Why The TradWife Movement Will Fail | Mary Harrington
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- Опубликовано: 23 янв 2024
- Chris and Mary Harrington discuss why the TradWife movement is destined to fail. Why doesn't Mary Harrington believe in standard gender roles? Why does Mary Harrington think TradWives aren't trad enough? What does Mary Harrington believe men really want from a TradWife?
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The current economics and economy are not set up to accommodate trad wives this has been decades in the making
If motherhood is a memetic desire then survival of human species is just a memetic desire. That means that survival of the species depends on species not to become conscious and ask themselves if procreation is only their memetic desire. If people are not able to distinct between their memetic desires and biological need for procreation we are on the path toward extinction.
I had a trad wife. It worked for 15 years 3 kids, one income, paid less for my house in 2013 than my annual salary. I was winning. Powell, Biden, Blackrock, The CCP, and fortune 500 F&CKED me. The wife is going back to work at 47.
Reans
Yes and no. The current economy isn’t setup for trad wives, but I’d say no economy is setup to support traditional family values or lifestyles. You have Thomas Jefferson economics of small government and no big banks or private central bank and self reliance. Then you got Alexander Hamilton economics of private central banks and big government.
Up until 1971 a woman could choose to stay home. The sexual revolution and cia and drugs helped to change society sure and so did birth control. But in reality 1971 the U.S. declared bankruptcy. After that the government could steal purchasing power by printing money and stealing from workers even more. Because of this and more endless wars and big government and big Wall Street inflating away debt with the new fiat dollar many families had to have two workers in the family to maintain a similar lifestyle.
It’s not the economy though. It’s the monetary system and it is an important distinction. The monetary system or unit of account etc basically enables or stops theft through inflation. Massachusetts back in the 1600 created fiat currency to pay soldiers for helping raid and pirate against the neighboring French. The state literally paid for theft against the French. When they didn’t raid successfully against the French the government thought hmm. We have unpaid soldiers so let’s print paper funny money.
Read Murray Rothbard US monetary history or something. It’s on RUclips and shows theft and corruption and insider trading goes way back even when the U.S. was just starting. Theft by bankers and politicians is more American than baseball or apple pie.
It's not a movement. It's a few blondes who figured out a different algorithm niche to get attention. Real trads don't have tiktok
This.
Good point
💯
Got to be said that it probably helped they were nice looking. If they were all munters no one would give a shit about their cooking.
Not only that, its idealist to go about making societal changes via individual choices. A more materialist approach would be to use policy to incentivize the desired choices by changing material conditions. This is a viewpoint that Mary brings to the table as a former leftist; Philosophical Materialism. I think the Right is held back by Philosophical Idealism; They place undue emphasis on extraordinary individuals, ideology, and choice, rather than material factors. Humanity didn't go through radical changes because people came up with ideas one day. Feudalism, Slave Empires, Primitive Communal Society, Republics, Federations, etc, these types of societal states didn't ebb and flow because people liked or disliked concepts.
Trad wife is not a trend. We’ve always been around. The trend is the fact that people are talking about it again. But since the vocation goes against the feminist narrative, it isn’t often depicted in modern television or movies. And when it is, it tends to be shown in a negative light. Something like 30% of wives are homemakers even today. Most of us are just busy, holding up tradition, caring for our families and minding our own business. But I think it’s great that there are women who are proud of what they do, and are outgoing enough to show it on camera. And for what it’s worth out of all the women I know, the homemakers tend to be the happiest. And more importantly have the most stable families.
Women report more happiness when they get to spend time with their children, and both men and women report greater relationship satisfaction when the man is the primary earner.
Like you said, there are probably a tonne of happy housewives and stay-at-home mums out there, they're just not particularly present on social media. At this point I'd be a little wary of entering into a relationship with a woman that was.
Feminists are not against women who stay home.. we are just warning y’all to be prepared should you need to be breadwinner of your family.
Exactly. I suggest we stop referring to traditional wives as "TradWives" and start referring to consumptive, unpeaceful modern feminist wives as "UnTradWives."
That 30% stat is misleading. That's only during a child's early years. Women usually go back to work once their youngest is independent. It's unbelievably idiotic to depend on a man for your retirement and get rewarded with eating cat food at the end of your life for working decades of unpaid labor. There's a reason why twice as many women as men retire in poverty.
The only thing is, women have not always stayed home. Before the industrial revolution, in agriculture most women worked.
Agreed, it will fail. When men say they want a wife with traditional values, we are not saying to dress up in a 1950's dress, listen to Buddy Holly, and bring the paper and slippers when we get off work. That is all meaningless window dressing. What we want is a woman with integrity, a set of morals, and who is willing to work as hard to fulfill her role as wife and mother as the man is willing to fulfill his role as husband and father.
Hi, grandpa
I love Buddy Holly
@@fionacarroll5562 As we all should
I'm with Buddy Holly too.
Now I got buddy holly stuck in my head 😂
"... everything you do, you do it for the team." THIS, right there is the underlying code that is missing in way too many modern relationships.
Exactly this.
along with 'we're in it for the long term.'
That's what has made my irl friendship work. We don't have that many shared interests, but we both gotta eat so we split cooking and cleaning plus the coet of groceries. I never would have stepped up my cooking game like I did if it was just me or I had a crappy roommate expecting me to do everything.
The reason it’s missing is because history shows if you work for the team you get burned most of the time. So people become more selfish and self centered. whats really missing is trust and frankly I don’t know if trust can be restored because it’s been destroyed . I know for a fact I can’t be a housewife for fear of working for nothing at the end of the day. If there was guarantee the other party will play their role faithfully maybe I would sacrifice. But there is no way to guarantee that so I bet on myself first before betting on anyone. I cannot be a housewife because it will most likely than not be under appreciated by someone who is improving themselves at your expense
@@tanyamilewski5700 valid, but why does divorce exist? It's risen in correlation to feminism. In the end, women want both protection and independence (I say this as a result of living years in developing countries where women are grasping this). If there's one truth in this life: You can't have your cake and eat it.
The trend will fail as a trend because it's just another thirst trap. Being a loving wife with traditional values isn't something you record for clout
@@Woanaz It think her point was that it WON'T work towards substantial reality. These women will just slot in a trad wife phase into their life, LARPing it up, and then they'll divorce their husbands at the same rate as everybody else.
interesting discourse!
@@Woanaz Friend you’re the one that doesn’t get. Yes the glamorization of the housewife can work to attract a crowd of women. However in the long run it will eventually backfire because trends like these tend lack substance. Most women are not as beautiful as Estee Williams. Most housewives don’t have time to perfectly do their make up and groom their hair so they can be camera ready, because they already have their hands full taking care of the kids and doing chores around the house. Most women who get sucked into the tradwife lifestyle via this type of content usually end up hating it later, because it’s not as glamorous as they thought it would be. Aesthetic based social trends are usually just that: trends. Sure a good amount of women will give the lifestyle a try, but a lot of them will fizzle out because it’s not the picture perfect reality that was sold to them.
