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Julien Julien, my sister's name is Julie, and her last name starts with an N. I haven't watched this video yet. Your videos are pure gold. I just want to make one point. I was watching one of your previous videos, and in it, you said, "Life is short; you could die at any point. The ceiling could come crashing down on top of you," and that this creates a sense of urgency. I would just like to say I understand the importance of a sense of urgency, but I wouldn't repeat that idea to yourself too often. The subconscious mind can't take a joke. I don't know if you have read "The Power of Your Subconscious Mind." Joseph Murphy tells a story of a man whose daughter was in terrible health. He said, "I would give my right arm for her to be healed." He repeated this to himself often. Anyway, some time later, he was in a car accident, his right arm was torn from his shoulder, and his daughter was instantly healed of her arthritis and skin condition in that moment. I also think that it's possible that the creator of Apple and the iPod, Steve Jobs, who would look in the mirror every morning reminding himself it could be his last day, may have led to his early demise in his 50s. He died. Anyway, the subconscious mind can't take a joke. Anyway, your videos are pure gold, so I just wanted to say this. I am sure you've read this book, but anyway, thanks, dude, for your videos. They are empowering me enormously.
Hello i wonder what kan you do when all of the peppole is stuped 9 graders that vandalizes things every week. I Don’t whana talck whit them😅 from the contest of the first ep i imrowe my social skils.
Living for self alone is antithetical to a self-denial lifestyle. IMO, it's easier to live for self which would be more gratifying. "Oh I like taste of pizza, thus I go buy pizza for self. I like action movie, therefore I watch action move even though others don't like it nearby. I like red pants even though my wife hates color of red, thus I buy red pants. " The one who benefits is one person and self....More challenging to live for others such as family members, neighbors, etc which requires energy and consideration; where self and others benefit at same time. "I like hamburgers and also my family, therefore I buy hamburgers." So I'm thinking of scope beneficiaries based on the action is greater in value than where one self benefits and Jesus Himself taught to love and to do for others, not self.
@@JulienHimselfis the mindset twofold, 1. one nobody cares about you your not a celebrity and have no fans you, they are self absorbed npc characters, leading to not caring what people think, and 2. i am the hero in my movie, aka i am the most important person, in my world, are both these mindsets combined the key to awesomeness, i think these are similar to david x two rules, who ares what they think, and i am the most important person in the relationship, ... curious if these two mindsets are the key to generaly awesomeness, as exhibited by yourself, leading to automatic shift in unconscious expression of body language, voice, what is said, etc everything, maybe the mindset of a natural and the masses of people have absorbed some other mindset that stifles them, and that this is the freeing unstiflying mindset of a natural, aka someone socially awesome,
@@kevinmcmillin870you are mistaken buddy, he isn’t a narcissist, he is genuinely helping others. He approaches a confidence mentality very well imo, indeed logical. Most people are actually covert narcissists, only care about themselves, but will lie to get what they want, while hiding who they truly are. So those of us who have self awareness, and passion for good, indeed should see ourselves as hero’s, and treat the world like it was meant for us, not bad people.
Realizing that nobody cares is tremendously liberating. It gives me the opportunity to focus on my own beautiful weird dreams and not give one flying fuck about even the idea that anyone can stop me.
As someone who had a brain aneurysm at age 23 totally unexpectedly, heed that warning! We really never know how long we have. I laughed when he said “brain aneurysm” right at the end bc it was so on the nose. 🤣 Grateful to be here, and I still need that reminder sometimes not to wait! Thanks Julien. 💜
So many smart words, thank you! Its hard to live simply without the need to impress, compare etc. As you said, at first it feels sad but then so freeing to realize that noone cares, (and if ever they do its projections and speculations) nothing to stop us from being us ☀️
I think alot of peoples social anxieties stems from the belief that a stranger is gonna reveal your ultimate truth from that first encounter and that will define you from then on.
It reminds me of one of my poems. I wrote it soon after the war started: *** In this world We play different roles. We have different faces, Different stories. Someone lives on the shore, Someone lives on the water. Right now Someone is grieving, Someone is full of joy, Someone lost their mind, Someone is dying, Someone is being born. Something happens, And starts. Something ends, Something changes. Everything runs out, And sparks. In this world we're just actors, That have fooled ourselves. We are dust under the feet of strangers, We are the wind on the skin. When we die, Some will cry, Some will heave a sigh of relief, Some will think "Serve them right! ", Some will be scared. But the majority don't care. When we die, The world will keep spinning. But while we're here, And our hearts are beating - Be yourself to the max. In peace, in war, Surrounded by enemies, Or in safety, When the road is clear, When nothing is seen, Around differences, When celebrating, In bad times, In good times, Stay your true self, To the max.
I’m really grateful RUclips recommended this to me. I’ve been talking to my gf about how I’m just struggling being authentic and free at work or other places. I’ve been wanting this exact help for awhile. I needed this. I’m grateful for you doing this and I miss the part of me that I lost awhile ago when I was confident and free. Thanks for giving me hope again and helping me relearn what really matters. This is just great.
Ah. This was basically a version of the first video I've seen from you, the stop caring what others think of you. Hit like a thunderstruck back then and started living by it. Now my subconsciousness wants to get back to the sad track (jupp, because misery is addicting and I sooo deserve it, while I don't deserve it). Found the problem. I started to run from my thoughts again and put social media on instead. Make others think for me, doomscrolling is a bitch. Useless. I put this stupid phone to the side. Mind wants to go back there and I actively realize it wants to flee again. Nah, I replace you, social media. With my own thoughts. Because my own thoughts are the best entertainment I can have, and it builds a strong personality in doing so. Don't be afraid of being alone with yourself and your thoughts, you will be amazed how smart you really are. Wouldn't be able to do this on my own without your world changing videos Julien. Big respect for you and your work.
