The 'Trad Wife' Life is a Dangerous Lie | TikTok Compilation
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- Опубликовано: 16 сен 2024
- The "trad wife" (aka "traditional wife”) lifestyle content on TikTok has sparked controversy recently, with some saying it's propaganda.
While there are several ways that women have taken on the title of #tradwife since it first became popularized on social media, the general gist remains the same: A tradwife is a woman who trades feminism and gender equality for a more “traditional” gendered role: staying home, keeping house, having children, and being generally subservient to her husband.
But many have questioned if this is what we should be idealizing because women will be heavily reliant on their husbands for financial stability.
#tradwives #feminism #stayathomewife
Book mentioned:
'The Theory of the Leisure Class' by Thorstein Veblen
amzn.to/3wuCvbh
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CREATORS FEATURED IN VIDEO:
Allyrooker
Professorneil
itsme_abbye
Artlust
Browniebitez
Po.lette
Lifetaketwo
Mickaylarussell11
Becomingbochenek
I live by the motto "hope for the best but prepare for the worse and if the worse doesn't happen, you'll have a big old pot of gold at the end of the rainbow" Every woman should always have her own money. To rely solely on one human being is just foolish.
I think having children with the possibility of raising it alone is foolish. If you can't guarantee that he will raise and provide for his children, then there isn't any point in having them.
@@biblethumper8088It is not about thinking you might raise children alone. It is about being realistic and preparing for all eventualities. Men are not gods and can fall ill or die or leave. Smh
@@the8thchurch461There is no reason to prepare for being a single mother because being a single mother is a bad thing. A husband falling ill or death is completely different because you will still have the home to live in and he is supposed to have health insurance and unemployment insurance. So in both cases the mother would be taken care of. But it's completely different when the man walks away and intentionally does not support the mother and children he created. So, if there is a POSSIBILITY that women would have to work and raise children then there is no point in having children.
@@biblethumper8088 Typical religious person. To you people the human condition is black and white. There are no grey areas. You are the ones who shouldn't be having children because you have no HUMANITY. There is nothing nastier
in this world than IMPOVERISHING women and saying they shouldn't earn and be self sufficient. That is why the world is so twisted. Women are not reptiles hovering over reproduction. They are full human beings deserving of agency. When they become MOTHERS, there is even more reason to be in a great position of financial power. Being a MOTHER is not a position to be infantilized. It has the ultimate responsibilities, even more so than that of a father.
@@biblethumper8088 You cannot guarantee that a man won't leave or be a dead beat father.
My mom was a house wife and she took care of us kids her whole life. As I grew up, she always told me to get a job, go to work everyday, be smart with my money, and always always provide for myself. Her exact words were: don’t ever let a man make decisions about your living situation, your car, or your money. She had an 8th grade education, but she was smart enough to tell me the most important thing in life: be independent. She never once “trained” me to be a wife, and she was dependent on men for all of her life. I listened to her good advice, and put it into practice.
Your mom knew her shit.
Hear fucking hear , she knew exactly the way the world works.
I hate even the casual misogynist streak that has been telling young women that joint bank accounts mean true love or whatever bs they shill. I cannot imagine agreeing to marry someone who would want me to do something so against my own my own safety. But my mom graduated from high school the year women got bank accounts (w/o being signed onto a man’s account) so she too was no nonsense.
@@withcharmtospare just want to say FUCK YEAH. my mom was helpless. I vowed at a young age I would rather kill myself than have her life. She was one of the most miserable people I've ever known. I think if she wasn't busy actively sabotaging my life, she would also say fuck yeah! Thank god my dad was my biggest fan. and he's a MAGA! At the core, he was like, that shit is ridiculous.
@@withcharmtospare It wasn't until the 1970s that women could open their own bank accounts without male cosigners. How insane is that?
Every woman around me grew up traditional housewives, they HATED their lives made sure to not train me to be that way. As I got older, I eventually saw the horrors they faced from their spouses.
Every amish woman i met said they had to learn their skills so when their husband's die they take care of the land, unless he had a unmarried brother. Amish is the MOST trad wives out there and they even said women shouldn't be reliant on their husband's.
Wow! That is amazing to hear. So the Amish are practical. Very impressed. There is nothing more annoying than people advocating poverty for women and claiming that is genius and ideal. Men are not gods. They are only human and can fall ill or die.
Damn ….
Speaking of other religions... These tradwives are like the extreme Islamic countries. (i'm not saying that's what Islam is or isn't, but yes, tehre are countries claiming to be islamic doing this) And that's bad. Do you see what's going on in Afghanistan?
@@silveryfeather208 I'd like to know how the women in Islamic countries deal with brutal facts such as men falling ill or dying. How do they deal with these when they are forced to depend on men?
@@the8thchurch461they are not forced to depend on men,islamicallu
If you haven’t noticed:
These trad wife videos never show the not so pretty tasks. Ask yourself… why do I never see them changing diapers? Cleaning the bathroom? Dealing with misbehaving kids? Or picking up after their husbands mess?
Answer: they’re selling propaganda and don’t want you to see that
They are also not doing it because they are rich. They have nannies and maids for that kind of stuff.
That's just social media in general. Point invalid.
+ all of them are from religious cults! lol how odd!!
No @@adammonks591
I have watched stay-at-home mothers on RUclips and these women work around the clock; cleaning up after everyone, scrubbing bderooms an bathrooms, runnin errands and running after young kids, shopping groceries and stocking fridges, prepping and cooking meals, washing dishes and doing laundry and so on.
I can't name a single one that has time to make bread at 4:30am from scratch.
The tradwife life is definitely an esthetic at this point.
Tradwifes, who have a nanny, cleaner and a cook.
You never see these trad wife influencers changing diapers or cleaning the toilet or vacuuming or balancing a baby under one arm and picking up children’s toys with the other
bread doesn't take that long .. my hubs does it from scratch by hand not a bread machine. he freezes extra loaves. several hrs most you do other things while the bread rises. kneeding takes a lot of time.
I was a stay at home wife for 14 years, military wife, 2 children. Those tradwives are all liars. Not one of them could last 24 hours doing what I did as a real-life housewife. They're capping. By the way, housewives work inside the home 24/7 with no sick days, unless you get admitted to the hospital due to an illness. I usually call that a true vacation.
I’m a stay at home mom to 2 children under 2 and I really want to see how one of these aesthetic tradwife influencers would handle a day of my life. Like try looking perfect while operating off of about 4 hours of broken sleep after your 4 month old has woken you up every hour all night, cook everyone a proper breakfast while your toddler is throwing a temper tantrum and tugging on your legs, filling the dishwasher while the baby won’t let you put him down and your toddler keeps trying to close the dishwasher on you or take all the dirty dishes out as fast as you can put them in, then have to stop halfway and leave a bunch of dishes in the sink when your baby has a blowout and gets poop all over you, and it’s not even 10 am yet….