If people want women to become more traditional, then there needs to be a radical shift in thought, as well of a change of heart. Glossing it up won’t work long term. There needs to be actual substance.
@@Woanaz But the women ain't traditional, the just like the tropes... and they like men who fulfil MEN's traditional duties. Of course that makes women happy. And when that happiness gets challenged by a seven year crisis or whatever? Then its' "I just feel like..." time.
@@Woanaz I'm not saying traditional marriage will fail. I'm saying this "trad wife" trend on TikTok will. My point was traditional marriage, or being a wife in a traditional marriage, is not an aesthetic. It's not just a lifestyle, it's your life. And I find a lot of these women posting on social media are doing it for attention the same way a girl posting gym pics does
I don't know how it became the trend that when a man say's he wants a tradwife, women get the idea in their head that they should dress and act like a woman from the 50-60's era or live some colonial lifestyle.
I think most men simply want a woman who prioritizes family over career and is a helpmate rather than a parasite in the relationship.
If women expect the men to earn and provide, all we ask is that you do the daily chores, i.e.. cook, clean, do laundry, organize the household & affection; which may seem like menial tasks but have great importance in maintaining a functioning household.
Again we're not asking for slaves but we don't want leeches either.
Yeah but the style goes hard too.
I’ve never known a woman who is a “leech”. It’s men who sit around playing x-box if they aren’t employed. Plus, you don’t really value all those menial tasks. If a divorce happens because he cheated, then suddenly she “did nothing” for all those years, and deserves no compensation.
@@ChickFenwick
Then you’re only listening to the side you prefer
@@ChickFenwick😂😂😂Liar.
@@metoonunyabidness1391Exactly, she’d have to intentionally be living under a rock
I’m a TradWife. All my brothers and sisters are. Marriages reached 20, 30 years thus far. We all married young. We all have lots of kids. And we raise our kids with the same standards. BUT! All of us wives have degrees, no student debt, no credit card debts and we all have a way to support our families should something happen to our husbands.
Men are not infallible to sickness, chronic disease, accidents, disability or death.
All our professions are in positions where we maintain our licenses and certifications and can quickly rejoin the workforce if something catastrophic occurs. Other than that we all work together, help each other out. Like an Amish community without all the church stuff. We are Christians but we’re not strictly religious like the Amish. We’re more like a small village of ranchers and farmers. Made up of patriots, former military, law enforcement, medical professionals who grew up country. And we protect our children. We will not allow men who have no standards coming round to date our kids.
What's actually happening right now (and that the media seem reluctant to even discuss) is that a large portion of men are intentionally avoiding long-term relationships and marriage with women who lack traditional qualities. The popular narrative surrounding the "dating crisis" seems to be that women are rejecting a large percentage of men who do not meet women's high standards for attractiveness. This is indeed the case. However, the other side of the coin is that men are also turned off by modern women who are aggressive, contentious, disrespectful, egotistical and promiscuous, and men are now concluding that many women no longer qualify as wife material. It's reaching a point where men and women are no longer aligned in the relationship market.
Well said
Great comment!
Mostly due to unrealistic expectations of so-called modern women that wanted to have it all, but finally end up alone with cats. In the best case.
Bravo to all the above. ❤
A direct product of birth control technology and women entering and prioritizing workforce participation.
"What works best for them"
We'd been told for decades that non-parental childcare was ok, but now we understand it to be deeply deleterious.
It's also insanely dishonest to try and take the tradwife argument and dial it back to its most extreme - aggrarian poverty.
Some progress is good. Not all progress is good.
Agreed. I found this woman to be daft, and explain that deftness with (pseudo)intellectualism.
Is tradwife and softgirl movements the same thing?
@@StrategyCats No, not at all. Being a tradwife seems like hard work, the softgirl movement is about relaxing
@@StrategyCats I don't think so. There's really no secret to the fact that the tradwife movement sees itself has fairly hardworking.
I think the broader view - family unit childcare - is quite functional. Grandparents, aunts, extended family can be highly capable support systems that propel the family unit forward. My point: it doesn't just need to be parents. Our move to the nuclear family was a mistake - it takes a village.
Young people can’t afford to rent let alone buy family housing. We have fundamentally failed as a society.
My grandparents built a house working on it themselves and had to pay it off for another 20 years. They had to sell the family car. Now young people want to have a fancy car, expensive clothes and exotic vacations and then they complain that they cannot afford a house... 🤷♀️
Exactly, sir. My grandfather lived the American dream with one job working at a steel mill. Was able to afford a house, find a wonderful wife, and have a family. Just seems impossible nowadays.
No one I know my age has these things. We all work 50 hrs a week or more and barely get to buy a single video game to play during the time we are not working. Rent takes two or more weeks of work to afford. Get out of your delusion.@@One-Ring-To-Rule-Them-All
@@One-Ring-To-Rule-Them-All average age now to get a house is 36, highest ever
@@One-Ring-To-Rule-Them-All I'm sorry but making that kind of generalization is why people fail to understand how bad things are for the middle class and how unaffordable the housing market is. You can be making 120 grand and it still won't be enough to afford a house -from taxes, to healthcare, to insurances, to retirement accounts... Your grandparents got a house in a MUCH better economy and when the value was significantly lower. Not all young people live the way you say they live, as a matter of fact a very small percentage. Unfortunately that small percentage runs a lot of those trends make it seem commonplace
Im in my early twenties. I grew up in a community of what would be considered ”trad-wives.” All of my mom’s friends and my friends moms were SAHMs. All of them seemed happily married to middle class husbands and had multiple kids. To this day I have not seen any divorces among them. I just have to say that for those couples who are not performing, the traditional gender rolls work very well in my observations. This wasn’t a cult or a small town. I lived in a city and everyone largely went to different churches. These were just the families my family associated with. All traditional, happy families. That’s what I want to surround myself with kids with.
Good for you all!
You grew up rich
@@danielromerosol4158 many of us grew up with this in our lives, most of us were not rich during these times at all. Many of these families slowly became well-off during these times. To think only rich people can have this life is simply a lack of life experience because that's objectively false.
I think the association principle is strong here. People are definitely self-selecting like minded friend groups. I was saying something similar to where all my friends are in strong marriages, upwards of 20+ years. I only know a few people my peer level that are divorced.
Basically if all your friends are single and you want to be married, find new friends.
@@snakejazz The dad needs to earn or have a lot of money to have a stay at home wife/mother. You might not have to be rich in the sense of living in a mansion and driving a Ferrari but you need to be better off than most.
"What do you mean by 'women need to develop a strategy that isnt having it all'?"
To normal people thats called "maturing".
Stereotyping the tradwife as a woman who weaves and knits and sits awaiting her husband with a pipe and a hot meal is an obsfucation of what it means to be trad in this day and age. Its not a predefined set of activities but a mindset and a predisposition to live a moral and virtuous life, for both women and men.
I think that a home with two parents, and nearby extended family, that is able to keep a stable home for the children, where each parent is actively engaged with the children is the optimal structure for raising children. This does include relatives being involved too, as this was the structure going back millenia.