So grateful for your kindness and free content.I am loving my journey and your clear advice and sense of humour just reinforces the greatness of being on earth in this floppy skin suit.❤
I actually found this video hilarious, tbh! 😂 I laughed a lot. I had to show this to my sister, who has feelings of self-consciousness around people and feels judged. She laughed a lot too. 🤣 When you say, "If you think you are a celebrity, realize you have no fans. You're not even a has-been; you're a never-were, a nobody," this is super funny, I think, because it's the elusive obvious. And yes, the realization of it is super empowering! 🤪 I can also appreciate this video so much more. The fact that you have yourself internalized these messages is super apparent. You're basically a living embodiment of these realizations. 🙌👏
This gave me an ephinany, of course, I would look up things like: How to stop drinking or how to be liked more. How not to be anxious around others. How to have a more attractive personality. The whole time the answer was in the How to stop people pleasing section the How to stop caring about what people think and live for myself section...finding these videos has helped ne so much!
I love how you dressed up, like the hangover of fear and loathing in Las Vegas. But what you psychologically bring to the table, is that of a Zen-Buddhist. Well done.
Key insights 😌 It can be freeing to realize that people don't notice or remember you, so focus on impressing yourself rather than others. 🙌 The key is not seeking revenge, but rather proving others wrong by achieving success and personal growth. 💭 Most people don't think about you as much as you think they do, so don't let their opinions hold you back. 😎 Be yourself and prioritize your own wellbeing because ultimately, no one cares about you and you're the only one living your life. 🤔 None of us truly know anyone else, as we only see parts of them that they choose to show us, filtered through our own perceptions and biases. 💡 "The only opinion that matters is your own. Ultimately, the opinion that really matters is you on your deathbed, how do you feel about the person you were?" 😌 Live for yourself and don't worry about impressing others or proving your enemies wrong, because in the end, it's your own opinion that matters. 🗣 On your deathbed, you won't care about what others thought of you or if you proved your enemies wrong, all that matters is how you felt and if you stayed true to yourself.
Your lectures have been very helpful in understanding why many personal walls were torn down recently! A true eureka moment Used to dream for years of playing piano in public, now I do it for fun (even singing along) eventhough I only started learning since beginning this year. Thanks for your amazing insights into understanding what a healthy way of living is!
The little kid comment is meaningful to me. In combination with doing some inner child and shadow work myself I started looking at people as if I were looking at child versions of them. This does 2 things that I can think of now, makes their words less impactful and makes it easier to see who they are at their core giving me the ability to connect with people in a more organic way. A way that is not cluttered by their ego and image.
The thing with me is that I feel like I need to put on an act to be attractive to women because I’m short, I’m 5’2”, so I feel like I have to compensate for that by not showing any weakness or vulnerability because I already start off looking weak and vulnerable. A big guy can be vulnerable, bring himself down and be a “gentle giant”, which women still like, but a small guy (in my opinion) has to always be strong, because any vulnerability would be a turnoff (if she’s not turned off already) Not sure if this is true or if it’s just in my head, but this is how I feel about it.
The most important thing to realize (especially for men) is that only vulnerability can create deep bonds between people. The loveliest guys are those that have a way of showing they're capable of being real and vulnerable. That's true strength and what we are really looking for in others.
I've had very profound love or turn on to short guys, it doesn't matter at all! I'm sorry that society pushes on our insecurities like that, trying to tell us all that "right now we are not good enough". It goes for everyone, no matter what our looks are. So the most important is to be in gentle relationship with yourself. When you're able to be a safe space for yourself and then, for another person. There's nothing more turning on than maturity. And all who don't resonate with that, well, have to grow up on their on. Becoming a stone is the worst thing we can do here. Then people become so cut off of their senses and empathy , that they start the war. Please remember that true power is gentle. You've got this.
its humbling to be broken by your words and energy .. if it broke you can fix it confidence is somthing you do and can be fake .... confident is somthing you are and dont do
Thanks Julien. I needed this video today. I just had the worst job interview of my life. My mind went completely blank & I don’t think I made much sense due to my inability to articulate myself when overwhelmed with anxiety. The interview was for another better paying position at my job. But, now I would rather not even show my face at work again. It was bad. What’s worse is they were even trying to help me lol. In my mind it will be talked about for ages. After watching this video though, maybe it’s not as bad as I think.
keeping you may get the job anyway, it is a possibility that your mind going black was your unconscious mind protecting you from saying the wrong thing in the moment, who knows you may get the job, would be curious what position it was your were going for, if its a position where you do not require to socially engage with people your lack of social mastery may not even be an issue and could be a benefit and work in your favor, who knows, good luck dude
This so resonates. I remember years ago when I used to be a Dr. Phil fan his father said to him “you wouldn’t worry so much about what other people thought of you when you realize how seldom they did.” #DustInTheWind 🤠
Not when you’re an attractive person. When you’re attractive, you become part of other people’s personal movies. They subconsciously hope something happens between you two.
You proved it right there though. You’re not seeing them as a person they are, you’re seeing them as someone you build up in your head. You see them as a potential character in your reality.
Great video, I also do seek a therapist when I have a problem, and usually my therapist who is like this 70 year old, very direct and not beating around the bushes.. ( one time I was called a fool , which offended me ) she says that most of the things are projections, like people push what they don't like about themselves onto others, but there is a trauma techinque, called Courteau Projection Techinique, and Inner Unity, which makes you realize not on a conscious level but on a deep subconsious level that is something that is within you, and that reaction can be changed. I think that's why there are problems in society because people don't realize what they don't like about others is a mirror into their own souls.
I wish everyone could get 1000s of hate comments on a you tube channel and respond with thanks or have a narcissist ex that consistently gaslights and used children as pawns. Believe your internal truth and things in this external world we live in become weightless upon your social foundation. I feel like I could give this same tip for living a life as a superhero in your movie. Everyone else is just a background character. Live life as a sigma male and your own rules and ideaologies. Never heard of you Julien but good talk bud.
I was at first thrown off by this guys attire and image, however, about 9 minutes in I really was resonating with his message and vision. We are all so absorbed in our self image and social media, that we have lost a common ground of mental cognizance. We are all becoming introverted weirdos that don't know how to socialize properly, and its because of what we are watching on our phones and T.V. screens. Learn to love, learn to share, compassion for all human beings, its the only answer there is to prevent our own destruction.
