Getting a degree takes time, effort, and dedication. He didnt jus lie about how much money he could potentially make. He lied about how much dedication and commitment he could handle. And she feels tricked.
Not just this but this also gave the illusion that he would be an equal contributor to the household income. Instead she will end up having to support both of them and any children they will have if the relationship continues.
Lying about a degree is definitely a reason to leave your partner. Not because they don't have a degree, but because they lied and it's not like a little lie. In the future such a person can come up with worse lies.
People lie about their degrees and academic achievements ALL the time. I worked in a top tier business school and I can’t tell you how many times relatives (kids, grandchildren mostly) came to us because they wanted to make a commemorative copy of that relative’s master’s thesis as a gift to them because they were so proud of that achievement. Only thing is, there’s never been a master’s thesis as part of their degree. There were no theses on file for these people. They did earn their degree, which is a huge achievement and no reason to embellish, but they couldn’t leave it at that. Anyway, it’s one thing to lie about your credentials, but imho what’s worse is making no attempt to keep up with the lie by being successful in any part of their lives. It’s not about money, it’s about what you make of your life.
There is a story about a guy who had faked a degree and a career for years. When the lie was about to unravel, he killed his wife and kids and tried to cever it up with a fire. He was going to kill himself in the fire, but firefighters arrived too quickly and saved him.
@@masterprick1 Faking a career is big time, since it involves taking loads and loads of someone else’s money (usually the unsuspecting partner’s) and passing it off as your own. There’s no way to live that down.
We love you so much John! You are carrying OKOP right now and we appreciate you big time! Hope everyone comes back soon so you don't have to be all alone! HUGE LOVE OKOP FAM❤
Nope! No notice. If you have an extremely childish partner they can go full temper tantrum in a second and the rest of the family is unhinged. Dissapearing is for the best. Rational discussion is for rational people
I watched a crime show on a man that lied about his degree, his work, and the house that she bought. Thinking they were so ahead and stable. When the lies all came out they had “a break in” and she was murdered. Which at end all his lies came out and he is now in jail for life. So possibly the way she talks of this family she may have saved her life by not telling him. Protect yourself first.
I don't blame her for preparing a safe exit without telling him, given that his family sounds unstable and violent. It would be unwise of her to give him a heads up because he will likely tell his family and then she's stuck in a place with him and with his family coming over to literally attack her. Sometimes it's essential to have a safe exit plan to protect yourself and your property.
Yeah, when she described the potential consequences as “yelling,” I was like “oh, so you sacked up enough to leave him, which it does sound like he deserves, but you can’t handle a little yelling? Don’t wanna hurt anyone’s feewings? I wouldn’t care about a little yelling-he and his fam can scream at her ‘til they’re blue in the face, but it won’t undo the past... but regardless of what he DESERVES, girl, you should tell him.” Then she said that her MIL and SIL have assaulted people before, or even just bragged about it, and that’s when I was like “okay yeah, maybe make sure you have your stuff outta the house and he can’t physically lock you into whatever the venue of this confrontation is… THEN tell him.”
Yes. Potential domestic violence is nothing to mess with. If it's at all a risk that trying to get out will trigger retaliation, just get out as quickly and quietly as possible. There are organizations that help with this (planning ahead and getting out quietly) for exactly this reason.
This was not a safe exit. It was a petty break up. She did it because she enjoyed watching them panicked and confused. Literally giggling over speaker phone with her bestie. Don’t compare her to abuse victims, their exits actually take courage.
You don't need a "good" excuse to leave if you don't want to be with them. It's a relationship not a prison sentence. And you don't owe an explanation to them if you've complained repetitively about their sh*tty behavior. They know why you're leaving. You told them again and again.
I don't think she owes him an explanation. She could write him a letter if she cares enough to give him some amount of closure. As someone that had been through some things, I would tell anyone to get out if those feelings are strong for you. There's a reason that she wants to leave so badly.
The worst part about that relationship is that he made her responsible for his own success, without doing anything to get there himself. The way OP described him sounds like he expected her to pull success for him out of thin air, while he big chills in the meantime. Sorry bud.. it just doesn’t work like that…
Yes, lying about the degree is worth breaking up with someone. As you said yourself it's about a major life achievement. If he's willing to lie about that, how much else has he lied about? If he's going to lie about something so huge, is ANYTHING that comes out of his mouth even the truth. How can you ever trust anything he says? Trust and honesty are important in a life partner. You also add all this other behavior of his into it and no...he's NOT a keeper.
Yes she should leave without giving him an explaination. You say that she should talk to him about the things that are bothering her, but she clearly did and he blew it off like it was nothing.
The worst part of cheating is the lying and subsequent breach of trust. So, yes, any situation in which lying is involved will result in a breach of trust. That's the ultimate relationship killer.
