Wow, everything you said is just like me! Even the way you talk really reminds of myself!! The way you intermittently pause and speed up and sigh or take deep breaths (in slight frustration or exasperation at trying to articulate what's in your head) is JUST like me! I'm a 49 year old female INTJ. I had the same experience as you. As a child I watched Grisly Adams and Little House on the Prairie and Land of the Lost and read My Side of the Mountain and I wanted SO BADLY to be the boy in that book, to live alone self-sufficiently in nature. Or to be Grisly Adams for the same reasons. And now I'm into prepping and bushcraft. I also loved reading and was always reading something. My mom was an AVID reader my entire life and we went to the library as a matter of routine. It was so fun to read! I used to read the classics and true crime and sociological or supernatural fantasy (e.g. A Wrinkle in Time, The Hobbit, etc.) or non-fiction. Now I focus on practical books that help me achieve my life's goals (self-help and business and spiritual goals). As a child, I was amazed at how "stupid" people were and it bothered me! I was always flummoxed at the idiotic things people would do. At age 8, I told my mother "I do not respect her mind." in reference to my step-mom (an ESFJ). My mom tried to explain that people are unique and for me to be more understanding. But it was HARD! Still is hard at times although I have learned to see the value in all types of people. I have also always loved organics and sustainability and nature and camping and I earned my degrees in marine biology and wildlife and fisheries sciences. Now I own my own web design business and work in IT. My mom was an INFJ and Dad was an ENTJ so I felt comfortable at home mostly. Lots of great philosophical or Ni types of conversations. But social world was like a blindside when I became a teenager and I just avoided almost all social interactions except I enjoyed being in band and I always had a best friend or two. At 20, I deliberately began taking jobs waiting tables and bartending to force myself to learn social skills and read a LOT of self-help books over the years and learned to be really comfortable socially. Now I would say I'm quite good and very confident in social interactions. But I still MUCH prefer and enjoy being at home, in my sanctuary of learning and planning! :-)
Aubrey Oh wow!! Very similar story just like you said. I can’t believe it, all those books you mentioned were my childhood favorites too.. I was obsessed with them. Thank You so much for your comment it was very intriguing. Glad you enjoyed.
Interesting, another INTJ female here, and we have a lot of similarities: thinking we didn't fit in, becoming kind of anti-social around adolescence, being more observant than we let on, and always striving towards self-improvement. Really great video :)
+Michael Freed.. INTJ female here... I also felt more free re the opinions of others when i started to understand our personality type. i can better embrace who i am & i've become more assertive. You really put it very well!
Wow. I relate a lot also. I'm also INTJ female. 1. My mom was also an ENTP. 2. My interest growing up was the universe and animal science. I use to love Harry Potter type imaginary worlds (that was my escape from reality). 3. As a teenager I also naturally mimicked my friends (I usually only had one good one and a few associates). I would keep my true interests secret but at some point I started to recognize that I was a little different (or at least my interest were). 4. Extremely observant of people's actions and decisions. Learned early to avoid people that repeatedly broke promises. 5. I'm now 30 and I'm still "progressing my life". Lol that shit never ends. 6. I also dislike the INTJ (cold, bitch) stereotype. I'm just quiet, honest, and direct. My intentions are never "oh let me be a bitch to this person...". It would be nice if other personalities weren't so quick to judge us INTJs. We're just regular people who just so happen to be extremely interested in irregular topics.
INTJ male here & you hit the nail on the coffin when u explained that around pre-teen years is when u really get that sense of feeling different then your peers. It was actually a bit frustrating cause I knew it wasn’t just something flying by in my consciousness , I’m realizing now at 19 that it’s only a gift of one my qualities to think thoroughly about things. Unlike u though my home was unstable due to 7 person household growing up & I usually seeked sanctuary at friends & families: I felt comfortable knowing I was out and about preoccupying my mind back then. This led to me having a way.. way bigger social bubble then the shy little kid of my former self would’ve ever thought I would’ve had.
Anthony That is good you were able to create a nice Social group even though your environment was not ideal. I know for myself and other INTJ’s we become more connected when we put effort into it. And it’s a good growing process. Even though it may be hard sometime..
