it 1000 x per day but at least once per day and mean it.
I'm getting bored of saving "I love you" over and over.. you have saved my life!! 😙😙😙😙
The reason "I love you," makes many men uncomfortable is because it often comes with unseen strings attached and unspoken demands. "Women want to be adored and men want to be honored." I say "Be authentic!" If you give me white roses from your heart, I won't be awkward at all.
Respect is everything to a man.
I love how you’re a Christian Woman! It really made understand this in a spiritual level
Note: This doesn’t work with men with a low self-esteem, a poor mother-son relationship, and no ambition. But it does with men that have all 3 in reverse. 💕💕
When a husband's mother is a narcissist, he has grew up with low self esteem. He was never nurtured by his mother, so when you try to build his self worth, it's draining on the wife.
This! I think a lot of women do love and appreciate this wisdom but are with men who aren’t healed and don’t receive what’s needed well
You need to spread this message throughout the world. Men want to be respected and if he feels that from a woman then he knows he's loved and will cherish you more than Sunday Football, hopefully the reference is not misunderstood
Thanks Jerry! You can help me spread the message by sharing it with your network. Just hit the "share" link above.
Done!!!!
Thank you for your generosity!
jerry pride wow more than Sunday football...I need to get with the program then.
jerry pride Check out semons from Myles Monroe. There are valuable clips on this same subject spoken years ago.
Queen! I was so shocked to scroll into the comments and see the rude commentary. I am 5 years late but I was literally hung on every word, after first being entranced by your perfect white teeth and beauty. I appreciate your tips so much, I am a new subscriber and here to stay for life . You're so pleasant to watch and listen to God bless
Girl, they''re so out of order. They need me and don't even know it. 🙄 But, I appreciate your comment. 💕
Every so often I tell my husband I appreciate him for providing for me. For being a man of strength. The reason why I tell him is because I want him to know that I notice the things he does for me and I don’t take it for granted. It’s my first time visiting. I just joined your community and clicked the notification bell. Thank you for the great advice. 🙏
I love this video because you incorporate the Bible with it🌠
Queen of Greatness 👍👍👍👍👍👍👍
Then you are brainwashed.
@@reespace ?? Are you Atheist or some?
@@sophiaarriaga9445 are you a brainwashed nut case or something?
We want to love...and we often say “I love you” from a place of Fear. AFFIRM LADIES, “I AM THE LOVE I SEEK! PERFECT LOVE IS NOT OUTSIDE OF ME! IT IS ME!! AND PERFECT LOVE CASTS OUT ALL FEAR.” We all want love but it starts with loving ourselves first. Gurl, you know your cup needs to stay full in our day to day!! Stay on Full! ❤️❤️
I love and needed this so much!! I'm only 22 but I definitely can take this with me when I finally do meet the man that God has for me ❤️❤️❤️
Are you married now Sis???💙😀
I love how you suggest being specific and intentional rather than just saying words with ought true meaning!
This woman is right on. To a man, the words, “I love you,” doesn’t have the same value. He wants to be admired and appreciated. We women place more value on what we hear. We want him to say it to us, and it’ll work, EVEN if he doesn’t mean it.
This is 100% true. You must build him up and be that spiritual support. Honestly, even if you grew apart, he would always remember and appreciate you. (Cause life happens)
Thank you so much! You are the definition of a true queen! We have to think outside the box. Beauty fades, love weakens at times, but if you respect him it always stays in his heart and head. I think respect will hold a man when nothing else will. ♥️
I know this is 3 years ago, but I am blessed with a man and I came across your video & it truly aided me because it wasnt like what most youtubers have said, which can come off as disingenuous. I actually took your advice & my man lit up like NO OTHER! He was beaming with joy!
In addition I'm from STL too 🙌🏾
Thank you SO MUCH MONIQUE!!!!
Amen!! Thanks for sharing. My stuff works!
@@FEMININEINFLUENCE it truly does! I plan to binge watch all your videos!!
Wish I knew this decades ago. Got myself into relationships that I didn't want, from saying I love you, and really just wanted the person to know how much it meant to me, re: their help, attention, or enjoying with me, the things that we're meaningful to me.
Helpful now, in 2018, so I can be specific and clear with my sincere compliments.