I love the single episodes but miss the bouncing of ideas and opinions going on between each of them (John, Riley, Sam, and all the guests). They do great regardless!👏👏👏
She owes him nothing, especially since he treated her like an 🏧 & refused to communicate with her, it's not like she left him homeless, he can live with his mom. As for the wedding, she reached out & was ignored her so that's her problem. Hopefully she can find a job closer to home so she can be with her kids.
He's my favorite of the usual duo, but I like when someone is there to create a conversation/disagree with some things. Like John saying "is it grounds to break up just because he lied about his degree?" Sam would've popped in to say "well yeah bro, wtf, thats a huge thing". Plus, when he's alone he's mainly just reading the story with a tiny bit of extra input (Not his fault, it's hard to have a conversation with just yourself). If I wanted to just have reddit stories, I would get back on the app and read them myself a month before these videos are released. Or I'd watch those other youtube videos that play cheap mobile games and read the posts in a robotic voice. The reason I watch OKOP is for that conversation.
John, we miss everyone when they are not on an episode, you included. You’re the best hype man! Glad you’re getting into GoT… some seasons are slow and not great, but just trust and watch to the end
I would 100% leave someone for lying about their degree. Younger and dumber me dated two guys who lied to their families about something huge (one about his degree). Turns out they also lied about other stuff and had major unaddressed issues that lead them to lie about these things. What a surprise, I know! To anybody out there: DO NOT STAY WITH LIARS, EVEN IF THE LIE IS NOT ABOUT YOU
What the hell? How is lying about a degree not an instant 'leave him '. Honestly, just the stuff she listed before is enough to pack the bags and go. Are our standards really so low that it's just fine for us to have a partner that doesn't blatantly abuse us and our trust?
Well She Is Completely Valid Some People just fall out of love or were never truly in love or just in love with certain things about him but she's completely right. Also NOT THE A-HOLE
Definitely lying about a degree can be a reason to a leave person. Not because he doesn't have a degree but because he is lying big deal. And we even have widely known cases where someone is lying about his degree, later on about work and lies pile more and more until liar ends up unaliving his/her family members because his/her lies start to fall appart and they are not ready to face it. There isn't just one case like that, there have been several cases like that, so these big liars can even turn dangerous when their house of cards is falling.
This has the hazy feel of a victim of a narcissist trying to remember what is real and living in a cloud now. This is how I felt when when I left. Like, everything was so cloudy I didnt even know where to start talking or what to talk about. I just knew I felt this pervasive sense of danger and unwellness. Like, every bone in my body jittered. So, in that case... Leaving without warning was the ONLY move. An angry narcissist is an extremely dangerous and volatile person. In hindsight, with everything clear and obvious... I did it all correctly. And so did OP. Sometimes that feeling is more correct and real than anything else you "know." I know that now. Shoutout to all her friends and her former boss. Breaking from a narcissistic family system is one of the hardest things a person will ever do, because they literally break you down until you actually dont know what the truth is anymore. Relying on that instinct feels like literally leaping into a canyon and praying someone catches you. What a tremendous risk!
Wow, the NYE thing brings back old, sour memories. My ex left me hanging on Christmas Eve. We were supposed to be going to a family gathering at my Grandparents house (last one before grandma died and we had a good idea it would be that way). My ex was going for a drink with his coworkers after his half day of work. We had plans to go to the family gathering. HE GHOSTED ME for the afternoon at least . Didn’t show up until 10pm, high af and we were two hours from our destination. We obviously didn’t go. My grandma died February the next year. I hated him for that. It was the beginning of the end for us too. I have no sympathy for the husband. Many times with manipulators you have to leave without notice. I gave mine notice when I finally left and he stole our expensive items and sold them (like our lawn tractor). He drained the bank account which only had enough in to pay bills, bear in mind we had two small children. Emotional abusers and narcissists shouldn’t get notice. They will screw you over every time. I was a dummy who actually thought he was a good person that cared about his family. He was and still is a POS
Ryan is obviously a full blown narcissist and he got it from his mother. Sister is the wannbe, trying as hard as she can to be like them and following everything they say. POOR GEORGE! I really hope that group call woke him up and he saved himself. OP did what she needed to and saved herself. She did it all legally and methodically. 10/10 on that exit plan.
That man is a narcisist. He changed his way of treating her as soon as he understood how much she cared about him and he is using her as a tool to look good and for his career. Honestly, since he is not her husband or anything, her going quietly away imo is the best choice she could do, especially with that kind of family he has too.
