Huge amounts of internalised transphobia here. Root causes; (1) very conservative family, (2) enormous amount of childhood trauma, (3) many years of trauma as an adult, & (4) decades of not being included. The last three all relate to my "otherness", a word my psychologist used recently. Right now, I'm doing my best to stay alive - e.g., locking myself away in a mental health hospital late last year. 40 years of daily suicidal ideation (mostly passive) doesn't end overnight. I'll get onto dealing with my internalised transphobia, eventually.
You are a very mindful and aware man. I am also FtM (just hit a year on T 🎉) and practicing mindfulness and self compassion has changed my life in so many facets, but I couldn’t imagine my transition without it too. It takes practice to catch ourselves in these patterns-pause, and bring kindness in that moment and it is not linear either. It’s waves, but bringing that awareness, we are able to live the truth of who we are rather than act out of fear. I could really run on about this, haha my point is, you hit it home and I appreciate you sharing this honest wisdom, especially to folks who may not be aware of these concepts. Peace be with you Anyone reading, if you are in the midst of the discomfort that comes with life, to my trans siblings- I see you, know that you belong, just as you are. ❤
Thank you for making this video. I'm basically uncovering internalized misogyny, homophobia, and transphobia in myself. the advise to love yourself through the process is really important.
I'm nb transmasc, and I really appreciate the videos you make. They have helped me so much while navigating this very confusing time. I dont really fit within the rest of the trans community, and it's been a huge relief having this safe space to come to and not feel so alone 🖤
I’m also an nb trans masc. I live in a transphobic environment, so learning how to overcome my internalized transphobia is pretty difficult. But I definitely have hope, and I’m looking forward to being able to transition.
i have so much internalized transphobia even clicking on this video made me so damn uncomfortable :( but i watched through the whole thing. thank you this is genuinely so helpful. i am going to be so nice to myself. and yes it is the trans community around me that is causing this.. mostly twitter and tumblr. i’m choosing to surround myself with this because i am not kind to myself and think i deserve it. it’s hard for me to have trans friends especially transmasc and when i have had them, they tend to project onto me or vice versa and it gets really toxic. i don’t have a transmedicalism problem but i feel so bad about being trans for other reasons like terf rhetoric about mutilating my body and ruining other people’s perception of me, and lots of other trans people reinforce this sadly.
I think my main issue with internalized transphobia is feeling like others around me who are out are the role-models for cis people to see, and me being stealth, I am not a role model so I worry about how theses other people are being perceived. and when these other open trans people or early transitioners do things or act in a way that I consider out of line, I find myself getting really railed up internally; avoiding interacting with trans people at all costs at college. I'm never outright an asshole but I can be distant and unresponsive. I'm really not sure how I'll ever get over this issue. I battled with the type of transphobia mentioned in the video but got over it once I went stealth, but now theres this new beast and it's directed at others which (though quietly) is really shitty. If anyone has any advice on that, that would be great. Maybe it could be the next video idea even. I'd love to learn more about how I could work though this. I know I'm not the only one because my partner [MtF] feels the same way
Did you watch the whole video? I mentioned people who think like you - the whole “I’m not like OTHER trans people, they’re annoying!” (or in your case, “out of line”). You’re still experiencing internalised transphobia, the only difference is now you pass and you’re stealth, so you’ve started projecting your toxic thoughts onto other trans people. It sounds like you’re still stuck on the idea of what trans people are “supposed” to act like, but instead of hating on yourself for not fitting in you’ve moved on to hating other trans people who are just living their lives. You should work on learning to let go of what you can’t control, and letting people live their own lives, especially if it doesn’t affect you personally.
@@aktdoa yeah I did watch the whole vid I guess I didn't interpret it the way you meant that point to come across as. but yeah I've been trying to get better. im a bit more chill than I used to be, I used to be a bit more chronically online and worry about the whole 'trans craze on tik tok' thing but now I've come to understand it's just young people exploring themselves. I think my issue may be related to some sort of trauma from my old job though. **warning, I'm just trauma-dumping for my own sake here to try and help myself feel better:** There was a person who claimed to be trans for attention who worked there (I can say this because they admitted to it) and they never cared about coworkers using correct pronouns/terminology, wore the female uniform, and would make everything about them being trans and how cool it was despite not actually being such. I, on the other hand, was trans and very dysphoric at the time. this behaviour became normalized with staff and people began disrespecting me and would cite that it was ok "because I could do it to the other coworker". I was locked out of (both) bathrooms, taunted, misgendered, and asked disgustingly personal questions by my 50+ year old managers. and every time I asked them to stop they ALWAYS cited the other coworker and how 'she' was ok with it so I should be too. That job really fucked me up, I deeply regret not sueing them. but it was my first job and I had no idea how any of that stuff worked
This is also works if you are cis and trying to be a better ally, friend or relative. I've been working on changing these thought patterns in myself. I'm a Cis woman though I am Bisexual/pansexual Questioning definitely Biromantic. So I'm part of the larger community. The most important tip is getting to know Trans people and having an honest discussion with them and listening. I have a few trans friends now but still occasionally have negative thoughts that I have to work through to be a better person for them and for me too. Your doing great thanks for your representation keep going.
