Just had a Skype session with you it truly was amazing thank you and anyone thinking about doing one just do it he will open you eyes to things so and thank you
What sucks is knowing you’ve grown as a person and learned so much about attachment and relationships that you realize how the relationship could have worked but they’ll never see that. They’ll think it’s easier to start over regardless of the great bond we had.
I agree. You can’t get apples from an orange tree. No contact can only work if there is a transformative change. One can never go back knowing is more of the same
I could have written your comment myself, it describes my very situation. I/we had no idea how to manage the relationship, a lot of denial from myself towards attunment and attachment clash. I think I’ve played my hand as well as I could in the after math though. My partner even told me early in the relationship that she enters secure and as soon as things become uncomfortable she swings towards avoidant behaviours, even though I was making all the right moves, saying the right things and expressing healthy change she was already half way out the door. “I have never experienced true love and have never loved or been loved as I have with you” as she left🤷♂️ this is her typical pattern due to serial toxic partners.. but, there is still a glimmer of hope. Life is too short not to fight for someone rare and special when they float into your life. I’m basically now a walking relationship text book😅
My ex told me after a year of no contact that he had thought about me A LOT during that year. Shocking to say the least when you think they didn't care at all and it's like they turned off a switch LOL! And he stalked me on social media too, he even said the curiosity got the better of him and wanted to see what I was up to. I've had all exes come back except 1 out of my life. They always will most likely come back, especially if you move on (even though it's soo hard) and you work on yourself!
I realize after 1 year of No Contact (actually Radio Silence) that if my ex wanted to contact me, he would do it. I know him, and when he wants something, he pursues it. It was difficult for me to realize it, but he doesn't want me. However, just because he doesn't want me and I don't want to be with someone who doesn't see my value. Just because he doesn't see my value, that doesn't mean i am not valuable to someone else.
When I met with my ex the other day I finally got my closure. I suggested we work on it together and she said she didn't know if she wanted to be with me or knows if she ever will. And that was clear to me for now its a no. I am so relieved and almost set free because for 6 months all I had to go off of was "you need to act like we aren't getting back together" yes it might be simple for some but for me it was impossible for me. But now I know that no matter how long you've been together, you cant force someone to stay, if they give up on you and are not willing to work it out thats on them not you.
This is literally the 100th time I watch this video. Our anniversary would've been last Sat and it's hitting hard as a buzzsaw to my body - sheer agony inside while outside o try to maintain the greatest reserve and stoicism to everyone around. If I do have a soul or spirit within, it's literally screaming on fire, bound fast, with no hope for extinguishment.
God!! I feel your pain. Stay strong dear ❤️.. remember no contact is not only a way to get them to miss you but also a great opportunity to work on yourself...I wish you the best in life.. take care
This was one of the hardest things i learned to do; sticking to the silence. Definitely had to work on this in the past but it definitely kept me safe. While she reached out a few times I respectfully kept it short n’ straight to the point but stopped the initial contact like you always talk about Craig. Anyways, love you all! All of you have made a major impact on my dating life thank you! I can’t express that enough!
There’s also a difference between silence, being ignored and going thru issues that you don’t want to talk .. I believe you should know the difference wether it’s toxic or just something someone needs space for..
I guess you value people more if they are gone. It gives time to reflect and grow. Either the boundary issue is fixed or you move on. Sometimes it’s a draw. Either there is negotiation or there is not. If not, you respected yourself and own long term happiness. If they don’t want to compromise, I guess you weren’t as important to them, and they’re a waste of your life and time.
11 months … I really dont care anymore just accepted that i like her and we broke up. I know that i did my best on the relationship. I feel that im improving everyday. And im sure that someday we will talk again.. she is going to reach out , they always do… just let them live a while… love is not found anywhere . They lost someone who loved them not you. So keep going, give your love to another person as amazing as she was and even better. Im sure someday , they will reach out if you were i good person.
I met up with Craig a year ago, he’s a smart intense guy. I did no contact and was 100 convinced things were over… worked on myself and therapy. Desperately wanting someone back shows something is wrong with YOU. So about 1 year no contact we matched on a dating site and are going to see each other. No expectations … friends is cool too but people who you feel connected to almost always reconnect
RIP Margaret…I sure hope this works. It’s been 3 weeks since the woman I love said she needs space. It’s terrifying now and I’m so sad. I keep fighting the urge to reach out. It’s awful
Hey man, hope you are still staying strong! Don’t forget that feeling the whooole circle of emotions associated with grief is an important process of healing. May Margaret’s wisdom shine on into your lives
Craig, thank you so much for helping us all navigate this extremely hurtful and confusing time. I love that you give us so much free content out here, for those who cannot afford to do a coaching session. You're doing the lords work my friend. Special thanks to Margaret and Vicky too, you all are amazing!
2 months since BU/NC! Really feeling great today. Working so hard on myself every day.. but is she? i doubt it, i feel like i’ve already outgrown her, physically and mentally. Do the work guys!!!
These videos are a life saver for me, especially at this time of heartbreak. Right now I'm in day three of nc,it's sooooo difficult! Now and then I have these visions of him with her,what are they doing,where is he,I see them together (I think they live together).But I'm catching up on these videos for my support not to text,call ,thank all of you,and God bless all of us who suffer a broken heart.