I put myself through hell because I believed I needed to learn to socialize better in order to be successful. I needed to learn certain social skills, but people wanted to change me. I didn't know when to walk away. My self-esteem dropped so low because I couldn't be the person they wanted me to be, and they were angry with me. It was a Big learning lesson.
Having this revelation of myself for me was FINALLY finding that long lost piece of my soul. That question of “why am I like this” “why am I so different” ... Every day ponding, nagging. Then I would try and fail and just feel more depressed because nothing I tried helped. I’ve gotten to where sarcasm and a smile are my tools. I learned to read body language, listen to tone, speech & pace for context of people’s emtions and what they may be thinking. So now I’m seeing why some people may think I’m just really really smart and not a mad scientist. But some ppl know my wheels are turning. Just don’t think they know the extent. Thinking about the ways I’ve tried to interact with people just makes me sad. I would have been much better off without trying to engage.
"An INTJ wouldnt ever do that." Thats the system speaking through someone lol. Gotta unplug and realise the INTJ/INFJ has ALOT of complexity. Summarising that into a profile description and the reasons as to why they may display certain characteristics just isnt possible. I can relate to so much shared here thank you for sharing.
I think that this is really interesting you loved books. I loved storys! You were dyslexic but I don't think that learning to read was as difficult as it was for me. When I was little I envied my older brothers ability to read. It also was pretty frustrating because if he was reading he didn't want to pay with me and I couldn't just pick up my own book and read it because I couldn't read. It was a great pleasure when I could finally read a book with out getting mentally exhausted. Some of my best memories are of some one reading to me or listening to an audiobook.🗡🙂🛡
I love watching other INTJs. You want to say it,but either you know the truth will offend people,or your super complex intuitive "knowings" are way to difficult to put into words. You want to start explaining them (deconstructing it into words).but quickly realize that it will take at least a million words and much will still be lost in translation,so you will always be hesitant to say much on the topic (unless you are taking to another intuitive deep thinker).Your audience here (the internet)is probable nothing but that.
Gord Thor Hahaha.. That's a pretty accurate description of my communication style unfortunately.. I also enjoy watching others videos too. That's why I have made some of my own, for others amusement... 😄
Male INTJ Here. This is one of the few MB videos on RUclips that I have found interesting. Growing up and throughout high school I had absolutely no issues making friends, in fact I always had a very large group of friends. Although, at the time I knew it was partially an act I was putting on to fit in because this seemed to be what was expected by society. As I got older (mid 20's) this started to become draining and I couldn't nor did I want to keep it up. Whether this was the right decision or not I have basically cut contact with all bar a few friends, moved to a new city and have somewhat faded into obscurity. Even to this day whether it be through work or outside of work, I still have people wanting to socialize with me but now I actively avoid making any new friends. I just repeatedly say no to social invitations until they get sick of asking and give up. The one thing that irritates me though is that although I never had issues making friends I feel as though I would be more likely to find the cure to cancer than to work out how to get a girlfriend. Finding out I am an INTJ has made me understand why I have struggled with romantic relationships but I still don't know how to fix this problem...
trouser python Yes, I agree with struggling with the same problem. I can get so distracted on my interest that I forget to maintain relationships. Plus I forget that a lot of people don't need or want, as much space as I do. So it's something I'm working on.
I can relate to what you have said, except that I'm a little younger and I'm going to use my vacation to disappear from people's view. I even told my mom I didn't want to see anyone in these 2 months and she asked if I had depression, haha. Also, the romantic relationship is something I was about to comment. How does an INTJ manage to have one? It seems impossible to me, that amount of feelings that comes along actually liking someone is overwhelming and analyzing and rationalizing everything just doesn't work out, not to mention the physical thing and uh... Yeah, its hard.
lol same with me, I get frustrated not able to write editorial because I am involve in the school paper. I was crying like hell because I badly want to do it but I don't know how. And now, I think I've got a lot of improvements in writing lol.
lol... i also grew up with loads of books in & around my bed... my parents thought i was weird because i had no interest in dolls (& such)...& i just wanted my books around me all the time. they said they would hear the books falling off my bed sometimes while i slept. i think i'm finding my peeps here (INTJ's)..... :)
Michael Freed I couldn’t help myself but to comment on this. When I was younger I was in a horticultural environment with a strong permaculture bend. And even now I still have a strong horticulture environment. I really respect the mindset of most horticulturist and find it enlightening. That field seems to draw a unique set of people that are often outside of the box thinkers. I’m not sure how well most people understand the huge differences in the agriculture and horticulture communities. The whole mindset on worldview, environment, and sustainability. Is often vastly different between these two communities. Similar to how it was mentioned in the video clip.