hi Shannon, while i appreciate your insight, this video is about trans people and is (primarily) for trans people so i’m not sure how a cis person could relate to the points i brought up in the video, especially because if a cis person is experiencing transphobic thoughts, it’s literally just transphobia. it sounds like you have negative thoughts about your own friends? hopefully i’m just misinterpreting your comment, cus that would be shitty
Thank you for this video it was very helpful :) the best thing for me was, as you said, to find other trans people who were all different and just being themselves and showed me that being trans isn’t shameful it’s just who we are
This is a great video, honestly! It's such an important topic many of us struggle with and you've not only explained it really well but also given active steps one can take to start healing.
Thank you! I had an awful day today and sadly enough, most of it had to do with my transness so seeing this video really helped me actually feel validated. Keep it up my dude!
It’s really weird for me, not only do successful/good-looking people (like you for example) trigger my dysphoria I also feel bad, fake and inappropriate for trying to work towards being myself it’s not fair, it’s like there is no happiness, there is no light at the end of the tunnel. Hatred that’s been fed to me is somehow deeply ingrained in the opinion of my very essence und there’s just self-loathing and that I will never feel genuine and complete.
My thoughts part wise manifested as intrusive thoughts cause of an anxiety attack one of them was stuff like the classic one was "ehhhh you are just a confused men in Woman clothes" or the main core is that I'm fakeing it all...but right now I remember how I basically excluded myself from lesbian spaces by saying "yeah I'm a Woman but I'm not thaaat woman" like I'm just a Trans girl just a cheap copy bla bla bla...
Huge amounts of internalised transphobia here. Root causes; (1) very conservative family, (2) enormous amount of childhood trauma, (3) many years of trauma as an adult, & (4) decades of not being included. The last three all relate to my "otherness", a word my psychologist used recently. Right now, I'm doing my best to stay alive - e.g., locking myself away in a mental health hospital late last year. 40 years of daily suicidal ideation (mostly passive) doesn't end overnight. I'll get onto dealing with my internalised transphobia, eventually.
You are a very mindful and aware man. I am also FtM (just hit a year on T 🎉) and practicing mindfulness and self compassion has changed my life in so many facets, but I couldn’t imagine my transition without it too.
It takes practice to catch ourselves in these patterns-pause, and bring kindness in that moment and it is not linear either. It’s waves, but bringing that awareness, we are able to live the truth of who we are rather than act out of fear.
I could really run on about this, haha my point is, you hit it home and I appreciate you sharing this honest wisdom, especially to folks who may not be aware of these concepts.
Peace be with you
Anyone reading, if you are in the midst of the discomfort that comes with life, to my trans siblings- I see you, know that you belong, just as you are. ❤
Thank you for making this, it’s nice being able to have like actionable steps to take towards processing and overcoming this
glad you liked the video!!
Thank you for making this video. I'm basically uncovering internalized misogyny, homophobia, and transphobia in myself. the advise to love yourself through the process is really important.
I'm nb transmasc, and I really appreciate the videos you make. They have helped me so much while navigating this very confusing time. I dont really fit within the rest of the trans community, and it's been a huge relief having this safe space to come to and not feel so alone 🖤
im glad my videos are helpful for you and you consider my channel a safe space
same here!
@@O_Ciel_Phant0mhive yo your username is fire! I love black butler
Poor ftm trans guy! I hope you don't suffer cause non-binary.
I’m also an nb trans masc. I live in a transphobic environment, so learning how to overcome my internalized transphobia is pretty difficult. But I definitely have hope, and I’m looking forward to being able to transition.
i have so much internalized transphobia even clicking on this video made me so damn uncomfortable :( but i watched through the whole thing. thank you this is genuinely so helpful. i am going to be so nice to myself. and yes it is the trans community around me that is causing this.. mostly twitter and tumblr. i’m choosing to surround myself with this because i am not kind to myself and think i deserve it. it’s hard for me to have trans friends especially transmasc and when i have had them, they tend to project onto me or vice versa and it gets really toxic. i don’t have a transmedicalism problem but i feel so bad about being trans for other reasons like terf rhetoric about mutilating my body and ruining other people’s perception of me, and lots of other trans people reinforce this sadly.
sooo relatable ❤
it feels like rebellin when we make choices that foster selflove 😊
I think my main issue with internalized transphobia is feeling like others around me who are out are the role-models for cis people to see, and me being stealth, I am not a role model so I worry about how theses other people are being perceived. and when these other open trans people or early transitioners do things or act in a way that I consider out of line, I find myself getting really railed up internally; avoiding interacting with trans people at all costs at college. I'm never outright an asshole but I can be distant and unresponsive.