There’s people in History that will never be forgotten though, with his mentality what is the point of achieving anything? Do something great to be remembered for
One way of thinking that surely changed my perspective is at some point all of us who are here now won't be. So I might as well let my radiance shine while I still have a chance instead of being so concerned of what other may think of me. They're going through their one shot of life just like me.
You have taught me sooo much! Thanks Julien. My take away is that when you allow yourself to be yourself, then you can fill some of the childhood energy and creativity coming back or better say they will become more clear and as you said I do feel more relaxed! P.S: I watch your videos till the last second and I also take notes! thanks!
It appears as though you’re either too lost or too found to take this in with any sort of pragmatic or altruistic nods toward your own being, which is okay. Not everyone is at the behest of fulfillment and joy, such as yourself, clearly! We all should surely be so envious of your ascension in life, as it obviously transcends anyone else that is willing to post nonsense on a comment board that will be buried in a few days. Perhaps you can see this profound fork in the road as a sign to follow the path of least resistance that’ll kindly ask you to beat it, dork, be cool or be gone. Much love 😘
By being valuable to society you become an actor in many others movies. No need to overthink insecurities or trying to figure out childhood drama. That makes your past the focus of your life. Focus on the future, be good, have impact and don't make a profession of overanalyzing yourself.
When I hear "stop caring about what people think of you ,they don't care and they haven't been in your shoes" and stuff along the line , I know what it's trying to convey but my mind suddenly goes in the line of thought of "What if things they're saying can actually help me be better, What if I just stop caring about other people and become a loser asshole" This is the mental dilemma I'm currently facing
So what if people decide to bully me and my friends that's none of my business, that's where your wrong, when people decide to bully me and my friends, that's when it is our business, no one bullies me and my friends and gets away with it, so your opinion/argument is irreversible
this is the realest shit. used to follow him and rsd back in the day. it was always controversial to admit it, but i always saw the deeper message behind their message. same with eminem.
"What if you were to die? How long would people actually think about you?" My girlfriend died 3 years ago. I think of her every day without fail, at some point lost in the reverie of wistful reminiscence, or tearful paroxysm. I think you're making a point about our social identities vs authentic selves, but we are not all the heroes of our own movie, nor should we be. And as a socially interdependent species, the need for social approval isn't a psychological pathology, (though it can be), it is a survival imperative and natural instinct. It's natural and healthy for children to want the approval of their parents, for instance. It is necessary for survival. People who society disapproves of are impoverished, homeless, incarcerated, or institutionalized. There is no real "you" that isn't socially conditioned. I feel like you're combating the narcissism of modern culture with cynicism.
And I hate when people like him say that " no one is thinking about you because they're too busy thinking about themselves'' that's literally the problem in our society and he's just encouraging it, people really need to break this cycle
I think about it this way...most people in movies and tv from 50 years ago (usually even less) are COMPLETELY UNKNOWN to people today...and they were famous!
I go against everything this guy teaches because I have hyper awareness and anxiety so i notice EVERYTHING about everyone around me. From someone taking a selfie to what someone is wearing, eating, even how they walk, etc, and thus my brain makes me think everyone is the same as me. Its extremely frustrating. 😅
Julien I hope you know about what happens in Israel right now. What should all the people without their families do with the traumatic events the happened to them??! How can we help them???
When it comes to working with ppl, how come that doesn’t matter what people think? If people are saying my product isn’t good, they think it’s worthless than how shouldn’t I care about that??
Great video Julien. But I wanna ask u something, do u reckon u can make a video about how to stop stuttering, it's a pretty big problem for most people out there (including myself) and sometimes it's not even an anxiety thing. It's ok if u don't want to make a video about it, i can't force u to, but I keep searching and you're the only person that has truly helped me, so I trust u. Great video btw👍
Great video with good points but you know there is a reason why we care what others think. You still should try to give everyone you meet a good impression and should present yourself well. It’s a group survival advantage to be likeable. However you shouldn’t let other peoples negative perception of you get to you that deeply because people do only have a surface level understanding of you. Don’t let negative criticism get to your soul and shatter you. And instead of making other people the enemies make yourself your biggest competition, the one you have to become better than.
To people saying something about Julian’s clothes, I think that’s the whole point. I know plenty of women, with education and good careers, who give it up on a nightly basis to some dude who looks like he got his outfit from Foreman Mills, and just got off a shift from loading UPS trucks. It’s because they’re bold and have confidence. That will get you places in life.
A bold and confident guy dressed properly would still do much better than a bold and confident guy dressed like a clown. The problem is that he put on this outfit intentionally. It's not that he just doesn't give a fuck about how he looks, it's clear that he gives a lot and put a lot of effort into it. That's why we judge it.
Heads up- This is a good speech for people suffering with social anxiety, but I really wouldn’t recommend it for people who feel depressed, suicidal, insignificant, rejected, abandoned, isolated, excluded, unloved, etc. ❤
Well that means I can do whatever the hell I want. This is a good lesson for me, having been an obese kid in the 1990s. Lol. Fat people stuck out like sore thumbs back then, and you thought the whole entire world was watching you. Judging you. But in reality, they smerked at my fat hips and forgot about it the next day. Because I’m a nobody and that’s a beautiful thing. I wouldn’t want To be someone that’s constantly judged, looked at and remembered forever. Every single inevitable mistake could be extremely detrimental and fear would control me. We can live our life to the fullest, knowing that we are free as a bird. Our brains is the audience and we must reap all joy from life
Before watching this, I have been contemplating the same realization for a long time. Though too afraid to say it, out of fear of ridicule. How reassuring to hear someone else say it out loud. Thank you so much. Oddly enough, even though I know this, I am extremely socially awkward and have been my whole life. I'm almost 45 and afraid it may be too late for me. I have had moments though, where I felt and was free. Though short lived because as soon I allow myself to feel free It's not long before I get derailed by others through there threats and attacks against me. I think others can sense me feeling free and it causes them to hate and attack me. Sadly, I have no solution to counter this reoccurring problem as I am not a big or violent man. Am I alone in this understanding? Is there a peaceful solution? If you can, will you please help me?