@@stephanie4718Girl, I feel u! Hope u have other women who are able (and willing!) to help u around the 🏠 and w the kids. Don't hold your breathe for the men to be in the trenches w u in that regard...
As an older lady, and a former tradwife, let me warn you that you are at the mercy of your husband, and the pressure on him to sustain the cost eventually causes all sorts of problems. I found myself suddenly facing divorce AND restarting my career, as a single mother with primary (damn close to sole) custody. Hardest life I've ever known, be warned.
That is not the norm. The cat came out of the bag a long time ago.
@@Panwere36that’s someone’s reality lol you’re just watching a video hoping women will still disagree
@@Erlymroz, there actually are A LOT of women who do. We know that they use multiple "anonymous" accounts to make it seem as if there are more that agree than really do. Post-modern feminists are destined for the Wall, box wine, and to die but no one finding out till their cats eat some of their bodies.
@@Erlymroz , I know feminists and simps disagree. And it is that person's reality.. but it isn't reality in general. No one should be allowed to wreck others lives based on what happened to them.. nor on lies from people who ruined their own lives. I don't buy into a narrative that is slowly crumbling around those trying to push it.
@@Panwere36 I’m not sure what I buy either. I’m 21 and haven’t been married but I have seen both sides happen (men loses everything and woman loses everything. So safest bet is to just cover your own butt before solely relying on faith in a person alone.
I'm a stay at home mom and was a stay at home wife before having kids. While my husband is the sole provider, I have a Masters degree in a field that is always desperately hiring (healthcare). I keep my credentials up to date. I can go back to work anytime. I have my own savings. And there are an array of legal protections in place for me should my husband feel like ending the marriage. My sister is a lawyer. I'm serious when I say that I'm protected in any and every scenario. I know everything about our finances and have access to all accounts. Hubby and I have a great marriage and I'm happy staying home with my baby but I'm also happy to have choices and be protected.
My sister is more of a career woman. I'm just happy we can each make our different choices and be free.
I thought this was true feminism-The ability to choose!
This is how it should be. All the best to you.
Yes this!!
Love that for you 👏🏻👏🏻
This is exactly how it should be. You still got the choice of staying home and caring for your children, but you are smart about your future and that of your family. The narrative that a woman is only truly a caring partner and mother if she "trusts" her husband completely by not getting a degree or building a resume to fall back on, is selling an abuser's paradise. Only an abuser that doesn't want you to have options to leave wants a completely dependent and submissive wife. A confident husband who wants the best for his wife, isn't threatened by a partner with options.
“Mommy, I’m hungry.”
“Okay, breakfast will be ready in three hours.”
😂 or more
😂😂😂
These influencers are so fake 😂
😂😂😂😂
Lolllll
Flashback to my 'Mad Men, mid-century modern' childhood: certain trad wives had certain other women to clean their homes, raise their kids, cook their meals, wash & iron their clothes, etc. for as little as $5.00 a week. The women who worked so hard for so little money had to go home and clean their own homes, raise their own kids etc. encouraged their daughters to go to college, become self-sufficient and use birth control.
Very true
Certain other women are all women who needed those jobs.
my best friend married at 19, I remember my first year in college , she got pregnant and stayed at home. Her husband was so in love with her but it took 1 problem , one fight with his mom who got too involved in their lives all the time for him to end the marriage and file for divorce. She said that if it weren't for her parents getting her to college and taking care of the baby while she had classes, she wouldn't have made it. Now she has a stable job and raising one of smartest kids I have ever met.
W for the kid getting to exist with a good family, but oh my goodness could that have been a complete tragedy if just one extra thing went wrong! I'm so glad your friend had a support system like that and the drive to get through school after all that, kudos to her and her parents!
... Oh geez, I'M 19! And I decided at least 3 years ago that I'm never having kids. I still reel when I think about the fact that my grandma got married and pregnant when she was 17. Had to get parental consent for her marriage to my grandpa.
10:00 This woman hits the nail on the head. It's the Trad Wife Cult Wave that causes me concern. Traditional wives know basic life skills and do NOT bake sourdough bread at 4am while wearing a full face of makeup, pearls, and their best dress. No. Traditional wives have an itinerary for how they keep the home clean, and don't ruin their good clothes or sweat their makeup off.
As a bonfide " Trad Wife" ( 😂) I concur. I'm in my sweats and head bandana getting ready to prune, mow and muck the chicken coop. Extremely dirty non- glamorous work.😅
@@PB_324 And there is definitely not a single TikTok of a trad wife mucking the chicken coop. Not a single one.
@@MissKashira Because that's the MAN'S job, silly!
Influencers do not care about your future or financial security. They only care about the money that they make off of you, so they're more than willing to sell you this pipedream, just as long as you keep clicking on their videos and/or buy whatever product they're selling. And in this they're more than willing to be used by people who want to push these "traditional" gender roles, a.k.a. an abuser's paradise. Abusers don't want you to have options, because if you have options to leave them then they are forced to treat you with respect. So they come up with this narrative that if you get your education and build up your resume instead of sitting at home and waiting on them, then you're not a loving partner. Has anyone else noticed that this conclusion is only being said about women and not men? Somehow men can work outside the home all they want, even pulling overtime, but they're not less loving partners because of this. Doesn't this narrative sound a bit like when abusers try to socially isolate their victims from their friends and families? So why are we pretending that now all of a sudden this is actually good for you? Being a tradwife has nothing to do with being a carer and a stay-at-home-mother. It's a scam and being packaged and sold to you by pretty, young ladies in pretty dresses for a reason. Be smart about your future and that of your family's. Even if everything goes right with your relationship, life can still happen. Don't let yourself get scammed into poverty.
I remember telling my husband “do you really expect me to be smiling after 8 hrs of changing diapers, cleaning up your mess, hearing mom 100000x, barely got any sleep because my 10 mo is having regression.. yet have the fucking audacity to tell me you want to come to a peaceful home? You get to clock out of work, I cant.
@@flowerpower7065 Exactly, you're on the clock all the time. Unlike these tradwife videos you don't have the time or the energy to fuss over expertly doing your hair, make-up and putting together a swell 50s outfit and making even the most basic things from scratch. You have a child to take care of, a household to maintain and a 1000 other errands to run.
@@ZBM-jj1xr Exactly, and even the trad wives of the 1950s were a fantasy created by television shows, Hollywood movies, magazines, and commercial advertisements, aka the influencers of the day. The real 1950s household, according to my mom, aunts, and other women who grew up during that era, bore little resemblance to the romanticized version portrayed in media.
@@IntrovertAncom I believe that's the era there was pills called moms little helpers. Many depressed women trapped in their homes force to put on a smile in public for the husband's image. Out of the 50s popping pills going to therapy took off. The women were bombarded by advertisement about being a perfect housewife many felt isolated and alone.
