How To Lose Your Fear Of Your Relationship Ending

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  • Опубликовано: 21 авг 2020
  • When we fear that our relationship will end, it creates anxiety and causes us to become inauthentic and controlling. This video is meant to help you lose this fear.
    Do you want more help? I offer 1-on-1 sessions online here: www.noahelkrief.com/sessions
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Комментарии • 187

  • @andredarin8966
    @andredarin8966 3 года назад +108

    "The cave you are afraid to enter holds the treasure you seek."

    • @joaomendes147
      @joaomendes147 5 месяцев назад

      Wow, that's a great phrase. Thank you

    • @myluvdicaprio
      @myluvdicaprio 14 дней назад

      Can you always get that treasure tho?

    • @andredarin8966
      @andredarin8966 14 дней назад

      @@myluvdicaprio Maybe not. But there’s little to no chance of discovering it elsewhere. If you want to marry the princess, you have to slay the dragon-or the giant.

  • @caitlynscott943
    @caitlynscott943 Год назад +70

    Living with BPD is absolutely exhausting and feeling so jealous and constantly anxious I’m going to lose him is so hard. I am so sick of ruining relationships because of this fear. I end up pushing them away and I can’t live like this anymore. Thank you for this video.

    • @srikantadhikarla6733
      @srikantadhikarla6733 Год назад

      What’s BPD

    • @kaileenim
      @kaileenim Год назад

      @@srikantadhikarla6733 I think it's borderline

    • @leroysanchino
      @leroysanchino Год назад

      I have BPD and I believe my ex had it too, or at least some aspects of it. I felt similar in being sick of ruining relationships, but in my case it was me who wanted nothing more than to hang on the the relationship while the pushed me away. I came into the relationship after years of messing up and losing faith and I really believed she was the one, even after less than a year. I know now that it never could have worked out (not that that makes me feel any better) and I just wanted to say I’m sorry for you and life is tough shit but in the end it is what it is and stay strong

    • @aisyahfadillah16
      @aisyahfadillah16 Год назад

      I am in your shoes. I am so sick with this too 😢😢😢

  • @veronicamackey9547
    @veronicamackey9547 Год назад +4

    This is deep and perfectly timed
    “When the student is ready, the teacher will appear.”

  • @suzanne5651
    @suzanne5651 2 года назад +4

    It's like the song: you don't know what you've got till its gone. So visualising this and feeling the pain, and then remembering that they are still there, makes us realise the depth of our love.

  • @SelfArtCorner0777
    @SelfArtCorner0777 2 года назад +26

    This is exactly my problem, I hope I will overcome this fear soon🙂

  • @JamesV1
    @JamesV1 3 года назад +47

    Thanks Noah, on the verge of a break up right now and I need this.

  • @sridharvaishnava9003
    @sridharvaishnava9003 2 года назад +38

    "If we are afraid of losing our partner that means we are using them."
    Man, I am so grateful to have found this channel. l am single and have anxiety of getting cheated on or just one day be left because I am not worth loving anymore.
    It is heart-wrenching for me to even imagine and I am trying to understand myself, why am I like this and slowly dealing with this.

    • @ChrisEzio
      @ChrisEzio 2 года назад

      What happened now after 4 months?

    • @sridharvaishnava9003
      @sridharvaishnava9003 2 года назад

      @@ChrisEzio still the same but a little bit better.

    • @ChrisEzio
      @ChrisEzio 2 года назад

      @@sridharvaishnava9003 did you found where it comes from?

    • @sridharvaishnava9003
      @sridharvaishnava9003 2 года назад

      @@ChrisEzio I have some ideas, currently in the processs

    • @dd-tn8ur
      @dd-tn8ur 2 года назад +1

      @@sridharvaishnava9003 hey,how are u now??
      Were u able to deal with ur anxieties??
      Even I'm having anxieties that my partner might end up marrying some girl,without me having info ABT it.
      I know it's silly,he is very nice and loving,but still I see a lot of relationships ending up same way,so that's how my mind is working now,
      How u managed urself??

  • @kittyticklehips
    @kittyticklehips 3 года назад +6

    it is insane how good the timing of this is. thank you!