Michael Freed Yes, I would like to hear what you have to say on this subject. This is very interesting topic to me. Sorry if it seemed that I was bringing up something trivial. That was not my intention..
Gord Thor Well, that probably has to do with all the ntp's I have in my life. My judging function might not come across well on video. But it is very much their, to all my ntp's great annoyance.. Believe me, they have sure tried hard to soften that side of me.
Philamin Francis I think two NT types together can be very dynamic. My best friends are NT types. But two exact types have way to many of the same weakness.. I know, I really come out of my shell and accomplish things when I'm doing projects with dynamic ENTP's and ENTJ's.. 👌🏽
Bro&Sis That is true,but for a romantic relationship you need to find yourself an ENFP. Each type shores up the weaknesses of the other. An INTJ and ENFP relationship can be magical if both types are mature. Both types can be their true self and they will have a ton of fun (childlike),even doing things like grocery shopping.
Wow, everything you said is just like me! Even the way you talk really reminds of myself!! The way you intermittently pause and speed up and sigh or take deep breaths (in slight frustration or exasperation at trying to articulate what's in your head) is JUST like me! I'm a 49 year old female INTJ. I had the same experience as you. As a child I watched Grisly Adams and Little House on the Prairie and Land of the Lost and read My Side of the Mountain and I wanted SO BADLY to be the boy in that book, to live alone self-sufficiently in nature. Or to be Grisly Adams for the same reasons. And now I'm into prepping and bushcraft. I also loved reading and was always reading something. My mom was an AVID reader my entire life and we went to the library as a matter of routine. It was so fun to read! I used to read the classics and true crime and sociological or supernatural fantasy (e.g. A Wrinkle in Time, The Hobbit, etc.) or non-fiction.
Now I focus on practical books that help me achieve my life's goals (self-help and business and spiritual goals). As a child, I was amazed at how "stupid" people were and it bothered me! I was always flummoxed at the idiotic things people would do. At age 8, I told my mother "I do not respect her mind." in reference to my step-mom (an ESFJ). My mom tried to explain that people are unique and for me to be more understanding. But it was HARD! Still is hard at times although I have learned to see the value in all types of people. I have also always loved organics and sustainability and nature and camping and I earned my degrees in marine biology and wildlife and fisheries sciences. Now I own my own web design business and work in IT.
My mom was an INFJ and Dad was an ENTJ so I felt comfortable at home mostly. Lots of great philosophical or Ni types of conversations. But social world was like a blindside when I became a teenager and I just avoided almost all social interactions except I enjoyed being in band and I always had a best friend or two. At 20, I deliberately began taking jobs waiting tables and bartending to force myself to learn social skills and read a LOT of self-help books over the years and learned to be really comfortable socially. Now I would say I'm quite good and very confident in social interactions. But I still MUCH prefer and enjoy being at home, in my sanctuary of learning and planning! :-)
Aubrey Oh wow!! Very similar story just like you said. I can’t believe it, all those books you mentioned were my childhood favorites too.. I was obsessed with them. Thank You so much for your comment it was very intriguing. Glad you enjoyed.
I'm a 40+ yr old INTJ male. I completely understand and relate to what you've expressed and how you've expressed it. Thank you.
Your Welcome!
Interesting, another INTJ female here, and we have a lot of similarities: thinking we didn't fit in, becoming kind of anti-social around adolescence, being more observant than we let on, and always striving towards self-improvement. Really great video :)
INTJ & INFP Coffee That is very interesting.. Thank You, and glad you enjoyed it.
+Michael Freed.. INTJ female here... I also felt more free re the opinions of others when i started to understand our personality type. i can better embrace who i am & i've become more assertive. You really put it very well!
Wow. I relate a lot also. I'm also INTJ female.
1. My mom was also an ENTP.
2. My interest growing up was the universe and animal science. I use to love Harry Potter type imaginary worlds (that was my escape from reality).