@@ZBM-jj1xr well said,,they are being lied and scammed into very dangerous abusive situations and into poverty the reason why this content is not banned to avoid manipulating young girls is scary 😧
😮. 💯 correct. I am in my 50s. I was a beautiful young sexy girl when I married, and I was a trad wife for years. Here is my advice: don't do it. Go to college, get a proper education, get a good degree, have your own source of income, and keep yourself independent. Do not fall for the lie of trad wife. You will become a burden to your man and he will get bored of you. What these men want is control. They want a tame kitty in a cage. They get tired of playing with the kitty because they know kitty is always in the cage and is going nowhere. Then, these men start running after other kitties that are wild and free for fun. He will not value nor respect you. You are just a part of the house. They keep you as a possession. You will give him your body, your youth, your love, and will sacrifice your freedom and purpose in the world. You will try to please him for years and when you get older and used up after a couple kids, he will dump you for a younger version, and you will be left with nothing but regrets. Be smart, be independent, and find a man who respects your accomplishments and considers you an equal partner.
I mean it depends on the man. Victoria is extremely accurate, as Victoria had kept a diary daily. Her and her husband had many men in their families with mistresses, second secret family (plus), but she did have a senior member of the family (I don’t remember his name) but he married a non royal and was struck from the succession, but he was devoted and never had an affair. He actually gave Victoria hope and is (I guess) part of why she was eventually married, as she could have stayed single.
@laraantipova389 this has little to do with what she's saying here. Whether we like it or not, most men do want control, and if a woman is too independent, they will settle for the easier option.
@@shawnlove4502they're talking about the VERY EXTREMELY RARE one of a kind male😂😂they need to come back down to earth
@@laraantipova389it doesn’t depend on the man. They are all the same regardless of what they show or tell you. Don’t go around saying this to women and girls, giving them hope in unicorns makes you a liar
Do you know how much a degree is? the good degrees are in Stem/Medicine, most Americans have useless degrees. You have to understand that not every woman has the same goal. Marriage to a good man is a goal. Just like marriage to a loving wife is a goal of a good man. To scoff at that because youre not in a healthy and loving relationship is foul
I don't understand how conservative women don't understand why older women tell you to get your own money. Why did grandma fight for you to have a choice and options.
It's because people like fairy tales. They think it won't happen to them.
@@the8thchurch461exactly, they think they’re special or prettier. Time is the master, and life experience the best teacher. They will learn, but then they’ll be 45 years old, getting divorced and on their way to the shelter. When he’s on his way to get him a 25 year old with a degree.
@@ruthmchuwen On her way to a shelter Indeed! Very true. Women so way better at sorting their lives when they are single, face. All men do is hold you back.
The women promoting this understand why. After all, they are making a fortune promoting their "tradition lifestyle."
It's not all conservative women
I was a trad wife for awhile. It was terrible. I was smart and used my time to level up my skills and start a business so I could leave. It is absolutely not worth it to be under a man. No matter what he says he will lose respect t for you and turn into the abusive asshole that he really always was.
And videos like those give men false ideas about what a woman is “supposed to do”. I homeschooled two neurodivergent kids and cooked cleaned. All of that and I was so exhausted that I felt like I was dying whilst he went out regularly for drinks is with friends.
A decade later and I found myself empty and alone because I had no energy to foster friendships or community.
It’s not worth it. It’s a lie. You will be a slave and they will treat you as such and blame you for it when it was their idea all along.
I am so grateful to get free
Good job! No matter what anyone says, you should be proud of yourself for getting out of that!
It truly is foolish to be dependent on a man (or any human being for that matter). Even if he isn't abusive or doesn't cheat, s**t still happens.
The woman who's husband got primary custody - good. My ex has my daughter 5 days a week. Its a lot of freedom. I was able to lose weight, focus on my goals, i travel every month, etc. Its fine. More women need to give up custody to the father unless the father is a criminal.
well i guess thats a good way to put it. she is free to level up. i betta when she does and she also starts having lots of money, that ex will want to revise the custody conditions 😂 . she needs to run for the hills. her kids, when they are grown, will come looking for their mom, they always do.
I agree to giving up custody, let him finally be responsible for the promises he made.
My grandmother did that, her first husband vowed to care for her financially and she went with that until he found someone else after my grandmother gave him a son. She went to his family's home and handed the son over to them and walked out. She refused to be tied down and be done with men. But... my grandfather kept pursuing her and he didnt love her for her looks, he loved her strength and iron will. My grandfather and her had 7 children, 6 girls and 1 boy and she taught all her daughters balance of being a women and also doing things men can do. My grandmother was an officer even during her time. After my grandfather passed away when my mom was 7, she protected her children especially older daughters who were marital age away from men who flaunt their money for a hand in marriage. She pointed a pistol to their face and chased them out of their lives. She was a feminine and fierce woman!
Yessir.
@@CitySlickerButtKickerYessss grandma. What a rock star!
Yes!! They need to change the title from trad wife to trophy wife and it would be a more accurate reflection of the lifestyle that they're promoting
exactly, they're literally trophy wives
Like the 1st girl said, you won't find women over 45 spewing this. You'll get older. Boring. Predictable. He'll cheat on you with his exciting younger coworker he works alongside(the irony). Just wish they would get an education and work for at least 2-3 yrs, save money before they stay home. Idk why they wont do the minimum to protect themselves.
You seriously think cheating is the norm? The idea is for both the husband and the wife to be traditionally minded; if it's done that way, it works.
@@Vic2point0yes, cheating is the norm. Speaking as someone who has seen married men cheat in their wives throughout my professional life. Married men are the main whores, especially in the workplace. It’s mostly married men who hit on me as a single woman.
@@Vic2point0most men cheat, so yes it is the norm. Any woman naive enough or brainwashed enough to trust a man to take care of her for the rest her life, is asking for trouble…but to each their own
I have boomer grandparents the children of the original "traditional" wifes and they will tell you to never be dependent on someone that isn't you because they have seen there mothers suffer from it
My grandma's mom had to divorce her husband because he became horrible to her and it was hard for her not just because she was a SAHM but also because no fault divorce didn't exist yet. She had to first lock herself up in in her daughters rooms for a year to prove she doesn't sleep with her husband in the same bed annymore. Then she had to give the person that would handel the divorce prove he abused her. All she wanted was for her daughters to be safe form that man because if you are brave enough to hit your wife you are brave enough to hit your children
@@juliaboskamp9666 Why would the absence of no-fault divorce prevent her from leaving? Anyway, it's good that you at least put "traditional" in quotes there because you rightly observe that those weren't actually traditional households. Traditional husbands don't behave that way, they honor their wives, provide for and protect them.
They want the trad wives of the 1950, but no-fault divorce laws of 2024.
For themselves not the women they marry
Even the trad wives of the 1950s were a fantasy created by television shows, Hollywood movies, magazines, commercial advertisements, etc. The real 1950s household, according to my mom, aunts, and other women who grew up during that era, bore little resemblance to the romanticized version portrayed in media.