  • @JoeyFucktwice
    @JoeyFucktwice 3 года назад +25

    God i love that i found your channel all those years ago Noah. From time to time i really need you. You're so wise and good at reaching through the screen. This was an awesome lesson for me which made me feel even more love for my girlfriend. Thank you so much, keep doing what you're doing

  • @janesmith5609
    @janesmith5609 3 года назад +12

    Noah, this hit home for me. I needed this!! Thank you 🙏🏼

  • @lilianapadbury6475
    @lilianapadbury6475 2 года назад +2

    All I can say is thank you Noah. I’m struggling and needed this

  • @danielchappell1672
    @danielchappell1672 3 года назад +19

    I found your videos when I began my junior college studying psychology five years ago. This past week I began my graduate degree in Counseling Psychology. A lot of the help I've given people already, and that I will in the future, comes from the clarity you brought me Noah. Thank you!

    • @NoahElkrief
      @NoahElkrief  3 года назад +3

      Wonderful! You're welcome!

  • @rhodacampbell
    @rhodacampbell 2 года назад +4

    This is very insightful, I’m going to have to watch it a few times to really let it sink in and learn what you’re talking about. Thanks for being a teacher today.

  • @myillumination5054
    @myillumination5054 3 года назад +9

    Video is put together really well. Love the idea of facing the fear in baby steps and looking at the worst case scenarios. Thank you for your authenticity🙏🏽🦋🧘🏽‍♀️

  • @meaghanparent8740
    @meaghanparent8740 3 года назад +12

    Great video Noah! Thank you! One thing that kept coming up for me though was my fear of my partner dying. That is the one fear i have with all the people i love that i can't seem to let go of.

  • @PaulFisherMedia
    @PaulFisherMedia 3 года назад +5

    My dude Noah! Wow the timing of this is crazy . Yes, the fear of moving on is real! Fear of losing the fear

  • @UrBigSisKey
    @UrBigSisKey Год назад

    This was great!! I appreciate the logical head to head talk that also feels very friendly and caring. I struggle with some anxiety that someday my boyfriend suddenly doesn't love me anymore and just leaves.

  • @ayepyaesone315
    @ayepyaesone315 Год назад +4

    Thanks
    I noticed that I'm wasting my time by thinking to lose my partner without doing any things that my partner wants me to do. Now, I need to concentrate myself and I have to let go of fear. I always search and watch your videos when I'm stressed with confused negative thoughts.

  • @Kuling98
    @Kuling98 3 года назад +40

    Extremely helpful, I feel like this can be applied to every kind of fear there is not just relationships.

    • @TheBanjoShowOfficial
      @TheBanjoShowOfficial Месяц назад

      It is applicable to every kind of fear. In many ways it’s called exposure therapy

  • @Moonmoonli
    @Moonmoonli 3 года назад +2

    I argued a lot with my bf and I started to look for help. I am glad to come across your videos. Thank you for your inspiring messages.

  • @LoveeeeelyM
    @LoveeeeelyM 3 года назад +1

    I enjoy your videos so much. I’ve shared them with so many people. Thank you for sharing your lessons. And thank your for showing us your humanity 🙏🏻💕

  • @respect7677
    @respect7677 3 года назад +2

    Thank you Nouh for always bringing awareness and insight. Cheers❤️

  • @Gmonkey_GB
    @Gmonkey_GB Год назад

    Jesus it’s videos liek these that prove to the little voice in my head that I definitely am just thinking WAY TO FAR INTO IT! My biggest fear is that im not with the right one, im scared I could feel better with someone else. And you said, I like her uniquely not because there’s more love than everywhere else but because that’s where my energy naturally goes. That’s, such a great way of looking at it thank you

  • @aimeeevans1817
    @aimeeevans1817 2 года назад +7

    Thanks man, I’m currently still dealing with this from time to time I’ve gotten better with this fear. I’m continuing self love and care to help cope better with this fear because I realized this is insecurity from the past that part of me is still trying to heal from.

    • @NoahElkrief
      @NoahElkrief  2 года назад +2

      I hear you Aimee, it's a journey

  • @desperatopia6489
    @desperatopia6489 2 года назад +3

    Idk why but I have this feeling and it really scares me. I know she loves me so much and I do too. I just wanna lose the anxiety of loosing her.

  • @xLCLIPx
    @xLCLIPx 2 года назад

    Thanks for this I’ve been slowly losing the fear but still love him so much.

  • @matthewchristman6852
    @matthewchristman6852 2 года назад +2

    Thanks Noah, I appreciate what you talk about and we need more people like you.

  • @Gmadeit
    @Gmadeit 2 года назад +1

    So true. So so true, when you fear they might get into something you don't like or cheating on you, you want to do things that you feel you might keep it running instead of being yourself.

  • @honeymoney23
    @honeymoney23 Год назад

    WHEW!!! THANK YOU!!! this message was FOR ME!