I'm really not sure how I'll ever get over this issue. I battled with the type of transphobia mentioned in the video but got over it once I went stealth, but now theres this new beast and it's directed at others which (though quietly) is really shitty. If anyone has any advice on that, that would be great. Maybe it could be the next video idea even. I'd love to learn more about how I could work though this. I know I'm not the only one because my partner [MtF] feels the same way
Did you watch the whole video? I mentioned people who think like you - the whole “I’m not like OTHER trans people, they’re annoying!” (or in your case, “out of line”).
You’re still experiencing internalised transphobia, the only difference is now you pass and you’re stealth, so you’ve started projecting your toxic thoughts onto other trans people. It sounds like you’re still stuck on the idea of what trans people are “supposed” to act like, but instead of hating on yourself for not fitting in you’ve moved on to hating other trans people who are just living their lives. You should work on learning to let go of what you can’t control, and letting people live their own lives, especially if it doesn’t affect you personally.
@@aktdoa yeah I did watch the whole vid I guess I didn't interpret it the way you meant that point to come across as. but yeah I've been trying to get better. im a bit more chill than I used to be, I used to be a bit more chronically online and worry about the whole 'trans craze on tik tok' thing but now I've come to understand it's just young people exploring themselves.
I think my issue may be related to some sort of trauma from my old job though.
**warning, I'm just trauma-dumping for my own sake here to try and help myself feel better:**
There was a person who claimed to be trans for attention who worked there (I can say this because they admitted to it) and they never cared about coworkers using correct pronouns/terminology, wore the female uniform, and would make everything about them being trans and how cool it was despite not actually being such. I, on the other hand, was trans and very dysphoric at the time. this behaviour became normalized with staff and people began disrespecting me and would cite that it was ok "because I could do it to the other coworker". I was locked out of (both) bathrooms, taunted, misgendered, and asked disgustingly personal questions by my 50+ year old managers. and every time I asked them to stop they ALWAYS cited the other coworker and how 'she' was ok with it so I should be too. That job really fucked me up, I deeply regret not sueing them. but it was my first job and I had no idea how any of that stuff worked
This is also works if you are cis and trying to be a better ally, friend or relative. I've been working on changing these thought patterns in myself. I'm a Cis woman though I am Bisexual/pansexual Questioning definitely Biromantic. So I'm part of the larger community. The most important tip is getting to know Trans people and having an honest discussion with them and listening. I have a few trans friends now but still occasionally have negative thoughts that I have to work through to be a better person for them and for me too. Your doing great thanks for your representation keep going.
hi Shannon, while i appreciate your insight, this video is about trans people and is (primarily) for trans people so i’m not sure how a cis person could relate to the points i brought up in the video, especially because if a cis person is experiencing transphobic thoughts, it’s literally just transphobia.
it sounds like you have negative thoughts about your own friends? hopefully i’m just misinterpreting your comment, cus that would be shitty
Thank you for this video it was very helpful :) the best thing for me was, as you said, to find other trans people who were all different and just being themselves and showed me that being trans isn’t shameful it’s just who we are
Thank you so much for this upload.
This is a great video, honestly! It's such an important topic many of us struggle with and you've not only explained it really well but also given active steps one can take to start healing.
Thank you! I had an awful day today and sadly enough, most of it had to do with my transness so seeing this video really helped me actually feel validated. Keep it up my dude!
Thanks I really need this video rn
It’s really weird for me, not only do successful/good-looking people (like you for example) trigger my dysphoria I also feel bad, fake and inappropriate for trying to work towards being myself it’s not fair, it’s like there is no happiness, there is no light at the end of the tunnel. Hatred that’s been fed to me is somehow deeply ingrained in the opinion of my very essence und there’s just self-loathing and that I will never feel genuine and complete.
i really appreciated this video. A lot of good info and made me realize a couple things. Love youre thoughts!
thank you v much :)
Thank you so much for this video
My thoughts part wise manifested as intrusive thoughts cause of an anxiety attack one of them was stuff like the classic one was "ehhhh you are just a confused men in Woman clothes" or the main core is that I'm fakeing it all...but right now I remember how I basically excluded myself from lesbian spaces by saying "yeah I'm a Woman but I'm not thaaat woman" like I'm just a Trans girl just a cheap copy bla bla bla...
Me too. Except I’m an enby trans guy.
@@Reed5016 it's like an parasite in the brain
Thank you!
Kalvin really was the andrew tate/alpha male podcast guys for the transmasc community 💀
1000000% agree sir!!!
How did you find other trans people?
online and visiting queer spaces in my area!
Are you planning on taking hormones for the rest of your life?
for now that’s the plan!