I’ve stayed silent for over 12 months after a breakup of and on and off situationship for 10 years. My ex had a heart bypass and I was 100% there for him in every way, he stayed with me and I looked after him and once he went home to his house, he basically ghosted me! I showed him love, patience and care and he was just completely complaining about everything to me and venting things about his life and issues and boom, nothing. He paid me back money he owed me and I never heard from him again! I know nothing about him and he’s not on social media. I’m 55 and he’s 64. I think he may be with someone else!
Very, very good video. Thank you guys. Some men, they won't learn until it becomes permanent. One time, no contact will be forever. Everyone has a limit.
@@JamieZarrr I mean that, some people that we love will only learn the value of you when you break the cycle. Going no contact works, if your connection was good, but that cycle sometimes enables them to take you for granted because they think that you will always be there. Depending on what causes the break up, it may be the last time, where you are doing no contact not just to get them back, and not just to improve yourself but finally to let go and never look back. The point when you are fed up and moving on with no thought of taking them back. The Permanent No Contact, the "there is no more us or cycle" no contact. I hope that I explained what I meant. If you searched my comments here, over time, I did that cycle and it works...but, I am done. I am talking to someone new, taking things slow and still love coach Craig because he is phenomenal and the info still helps even with my new interest, who has a secure attachment. My ex had an avoidant attachment. And me, I went from anxious attachment to secure attachment over time and watching these videos, now there is a secure/secure dynamic and it feels right.🥂💯
I moved on from my ex and met someone more suited to me. I'm doing the work books and for me learning to make your partner feel safe, secure and heard is where I have went wrong with the ex. I won't make the dame mistakes with the woman I'm now dating.
Great timing as usual I’m facing this situation right now I’m basically over my long dragged out LDR crazy journey I just can’t be bothered chasing I’m done ✅
My ex never reached out - she claimed to love me so much and I was her soulmate .. and yet I was just discarded cruelly. I had many months watching and trying to apply these techniques .. never worked for me - just prolonged my pain, living in hope
Been about 70 days NC. Never begged or pleaded.. she monkey branched to a new guy (essentially cheated and left me for someone else). It was a 2 1/2 year relationship of me doing everything I could to make her happy but it just wasn’t enough. Girl is a selfish narcissist that discarded me once she felt like she got everything out of me. No contact or not, I don’t believe she gives a crap about me and if we ever talk again. If she ever reaches out, it’s to fulfill her own needs not because she misses me. So damn hurtful but I should be happy we never got married or had kids
@@sloanmagnum5009 Yup not waiting for her to come around again or anything. I deserve far better. Just crazy how some people can use you and discard without a care in the world. Without a doubt learned some valuable lessons from this one
I'm sick and tired of these thoughts and hopes to be with her again, I just wanna get over her and move on. I feel like it's hopeless even tho it was a 4 year relationship of perfect, only ended because she got overwhelmed with life. I chased abit and that pissed her off. I feel so hopeless and I just wanna get over it
Thank you for the continued support Coach! I almost broke a couple times recently but I'm holding out hope that my silence is having an effect. We've been in NC for 8 months now but if it will be it will be.
So true! I decided to not reach out to my Ex who deleted my number this week after 1 Year of No Contact (after he reached out after 4 Months). It still hurts because there was no reason for deleting my number i think, but it is what it is...I don't know if he did it to get a reaction from me or if he is just too hurt. I'm hitting the gym everyday and that helps me immensely. I also started therapy a few months back and it helps me so much. I still have hope that we will end up together, but not if he can't even reach out.
@@Crm.xcviii No, I know that. I never reached out to him (and we have been in this situation twice before),because I know it has to come from him and everytime I thought he learned something or realized that leaving doesn't make him happier...but I'm lost to find reasons why he keeps doing that.
You 3 coaches were my best friends during my tough break up period, so a huge Thank you first!, my ex reached out to me after 1 month of break up to say me Happy birthday, then he keep reaching out like 1 month later , then 3 weeks later, and it is like he appears saying something and disappears again and I answered him every time he texted me, and I only reached out one time, now his birthday is coming ! Should I reach out to him and say HBD or not?
@@cherryt1790 Oh he kept reaching out to me texting talking about everything even long messages, sending me his pictures, mems, funny videos, news, watching my stories until 6 months after break up.. but he never asked me to go out to see me, he never asked me How are you? I didn't feel that maybe I should ask him, instead I showed him enough respect with no madness by giving him space that if he wants to ask, but he didn't! so in time, I felt he is not my man if he was he should have been much brave and proud to keep me in his life instead of this shallow behavior...after tough months that I was getting healed I could feel like he is really getting hit by the break up now! Then it was me who moved on, I still have feeling for him but it doesn not hurting me anymore, all these great coaches helped me A LOT! I appreciate all of them who I was following. I am so much better now mentally and I feel, my intuition tells me he is not good to be honest. I wish peace for all broken hearts!
