In the Spotlight Series: Johnny and Amber BPD & HPD
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- Опубликовано: 28 апр 2022
- In the Spotlight Series: Johnny and Amber BPD & HPD
Complex Borderline Personality Disorder: How Coexisting Conditions Affect Your BPD and How You Can Gain Emotional Balance. Available at:
shorturl.at/bxB05
Order The Borderline Personality Disorder Workbook by Dr. Fox:
In English: goo.gl/LQEgy1
In Spanish: tinyurl.com/55f8tz86
In Polish: tinyurl.com/npzs9f98
This trial, reportedly focuses on defamation and domestic abuse that has brought histrionic and borderline personality disorder into the spotlight, again. Let’s talk about it and what it means and what you can do to insulate yourself.
Let’s breakdown what these two disorders are:
BPD is a constellation of traits and behaviors that include
• unstable relationships
• idealization and devaluation of others - and the self
• fear of abandonment and rejection
• feelings of emptiness
• suicidal gestures and threats are often present
• inappropriate anger responses
• uncertainty about who you are and what you want to achieve
• engagement in self-damaging behaviors - could be drug abuse, spending, etc.,
• a tendency for stress-related paranoia and/or dissociative experiences.
• All of these factors adversely impact your relationships and work life.
HPD is a different, but similar, PD. This collection of traits include
• the need to be the center of attention
• interactions are often overly sexualized or provocative to gain attention
• changing emotions and what are called shallow expressions of emotions - they seem very superficial and fake, though they may not be
• physical presentation is often used to garner attention from others
• speech is often laced with attention getting phrases or words - curse words, sexual terms, or flirtatious speech
• tends to be dramatic and overly expressive in presentation with goal of getting attention
• easily influenced and suggestible - particularly by those the individual finds attractive or of high value
• relationships are often seen as more intimate and important than they actually are.
• All of these traits add to the adverse impact of your relationships and work life.
This issue and trial brings BPD and HPD into the limelight as I mentioned, but how does this impact you? Well, you’ll start to see an increase in BPD and HPD diagnoses.
Human beings are influence by the availability heuristic. The availability heuristic operates on the belief that if something can be recalled, it must be important and valid, or at least more important than other solutions which are not as readily recalled.
This is why data is so important, and testing is critical. Remember, not everyone with BPD and/or HPD are in abusive relationships, that all disorders are on a continuum/spectrum, and that treatment is possible. The media and telephone game wants you to believe the worst so you’ll tune in, read the article etc. This can be dangerous.
This is why using good judgment and assess yourself outside of this attention, headline-grabbing trial, is important. Some of this may be triggering, but it’s important to separate yourself. Unstable self-image may be causing you to be hyper focused on this trial and Amber’s experience or Johnny’s. Remember, you’re a separate entity, and you choose your path. You can make good choices to go forward and help yourself and that’s what this channel is all about.
Daniel J. Fox, Ph.D., is a licensed psychologist in Texas, international speaker, and a multi-award winning author. He has been specializing in the treatment and assessment of individuals with personality disorders for over 15 years in the state and federal prison system, universities, and in private practice. His specialty areas include personality disorders, ethics, burnout prevention, and emotional intelligence.
He has published several articles in these areas and is the author of:
Complex Borderline Personality Disorder: How Coexisting Conditions Affect Your BPD and How You Can Gain Emotional Balance. Available at:
rb.gy/hdyqyy
Antisocial, Narcissistic, and Borderline Personality Disorders: A New Conceptualization of Development, Reinforcement, Expression, and Treatment. Available at: tinyurl.com/2anv8dww
The Borderline Personality Disorder Workbook: An Integrative Program to Understand and Manage Your BPD. Available at: goo.gl/LQEgy1
Antisocial, Borderline, Narcissistic and Histrionic Workbook: Treatment Strategies for Cluster B Personality Disorders (IPBA Benjamin Franklin Gold Award Winner): goo.gl/BLRkFy
Narcissistic Personality Disorder Toolbox: 55 Practical Treatment Techniques for Clients, Their Parents & Their Children (IPBA Benjamin Franklin Silver Award Winner):: goo.gl/sZYhym
The Clinician’s Guide to Diagnosis and Treatment of Personality Disorders: goo.gl/ZAVe9v
I had been diagnosed with BPD and have let everyone know it. I did not know it was so severely stigmatized. I regret I had ever told this to anymore. This trial is hurting me and I'm sure many others with BPD.
Thank you for addressing this situation.
I agree with you 100%! I wanted to normalize and encourage mental health recovery by being opened about my BPD. I’m really hesitant about sharing now too. Stay strong! We are capable of change and recovery. We need to prove that not all individuals with BPD are Amber Heards!
Sorry about your situation. It's good to remember that this trial is also helping people who are in abusive relationships with those with BPD traits. Having a name for the set of behaviors you witness is very helpful for sanity and survival, researching and connecting with others struggling through the same types of things.
@@frankievalentine6112 people with bpd are in abusive relationships, too. They don't have to be the abusive one.
If you have Bpd guys, don't let this trial get to you, all poeple with bpd are unique at the same time,we are not all amber, and at the same time we are not shure of anything yet I don't want to judge her.
My husband has bpd and I don't compare him to anyone he is unique.
She is not you! I don't care about the expert.
Who agrees that Dr. Fox should have been called as the expert witness on Amber’s personality disorders? 🙋🏻♀️
Thanks for the compliment
Definitely that be great I'd watch Dr fox I ordered ur book the borderline personality disorder workbook can't wait till it comes in
I suspect JDs legal team wouldn’t want a balanced, compassionate view of BDP. It v much works in their favour to label AH as ‘crazy’ rather than a traumatised person. BTW not excusing any of her behaviours, I just worry how this will affect other with this diagnosis.
@@katepalmer4540 I got it recently like a couple months ago it's actually great but take you time doing it darling and stay safe xx
@@katepalmer4540 I have the workbook too. It’s really really good. But remember do it at your own pace. Don’t push through. When you feel overwhelmed by a certain section your on just stop, put the book down and come back to it. It’s a lot of self seeking and taking an honest look inside, that’s not easy to do for anyone.
I have bpd and dated someone with bpd also...the way our bpd presented to the world were so different to each other..He handled things with rage and sabotage while i handled it with sadness and hiding away. This case has not only been triggering but also damaging and has made me afraid that i am going to be painted as somebody i am not. Not everyone with bpd is the same.
Petulant BPD and Discouraged BPD sounds like a recipe for disaster tbh
Oh wow, id heard of different subtypes but never looked into it or understood it..that makes so much sense..did they mention that in the case with AH? If not then lots of others will believe theres just the one type and if you have bpd you are this one way.
two individuals who have bpd will often clash and its nothing against any of us, its just how we were raised to survive
@@hannarino23 This channel has great videos talking about the sub types if you're interested! Sadly you're right on that, ignorant people love to generalize.
If it makes you feel better, Pete Davidson, snl star has BPD and hes a pretty freakin cool guy.
Amber's actions are consistent w BPD symptoms. Her messages such as "I'm dying" "Come back" "Please don't leave" shows fear of abandonment by her favourite person. Her love letters to Johnny admitting to her fear of abandonment when Johnny visits his children shows extreme passion. Her persistency in breaking her own restraining order to meet and touch Johnny shows how Johnny was still her favourite person even after she defamed him.
That physcologist, when she was explaining the BPD condition, I felt a slight sarcasm smile on her. It seems she was enjoying the whole stigmatizing process
I would hope that the professionalism would prevent her from doing that. I appreciate your comment and have a good day.
I thought she was sarcastic during the cross examination because of feeling attacked snd not bring fooled by the lawyers, in particular Evelyn. They’re just doing their job. When she talked about the diagnosis and the meaning behind it, I thought she was completely professional.
She definitely had a sarcastis smirk all the time and this "I'm above God attitude" and "I have 15 years of experience" as her defense.
She was chosen by Johnny Depp's team to make sure her conclusions would be detriment for Amber. I believe that dinner that happened one year before the assessment she was already corrupted with bias. They had to make sure she would rule out PTSD and would through some stigmatized mental label. Apparently she's not even expert in DV cases and deals with war veterans or something like that. I think she's still stuck in the principle that only life threatening situations like war can cause PTSD.
@@Sarablueunicorn Agreed.
It's horrible calling someone with BPD crazy, especially when they are trying to get therapy for their illness. It's a daily battle and it really doesn't help with recovery.
I have BPD and I call myself crazy. Because I kind of am. You know?
But most people are a little crazy in their own way. As I learned more and more about psychology, I started to see just how damaged we ALL are. Some of us are just in denial about it.
I'm reclaiming crazy. I am crazy sometimes. That's ok. I accept that about myself.
@@thenerdgirl1 BPDs aren’t crazy
@@kariann3198 lol. Are you invalidating me?