We should, as a society, create incentives to benefit people who live this way, as the next generation will be less violent, have less mental illness, and have a stronger connection to community
We are lucky that today we have so much for so little labor and we need to appreciate this.
My grandparents were pulled from school in the 3rd grade to work the farm, or the whole family may starve in the harsh Canadian winter. It was not too long ago that children needed to work or were put out. We need to appreciate the advantage todays society is capable of providing.
So what? "Conservatives" keep on saying this, being opposed to guys using surrogacy and building robots to help with it. But how to make it viable to have one income? How to motivate women to marry men on their same level? How to cut down their privileges? Yeah, nothing.
It's not the pulling from school that's the issue, it's the child labour that's the issue. School isn't all that great on all fronts, including private schools. Parents being more at home and more involved in their children's development is the real valuable education, and it can happen on farmland as well, only as you said we are lucky to get a lot for little labor.
Society does not need to create incentives for people to do what is natural to them.
It is impossible for our current society to create incentives to do the things you describe because its great wealth is founded on the backs of a worker class that is productive because it does not live that way. Societal elites use mass media and government policy to create incentives to do things that are *un*natural, like move away from your family and live by yourself so that you can spend all of your time either working to produce wealth for someone else or spending the money you are given on meaningless consumption to produce wealth for someone else.
You don't have to 'legislate' for trad wives - you just have to make sure the option is available for those who want it. One mans pay should be enough for a house, car, wife, and kids.
Umm, decades of living beyond our means, printing money, and constant inflation has assured that we will have to work longer and harder to make ends meet. Thus the one wage earner per family has long since disappeared and will not return, wishful thinking notwithstanding.
Bottom line: we're all getting poorer, we're sinking deeper into debt, and we probably won't be able to retire, if truth be told.
I mean, there's a reason that the homeless population is growing!
It should be, but it isn't for many wages.
@@leochen887 Ok, good points. Now you'll see an increase in faith and sense of community. That is always what happens when people are poor throughout history.
It would involve legislating the end of real estate speculators, good luck with that.
One man's average pay will NOT support a family of four in a First-World economy - it hasn't since the 1950s. You're delusional.
I am glad that Mary marks the turning pointing at the Industrial Revolution. People went from being families to being individual economic units.
I think many of the trad-wife influencers take up such a 50s aesthetic is because that's the only substantive reference they have for a tradwife. Most SAHMs who grew up with more traditional mothers are not social media influencers. I suspect most of the social media influencer trad-wives did not grow up with traditional mothers, realized the modern narrative wasn't working for them, and want a more traditional role. But the only reference point they have is popular culture, and the last time that was portrayed widely and positively was the 1950s. It is, in a sense, a larp, but for many I think it's a larp that wants to be more but is unclear as to how.
Or she dgaf about what kind of wife she is, and chad told her what kind of wife she's going to be if she wants a ring. So now she's just trying to figure it out on her own because she wants chads babies. I'd bet my left hand this scenario is SUPER common just like most pro-natalist's are women who were converted by their boyfriends/husband. It's called a patriarchy for a reason.
Women larping as traditional women in feminine attire - MORE PLEASE! I LOVE IT!!! ❤❤❤
@@bradleyb.425 You want Halloween Costumes every DAY? You're a child.
@@MichaelJames-lz7ni
👍💯%
I mean, 1950s dress is way more aesthetically attractive than the 1990's mom jeans and butch haircut.
Very true. Many women have never held a baby until their first child including my wife. A big problem in our country is the removal of home ed where they used to baby sit, and shop where kids created things.
as if men don't need to learn how to take basic care of their own kids?
@@seabreeze4559 both need training. At the same time, boys are usually taught to protect their siblings and their mother.
I doubt that would help - I was regularly forced to babysit 3 small kids when I was 12-15 and it made me NEVER want to be a parent!
@@judegrindvoll8467 I hear you lol.
Why are we pretending that being a traditional wife, even in modern times, is some kind of confusing term that's very dynamic between couples? It's very simple actually. Housework, vs breadwinner. Who's staying at home, minding the household and everything within? Who is going off to their job to handle finances? Sure, you can feign ignorance and pretend that those roles are interchangeable, or that both spouses can do either or, but then we aren't being traditional are we? You'd actually be considered very abnormal to the general populace with a male homebody and a female breadwinner. Most males wouldn't want to associate with a man like that, and most women wouldn't be able to maintain this relationship happily for long.
As far as whether or not the "movement" will fail, well, I tend to look at history and actual data. As it turns out the traditional nuclear dynamic of male breadwinner, female homebody is a tale as old as time itself. Biologically wired to be this way even in caveman days for obvious biological reasons and thus why it's been the dynamic regardless of country, culture or creed. It's an unfortunate time we live in where modern women think they are so much better than all the prior women of history, and the declining marriage rates, and exploding divorce rates are proof enough that it's not working.
In difficult times humans revert to basic instincts - father brings the food, mother rears the children.
@@BlueBlossomsBlues
Poor and middle class women have always worked
And for all the feminist propaganda, the statistics still say that a wife making more than her husband is a recipe for infidelity and divorce....
The fundamental problem with what your saying is that it's absolute bullshit. Prior to the industrial revolution most people were involved in subsistence farming, everyone worked at home. And everyone in the home, including women and children, worked. You'd have seen the same basic pattern even in the cities: people that were fortunate enough to have a trade would have lived above their workshops and the entire family would actively been working in the family business. Men and women in the landed nobility class did not work in the traditional sense of applying a trade, but did compromise the military class and even the women would have been expected to sew and be productive themselves. Prior to agriculture we lived in hunter gatherer societies and women did the gathering bit of that.
The concept of going to a job is extremely modern and in many ways we're still sorting out what that's going to look like for family life. But it is unlikely that for many women it's going to be a life of hitting the start button on a few household appliances and otherwise enjoy endless leisure time.
@@wyleecoyotee4252 yes, but their work is different.
This "trad" thing is cyclical. Every 80 years people tire of the "anything goes" culture and desire a firm foundation.
...and then "foundations" become oppressive and destructive....funny how/when that happens. It's almost as-if men don't learn anything at-all...
e-girls = wanting investment from men
tradwives = wanting investment from men
It kinda circles back around either way, to monetarily objectification of men; and what that entails.
@@TonyTheTGR I think you misunderstood the arguments made in the video.
Infants grow quickly. It’s a limited time job for a mom until they are old enough to be independent and not in need of so much attention. Women’s lives have a variety of chapters and phases. Seems the intellectualism and overthinking really gets in the way of living at times. Generalizing just doesn’t work as each household is unique. We are humans not robots to be neatly plunked into boxes and assigned a predictable task.
Yep, my parents raised 4 kids while running a business. Was it messy? Yes. But what are you gonna do? Gotta live life some way and unless you are one of the lucky few life is gonna throw some really nasty stuff at you.
@@Raya-ir4tm You seem to have misunderstood.