60 days today no contact, not a peep from my ghosting ex girlfriend. Although she's reached out twice to my aunt ( her favorite family member of mine) to chat and wished a close friend of the family happy Birthday, yet I get nothing. This all makes it hurt worse.....
well my toxic ex reached out to me he day after this night i was headed home with my friend and i told my friend i have a weird gut feeling that i was gonna hear from her and sure enough literally the next day while i was showering getting ready for work. she texted me out of nowhere and of course it didnt make any sense to me she said "Hey" then sent me a video of her reading my old love letters i wrote after the first time we broke up tryna win her back. and then she said hey its your ex lexie I just wanted to show you when i made this for her. (talking about the love letters). I care about her I always probably will but not like i used too im still attracted to her i think but idk litteraly just the way she treats me turned me off alot after the last time we hung out... it wasnt good. Im not really obsessing over her no more or wondering why she texted me but i just wanted to let people know that if you focus on yourself and gain your confidence back and stop reaching out to them they may reach out. might not get back together but. honestly you deserve better. even if u do still care about them gotta learn to let them go. Oh she reached out to me a couple weeks ago i think idk ive been too focused on my new job and my music and making new friends with my coworkers! Also side note not to be inappropriate but coach Victoria is really pretty and seems alot more comfortable coaching with you guys!
Hey just recently had a session with Margaret, wanted to say thank you! Can you guys make a video about if you ex has reached out to you every two weeks or so since they broke up with you? I have been sticking to no contact and have never been the person to reach out, but he contacts me every couple weeks in a mediocre way, either asking how im doing or just about our mutual responsibilities with our dog , but it never leads to anything. He will often send me a text, ill reply, then he ghosts me again... Should i stop answering his texts? I know thats usually not what you should do but I fear he's not getting the full affect of no contact because he keeps contacting me and I keep answering.
I definitely have attachment issues. 48 years old but dad left the country when I was 4yrs old. He was an alcoholic. I know I have attachment issues because I take break ups extremely hard. Ex broke up with me 7 1/2 months ago. I messed up no contact like 3 time during that time. But finally I went two months without any text and he text me “hi” not sure what he wants from me.
"Usually it takes an ex four months before they really start to get hit hard by [missing you]. Three or four." (8:19) This is so reassuring to me in the face of too many other "gurus" promising to "get your ex back in 30 days" badabing-badaboom. Each day of silence helps me de-obsess and detoxify some more but boy, at 5 and a half weeks (which feels like longer) I'm still not ready to be cool and "over them" in my bearing at all. No words are good words. I've been actively hoping she WON'T get in touch as I go slowly unthreading my love for her from my heart.
So I’ve been doing no contact and it’s been two weeks, however he did reach out yesterday about some financial loose ends we had to take care of. I’m now going back into no contact since nothing further came of the conversation. Is it possible for him to still come back around? It just felt so final 😞 Especially because the day after the break up I tried to reconcile and he ignored me.
I ended it after he disrespected and lied to me again. Way back in March 2021. But I am the one that was and still am a wreck. I still reached out to him. I didn't want him back, I wanted to resolve what went wrong to try to salvage a friendship. I wanted to know what I did to cause the problems in the relationship. But he didn't want to explain or talk through it. So I finally decided this past May I had to be strong enough to go no contact. It has been so hard. I miss him everyday. I don't cry as much as I used to but I certainly struggle because "what did I do wrong to deserve the treatment he gave me". He got comfortable with lying to me, making major decisions without me. He stopped paying bills. He stopped helping around the house and the yard. Home repairs were neglected. Hell I was neglected. I talked to him every few months to find out what was going on and he would imply nothing was wrong and he wouldn't make any effort to fix it. At the end he said "I know my actions show that I don't want to be here, but I really do". But even after that statement, he was hurtful and disrespectful to me. This was like this for 5yrs or more. I just don't know when I will feel better. I loved him more than anyone ever. I want to stop thinking about him because I know he doesn't care about me anymore now than he did when we were together.
Around the 5:30 mark you said "It makes you look centered, you have control of your emotion, like you don't have to chase them." Which makes you look weak and insecure. And the ladies said yep ????
@@CoachCraigKennethYes I should have finished my thought. So my question is why would being centered, and having control of your emotions make you look weak and insecure? That doesn't really make sense. Chasing and being emotionally unstable is what makes someone look weak.
Hi coach Craig, Margaret and Victoria! I was wondering if you guys can make a video about breaking up a second time and if NC works again or how to go about it? And what are the chances of getting back together after breaking up twice? Thanks!
What if a ex is afraid to reach out? Like if the breakup was bad? And how do the different attachments styles react to break ups? Example my fearful avoidant, I suspect is afraid to reach out because the breakup did not end well and some ugly things were said. I'm also curious what if you were the dumper and while you loved that person, you couldn't stay because of the way you were being treated?
Today I seen my ex at a distance at the same place as me I left and then a couple of hours later she rang me I didn't have her number as I deleted it but rang it back and she said why didn't you talk to me I said you were sat with Other people so I didn't want to intrude then that was end of conversation
I finally reached out to my ex after about 8 years of no contact. Yes i know it was foolish to wait so long. Wish i found this channel earlier in life. Anyways, she didnt respond or even put me on read and i didnt expect her to as shes living with her current bf at his parents apartment. But now all of a sudden her sister who i have zero mutual friends with is at the very top of "people you may know" on facebook. And when i click on mutual friends of ours facebook page, her close friends are almost always the first 5 or 6. I dont know if this is coincidence, but im hoping it's a sign of good things to come. I wouldnt hesitate to let her move in my apartment lol God only knows how much i miss this girl
What about if they drop off some old stuff of mine outside my house. No warning or asking or anything. Should I text saying thank you. I'm currently 7 weeks no contact. Thanks for all the videos it has really helped me push myself more than I ever have.