  • @blackkitty1111
    @blackkitty1111 11 месяцев назад

    amazing video. absolutely truth, I just discovered with your video that I am afraid of feeling defective, of feeling like it would be the confirmation that I am not good enough, that there is a problem with me. and I keep carrying this feeling not only in romantic but also platonic relationships, thanks so much for this video.
    I will focus on my actual fear, that is not feeling good enough

  • @gra6799
    @gra6799 9 месяцев назад

    Very liberting ..and ultimately returns us to Love within and with others..I received so much from this Deep Gratitude 🥰🙏

  • @iamfrankcaceres
    @iamfrankcaceres 2 года назад +1

    This is so helpful I feel a sense of freedom.

  • @TheBlackHole123
    @TheBlackHole123 Год назад

    Needed this video man, I can relate so much to what you were saying..currently in a new relationship now, feeling all these feelings, found this just in time.

  • @Gmadeit
    @Gmadeit 2 года назад

    This is so spot on. 200% helpful!

  • @gottalaneworld8422
    @gottalaneworld8422 7 месяцев назад

    I really needed this… I have an extreme pain that I feel will be activated if my partner goes away on a solo trip…but the calm of this video really helped!! Especially when you say if we are afraid then we are using our partners not living them ❤

  • @enriquesuarez7113
    @enriquesuarez7113 3 года назад +5

    Thanks Noah, its too late for me, she broke up with me. I blamed myself for the longest time but this helps me understand myself better.

  • @robinvogt1472
    @robinvogt1472 3 года назад +1

    thank you for this right on time for what im going threw i needed to hear this

  • @abrilcorominajavier9150
    @abrilcorominajavier9150 7 месяцев назад

    Thanks this really helps. It's very painful to let go of all of this believes that society has put on us, but I'm realizing it's even more painful to live with them. I really love my partner and it breaks my heart to imagine a future without him, but I'm now realizing that it's not sad because I would be alone, it's sad because I would have to say goodbye to a beautiful reality and a beautiful dream of ours. But, I choose to live in the present and if when I'm older I still have this dream, I know I'll be able to fight for it.

  • @haras755
    @haras755 3 года назад

    You are the best! I have no words!!

  • @nickynn5532
    @nickynn5532 3 года назад +1

    Thanks Noah Elkrief!

  • @kuhulikasharma2089
    @kuhulikasharma2089 3 года назад +2

    So beautifully explained ❤️

  • @victoriaalmeidaferreira9373
    @victoriaalmeidaferreira9373 3 года назад +1

    Thank you Noah. Me and my partner enjoyed the video

  • @janelbelarmino2784
    @janelbelarmino2784 3 года назад +1

    Thank you. I badly need this now.

  • @annavillalpando4872
    @annavillalpando4872 3 года назад

    Your videos are everything!! Thank you! ♥️

  • @nicolaspaiva4790
    @nicolaspaiva4790 2 года назад

    Thank you very much! I am gonna think to myself tonight. You helped me a lot!

  • @suryazayn4349
    @suryazayn4349 3 года назад

    Thanks a lot Noah for this !

  • @MrManuj2000
    @MrManuj2000 3 года назад +1

    Awesome advice!!!!

  • @James_Kirimi
    @James_Kirimi 10 месяцев назад

    Thank you for being so real

  • @gifty2595
    @gifty2595 Год назад

    Really needed to hear this.

  • @Daneiladams555
    @Daneiladams555 3 года назад +6

    I have fear of intimacy more then anything
    Because of past pain
    I hope to bust thru this

  • @genalynhallgren-bl3ge
    @genalynhallgren-bl3ge 6 месяцев назад +1

    Its true..i am afraid of the Pain that i will feel of leaving him..I Fear of the PAIN

  • @tomasachaval77
    @tomasachaval77 2 года назад +1

    Thank you very much for this.

  • @JoeD60
    @JoeD60 3 года назад

    This is a beginning of a new path for me.

  • @nimaichandramondal6307
    @nimaichandramondal6307 3 месяца назад

    Thank you so much bro it was the most helpful thing that i needed

  • @gebeccaromes
    @gebeccaromes 3 года назад

    This is the best video I've ever seen. Thank you.

  • @melaniec3295
    @melaniec3295 3 года назад +1

    thank you so much it truly helped me a lot ❤️❤️

  • @ognjenmilic9575
    @ognjenmilic9575 2 года назад

    THANK YOU SO MUCH. You are the best.