Hello! I'm married to my High School sweetheart and just wanted to try your advice. OMG did it work! I make it a habit to call my husband to say "I Love Him" everyday because my days are so demanding that sometimes I leave home without saying goodbye. His response today was amazingly different and I can hear in his voice the appreciation of what was expressed. His response was full of emotion that I could feel him smiling. His "I love you" felt NEW! Thank you!
Haha will try this when i get married
This is so beautiful, positive, and very uplifting! I love this!
God bless you sister! This is great word from a man this really speaks to my feelings I never really had the language to express why the “I love you” was less valuable to me.
I have never watched your videos, but for some reason this one showed up in my suggestions. I have been married for 4 years and this year has been rough. Seeing your video has really made me realize many things I do not do that I should which could possibly smooth some rough places. We are the "Lu you, Lu you too" couple. I love my husband but it almost feels like saying it is a formality. There are MANY things that I love about him that I have never told him but im QUICK to tell him what "I cant stand" about him (wow now I feel bad 😕). Thx for sharing. New subbie.
I love what you had to say, it's all about vibration, everything whether you are praying to God, talking to your children, talking to your man or your friends. So appreciated!
Lol, I did the flowers thing as well when I was 20. Thanks for reminding me, he didn't like it at the moment. However, 10 years later he did say thank you because he realized that I was trying to show him love. He told me I was the only woman that ever brought him something to show appreciation.
Actually its not emasculating to give a man flowers...It is actually quite refreshing;the sentiment is beautiful...I mean,I prefer a a set of tools,but I get it, with women..It's a sweet gesture..A man will never forget you if you give him flowers..Although he may treat it in a strange way,believe me,you have already stolen a part of his heart..It shows a man that he is loved and wanted and thats a wonderful thing sister..What an angel
I am a man. If you bring me flowers. I will think that you're trying to emasculate me. Flowers don't mean nothing to us
I found this out the hard way...I sent my ex husband flowers to his job and he was embarrassed and gave them to his sister...
Donald Grazette Is this your opinion from experience? Did the man receiving the flowers actually confirm and how many of your men actually liked receiving flowers 💐🌸🌺? Very feminine gesture imo, send a box of mixed nuts or something manly, my coworker received gifts from his wife all the time, but never flowers.
Tee Bee If a man knows who he is then the fact that a woman (took the time out to extend such a gesture) says a lot about that woman.No true man would ever be offended,quite the contrary..He is going to say"wow,what a decent,unselfish woman"..
BROWNGURL 88 Maybe it was the display and how you did it that embarrassed him.It should have been done in a private setting,not for display so everyone could see.
What a breath of fresh air! This is the first of your videos I'm seeing, and let me tell you how unique your advice is on RUclips, and in larger society. It seems we've been ignoring the basics of masculine and feminine energy and I'm glad to see such a put-together, beautiful woman guiding the rest of us females here online to understanding the complexities of the male/female relationship. Please keep up the good work and I look forward to seeing more of you!
It's not only what you say, but how you say it. Language is the key to communication.
i love your hair..
Yes! Please make a video showing how to create your hairdo. It's beautiful!
michelle.makoni she does have nice hair
michelle.makoni absolutely gorgeous right?!...
It’s I love the way that you held your hair 🤣
michelle.makoni I know right!!! I wonder how she did it!
Your husband is a blessed man!
Michelle Marie He really is
I love the way that I could just call you in the middle of the day today when my mind was racing and have you talk me down.
it really works our for me get my ex back
I can help you out
➕1⃣2⃣0⃣4⃣5⃣0⃣0⃣1⃣6⃣6⃣2⃣
text me on WhatsApp for directive
You are such a lady and I appreciate you taking the time to make these videos to help other women. I am 49 years young and there's some things that I will take away from this video and apply to my life.
So thank you very much I'm subscribed so I will be watching. God bless.
Carolyn Jones
😂
I love your hair. You are one classy woman.
Thank you
Girl this is so true!!! I did this with my ex and he was speechless.
Candi D. Same here and tried to come back but its a NO baby. Hehehe 😂
I just want to know how you got you teeth so white can u share that?
Candi D. Why is he ur ex....it didn't work
You would be amazed how much a few kind words from the woman that a man loves means to him.
