Tex Ruins history as the Italian Navy (Ultimate Admiral Dreadnoughts) Part 6
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- Опубликовано: 30 сен 2024
- #ultimateadmiraldreadnoughts #ultimateadmiral #blackpantslegion
This is not a serious take on naval history, but more a shitpost thereof. Please take everything I say with a grain of salt.
I'm sorry, Elmo Zumwalt.
The game is Ultimate Admiral Dreadnoughts: store.steampow...
In Ultimate Admiral: Dreadnoughts you play as the head of a navy doing what the head of navies do best - spend entirely too much money on holes in the water, or, in laymans terms, ships. You can design very stupid things. I do this.
Music from Epidemic Sound - www.epidemicso...
![Tex saves the Habsburg dynasty [Part 1] - Ultimate Admiral Dreadnoughts](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/vGRNWi344_U/mqdefault.jpg)
![Tee Grizzley - Blow for Blow (feat. J. Cole) [Official Video]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/wNLN5xsx5dc/mqdefault.jpg)
God speed EXPORTO. You were one hell of a ship. Would be cool if the game had the option to retire ships as museum ships. Could be a way to increase public support and naval prestige or something like that.
Tex to his destroyers - "Congratulations we are retrofitting you into submarines."
"due to new instructions from the admiralty, we are reassigning all ships of destroyer tonnage to seafloor observation posts..."
"what use is that going to be?"
"they will make great reefs."
"..."
@@FearlessCrusader100 It's economic warfare. The submerged destroyers rip up the enemies fishing nets.
@trentonarney6066 that sounds like enemy propaganda, surely our Glorious leaders couldn't resort to such tactics. Balderdash I say!
That first battle... holy shit.
Can you imagine how fucking wild Drachinifel's channel would be in this alternate history?
Now THAT'S where it's at
As someone who has put almost a thousand hours into this game; the absolute SLUGFESTS you can get into are pure insanity. It can get pretty brutal.
The 5 minutes guide to those ships would be great.
@@razorburn645 Wonder if we could get him to do it as an April Fools video?
@@the13inquisitor59 Oh fuck I think he'd struggle to stay in character.
imagining him saying "Gabagoo" with a straight face is really close to breaking me rn.
"Tex's Guide to Reef Making" Build big ships with big guns, then sink all other ships in ocean and eat pasta. Oh and Don't forget to salute Poseidon with limoncellos .
Transcript of the Austro-Hungarian Admiralty meeting September 1913:
"In summery, we lost our fleet in the Adriatic to the Italians, everything was sunk. No reported enemy losses."
"How many enemy ships were sighted?"
"The report states four."
"Surely that is a mistake? Our Adriatic fleet had two battleships and nine heavy cruisers, we know the Italians have deployed oversized fleets of destroyer class ships, forty enemy ships is more reasonable yes?"
"Sir, the report clearly states four large warships."
".... Fourteen perhaps? It is impossible for four vessels to sink an entire fleet!"
"Again sir, multiple sources in the report state only FOUR enemy warships in the area at the time of the engagement."
"..."
"My God... What monsters have the Italians created?"
"And... they are building more, Larger ones"
Laughter of the "EXPORTO" crew wafts gently above Adriatic Sea. "Four ships to sink a fleet? Pffftt. Amateurs."
Exporto was crewed entirely by adhd AF madmen who got hard ons from feeding the sharks. Nothing compares.
"Was it the EXPORTO?"
"No sir it was a fleet of Gaba'Go"
...
.....
"What?"
*smash cut to enemy fleet commander blasting classical music and yelling "GABAGOOL!"
"I have to fight their whole fleet with only four battleships, now surely this is going to be a _DISASTER_ ." Says the man who sunk the entire US atlantic fleet with a *_Single_* battleship.
With a single CASTOFF battleship, no less.
and he did it just to prove a point too... 🤣
0:11 The destroyer in the intro always makes me happy
It's just happy to be there :D
In this episode, EXPORTO hands off the baton to Italy's next generation of fleet clubbers.
I am going to pretend that for _Exporto_ , "Scrap" meant "Make a museum ship"
@@DIEGhostfish well, when a ship is "scraped" it's actually just sold to the highest bidder. someone could have just bought the Exporto and turned it into a museum.
60 knots? I think the game thinks the DD's are actually torpedos. which uhhh... isn't exactly inaccurate considering this battle...
"It's a Ferrari boat! Please pit now."
As an F1 fan, that statement causes a severe amount of stress followed closely by phrases like "In in in, stay out stay out" and "We are checking...".
💀 I hope this year is better. But after hearing a Ferrari blew a manhole cover up in Bahrain like Vegas gives me an ulcer.