3. As a teenager I also naturally mimicked my friends (I usually only had one good one and a few associates). I would keep my true interests secret but at some point I started to recognize that I was a little different (or at least my interest were).
4. Extremely observant of people's actions and decisions. Learned early to avoid people that repeatedly broke promises.
5. I'm now 30 and I'm still "progressing my life". Lol that shit never ends.
6. I also dislike the INTJ (cold, bitch) stereotype. I'm just quiet, honest, and direct. My intentions are never "oh let me be a bitch to this person...". It would be nice if other personalities weren't so quick to judge us INTJs.
We're just regular people who just so happen to be extremely interested in irregular topics.
Andria Sanders Love your thoughts.. It is so nice to know that there are other like-minded individuals with similar experiences. :)
You're very lucky to have an ENTP mom and INTP brother!! I have an ESFJ mother haha you can imagine.
Kat A. Yes, I do count my self as very lucky to be in this situation. Sometimes I shake my head knowing I did nothing to deserve it..
Kat A... haha me too i also have an ESxx mother (she's never been tested but i'm sure she is ES--something)... still lots of problems to this day.
INTJ male here & you hit the nail on the coffin when u explained that around pre-teen years is when u really get that sense of feeling different then your peers. It was actually a bit frustrating cause I knew it wasn’t just something flying by in my consciousness , I’m realizing now at 19 that it’s only a gift of one my qualities to think thoroughly about things. Unlike u though my home was unstable due to 7 person household growing up & I usually seeked sanctuary at friends & families: I felt comfortable knowing I was out and about preoccupying my mind back then. This led to me having a way.. way bigger social bubble then the shy little kid of my former self would’ve ever thought I would’ve had.
Anthony That is good you were able to create a nice Social group even though your environment was not ideal. I know for myself and other INTJ’s we become more connected when we put effort into it. And it’s a good growing process. Even though it may be hard sometime..
I put myself through hell because I believed I needed to learn to socialize better in order to be successful. I needed to learn certain social skills, but people wanted to change me. I didn't know when to walk away. My self-esteem dropped so low because I couldn't be the person they wanted me to be, and they were angry with me. It was a Big learning lesson.
Having this revelation of myself for me was FINALLY finding that long lost piece of my soul. That question of “why am I like this” “why am I so different” ... Every day ponding, nagging. Then I would try and fail and just feel more depressed because nothing I tried helped. I’ve gotten to where sarcasm and a smile are my tools. I learned to read body language, listen to tone, speech & pace for context of people’s emtions and what they may be thinking. So now I’m seeing why some people may think I’m just really really smart and not a mad scientist. But some ppl know my wheels are turning. Just don’t think they know the extent. Thinking about the ways I’ve tried to interact with people just makes me sad. I would have been much better off without trying to engage.
Ashley Jackson Yes, this struggle is frustrating... I still have not figured out a balance..
"An INTJ wouldnt ever do that." Thats the system speaking through someone lol. Gotta unplug and realise the INTJ/INFJ has ALOT of complexity. Summarising that into a profile description and the reasons as to why they may display certain characteristics just isnt possible. I can relate to so much shared here thank you for sharing.
Thee Parris Hill Thank You!
Yup. .INFJ🤘
I think that most INTJs love to read like my INTJ brother.
I think that this is really interesting you loved books. I loved storys! You were dyslexic but I don't think that learning to read was as difficult as it was for me. When I was little I envied my older brothers ability to read. It also was pretty frustrating because if he was reading he didn't want to pay with me and I couldn't just pick up my own book and read it because I couldn't read. It was a great pleasure when I could finally read a book with out getting mentally exhausted. Some of my best memories are of some one reading to me or listening to an audiobook.🗡🙂🛡
I love watching other INTJs. You want to say it,but either you know the truth will offend people,or your super complex intuitive "knowings" are way to difficult to put into words. You want to start explaining them (deconstructing it into words).but quickly realize that it will take at least a million words and much will still be lost in translation,so you will always be hesitant to say much on the topic (unless you are taking to another intuitive deep thinker).Your audience here (the internet)is probable nothing but that.