And yeah... I'd say sometimes we're crazy. The name comes from being on the border or psychosis and neurosis. That sounds pretty "crazy." You can be offended by it if you want. I accept those parts of myself and that gives me more power over them.
@@thenerdgirl1 I’m not offended, I don’t believe people with BPD are crazy, they are sensitive. There’s a difference, even with being in “between” people with BPD can still make logical choices, and successful therapy stops the shifting sense of self which in turns stops the emotional dis-regulation, and in turn builds invisible boundaries, and self awareness is developed. People with BPD can seem crazy but they are not. They are over emotional and blur themselves with their surroundings it’s very simple to adjust and build those boundaries.
@@kariann3198 it's part of the disorder to have distorted thinking. Paranoid thinking. Combined with those extra sensitive emotions, it can lead to escalating behaviours based on faulty thinking. That's kinda "crazy."
The behaviour looks crazy to others because it's self destructive and counter intuitive to our overall goals. And it feels crazy to get that disregulated.
I'm not crazy in general. I have stable relationships and I am MOSTLY stable. Now. With a lot of learning and work. But I've definitely had moments that are fair to describe as crazy.
This media's portrayal of BPD has been triggering me pretty awful. I don't feel comfortable disclosing my illness to people much anymore
Then don’t why would you feel the need to anyway? Go to therapy and work on yourself
@@daynachapin7916 I WAS finding it helpful to be able to tell people with whom I interact with on a regular basis (think friends, family, co-workers, & well OBVIOUSLY a significant other) that because of my disorder, I have difficulty regulating my emotions, & therefore might have inappropriate emotional responses to very mundane stimuli, as a sort of fair warning for THEIR benefit, & also admittedly as a preemptive "excuse" for my behavior, in the event I DO have an inappropriate emotional response.
We experience a great deal of guilt & shame because of some of our behaviors, & those feelings can be quite detrimental to us. Those feelings can also be mitigated if there is an established backdrop of "my disorder causes me to do these things when I'm in a heightened state of emotions that later, when I've calmed down, I am appalled by."
Also, while no one should be forced to walk on eggshells, some people actually CHOOSE to stay in a relationship with a BPD, or remain friends with a BPD, or in the case of family or workplace interactions with a Borderline, which are largely unavoidable, it is VERY beneficial to these people to be aware of triggers & pitfalls that they can easily avoid with minor adjustments to their language &/or responses.
An example I've read is, say the BPD is driving too fast, the response you will get from saying "You're driving like maniac" as compared to saying "Don't you think you're going a little too fast" are going to be like night & day. I think that could be said of ANYBODY, really, but when the consequences of not being courteous in your speech is the wrath of a Borderline, people tend to be more mindful of their words, which helps me to not personalize constructive criticism, which is something we tend to do, a lot.
Or another good example (taken straight from the case here) is that the quickest way to trigger a BPD is to ignore them. Almost as bad is to tell us that our feelings are not valid (feelings are never right or wrong. They aren't facts. They're feelings. They just ARE) or inappropriate (even when they are. We'll figure that out on our own once we calm down). When Johnny would try to walk away from an argument (which I happen to think is an excellent strategy, with one minor addendum), the message Amber was receiving was that her feelings did not matter to him, that whatever she was going through wasn't worthy of discussion, that his peace & quiet was a greater priority than her pain. And this caused her reactivity to escalate. This escalation could have been avoided had Johnny made it clear to her that he was not ENDING the discussion, just POSTPONING it to a later time when both of them had time to cool off & think. Hell, it would have been worth it for him to say that HE was the one who wasn't thinking clearly, & that her issues were of SUCH importance to him that he did not want to discuss them in HIS current state of mind! Anything he could have done to disrupt the escalation would have changed the outcome greatly, but to just walk away will, in effect, put it in high gear.
So it's helpful for people who are in any kind of interpersonal relationship with a Borderline to be aware of potential triggers like that. It's such a small adjustment when the alternative is losing part of your finger!
Borderline Personality Disorder does not respond to psych meds. It requires YEARS of therapy to overcome, or even manage. It's easy for you to say "work on yourself," but does this person deserve to live in total social isolation for YEARS while they're doing that? Is it even POSSIBLE?!? No, so the next best course of action is to disclose your condition to those it is mostly likely to effect & inform them of the potential triggers & pitfalls so that they can avoid them. Now, with Amber Heard bringing do much attention in such a negative way to the disorder, the rest of us who suffer from it don't want to be judged by her behavior, or associated with the disorder that's causing it, so we're going to stop disclosing our condition to others. It's not going to make the disorder go away, or hasten our progress in overcoming it. When we DO have an inappropriate emotional response, it's going to blindside the person on the receiving end. They will not have had the opportunity to avoid it, & they are not going to understand where it's coming from. They are just going to think that we're NUTS! And maybe we are, but it's the kind of nuts that can be minimized if you understand it.
And THAT'S why we tell people our diagnosis. Or rather, why we USED TO tell people our diagnosis. I know I'm not going to share my diagnosis with anyone after this, & I'm sure many other Borderlines feel the same way. It's a devastating blow to our community. It severely limits our strategies. We'll be battling this alone now, without the support & understanding of those around us.
@@daynachapin7916 Don't mention you've got cancer. Just shut up and do your chemo.
There are reasons other than oversharing why people might mention they have a mental health problem. But something tells me that doesn't interest you very much.
@@nannettefreeman7331 Johnny has been displaying avoidant behaviors all his life. Just look on how things ended up with Kate Moss, he ended up arrested for trashing a hotel room with her inside. I believe he's so damn uncomfortable with others feelings that if he cant escape he wil end up destroying everything around, this is how he avoids becoming phsyically violent towards his partner. It only worked so long with vanessa because they had a long distance relationship with her in France raising the kids and him doing his Hollywood life.
He ghosted her for one week at a time! Isn't stonewalling and ghosting forms of abuse?
He also didn't try to descalate as people are saying he actually asked her to punch him twice because he knows she cant hurt him that badly barehanded.
And then there's the episode of him threatening to self-harm. I think this happened when Amber tried to walk away herself.
He has all the classic avoidant "personality" and his addictions are also a form of avoidance.
I'll never disclose anymore
Media makes BPD look bad. Like we're not that crazy to shit in someone's bed.
Gross.
They should've just broken up instead of continue with this crap. It's both their fault.
I'm so sad that BPD is now going to be stigmatised even more 😭😭😭 I haven't been watching the case as I also have Complex Post Traumatic Disorder so I don't want to be triggered but seeing the diagnosis plasted all over the media in such a negative way breaks my heart it makes people judge us poorly even more. I was really hoping you were going to cover this Dr Fox as it did upset me last night when I saw even more online news about basically how evil BPD is I was so sad..angry...hurt by it all Xxxxxxxx ❤❤❤
It is a shame but I hope this video adds some reality to the issue of what these disorders actually entail. Thanks
Yea I really wish mental health wasn’t so stigmatized. People don’t realize that it’s abuse, neglect, or violence in someone’s past that leads into these diagnosis’s. Humans who damage humans…It’s a natural outcome even though it isn’t good. It’s like the “infection” of unwell actions and behaviors of others of humanity rather than like a non human virus as COVID and humanity. Both things are damaging. People don’t think like this and it doesn’t help if media muddies the water. And then there are conspiracy theories about Big Pharma when it comes to medication and so forth…And people are ignorant…Many who probably need some intervention are ignorant about that themselves too, which doesn’t help since hurt people tend to hurt people…and the cycles continue.
Gemma Lee I feel the same. It is so sad that BPD is point out as a nightmare and devil.😢 I also have post traumatic disorder from my childhood that was a nightmare.
@@talilaurie I'm so sorry sorry to hear that lovely lady! Big hugs Xxxxxxxx ❤❤❤
@@gemmalee7286 Thank you so much. I am so sorry for you have been through too. 🤗🤗
Only one person knows I am BPD and it’s staying that way. The stigma is so severe.
As long as you built those invisible boundaries and stopped the shifting sense of self with your environment..
Same,
My child's godmother has BPD. I've known her more than ten years and I love her and think that she is a good person. Just because somebody like AH has that diagnosis doesn't make every one with it like AH.
@@dangerousalphabets5267 everyone with BPD is different and Heard was dating a toxic person. Depp was just as cruel to her
I’m going to stop telling people.
I am a female diagnosed with BPD as well as bipolar and I use the tools that DBT provide for me . I am also on medication . I will do anything to not hurt those around me . Having BPD does not excuse you from taking responsibility and accountability. Amber's behavior disgusts me and thus is now a fear that I have . Those who have never heard about BPD will now think of violent , manipulative person which is not what always the the case. One person with this disorder may present differently than the next. There are 9 traits according to the DSM and you need 5 out of that 9 to be diagnosed with BPD. There are so many combinations that will present and behave differently.