Lying about a degree is most definitely a big issue. Most divorces end as a result of financial issues. If you lie about being more well off, or having more prospects, you are manipulating someone into dropping their standards and putting them in an unhappy relationship
40:16 I would say in defense of the Dad wanting the 2 grand back it may not of been a actual present. It would be one thing if he gave it to her as a actual wedding type of gift but it’s completely different if she went to her Dad and said something like “ Daddy I need money because I have all these debts that I need to pay off and the bill collectors are after me. If I don’t get the money I don’t even know if I’ll be able to afford to get married.” While I understand why some people would definitely need to do that especially in this economy she clearly lied about the reasons to which she wanted the money which makes her even more shady.
First of all, there are NO bad reasons to break up. If you're not feeling it, you're not feeling it. Second, if you DO feel you need a "good reason", then your partner LYING about such a huge piece of their life, leading to you not having a real understanding of the dynamic of your relationship, expecting you to pick up the slack you didn't even know was there, is a GREAT reason to end a relationship. Get out before there's kids and lawyers involved
yea we need Ryan! To answer the question "how is this behavior worthy of ending the relationship 2:50" very simple, he wants her to be his mum, taking all the responsibility and making the money and him just playing games. That is not a romantic relationship, that is a mother-child relationship and which woman wants to be married to a child??
Her bf says nothing and leaves to do what he wants, regardless of how his gf feels. The sil also ghosts and the bf just shrugs, so when the gf leaves its not gonna be any different, he should just shrug. Don't like it? don't do it. I had many times where I put my 100% into people, they became cold, distant and ghsoty and when I finally caught on and did the same they would get so pissed. Don't like it? don't do it.
At zero point in my life has lupus been a joke. Lesions on my skin in elementary school resulted in relentless bullying. The years I've had to nap away just to get enough energy to complete my day. The tasks I can no longer do. The $10,000 per monthly dose of infusions. Contemplations of risky and taboo treatments to avoid a lifetime of chemotherapy drugs. Literally for the rest of life! The years of not keeping food down. The pain that never goes away... WTAF is wrong with that man!? SLE is a horrible disease I don't even wish upon my cheating douchebag ex! How could someone be so incredibly vile as to joke about that!? I'm beside myself, I guess call me Karen...but I can't even with that man. OMG.
In regards to the 2k. If a gift is given for a specific thing aka for costs towards the wedding and that wasn't what it went to he has every right to get that back.
1st OP is literally just as immature as her husband for not having the lady balls to actually break up with her partner. Instead she silently built up resentment for years while enabling his bad behavior. Before deciding to literally ghost him IRL. The lack of empathy and maturity to even consider that an option is astounding.
Reacts to the degree and the New Years evening event. Barely comments initially on the repeated verbal abuse and constant deemening and disrespectfull attutide he has towards her, that he is starting a cycle of finacial abuse and that he is an aweful person who has gaslit her into thinking that she is the problem. - He hushes her - He tells her that her childhood memories are unimprotant - Is jealous and controling of her social connections - Can't hold a job! - Doesn't think he has to experience consequences - Constantly describes his past sexual experiences to her in order to demean her. - Keeps getting fired! She has such low self-esteem that she believes that she is the bad guy for not being in love with a jobless, leach who has demonstrated ZERO respect for her.
I will say my husband lied about having a high school degree but he’s also autistic and his mom told him to so I don’t think he was thinking about it. He corrected himself before things got serious and I took that to heart.
Hi John! I agree that giving some notice is good, but absolutely NOT if there is any risk of assault. For women, the most dangerous place is, unfortunately, the home where the partner is the big, not-so-lurking danger, and the most life-threatening period is when they leave/try to leave the relationship. So, yeah, notice is good, but please be aware of danger. Take care everyone.
Still on first story, no one is listening to OP or taking her calls in the first place. So how would she tell bf? And better question, why does it matter? You can’t reason with unreasonable people.
My SIL was my friend for almost twenty years before she married my brother. (I was 13 and she was 11 when we met.) I can’t imagine having such a toxic relationship with her. On the other hand, my other SIL (Husbands brothers partner) is a monster and has actively tried to destroy my marriage and my husbands relationship with his brother and his mother. I guess some people are just built different. I also have two BIL’s whom I adore.
people are so quick to call gold digger for women when they "date up" but when men do it, they start calling women greedy for just wanting an equal partner. Its always on the woman to let men down easy, or "communicate and express their feelings more" when clearly the other party is the one in the wrong.
I will just say I will never date a person that goes into detail about their exs and their sex lives to brag. I dated one of those people and turns out he was an emotionally unavailable sex addict. And cheater who was not willing to find help for himself. Not lying he straight up watched Reddit p🌽 while I was laying next to him… awake
Personally, I wouldn’t have told him anything at all. His family did not deserve a notice and he’s not my husband. These are adults they know better and they didn’t deserve a phone call either. NTA
Yes lying about a degree you don't have is worth leaving a partner for. Not because he doesn't have a degree, but that's one massive lie. Also, in this case, it severely impacts his earning potential and, depending on the degree, could even be illegal.