May I offer some speaking/presentation tips? *1. Speak from your diaphragm. Breathe when speaking. You'll find you have a less shaking voice & be less inclined to speed talk. *2. Read from your organized cue cards/index cards. Doing this will allow you to not only get to the point quicker (as they'll have 3 bullet points each) it will help in presenting with confidence and a cohesive flow. For example: read aloud the bullet point (the category or topic) then look into the camera to expound on bullet point, with notes, ideas etc. The magic 3 helps with keeping yourself from sounding verbose, rambling and disorganized. *3. Environment. Shoot in the area of your house you feel most comfortable in, a.k.a, the area where you give advice to your home girl from an honest sincere place. Here it sounds like a conversation and less like a tutorial when talking with you friend. If it's the bedroom, create a nice simple set up there. AND SIT DOWN! Standing is not a resting vibe is an action stance because it leads to walking out of focus or swaying in place. Sitting is a vibe of comfort, serenity, togetherness/one with you in your peaceful therapeutic space. ---- Hope those help you? You offer sound advice, establish the perfect space for it. GBU♥
You have such a light in your eyes and in your heart. You radiate.
You are delightful! Your spirit is bright and I love your message. Divine Feminine needs to be reminded of this. Thank you
I practice this with my boyfriend...and it really helps. Going deeper than just giving a shallow compliment but taking the time to share the "WHY".
New subscriber. This was a breath of fresh air. I’m single and started back dating 5 months ago. My experience with dating has been a negative experience so far. And most of the time on RUclips I see a lot of women discussing the horrible dating experiences we are having with men. Im glad your video popped up it’s more positive and I rather focus on the positive aspects of men and relationships than to keep listening to the horror stories, maybe this will help me understand better and help me meet my future husband.
Welcome! Sometimes this space is a complete eye roll, but I’m glad this video refreshing for you.
the white teeth is something else,your so beautiful
I love that you're a woman of faith!!!!
Monique, I loved your intro. I love hearing the examples because I can relate to the awkward moments. So, although some people wanted you to "get to the point" just know that there are others who appreciate you showing that even though you are married, you are speaking from your own prior experiences.
I totally agree with this approach. The 5 Love Languages is a great read. New subbie
It's hard bcuz men want credit and appreciation for stuff they DONT DO!!!! I love adore and appreciate my husband greatly. I do EVERYTHING for him. But lately I give up and we are barely speaking. WHY? So I ask what's wrong. He wants appreciation for taking care of me. Ok so what does that mean? He's convinced himself that he pays EVERYTHING and I'm a kept woman!!!! Um I work 2 jobs and u pay the 2 largest bills-rent and car note. I pay EVERYTHING ELSE!!!! AS WE AGREED. Here I sit thinking that it's a partnership and were in this TOGETHER. Taking care of each other but no. Well I appreciate that you pay the rent even though you gotta pay rent if I live or die bcuz nobody lives rent free! But as long as I pay everything else, I'm not about to be no LIAR and thank you for taking care of me and for being a kept woman. I Work too hard and pay too much. So you got some advice bcuz he done went CRAZY!?
Totally agree! Some men (& women) are delusional as they think they do way more than they really do. I held my man down while he was laid off, unemployed, in school then unemployed again while procrastinating for 6 months on what kind of job he should get (while he was getting offers all across the country & beyond). His monthly contribution went from $500 - $0. I paid ALL the bills, his car note for 3months, did his resume, cook & clean everything & even took him on a trip as a graduation gift. Never got 1 “Thank You” or “I appreciate you so much”... nothing. & Even Worse he had a “rainy day” stash that I found. In his head he thought that I’m suppose to take care of him when he’s down & out. Ugh, some folks are just spoiled brats who expect others to take care of them when THEY decide not to take care of themselves. I’ll NEVER be so kind to anyone again!
@@Itgyrl909 You're both doing too much for them, which deep down makes, men feel bad about themselves.
@@Itgyrl909wow sis, girl you’re not suppose to love him more than he loves you.
I do everything for my wife and provide her with everything she has ever expressed or shown an interest in our desire for. She's my best friend and a great person. I need nothing more than respect, to enjoy her body and feminine energy, and frequent, enthusiastic sex. I don't need gifts, lingerie, or much of anything else. Every man I've ever shared this with has fully agreed. It means more than you might think.
I enjoyed watching the video I enjoyed the examples that you gave . Thank you so much for imparting more grace into my life.