Great perspective
This discussion segment, with others like it, are missing details for men needing to step. I'm a grandfather, married 40yrs, that remember our mom being home each day to prepare lunch, maybe through gr.7 or .8. But even before our parents divorced, our father was pretty much only an occasional presence. My conclusion growing up regarding feminism was that it was largely a failure of men not stepping up to lead the household. The reasoning, in part, was other wives who had basically enough money, had reasonable autonomy of the home, had choices for health/exercise opportunities, and occasional social activities, where not looking for another job -- because they already had one which was recognized and mostly fulfilling. It appeared to me that men abusing women, or abusing children, or abusing their authority, were too often the problem -- maybe because they were just selfish, or maybe because they were not trained to lead, or maybe because they became uncoachable -- so much of this is men just not putting in the little extra effort to lead their families.
Jack Kerouac's On the Road, read with the coming history of feminism in mind, is basically the story of traditional society malfunctioning, nobody being able to fix it, and women just collectively giving up that it can be fixed and exiting instead.
Wow - thank you for sharing your experience and observations.
People “Figuring out what works best for them” HAS NOT BEEN WORKING!!!! Look at the state of our relationships for God’s sake!!!! 🤦♂️
Well said, sir.
Yeah, she totally face-palmed hard with that one.
@@Raya-ir4tm That’s not at all what anyone is advocating and you know it. Completely disingenuous.
My grandmother was widowed when she was 30 in the 50's. She had 3 children to raise and worked the rest of her adult life. My mother worked most of her adult life. My sisters, the same. People do what they've got to do.
Kudos to your to the women in your family. It takes a special kind of women to raise 3 children and work outside the home. The real question is whether that's optimal. I'd argue it's not.
@@boywonder4509 What optimal is for people to raise their children in tribal societies. That village is needed to raise that child. Nuclear families are way less important than extended families.
@@sarahrobertson634 While community is important the mother and father will have the biggest impact on a child's development. You can be part of a terrible community but if you have a stable nuclear family outcomes will be better than vice versa.
@@sarahrobertson634 Is your absurd oversimplification intended to be misleading, or are you just a poor communicator? The idea that the nuclear family is somehow *instead* of, rather than *in addition* to the extended family and community (tribe) is a propagandistic lie spread by those who want to overthrow the very idea of family in the name of state control of the population.
To say that having a mother, father, and siblings that you live with is "way" less important that having a caring community around you is absolutely laughable - both are important, but parents are MUCH more effective at producing well-adjusted children who grow into well-adjusted adults than caring non-parents. What makes a strong community (tribe) so important is that it enables parents who would struggle to be effective on their own (due to poverty, immaturity, lack of effective parenting themselves, etc.) to be good parents by providing them with support in the areas they are lacking. If they're too poor, they can lean on their neighbors for money/things of value. If they're too immature, they can lean on their neighbors for wisdom and support. If they're too busy, they can lean on their neighbors for care duties. But children need parents, a strong village is not enough on its own.
@@boywonder4509 What other choice would a widowed woman of 3 have? Not everyone got remarried.
Nobody is forcing anyone to do anything. Traditional people are promoting a lifestyle that we believe is the best and healthiest way to lead one's life. In other words, promoting a lifestyle that we believe leads authentic and lasting happiness in life. People are free to either take it or leave it.
She is on point. One income families, has always been, the rare exception. With farm, or rural life, everyone is working, at what they are best at. It’s city life, that has made it confusing. When the work is external, to the home. When one income, isn’t quite enough.
Both parties need to be adaptable, and dedicated.
I think you are confusing work with income. Yes, both adults work to produce. But generally the production of surplus for exchange was not exclusively done by both parties. One or both would put a good portion of effort towards production of what the household needed.
The modern/industrial era convinced people that to have things, you needed to buy them. Thus one "breadwinner" dedicated their time to the production for exchange (working for pay). In the meantime, the other adult would still focus on producing what was needed in the home as much as they could (cooking food, baking, cleaning, raising chickens, growing a garden, sewing clothes, etc).
Our post-modern world has convinced us to give up doing ANY production for ourselves, send both people off to produce exclusively for exchange (work for pay) and then use that surplus to pay for everything you would otherwise do yourself.
@@klosnj11 Whoa, over the target. Watch out, the flak is heavy there. This seems entirely too accurate and thoughtful for the internets.
@@light9999 Meh. It doesn't coincide with history. You can pretend that people disagree because they are close minded, but it shows more about you than others.
it's classist, not sexist
I think even during the 1950's that traditional wives worked part time after the children reached a certain age. It isn't about keeping wives at home during the entire marriage. It's about caring for the children from the most critical years - from birth to early teens.
Who said that it is a "movement"?
Its just women and men choosing how they want to live their lives.
Why should these women run channels where they're reading scriptures and telling people what to do, much of what they do is prescriptive. If they believe in the live and let live they wouldn't be doing this.
It's not a movement it's just a bunch of women who know what men want to hear posing on social media for profit.
*How they are incentivized to live their lives
I grew up in the late fifties and early sixties. It was a very middle class , catholic upbringing. Very few women worked, only women solicitors, doctors and teachers went to work. The men went out to work and women did everything else. Most of the women couldn't even drive (that did change gradually). A few of the women were happy, most were not. Most of the men either had affairs, beat their wives or did both. The women stayed because they had large families and could not cope without support from their husbands. The men knew they could do exactly what they wanted to and that their wives were completely powerless to stop them.
This would make sense if time wasn't limited.
Avoiding "guidelines" so women can "figure out" that they want family and children and a traditional male provider when they're already 35 years old is going to be nothing but misery and disappointment for them.
Nobody "figures out" everything on their own.
You don't wait for your kids to "figure out" on their own that studying is important, that they should avoid drugs, that they should show respect to elders and authority figures for their own best interest. Society, parents, etc all give "guidelines" on how to behave to give individuals a HEAD START on "figuring it out" so they can have happier lives.
OR AT LEAST WE USED TO.
Now we basically do the opposite and society is crumbling.
It should be natural traditional not forced, we can be modern yet traditional in values. Anything not sincere and extreme is never good.
The roles do not matter as much as the negotiations. As long as the two of you can negotiate for what you want and need on your own behalf, you have a trustworthy partner you vetted during the dating process, and you give more than you intend to receive, things will naturally fall into place.
Thank you! It really is that easy.
Oh, but the roles DO matter, a lot actually. There is a lot of material out there on this subject. It's deeply psychological, biological and simply evolutionary. Our mind, psyche and bodies evolved to be a certain way and our "modern" lifestyle only exists for like 50-100 years, while evolution shaped us for hundreds of thousands, even millions of years (if we dive into primal ages) and people think they can just switch off all that development at will...
There is a reason why the divorce rate is extremely high, why there are fatherless children, why psychological situation of people in the western (non-traditional) regions is absolutely abysmal, why marriages fall apart soon after they start.
Sure I agree that negotiation is key and I can even add that there are always exceptions but there is also a reason why many people fail at communicating what they need, at negotiating terms and, in the end, maintain relationship. It is mostly (not always) because people ignore their roles, ignore their nature, and then they just fail not knowing what happened.