What if the x that broke up with me after almost 2 years of me picking him up when he was almost dead because of his alcoholism and nobody after 30 years of him being in this it makes no sense at all
Coach, what if i told her after some time, that i don't want her to contact me never again? No contact was too much for me, i care for her but it's too much.
I’m around 10 weeks into no contact with a long distance avoidance behaviour ex. Can you help me here please? I’ve seen on a recent video this was discussed as being very difficult.
@@nextspectra she never reached out. Which makes me sad but at the same time she did me a favour. If she didn’t want to message me, it wasn’t right for us. I hope you feel better soon. Working on myself and starting new hobbies really helped. I added value to my life and have met new people, earn more money at work, and I’m all around a better person. All cliche but trust the fact time will help. One day at a time! They are harder some days and easier others. Do I miss her? Absolutely. I care deeply for her and love her in some ways but I’m not in love with her. Wish them happiness and move on
What about if their birthday is coming up.....and the plan was to celebrate together? Do you send an email, card or keep silent? This break-up happen 1st days ago.
i actually had the same dilemma. just keep silent. if they left, they don't get an email, card or your time. save all of that for someone who chooses you.
I have been silent, but he is with someone else, doesn’t that make a difference? I feel he’s totally moved on. Silence may not effect him in this situation ?!
Easier said then done, he is with a rebound. Your comment did not make me feel any better. We were together 5 yrs. I would like to have a small amount of hope .
@@sloanmagnum5009 I’m not sure where you received your PHD but you’ve made multiple, negative and biased comments here today. You are here so clearly you need help and advice as well. Good luck on your journey♥️
I’m not waiting around, just listening to Craig’s advice on here on rebounds and other info. You have no idea what our relationship was. It helps me to watch these videos. Don’t understand your negativity towards me, someone u don’t even know! PHD?! What are u talking about?!! This is supposed to be a respectful place to comment. I was hoping Craig would answer back. I no longer feel safe commenting here. Really wish I hadn’t .
Just had a Skype session with you it truly was amazing thank you and anyone thinking about doing one just do it he will open you eyes to things so and thank you
Thank u Steven! Glad I could help!
What sucks is knowing you’ve grown as a person and learned so much about attachment and relationships that you realize how the relationship could have worked but they’ll never see that. They’ll think it’s easier to start over regardless of the great bond we had.
So true, those type of people just don’t see the big picture. Or value time and effort and work. Long term not someone you want anyway
I agree. You can’t get apples from an orange tree. No contact can only work if there is a transformative change. One can never go back knowing is more of the same
I totally agree with you
I could have written your comment myself, it describes my very situation. I/we had no idea how to manage the relationship, a lot of denial from myself towards attunment and attachment clash.
I think I’ve played my hand as well as I could in the after math though. My partner even told me early in the relationship that she enters secure and as soon as things become uncomfortable she swings towards avoidant behaviours, even though I was making all the right moves, saying the right things and expressing healthy change she was already half way out the door. “I have never experienced true love and have never loved or been loved as I have with you” as she left🤷♂️ this is her typical pattern due to serial toxic partners.. but, there is still a glimmer of hope. Life is too short not to fight for someone rare and special when they float into your life.
I’m basically now a walking relationship text book😅
One of the realest best comments I’ve ever read
These three were "The Holy Three" of relationship angels 😇 for us. Now one of them is a real angel.😢 We miss Margaret so much.❤
My ex told me after a year of no contact that he had thought about me A LOT during that year. Shocking to say the least when you think they didn't care at all and it's like they turned off a switch LOL! And he stalked me on social media too, he even said the curiosity got the better of him and wanted to see what I was up to. I've had all exes come back except 1 out of my life. They always will most likely come back, especially if you move on (even though it's soo hard) and you work on yourself!
I wish ;)
This is what I hope happens 🤞🏻 still going strong thanks for this motivational story
Men will nearly always come back, women don't.
@@timothymurray1236 fight the urge and move on
@@timothymurray1236 because mostly women wants being chased even though they initiated the break up
"Silence is also a boundary" 👍
I realize after 1 year of No Contact (actually Radio Silence) that if my ex wanted to contact me, he would do it. I know him, and when he wants something, he pursues it. It was difficult for me to realize it, but he doesn't want me. However, just because he doesn't want me and I don't want to be with someone who doesn't see my value. Just because he doesn't see my value, that doesn't mean i am not valuable to someone else.
Sure!
who broke up first?
@@kagamitaiga9167 He brought it up.
Did your ex ever reach out?
@kagamitaiga9167 I apologize, but I forgot to reply. He broke up with me
I love that " a consequence of their decision"
exactly
When I met with my ex the other day I finally got my closure. I suggested we work on it together and she said she didn't know if she wanted to be with me or knows if she ever will. And that was clear to me for now its a no. I am so relieved and almost set free because for 6 months all I had to go off of was "you need to act like we aren't getting back together" yes it might be simple for some but for me it was impossible for me. But now I know that no matter how long you've been together, you cant force someone to stay, if they give up on you and are not willing to work it out thats on them not you.