Should have no guilt for not helping him with starting a business ..... He's doing nothing towards obtaining his dream. With his juvenile attitude, none working, video self would never have never been able to run a restaurant .
Ther father knows he'll never see that 2k but demanding it baxk truly proves he's done. Now any attempt to reach out can be responded to with how to ger thec2k back & nothing else. His usimg children will soon stop callimg as other people are only seen as what they can do for them to OP's ex & his sister, the mum too.
I may be biased, because I also left my bf without a word. But I don’t see anything wrong with that. I did talk with him plenty of times about not being happy and why and I believe OP did too. I wasn’t respected in my relationship, nor is OP. And sometimes just disappearing is the only way you can set boundaries when you’ve been abused so much. And if we call victims a-holes for doing stuff like this they’ll stay in toxic relationships and will be scared to move on.
My boyfriend also left me on New Year's thinking I was going to be a weeping of violet and stay home and cry all night except I'm very strong-minded and strong-willed I told myself up to the 9th and went to my neighborhood bar and I had a blast without him I got so many three kisses on New Year's you would have thought I was Queen of Sheba the next day I got a U-Haul and right in front of him moved out he tried to beg me for 2 years to come back he finally got the point when you saw me at the neighborhood bar having dinner with somebody way younger than him and way good-looking than him and we were laughing and having a good old time
In general, NTA, but I do think OP went too far in revealing secrets and what was said behind everyone's back. When you're an SO, people tell you the absolute truth with full trust and you're expected to keep their secrets. Even if the relationship ends, I don't think you should ever speak things that were said to you within the context of that relationship. It's like being someone's lawyer - if you stop being their lawyer, it doesn't mean you can now violate the attorney-client privilege on all prior statements. Everything else was 100% deserved and OP is in the right. Definitely no obligation to host a wedding or to give advance notice!
I think that she should talk to him about why she's left, but I agree with her leaving without a word initially. People can get freaking crazy destructive when they find out they're about to be single. Best for her to move all her crap out of the house first, THEN talk to him. Because it's very clear she's going to leave. No amount of whining from him is going to change that. But he's far too immature to take her leaving like an adult. I foresee a massive man-baby style temper tantrum on being informed that she's leaving. so yea, get her stuff out first, THEN talk to him now that he can't wreck her stuff. She DID try to contact the SIL but the messages were left unread, if you recall. If SIL won't contact her back, how would they even begin to meet up to talk about the wedding issues?
Getting a degree takes time, effort, and dedication.
He didnt jus lie about how much money he could potentially make. He lied about how much dedication and commitment he could handle. And she feels tricked.
Not just this but this also gave the illusion that he would be an equal contributor to the household income. Instead she will end up having to support both of them and any children they will have if the relationship continues.
Lying about a degree is definitely a reason to leave your partner. Not because they don't have a degree, but because they lied and it's not like a little lie. In the future such a person can come up with worse lies.
People lie about their degrees and academic achievements ALL the time.
I worked in a top tier business school and I can’t tell you how many times relatives (kids, grandchildren mostly) came to us because they wanted to make a commemorative copy of that relative’s master’s thesis as a gift to them because they were so proud of that achievement. Only thing is, there’s never been a master’s thesis as part of their degree. There were no theses on file for these people. They did earn their degree, which is a huge achievement and no reason to embellish, but they couldn’t leave it at that.
Anyway, it’s one thing to lie about your credentials, but imho what’s worse is making no attempt to keep up with the lie by being successful in any part of their lives. It’s not about money, it’s about what you make of your life.
There is a story about a guy who had faked a degree and a career for years. When the lie was about to unravel, he killed his wife and kids and tried to cever it up with a fire. He was going to kill himself in the fire, but firefighters arrived too quickly and saved him.
@@masterprick1 Faking a career is big time, since it involves taking loads and loads of someone else’s money (usually the unsuspecting partner’s) and passing it off as your own. There’s no way to live that down.
@@annt7384And? It's still so fucked up and wrong.
We love you so much John! You are carrying OKOP right now and we appreciate you big time! Hope everyone comes back soon so you don't have to be all alone! HUGE LOVE OKOP FAM❤
We miss Riley
wait did sam leave okop?
@@aalokshah8655 no, he’s just out, John said he’d be back soon
Nope! No notice. If you have an extremely childish partner they can go full temper tantrum in a second and the rest of the family is unhinged. Dissapearing is for the best. Rational discussion is for rational people
I want to take this moment to thank John! for not abandoning us and for continuing to show up for us 🙏 we love you. Thank you for my daily tea 🍵
I watched a crime show on a man that lied about his degree, his work, and the house that she bought. Thinking they were so ahead and stable. When the lies all came out they had “a break in” and she was murdered. Which at end all his lies came out and he is now in jail for life. So possibly the way she talks of this family she may have saved her life by not telling him. Protect yourself first.