Thanks for your comment. Be well
Me too.. bipolar, BPD, ADHD.. but if I look at AH it seems she’s more intense due to her BPD and HPD.
No one with any disorder is the same as another person diagnosed with same disorders. Like Autism its on a spectrum.
I agree totally with you!
Stigma and lack of education is bad out there! People label others. It’s sad.
@@leogirl77 yess , girl I feel you . Btw you're from South Africa? Me too❤️💙💚💛🖤
She was also abused by Depp tho. Let's not forget that who has a long history of abusing women with his admittance in some cases.
We are just going to skirt over John Depp's long history of abuse and his personality disorders because he's more likable and charming?
We are going to ignore his Rolling Stone interview admitting to beating his girlfriend. Him defending Polanski as not a predator even though he was found guilty of targeting a 13 year old girl. Him destroying hotel rooms with Kate Moss inside. Winona Ryder hunting abuse from him. Plus his court admission to being physically abusive. He is very clearly abusive. Very disappointing that a professional will skip this fact and present a one sided indictment.
Women, especially, be very careful of such professionals who don't hold men accountable too.
I don’t care what your diagnosis is no one should be excused for hurting another human being whether physically verbally mentally sexually or financially!!
The moment the news erupted... my only friend who knew about my diagnosis called me and she was let's go have a cup of coffee and let's ignore the news ... I was stressed out because of the stigma of having any kind of mental illness... I'm glad Dr. Fox talks about it
This friend is a 💯 keeper. I'm happy you have someone like this. I've been discussing this trial with my fiancé and a doctor friend of mine who is currently doing her internship in psychiatry. It's a gift we were able to surround ourselves with caring, reliable people.
Coffee would just stress me out more tf lol
@@BBWahoo to be honest we ended up having some icecream and strolling around just talking nonsense... "wanna have a cup of coffee" for us means let's go out and talk.
@@Mia199603 she is ... when people at work used to gossip behind my back saying that I am crazy ... she was like "so what... I enjoy being around that crazy person" and she's ok with me being me... no expectations nor explanations
@@staroceans247
Ohhhh, I take it way too literally lol, I forget there is doublespeak
As someone with severe Borderline Personality Disorder, when I see online comments from people who stigmatize BPD or ANY other mental disorder, it hurts my heart. Why can't people be more compassionate towards the mentally ill and keep people in their prayers, instead of spreading hate? Thank you Dr. Daniel Fox for this wonderful video.
Thank god someone pointed out the availability heuristic to me. My ex boyfriend constantly accused me and weaponized BPD toward me; after some 20 something counselor brought it up after listening to him for 3 one-hour sessions. I was so shocked that a licensed professional would plant a seed like this without having ANY expertise or firsthand knowledge of diagnosis nor having a single conversation with me. It ended up being our downfall as he would gaslight me (sorry, yes gaslight me) during every little conflict as being my fault because *I had BPD*. Meanwhile I have taken medication, seen psychiatrists and had weekly therapists since I was 14, and have never been diagnosed as such. Not that it’s a bad thing, there’s so much stigma around every mental health disorder, BPD being the maybe the most weaponized, but it blows my mind how the general public and armchair experts are going about labeling and diagnosing something like this. This whole trial is so harmful for women in general, especially those that suffer from mental illness.
I went through something similar. I was dating someone who I believe had some symptoms of BPD/NPD himself and he would constantly blame everything on me because I was the one who admitted having issues. I started actually blaming everything on myself which made my BPD symptoms worse. It was an endless cycle and I almost didn't make it out. The only good thing about it is that it pushed me to go to therapy, and now I can say that I have overcome my BPD, it does not affect my life anymore. But he is still doing the same things to other girls. He is always externalising blame and therefor he can never change, its really sad.
Wow. I am terrified with this video. I have BPD and my husband have HPD. It is very hard to handle because histrionic are provocative and this behavior triggers the BPD. We are together for 13 years and had years of toxicity, it wasn't at the point of this case but still not nice. We are both toxic together but I can't live without him and he is the same. We started therapy to handle it 2.5 years ago and had a lot of improvement. However we are so sensitive and have difficulty to deal with frustration. Fortunately we both have empathy despite the difficult to deal with ours problems. Your videos have helped me a lot. Thank you so much.
I’m thrilled to hear that you seeking support to make your relationship work. Sending you best wishes.
@@Hope-uq1vn Thank you so much. I really appreciate your words.
Right after Dr. Curry spoke of Amber's diagnosis the channel popcorned planet titled a live video "It's Official, She's Nuts!". I left a comment during the live about how calling her nuts because of her diagnosis is inappropriate and insensitive. Also that saying this adds to a negative stigma on mental disorders.
I'll definitely be sharing this video.
I saw that too and commented as well x
I think the doctor is incorrect with the histrionic personality disorder
But its true.
@@kariann3198 why do you think that???
@@vice2versa she shows no signs of HPD but she does show traits of BPD+NPD Depp shows traits of npd as well tho he may not have the disorder he does show strong traits of npd, his mother was bpd or NPD
Diagnosed with Borderline and Bipolar and been in therapy for 9 years. I utilize DBT as much as I can and it has helped me tremendously. I admit that before going to DBT. I was the destructive and going to rage 0-100 in a second. If my husband and I have fights and wanted to leave, my emotions goes to “he’s going to leave me” then do whatever I can to prevent him from going. I truly believed in my head that he’s not coming back and going to cheat. It“Was” that bad to the point of throwing Xbox, using suicide, crushing plastic cabinets, kicking wooden cabinets (destroyed it), and almost stabbed my husband but got pinned down by him and told me he’ll call the police if I don’t calm down. It was a wake up call on how I handled my anger on the last one that’s why I accepted DBT group therapy my doctor suggested (I avoided DBT for 2 years). All in all, it was a lifesaver and completely calmed my insane self for 2 years now. My husband is still with me and update him with things I talk to therapy.
Previous therapy and doctors suggested DBT or some form of group therapy but I refused “Group” setting. Dialectical Behavioral Therapy somehow required “group” it’s why I avoided it till 3-4 doctors in and I accepted it till the incident that almost got out of hand.
He was cheating on you and he was planning on leaving you. You're not wrong about him your reactions towards his behavior is what makes you "dysregulated" and acting out.
Most of the times women are convinced by their partners that they are "crazy" or they are "imagining things" as a form of gaslighting and cover up for their own behavior, so when they are caught cheating or leaving they will blame shift "i cheated because I couldn't stand you", "I left because you're crazy" but basically it's resumed to "This could have lasted way longer if you didn't f*ck my brain". This were my ex words by the second and final discard. Ended up knowing I was his dirty little secret. So, he was using me for his dirty deeds while pursuing other woman, he's still pursuing her and likely has some other clueless side piece.
I have to come across the woman who's intuition about a man is wrong.
If a man thinks he can do better he will find someone better (like getting a much younger partner) and if he has opportunity to cheat without consequences then he will do it.
Ptsd mimics borderline. I think he (depp)is emotionally unavailable. He never validates her feelings. She’s tried to get him to hear her amd he just can’t. Then arguments start. They escalate as he’s on drugs or alcohol. He belittled her calls names and she then attacks him with words. He throws things amd Vice versa. He’s not innocent. He had issues. He amd her personality is not compatible. Not necessarily is she borderline. 12 hrs is not enough time to diagnose it. That’s ridiculous. No one understands trauma , abuse, DV, trauma bonding, ptsd and it’s unbelievable to me.
It’s true that many providers are not properly trained. Thanks for your comment.
True
I'm so glad to see this video! As soon as I saw Amber was diagnosed with BPD my stomach sank, knowing it had the potential to once again fan the flames of stigma against people who struggle with it. Hopefully this video reaches as many people as possible to let others know we are still unique individuals who aren't limited or boxed in by our diagnosis! 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
I question how she was diagnosed with BPD/HPD. Therapist Katie Morton offers a disclaimer in some videos saying she usually needs to get to know someone for at least 6 months, ideally a year to diagnose a personality disorder. A diagnosis given by a psychologist hired to potentially discredit someone seems questionable to me.
@@melb2734 She was hired to contest the diagnosis of PTSD. Shouldn't her assignment be just apply enough tests to contradict the diagnosis? What about ruling out other conditions that could have explained the symptoms? Bipolar? ADHD? Autism?
She went directly to cluster B personality disorders because she was ordered to fish for it. That's how psychology diagnosis work. The expert will look for confirmation bias and try to put the person in a box.
I haven’t followed any of this trial because it’s too triggering, having BPD, CPTSD, MDD, ADHD etc etc.. the stigma is a joke.
I’ve done so much DBT so my symptoms are no longer as damaging.. We don’t deserve the stigma!!
People with BPD, among other PD’s can be good and bad, just like people with no diagnosis’ at all can be good and bad.