Hey Nick! I totally relate. I am 25 and have been socially awkward almost my entire life. But I have been benefitting from the letting go exercise Julien have shared in his videos. I started believing that it is not totally hopeless for me to overcome my social anxiety. Letting go required me to introspect, so I can let go of the past experiences that convinced me that people are attacking me. I realised most of the time, people are not attacking me, I am simply projecting my bullies from the past to the people that I interact with. After regularly letting go of my past trauma, I noticed that the strong sensations I used to feel in social situations no longer come up as regularly. Along with the sensations, the thoughts that people are out to attack me also go away. Hope this helps!
@@nsfeliz7825 This is not doubt, this is a fact you can know and decide your core values. But, who you totally are will always be an elusive concept. To get as closer to as truth you gotta see your reflection through others.
I've been letting go for close to 9 years now and the results have been insane... Watch the last 20 minutes of this video: ruclips.net/video/4CH7gKme9Y0/видео.html
Hello Julien i'm french i supose you speak french, i think because you are from Switzerland. To make short i really like your video it help me a lot especially at the beginning if RUclips not recommands one of your video and if i hadn't clicked, i don't now where i'll be today then thanks you and continue.
The importance of authenticity and its link to well-being is supported by research. However, the statement "no one cares about you" might be an oversimplification. While it's essential to prioritize one's well-being, it's also crucial to recognize the importance of social connections and support. So, this idea is partially true.
Like you’d do anything in life. Repetition and practice. Try and view things in a more positive light even if they go badly. Your mind will thank you for it.
to become more socially free i would fully internalize this message, knowledge of it is not enough that is my personal opinion, i would watch this video every day for six weeks or longer, or maybe 3 months or longer, i remember watching a video of bob proctor talking about he is reading the same 2 pages of a book for 3 months to shift his paradigm, i think is basically completely necessary and what super successful people do, they dont just know it they drill it into their mind until it changes them internally, then it is expressed fully externally their unconscious makes a new them that expresses what they have internalized, i think all the greats have fully internalized it leading to identity level change not just a surface change which maybe of some help but isnt enough just my humble opinion,
Hmmm if I was bullied I would wan't to work on myself and figure out ways to prevent bullying in the future. There is great sense in working "in reaction" to something that happened to you, it gives great purpose. Nothing wrong with the "never again mindset" imo.
I find these videos very interesting. What's your view of the role of spirituality in all this, if any? Interested in getting your thoughts on this? Thanks
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Julien Julien, my sister's name is Julie, and her last name starts with an N. I haven't watched this video yet. Your videos are pure gold. I just want to make one point. I was watching one of your previous videos, and in it, you said, "Life is short; you could die at any point. The ceiling could come crashing down on top of you," and that this creates a sense of urgency. I would just like to say I understand the importance of a sense of urgency, but I wouldn't repeat that idea to yourself too often. The subconscious mind can't take a joke. I don't know if you have read "The Power of Your Subconscious Mind." Joseph Murphy tells a story of a man whose daughter was in terrible health. He said, "I would give my right arm for her to be healed." He repeated this to himself often. Anyway, some time later, he was in a car accident, his right arm was torn from his shoulder, and his daughter was instantly healed of her arthritis and skin condition in that moment. I also think that it's possible that the creator of Apple and the iPod, Steve Jobs, who would look in the mirror every morning reminding himself it could be his last day, may have led to his early demise in his 50s. He died. Anyway, the subconscious mind can't take a joke. Anyway, your videos are pure gold, so I just wanted to say this. I am sure you've read this book, but anyway, thanks, dude, for your videos. They are empowering me enormously.
Thats so interesting that you’re from Switzerland! Do you still live there? I’m Swiss myself
Hello i wonder what kan you do when all of the peppole is stuped 9 graders that vandalizes things every week. I Don’t whana talck whit them😅 from the contest of the first ep i imrowe my social skils.
You seem like a goofball. What are your credentials
Living for self alone is antithetical to a self-denial lifestyle. IMO, it's easier to live for self which would be more gratifying. "Oh I like taste of pizza, thus I go buy pizza for self. I like action movie, therefore I watch action move even though others don't like it nearby. I like red pants even though my wife hates color of red, thus I buy red pants. " The one who benefits is one person and self....More challenging to live for others such as family members, neighbors, etc which requires energy and consideration; where self and others benefit at same time. "I like hamburgers and also my family, therefore I buy hamburgers." So I'm thinking of scope beneficiaries based on the action is greater in value than where one self benefits and Jesus Himself taught to love and to do for others, not self.
Dude makes money projecting confidence while looking like a Hollywood drug dealer who just rolled outta bed. I like this guy.
Definitely got one of those car beds at his parents house. Straight up Nick Swardson in Grandma's boy kinda vibes. 😂
Tbf thats how id look if i had a cool jacket n lack of bad eyes. I need me some sharingans, ngl
I think it's part of it maybe, why he wants to show its possible to have confidence even looking this way.
😂😂 I'm dying because that's the perfect description of him
He looks like pregnant woman. And I don't know anything about this guy because I didn't even spend 20s on his videos. He who needs, watch.
We are all very small in this world, we need to realize that and be okay with that.
Yes, and embrace the FREEDOM that comes with that! 🙌
@@JulienHimselfis the mindset twofold, 1. one nobody cares about you your not a celebrity and have no fans you, they are self absorbed npc characters, leading to not caring what people think, and 2. i am the hero in my movie, aka i am the most important person, in my world, are both these mindsets combined the key to awesomeness, i think these are similar to david x two rules, who ares what they think, and i am the most important person in the relationship, ... curious if these two mindsets are the key to generaly awesomeness, as exhibited by yourself, leading to automatic shift in unconscious expression of body language, voice, what is said, etc everything, maybe the mindset of a natural and the masses of people have absorbed some other mindset that stifles them, and that this is the freeing unstiflying mindset of a natural, aka someone socially awesome,
@@JulienHimself
Have you really embraced it, narc?
@@kevinmcmillin870you are mistaken buddy, he isn’t a narcissist, he is genuinely helping others.