I don't blame her for preparing a safe exit without telling him, given that his family sounds unstable and violent.
It would be unwise of her to give him a heads up because he will likely tell his family and then she's stuck in a place with him and with his family coming over to literally attack her.
Sometimes it's essential to have a safe exit plan to protect yourself and your property.
Yeah, when she described the potential consequences as “yelling,” I was like “oh, so you sacked up enough to leave him, which it does sound like he deserves, but you can’t handle a little yelling? Don’t wanna hurt anyone’s feewings? I wouldn’t care about a little yelling-he and his fam can scream at her ‘til they’re blue in the face, but it won’t undo the past... but regardless of what he DESERVES, girl, you should tell him.”
Then she said that her MIL and SIL have assaulted people before, or even just bragged about it, and that’s when I was like “okay yeah, maybe make sure you have your stuff outta the house and he can’t physically lock you into whatever the venue of this confrontation is… THEN tell him.”
yeah i think john doesn’t take this sort of thing into account
This 💯
Yes. Potential domestic violence is nothing to mess with. If it's at all a risk that trying to get out will trigger retaliation, just get out as quickly and quietly as possible. There are organizations that help with this (planning ahead and getting out quietly) for exactly this reason.
This was not a safe exit. It was a petty break up. She did it because she enjoyed watching them panicked and confused. Literally giggling over speaker phone with her bestie. Don’t compare her to abuse victims, their exits actually take courage.
You don't need a "good" excuse to leave if you don't want to be with them. It's a relationship not a prison sentence. And you don't owe an explanation to them if you've complained repetitively about their sh*tty behavior. They know why you're leaving. You told them again and again.
I don't think she owes him an explanation. She could write him a letter if she cares enough to give him some amount of closure. As someone that had been through some things, I would tell anyone to get out if those feelings are strong for you. There's a reason that she wants to leave so badly.
The worst part about that relationship is that he made her responsible for his own success, without doing anything to get there himself. The way OP described him sounds like he expected her to pull success for him out of thin air, while he big chills in the meantime. Sorry bud.. it just doesn’t work like that…
Yes, lying about the degree is worth breaking up with someone. As you said yourself it's about a major life achievement. If he's willing to lie about that, how much else has he lied about? If he's going to lie about something so huge, is ANYTHING that comes out of his mouth even the truth. How can you ever trust anything he says? Trust and honesty are important in a life partner. You also add all this other behavior of his into it and no...he's NOT a keeper.
I love those longer videos ❤ it's a pity everyone's abandoning John :( hahaha
#JusticeForOurBoyJohn
We miss Sam and Riley... you are doing a great job John!
Sam seems like a great guy but I find him annoying when he reads story’s
Disagreed. You dont get a better/funnier combo than Sam and John
Sam n John r the main ones what u mean?
Nvm I figured it out. I love all 3 of them be nice yapl
Yes she should leave without giving him an explaination. You say that she should talk to him about the things that are bothering her, but she clearly did and he blew it off like it was nothing.
Lying about a degree is a lot for me like that's lying about an identity
The worst part of cheating is the lying and subsequent breach of trust. So, yes, any situation in which lying is involved will result in a breach of trust. That's the ultimate relationship killer.
We miss you, Sam! Thanks for holding up the show, John. You’re amazing 😊
I love the single episodes but miss the bouncing of ideas and opinions going on between each of them (John, Riley, Sam, and all the guests). They do great regardless!👏👏👏
Story 1: Nothing better than a group meeting to cut out miscommunication. The group meeting was great for cutting out the constant gossip
Never the AH for getting out of an abusive relationship.
Poor lady. Good that she managed to escape.
Why do they keep abandoning my boy John?
All the love, John! (We miss Riley and Sam but we adore you for keeping us entertained every day.) ❤❤❤
Shw absolutely did the right thing. Those people sound dangerous
John you’re doing awesome 👏 all the hard work is not going unnoticed. We love you!
She owes him nothing, especially since he treated her like an 🏧 & refused to communicate with her, it's not like she left him homeless, he can live with his mom. As for the wedding, she reached out & was ignored her so that's her problem. Hopefully she can find a job closer to home so she can be with her kids.
Am I the only one who prefers just John? 😂
I feel the same👌🏽🤣
John is carrying 🤌🏼💯
I don't agree, but everyone is entitled to their opinion
Nah, best combo is John, Sam, and Boxhead.
He's my favorite of the usual duo, but I like when someone is there to create a conversation/disagree with some things. Like John saying "is it grounds to break up just because he lied about his degree?" Sam would've popped in to say "well yeah bro, wtf, thats a huge thing".