At least people with BPD who seek help are self aware and trying to better themselves. More than i can say for some of the general population. Thank you for this video
Thanks for your comment. Be well.
Know many folks with BPD. A real challenge to have. I believe we need to treat psychopathology with respect it deserves. Anxiety,depression, ADHD, autism, etc. They are all listed in DSM and neurotypicals are lucky nit to live with psychopathology. Yet, neurodivergents get labeled or stigmatized. That has to stop. People wouldn't poke fun at people with heart disease, diabetes, and strokes, so why is it okay to stigmatized mental illness? No matter what the diagnosis, we need to recognize that mental health issues are real and should be treated with same level of seriousness as physical ailments
I watched the trial & that is how I realized I may have BPD. It scared me & made me feel bad because I thought I was a bad person. I would like to get an official diagnosis because I don’t want my family thinking that I am just trying to get attention. Your channel has been helping me a lot. I don’t feel like a villain, i feel like someone who needs help so I don’t accidentally hurt the people around me. I don’t want to be bad, i want to be a good person. When I watched some BPD videos I felt like an animal being cut open and all the ugly inside was being exposed. Your channel is making things better & I am now reading & going thru your BPD work book. God bless you, Dr. Fox.
After I realized trauma was my issue, and it was obvious to me the lability of my moods was directly caused by triggers of that trauma. Because the trauma had been ongoing and inescapable, until I was 18, I had a lot of coping mechanisms that had ensured my survival, and toward the end, that of others. These coping mechanisms led to disaster after I became an adult.
I researched treatment options, and decided Cognitive Behavioral Therapy would help me. I did not expect that, within the first ten minutes, my therapist would decide I had BPD, and proceed to tell me that other therapists don’t like to treat people with that disorder, and didn’t really like them much. This was horrifically depressing, and my very damaged self-esteem was damaged even further. I did more research, because she was trying to convince me of things about myself that were not true. She also dismissed my passionate human rights activism as “politics”, and not relevant to my “disorder.”
I learned CBT from her, ignored her New Age advice, some of which would have been medically unsound, and decided it didn’t matter about my diagnosis, I just needed the tools to get better. Which I did.
Later, reading a British psychiatric journal, I learned what checked all the boxes, and explained my activism, as well, and that was CPTSD.
So I have a question. Is there any way psychologists could talk about our symptoms and damage and illness without insulting us? This is a small thing, for instance, but a good example. We don’t study to be helpless. We try and try and try again, beaten back every time, for years. What that teaches us is hopelessness. And that’s after we’ve hoped for as long and as hard as we could.
I did a lot of the right things to help myself before ever knowing what was wrong with me. I had raised well-adjusted children, who are compassionate, gifted, and adults I would seek out to meet, if I didn’t already know them. I’d accomplished some pretty amazing things, such that my therapist called me “high-functioning”. She finally understood what my family was, and apparently she knew enough about family systems to see that the role I’d been assigned really sucked. Nobody wants to be both the rescuer, on top of being the scapegoat.
Keeping away from therapists that think they are better than others is the key. There are so many good RUclips therapists and books written by highly qualified people that nobody needs to deal with narc therapists that trash your reputation in their notes and spread nonsense to other health care professionals. Nobody needs the redacule
I'm sorry you went through this. I always think that if someone doesn't click with a therapist, they should be made to know that it's possible to move on.
I nerd a lot about psychology and the moment I learned about histrionic personality disorder, I wanted to see an example. Sadly very hard to find, since most people with this diagnosis will never know or admit that they have it. To have this specimen on camera is amazing and I have to thank Amber for volunteering.
Check out What About Bob for a male example and Jenna on 30 Rock for female. These are exaggerations of course but it illustrates the condition.
If the DSM was a person it would have a cluster B personality disorder
I have a family member with BPD and these people are hell to be around. I got sick of walking on eggshells, being the object of their wrath, being called a “bitch” and told “I hate you”. I had to cut all contact and block her number & it’s the best thing I’ve ever done. I don’t need this garbage, I don’t deserve this anger and hatred and I don’t have to put up with it. As for A.H., I believe the doc’s diagnosis of her, who in their right mind takes a dump in somebody’s bed? If you have the bad luck to have these people in your life I suggest making a clean break and cutting them out of your life for your own sanity.
I still don't understand of something as harmless as leaving poop on someone's bed is more shameful than other things she apparently did like throwing bottles at him and injuring him.
Like the 💩 that the driver testified that amber said it was a "prank" was the most horrible thing. It was her birthday party and Johnny didn't come. Probably she was devasted but instead of waiting for him to some nasty fight she and her friends Probably intoxicated decided the prank was a better revenge.
I can imagine the chat "He's crap girl. How can your husband miss your birthday party? He doesn't worth your sh*t, actually sh*t is what he deserves".
And then all the drama by his staff "johnny don't get in there's hazard" takes photo of it.
Really? Really?
Did you ever tell your family member that you love them and want to help them? Did you ever show concern? Maybe it's a cry for help? At the same time, I understand some of them are impossible. I have a parent with BPD and can not speak with them because they never went to therapy and refuses treatment. If this person got therapy, they would change significantly, but if they refuse, that's another thing.
Not everyone with BPD is like your family member.
A lot of people make the BPD person out to be a monster. And that’s what sucks.
I think the reason Amber was asked to do the psych evaluation and Johnny was not, was because Amber claimed to be suffering from PTSD from her relationship with Johnny as part of her defense, but Johnny did not claim any mental health issues as part of his case against Amber. If he had, he would have had to have a psych evaluation too.
Yes well that shows you how incompetent Heard's team is. Depp clearly also has a mental disorder. For one choosing a woman who is young enough to be his daughter shows a lack of maturity. Also the drug and alcohol abuse is telling.
@@juliettailor1616 I think Heard's team did try to get Johnny evaluated but the judge did not allow it. Amber was claiming to have a mental health issue as part of her case so this had to be assessed for validity. Johnny did not claim to have a problem and I don't believe Amber and her team are claiming that he does have a mental disorder, they are claiming he had a drug problem (which he has admitted) and that he was abusive. I don't know exactly how the system works, but while there were grounds to have Amber assessed, it doesn't follow that Johnny should be similarly assessed.
@@clairey6407 I remember reading some articles before Ambers assessment where Johnny claims that Amber is a borderline psychopath or something like that and that was before her assessment. ODD.
Edit: Alcohol addiction is mentioned in the DSM.
@@Sarablueunicorn Hi Taylor. I don't know that it is odd. Several people have speculated that she may have Borderline (and that's long before Dr. Curry said it in court). I think it was a doctor (not sure if medical or psychology) that had suggested to Johnny that Amber likely has a personality disorder and that may be where Johnny got that from. He was naturally trying to make sense of her behaviour and, like I say, many others have suspected she may have Borderline.
I don’t stigmatize anyone with a PD. I have a friend with BPD and she’s nothing like Amber Heard. Most people are responsible citizens. I don’t, however, think personality disorders are an excuse to treat others like garbage, get a slap on the wrist, or blame others if you do wrong or go against the law. We are all responsible for ourselves regardless of our background and the mental health issues we struggle with.
It's important to understand that having BPD is not synonymous with being abusive, manipulative, etc. The way a person acts when they are triggered is personal to them, and is their responsibility. Some people externalize, some people internalize, but just because a personal holds similar beliefs and thinking patterns, does not gaurantee they will show up the same way in behavior. Behaviors happen for all sorts of reasons, for people with PD's and for those without. Long story short, the only thing you need to take responsibility for is your own behavior, regardless of what anyone else is doing, and whether you have a BPD or not.
Very true. Thank you for your comment and be well.
Katie, what your exes think about it?
Very well put and underrated comment.
Thank you so much for posting this video. Having BPD (along with CPTSD) and having the media demonise personality disorders is truly harmful not only to the suffers themselves, but also their support networks and the public in general. By blanketing sufferers as mostly abusive and selfish completely detracts from the fact that for many, these disorders are a product of severe neglect and child abuse. It's painful as most sufferers already have such small circles of people who they can trust with the knowledge of such stigmatised disorders and now it's seems to have gotten so much smaller again. I already struggle with who I am at the best of times, but now I feel the added pressure of needing to hide this side of me while this is all going on which is esspescially hard since I have made a lot of progress to not mask. I feel myself back peddling and it causes so much pain. So it just becomes another layer for my phychologist to deal with. I just wish the world would educate themselves more and the media needs to be more accountable for the lives they directly and indirectly affect.
I hope jd gets justice but there is a separate issue here in that bpd stigma, now ah is diagnosed has now gone through the roof, the bile of seen on social media this week is shocking. Thank you for taking time for making this video.