@@chilliewhk being a Ferrari fan is like being into competitive CBT and being a Leclerc fan is being the world champion of CBT. I know, because I am both and I swear the man is actually, factually cursed.
"SLO BUTTON ON - SLO BUTTON ON!"
Kimi, you cannot have the drink.
But they say it all with the most sincere passion.
Good lord watching Texs modernish dreadnaughts rip apart the AH's antiquated fleet with ease is just 🤌
"captain we outrange, outspeed and outgun the austrians how do you wish too engage them?"
"Full speed ahead"
"B-but captain"
"AND TURN ON THAT COMBAT MUSIC"
Also watching tex just slap on secondary armaments like that without much thought is giving me an anurism lmfao
Insert Todd Howard's "it just works" songs
Accellerate to Murder speed.
i can't hear that symphony without visualizing the pelvic thrusting God-Emperor-of-Mankind from the video where he discovers lemons are an artificial creation.
@@MarkoDash God 0 : Big E 1
Italians ramming Austrians
Strangely... historically accurate, including the vast amounts of casualties, actually winning though wasn't ever a thing at least from my sketchy-as memory. The white hot levels of arse-hurt between the two, oh now THAT is historical!
I miraculously refreshed at "6 seconds" after this went life hoping for something interesting to watch. So, here I am. Thanks for the show papa Tex. Give em hell. Or diavolo or whatever.
Names for future Italian ship classes:
The Calzone
The Fettuccini
The Alfredo (sister ship class of the Fettucini)
The Penne
The Linguini
The Mozzarella
The Parmesan
The Goomba
The Belecima
The Badabing (torpedo boat destroyer)
The Badaboop (gunboat destroyer)
The Fanz
The Stromboli (super battleship)
The Capisch (sp?)
There needs to be a EXPORTO II
@@electrohalo8798 Exporto Supreme and Exporto Benne.
@@schaddenkorp6977 Exporto Supremo? I don't know Italian grammar.
@@Archangelm127 Exporto Magnifico
Beepity Boopity class light cruisers
"What's this!? Music added in post? In a Tex video??!?"
Production-quality jumpscare.
That first battle was essentially a giant: "Call an ambulance! BUT NOT FOR ME." Moment
Italian is such an elegant language.
It's amazing how a single exclamation like "Gabbagool!" translates in to "Back the way you came!"
Tex asking the Italian Army to take stuff
Italian Army: We'll Send General Luigi Cadorna!
So... A surrender, then.
Yeah, the sanic speed destroyers are going on average 120 knots, which is indeed a bug that can be fixed by reversing their propellers and making sure they slow down to a stop, which takes a while.
Alternatively, you can just let them sail around manically until your enemies sink them.
@@ouanlynch6404 How about no. That would be letting the enemy get victory points. Also the sanic speed bug is not exclusive to destroyers.
Now that's ramming speed
@@TheShardsFamily unfortunately when the boats are going that fast they basically just phase through the other ships. making any potential ramming damage be very little.
@@NightLexic I managed to glitch my 1950's Super Battleship into 90knots and it tore open everything it touched and I only suffered hull damage... it's very odd.
i love the idea that the other nations had observers watching you beat the Austrian navy to death.
going home to try to tell their navy about the way the italians fight. attempting to explain that even if we could somehow win, the italians would savage the fleet so badlly we couldn't fend off the next fleet. besidesd, the italians would fill our ports with their destroyer hulks.
More pasta navy? Best news all week.
Ooga booga
Bullying people into accepting pasta as their carb of choice
Had a lot of laughs (especially with the sonic speed DDs) thanks Tex!
Also, Drache means dragon in german. Which is probably more terrifying than Dracula. So even more furious sinking is in order!
Fun fact, Dracula means son of the dragon, so it's slightly less terrifying than dragon by technicality.
@@AGrumpyPandaOh, I did not know that. Thanks!
@@shadow96001 To give you the full story, Vlad III Tepes (also known as Dracula) was the son of Vlad II, who was known as Vlad Dracul ('the dragon') due to being part of a knightly order called the Order of the Dragon. Thus, Vlad III got the nickname Dracula, 'son of the dragon.'
A wonderful way to help me through the last 2 hours of my shift. Thanks Tex!
Our titanium hulled dreadnought fleet will rule the seas!
Is that enemy smoke on the horizon?
Forward unto glory!
A fresh faced lieutenant scans the horizon with binoculars and calls out:
-Admiral it is a fleet of 50 small boats armed with Punt guns.
The Admiral grins with pleasure
-Those poor fools...
The lieutenant lowers his binoculars solemnly, hands visibly trembling.
-It appears the enemy fleet is commanded by Tex of the Black Pants Legion sir!
...