  • @silasthomas3637
    @silasthomas3637 2 года назад

    You are the best Noah thank you so much

  • @rickyd7631
    @rickyd7631 3 года назад +9

    Thank you Noah. I wish I could get over my ex. She still comes into my workplace. I feel sad when I see her. I just want to be able to look at her like any other customer without any feelings towards them. But old feelings come back. Thanks for the video.

  • @SimplyGB
    @SimplyGB 2 года назад

    Thank you Noah 💜

  • @kaizerkun6364
    @kaizerkun6364 3 года назад

    Same here...i need this thanks noah.

  • @sarveshjoshi2611
    @sarveshjoshi2611 11 месяцев назад

    God..this is therapy i needed

  • @RavenMadd9
    @RavenMadd9 11 месяцев назад

    Noah thank you...
    Dealing with this

  • @614PESCAYMAS
    @614PESCAYMAS 2 года назад

    Wow man thank you so much for taking your time to make this videos it has helped me a lot

  • @RamiSobhani
    @RamiSobhani 3 дня назад

    Wow thanks for the advice

  • @whywhy3049
    @whywhy3049 3 года назад +5

    I don’t have this fear

  • @taylorbee4010
    @taylorbee4010 2 года назад +1

    My question too is that if you don't need somebody and they don't feel a need in your life and there's literally no point for them being there. If we are pack animals how can we be complete on our own? We can meet our own needs yes but ultimately we will get lonely.

  • @mark.e.p
    @mark.e.p 2 года назад +6

    This is brilliant. After my wife having an intense affair, l've forgiven her, but l've done it wrong, been too compliant, afraid to lose her, being on my own etc. Now l'm taking MY life in my hands, being me, seeing friends and giving her space. Also taking your advice now. I already feel better. Thank you.

  • @Jasmine-srfn
    @Jasmine-srfn 2 года назад

    Thank you so much Noah! You explained so in-detailed, I loved it. I learned so much from your words. Again, thank you! ❤️❤️

    • @NoahElkrief
      @NoahElkrief  2 года назад

      You're so welcome!

    • @chinasaofozoba8687
      @chinasaofozoba8687 2 года назад

      Hello i know of a man who can help you restore back your relationship within two days 😍😍

    • @chinasaofozoba8687
      @chinasaofozoba8687 2 года назад

      He was the one who helped me returned back my ex partner three days ago without delay ♥️♥️

    • @chinasaofozoba8687
      @chinasaofozoba8687 2 года назад

      what'sApp him 😍😍

  • @Nomode2
    @Nomode2 Год назад

    this is a great video thank you

  • @StreetfighterTips
    @StreetfighterTips 3 месяца назад

    This is me right now, I'm so scared of what we are going through and she is my everything

  • @bushra.tabassum_
    @bushra.tabassum_ Год назад

    Thank you noah

  • @banjitkalita9542
    @banjitkalita9542 Год назад

    Thank you so much i feel good right now because i feel anxiety and now i feel grat ❤️🤝❤️

  • @cryptowysiwyg4982
    @cryptowysiwyg4982 3 года назад +1

    You're an angel sent down from Heaven. Thank you very much, sir.

    • @msprecious5742
      @msprecious5742 3 года назад

      He said a bad word how can he seems to be angel from heaven 🤔

    • @cryptowysiwyg4982
      @cryptowysiwyg4982 3 года назад +1

      @@msprecious5742 a bad word? so what.

  • @V27RV
    @V27RV Год назад

    Thanks man..this helped a bit

  • @longingheart77
    @longingheart77 3 года назад +3

    I already lost her, the pain is unbelievable..

  • @pretty3860
    @pretty3860 Год назад

    I'm going true this same situation thanks for the incoragement

  • @amaliariganova5181
    @amaliariganova5181 3 года назад +1

    Yes thank u it helped 🙏💚🍀, yes im afraid of the pain psychical or physical. I will try this exercise again later, coz right now i tried but nothin arised inside me

  • @GreyhoundChannel
    @GreyhoundChannel 3 года назад +3

    Hmmmm, I get what you are saying. Ugh, this is a tough topic. I more fear my Partner dying. I finally found a Man that’s a great fit for me. I am rarely triggered by anything in the relationship. But- a huge fear arises when I think that we could be torn apart by death. My thought stream is this..... ‘where would I go, where would I live, how could I survive, there’s no other Man like him, I would have to be ok being alone’. These thoughts make my heart race! No fun! (Sorry, my grammar/punctuation isn’t very good). 😆

  • @kresivarivkah612
    @kresivarivkah612 3 года назад +1

    My partner and I are separated geographically via border closings. I miss him. I am going through a lot right now. I have moments. I do not have an everyday fear. I wish that he were with me atm. Maybe this is not so much a fear. This is just a difficult phase. We all need physical support at times. I just miss my husband.
    Still, some have experienced trauma. And this fear needs to be resolved via therapy. This fear is not solely a fear of losing. Some have not been loved property. And it is through being loved that they become to feel comfortable with love. And this awakens that pain within us. The only way to overcome that fear is to face that fear ..in love.