@@juliaboskamp9666obviously
@@IntrovertAncom people tend not to realize that there were lots of women who worked outside of the home during the 50s, due to economic reasons.
@@awg7068 Exactly. My grandmother was one of them.
Historically, men were not the sole providers for a family. That is a recent invention. Families used to work together.
True. Children worked too.
The women also worked, even while pregnant.@@neonred7594
Hahaha thats funny and a lie
@@rambok-gi7zp Ok then. Enjoy your ignorance.
Thank you for making this point! Even the extremist Christian groups that like to push the "tradwife' lifestyle, often fail to admit that the Proverbs 31 woman they model themselves after was a working woman. Most of the women in and out of the Bible worked during times of antiquity.
In my country, being a traditional wife or stay at home mom does not equate to being the house help. The husband will still have to pay for full-time help and sometimes a nanny too.
But in the west, stay at home mom literally means you are working in the home. And if that's the case, that labour should be compasated for. How were modern women tricked into this false idea of back breaking labour as "traditional." Stay at home moms in the 50s had help too, no?
Traditional marriages are for people who can actually afford them.
Life is expensive and that includes supporting a traditional wife. It doesn't come cheap.
💯
@@the8thchurch461like what? You are doing everything for free, traditional wives are not getting paid every two weeks, don't write nonsense
Women in the 50’s only had help if they were of a certain income level. That being said women in the 50’s did not have help unless they lived near or with family.
@@the8thchurch461 Since when do traditional wives get pay stubs? Many cultures do not compensate traditional wives.
💯 I quit my job, stayed home and raised 2 kids (who are now alienated as well) pretty much alone because he was working. 13 years together - I left with nothing after he started fing a 20 something. I had to start over at 38- don’t do it!
Thank you for being honest. My mom had her own practice, then retired too early because sure my dad said she could stay home and he’s support for her. She was in her 50’s, and both my sister and me told her it was an and idea because the only reason why my dad want taking full advantage of her was because she had her own money. She ignored us, and has lived over a decade of begging my dad for money, but he only gives it to her if she has sex with him. Men will always hold funds over a woman’s head even if it’s for their kids or necessities. I knew from a very young age by watching my parents and peers in the neighborhood that relying solely on a man is foolish, and it’s how you get screwed over because everything you do for a man will never be enough since he is the one putting a price tag on your labor.
You give someone the power to feed you, you give them power to starve you.
Whatever you feel for him now (love), only exists in your head. Men see women, money and power differently to us.
Even good men fall on hard times, or die. If not for you, do it for your children.
Go get that degree ❤❤
Food for thought.
First of all, why does it NEVER come up that the sheer lack of intellectual stimulation when all you do is stay home and make bread is absolutely stultifying??? Second, the guy talking about "The Theory of the Leisure Class" is worth the whole price of admission in this video. I am immediately getting and reading that book. Every time someone mentions class struggle in popular culture an angel gets its wings.
The trad wife life definitely lacks intellectual stimulation.
@@sarahrobertson634 It does, and not enough people acknowledge it or admit it. Lots of tradwives and housewives in the 50’s smoked, drank, and had help from “mommy’s little helper”(Valium) to cope with the lack of mental stimulation and high stress that being in these positions caused. This information alone should tell women who want to be in these positions that they need an outside life or hobby. I’ve noticed that women usually realize they aren’t truly fulfilled by being in these roles 2-5 years into being a trad-wife/housewife, and that’s pretty short considering these are postpone for life if divorce or their husband passing away doesn’t happen.
@@tiahnarodriguez3809The trad wives of the 50's became the feminists of the 60's
That’s not true, it was their daughters.
I like being my own bread winner.
Me too. I thankfully also like my work, but being able to provide a comfortable life for myself is also something I like. My parents came from a very traditional culture and had a traditional marriage, but because they both grew up with single mothers (one widowed and one divorced by husband), they made damn sure I took advantage of the options women have today. Getting an education and building up a career. They don't view this as being anti-traditional, they see it as being smart about your future.
I got stuck in an abusive relationship. It was really bad. I had no money. He wouldn't let me leave the house, and the few times i could, he tracked m me. Thanks to family and a business i started, i got out.
When i moved in with a new partner, i made sure i, alone, could cover all the essential bills on my own. My name is on the bills. I love my partner, but the PTSD is still there.
Trad wives only uses a glimpse of what was traditional in the the 1950s-60s. If they looked further back they would see that middle class and working class women always worked.
1940s- Worked in assembling bombers and plane parts when the men were off in WW2.
1930s-worked due to the treat depression and tryingto make sure your family didn't starve.
1920s- Factory workers and less working class women were getting married due to the wild nature of the "Roaring 20s"
1910s- Working in factories in terrible conditions or on farms while trying not to die due to the Spanish flu.
And they were doing all this work while not even allowed to keep their own money.
Exactly, all of these women selling this lifestyle are in their 20s and most of them come from whyt privileged backgrounds with wealthy mommy and daddy to fall back on if their husbands decide to leave them one day.
So true!!
Is white privilege suddenly now representative of people who are stay at home?
My best friend since 1982 lost her husband to cancer. She was a "Trad Wife". No Social Security (he was 58) no benefits... just a small life insurance (100k) and she lost her house and is now living with her mother. She left med school when she met him (he was LOVELY and didn't leave her .... until he was taken by cancer). NOW she is trying to find her way at 54 and her kids are trying to work it out (ages 29 and 31) and it SUCKS. As their Godmother, they know that they can come here but they are too proud ... as she is. She and her husband did everything right by "normal standards" and now she is screwed. I might be as well only because I don't want to ruin a friendship OR my Marriage but they all know they can count on me. It is a terrible burden either way. This "TRAD WIFE" movement does not work and we need to help YOUNG WOMEN understand this. Sure the man can leave you.... But in your 50s he may leave you due to DEATH... and then WHAT?
Exactly, even if a husband is loving and doesn't abuse or cheat on his wife, s**t still happens (death, disability due to illness or injury, his workplace closes down or lets him go, etc.).
At minute 19, the young treadwife goes on and on about family and structure and togetherness etc. She sounds like a perpetual child. She wants to be coddled and protected and guided. She's scared of everything. To me that sounds ironic because the point of being a tradwife is to eventually become a mother and guide your own children into adulthood. How on earth are you supposed to be a decent mother if you are constantly scared of your own shadow, need perpetual guidance, and can't make a decision for yourself? She will be a grown-up child that will feel her children because they will need guidance more than her.
That is the thing that puzzles me about men wanting to infantilise women and talking about "protecting" and providing. The role of a mother is an adult role requiring a full grown up. Ah well ..