@@Imhotephp "...as much as negotiations."
@@Imhotephp And people do not fail at negotiations because they fail to conform to an assigned role. That is pretty much the opposite of what constitutes proper negotiations. They fail to at negotiations because people are afraid of communication. It is hard, and most people have not developed the strength of character to do what is hard and necessary.
I agree to an extent on what you are saying, but believe you are moving the pendulumn too far one way and not considering other nuances.
@@S78332
There are no roles or assigned roles.
All the opinions of a "free woman that needs no man" ends when she hits 30
I don't think that the tradwife movement will fail. None of the marriage minded men that I've known over the years have wanted to wife up a boss babe. Women who espouse the tradwife lifestyle in the manner of Estee Williams will very likely have more successful marriages and an increasing number of boss babes will be on TikTok lamenting their lonely middle age.
You forgot to mention that the tradwife creators like Estee Williams are THEMSELVES "boss babes". She is earning money for her social media content, putting as much ambition and passion into her work as any other career woman. It's possible that she now outearns her husband, thus NOT even a tradwife.......
Most of the marriage minded men I’ve known wanted a woman who would bring a decent income to the table-and who intended to keep doing so, pulling back from paid work only briefly when kids came along. Most men resent-and know they won’t likely be able to meet-the expectations of “gold diggers” who want a man to be the sole support of a whole family forever.
Lol thank god for divorce and mostly for widow status
@@terry9238 "Gold diggers" don't want a man to support a family the create together, they want a man to support *THEMSELVES.* Sometimes that includes her children, but those children are usually considered a narcissistic extension of herself, not separate people who she has a duty to properly parent.
Isn’t Estee Williams a content creator? Doesn’t that make her a boss babe?
“People can figure out for themselves what works.” The thing that gets me about this statement is we don’t do it for most other really important things, like health. We don’t just tell people to eat whatever they like and act like there won’t be bad outcomes for bad decisions, and we don’t raise children like this. We don’t tell people this for their education, to just read whatever you want and see what happens on the other side. Modern man has an obsession with this idea of individualism at all costs and that all things are relative to the subjective understanding of each individual, and it’s driving people insane. It’s ruining families and destroying the culture. You are a physical part of the universe and your consciousness in no way makes you immune to the laws of physics. Your ego makes you think you do, but it is arrogance and folly that pushes mankind to this conclusion. As assuredly as gravity attracts planets, there are ways to be and ways not to be, iterative behaviors to take and behaviors to avoid. Yes there is variance, yes there is freedom. But the idea that standards don’t exist and we shouldn’t try to have any boundaries on what people are doing is leading to a lot of unnecessary suffering. When I want to learn a new skill, I go to someone to teach me how to do it so I don’t have to reinvent it from scratch. What a massive waste of time that would be, nor am I likely brilliant enough to reinvent it with any level of quality compared to the masters. How much more complicated are romantic relationship, child bearing, child rearing, and family dynamics than something like carpentry? So why in the world would you assume that you can just “figure it out” and not have serious issues?
I was curious to see how Mary would respond given her history as a feminist. Her visceral reaction was expected, immediately talking about legislation and drawing to a iron age analogue lmao.
Once a feminist always a feminist.
Iron age? Do you know that was about 3000 years ago?
Corporations have dumped too much money into feminism for it to fail. Why pay some dude 20 dollars an hour when you can pay a dude and his wife 10 dollars an hour each for double the work?
“Trad wife” is a lifestyle in balance with nature, not a trend. I have a masters degree but always was upfront about my trad views. Married at 25, 2 kids, successful husband, stay at home mom, but I’m doing part time work on the side to fund my designer bag & shoe hobby 😂 meanwhile my feminist friends in their late 30s are in debt, freezing eggs, can’t find a decent man without kids, or just a man who has values & financial stability, they are all low key alcoholics and depressing AF. Used to make fun of me for my choices and now…
It's people cosplaying the 50's, which is an isolated time in history. Before women were housewives they were FARM wives. BIG difference.
If your hubby's side piece surfaces, you'll be singing a different tune, Pickmesha.
Your entire life is reliant on another persons success and you’re shitting on others who don’t wish to be in that position. You’re not a better person for this…
your friends need to read the Bible and readjust their expectations and priorities. but than I would be a mansplaining misogynist 😂😮!
you sound bitter and broken Sarah. not judging i get it, I understand. been there too. check out divorce care and the book of Psalms. God bless. @@sarahrobertson634
No feminist have not said you can't have it all. There is basically no one in the main stream stating women should be mothers. It's more acceptable to say you dislike children or know you don't want kids.
I can't help notice that none of these "trad wives" have kids. I don't think they understand what a traditional wife is.
It's having a RUclips channel to get men to pay for their wife fantasy
I am not convinced they are married at all. Has any of them shown her husband? Was he wearing a matching ring?@@wyleecoyotee4252
Trad wife, as in 1950s stay stay at home mom with a single income husband, won't work today because it's simply not an economically viable option for the vast majority of families. The 1950s model is not coming back anytime soon.
However, I think we may see a return to a more communal or extended family based model. The kind of multi-generational housing you see in many other cultures will likely see a return if housing and inflation continue to rise. And in many ways, this is much more traditional than the single income nuclear family.
That would be cool. Works wonderfully in other countries. Multi-generational families living together can lead to a very strong sense of family and community, which is lacking in America nowadays.
Listen, I am just here to say I approve of the picture in the thumbnail. That's all. Have a great day.
Clickbait indeed
The trad wife movement isn’t a really a movement, it’s just the reality of women who marry well, such woman were aspirations in the past and they’re less admired today, but admiration or not, it’s not a movement you can join, it’s merely a choice you can make if you marry a man, who makes more than enough for one.
Wendell Berry has written extensively on this topic. His concept of the "home economy" covers many of the issues and concepts discussed here.
How is traduire going to die when women by large are regretting their modern lifestyle choices as they get older.
Fake news 😂
@@ChickFenwick nope, just go on any social media platform and see all the older women saying “where are the good guys at”. Sorry, but you lost your opportunity
That’s not happening in any major way.
@@ChickFenwick There are plenty of studies that show women’s happiness is declining. Enjoy your cat!
@@ogolden8315 studies prove you wrong
Alot of stay at home mom's become "wine moms" once the kids are old enough to go to school. With cell phones and social media these stay at home moms are bombarded with advertisements for a lifestyle that becomes unaffordable for a single income earner, without going into extreme debt
"Middle Class" is economically IMPOSSIBLE on the average male single-income.
So you'd rather a wine Tradcon SAHW 🍷 than one that is available to notice that she made a bad choice by marrying an average short king blue collar thousaner 😅
The problem with tradwifes themselves is not a gender dynamics issue but rather an economic one. Simply put, probably about 90% of the newer generations can not afford to have one partner stay at home and simultaneously pay the cost of children while wholy funded by a single income. This is a dual income world now. The children will be given ipads and youtube kids and be told to wait 8 hours while the parents go to work.