Hey, I’m just curious if she ever changed her mind or did contact you again after that? God bless you
This is literally the 100th time I watch this video. Our anniversary would've been last Sat and it's hitting hard as a buzzsaw to my body - sheer agony inside while outside o try to maintain the greatest reserve and stoicism to everyone around. If I do have a soul or spirit within, it's literally screaming on fire, bound fast, with no hope for extinguishment.
God!! I feel your pain. Stay strong dear ❤️.. remember no contact is not only a way to get them to miss you but also a great opportunity to work on yourself...I wish you the best in life.. take care
You are not alone ❤
Silence, is your superpower.
This was one of the hardest things i learned to do; sticking to the silence. Definitely had to work on this in the past but it definitely kept me safe. While she reached out a few times I respectfully kept it short n’ straight to the point but stopped the initial contact like you always talk about Craig. Anyways, love you all! All of you have made a major impact on my dating life thank you! I can’t express that enough!
This content is super motivating when the silence is hard ❤
There’s also a difference between silence, being ignored and going thru issues that you don’t want to talk .. I believe you should know the difference wether it’s toxic or just something someone needs space for..
I guess you value people more if they are gone. It gives time to reflect and grow. Either the boundary issue is fixed or you move on. Sometimes it’s a draw. Either there is negotiation or there is not. If not, you respected yourself and own long term happiness. If they don’t want to compromise, I guess you weren’t as important to them, and they’re a waste of your life and time.
🙌🏻
I did the healthy thing to walk away, but I miss him... I miss so much 😥.
11 months … I really dont care anymore just accepted that i like her and we broke up. I know that i did my best on the relationship. I feel that im improving everyday. And im sure that someday we will talk again.. she is going to reach out , they always do… just let them live a while… love is not found anywhere . They lost someone who loved them not you. So keep going, give your love to another person as amazing as she was and even better. Im sure someday , they will reach out if you were i good person.
I met up with Craig a year ago, he’s a smart intense guy. I did no contact and was 100 convinced things were over… worked on myself and therapy. Desperately wanting someone back shows something is wrong with YOU. So about 1 year no contact we matched on a dating site and are going to see each other. No expectations … friends is cool too but people who you feel connected to almost always reconnect
I'm so excited to read your comment. I hope the meet up went well and you guys are having a new beginning by now. Good luck!
RIP Margaret…I sure hope this works. It’s been 3 weeks since the woman I love said she needs space. It’s terrifying now and I’m so sad. I keep fighting the urge to reach out. It’s awful
Hey man, hope you are still staying strong! Don’t forget that feeling the whooole circle of emotions associated with grief is an important process of healing.
May Margaret’s wisdom shine on into your lives
Update?
I’m at the 2.5 week mark and it’s killing me 🥲
@@JuliaTaylorSoprano keep strong I’m only on day 4 …it’s tough but I run everyday to stay busy
@@JuliaTaylorSoprano what’s crazy is that her name is Julieta ..lol so when I saw your name I just smiled take care of yourself
5:40 - 6:02 My dear ex, my boundaries are set . Sorry for your loss!
Craig, thank you so much for helping us all navigate this extremely hurtful and confusing time. I love that you give us so much free content out here, for those who cannot afford to do a coaching session. You're doing the lords work my friend. Special thanks to Margaret and Vicky too, you all are amazing!
We are happy to help! Liking videos, subscribing, watching the ads, sharing videos with friends and family are all ways you can support us back! 🙌
@@CoachCraigKenneth done, done, done and done my friend! ✅
2 months since BU/NC! Really feeling great today. Working so hard on myself every day.. but is she? i doubt it, i feel like i’ve already outgrown her, physically and mentally. Do the work guys!!!
they dont grow cuz theyre incapable of accountability
have they reached out since?
These videos are a life saver for me, especially at this time of heartbreak. Right now I'm in day three of nc,it's sooooo difficult! Now and then I have these visions of him with her,what are they doing,where is he,I see them together (I think they live together).But I'm catching up on these videos for my support not to text,call ,thank all of you,and God bless all of us who suffer a broken heart.
Hi, just curious… did he ever come back?
2:17 - 3:08 Victoria summing up the hardest part to understand about no contact while you're going through it.
Solid advice until the end of time. Boundaries are important.
I love the creative healing course, almost half way through! 😍
Please share your experience for everyone!
Congratulations Victoria on your hard work. I'm happy to hear your coaching now.
I’ve stayed silent for over 12 months after a breakup of and on and off situationship for 10 years. My ex had a heart bypass and I was 100% there for him in every way, he stayed with me and I looked after him and once he went home to his house, he basically ghosted me! I showed him love, patience and care and he was just completely complaining about everything to me and venting things about his life and issues and boom, nothing. He paid me back money he owed me and I never heard from him again! I know nothing about him and he’s not on social media. I’m 55 and he’s 64. I think he may be with someone else!
He used you. Took advantage of your good nature.
Very, very good video. Thank you guys. Some men, they won't learn until it becomes permanent. One time, no contact will be forever. Everyone has a limit.