I think the issue is people assuming Amber having BPD traits is a full explanation for her being abusive and lying to ruin JD's reputation when it's not. BPD is 9 criteria and not the entirety of someone's personality. You can meet the criteria for BPD and be a kind person and you can meet the criteria for BPD and be nasty and vindictive....it will differ depending on the rest of the person's personality traits in combination with the BPD traits.
Thank you for the video. The point you mentioned on separating yourself is so important. I always feel bad personally when a person with BPD comes into the spotlight because I know the public reaction is going to be....unpleasant
Thank you Dr. Fox for mentioning stressrelated (!) paranoia. The word 'stressrelated' really highlights what can trigger these thoughts (I can't stand loud noises for too long). I couldn't relate to the paranoia before, but now I know where my 'social anxiety' might come from.
Thank you for talking about this trial. The whole thing makes me sad when I read strongly polarized comments, so without compassion and knowledge.
That’s what I’m fighting against. We have to push back the stigma together.
Yes, Thx dr Fox!
@@xxk8242 they are also victims
@@xxk8242 bpd is not a self created state
@@xxk8242 Are you absolutely sure that people with borderline are evil? Today we know that borderline is a treatable condition. Would this be possible if borderline equals evil?
I agree with you one hundred percent that knowledge is needed and that it is important to protect oneself. People who have a distorted view of reality can seriously harm other people. I know what I'm talking about, because I grew up with violent parents and it has taken me a lifetime to recover. That is precisely why I say no to violence and yes to knowledge and compassion. I want children to grow up in security. If this is to be possible, we must distinguish between inherent value and actions. It is violence and misconceptions that are the problem, not man himself.
I found them disclosing that she has bpd quite triggering. I was at work, I work in healthcare as Respiratory therapist, and the nurses were talking about it negatively with borderline as a whole. Because of the stigma on not just mental illness but borderline in particular, I don't disclose my diagnosis (though I'm the quit, internalizing, self destructive type). I'm also bipolar but have no problems disclosing that😄! I actually get a kick out of when folks bash bipolar and then I prove them wrong with sharing that I am bipolar😄.
Dr Fox, how come Dr. Shannon Curry did not diagnose her with NPD? She has the required traits to qualify. The lack of Empathy, Blame-shifting, devaluation, narcissistic rage, her grandiosity and sense of entitlement?
Are you sure those are not traits you are putting on her?
Is it because of her MMPI2 and CAPS5 scores?
@@upinthestars2406 I guess you haven’t been watching the trial and all the evidence so far? I highly recommend it.
@@HeidiSchweichler the little information you get from the trial is not enough for someone who is not qualified to say she is a narcissist. A lot of people think people with bpd have no empathy. You are forgetting that people with bpd "split" and devalue people. That can come off as a lack of empathy for others when they have split.There is bpd rage just like there is npd rage. So yes npd is similar in ways to bpd but you are ignoring those things can be present in bpd too.
@@upinthestars2406 I wasn’t aware that people with BPD “split and devalue” so not ignoring this fact. I’m actually a survivor of Narcissistic Abuse and her rages are exactly what I’ve experienced. Once I was healed I took a deep dive on personality disorders and it’s fascinating (and sad 😔) to witness how BPD comorbid with HPD can manifest itself.
YES! I was actually really hoping you'd do a video on this case. Thank you!
me too!!! When i saw the doctor in the trail, i thought... they need Dr. Daniel Fox! snap snaps! 🤣😍😋😛😊
Thank you, Dr Fox. Much needed
Thank you for making this. It honestly broke my heart hearing about a person’s mental illness being broadcast publicly to the world. REGARDLESS OF WHO’s SIDE I’M ON, I’m so done with personality disorders being stigmatized and vilified in media. It’s awful. Im scared of how this trial will perpetuate the stigma :(
I honestly feel sorry for her. I know what she did is wrong, but he also hit her and controlled her and is denying it and that's not right either. She must feel like no one is on her side, I really hope she gets the help she needs.
@@BBFCCO733 he never hit her she's evil nothing to pity here cluster b always a victim of their rages
@@jessicavalley9211 there are so many people with BPD that are amazing & incredible people, good people. I strongly suspect BPD myself but also dated someone with BPD for a long time. Kind, compassionate, caring to a fault, relentlessly self destructive and self hating to the point where it hurt to hear how much hate was directed inward. I felt like love could save me, they didn't. I have not met someone with that level of empathy in a long time. It hurt to know someone that could love so much could also be so deeply damaged by the world. BPD is a result of deeply troubled childhood most of the time sadly. In my case I had an untreated and unaware narc father who trained me to mirror his view points when I was around. This taught me to learn how to mirror behaviours so well that I started conciously going 'wow! that's so cool, I can be anyone anybody wants me to be! I can make everybody happy!' but of course little children don't understand that you're only supposed to have one set of morals, views, opinions, behaviours, you are supposed to be 'you' but I learned to adapt. Now in adulthood I have been so many people for others that it is second nature, and there feels like there is no 'me'. All I am is a hollowed shell making the motions of being a person but when I am alone there is really nothing in there it feels like. When there is conflict suddenly I am 5 again and rarely do I put up a fight. I just lie down like a kicked dog and weep. Many kids with higher levels of empathy, highly sensitive people and especially people with RSD presenting in their ADHD are prone to BPD because of how quickly they can become traumatized in childhood.
Many people with BPD do not ever yell, scream, hit, say I love you and then say I hate you. Some internalize it and learn to hate themselves so much they become desperate to find a way to die even when they are being supervised. Abuse is not ok, but neither is demonizing a disorder almost always stemming from trauma. When you look at someone with BPD, you are (generally) looking at the current result of a child that who was neglected, abused, etc. For me it still feels like part of that child never grew. Part of them died, the rest got older physically, but (I forgot which video I saw this in) it is very true, the desire to be reparented. You can lose your childhood but still never get to grow up.
@@jessicavalley9211 I understand. I wish I wasn't bitter still, sometimes there are days where I wonder 'how could you not see how badly this hurt?' But I know you can work through this. Healing takes time, and forgiving and forgetting is leaving out the fact that you need time to process and accept that it ever happened, that you didn't deserve the fallout or the situation, and that there will likely be no forgetting. My response wasn't meant to be an attack, just a reminder that they are hurting too. We all are. All we can do, especially people along the borderline spectrum, is try to forgive ourselves and those who hurt us, but also see through the lense of loved ones, even when it feels like they don't love us at all.
I wish you well, and I hope there are times where you can enter these BPD spaces to understand more about what goes through the minds of people on the borderline spectrum. It helped me immensely to not only realize that nothing was done out of spite, but it also made me realize I had very similar behaviours albeit I would cling on desperately to the point of being willing to risk my life for pity instead of leaving before someone left me. It has helped, but it takes time. Much love ❤
@@BBFCCO733 your the first person I’ve came across to show her some actual empathy💯
This video was comforting. Looking at the comments of the video of the trial where personality disorders are mentioned there are many men diagnosing their ex wives with BPD because they see themselves as JD and feel they have been wrongful made a villain in there breakups. It’s a hard time for the community having our diagnosis being generalised and stigmatised after all the progress we have made in working on the reputation of BPD. I do not feel comfortable sharing my diagnosis at this time
I'm reading a great book called The Buddha and the Borderline which is one young woman's story of being diagnosed BPD and learning how to recover. I've been having a lot of anxiety and depression lately and my therapist suggested working with a DBT workbook. I was concerned that she thought I was BPD but no matter how I look at it I don't have enough symptoms or ways of thinking to indicate a personality disorder so I have to conclude that my C-PTSD symptoms have some overlap with Borderline traits. This is not surprising to me. I also understand that many if not most people have some mental illness on a spectrum. I know I was brought up by addicts and my Mother was out of control emotionally and very abandoning and mentally, verbally and physically abusive. I developed traits to try and survive it. Whatever I have is ok and I won't stigmatize myself. I didn't cause it but I will heal it. Stay strong and loving towards yourself friends. You deserve to have solid self love. We all do.
I've been watching Johnny's case for couple of days now but I after hearing those people defining BPD, it made me uncomfortable. Because I know for a fact that I am not violent towards others. I do have BPD yes, I may be mad, angry, feel frustrated and have all other mix whirlwind emotions all at the same time.
But I would never physically hurt anyone.
My concern is that society will now use BPD as a "go to term" towards people whom they think is violent or being physically abusive.
That's why I find this video very much comforting reminding us to focus on our on selves and try with our very best not to be affected by this stigma.
As a smart man who makes great videos, I am glad you didn't just cast aspersions upon anyone's mental condition based on tidbits of info that are being released about their r'ship.
What I know is NO ONE KNOWS what goes on behind close doors, and often in toxic r'ships it's THE REAL aggressor who people treat as the poor victim and the person that gets villified who could well have been the victim.
What I do hope is that they both heal from this and choose better partners and make healthier choices in future.