Plus, when he's alone he's mainly just reading the story with a tiny bit of extra input (Not his fault, it's hard to have a conversation with just yourself). If I wanted to just have reddit stories, I would get back on the app and read them myself a month before these videos are released. Or I'd watch those other youtube videos that play cheap mobile games and read the posts in a robotic voice. The reason I watch OKOP is for that conversation.
Damn we need to help George escape too😂😅
John, we miss everyone when they are not on an episode, you included. You’re the best hype man!
Glad you’re getting into GoT… some seasons are slow and not great, but just trust and watch to the end
I would 100% leave someone for lying about their degree. Younger and dumber me dated two guys who lied to their families about something huge (one about his degree). Turns out they also lied about other stuff and had major unaddressed issues that lead them to lie about these things. What a surprise, I know! To anybody out there: DO NOT STAY WITH LIARS, EVEN IF THE LIE IS NOT ABOUT YOU
The group call was a perfect ending. Perfect.!!!
You're doing great, John!!! I like when you read the stories... you have a great voice!
What the hell? How is lying about a degree not an instant 'leave him '. Honestly, just the stuff she listed before is enough to pack the bags and go. Are our standards really so low that it's just fine for us to have a partner that doesn't blatantly abuse us and our trust?
Well She Is Completely Valid Some People just fall out of love or were never truly in love or just in love with certain things about him but she's completely right. Also NOT THE A-HOLE
Definitely lying about a degree can be a reason to a leave person. Not because he doesn't have a degree but because he is lying big deal. And we even have widely known cases where someone is lying about his degree, later on about work and lies pile more and more until liar ends up unaliving his/her family members because his/her lies start to fall appart and they are not ready to face it. There isn't just one case like that, there have been several cases like that, so these big liars can even turn dangerous when their house of cards is falling.
You're doing a great job John! We miss you Sam and Riley!!
John, you’re my fav! Thanks for posting even if it’s by yourself 🖤
This has the hazy feel of a victim of a narcissist trying to remember what is real and living in a cloud now. This is how I felt when when I left. Like, everything was so cloudy I didnt even know where to start talking or what to talk about. I just knew I felt this pervasive sense of danger and unwellness. Like, every bone in my body jittered.
So, in that case... Leaving without warning was the ONLY move. An angry narcissist is an extremely dangerous and volatile person.
In hindsight, with everything clear and obvious... I did it all correctly. And so did OP. Sometimes that feeling is more correct and real than anything else you "know." I know that now.
Shoutout to all her friends and her former boss. Breaking from a narcissistic family system is one of the hardest things a person will ever do, because they literally break you down until you actually dont know what the truth is anymore. Relying on that instinct feels like literally leaping into a canyon and praying someone catches you. What a tremendous risk!
❤ you Riley and Samuel! 😊 Of course you too, Jon!
Leave him in the dust!! Let sil come in to get ready and blocked them
I like the single episodes it'll help show y'all abilities to work separately as well as together.
I miss it when either one of y’all aren’t there together. That food to the both of you.
Wow, the NYE thing brings back old, sour memories. My ex left me hanging on Christmas Eve. We were supposed to be going to a family gathering at my Grandparents house (last one before grandma died and we had a good idea it would be that way). My ex was going for a drink with his coworkers after his half day of work. We had plans to go to the family gathering. HE GHOSTED ME for the afternoon at least . Didn’t show up until 10pm, high af and we were two hours from our destination. We obviously didn’t go. My grandma died February the next year. I hated him for that. It was the beginning of the end for us too. I have no sympathy for the husband. Many times with manipulators you have to leave without notice. I gave mine notice when I finally left and he stole our expensive items and sold them (like our lawn tractor). He drained the bank account which only had enough in to pay bills, bear in mind we had two small children. Emotional abusers and narcissists shouldn’t get notice. They will screw you over every time. I was a dummy who actually thought he was a good person that cared about his family. He was and still is a POS
Glad to see you John 😊
Ryan is obviously a full blown narcissist and he got it from his mother. Sister is the wannbe, trying as hard as she can to be like them and following everything they say. POOR GEORGE! I really hope that group call woke him up and he saved himself. OP did what she needed to and saved herself. She did it all legally and methodically. 10/10 on that exit plan.
That man is a narcisist. He changed his way of treating her as soon as he understood how much she cared about him and he is using her as a tool to look good and for his career. Honestly, since he is not her husband or anything, her going quietly away imo is the best choice she could do, especially with that kind of family he has too.
I enjoy your videos. Some people read too slow and it makes me so angry 😂 you read perfectly at a good pace! Thanks for that 😂
Considering my husband lied to me about his degree and graduating high school, yes it’s definitely justified to leave them if that’s the case imo
We miss Riley!! Btw you are doing a great job!!