@@the8thchurch461 Yes, it’s very odd, and this angle should be talked about more. It’s been shown that the younger you get married and have kids is the age you will be stunted at, so it’s even more scary when you realize that men keep advocating for women to get married between the ages of 18-25 when the brain is still developing. The pre-frontal cortex finishes developing at age 25, but women don’t stop mentally maturing till age 32 and men at age 42.
@@tiahnarodriguez3809 You my dearest have dropped nothing but gems. I am still weeping at almost 60 about the crap life my family gave me as a result of this very toxic patriarchy of infantalizing future leaders of the next generation (women /wives). My mother was married off at 19 and denied education by her parents. Her husband became traumatized and unable to function after fighting in the 2nd world war. What followed was literally the stuff of nightmares. A mother without a clue what to do as she was not meant to take charge. She started handing us out to wealthy relations like sweets. My sister went missing as a result of being given to other people. I ended up with chronic depression as a result of mistreatment at the hands of wealthy relations. You think these men care about children? No, it is only their ego and the need to have absolute control of another human being who they dehumanize by demanding that she subjects herself to them. This idea is baffling to say the least
She gives me FLDS vibes! 😱
Spot on about showing off their (husband's) economic status. I don't think I've seen one where the husband is working minimum wage and the wife is living in poverty in low income housing.
Trad wife = work for 18 hours, be on call for 6 hours, and get no pay.
Trad man = works for 8 to 12 hours, rests for 16 to 12 hours, and still gets paid.
This comment should be pinned.
Always remember. The man you Marry is NOT the same man you Divorce.
You could broadcast this on every platform on social media and news channels around the world and most newlywed women will STILL not believe or understand it
Very good point about older women not promoting the tradwife lifestyle. It can leave a woman with nothing.
Here's a story. My aunt's (by marriage) neice was in dental school when she met a man who was going to medical school (same university) and after they graduated they decided to get married. He was a "traditional" man and told her she didn't need to work. He would take care of everything, the bills, etc., she didn't need to work she could take care of the home, eventually take care of their children, whatever. She's so in love she believes him. He's pretty controling - telling her when he finds her outfits too revealing, taking "charge" of major decisions - but he disguises it as love and wanting to protect her and she buys it. They have their first child, it's really hard as the baby is a crier and as the "stay at home mom" he expects her to deal with all of it while he sleeps... plus she's got to pack his lunches and have a clean house and dinner waiting when he comes home. She's going through a depression but he doesn't see it or care. MEANWHILE at work he meets a nurse (I know, cliche). He hits it off with this nurse (why the nurse went for him I'll never know) and they begin an affair. He's smart though. He knows he'd better protect himself in case he's caught. Their new home he puts in his parents name and leaves himself as "renter" because he makes the decisions in the house, she has no idea what's going on. He squirrels away money in safe places that she has no access to, even opening accounts in his parents names. And then she finds out about the affair. And she is furious. She's livid. She tells her family and tells his family and she's ready to leave him and take everything but... take what? The house doesn't belong to either of them. His bank account doesn't reflect a lot of money, he claims he's paying too many bills. Sure, she could try to get alimony and child support, but she has no job and he's got a lawyer who says since he's the "more stable" parent with a steady income he'll likely get custody of their child. She'll have no place to live, a 10 year gap in her resume with nothing but a dental degree that hasn't been kept up to date, and he'll likely get primary custody of their child. She literally had a mental breakdown. Their families didn't live in the area, she didn't have many friends since she stayed home most of the time. She temporarily took her child to go to her parents and they consulted a lawyer who didn't have great news for her. In the end? She stayed with him. She felt there was no other choice. He did end the affair but truly can she trust he won't do it again after all that scheming? They had another child. She found out she would have to do a lot of certifications and skill building to put her dental degree to use since she's now about 15 years out of touch with updates in the profession. It's hard for her to attempt this because he'll have to help pay for it and she's now got two kids and he's expecting her to do the whole "trad wife" thing of staying home, keeping house, keeping the children, and keeping herself looking good under his control. Her financial freedom won't benefit him so he discourages it. Shes not happy in her marriage but she feels trapped, even in this day and age.
I'm sorry to hear about her and there are lots of women in the same situation.
Thank you for writing out this story. It's a cautionary tale. I try to warn people, but I think they're looking for some type of lifestyle where a savior will come in and take care of them...kind of like a prince on a white horse. It's really dangerous and this story illustrates why.
A man telling a woman that she won't have to work because he'll provide for and take care of her...major red flag!
Another lesson: Never abandon your educational and professional goals and passions for "love!"
This happened to me the only thing that saved me was I had gone back to school before shit hit the fan and I went and got a job in retail and moved back with my parents..when we went to court I was okay. please remember and understand that the love of men is CONDITIONAL.
Loving adults should be conditional. Unconditional love is for children and pets.
This happened to my sister. Stayed at home for 11 years with no formal education and flimsy employment and a working gap of 7 years.
He filed for divorce (it came to light he was putting his hands on her pubescent daughters from a previous relationship) so he wanted to make a mad dash and moved out of state. He got away with his crime because my nieces were too traumatized to go through with court proceedings and dropped the charges.
He remarried one of his employees he was ALSO sleeping with also during the marriage and my sister had to start her life all over with 5 CHILDREN! The woman he married had a 12 year old daughter (so he could do what he did to my sister’s kids). 😢
Very dangerous to be a trad wife IMO. Unless your husband is a 13th Apostle and a saint it’s a huge risk to not work and rely fully on a man for you and your children’s survival.
Forget about him being whatever, if you want to be a tradwife,make sure you are getting allowances for it, 5 thousand and up every two weeks or a month,make sure you are getting paid for it, so that you can save up,incase there's a divorce,or else ,don't bother being one
@@purplelove3666 Getting an allowance means nothing. Men will use this as an excuse to squeeze every bit out of you like forcing you to have sex for the allowance, or do whatever he says, and taking on duties that aren’t considered traditional because of the peor dynamic of being at the mercy of a man.
@@purplelove3666 The hand that feeds you, can starve you.
@@MissKashira you are right
Most homeless women used to be either Trade wives or grow up thinking they should be trade wives
Not true. Don't say that. You have no statistical evidence of that. Many homeless women aren't even wives. They were military, are addicts, lost their homes etc. Some may have been dependents, but don't spread false facts.
Not true. They are just women who clearly chose the wrong man. I’m a trad wife (making zero income). My husband provides everything, and our marriage is very strong. Our children love the fact that I’m able to stay home with them all day, everyday.
@@monicavandeventer5429actually very true. Look at what demographic is more likely to fall in poverty after a divorce ?
@@Nithinithinith again, no lol
@@monicavandeventer5429 have you actually looked into the statistics for this or talked to a divorce lawyer ? This is a fact that can be backed with data.