Women going to work reduced wages for everyone.. plus if poor people can have babies, then western people can.. u make such a copout argument.. and kids are at school most of the time
@@spiff1 How has women in the workforce reduced wages? The economy has grown massively so the pie is divided between more people, but is vastly larger to begin with. And would you be content economically dependent on a sexual partner for the roof over your head and food in your mouth? No. I bet you wouldn’t
The idea that only one person is enough to sustain a family is a modern upper class american one
U put more workers into the system, each worker isnt as valuable, not exactly rocket science is it. And it cant magically grow new jobs with no new demand. And this 'indpendent strong wahmen' thing hasnt really worked, its broken families apart, hence the word 'independent'@@joygibbons5482
The whole problem is definitely an economic one. Pretty hard to raise a family on under $150,000 yr.
I enjoyed her book. She made good points about the change of women's roles in society after industrialization. The goal should be to make it easier for women to contribute financially to the family from home with work that can be paused whenever needed to look after kids.
Such a passive aggressive approach from her, which begs the question, why the hell does she care?
Sunk cost most likely
For starters, she has kids. For seconds, isn't every well educated English, Canadian, and American person is passive aggressive?
@@chipcook5346anyone can have kids 😂
'Why the hell does she care?' My friend, even ivory towers get sieged if the rest of society degenerates far enough.
She's in the half rational half feminist crowd. There are many these days, somewhat conservative politically and against the obvious excesses of feminism yet living and working in the professional world which they feel they can't endanger by completely rejecting feminism for themselves. It's an awkward dance they perform. Like when she implied almost no one in the 50s lived a traditional working husband and at home wife lifestyle. Really? That seems like wishful thinking.
It isn’t about the June Cleaver-esque dress and necklace of pearls. It’s about priorities and values. Will the woman prioritize supporting her husband and taking care of children? Does she prioritize her family over her career accolades? Will she prioritize the family over petty materialist wants?
Modern Feminism has been teaching through the schools since 1970 what the roles are.
It provided women with freedom and autonomy.
@@wyleecoyotee4252 By destroying the rest of society. What an awesome trade...
@@zerofox2030 Read Kerouac's On the Road, with an eye to what comes after, and you'll see third wave feminism as more of a lifeboat than the cause of the sinking: Already in the 40s and 50s something was going wrong, and nobody could figure out how to fix it, so instead the feminists just left.
Puts the idea out there because she wants it to fail. She needs to learn to leave others alone with their choices.
What idea?
@@chipcook5346 What'st the video about?
@@clangerbasher More than one idea here, and I don't read minds. Therefore, which idea she would like to see fail is important.
@@chipcook5346 It's in the fucking title genius. Cringe debate bro's in the comment section.
@@dontcallthemliberals3316 Ah. The personal attack. Always so effective in place of simply clarifying in situations where they talk about more than just the title.
The problem with a lot of modern women is they think by having a career they must jettison any remaining femininity which men clearly don't want. So perhaps it's not a trad wife that's the best solution, perhaps it's enabling women to be ok with being feminine while also have their career path.
The problem was never working. For example, my Grandma worked until the day she passed away and that was in the early 90s. And she was one of those old school super-moms that did everything. Worked, cooked, cleaned, raised the kids, paid the bills, etc. I think the real issue is not the rejection of femininity or even pushing women to focus their careers but the devaluing of the nuclear family in the US. People(not just women) are just not taught that having a family is important anymore. I mean, often they are taught the opposite. A lot of times when someone has kids at like 19 you'll hear people say they "ruined their life" and stuff like that. And people, especially young women, are heavily influenced by social trends. The problem is that having kids and a family is a very fundamental part of being a human. And teaching people to go against their nature is resulting in a lot of them being deeply unhappy as they get older.
90% of people don’t have a career.
@@BrandonHeat243 that's totally fair
@@BrandonHeat243 or maybe those women were not taught but shown that having a family requires more sacrifice from the woman by their mothers and grandmothers. And they made a choice based on what they saw (not taught).
@@Emptytopfloor Sacrificing of what? Partying? Getting back shots? Watching TV? Going on vacation? Posting on Tik Tok? Your comment is a good example of the hedonistic narcissism that poisons the west. The things you "sacrifice" to have a child are of little value compared to the value of having a child.
I watched the full interview. She has some great points, but her take on “tradwives” was horrible.
She also misrepresented Matt Walsh as an Andrew Tate type character. I have a lot of complaints about him myself, but she acted as though he supported women being traditional and men getting to whore-around. She clearly hasn’t researched him or the variety of “masculinity role models” popular on social media.
You can have it all, you just have to really know yourself and narrow down what matters to you above all else.
Traditional roles are there for a reason. Cultures that did not adapt them did not survive and thrive as much.
What a bunch of garbage. You have NO CLUE how, or why cultures change - and how that affected survivability.
@@MichaelJames-lz7ni Right, because tribes that were led by emotional women with average IQs took over the world. Lol
@@MichaelJames-lz7ni And you do?
Being a trad wife is only made possible with a husband and wife who have the unique and distinct skills to be a trad household. Most men cannot afford this lifestyle and many women were raised by their fathers to hold three full time jobs (mom, homemaker, employee).
The idea that women go through some kind of highly conscious, entirely informed decision making process about how they organize their family for optimal functioning is laughable. 99% of us are on autopilot. We reflect back on our lives as if they were the result of a lot of conscious decision making, but in reality we are making most decisions completely unconsiously.
Trust me, if men show interest, a subset of women will do this and if other women see it and think it works, they will try the same thing.
She wants it to end.
Indeed. Women who have to work a job are viciously jealous of those who do not.
As fertility continues to decline, our culture's long term future will be dictated simply by who has more kids. Will that entail a return to traditional roles, in some ways? Maybe so. Those couples who prioritize kids/family above careers will probably have larger families.
conservativism, religion, xenophobia, low education and getting married young are all highly correlated with fertility across cultures.
ironically evolution is the single best argument against atheism.
great episode!
When one working person in a marriage can get you a house, a car, and anything reasonable that you want, you can be whatever kinda of couple you want. But as of now, both people could be working full time and they would be struggling to pay their rent, not enough money for maintenance of their broken down car, and virtually no discretionary funds to spend on hobbies or other life fulfilling activities. Start from the base. People simply cannot live with the money that they are earning, they are just surviving.
100%
This is not a "movement" lol it's a residual of what used to always be that for some reason isn't the norm anymore. It absolutely succeeds, it's not something that will fail overall, it's just one of the many options of how to run a household these days.
No, it definitely is a movement with its own culture. There is an underbelly to it when they get in too far. Ther have been articles written by women who got out after seeing a philosophy forming that okays marital force/rape etc.
I'm in a relationship where 80% to 90% of the time i pay for evrrything and my girl comes over to my place 5 nights a week and 4 out of those nights I cook the meals too and do the dishes, she will help out with those things too but then if she does it more than once or twice a week she starts complaining she feels like my maid. I dont think its sexism that if Im expected to pay the majority of expenses (90%) then i shouldnt be expected to also do the majority of the cooking cleaning etc. Am I crazy to think this? Ive had many convos about how i need more support but never outright said i think our dynamic isnt fair. Do I need to just man up and say it?