Insert clip taken from the microscopic level of waxed mustache tips curling furiously from fear. Perhaps they are also screaming at a pitch too low for human hearing to perceive.
-Oh God dammit!
Tex still treating his destroyers like they've got 0.9mile range torps, classic.
I do like it when the game range evolves beyond torpedo swarm tom foolery when playing.
Lol then treating the Battleships like they're still rocking mark 1 guns with nor fire control.
I would not want to be in the italian navy. Much victory to be had, but sailor survivability not so much. :D
Theres just something therapeutic about listening to classical music with heavy caliber guns firing
1812 to live cannon is always a treat. Gods, but I do love my artillery boys.
"Whose lake?" "MARE NOSTRO!"
Also, FANTASTIC choice in music 👏👏👏👏
Destroyers: "But Pap Tex! We a gatsa go fast! Gotsa deliver de pizza."
The Exporto joins in on the final battles to further grow it's legend. Terror of the eastern seaboard, consumer of the US cruiser fleet! Watches her sister burn down in the finality of it all.
I feel bad for those tiny austro-hungarian armored cruisers. They tried so hard but were just outgunned and out fought in every way. Also they made me think of the battleship piece in monopoly for some reason.
Second, all ships make smonk 💨💨💨💨💨
THIS IS THE ELBOW FROM THE TOP ROPE
OUUUUHHHH YEAHHHHHHH
Hey tex! Thank you for continuing this wonderfully fun and silly series, it brought a lot of brightness to my day.
This series has been one of my favorite lets plays of all time. Tex, you are a goddamn treasure
"The Italian Army has been a mixed bag"
Yeah
My headcanon is that the destroyers went to uberspeed because someone put "Deja Vu" on the radio :D
Always love the Ultimate Admiral vids, hope that when this series ends we'll get another!
I'd love to see him run a Russian fleet, honestly.
Oh hell yeah. I don't need sleep. I need Tex causing problems on the high seas.
“Hutz… battle music!” Perfection.
Amazing music choice. New world symphony is incredible
Mumma Mia! Do you have Rear Admiral's in the Itite navy?
Mr. Tex, thanks for the great content. I had heard that life got a little rough, and I am glad to see these full play thoughs of BTA and UA:D. These always make me smile, laugh, and almost fall off a treadmill while running.
3:53 [Urge to rewatch Legend of the Galactic Heroes intensifies]
by the way if you press the map shaped button in the top right it'll paint all the regions controlled by major powers in the correct way.
makes it easier to tell who owns what
Your right, that was going to be a massacre... FOR THE OTHER TEAM!!! XD
Could you make a dedicated ramming boat by making a cheap destroyer with speed and a bow that has BB armour?
the italian army probably just charge into austrians fortified machine gun positions like 40 times, eithout enough boos for all the soldiers, as they did in WW1
"Giuseppe, why You do?" - One of Tex's Captains, probably.
STOW SAUCE! STOW!
I can see the Austrian Battleship crew looking over their sides and saying "This isn't fair." At the same time the Italian Destroyer crews are looking up at the Austrian crews and flipping them offas they ram them.
That first battle was hilarious
The Pasta Fleet has returned! A joyous occasion!
The italian space destroyer fleet has engaged their engines heh
We're going right through.
*proceeds to overpen a shot on a heavy cruiser* 😅
This series is better than magistratum of mundanis. Seriously. This series shows what Italy could have done if they ever had competent admirals. I'm looking at you, mousillini.
*Glares even harder at the king.*
YES! FOR THE MIGS!
Dvorak. A fine choice, Mr. Hutz!
I'm enjoying this series so much that just the first three seconds of the intro song put the biggest smile on my face I've had all week. Never change Tex and (I'm assuming) Mike.
I think Hutz did these ones
I hope there's a load of this in the can, because patch 1.5 is due soon (TM) and apparently it's a save-breaker.
He said on a wbpl stream that he had like 3 whole campaigns recorded and submitted to the editors - including a Hapsburg run on the Atlantic, I believe. There's plenty of content in the hopper
Hell Yeah, Italian Super-Battleship!
Beefaroni is just a tad low on secondaries....
Good Battle Music Hutz...
Love the music, nice addition!
Bring Florida... the rigatoni.
Just love how the Destroyers ended up being PT boats with all that speed!
**arguing passionately**
After those fleet losses there were many sad sad Hapsburgs crying in their strudel.
Sorry Drach but apparently in this AU Italian torpedo boats are IN FACT capable of speeds in excess of 60 knots. Rozhestvensky shudders.
The 4th movement of Dvorak's New World Symphony is a prime cut, grade-A, delicious slice of battle music. Exquisite.
Tex, I have a request. Make an Urbie themed ship.
Cheap, armored, somewhat powerful, but most importantly... slow.