Came across a trad wife propaganda short the other day that used (I kidd you not) images on old bisciut tins on how much better life is as a trad wife. It scares me how these pick-me's utilise propaganda to appease to their men
There’s a RUclips channel that observes old packaging and magazines from the 50’s and older and discusses how happy everyone looks vs the reality that women were not treated well, and also how bad some advertising can be like the ones where wives are depicted being scared or about to be beaten if they don’t use a certain product. I get that some of the advertising is supposed to be a joke as some commenters who were from those era said (I don’t buy this because I have family from that era and they didn’t think it was funny), but the reality still stands that women were beaten for not doing things the way the husband liked it.
I looove that women are waking up and prioritizing themselves! Let's keep sharing our truths, ladies!
I would also add as my experience as a woman of 54 that I am so grateful I was allowed to choose to remain child free
Staying away from men and children is the best thing a woman can do.
These people are just playing dress up. I’m a real trad wife and I’m still wearing my pajamas, with unbrushed hair and no makeup at noon 😅 I’m about to do dishes and laundry though.
That’s you…. There are women who can dress up and wear makeup and that’s up to them. your pajamas are up to you. With that being said if you’re happy, go on 🤷🏻♀️
@@samiam5434In my early 20s I used to put on heels just to clean the kitchen. Don't ask me why, cuz I just liked it lol (never married btw & I don't think I'm interested in sharing my space w/a man).
Are you getting paid?
@@purplelove3666 yes, I have income but I don’t have a job other than taking care of the house, kids, and animals.
@@silververnallbells191 lol that’s interesting. I’m glad you did it for yourself. That’s awesome lol
I divested from men in 2005
My own home
My career
No children from men
No loser man in My house
Life is awesome ❤
Sometimes I date no further than dinner concert coffee or a date at my local gym membership 😃
Or get girls night out with your fellow sistah😂
Go GIRLLL😂🎉
You and incel men have a lot in common…
Ughhhh! my dream life. Everything you said is on my vision board you’re really blessed
Plus, you don’t havre to worry about the toilet seat being left up lol.
Women ignore feminist history and struggle at their own peril. Tbf, our patriarchal cultute does everything it can to denigrate, deny, and minimize the need for feminism and the activists who fight for it, and when they can't do that, they defang and depoliticize it and sell it back to us as a product. But still, we have this information at our fingertips, we should be educating ourselves as an act of self preservation if nothing else
Long live FEMINISM.
Yes ..they don't know how feminists have struggled to pave way for us ...now they are just evrything for granted and even making taking backwards from all the progress that have been achieved by sacrifices of all those intelligent caring brave feminists
Let's call it what is ... performative cosplay. The fact that most of these women dress either like the 50's housewife or little house on the prairie is a dead giveaway. 50's housewives dressed like everyone else in that era. This is a costume and a performance for their social media.
Betty Broderick could tell trad wives a thing or two about how these marriages can go sideways…
Exactly
I thought about her.
So true! Relaying on a man for your futures security is one heck of a risk ! THE RISK - DONT DO IT! I’ve seen it go totally wrong
It goes wrong more than it goes right
I think there is a huge difference between a tradwife and a housewife, obviously you can get an education and work a bit while Settling to have children
What an interesting statement. I watch a lot of videos on stay-at-home mothers and they are constantly working; shopping and stocking the fridge or pantry, cleaning up after everyone, scrubbing bedrooms and bathrooms, running errands and running after young kids, prepping and cooking meals, doing dishes and folding laundry etc. They do not have the esthetic of these trad wives. And they definitely do not have the time to make cereals or bread from scratch at 4:30am.
Tradwife is a lifestyle rooted in classism and white supremacy. Ask yourself, exactly what traditions are they hoping to maintain. A housewife is someone who takes care of their family and home full time without all the racism, classism and sexism.
True! Last summer, a married lady în her late 50s told me that if she would be young again, she would never get married. I'm 29 and definitely decentered men long time ago. Best thing for me.
Woud love for people the talking about this "movement" to talk more about these tradwife influencers and their blantant and direct link to religion. These "tradwives" are pushing fundamentalist Christian and Mormon values and beliefs onto the GP under the guise of an aesthetic.
Not surprised.
Women haven’t kept track of family law cases. Moms don’t get full custody any more. And like the woman in the video says, if you don’t work or aren’t financially independent the court is unlikely to award you physical custody.
And alimony is only awarded in 10% of divorces, so even that's not real protection.
Let's talk about almost all those women are white young and not disabled.
Also, make sure they contribute to a 401k and have a separate account for monthly payments...and have something written in there for case of default (they stop paying). Other cultures do this, and discuss this, family to family, so its not new - patriarchy in the west got rid of it to benefit them. I would also have in case of divorce support and payment and custody.
No 401k
And if the husband gets ill and the illness drains the savings? Loses his job? Develops an addiction or depression? Gets fired? To depend on the viability of one person who can change his mind at anytime isn’t great odds. People act like husbands don’t lie, don’t run up credit cards or take out mortgages w/out wives knowledge?
They just blame whatever when wrong on the woman. She should have "picked better." BUT HE GOT STRUCK BY LIGHTNING!!! "Should have picked a less conductive man."
My Boomer, mentally ill, co-dependent, and abusive parents were married for 40 years until my Dad went to Mexico to "celebrate" his 65th birthday by buying CP. He was caught, he lost his job, his career, his finances, and his freedom. It was absolutely a life lesson for me that you can be married for however long you think is enough for true love, and still wake up one morning to find your marriage blowing up in ways you can't imagine. Who the hell would sign up for that willingly?
Yes, this is a dangerous lie. The propaganda of the 1950s was supposed to force financially independent women back into the traditional role in capitalism: preparing a male worker for the 40 hour work week. And do not, under ANY circumstances, accept that Itchy and Scratchy money is going to save you in the capitalist hellscape where REAL MONEY is all that matters.Oh and by the way, my Mom stole a quarter of a million dollars through my Dad's credit line after divorcing him, went to Cancun numerous times with another man, gave him her house and inheritance, and dropped dead.
Traditional wives in the 50s took Home Economics in school, which included lessons on cooking, cleaning, and baking, and also on managing the finances for the household. A lot of the 50s couples, the man handed over his check, and the wife spent it, just giving him a tiny bit to get a drink with the boys after work one day.
Yes, but a man giving her the check is a man willingly giving his power away. No modern man would do that.
Apparently these tradwives aren’t educated in ALIMONY
It's only awarded in 10% of divorces, so don't hold your breath.
What if he gets hurt on the job and can't work or get sick and can't work or die then what would you do
Exactly
If you ask them these questions, they weep and run away. Reality frightens them. My father was a traumatized war veteran who couldn't provide for us as a result and my stay at home mother spent her life weeping because she had nothing to fall back on. No education/skills or money. Her parents had property but gave it all to her brother because she was then married off to a man who apparently had property but lost it all because he wasn't functioning. That trauma left me completely uninterested in men, marriage and kids. Too unsafe.
They say life insurance, worker's comp, etc. So these trad wives expect socialism to take care of them if their husband drops.