He approaches a confidence mentality very well imo, indeed logical. Most people are actually covert narcissists, only care about themselves, but will lie to get what they want, while hiding who they truly are. So those of us who have self awareness, and passion for good, indeed should see ourselves as hero’s, and treat the world like it was meant for us, not bad people.
Yeah, I heard Mike Tyson say that & that’s what made him a calmer person; is realizing that he is not that special.
Realizing that nobody cares is tremendously liberating. It gives me the opportunity to focus on my own beautiful weird dreams and not give one flying fuck about even the idea that anyone can stop me.
Its crazy to see how far Julien has gone from his RSD roots to what he is now. Respect dude. have been following you for years
As someone who had a brain aneurysm at age 23 totally unexpectedly, heed that warning! We really never know how long we have. I laughed when he said “brain aneurysm” right at the end bc it was so on the nose. 🤣 Grateful to be here, and I still need that reminder sometimes not to wait! Thanks Julien. 💜
Yeah you and every other vaggzinated person.
i love the way that Julien express himself, changes youre minset completly and wakes u up
Am I the only one who finds his outfits hilarious? 😂 I have never seen someone wear clothes like these in a seminar
I weirdly loved it 😂😂
It directly reflects what he is talking about
@@chrishammon14 true
@@chrishammon14You beat me to it. I was going to say the same thing.
Yeah, after watching, I think the clothes are part of the shtick
So many smart words, thank you! Its hard to live simply without the need to impress, compare etc. As you said, at first it feels sad but then so freeing to realize that noone cares, (and if ever they do its projections and speculations) nothing to stop us from being us ☀️
Yes! Glad this resonates! 🙌
I think alot of peoples social anxieties stems from the belief that a stranger is gonna reveal your ultimate truth from that first encounter and that will define you from then on.
Making sure that you know,you are inspiring and changing lives of people all over the world
Respect from Assam,India
Glad to hear it! Thank you! 🙏
It reminds me of one of my poems. I wrote it soon after the war started:
***
In this world
We play different roles.
We have different faces,
Different stories.
Someone lives on the shore,
Someone lives on the water.
Right now
Someone is grieving,
Someone is full of joy,
Someone lost their mind,
Someone is dying,
Someone is being born.
Something happens,
And starts.
Something ends,
Something changes.
Everything runs out,
And sparks.
In this world we're just actors,
That have fooled ourselves.
We are dust under the feet of strangers,
We are the wind on the skin.
When we die,
Some will cry,
Some will heave a sigh of relief,
Some will think "Serve them right! ",
Some will be scared.
But the majority don't care.
When we die,
The world will keep spinning.
But while we're here,
And our hearts are beating -
Be yourself to the max.
In peace, in war,
Surrounded by enemies,
Or in safety,
When the road is clear,
When nothing is seen,
Around differences,
When celebrating,
In bad times,
In good times,
Stay your true self,
To the max.
I’m really grateful RUclips recommended this to me. I’ve been talking to my gf about how I’m just struggling being authentic and free at work or other places. I’ve been wanting this exact help for awhile. I needed this. I’m grateful for you doing this and I miss the part of me that I lost awhile ago when I was confident and free. Thanks for giving me hope again and helping me relearn what really matters. This is just great.
Ah. This was basically a version of the first video I've seen from you, the stop caring what others think of you. Hit like a thunderstruck back then and started living by it.
Now my subconsciousness wants to get back to the sad track (jupp, because misery is addicting and I sooo deserve it, while I don't deserve it).
Found the problem. I started to run from my thoughts again and put social media on instead. Make others think for me, doomscrolling is a bitch.
Useless. I put this stupid phone to the side. Mind wants to go back there and I actively realize it wants to flee again. Nah, I replace you, social media. With my own thoughts. Because my own thoughts are the best entertainment I can have, and it builds a strong personality in doing so. Don't be afraid of being alone with yourself and your thoughts, you will be amazed how smart you really are.
Wouldn't be able to do this on my own without your world changing videos Julien. Big respect for you and your work.
Glad this content resonates with you so deeply! 🙌
So grateful for your kindness and free content.I am loving my journey and your clear advice and sense of humour just reinforces the greatness of being on earth in this floppy skin suit.❤
I actually found this video hilarious, tbh! 😂 I laughed a lot. I had to show this to my sister, who has feelings of self-consciousness around people and feels judged. She laughed a lot too. 🤣
When you say, "If you think you are a celebrity, realize you have no fans. You're not even a has-been; you're a never-were, a nobody," this is super funny, I think, because it's the elusive obvious. And yes, the realization of it is super empowering! 🤪
I can also appreciate this video so much more. The fact that you have yourself internalized these messages is super apparent. You're basically a living embodiment of these realizations. 🙌👏
This gave me an ephinany, of course, I would look up things like: How to stop drinking or how to be liked more. How not to be anxious around others. How to have a more attractive personality. The whole time the answer was in the How to stop people pleasing section the How to stop caring about what people think and live for myself section...finding these videos has helped ne so much!
This made me stick with my choice of leaving social media forever ! Live for you !!
You've gotta have confidence to pull that outfit off.
I usually hate that kind of shit but it was oddly fire . Not sure how to feel about it
@@thirdeyesharp3213fr tho, he is rocking that
When he looks like a douche I just don’t wanna listen as much. 🤷♂️
I feel like God is speaking through you ❤
I love how you dressed up, like the hangover of fear and loathing in Las Vegas. But what you psychologically bring to the table, is that of a Zen-Buddhist. Well done.
Key insights
😌 It can be freeing to realize that people don't notice or remember you, so focus on impressing yourself rather than others.
🙌 The key is not seeking revenge, but rather proving others wrong by achieving success and personal growth.
💭 Most people don't think about you as much as you think they do, so don't let their opinions hold you back.
😎 Be yourself and prioritize your own wellbeing because ultimately, no one cares about you and you're the only one living your life.
🤔 None of us truly know anyone else, as we only see parts of them that they choose to show us, filtered through our own perceptions and biases.
💡 "The only opinion that matters is your own. Ultimately, the opinion that really matters is you on your deathbed, how do you feel about the person you were?"
😌 Live for yourself and don't worry about impressing others or proving your enemies wrong, because in the end, it's your own opinion that matters.