Love OKOP! 🎉
Lying about a degree is most definitely a big issue. Most divorces end as a result of financial issues. If you lie about being more well off, or having more prospects, you are manipulating someone into dropping their standards and putting them in an unhappy relationship
I feel the first story sooo much
Riley is busy ‘rosing’ his chickens.
40:16 I would say in defense of the Dad wanting the 2 grand back it may not of been a actual present. It would be one thing if he gave it to her as a actual wedding type of gift but it’s completely different if she went to her Dad and said something like “ Daddy I need money because I have all these debts that I need to pay off and the bill collectors are after me. If I don’t get the money I don’t even know if I’ll be able to afford to get married.” While I understand why some people would definitely need to do that especially in this economy she clearly lied about the reasons to which she wanted the money which makes her even more shady.
Where is everyone? Great job John! Love your work 😊watching from Australia
First of all, there are NO bad reasons to break up. If you're not feeling it, you're not feeling it. Second, if you DO feel you need a "good reason", then your partner LYING about such a huge piece of their life, leading to you not having a real understanding of the dynamic of your relationship, expecting you to pick up the slack you didn't even know was there, is a GREAT reason to end a relationship. Get out before there's kids and lawyers involved
yea we need Ryan! To answer the question "how is this behavior worthy of ending the relationship 2:50" very simple, he wants her to be his mum, taking all the responsibility and making the money and him just playing games. That is not a romantic relationship, that is a mother-child relationship and which woman wants to be married to a child??
Lying about having a certain degree could lead to legal issues with an employer if he messes up something.
16:01 how could you guys abandon our boy John! #JusticeForOurBoy 💗🤧
Her bf says nothing and leaves to do what he wants, regardless of how his gf feels. The sil also ghosts and the bf just shrugs, so when the gf leaves its not gonna be any different, he should just shrug. Don't like it? don't do it.
I had many times where I put my 100% into people, they became cold, distant and ghsoty and when I finally caught on and did the same they would get so pissed. Don't like it? don't do it.
At zero point in my life has lupus been a joke. Lesions on my skin in elementary school resulted in relentless bullying.
The years I've had to nap away just to get enough energy to complete my day.
The tasks I can no longer do.
The $10,000 per monthly dose of infusions.
Contemplations of risky and taboo treatments to avoid a lifetime of chemotherapy drugs. Literally for the rest of life!
The years of not keeping food down.
The pain that never goes away...
WTAF is wrong with that man!?
SLE is a horrible disease I don't even wish upon my cheating douchebag ex! How could someone be so incredibly vile as to joke about that!? I'm beside myself, I guess call me Karen...but I can't even with that man. OMG.
YOU ARE APPRECIATED!!!
🙌🏼John, you are doing great solo!
In regards to the 2k. If a gift is given for a specific thing aka for costs towards the wedding and that wasn't what it went to he has every right to get that back.
Honestly, I don't blame OP for doing what she did. Lord knows how things would have turned out if she gave the ex a head's up
One lie questions a thousand truths. And he lied about something huge so what else is he lying about
Love you John ❤️❤️ solo episodes are just as good !! Your voice soothes my brain 🧠 but yes we love all da bois
John- the real MVP
1st OP is literally just as immature as her husband for not having the lady balls to actually break up with her partner. Instead she silently built up resentment for years while enabling his bad behavior. Before deciding to literally ghost him IRL. The lack of empathy and maturity to even consider that an option is astounding.
First story, I'm sure she has had many conversations with him and they were ineffectual
John aka the man who carries the show
Riley aka the man who gate keeps and works in the background
Sam aka the man who can rizz everyone and vibes out
OP is a savage. I like OP.
You can’t give notice to an abuser
Referring to first op story, how on earth did she ever connect and stay with this person?
i miss Riley and Sam!!! However, I am loving these solo
stories!!!
Reacts to the degree and the New Years evening event. Barely comments initially on the repeated verbal abuse and constant deemening and disrespectfull attutide he has towards her, that he is starting a cycle of finacial abuse and that he is an aweful person who has gaslit her into thinking that she is the problem.
- He hushes her
- He tells her that her childhood memories are unimprotant
- Is jealous and controling of her social connections
- Can't hold a job!
- Doesn't think he has to experience consequences
- Constantly describes his past sexual experiences to her in order to demean her.
- Keeps getting fired!
She has such low self-esteem that she believes that she is the bad guy for not being in love with a jobless, leach who has demonstrated ZERO respect for her.
I will say my husband lied about having a high school degree but he’s also autistic and his mom told him to so I don’t think he was thinking about it. He corrected himself before things got serious and I took that to heart.