Hum I say these I earn more than my partner but he owne more asset tha me. He's a chef I'm a lawyer. There's no way I'll cook for him cause 1 he's a chef, 2 I hate cooking unless it's my fitness cooking which he despite. That xy has to learn that just because he choose a job that makes him go outside more than I do doesn't make me the defects SAHW. I keeping the space where I live clean out of necessity to prevent disease and promote order. But I won't pick up or clean up after a grown #$$ xy. Specially in the bathroom. That why like in a castle I have my own space that I keep clean and he has he's own space that he's free to keep in any kind of way he see fit. If he can keep it clean he's free to pay me or a real maid to do it, but I'm not cleaning after an adult able male . If I have to end up with to enjoy a life 🐈 and 🍷 to keep my house clean and my.mental health on top well bye beach
If you can find a balance where you feel she is contributing a fair amount, that would be fine.
If she is unwilling to change at all, you need to consider if this is the women you want to continue to be with.
>man up
Yeah, don't listen to anyone who says this. It's like a girl saying you're gay because you don't find her attractive, it means nothing. Honestly, your gf sounds like trouble, you should dump her as it's only gonna get worse.
All I can say is: Fuck expectations. Talk about it with her, talk about everything. Everything is negotiable. Discuss what's fair as far as financial contributions, discuss what's fair as far as domestic labor, discuss EVERYTHING. If you have vastly different ideas of what's fair and can't find a middle ground, move on. I did this with my wife before getting married and it saved a lot of pain the long run. When I acquired significant health problems from having a baby, the equation for what's "fair" had to change but we were ok because we had practice discussing that kinda shit. No one should be used, no one should be taken advantage of.
@@aawillma that's some solid advice right there. Thank you
Thank you so much for chewning in folks
when I had my son I was a traditional wife for 3 years, I wanted to be part-time at work but it was not possible, and working full-time was not good for my son or for the family union, I do not see anything wrong with that, I will not impose it to anyone if they do not want but I did it and I was happy, now I work 24-30 hours weekly and I take care of the house, shopping, my son stuff, and I am very happy. and my husband works between 38 -45, we work as a team. It was the way also my parents did it and my grandparents did it.
Everyone could do with a little more self-awareness and a little less following what they think everyone else wants them to do.
“And in a modern context where most of us work in the world of bits and bytes anyway…”. Tell me you have no experience with the real world without telling me you ‘have no experience with the real world’. This woman thinks the cars she drives built themselves and drive on roads that fix themselves. Manual laborers are invisible to her.
Thank you Mary!
Love this - people can figure out for themselves what works - that's a positive. I have said this for some time. 27 year marriage where we are traditional in some ways and not in other.
I had the same thought a while back about familiarity around babies and children, as many millennials seem frightened or at least uncomfortable around both groups. My grandparents were parts of families with 5 or 6 kids (with many cousins), my parents both had 3 or 4 siblings (and many cousins), I have 2 siblings and a decent amount of cousins. Many of my peers have fewer siblings and cousins than I do. You just get less experience around various ages of human when your family is smaller
Absolutely all of white collar work fits this pattern. Kinda interesting seeing a feminist just thinking in blue collar categories while her only big win in the modern work world was implementing hr
My white collar friend's who had small children during covid all reported incidents of being let know they would be written up if they were to allow their child to distract in anyway from various phone calls and meetings they held during the day.
@@nicholascarter9158 missed my point. You are talking about workculture thats something else
@@user-bh2sd1if9o My point is that it doesn't matter if the physical logistics of the work should allow you to be partially asynchronous if the owners and managers of these businesses just insist on you being synchronous for the hell of it anyway.
@@nicholascarter9158 yes but i wasnt referencing your point but hers. Now saying that i wasnt referencing you is kinda interesting. Thank you for telling us your point of view👍
My grandfather was alive and running in the 50's as a WWII vet; they stories he told me of how women behaved and what they were up to scared me straight outta EVER getting married, Ever having kids and eventually Ever having relationships with American XX widgets and Eventually LEAVING the States. IF they had had IG in the 50s - nearly every girl would have been a Betty Page girl (just like today)
Great interview - she's spot on.
There is an inherent entitlement to TradWives. You have to be well off enough to have a one income household to be a housewife, and for most of us, those days are long gone. I believe that is also why the role of househusband never took off to a larger degree, because again you have to be fortunate enough to be a one income family to do it.
I didn't hear even one answer to the questions listed in the description. I think it makes sense to take the time to write a description that actually matches the content of your excerpt.
I think the problem with standards is they are often being literally just that, standards, and that word alone puts a lot of pressure on both sides. Whether you are in a relationship or not, we are always "waiting" for the next one that has it all, we are just being in this relationship because it's all we have but one day we are ready to throw it all away for the next "soulmate"
This creates a lot of pressure and resentment towards the current partner. We want them to be our girlfriend/boyfriend/lover/partner/mentor/travel buddy/fitness instructor/home cook/financial advisor/spiritual guide/idol/this and that. It is healthy to have standards, it is not healthy to expect it all from the same person, and not only are you doing a disservice to your current partners by projecting those standards on them, but also on yourself because all of what you want in a partner is all of what you miss in yourself, which puts you in a place where your happiness depends on their performance. Vicious cycle.
We jump from relationship to another like we're shopping for people! The grass may be greener on the other side, but water the grass you are standing on first, and if it doesn't grow, maybe there is something wrong with how you're doing it. We are so ready to jump ship onto the next one, but not ready to stay and get through the storms
We should seek ways to apply in todays time what is outlined in Proverbs chapter 31 verses 10 to 31 titled Wife of Noble Character.
“ You can’t outsource that …”
Obviously has never heard of a “ wet nurse .”
She was talking about the connection between mother and child. You CAN'T outsource that
@@captainbeastazoid7084
Oh , I knew what she was saying , and I was being a bit facetious … however … to your point .
The “ bond “ between mother and child , in the old joke , happens at the nipple .
There have been several experiments done along this line , using chimpanzees… bottle fed , and wire frames … with and without fur to mimic a “ mother “ …
Even one that gave electric shocks unexpectedly I believe … poor little beggars …
Interesting results show that infants will bond with almost anything .
That special “something “ a mother supposedly imparts is fairly easily replicated.
Rich folks have known this for generations … no need to involve yourself with grubby little people with loud voices , runny noses and filthy hands … when you can hire a nanny or Au Pair to get all that bonding silliness out of the way .
You merely oversee the child rearing .
They present you with a clean and tidy , well mannered and trained young person in a few years .
Whom you can send off to military or boarding school with confidence .
You still visit each other on holidays and other occasions… of course .
Come to find out , you can outsource almost anything , if you have enough money .
Came here for the left part of the thumbnail 😟
Real traditional wives are not posting about themselves online.