🗣 On your deathbed, you won't care about what others thought of you or if you proved your enemies wrong, all that matters is how you felt and if you stayed true to yourself.
He rather said "The only opinion about you that matters is your own."
I thought this was some parody skit based off the thumbnail and how he is dressed, but this guy gave some good points.
Your lectures have been very helpful in understanding why many personal walls were torn down recently! A true eureka moment
Used to dream for years of playing piano in public, now I do it for fun (even singing along) eventhough I only started learning since beginning this year.
Thanks for your amazing insights into understanding what a healthy way of living is!
Amazing to hear! Congrats on your progress! 🙌
Reminds of a quote by Steve mcqueen. "I live for myself and i answer to no one"
The little kid comment is meaningful to me. In combination with doing some inner child and shadow work myself I started looking at people as if I were looking at child versions of them. This does 2 things that I can think of now, makes their words less impactful and makes it easier to see who they are at their core giving me the ability to connect with people in a more organic way. A way that is not cluttered by their ego and image.
So true, people do not think about you- until you try to better yourself. All of a sudden, you’re very noticeable…
That’s because your energy becomes more valuable and they want to steal it.
The thing with me is that I feel like I need to put on an act to be attractive to women because I’m short, I’m 5’2”, so I feel like I have to compensate for that by not showing any weakness or vulnerability because I already start off looking weak and vulnerable. A big guy can be vulnerable, bring himself down and be a “gentle giant”, which women still like, but a small guy (in my opinion) has to always be strong, because any vulnerability would be a turnoff (if she’s not turned off already)
Not sure if this is true or if it’s just in my head, but this is how I feel about it.
The most important thing to realize (especially for men) is that only vulnerability can create deep bonds between people. The loveliest guys are those that have a way of showing they're capable of being real and vulnerable. That's true strength and what we are really looking for in others.
I've had very profound love or turn on to short guys, it doesn't matter at all! I'm sorry that society pushes on our insecurities like that, trying to tell us all that "right now we are not good enough". It goes for everyone, no matter what our looks are. So the most important is to be in gentle relationship with yourself. When you're able to be a safe space for yourself and then, for another person. There's nothing more turning on than maturity. And all who don't resonate with that, well, have to grow up on their on. Becoming a stone is the worst thing we can do here. Then people become so cut off of their senses and empathy , that they start the war. Please remember that true power is gentle. You've got this.
@@SepiaMaddyyes, so true! It's not about heights, it's about depth 👁️👁️👁️
YOU ARE ATTRACTIVELY FLUENT ❤ GREAT JOB.
Glad my content resonates with you! 🙌
its humbling to be broken by your words and energy .. if it broke you can fix it confidence is somthing you do and can be fake .... confident is somthing you are and dont do
Thanks Julien. I needed this video today. I just had the worst job interview of my life. My mind went completely blank & I don’t think I made much sense due to my inability to articulate myself when overwhelmed with anxiety. The interview was for another better paying position at my job. But, now I would rather not even show my face at work again. It was bad. What’s worse is they were even trying to help me lol. In my mind it will be talked about for ages. After watching this video though, maybe it’s not as bad as I think.
It never is. People aren’t inherently evil. Everyone is trying to understand life and get by. We all want to help each other as best as we can.
keeping you may get the job anyway, it is a possibility that your mind going black was your unconscious mind protecting you from saying the wrong thing in the moment, who knows you may get the job, would be curious what position it was your were going for, if its a position where you do not require to socially engage with people your lack of social mastery may not even be an issue and could be a benefit and work in your favor, who knows, good luck dude
This so resonates. I remember years ago when I used to be a Dr. Phil fan his father said to him “you wouldn’t worry so much about what other people thought of you when you realize how seldom they did.”
#DustInTheWind 🤠
Not when you’re an attractive person. When you’re attractive, you become part of other people’s personal movies. They subconsciously hope something happens between you two.
You proved it right there though. You’re not seeing them as a person they are, you’re seeing them as someone you build up in your head. You see them as a potential character in your reality.
Great video, I also do seek a therapist when I have a problem, and usually my therapist who is like this 70 year old, very direct and not beating around the bushes.. ( one time I was called a fool , which offended me ) she says that most of the things are projections, like people push what they don't like about themselves onto others, but there is a trauma techinque, called Courteau Projection Techinique, and Inner Unity, which makes you realize not on a conscious level but on a deep subconsious level that is something that is within you, and that reaction can be changed. I think that's why there are problems in society because people don't realize what they don't like about others is a mirror into their own souls.
Can you tell me more about your trauma technique ? I can’t find it on Google
@@louislepoulain3652 Inner Unity Home
Sure it's like this super fast trauma techinique, which improves relationship, and goes way back in the dna.
The Gucci shirt, and the plaid pants ensemble looks like something straight out of TJ Maxx, but the speech is actually very good.
I wish everyone could get 1000s of hate comments on a you tube channel and respond with thanks or have a narcissist ex that consistently gaslights and used children as pawns. Believe your internal truth and things in this external world we live in become weightless upon your social foundation. I feel like I could give this same tip for living a life as a superhero in your movie. Everyone else is just a background character. Live life as a sigma male and your own rules and ideaologies. Never heard of you Julien but good talk bud.
i think this talk should have ten time likes and views as it has now.
Really great help to my rumination.
I was at first thrown off by this guys attire and image, however, about 9 minutes in I really was resonating with his message and vision.
We are all so absorbed in our self image and social media, that we have lost a common ground of mental cognizance.
We are all becoming introverted weirdos that don't know how to socialize properly, and its because of what we are watching on our phones and T.V. screens.
Learn to love, learn to share, compassion for all human beings, its the only answer there is to prevent our own destruction.
Idiocracy was too optimistic...
"It's only after we've lost everything that we're free to do anything."
-Brad Pitt in Fight Club
There’s people in History that will never be forgotten though, with his mentality what is the point of achieving anything? Do something great to be remembered for
Dude looks pretty crazy with his professor style hair, beer gut, Gucci sweater and pajamas pants. Love it!