@@JamieZarrr I mean that, some people that we love will only learn the value of you when you break the cycle. Going no contact works, if your connection was good, but that cycle sometimes enables them to take you for granted because they think that you will always be there. Depending on what causes the break up, it may be the last time, where you are doing no contact not just to get them back, and not just to improve yourself but finally to let go and never look back. The point when you are fed up and moving on with no thought of taking them back. The Permanent No Contact, the "there is no more us or cycle" no contact. I hope that I explained what I meant. If you searched my comments here, over time, I did that cycle and it works...but, I am done. I am talking to someone new, taking things slow and still love coach Craig because he is phenomenal and the info still helps even with my new interest, who has a secure attachment. My ex had an avoidant attachment. And me, I went from anxious attachment to secure attachment over time and watching these videos, now there is a secure/secure dynamic and it feels right.🥂💯
I moved on from my ex and met someone more suited to me. I'm doing the work books and for me learning to make your partner feel safe, secure and heard is where I have went wrong with the ex. I won't make the dame mistakes with the woman I'm now dating.
Which workbooks were those specific ones . I’ve had the same issue
Thanks, Craig, Victoria and Margaret 😊💕 I binge watch your videos and listen to your podcasts. They calm me down
❤️💪
@@CoachCraigKenneth I think my ex is also using no contact on me what shouldi do the anxiety is too much
Not only am I getting the best advice, I get to enjoy you guys looking lovely, matching and smart 🙂.
🙌
Do The Knowledge Workbooks or Creative Healing Course during that silence and you will TRULY blow your ex away! 30 minutes a day! 💪 🙌
Great timing as usual
I’m facing this situation right now
I’m basically over my long dragged out LDR crazy journey
I just can’t be bothered chasing
I’m done ✅
Same
My ex never reached out - she claimed to love me so much and I was her soulmate .. and yet I was just discarded cruelly.
I had many months watching and trying to apply these techniques .. never worked for me - just prolonged my pain, living in hope
same im on over a year of nc and still want her to reach out...
Try manifesting techniques and let go focus on yourself and live!
Been about 70 days NC. Never begged or pleaded.. she monkey branched to a new guy (essentially cheated and left me for someone else). It was a 2 1/2 year relationship of me doing everything I could to make her happy but it just wasn’t enough. Girl is a selfish narcissist that discarded me once she felt like she got everything out of me. No contact or not, I don’t believe she gives a crap about me and if we ever talk again. If she ever reaches out, it’s to fulfill her own needs not because she misses me. So damn hurtful but I should be happy we never got married or had kids
@@sloanmagnum5009 Yup not waiting for her to come around again or anything. I deserve far better. Just crazy how some people can use you and discard without a care in the world. Without a doubt learned some valuable lessons from this one
I'm sick and tired of these thoughts and hopes to be with her again, I just wanna get over her and move on. I feel like it's hopeless even tho it was a 4 year relationship of perfect, only ended because she got overwhelmed with life. I chased abit and that pissed her off. I feel so hopeless and I just wanna get over it
I decided that never mix up with those people who are living far away and long distance .
Shes with a new man and reached out 2 weeks ago to come see me the next night. Never heard from her since. Thanks for the content and all you do.
All my best thoughts to you Margaret! ♥
This was great. You guys get down to the point. I appreciate all the knowledge. Thank you
I love the time stamps, great video as always.
Thank you for the continued support Coach! I almost broke a couple times recently but I'm holding out hope that my silence is having an effect. We've been in NC for 8 months now but if it will be it will be.
Great video. You know its serious when the trio is there haha
Watched this twice it was so perfectly timed
I’m gonna miss coach Margaret ❤
Me too
yeah, he sounded kinda freaked out when i messaged that i wasn't going to forward emails anymore
My ex tried to use me as an emotional crutch after the breakup, I had to set my NC boundaries which is super unfair on the dumpee
Thank you! So grateful for this video!
So true! I decided to not reach out to my Ex who deleted my number this week after 1 Year of No Contact (after he reached out after 4 Months). It still hurts because there was no reason for deleting my number i think, but it is what it is...I don't know if he did it to get a reaction from me or if he is just too hurt. I'm hitting the gym everyday and that helps me immensely. I also started therapy a few months back and it helps me so much. I still have hope that we will end up together, but not if he can't even reach out.
Did you reach out the first time because the whole point of no contact is not to ignore them
@@Crm.xcviii No, I know that. I never reached out to him (and we have been in this situation twice before),because I know it has to come from him and everytime I thought he learned something or realized that leaving doesn't make him happier...but I'm lost to find reasons why he keeps doing that.
@@kathia.4640 but he’s the one that initiate the break up?
I really love you all.I really appreciate you all.Thank You all 💓💓💓.I really value you all.
WOW... SO ON POINT
We're talking again after 69 days of NCR. She said she misses me.
That's awesome, wish ye the best
Nice 👌
Any update after she came back? Did everything go well?
You 3 coaches were my best friends during my tough break up period, so a huge Thank you first!, my ex reached out to me after 1 month of break up to say me Happy birthday, then he keep reaching out like 1 month later , then 3 weeks later, and it is like he appears saying something and disappears again and I answered him every time he texted me, and I only reached out one time, now his birthday is coming ! Should I reach out to him and say HBD or not?
If he broke up with u he has to do 100 percent calling textin and pursueing
Any updates?