Whatever the outcome we can be sure the male in the situation will have no problem getting work, Amber with be shunned and will never work again. So sad. 😔
THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU
I was hoping you would address this, as I feel that this situation only solidifies the stigma surrounding BPD and other personality disorders. I have a lot of people in my life that blame me for every single argument because I have a mental illness. It's very frustrating for me because it just makes it harder to spread awareness and end the stigma.
Thank you for this. I work with someone with BPD and they are nothing like AMber heard. Id hate for them to be triggered or stigmatized by what’s in the media right now.
I think it’s not so that any person who have these disorders are automatically violent but I do think Amber has been enabled, with no treatment, to become who she is today.
She said Amber claimed to have all but one symptom of PTSD and called it feining.
Hi. Hats off to your dedication to BPD community. That physcologist hired by Jonny Depp, I felt she is biased and added even more stigma. I know so many BPD, they are leading a normal life and are in normal relationships.
Thank u so much for covering this. It’s really had me down lately bc I’m not like amber heard at all in the abusive sense and bc now the whole world knows she also has bpd, the disorder is even more stigmatized.
Wow, Dr. Fox, I really didn't expect to find such a compassionate take on RUclips! You really care about people with personality disorders. Adding this to the quality of information you provide - well, you've got yourself a fan 😅
Thank you very much and I’m glad that you’re enjoying the channel.
Thank you so much for finally talking about HPD. Please make more videos on this topic in the future. HPD deserves more recognition. It's not talked about much and I'm glad it's getting some more attention recently but with the way things are going in the media, I feel like it's just going to perpetuate the stigma of people with PDs being crazy and manipulative.
Its mostly the cluster b personalities that get all the attention. The cluster contains what pop culture knows as, the sociopaths, the narcissists, the drama queens and the attention whores. The other clusters of personality disorders are never mentioned in pop culture.
Yes! It annoys me so much how you rarely hear about HPD in reference to the trial when the behaviour (like her expression of emotion) visible to the public is, imo, more reflective of HPD regardless of her diagnoses.
Thank you for making this video. A friend recently asked my opinion on the topic and it was very destabilizing. I have bpd, but I'm very adapt at masking my symptoms so many people don't think I have it. The problem is bpd has impacted my life to where I can't work and I struggle achieving goals. The hyper fixation people have on the explosive bpd diagnosis is harmful because it makes it more difficult to think you're worthy of treatment. Thank you for reminding me to not identify with the issue. Hopefully your work continues to reach more effected people and gives support through trying times like this.
Thank you so much Dr Fox for this kind, empathetic and thoughtful video.
Hope viewers are taking cars of their mental health and stepping away from too much coverage ♥
I feel sad reading the comments to this video as I feel like the deeply thoughtful, empathetic and "don't jump to conclusions" message has been lost with people... Jumping to conclusions and blaming and labelling people with PDs as "abusers" and also diagnosing via media these two troubled celebrities.
Firstly people on a RUclips comments section shouldn't be diagnosing celebrities that they have never met - even if they had professional training and had evaluated these people they would not be allowed to publicly announce this anyway. Super unethical.
Secondly can people for a moment stop and have some empathy for the viewers of this video who have mental illness/PD and who are suffering from being labelled negatively by proxy? Think before you comment. There are many people with BPD, HPD and NPD who are not commiting IPV or bullying and many people with no PD who are doing those things. It is not right to conflate the two.
Thirdly, >50% of intimate partner violence is perpetrated by people with no mental health diagnosis but who may have insecure attachment and stress - this is potentially amenable to therapy interventions. So labelling people who abuse their partners as "npd" or "bpd" really isn't even reflective of the evidence base.
Fourthly, both parties have submitted into evidence video and audio footage with both parties being emotionally and physically abusive (yes, breaking objects in rage and swearing at your partner is also considered a type of physical IPV). Co-abuse is also disturbingly common in the general community.
Fifthly I think it is interesting observing the polarisation and splitting of the public with people taking sides in this horrible tawdry legal situation.
Sixthly i guess i would not want to spend any time with either JD or AH but I feel both sorry for then AND sad and frustrated that these obviously intelligent people are behaving in a vindictive way to each other without getting effective help. I hope they can find some peace and healing one day.
Thank you for your comment. This is important!
@@scutemgoot thank you for your reply ♥!
As if stonewalling and silent treatments aren't forms of abuse.
I feel like Johnny loves those and relies on his avoidance.
Remember this couple had a busy schedule during their marriage and not a lot of time under the same roof. I feel like Amber wanted his attention when they were together and he was already in another planet. Coming late to important events like her birthday party or skip them at all can be very triggering and painful for a partner.
I remember Amber sometimes had such simple requests as going to bed at same time. People labeling it as control, where i see a very simple request from a wife or a husband that translates for i want some intimacy/comfort/cuddles/company.
He also had disappearance acts, apparently he went no contact for a week, that's nowadays called "ghosting". Mr. Depp here was creating a trauma bond with a push and pull, maybe unintentional, strategy.
She's kinda messed up but at some times she really communicates her feelings like "when you turn your back and walk away i feel like dying inside".
@@Sarablueunicorn so just like Amber heard in one of the tapes, she said yes u suppose to stay no matter what
I’m sorry if know someone going to beat me up I’m leaving .
I have a BPD diagnosis and feel very anxious that the characterisation of Amber Heard alongside the BPD diagnosis by the Forensic Psychologist is going to ignite a new wave of stigmatisation and discrimination against myself and others. I have even had a psychologist discriminate against me and refuse to treat me because I have BPD. And I have the words evil, insane, monster etc ringing in my ears. It’s really difficult to develop a healthy sense of personhood in a world that views you this way. 😞
Thank you Dr. Fox for covering this. There's so much misinformation being spread around these two disorders, thanks to this trial
Thanks to Dr´s like Fox, there´s misinformation being spread ...
@@Proposal12 I didn't know that. What misinformation has he spread?
@@ladygagarin1660 Check my comment about it with a link, then you will know. This Dr. is simply jumping on a bandwagon.
I haven't followed the trial, but, quite by coincidence, today I got to hear someone describing to me what BPD is. They have no idea of my own diagnosis, and were so far off the mark, so fixed on the negative stereotype, that I wasn't tempted in the least to say anything. It simply reinforced why I keep my Rx to myself. It was a bit triggering, but I think I'm a fair way down the path to keeping my pre-frontal brain lobes under control.
You know, I think the best way to combat this, is if that person knew you on a personao basis, ask them if they think that's how exactly you behave or that is their experience with you and whether they think all BPD people act that way and then reveal that you have it and ask them if they now think you're as evil as they make you out to be. It shuts them up quickly.
@@redfullmoon i wonder what a non stereotypical BPD person would look like cause i never met one that didnt fit the stereotype.
My daughter was dx with BPD, she’s identical to amber. The things she’s put men through is so close, violence, blackmail and she’s more beautiful than amber. I’m talking men have bought her Mercedes’, apartments and cash. And been a sugar baby. I pity any man that gets trapped in her web. Always a victim no matter what. She’ll hurt herself and threaten men by saying they did it.
Oh my goodness! That must be so awful to watch. Do you have serious boundaries with her? Have you asked her about getting help?
Thank you. They are separate, although, it’s fascinating to see glimpses of our childhood reality on public stage in reality.
I hope my mommy dearest is watching and learning from an example of what is so much like herself.
I'm happy people are discussing these personality disorders. My daughter has BPD and possibly HPD as well. She's abused me her mother almost her entire life. She learned young that if she made up claims about me teachers became very interested. She would make up the oddest lies about me. Every year she would pick out the prettiest girl in her opinion and spend the rest of the school year making that girl miserable and obsessing on whether that girl was prettier than her. I kept saying you're both pretty. Her being pretty doesn't make you less pretty. I put her in so many different activities to show her that her worth is far beyond her looks but as an adult she still wants to be the center of everyone's attention. She will make sure she gets the attention one way or another. She will sleep with her best friends husband just to confirm that she can. She lies about people with no regard at all for what happens to them as a result. I couldn't wait until she was old enough to move out. She was constantly exploding on all of us and we walked on eggshells. I try to stay away from her. She scares the hell out of me. But I deal with all this guilt too. I know it makes her unhappy that people don't want to be around her. She causes everyone to leave but it's also very heartbreaking to watch her destroy her relationships. How do we the victims have a connection with them so that we aren't abused but also aren't abandoning them?
I think it's important to understand that BPD doesn't occur in a vacuum. It's very difficult, as a parent, to admit that you may have had something to with your child's current condition. Perhaps some honest self-reflection wouldn't go amiss.
@@jordsupp You are totally right, like parents create the disorder and then don't wanna take responsibility. Like the child was born a demon with capacity to manipulate.