All u can be authentically is who you really are not trying to be so follow your bliss where ever that leads you
dude clearly doesnt give a fk, look at what he's wearing, based
Yessss I saw you are coming to Germany Munich ! Sooo happy ! 😍 See you there - hoffe Du sprichst Hochdeutsch .. 😅😅
One way of thinking that surely changed my perspective is at some point all of us who are here now won't be. So I might as well let my radiance shine while I still have a chance instead of being so concerned of what other may think of me. They're going through their one shot of life just like me.
You have taught me sooo much! Thanks Julien.
My take away is that when you allow yourself to be yourself, then you can fill some of the childhood energy and creativity coming back or better say they will become more clear and as you said I do feel more relaxed!
P.S: I watch your videos till the last second and I also take notes! thanks!
I’m glad I found this guy ! I love listening to him … bravo keep up the great work
Um- I’m supposed to listen to THIS guy?!?!? Lord help us.
Always shoot the messenger, to send the real message.
11:41 - nice projection 😉
@@Winslow_Tech bang
It appears as though you’re either too lost or too found to take this in with any sort of pragmatic or altruistic nods toward your own being, which is okay. Not everyone is at the behest of fulfillment and joy, such as yourself, clearly! We all should surely be so envious of your ascension in life, as it obviously transcends anyone else that is willing to post nonsense on a comment board that will be buried in a few days. Perhaps you can see this profound fork in the road as a sign to follow the path of least resistance that’ll kindly ask you to beat it, dork, be cool or be gone. Much love 😘
By being valuable to society you become an actor in many others movies.
No need to overthink insecurities or trying to figure out childhood drama. That makes your past the focus of your life. Focus on the future, be good, have impact and don't make a profession of overanalyzing yourself.
YO julien, amazing content as ever!
Thank you!
Great way to kick off the day
Booyah! 🔥👊
Haterade is a powerful tool to propel oneself even if it’s only in your own head.
When I hear "stop caring about what people think of you ,they don't care and they haven't been in your shoes" and stuff along the line , I know what it's trying to convey but my mind suddenly goes in the line of thought of "What if things they're saying can actually help me be better, What if I just stop caring about other people and become a loser asshole" This is the mental dilemma I'm currently facing
Live the life you want to live
This lecture reminds me: Other people’s opinions of your is none of your business.
So what if people decide to bully me and my friends that's none of my business, that's where your wrong, when people decide to bully me and my friends, that's when it is our business, no one bullies me and my friends and gets away with it, so your opinion/argument is irreversible
INCREDIBLE SPEECH
Notification Squad!🔥🔥🔥
Boom! 🔥👊
Bro the way this guys dresses…perpetual hangover look. But I like his content!
Martini, shaken , not stired.
Ah, yes! 👌
this is the realest shit. used to follow him and rsd back in the day. it was always controversial to admit it, but i always saw the deeper message behind their message. same with eminem.
"What if you were to die? How long would people actually think about you?" My girlfriend died 3 years ago. I think of her every day without fail, at some point lost in the reverie of wistful reminiscence, or tearful paroxysm. I think you're making a point about our social identities vs authentic selves, but we are not all the heroes of our own movie, nor should we be. And as a socially interdependent species, the need for social approval isn't a psychological pathology, (though it can be), it is a survival imperative and natural instinct. It's natural and healthy for children to want the approval of their parents, for instance. It is necessary for survival. People who society disapproves of are impoverished, homeless, incarcerated, or institutionalized. There is no real "you" that isn't socially conditioned. I feel like you're combating the narcissism of modern culture with cynicism.
Yeah exactly
And I hate when people like him say that " no one is thinking about you because they're too busy thinking about themselves'' that's literally the problem in our society and he's just encouraging it, people really need to break this cycle
So true. @@joshuabuchanan1141
This guy is fucking life changing just such an amazing teacher
Yeah he's my favorite comedian too
2nd here ❤.. You changed my life Julien..
Amazing to hear! Glad my content has been so helpful for you! 🙌
I think about it this way...most people in movies and tv from 50 years ago (usually even less) are COMPLETELY UNKNOWN to people today...and they were famous!
I like juliens style he is wearing that so he can show that no one cares how you look everyone is dressed up while he is in pyjamas
Dude you're words are so fucking helpful man
I go against everything this guy teaches because I have hyper awareness and anxiety so i notice EVERYTHING about everyone around me. From someone taking a selfie to what someone is wearing, eating, even how they walk, etc, and thus my brain makes me think everyone is the same as me. Its extremely frustrating. 😅
Take some shrooms
Julien I hope you know about what happens in Israel right now. What should all the people without their families do with the traumatic events the happened to them??! How can we help them???
When it comes to working with ppl, how come that doesn’t matter what people think? If people are saying my product isn’t good, they think it’s worthless than how shouldn’t I care about that??
Loved the iPhone analogy ! Thanks for this
Great video Julien. But I wanna ask u something, do u reckon u can make a video about how to stop stuttering, it's a pretty big problem for most people out there (including myself) and sometimes it's not even an anxiety thing. It's ok if u don't want to make a video about it, i can't force u to, but I keep searching and you're the only person that has truly helped me, so I trust u.
Great video btw👍
W w what?
Much love my guy great video ❤
Great video with good points but you know there is a reason why we care what others think. You still should try to give everyone you meet a good impression and should present yourself well. It’s a group survival advantage to be likeable. However you shouldn’t let other peoples negative perception of you get to you that deeply because people do only have a surface level understanding of you. Don’t let negative criticism get to your soul and shatter you. And instead of making other people the enemies make yourself your biggest competition, the one you have to become better than.
That's some raw truth
To people saying something about Julian’s clothes, I think that’s the whole point. I know plenty of women, with education and good careers, who give it up on a nightly basis to some dude who looks like he got his outfit from Foreman Mills, and just got off a shift from loading UPS trucks. It’s because they’re bold and have confidence. That will get you places in life.
A bold and confident guy dressed properly would still do much better than a bold and confident guy dressed like a clown.
The problem is that he put on this outfit intentionally. It's not that he just doesn't give a fuck about how he looks, it's clear that he gives a lot and put a lot of effort into it. That's why we judge it.