@@the8thchurch461yikes what ended up happening to your mom?
@@HolisticLady-kh2imShe did an extremely bad job overall. There was this culture in Africa where people liked to send their kids to wealthy relations and that is what she did to all the 4 of us. She then (in her mind anyway), "teamed up" with her wealthy cousins by tending to their farm. I honestly cannot tell you what she thought this arrangement was. It appears she didn't want to work as an unskilled person and preferred to play a farm landlady in another's property but her cousins exploited her and didn't pay her. This was a very complex situation of a woman who came from an aristocratic and wealthy family and was embarrassed to be poor so couldn't see herself as a maid. There is nothing wrong with being a maid of course if life demands it. She tried it but felt it was beneath her so chose the exploited "farm owning lady" option. It was literally the very definition of hell for us because there was no money coming in from both parents. I suppose the wealthy relations we were dumped on paid all the school fees and everything else. I suppose that was the exchange. Ah well... the patriarchy is useless. Women empowerment is the only way forward for the safety of children and everybody else.
0:33 OMG soo true. The only women promoting it are the young/ish ones. They don’t have foresight 😅😴
They'll find out.
1:22 In her defence... She's a model, she HAS a job outside of social media and she and her husband are rich.
She said herself that making those cereal from scratch is NOT a daily task, but rather once in a while thing. And it is for CONTENT. Just like all those organisations for aesthetic videos.
Just like this video is for content
She's also promoting a cult
That’s not a defense. What you wrote proves how these fake tradwives try to sell a false reality. They aren’t even living full on traditional lifestyles.
That's not really a defense. That's the complaints lodged against her. Did you even watch the video?
I was once married to a man who after I played the trad wife role for, ended up cheating and being abusive and since I lived in a no fault state, none of that mattered in court and he ended up with our son because he had the money to afford a lawyer and such and I did not.. I had to represent myself and that is something that for the rest of my life I’ll regret doing (although I had no other choice at the time).I am now re-married to an amazing man who allows me to be me whatever that may mean.. if I want to stay home and just be a stay at home mom he’s good with that. If I want to go to school to teach yoga and run an Etsy store where I sell my handmade items like I am now, he’s good with that too. I really think it’s important tho to make sure you can take care of yourself and your kids because even if you never get divorced, you never know when/if something happens and your partner passes away. (Knock on wood).. so that’s why I’m doing what I’m doing and so I can be a good role model for my 5 daughters/bonus daughters. ❤
I was with you till you said that you were with a man who was fine with you staying home. That’s how you got into your situation in the first place. Men always switch up when their wife doesn’t work.
A lot of dad's who advocate for the trad wive life never recommend that for their daughter’s.
Seriously, growing up, every older male relative/family friend always insisted on an education before marriage.
Men who love you will warn you against other men like the lot of them are made of poison. That should tell us something.
Cooking your OWN food and cleaning your OWN home is not a job. I’m single and childfree by choice and I cook my own food and clean my own home and it’s not a job…..I have a job, a career rather. Today was my day off. I went and bought a some new perfumes, pick up my package from UPS, clean my room and car and now I’m home relaxing and eating dinner multi-tasking between watching this youtube video and the new Damsel movie on Netflix before I knock out and go to sleep in preparation to work tomorrow. My house is spotless, my car is spotless, my work vehicle is spotless, my house is quiet and peaceful and I’m a great cook. What I do for myself isn’t a job but rather the responsibilities that’s come with being an adult. Responsibilities that I love by the way. 🥰❤
20:49 Her story broke my heart. She had to go through so much at such a young age. Imagine birthing kids, nourishing them and putting your heart & soul into taking care of them for 6 years only for them to be taken away.
Not everyone can be saved, some women know but they think they’re special.
I also sympathize with women who have been brainwashed, and socialised to believe this crap
The goal isn’t to be a tradewife it’s to be a kept wife. I realized how much time and energy it takes to clean an entire house and I rip not be doing that on a regular.
My home life was the most UNstructured environment despite having two parents in the home lol we were homeschooled (unschooled) and had zero routine, chaotic family dynamics, no friends. We didn’t even go to church like I’m sure many of these trad families would want us to.
I went to college and finally got structure and became an actual productive member of society. I was in so much chaos growing up and it quite literally made me mentally ill.
Second one, with the flowing black dress, with Prof Neil stitcing her is the wife of Lucky Blue Smith…an international well known male supermodel. Sis has all the nannys, houskeepers, money and time on her hand to handroll every grain of cereal 😂 complet bs
Once, I was out of a job for two months once and IT SUUUUCKED. It sucked not having my own money, not being able to go anywhere because I had to watch my savings, having to rely on my husband for everything money wise, feeling like useless shit because I couldn't financially contribute, etc. Having time away from work (in education) was nice for a week, but beyond? I was feeling cabin fever after two weeks.
This stuff was a fake life for most of the people back then, too. It never existed outside of Reader's Digest and Sears Catalog ads.
Look at that old photo from the Great Depression "Migrant Mother with Children" with the white lady sitting with her hand on ther chin, surrounded by her kids. She was IN HER 30s.
But she looked closer to 50!🤦🏾♀️ Fairytales are for children.
They should offer TRAD wife insurance that is part of a prenuptial agreement.
It's crazy to me how this is so evil-y set up to keep women to stay in a marriage they hate, all because of the Trad Wife idea.
😢
That’s why they say they don’t care about your little career, and that they want to marry 19-21 year old women, to prevent her from attaining higher education.
An educated woman is a threat to these low life men which is literally your average man in 2024.
They will ruin that poor woman’s life.
There's a documentary about women who became ill from a brand of IUD they were on. Many of them were SAHM's and once they got sick, their husbands left them because due to the adverse effects, they couldn't have sex anymore. So these women with no money, no career outside the home, who are now ill, are left on their own with their kids.
Men will leave for any reason. Why leave your life in the hands of someone else
A trad wife's survival depends on her husband's sexual attraction to her.
@@sarahrobertson634 and many of them got those IUD's in the first place because their husbands hated using condoms.
Women need to stop putting their health and lives at risk for these men
@@coolbreeze5683 Those males can get vasectomies. It's a simple surgery with no side effects.
I will never center a male that way.
@@coolbreeze5683 That, and women and men didn’t want any more kids than 2-3. It’s not always a man’s fault.
I have been on both sides of the fence so I know a thing or two 🤭 My advice to women is to always have an education, your own money, and your own life outside of your partner and children. Trad Wife or Not, it will serve you well and your husband will respect you more for it in the long run. Trust me on this! There’s nothing wrong with being a Trad Wife, you just have to do it correctly and PROTECT yourself in the process. Likewise, there’s nothing wrong with being a non-traditional wife just be sure to not over work/ stress yourself. Be sure to enjoy your life ❤
As someone who grew up in a trad wife household and lived in a trad wife society and as someone who lived with their parents into their 20s. There's nothing more peaceful and liberating than living alone and knowing that you can take care of yourself. Coming home to a quiet and peaceful life, not having to deal w/ or cater to the emotions of others 24/7 is so calming. The blonde trad girl was just espousing traditional immigrant beliefs ironically. Especially the belief of women going from their father's house to their husband's w/o letting her live alone and experience getting to know herself.