If that's not going to fit this play, figure out how to make an SM1, blue water navy addition.
Accelerate to Murder Speed
Tex has a point to make: ITALIA
You should've sold Tex the MiGs, Albania!
Montenegro, because it's there, no other reason.
Ever since that Rome thing fell apart.
Battle cruisers haven't been invented yet
This is the elbow from the top rope, oh yeahhhhhh
Tex has made your navy bye bye
Team Dropkick and Team Punchface
Currently reading last year's release "Dark Waters, Starry Skies: The Guadalcanal and Solomons Campaign, March-October 1943" and recommend it. A close look at the naval/air battles and the decisions of that part of the Pacific campaign. Almost daily air action and naval engagements a few times per month involving destroyers, cruisers, and land based aircraft on both sides; including the ambush of Yamamoto.
"Is it a battlecruiser?"... "those have not been invented yet"... it is half the size of the GG, with 9" guns, half the armor... I think honestly these do not classify as battleships. That is simply a overweight protected cruiser.
So... this beefaroni... I actually make -aroni/-mac with most of my leftover soups, just to extend the dinnerspan of those dishes. Why would someone be perturbed by saving money on what is essentially two different, but related, home cooked meals?
Somewhere in the basement of the italian naval base in Taranto sits president Begaj of Albania tied to a chair. In front of him, Mr Tex with behind him a table manned by Meme Machine with a giant pan of Ragú and a carbonating machine. "Was it really so difficult mr. Begal, to just sell us a couple of 2nd generation jets? Was that really such an insurmountable hurdle? [Meme, get to cooking.] See, you are now, for entirely unrelated reasons of course, our guest. And as you well know we italians wouldn't invite you into our home without offering you something to eat ...I hope you like spaghetti carbonata. And if not, well, there's probably a couple hundred Type 59s you're hanging on to that we could chat about."
It is January 1918 and the central party of imperial Japan has ordered the construction of a 75k tonnes warship wielding 5x3 turrets of 15inch guns and a smattering of 8 inch case mates.
New idea for a battleship board game mechanic. You are commanding a Russian fleet. So your submarines sink themselves, and your other boats randomly catch on fire.
I played the whole new world symphony back in Highschool. Nice nostalgia trip during the first fight
Funny, I am playing Austia-Hungry and France declared war on me. Their navy is 4 times the size of mine but I am winning all the battles. My ships are just better.
That 10ish minutes of Vinyl Crackle instead of music was worse and 4 hours of "Boots"
I love this series, I do however have issues with the text on screen at 15:27. von Spee did win Coronel with zero losses, but how many people did he subsequently lose 5 weeks later at the Falklands? (1,871)
You lost 10 people to boredom. They just tried to pull a AC Black Flag and dived over board to swim at the enemy.
Wow, Tex, you made the LCS in the early 20th century. It still is useless, but at least yours can do its advertised 50+ knots.
That Spain is a state story reminded me of the time I was Playing Crusader Kings and i turned Irland into a Merchant Prince Republic. We had trade posts in Africa and Harrased England when it was fighting the Scottish with armies of mercs. God alt history is always Hilarious when you actaully think if the historical ripples
The New World Symphony (feel free to check me on this, it's been awhile), but you are playing Italy? Not sure I can handle the dissonance.
Doesnt Austria-Hungary own the Czechs right now? Dvorak seems an odd choice for fighting against them,
I know it is a bit late, but what about doing a melee mech like thw Hatchetman or Axeman for a Tex Talks? That or maybe a vehicle like the Demolisher, Manticore, or Hetzer.
If I could I'd animate Tex walking around on the ship while all hell breaks loose, the waves and whatnot while moseying about on the prow with a book and some binoculars.
Tex has unlocked Hyperspeed Destroyer mode. Now he needs to unlock Porsche Drifting skill in the tech tree.
I’m more upset the Exporto got scrapped. At least let the destroyer of the US Navy retire with dignity.
Welcome back to my favorites, thanks RUclips, lol. Take care all and keep on keeping on 😎🤘🍻
My head cannon for this is that in 1890 the Italian Kingdom hired a disgruntled American Captain to take up the role of fleet Admiral and between his experience at sea and lack of experience in conventional tactics this is the end result as Italy marches across the Earth.
Starts battle
Tex: I'm gonna do what i can.
Ends Battle
Tex: Lets call this land New Sicillia
Whether through skill or raw, unstoppable POWER, that first battles what I live for
" The Deathstar is within firing range!" ADM Tex: "Fire at will Commander!"
For Battle Music may I recommend Hector Belioz Marche du Seplicher(sp)?
I'm sure the newer stearing methods for all ships would save a ton of weight! Try them out instead of sticking with base level steam :D