Hi John! I agree that giving some notice is good, but absolutely NOT if there is any risk of assault. For women, the most dangerous place is, unfortunately, the home where the partner is the big, not-so-lurking danger, and the most life-threatening period is when they leave/try to leave the relationship. So, yeah, notice is good, but please be aware of danger.
Take care everyone.
What the hell?! Lying about a degree is the SMALLEST red flag and everything you’ve said has been a red flag!
Still on first story, no one is listening to OP or taking her calls in the first place. So how would she tell bf? And better question, why does it matter? You can’t reason with unreasonable people.
They lied. A lie is a lie. It means he doesn’t love or trust you enough to be honest. Drop him like a bad habit, kick me out of your life.
OP needs to dump this deadbeat. Love her life and find someone that is on your level
My SIL was my friend for almost twenty years before she married my brother. (I was 13 and she was 11 when we met.) I can’t imagine having such a toxic relationship with her. On the other hand, my other SIL (Husbands brothers partner) is a monster and has actively tried to destroy my marriage and my husbands relationship with his brother and his mother. I guess some people are just built different.
I also have two BIL’s whom I adore.
Okay, three including my husbands brother.
people are so quick to call gold digger for women when they "date up" but when men do it, they start calling women greedy for just wanting an equal partner. Its always on the woman to let men down easy, or "communicate and express their feelings more" when clearly the other party is the one in the wrong.
Y’all are the best part of my day ❤
I will just say I will never date a person that goes into detail about their exs and their sex lives to brag. I dated one of those people and turns out he was an emotionally unavailable sex addict. And cheater who was not willing to find help for himself. Not lying he straight up watched Reddit p🌽 while I was laying next to him… awake
Personally, I wouldn’t have told him anything at all. His family did not deserve a notice and he’s not my husband. These are adults they know better and they didn’t deserve a phone call either. NTA
Is Sam.... Alive?
Keep up the good work John!
Yes lying about a degree you don't have is worth leaving a partner for. Not because he doesn't have a degree, but that's one massive lie. Also, in this case, it severely impacts his earning potential and, depending on the degree, could even be illegal.
I really like John's solo shows so much, but I miss the others too
The lying about the degree yes they warrants breaking up. If you are able to lie about something like that I don’t wanna be involved with you
Should have no guilt for not helping him with starting a business ..... He's doing nothing towards obtaining his dream. With his juvenile attitude, none working, video self would never have never been able to run a restaurant .
Also I don’t miss them , I like you alone John 😊😊😊 lol
Love you John! Miss Sam and Riley! Are they ok?
Ther father knows he'll never see that 2k but demanding it baxk truly proves he's done. Now any attempt to reach out can be responded to with how to ger thec2k back & nothing else. His usimg children will soon stop callimg as other people are only seen as what they can do for them to OP's ex & his sister, the mum too.
I may be biased, because I also left my bf without a word. But I don’t see anything wrong with that. I did talk with him plenty of times about not being happy and why and I believe OP did too. I wasn’t respected in my relationship, nor is OP. And sometimes just disappearing is the only way you can set boundaries when you’ve been abused so much. And if we call victims a-holes for doing stuff like this they’ll stay in toxic relationships and will be scared to move on.
My boyfriend also left me on New Year's thinking I was going to be a weeping of violet and stay home and cry all night except I'm very strong-minded and strong-willed I told myself up to the 9th and went to my neighborhood bar and I had a blast without him I got so many three kisses on New Year's you would have thought I was Queen of Sheba the next day I got a U-Haul and right in front of him moved out he tried to beg me for 2 years to come back he finally got the point when you saw me at the neighborhood bar having dinner with somebody way younger than him and way good-looking than him and we were laughing and having a good old time
In general, NTA, but I do think OP went too far in revealing secrets and what was said behind everyone's back. When you're an SO, people tell you the absolute truth with full trust and you're expected to keep their secrets. Even if the relationship ends, I don't think you should ever speak things that were said to you within the context of that relationship. It's like being someone's lawyer - if you stop being their lawyer, it doesn't mean you can now violate the attorney-client privilege on all prior statements. Everything else was 100% deserved and OP is in the right. Definitely no obligation to host a wedding or to give advance notice!
I think that she should talk to him about why she's left, but I agree with her leaving without a word initially. People can get freaking crazy destructive when they find out they're about to be single. Best for her to move all her crap out of the house first, THEN talk to him. Because it's very clear she's going to leave. No amount of whining from him is going to change that. But he's far too immature to take her leaving like an adult. I foresee a massive man-baby style temper tantrum on being informed that she's leaving. so yea, get her stuff out first, THEN talk to him now that he can't wreck her stuff.
She DID try to contact the SIL but the messages were left unread, if you recall. If SIL won't contact her back, how would they even begin to meet up to talk about the wedding issues?
John is over powered 💪🏼
YOU GO JOHN!🎉