I have a friend who's now 28 who recognizes that she was displaying abuse towards her mother during her childhood and teenagehood by yelling, demanding. The thing is she wasn't aware of it, that's what her father would do. The father would come home and yell at the mother, beat her and kinda allow the children to do the same. It was normalized behavior, also by copying the power in the house (father) themselves would be out of danger since the father would direct the attacks at the mother and not them.
Children learn by imitating behaviors and what's mirrored back at them and basically try to survive.
Still the mother never claimed the child was abusive.
Parents create and raise their demons and then play victim.
I also recently came across an interview with a man who was sexually abused by his father until the age of 10 by his sadistic father but when he was asked about his childhood he said "it was basically good...like i had a roof over my head and was never hungry, i got clothes so i was good. Just the things my father was doing to me...i didn't know how it hurted to bad to use the bathroom"
I see how this child was brainwashed anytime he probably complained "you have roof over your head, food and clothing. You have nothing to complain about".
That was my mother's daily speech and when i dared to speak about her violent acts she would say "Some have it worse. Deal with it".
Learning as much as you can, having and sticking to boundaries etc and if you can, find a good professional to mediate.
@@Sarablueunicorn Exactly! This "father's" comment made me sick. Such a victim. Right.
Dr. Fox,
If it weren't for my friend, who is a N.A.M.I advocate, I would have been still acting like I was ok. Though initially I was deeply ashamed to face the complexity of my own mental health, she was and still is my hero. When I am able I will donate to N.A.M.I. Thank you for being another kind soul for those like me.
As far as this case with Depp vs Heard, it is two hurting people trying to find acceptance in each other but I know, as well as you do, this is toxic at best. I am praying for both of them.
I've been watching the trial in the background here and there when I'm doing other things and I was so disheartened when they diagnosed her with BPD and HPD. I have BPD and it's an incredibly hard thing to live with. If I could be ANY other way, I would be. I struggle intensely and am very private about my diagnosis because of all of stigma. And I work SO hard to be regulated.
I also have ADHD. But ADHD is more common and sometimes even celebrated. I wear my ADHD with pride but I hide my BPD. And it sucks that things like this make me even more ashamed of my diagnosis.
Keep working hard, how is treatment going?
Thank you for this, Dr. Fox! This has been on my mind all week, thank you for addressing it
Thank you so much for covering this Dr Fox, it's greatly appreciated by myself as well as many others with BPD
I'm glad you're speaking on this. I was hoping you would. When I read the news, I was thinking, that now the stigma will be even worse for people with bpd. You're doing important work. Thank you!
Thanks for being our lobby
Thank you SO MUCH for doing this video. I've been highly stressed out about this all week. ✌🏼
Your approach to this video was super professional and more people who are throwing around wordsl ike "crazy b****" should watch this because being mentally ill or having such a diagnosis is never the reason someone is an alleged abuser, abuse is a choice
I been following this case cause I’m really into crime and I felt it in my Sri when I heard she has my disorder… and my glad my RUclips therapist “you” spoke up about it . I felt so embarrassed and sad like I started to compare myself to her in my relationships ofcourse I never hit my bf but I’ve had episodes and it made me think like wow am I a terrible person now that I’m seeing this story from someone else pov ..
aaah! couldn't wait for your take on the topic! thank you for the videos!
A couples days ago, I hoped you would discuss this, and now you are, thanks a lot!
Dr. Fox is seriously the best!! Thank you for all that you do! ❤️
I'm so glad this video was helpful for you. I wish you well.
I am hyper fixated 😔 I feel for Johnny
As always great advise! “you make your own decisions”😊😊😊😊
I had a bad influence of my sister's friend who had Hpd. I didnt know how to interact with people. She was first one with whom i interacted closely after facing abuse. I learnt all her behaviour in order to interact with people. Also, i normalized many things that she does in her relationship with boys.
She was useful in many ways especially in coping with social anxiety and enjoying life.
But in the process i learnt her bad traits that costed me later on.
You’re a gem Doctor Fox. I just wanted to say thank you.
Thanks Dr. Fox !! We don't know what happened behind their closed doors.
I needed to hear this today
Thank you, Dr Fox🙏💯
Thank you!!! We need experts like you and videos like this!
I'll add this: watch the film Edward Scissorhands through the BPD lens - amazing!
Thank you for this reminder, Dr. Fox.
This is going to be interesting. I'm excited.
Honestly, even if Amber is found guilty, and no matter how people sensationalize the concept of BPD being a black and white negative trait that's transfixed to toxic relationships and people being crazy, it's important to remember that someone isn't toxic BECAUSE of their mental health. Someone is toxic because of the negligence of duty, absence of growth, failure to process, and lack of want to cope with their mental health. If Amber Heard has BPD & HPD and if Amber Heard does turn out to be a guilty party, then she's not guilty because of her BPD and HPD, she's guilty because she's Amber Heard. You are not your disorder. She is not her disorder. I am not my disorder. The issue of toxicity is never the disorder itself, its the propensity of the individual to use the disorder to scapegoat their behaviours that they one hundred percent do have agency over. That's not to say any of this is easy, that's not to say BPD and HPD and other personality and behavioural and attention and obsessive compulsive and eating disorders and all other kinds of disorders don't affect, impact, or influence us, that is to say that we absolutely can have as much if not more affect, impact and influence over our mental health than our mental health has over us, and that is our first duty of care to ourselves and the people we care about. Don't ever let the media or public opinion sway you into doomsaying or giving up on that or questioning your ability to be anything more than your mental health. People like to compartmentalize hard to understand people and moral crises into easier to understand boxes. The concept of an immoral human is much scarier for people to face down because they are human themselves and they don't understand it. The concept of an immoral borderline or histrionic patient gives that extra barrier and label to push all the behaviours they don't understand onto in order to maintain an observation that humans are inherently good when we're not. Every single person alive on this planet today has the propensity to do bad things. Whether they have mental health issues, abusive pasts, or otherwise. Genetic markers and environmental factors do not increase the likelihood of us doing bad things. It increases the self-awareness, responsibility and effort we must make to not do bad things. If Amber failed at that, that's on Amber, not on her BPD or HPD.
Thank you so much for this insightful and encouraging comment!
Umm but our brains is what makes us who we are. Its simple biology of the brain.
@@vice2versa Our brains are not solely compromised of our mental disorder. Our decisions make us who we are. Our disorders impact those decisions, but we ultimately always have a choice in our behaviours. Just because my or you or anyone's brain is telling us that our partner is lying does NOT give you the right to aggressively accuse the of lying. It's important to maintain awareness and mindfulness that our brains naturally incline to irrational paranoia and fears, especially when there is no evidence. The amount of times I've wrongfully accused people in my life, my mom, my sister, my girlfriend, even psychiatric nurse practitioners, of having attitude or feeling a certain way about me, doing something against me, that's been outright incorrect, biased, accusatory, unfair and downright cruel and presumptuous is proof enough that changes needed to happen. And I have changed, I have improved in those senses, and I will try each and every day to not let my BPD make me lash out or assume the worst in others. To excuse immoral behaviour based on our brains is a horrible scapegoat. You have control. You have the choice. You absolutely can better process, better cope with, stay mindful of, be cautious regarding, and trust in others when it comes to those issues. If our brains did indeed control 100% of who we are then therapies wouldn't exist at all. Counselling woudln't exist at all. And overcoming addictions and strains in relationships and other issues wouldn't exist at all. Two years ago in 2020, I had the worst year of my life, I was spiralling so hard, paranoid, hypermanic. I black and white broke up with my honest and dutiful girlfriend, spiralled into alcoholism, flirted with drug abuse, and on repeat had huge psychotic breakdowns that involved me completely trashing entire rooms and homes. My mom was afraid to be around me. My sister was afraid to allow her kids to be around me. And I lost my home and had the police called on multiple occasions. Guess what? I'm two years removed from that madness, my temper is under control, I've not cut, I've not fell off the wagon, I've not trashed a damn thing since then. No PC, no monitor, no phone, no keyboard, no desk flips, no tearin about wardrobes or tables, no punching walls, no throwing shit, no headbutting walls, y'know why? It's because I took responsibility. It's because I realized that I did not like the person I was becoming. That who I was was destructive and dangerous and that I was only hurting the very people who loved me. So I got a new house. I left the people influencing me toward drug (Thank god I never took any), I got back with my girlfriend), I continued experimenting with new therapies and medications, and I re-evaluated my world view and my sense of self. Now my friendship with my sister is the strongest it's ever been, my mom doesn't have a fear in the world, of approaching me when I'm upset, my sister doesn't have a fear in the world of the kids being around me when I'm upset, and I'm so much better at articulating my needs. I've also not self-harmed or gotten drunk in two years. According to you, none of that should've been possible, because my brain was hardwired into paranoid, aggression, violence, alcoholism and self harm.