My wife, cooks, cleans and stays at home with our kids. She doesn’t post about it online she just does it because it’s life.
It be like if I constantly posted about going into my corporate job.
She’s absolutely right though.
As someone who knows a lot of non traditional women(close friends and family, neighbors, etc) those who have been made/pressured into conforming into the SAH box are miserable and those who have been given the plenty of social support to pursue their education and career and have a family(or not) are much happier. I know so many smart, hardworking, talented young and old women that would be unhappy and unfulfilled longterm in the “tradwife” role. Women who break this mold are treated as second class women by conservatives because still in this age a woman’s value will always be reduced to how she can serve men(physically or through bearing the bulk of childcare and household duties). We’re people too(we have passions, goals, talents). I don’t think I could ever marry a conservative man who didn’t let his woman truly shine by taking on his fairshare of duties at home and encouraging his wife in her endeavors(these men exist but they are rare).
Just let people live their lives as they choose as long as they're not harming anyone else. Period.
It won't fail because it literally never has since the dawn of time.
my wife and I are in a "traditional" marriage in the way that she can stay at home with my income, but she is far from "trad," and I am one of maybe 4 people I know in my industry that has a wife that stays at home. We see the value of the sacrifice for the kids. we don't want more material things over their well being, but I guess I have to agree with her. We do what is best for our own as a team. She certainly can work if she wants to, but she happens to agree that the kids are more important, and they do way better with mom at home. it is a luxury that is very, very rare these days. Thank god I make enough to do that. She is also a wizard with the finances.
You can't change technology and expect values to remain the same.
There do need to be guidelines and morals and values around what is expected of men and women in a committed marriage. A part of why so many marriages are failing now is because there are no guidelines for couples to follow. They’re floundering to make up their own new ones, based largely on their own selfish interests and what society says it means to be happy. My marriage almost fell apart, and the thing that saved it was when I started researching traditional gender roles and learning that there ARE in fact big differences between males and females and how we view and handle the world! Reading some of John Gray’s books and learning about Biblical and traditional marriages have been real eye openers and saved our marriage.
I would love to be a tradwife, I don’t see how that could work out for me. I’m a nanny now, I’ve cared for and bonded with many babies. I *could* bring my own (future)children to work with me but that seems insane. I’ve always wanted to give my own family my full attention. When the kids head off to school, I still have all these skills that make me valuable when I go back to the workforce.
You’re more valuable to your children
Why let someone else raise your children for 6-8 hours a day?
So who is with your baby?
If your husband is going to be the primary breadwinner, you could be the primary caretaker in that scenario. Meaning he works more hours than you, you work less hours and spend that additional time being a homemaker. Not only is there nothing wrong with that, it's likely better for your children as well.
@@metoonunyabidness1391 I wouldn’t. I’m saying if I had to I’d bring them with me while I nanny for another family, although this is not my ideal! I would never let someone else raise my babies. Btw, Im not a mother yet!
@@reina4969 My babies don’t exist yet, this is theoretical
Thank you.
As a raging feminist I have to agree with the people defending traditional wives! Both girl boss and traditional women on social media are not accurate representations of what these paths actually are offline. They can both be balanced and healthy. However I find social media likes to do polarizing content to rack up views and keep up interactions on their posts to keep them relevant.
1:42 "...you do for the team" That has been my problem for decades now. None of the women I have been in relationships with have that mentality. They all want to be taken care of, and asking them to put in any real effort is viewed as oppression and sexist.
What "effort" do you desire from them specifically?
@@alexisc7565 shut up feminist. they should know their place in the system.
@@alexisc7565 Maybe continue to work a job, cleanup after themselves, you know the things people do in a relationship independent of gender/sex.
That "household is the basic economic unit" is the penny drop moment. this is how i treat my household
As economists have put it. Traditional home wife lifestyle was forced to end because the U.S. declared bankruptcy in 1971 and since then has been stealing purchasing power from workers. Before 1971 when gold was money mostly only one provider in the family had to work, but after 1971 and all the theft with inflation and money printing you need two workers to maintain a similar lifestyle.
You can thank theft from government and banks for that. The federal reserve ifs private paying a 6% dividend. Some women do stay at home still but many women work simply because of economics cause they have to even though they may not want to.
SAHM wives have always worked, but they predominately are at home/field and see that is their primary responsibility taking care of the home and kiddos. My husband and I are a team. It’s hard to make this commitment with leaving the back door open for divorce, like so many women advocate for.
I don’t care about the TRAD wife movement aside the fact that it’s showing that it’s a lifestyle that still makes sense when you’re both committed to the team.
I read about an interesting study that was done in the 1950s that showed that when middle school girls were asked which woman they most admired, they were 11 times more likely to choose their own mother if their mother had a job outside the house. Girls whose mothers were stay-at-home moms tended to choose historical figures instead of their mothers (and when you think about it, if a girl says "Marie Curie," she's choosing a woman who had a job).
so what's your point?Stay home moms were disrespected or were considered non ideal?
Probably because those moms were always telling those middle school girls to clean their rooms, help with dinner, finish their homework, get to bed, no, you cant go to the party on a school night, and lecturing about not giving it up for the hot quarterback. Total buzzkill and lame, those stay at home mom's.
Just sayin'
I want to see which of the girls report the most happiness later in life 🤔
@@nathanmorgan3647 It's because, in an effort to sell more fucking dishwashers, there was a massive push to make housewives seem like losers who only did stupid jobs without real value (so buy my machine to do it for you instead!!), at the exact same moment our whole economy shifted to do almost everything that a housewife before the Great Depression would have been doing economically irrelevant.
With the rapid inflation both partners will have to work 40+ just to be able to eat
People have raised giant families with less than our poor have today.
You just have to choose between Netflix , iPhones an the like or your family…
@metoonunyabidness1391 At least in America, large families have been out of fashion for quite some time. At least since the 1940s. I believe the average cost of kid born in America today from birth until they turn 18 is $250,000. That means in order to have 4 children you need to be a millionaire. This isn't luxury purchases either, this is insurance, taxes, school tuition, food and baby formula, gas and larger cars, medical bills, and having a house appropriately large enough for a child to grow in.
@@jacrispy1150 "house appropriately large enough for a child to grow in" - I remeber growing up in the house my grandfather built. Three rooms, four generations, three branches of family. It was enough. Don't see the point why it can't be enough today.
@@jacrispy1150
Your “average” is offset by the people who buy their kids iPhones and cars…
My neighbor has 6 kids on a welders salary…
@@metoonunyabidness1391 That's simply because children used to earn you money, not cost money
If people could figure out what works best for them, there would never have been a self-help book. Women should be taught what a "traditional wife" is with its advantages and disadvantages. And, they should be taught what a "modern independent woman" is with its advantages and disadvantages. Then women can make decisions that will help them achieve their goals in life.
Do what makes you happy. My wife and I agreed to live smaller so she could raise our son full time. You're not a bad wife/mom if you choose to work. It's totally fine. Just don't judge others who live differently.