  • @houriaelboujadaini1727
    @houriaelboujadaini1727 3 года назад

    Thank you i need this

  • @michaeldowd5545
    @michaeldowd5545 Год назад

    Going towards the pain The obstacle is the way.

  • @lvargas4406
    @lvargas4406 3 года назад

    Great video. You are right. But how do we stop fearing when it happens? Can fear depress you? Where does fear come from?

  • @imsweenieac7569
    @imsweenieac7569 Год назад

    thank you so much.

  • @wanderer.antonio
    @wanderer.antonio 8 месяцев назад

    Thank you!❤️

  • @aryaray761
    @aryaray761 2 года назад

    Thank you ☺️

  • @ruthtsegai6655
    @ruthtsegai6655 3 года назад

    Amazing!

  • @dailynewsupdatesnoretake1262
    @dailynewsupdatesnoretake1262 10 месяцев назад

    Thank you 😊

  • @Rinana2004-hz1pp
    @Rinana2004-hz1pp 10 месяцев назад

    Thank u so much

  • @MoonieToonie
    @MoonieToonie 3 месяца назад

    both of my partners before have left me. The first relationship i’ve had for almost 4 ish years but she broke up with me and stopped trying. Second relationship lasted about 2 months he lied about loving me and most likely talked crapped abt me behind my back. i asked him if he actually loved me and he was like “I actually never wanted a relationship with you.” LIKE WHAT…! now i have a wonderful partner.. they’re so wonderful they treat me right they love me they support me. Im not using my partner because im scared of being alone. Im used to being alone.. i love her so much and i want a future with her. im a huge overthinker and i worry about the future it’s terrible.

  • @Jade-rr8wh
    @Jade-rr8wh 2 года назад

    THANK YOUUUU

  • @dianatari8359
    @dianatari8359 Месяц назад

    thank you

  • @ChaniLillian
    @ChaniLillian Год назад +4

    But how do you ‘let it go’? I get the bit about imagining the bad things happening and how you would feel, but I’m not sure how to then ‘let them go’ I just end up making myself more convinced they will leave

  • @taylorbee4010
    @taylorbee4010 2 года назад

    That moment when you say you've been looking for answers but when a dude shows up with the answers you get scared.

  • @thaiwithme8960
    @thaiwithme8960 3 года назад +1

    Noah, thank you for the video , it helps me to feel better of myself, i was afraid to lose someone i have deep feeling for him n afraid to lose him ..but in many times he treat me like im nobody, he tried to pull away n accused that it's because of me..i always thought im not good enough.. it's not true ..we can't make anyone happy ..i let him go..

    • @patriciaclay2111
      @patriciaclay2111 3 года назад

      there someone who can help you get your ex back begging you for a second chance, his name is Dr Steve, he also helped me before and my ex came back to me

    • @patriciaclay2111
      @patriciaclay2111 3 года назад

      Wht ssap Him

    • @patriciaclay2111
      @patriciaclay2111 3 года назад

      +2347030894892.

  • @arbividz
    @arbividz 3 года назад

    THANK YOU

  • @eventsdeveloper1739
    @eventsdeveloper1739 3 года назад +2

    If someone does abandon you. It gives you the opportunity to work on your pain. Does that mean you should see them again? Not judge and be joyful?

  • @Evan829
    @Evan829 2 года назад

    I'm still young and not in a relationship but I always worry that my best friend would leave me or something like that and we are really close and its almost like we are in a relation ship and this really helped me a lot

  • @abhishekkshiirsagar8151
    @abhishekkshiirsagar8151 2 года назад

    thankyou. my fear stresss anxiety anger all led to a break up bi=ut we immediately patched up nd now again it was deteriorating needed this thankyou

  • @piggytsai2226
    @piggytsai2226 3 года назад +4

    I understand the concept of meeting the pain. I can just imagine him leaving me and start crying in one minute and I’ve done that and dreamt of it several times and it hurt like hell.
    (Now that I typed it out it sounds like I’m a crazy person)
    But what I don’t understand is how to let go of it?