I did all of this and more as I was led to. I saw the goodness in him of how God created him, and he still would not even commit to being my boyfriend. We dated, went through everything for over 3 years until I just got tired. I still believe that God has greatness in him for His Glory despite what this man never gave to me. Know your value ladies.
Of course!
Thank you for sharing. I wasn't taught how to deal or be with a man other than sex stuff. Now I'm in a relationship and not sure how to move forward with him. But you helped me.💙
🌹 you are so kind to share these things! What an incredible world it could be if more simply took the time to explain the little things that can make all the difference!! (Men are quite different from us.)
Bless you 🌹
You have a beautiful Holy Spirit filled countenance. I could tell you loved Jesus Christ immediately and it was confirmed once you started speaking. Thank you and God bless . Stay close to Christ. ❤❤❤
Thank you so much for this video. A lot of times we don't know how to communicate what we are feeling or even how to recognize what we are feeling. It is the verbalization and gratitude during those moments that make us feel overwhelmed with passion and love, bringing together the closeness of two people. I am in a new relationship, and this will help me tremendously, as you specifically pointed out exactly what I needed to know. God bless you and thank you again for this wonderful video.
It’s so true, we get overwhelmed with gratitude. You’re welcome.
❤
God bless you sist.
This is very helpful. Especially in early relationships when we are still quite unsure of our feelings. Thank you very much, I'd put this into practice
This is actually really good advice. We want to be appreciated by our man but we also have to show we appreciate them too.
🌸🌼🌺🌿🌻.... 🌹🌹🌹...Flowers for you Beautiful lady! I really enjoyed this video.
❤️❤️It’s funny I came across your video today. I have been preaching the same message to close friends for years. About 2 years ago, (after reading the 5 languages of love) I told my hubby that I appreciated him and he said the same thing. “I didn’t know you felt that way”. I say all types of things now instead of “I love you”. On occasion, I’ll even say (if he says it first that is “That’s what’s up” or “that’s cool”. He laughs and I’ve noticed an incredible improvement in his ability to show me, “the way I can recognize” his love, also! 20 years and counting.
I just discovered you on YT today and i can very confidently say that was no coincidence! Its a God move!! Thank you for this really important being intentional. Am hooked to your channel now. love xx
Great advice. I love the way you break it down to the "real life" level. Thank you.
Only if he has deserves it and has lived up to it. Don't be dishonest with him because it only hurts him in the long run. If he needs work, let him know that he needs more work and to put more effort into himself. But do be encouraging. Don't say things just to cater to his instant needs in the moment because it only makes him resent you for saying and doing things just to get something out of him. It's an act of neediness and codependency.
Thank you so much, I really needed this. I was having a hard time figuring out how to express my love in different ways; you have really opened up my eyes.
My pleasure. You're most welcome! If it's helpful, please share with just 2 women you know.
" The 5 Love Languages" (forgot the author) and ("Love and Respect"Author Dr Emerson Eggrich I believe) are great reads and will get you started.
You are so beautiful.
It is so nice to have positive, real talk from a softly spoken and soulful woman. Thank you x
Always a blessed & very practical Word Sis keep shining your light #weneedyou❤
Thank you for the acknowledgement
I love this hairstyle
Thank you so much- this is great information on how to communicate how we feel in a way that a man can receive and be encouraged by. 👍🏾😊
Great advice. Tell him what you like/love about him instead of just saying I love you.