@@cherryt1790 Oh he kept reaching out to me texting talking about everything even long messages, sending me his pictures, mems, funny videos, news, watching my stories until 6 months after break up.. but he never asked me to go out to see me, he never asked me How are you? I didn't feel that maybe I should ask him, instead I showed him enough respect with no madness by giving him space that if he wants to ask, but he didn't!
so in time, I felt he is not my man if he was he should have been much brave and proud to keep me in his life instead of this shallow behavior...after tough months that I was getting healed I could feel like he is really getting hit by the break up now! Then it was me who moved on, I still have feeling for him but it doesn not hurting me anymore, all these great coaches helped me A LOT! I appreciate all of them who I was following. I am so much better now mentally and I feel, my intuition tells me he is not good to be honest. I wish peace for all broken hearts!
timing is key
Love this one!
60 days today no contact, not a peep from my ghosting ex girlfriend. Although she's reached out twice to my aunt ( her favorite family member of mine) to chat and wished a close friend of the family happy Birthday, yet I get nothing. This all makes it hurt worse.....
just cruelty by design
10:20 Margaret: have you moved on? I laughed so hard 😂
well my toxic ex reached out to me he day after this night i was headed home with my friend and i told my friend i have a weird gut feeling that i was gonna hear from her and sure enough literally the next day while i was showering getting ready for work. she texted me out of nowhere and of course it didnt make any sense to me she said "Hey" then sent me a video of her reading my old love letters i wrote after the first time we broke up tryna win her back. and then she said hey its your ex lexie I just wanted to show you when i made this for her. (talking about the love letters). I care about her I always probably will but not like i used too im still attracted to her i think but idk litteraly just the way she treats me turned me off alot after the last time we hung out... it wasnt good. Im not really obsessing over her no more or wondering why she texted me but i just wanted to let people know that if you focus on yourself and gain your confidence back and stop reaching out to them they may reach out. might not get back together but. honestly you deserve better. even if u do still care about them gotta learn to let them go. Oh she reached out to me a couple weeks ago i think idk ive been too focused on my new job and my music and making new friends with my coworkers! Also side note not to be inappropriate but coach Victoria is really pretty and seems alot more comfortable coaching with you guys!
Hey just recently had a session with Margaret, wanted to say thank you! Can you guys make a video about if you ex has reached out to you every two weeks or so since they broke up with you? I have been sticking to no contact and have never been the person to reach out, but he contacts me every couple weeks in a mediocre way, either asking how im doing or just about our mutual responsibilities with our dog , but it never leads to anything. He will often send me a text, ill reply, then he ghosts me again... Should i stop answering his texts? I know thats usually not what you should do but I fear he's not getting the full affect of no contact because he keeps contacting me and I keep answering.
Look up breadcrumbing.
He’s using the texts to ease his anxieties.. Don’t help him by answering
I definitely have attachment issues. 48 years old but dad left the country when I was 4yrs old. He was an alcoholic. I know I have attachment issues because I take break ups extremely hard. Ex broke up with me 7 1/2 months ago. I messed up no contact like 3 time during that time. But finally I went two months without any text and he text me “hi” not sure what he wants from me.
Let him elaborate, that's too low effort and could be a bait to see if your respond and then he's gone and you'll feel awful.
Broke up 5 months ago haven’t spoken in 3 months
My boyfriend is giving me the silent treatment over something really small. It’s been a week now and he hasn’t reached out
Move on
"Usually it takes an ex four months before they really start to get hit hard by [missing you]. Three or four." (8:19) This is so reassuring to me in the face of too many other "gurus" promising to "get your ex back in 30 days" badabing-badaboom. Each day of silence helps me de-obsess and detoxify some more but boy, at 5 and a half weeks (which feels like longer) I'm still not ready to be cool and "over them" in my bearing at all. No words are good words. I've been actively hoping she WON'T get in touch as I go slowly unthreading my love for her from my heart.
Excellent..listen again!
Does no silence work when they are in a rebound situation. Cause I watched your 9 signs and he is still showing anger to me.
So I’ve been doing no contact and it’s been two weeks, however he did reach out yesterday about some financial loose ends we had to take care of. I’m now going back into no contact since nothing further came of the conversation. Is it possible for him to still come back around? It just felt so final 😞 Especially because the day after the break up I tried to reconcile and he ignored me.
I ended it after he disrespected and lied to me again. Way back in March 2021. But I am the one that was and still am a wreck. I still reached out to him. I didn't want him back, I wanted to resolve what went wrong to try to salvage a friendship. I wanted to know what I did to cause the problems in the relationship. But he didn't want to explain or talk through it. So I finally decided this past May I had to be strong enough to go no contact. It has been so hard. I miss him everyday. I don't cry as much as I used to but I certainly struggle because "what did I do wrong to deserve the treatment he gave me". He got comfortable with lying to me, making major decisions without me. He stopped paying bills. He stopped helping around the house and the yard. Home repairs were neglected. Hell I was neglected. I talked to him every few months to find out what was going on and he would imply nothing was wrong and he wouldn't make any effort to fix it. At the end he said "I know my actions show that I don't want to be here, but I really do". But even after that statement, he was hurtful and disrespectful to me. This was like this for 5yrs or more. I just don't know when I will feel better. I loved him more than anyone ever. I want to stop thinking about him because I know he doesn't care about me anymore now than he did when we were together.
Around the 5:30 mark you said "It makes you look centered, you have control of your emotion, like you don't have to chase them." Which makes you look weak and insecure. And the ladies said yep ????
What’s your point?