16:37 freshman year of college was the best year of my life. I didn’t even stay and had to take a break for a few years but stayed in the far away state, literally across the country. It was great to grow up. I can’t imagine promoting basically staying a naive 18 yr old on purpose. You can grow up and stay in the same state for college, I don’t understand her forced dichotomy here.
I hate cleaning. I work full time and have outsourced all the cleaning. I do cook and do laundry but don’t lift a finger to clean. I’m spoiled that way haha
Its ok to be a traditional wife but if you are dependent on another person all of your life, what happens if he dies, is permanently injured or retires and YOU can't collect social security or pension bc you have never worked?
These people don't want to think about reality. It's Disney land fantasy all the way. A man dying and leaving the dependent wife impoverished? They don't include that in the conversation. They are dreamers.
The woman in Pink that Said you will never know something in your enviroment is not normal unles you step out of it and meet other People and see their perspective on things...so spot on!!! Thank you!
Yes...imagine convincing someone they are a victim when they are well and good only to destroy the family for them to realize later...they really did have it good and now they really suffer along with the kids being collateral damage. Congrats
23:37 EW! parents who kiss their kids on the mouth are red flags
I HATE how they try to paint being a trad wife as feminism when inherently its not, he doesn’t see your work and his as equal enough to pay you for it. Your labor is less than his therefore you’re not getting paid or getting any protections. And in the eyes of the laws you’re getting nothing and he’s getting everything bc he works and you don’t.
I’m not depending on no man to alone take 100% take care of me. Men are human and Humans are unpredictable. I would def make sure my name is on everything and that I have money for myself. And still make him the provider for the household.
You are smart!
A man is NOT the plan. Having my own money, being independent and flying solo is the greatest peace I have ever experienced.
The banking info hit hard. I am working in banking, and listening to this 79 year old woman cry because she didn’t know the online banking password after her husband died was heartbreaking. Oh, and she didn’t know how to use email to reset the password. She stopped working in the 1970s. Thank God she was on the account.
I grew up with an asian family. And the idea that I listen to teachers and I was 'brain washed' just makes this video hit home. My parents were kind and do care for me, but they weren't always right. And them being offended that I wanted to go out in life or knew what I wanted...
Why don’t they just admit they like to bake while wearing fancy clothes?
My view of Trad wife is there is a risk of divorce and being unskilled but there is a near certainty that a Trad wife will outlive their spouse, if they don't know how to look after themselves even if they are financially looked after there is a horrifically steep learning curve while grieving, at an age where you will be left.
And since tradwives don't work, there's no social security check, unless they qualify for their husband's. That's _if_ he doesn't leave you before he dies, and that you were married for at least 10 years. Plus, given that the average social security payment is $1400/mo, that's not going to get you very far.
But even if you can get your husband's SS, you're still not going to qualify for medicare. Good luck paying for your own insurance or medical costs out of pocket with that piddly SS check.
To any Trad Wife on here,
If you are looking to get out, start preparing long before he finds out. Document everything. And get a lawyer who likes to fight because you need to fight for yourself rather than compromise. Men who want trad wives seek CONTROL. The SECOND he knows you're out he will make it his mission to "bring you down" - and he can sit on that for years - but if you have stood your ground he will never bother you again! Of course listen to your attorney - do not take my word for it. 💜
One reason to not be solely dependent on anyone is that they can get sick, and die. Then what? There can be another pandemic, then what? Someone can get laid off, then what?
They can also become too disabled to work.
Whenever I see these trad-wife influencers who constantly encourage that women should live off of their husbands and not have any backup plans or just any savings for themselves because "if you're a good wife, hubby will take care of you", all I can think about is one of my all time favorite Madea movies, Diary of a Mad Black Woman.
You had Helen, girl was really out here being a good housewife, loving her husband, trying to keep herself looking good for him, cooking and cleaning and everything else a housewife does. Literally the perfect wife. And of course, what does Charles do?
He cheats on her after 18 years of marriage, knocks up his little hoe-bag and proceeds to dump Helen out to figure everything out on her own, despite her having no job and no money (especially since he also made her sign a prenup when they first got married so she could prove that she actually loved him).
You could be the most perfect wife in the world, not only is that not gonna garuntee that your husband will be loyal to you, you're gonna be in a shit ton of trouble if you have nothing to fall back on in a worse case scenario.
Also the 1950’s housewife that is being idealized by this movement was not as broad a phenomenon as we are led to believe. Even back then, that sort of lifestyle was only available to a specific wealthy (and white no doubt) subsection of the population.
My parents were born solidly into that era and both of my grandmothers were relatively educated and worked outside the home. One was pretty much the primary breadwinner.
Tradewife arguments are based on a past that didn’t exist.
Did u happen to look into the history of removing the man from the family by convincing women to rely and depend on the state? Big daddy government.
You never know when a tempting Breakdancing career will be dangled in front of that man
omg ole girl at 20:30 got the bad end of the deal and she is left still all alone. omg. i got misty eyed. this is very sad.
my parents had me super late, and my mom stayed at home for my dad for years before I was born, and even after. did everything at home and raised me, managing the house etc. when i was a little kid, she got very, very sick and nearly passed away in the hospital. my dad never showed up to that hospital once to visit her. she left him a month later with me. we were on food stamps because he didn't want to pay child support or alimony for a few years. she was scrambling to find work to support us. those are my childhood memories. she was always someone very smart and brave to me, it makes me sad that being in that relationship caused her such pain and suffering in her life, and at times i would even feel guilty for keeping her in that marriage longer just by being born.
3:09 also it’s not aspirational to spend two hours making cereal when I could have given them normal cereal and then just hung out with my fucking kid. He’s right, it’s just so useless and mundane
Culty AF 😳 they sound so STUCK 😲 no thanks they can have all THAT 🤣 choice is powerful 🤸🏾
When I think of tradwife phenomena I think of Betty Broderick
And we know how that turned out….
There is now a trend of 'stay at home girlfriends' Just No.
He can bring another woman home, sleep with her and make u watch and u can do nothing.
You obviously wasn’t keep him happy
I hate school so much, but I'm struggling along and about to get that all-important college education.
While the thought of a rich husband is nice, my experience paints men as all either shallow or users, or a combination of both. Definitely nothing to depend on. On the large, they're more like children than providers.
where are the 50 year old trad wives HMMMMMMM?
It's boring because it doesn't teach you new skills. It doesn't allow you to grow.
I'd go bat shit crazy if I had to stay home every day.