Gord Thor Hahaha.. That's a pretty accurate description of my communication style unfortunately.. I also enjoy watching others videos too. That's why I have made some of my own, for others amusement... 😄
Male INTJ Here. This is one of the few MB videos on RUclips that I have found interesting.
Growing up and throughout high school I had absolutely no issues making friends, in fact I always had a very large group of friends. Although, at the time I knew it was partially an act I was putting on to fit in because this seemed to be what was expected by society. As I got older (mid 20's) this started to become draining and I couldn't nor did I want to keep it up. Whether this was the right decision or not I have basically cut contact with all bar a few friends, moved to a new city and have somewhat faded into obscurity. Even to this day whether it be through work or outside of work, I still have people wanting to socialize with me but now I actively avoid making any new friends. I just repeatedly say no to social invitations until they get sick of asking and give up. The one thing that irritates me though is that although I never had issues making friends I feel as though I would be more likely to find the cure to cancer than to work out how to get a girlfriend. Finding out I am an INTJ has made me understand why I have struggled with romantic relationships but I still don't know how to fix this problem...
trouser python Yes, I agree with struggling with the same problem. I can get so distracted on my interest that I forget to maintain relationships. Plus I forget that a lot of people don't need or want, as much space as I do. So it's something I'm working on.
I can relate to what you have said, except that I'm a little younger and I'm going to use my vacation to disappear from people's view. I even told my mom I didn't want to see anyone in these 2 months and she asked if I had depression, haha. Also, the romantic relationship is something I was about to comment. How does an INTJ manage to have one? It seems impossible to me, that amount of feelings that comes along actually liking someone is overwhelming and analyzing and rationalizing everything just doesn't work out, not to mention the physical thing and uh... Yeah, its hard.
lol same with me, I get frustrated not able to write editorial because I am involve in the school paper. I was crying like hell because I badly want to do it but I don't know how. And now, I think I've got a lot of improvements in writing lol.
margarett dimailig Time is precious.. There never seems enough of it for all the great ideas and projects.
lol... i also grew up with loads of books in & around my bed... my parents thought i was weird because i had no interest in dolls (& such)...& i just wanted my books around me all the time. they said they would hear the books falling off my bed sometimes while i slept. i think i'm finding my peeps here (INTJ's)..... :)
d doyle Same.. Glad to know I’m not the only one. :)
Michael Freed I have always had endless thirst for knowledge... So I know what you mean about having to find out for yourself.
+Michael Freed.. feisty from the start!
Michael Freed I couldn’t help myself but to comment on this. When I was younger I was in a horticultural environment with a strong permaculture bend. And even now I still have a strong horticulture environment. I really respect the mindset of most horticulturist and find it enlightening. That field seems to draw a unique set of people that are often outside of the box thinkers. I’m not sure how well most people understand the huge differences in the agriculture and horticulture communities. The whole mindset on worldview, environment, and sustainability. Is often vastly different between these two communities. Similar to how it was mentioned in the video clip.
Michael Freed Yes, I would like to hear what you have to say on this subject. This is very interesting topic to me. Sorry if it seemed that I was bringing up something trivial. That was not my intention..
You seem like an INTPish INTJ like myself. Have you ever taken a functions test to see if you score high in Ti,Ne and even Si?
Gord Thor Well, that probably has to do with all the ntp's I have in my life. My judging function might not come across well on video. But it is very much their, to all my ntp's great annoyance.. Believe me, they have sure tried hard to soften that side of me.
INTJ male here. Marry me
Philamin Francis I think two NT types together can be very dynamic. My best friends are NT types. But two exact types have way to many of the same weakness.. I know, I really come out of my shell and accomplish things when I'm doing projects with dynamic ENTP's and ENTJ's.. 👌🏽
Bro&Sis That is true,but for a romantic relationship you need to find yourself an ENFP. Each type shores up the weaknesses of the other. An INTJ and ENFP relationship can be magical if both types are mature. Both types can be their true self and they will have a ton of fun (childlike),even doing things like grocery shopping.
Gord Thor Maybe... I hope better then my typical ENFP and INTJ experience have turned out to be.. Mostly my fault I will admit.
Bro&Sis Yeah,it was mostly my fault (in hindsight) too.
I like the openness on this channel.
Dyslexia and an intj female like myself. Wow
Irene Williams Glad to know I’m not the only one. :)