@@CoachCraigKennethYes I should have finished my thought. So my question is why would being centered, and having control of your emotions make you look weak and insecure? That doesn't really make sense. Chasing and being emotionally unstable is what makes someone look weak.
I’m saying that chasing them makes you look weak and insecure. My thought was… you don’t have to chase them, which makes you look weak and insecure
3 weeks of silence NC, and he texted me. They mostly all come back at some point…
What about they reach out for a favour after 1.5 years but i ignored it
Hi coach Craig, Margaret and Victoria! I was wondering if you guys can make a video about breaking up a second time and if NC works again or how to go about it? And what are the chances of getting back together after breaking up twice?
Thanks!
We have a video on it already
The silent treatment and no contact is just cruel
Silent treatment yes, no contact is the only response to someone say they don't want you
What if a ex is afraid to reach out? Like if the breakup was bad? And how do the different attachments styles react to break ups? Example my fearful avoidant, I suspect is afraid to reach out because the breakup did not end well and some ugly things were said. I'm also curious what if you were the dumper and while you loved that person, you couldn't stay because of the way you were being treated?
Today I seen my ex at a distance at the same place as me I left and then a couple of hours later she rang me I didn't have her number as I deleted it but rang it back and she said why didn't you talk to me I said you were sat with Other people so I didn't want to intrude then that was end of conversation
What about if they miss there rebound ex of three months, compared to me of 10/11 years
Ugh what if you had adhd and your life is just a mess with this craziness ? 😞
Nope… she’s gone and she’s not coming back. All good
I finally reached out to my ex after about 8 years of no contact. Yes i know it was foolish to wait so long. Wish i found this channel earlier in life. Anyways, she didnt respond or even put me on read and i didnt expect her to as shes living with her current bf at his parents apartment.
But now all of a sudden her sister who i have zero mutual friends with is at the very top of "people you may know" on facebook. And when i click on mutual friends of ours facebook page, her close friends are almost always the first 5 or 6. I dont know if this is coincidence, but im hoping it's a sign of good things to come. I wouldnt hesitate to let her move in my apartment lol God only knows how much i miss this girl
Dude...8 years..move on you have bigger issues than your ex, work on yourself get professional help
Good luck
What about if they drop off some old stuff of mine outside my house. No warning or asking or anything. Should I text saying thank you. I'm currently 7 weeks no contact. Thanks for all the videos it has really helped me push myself more than I ever have.
😂😂😂😂 can he tell me the winning lottery numbers?
@@liammason8274 funny how "He" knows all, yet needs to resort to scams on youtube.
What if the x that broke up with me after almost 2 years of me picking him up when he was almost dead because of his alcoholism and nobody after 30 years of him being in this it makes no sense at all
Coach, what if i told her after some time, that i don't want her to contact me never again? No contact was too much for me, i care for her but it's too much.
Well i hope he has moved on
He ghosted me 5 months ago so I don't think it matters to him that I leave him alone ?
I miss Margaret, and I never even met her.
Will no contact work if they instigated the break up and you agreed to do it? I even said it might be for the best we do break up.
How do y’all really know this
I’m around 10 weeks into no contact with a long distance avoidance behaviour ex. Can you help me here please? I’ve seen on a recent video this was discussed as being very difficult.
i am going through this right now. exactly what you wrote. what ended up happening?
@@nextspectra she never reached out. Which makes me sad but at the same time she did me a favour. If she didn’t want to message me, it wasn’t right for us. I hope you feel better soon. Working on myself and starting new hobbies really helped. I added value to my life and have met new people, earn more money at work, and I’m all around a better person.
All cliche but trust the fact time will help. One day at a time! They are harder some days and easier others. Do I miss her? Absolutely. I care deeply for her and love her in some ways but I’m not in love with her. Wish them happiness and move on
@@manutdmadlad thank you for replying! i'm doing all that i can do. i'm praying for healing.
What about if their birthday is coming up.....and the plan was to celebrate together? Do you send an email, card or keep silent? This break-up happen 1st days ago.
i actually had the same dilemma. just keep silent. if they left, they don't get an email, card or your time. save all of that for someone who chooses you.
☺ Thank-you Adam
But does it work even if they’re dating someone else and have a serious relationship?
Work on you
I don't want my ex back. That's why I discarded him. He's free as a 🐔 bird. Good riddance.
I have been silent, but he is with someone else, doesn’t that make a difference? I feel he’s totally moved on. Silence may not effect him in this situation ?!
Easier said then done, he is with a rebound. Your comment did not make me feel any better. We were together 5 yrs. I would like to have a small amount of hope .
@@sloanmagnum5009 I’m not sure where you received your PHD but you’ve made multiple, negative and biased comments here today. You are here so clearly you need help and advice as well. Good luck on your journey♥️
I’m not waiting around, just listening to Craig’s advice on here on rebounds and other info. You have no idea what our relationship was. It helps me to watch these videos. Don’t understand your negativity towards me, someone u don’t even know! PHD?! What are u talking about?!! This is supposed to be a respectful place to comment. I was hoping Craig would answer back. I no longer feel safe commenting here. Really wish I hadn’t .
I have actually read replies to questions from him.
@@Gmxb Exactly!!
💯
Oops 10 days ago
Coach Victoria are you dating anyone?? You should hit me up @ Micah Sandreth 😊rip Coach M 🙏