thank you so much! I just used this tactic in response to an "I love you" that came way out of left field. Just in my new response I feel a sense of empowerment, but more so, authenticity. Peace and luv! Im definitely checking out your training course. I have a lot of self-loving to learn to do as well. xoxo
Good Morning. How are you? I want to thank you for this. Listening to you made me realize things about my 4 sons. We always talk about the fathers should show their daughters how a man should treat them. We as women never show our sons how a woman should treat them. We as women always talk about the type of man we want. I haven't had that much luck with men but listening to you help me to realize why. Although I was doing some of the things you where saying I was doing it where it confused the man (if this make since). I was not taught on how to be that woman growing up. I had to learn a lot of thing on my own when it came to a man. I grew in a family of "DONT KNOW CANT, TEACH AND NOT TRY TO FIND OUT, SO DO YOUR BEST TO FIGURE IT OUT OWN YOUR OWN".My real father and stepfather did not teach me anything that I thought a man should teach a daughter, on how to be, when it comes to a man. My real father told me that "AS LONG AS I HAVE THAT I SHOULD NEVER BE BROKE". I told him that, that is a horrible thing to say to your daughter. All my step father showed was that women are maids and servants. This is just a tid bit of what my life was like. I did choose to be different from my family. Listening to you, It made me realize in order for my sons to have a good woman I need to show them what to look for by them and talk to them more about that. So thank you again.God BlessBravewaters
On a journey of unlearning everything I've been taught about love and relationship growing up. Keep being different, doing better babe ❤
I need to hold back on saying I love you to my man and say what you suggested. Thank you
You know I really appreciate this message your relaying. I just recently sent flowers to my man and on the card I simply put because I really appreciate everything that you do. He responded with appreciation but I don’t know if that means that I actually love him or that I am in love with how he caters to me and speaks to me and how he asks me for input on things that he’s doing.
Good advice for all relationships. Thanks you Lady for the advice.
Most Powerful and Important, Unlearning negative and destructive thoughts ,words and actions. Placing constructive energy into all areas of activities. And last putting in the necessary work on the Self, Shadow Ego and Persona. Realness!
Thank you for this great advice! It makes so much more sense to relate to men & love 💕 that you tie in what the Scripture says too. A great role model & example!
You brought him flowers? You are precious. 🌸
Thank you I want to learn more on him to be a virtuous woman, applying all the tools you present God bless you and may he continue to speak through you in such a mighty way. I am married and having some challenges, I don't want a divorce i want my family back and I know with christ all things are possible. Thank you for your wisdom
Wow! These tips were great. It shows that if we really want to appreciate our partner, we must learn to speak their language. Great vid 😊
holy shit! I really appreciate you queen! the honesty is refreshing, and it really gives me hope to know that there are women like you creating change for the better. #HiVibez
I am grateful to have found your channel. I write my fiance letters and poetry because I haven't worked up the courage to verbally express it yet. At the beginning of our relationship I tried to sign (sign language) it but he wanted me to speak. So within the past couple months I have opened up more and started to verbally explain my feelings. I have been researching different things and this has really helped. Thank you for knowing your purpose.
Its been 5 years, how’s it going?
I enjoy your videos...you are wise and the delivery is so warm and kind. At max level, it is still difficult to hear you at times...
Be well and thank you for your candor.
Youre skin looks vibrant. I think its important to express gratitude and respect for what you're man do when he least expects it. Thanks for sharing!
whats so wrong with saying I love you or accepting someone saying I love you , if you can say it or accept it at some point then why bother being in a relationship
Latoya Guion I assume this is not to keep from saying it but to make it count when you do. If not it becomes mere mundane repetition but adding to it like the examples she's gave take away the habit. Hope this helps.
My boyfriend knows how to make special moments.. I told him this the other day and he lit UP!! He finds ways to take moments just for me and him like stealing a kiss or pulling me alway from a group just for something private for us too!! And I told him I noticed that and I really loved that about him. And the response was special I can tell it touched his heart.
I just hapoened upon your channel. No, I ought to probably say that Holy Spirit led me to you.
Wow. Amen and truth, for sure. Thank you and God bless
Subscribed!
Yes, me too. And, all of her messages are just what I need to hear. New Subbie!
I actually found this video really helpful. Thank you! I appreciate your solution to something that is easily overlooked but could make a HUGE difference.
This was helpful. I loved the word sister. Thank you.
I preach this same premise! A man, if they had to choose, would always choose respect over love and a woman, vice versa. Of course, we each want and desire BOTH, but if forced to choose one...
This was so good. I just shared this video. I'm going to put this into practice, now. And that flower story was funny! 😂
Glad to hear you're going to put it into practice. Let me know what happens.
I know right! It's hilarious :) Thank you!
Excellent relationship advice! Thank you very much ❤
I gave a guy flowers 💐 in my early 20s too because that’s what I wanted
Thank you soooo much for sharing and taking the time to be completely genuine in this process! This is extremely valuable as I am in a relationship with someone who is 5 years my junior. It's very healthy to attempt change emotionally to a better you! God bless your endeavor!
she is so inspiring