@@vice2versa You're thinking of neurology. If this was an issue of brain chemistry, anatomy, etc, it would be treated in a medical fashion. That's the difference between psychological disorders and neurological ones, (an example would be autism). Psychological disorders are complex and have more to do with distortions in people's thought patterns, emotions, self worth, identity, ect. Almost all mental health disorders are heavily stigmatized, because they lead to behaviors that socially unacceptable, but also because they are abstract and hard for people that don't have them to conceptualize and relate to. I wouldn't say these are biological problems though, as you would be hard pressed to find evidence of this.
@@xEmpress95 Our decisions are influenced by our emotions and thought patterns. If they didn't then mental disorders wouldn't exist and treating them wouldn't be so dang hard for some.
I honestly believe that Johnny Depp has ASD Lvl.2 with BPD traits, while Amber heard definitely has both NPD and HPD. People with BPD and or autism spectrum are salvageable while people with NPD and or HPD are completely lost causes....
People with BPD are not that different from people with NPD and HPD.
Yes!! Same. I came here to say this. Johnny Depp seems like a sociopath or at the least, a narcissist. Let's get HIS diagnosis. Disgusting man.
Thank you! I am upset they diagnosed her with BPD, there aren't many articles on female psychopaths but they often have NPD and HPD traits, unfortunately people with BPD are still demonized by the media
@@n.c.6211 women with BPD are just as bad as the other 2. there's a reason they belong in the same cluster of Personality disorders
Just because someone is in the public eye, why is this trial aired to the public with so much personal information that should remain private. It really doesn’t help the BPD community.
It's possible that her attorneys petitioned the court to exclude this testimony and/or to prohibit cameras in the court, but lost due to rule of law and/or the fact that they cannot adjudicate the matters without the testimony. So, the testimony was allowed by the judge and also cameras and reporting on the trial.
the stigma around personality disorders sucks so much!! hpd needs so much more awareness and cleared of stigma as it's legit mostly thrown under the bus, and bpd needs to be cleared of stigma as well. i just wish that people could understand that personality disorders aren't the root of abuse, the person who would choose not to change really is.
As soon as the tape came out of her yelling at Johnny about him "running away" instead of sticking by her to work it out i knew she had BPD. Her screaming was at him like that was like an outward display of some of the things i feel on the inside, and its honestly broke my heart. It sounded like they both had issues that were clashing and made them abusive, and at one point Johnny even said to stop the argument, cool down and to listen to the recording of it with someone who i can only imagine was their therapist, and that amber would make sense afterwards when listening to it, meaning when in the moment of her bpd flairup she cant think straight. All i can say is I KNEW
I think this is an example of what Dr.Fox was saying in this video about essentially jumping to the conclusion that someone has a mental health disorder. It's not good to look at or examine someone that you do not know or as a non-professional and label or deduce that they have any type of mental illness, especially not naming or even ruling out one's specifically. Friendly comment, just trying to help! :)
edit: side note - even if you yourself are diagnosed with it. I have a long term diagnosis for BPD and I do not have any valid jurisdiction to do this either.
@@scutemgoot its not like im trying to say i could professionally diagnose her. Im just saying that as soon as i heard that audio i knew it in my bones. I also kept it to myself until now, now that its confirmed. Besides, i dont really find any harm in speculation as long as it isnt done hatefully.
@@cloudeia6894 Personally I find it hard to believe that from one tidbit of info you can know it in your bones as you put it. BPD is an extremely complicated diagnosis and almost all of the traits and symptoms can be found in people who don't have the disorder at all. People have moments where they act in extreme ways and/or abusive ways but it does not mean they have any mental illness at all. It is a good thing that you at least kept it to yourself until it was "confirmed" that she had it. But we don't don't know if she actually has it. You can't tell from a single or even a few doctors appointments what kind of mental illness you might have. It takes quite a long time to get an accurate diagnosis even when you have good doctors and see them regularly. I don't think it's fair to say that she has confirmed BPD, so that's why I think saying that you knew it in your bones once heard about that incident and then once you heard she "has BPD" you're like I knew it! I can understand your point of view though. Can you understand my point of view?
@@scutemgoot uh yeah but i also know how complicated it is and what it does and doesnt look like, seeing as i have it myself. And even if i hadnt kept it to myself, again speculation on a celebrity whose never gonna read my comment doesnt seem that big of a deal to me. The saying 'i felt it in my bones' means gut feeling, instincts, intuition. Paired that with my knowledge of my disorder, and i ended up being accurate. And it wasnt a tidbit of info, it was a long ass conversation/fight between amber and johnny. Thats an extremely telling piece of evidence, and im absolutely sure that if therapists were able to listen in on fights like that for all of their clients, theyd probably figure shit out a lot faster, or a least key pieces of information about the individual.
@@cloudeia6894 I still disagree and I feel like this conversation probably won't go anywhere productive so I will say my final piece and leave it at that :)
Again I can definitely understand what you're saying/where you're coming from but I still disagree with the things that you're saying. I do think that what you originally said and are currently saying is actually a bit harmful (key words, A BIT, as in it is adding to the problem but not in a major influential way or on a large scale since not many people will see your comment) for those who do happen to come across your comment that do not have BPD whether they are not diagnosed with it or have been improperly diagnosed with it and/or do not understand the disorder. Little things like that are what add to skewing the view of BPD toward the negative end by making it seem like it is as all possible to be able to tell whether or not someone has a disorder when you're not a professional and you don't know them personally or even acquainted for that matter. However, your feelings/point of view is valid and so is mine, so I would just like to agree to disagree. You don't have to, but that's what I'm choosing to do! Hope you have a good day/night wherever you are :)
At last, a compassionate voice.
I was waiting for you to cover this!!!
I don’t suffer from either of these diagnoses but I do live with Bipolar so am familiar with the terms, treatment and stigma of mental illness. This therapist is extremely genuine and wise.
Love you for these videos! These words are so important.
I'm so glad you're doing this! I heard a YTer say that Dr. Curry said HPD and BPD are EXTREME versions of narcissism! It feels like I'm the only one in the comments section trying to straighten all these people out and my schooling on Cluster B disorders comes from RUclips -- I'm really not qualified. While I don't carry the diagnosis myself, a very dear family member should (I think she's been misdiagnosed). It makes me crazy to hear some of the bad info out there -- irresponsible channel hosts just trying to get on the bandwagon for views.
OMG i literally thought to myself if you were gna do a vid abt this, can't wait!!!
Thank you so much for your kind words. I wish you well.
I saw he made a video and immediately stopped whatever I was doing to click. I'm so happy
@@sparkstudies1675 ikr!! Been rly bz w life bt finally have time to watch it!!!
@@DrDanielFox thanks doctor!! U too!! The whole case is crazy!!
I was hoping you would cover this. I’ve been watching the trial wayyyyyy to much. 🙏🙏🙏
Dr fox could be an expert for anything. He is a fair objective dude
Really well-done and insightful video.
Okay so then why is she getting all this backlash? I keep telling my mother and ex to watch this stuff and they don’t seem to want to bother which is their choice but yeah. Also can we please consider the time of the month? I get really bad the week before my period but no one ever seems to talk about this. Also the mental health professionals suck….same bs over again my last one could only talk about my anxiety. I’m just over it, can’t keep a job and probably have undiagnosed ADHD and I’m going through this phase where my self is changing constantly I’ll often go online and date but once the man shows any sign of weakness I’m out I just don’t want to have to be someone’s mother and I wouldn’t want them to be mine. Also their is still a stigma.
Thank you so much for this video! Once she got diagnosed… I have been so sad, thinking I’m her 😞 thinking I’m crazy. Such a bad trigger watching anything related to this case
Dr. Curry also evaluated Heard by interviewing her over several hours. So, testing, records review, personal interview, as well as interviewing others who have come to know & experience Amber.
I really feel like Dr Curry does not completely give a fair image of what BPD is like. She explains the theory, but not what it is really like. She talks about a "life-long disorder". I find this so insensitive towards people with BPD, because I can personally attest that I have been able to change the behavioural patterns that caused my BPD. Saying it is something that will last forever is completely counter productive to helping people. The same with calling it a mental illness. It is not an illness, it is a pattern of behaviour that is dysfunctional. You can change your behaviour, you can not change an illness. There is a big difference and therapists need to realize the words they use can be very empowering or destructive. Listening to the testimony I get so frustrated because it just enhances the stereotyping that already exists. Please , if you suffer from BDP , don't let yourself be discouraged. It IS NOT a lifelong disorder and it IS VERY possible to change. But you need to believe that it is. You need to empower yourself and not listen to people (even so called experts) that claim it is something "incurable". This entire trial feels like an enormous setback for people with BPD, it is very sad.
I agree or at least the media doesnt covey the actual, non-theatric, components of what she may have said. Be well.
Awesome clarity
Super info