The point though is not that it gets you attention from anyone (including positive attention), the major point should be that it makes you feel real.
👍 and SUBSCRIBED for the records 14/10/2023 ... thank you and HAVE A NICE DAY !
I have no issue in front of an audience since my public speaking class last year helped me tremendously
Im gobsmacked that we have reached a point where the most obvious needs explanation.......Right
Heads up-
This is a good speech for people suffering with social anxiety, but I really wouldn’t recommend it for people who feel depressed, suicidal, insignificant, rejected, abandoned, isolated, excluded, unloved, etc.
❤
I've actually always been so concerned with what others think of me. This perspective is fucking W. I almost didn't finish the video. Thanks my guy
Boys are confident, men are certain
Well that means I can do whatever the hell I want. This is a good lesson for me, having been an obese kid in the 1990s. Lol. Fat people stuck out like sore thumbs back then, and you thought the whole entire world was watching you. Judging you. But in reality, they smerked at my fat hips and forgot about it the next day. Because I’m a nobody and that’s a beautiful thing. I wouldn’t want To be someone that’s constantly judged, looked at and remembered forever. Every single inevitable mistake could be extremely detrimental and fear would control me. We can live our life to the fullest, knowing that we are free as a bird. Our brains is the audience and we must reap all joy from life
Before watching this, I have been contemplating the same realization for a long time. Though too afraid to say it, out of fear of ridicule. How reassuring to hear someone else say it out loud. Thank you so much. Oddly enough, even though I know this, I am extremely socially awkward and have been my whole life. I'm almost 45 and afraid it may be too late for me. I have had moments though, where I felt and was free. Though short lived because as soon I allow myself to feel free It's not long before I get derailed by others through there threats and attacks against me. I think others can sense me feeling free and it causes them to hate and attack me. Sadly, I have no solution to counter this reoccurring problem as I am not a big or violent man. Am I alone in this understanding? Is there a peaceful solution? If you can, will you please help me?
Hey Nick! I totally relate. I am 25 and have been socially awkward almost my entire life. But I have been benefitting from the letting go exercise Julien have shared in his videos. I started believing that it is not totally hopeless for me to overcome my social anxiety.
Letting go required me to introspect, so I can let go of the past experiences that convinced me that people are attacking me. I realised most of the time, people are not attacking me, I am simply projecting my bullies from the past to the people that I interact with.
After regularly letting go of my past trauma, I noticed that the strong sensations I used to feel in social situations no longer come up as regularly. Along with the sensations, the thoughts that people are out to attack me also go away.
Hope this helps!
It's never too late
Thank you so much. I will look into that letting go exercise and hopefully have some of the same success you have had.@@raphandlife
Thank you for the encouragement.@@ajaysihota2299
Other's opinion matters because, we learn and see ourselves through others. We have blindspots.
i d rather be an idiot of MY OWN CHOICES than be succesful of others opinion. do what youwant. if u doubt yourself so much .....
@@nsfeliz7825 This is not doubt, this is a fact you can know and decide your core values. But, who you totally are will always be an elusive concept. To get as closer to as truth you gotta see your reflection through others.
I like how he rolled with the question from the audience asking if anyone ever had blue hair in the audience, which was an irrelevant question.
i hope someone responds : how long have you been letting go and did you get satisfying results ?
I've been letting go for close to 9 years now and the results have been insane... Watch the last 20 minutes of this video: ruclips.net/video/4CH7gKme9Y0/видео.html
Dude this video should be on everyone's "Start The Day" Playlist lol it's going on mine
Thanks for the video man.
welcome to cosco, I love you.
So true I was in the ICU for 30 days and 2 of my friends forgot. It was only 3 years ago. It was awkward reminding them.
Hello Julien i'm french i supose you speak french, i think because you are from Switzerland. To make short i really like your video it help me a lot especially at the beginning if RUclips not recommands one of your video and if i hadn't clicked, i don't now where i'll be today then thanks you and continue.
I do speak French, yes! Glad to hear my videos have been so impactful for you! You got this! 🙌
Julien reminds me if Bojack horseman had a complete transformation 🐴❤
The importance of authenticity and its link to well-being is supported by research. However, the statement "no one cares about you" might be an oversimplification. While it's essential to prioritize one's well-being, it's also crucial to recognize the importance of social connections and support. So, this idea is partially true.
Am I the only one watching this waiting for when he is exactly aligned with the wall joins behind him.... Enjoyed the talk though!
From the opening shot, I thought this was an episode of "Fashion Emergency".
Thank you! But i cant help but notice that you and Anti Prophet sound so similar if not, the same!
Amazing content man!
Having all this knowledge about how people dont care about you, what can I do on a daily basis to get more socially free?
Like you’d do anything in life. Repetition and practice. Try and view things in a more positive light even if they go badly. Your mind will thank you for it.
@@tadeuszmusic repetition and practice of what?
to become more socially free i would fully internalize this message, knowledge of it is not enough that is my personal opinion, i would watch this video every day for six weeks or longer, or maybe 3 months or longer, i remember watching a video of bob proctor talking about he is reading the same 2 pages of a book for 3 months to shift his paradigm, i think is basically completely necessary and what super successful people do, they dont just know it they drill it into their mind until it changes them internally, then it is expressed fully externally their unconscious makes a new them that expresses what they have internalized, i think all the greats have fully internalized it leading to identity level change not just a surface change which maybe of some help but isnt enough just my humble opinion,
@@aptrevixle269 practice socialising everyday. Until your mind starts to enjoy it. Even if it’s just being in a social setting.
Hmmm if I was bullied I would wan't to work on myself and figure out ways to prevent bullying in the future. There is great sense in working "in reaction" to something that happened to you, it gives great purpose. Nothing wrong with the "never again mindset" imo.
with the never again mindset your running away from the stuff. you have to acknowledge that your hurt. even though IT HURTS.
I find these videos very interesting. What's your view of the role of spirituality in all this, if any? Interested in getting your thoughts on this? Thanks
The more wounded we are internally, the more attached we become externally... This is where spirituality/letting go comes into place! 🙏