@@EduardoOliveira-zx9ju Males don't need you to tell them to cheat , that's what the majority of males do community 🍆 is well known, yes ladies should LEAVE TOXIC, Misogynistic males alone.
Women don't leave in a marriage because they are conditioned from a very young age that marriage is the ultimate measure of self-worth, and only source of a grown woman's happiness. Most women would rather stay in a toxic marriage than be ridiculed for being a single woman especially at an older age. As a Zulu woman I've been conditioned that not only is a man a prize, but I have to suffer immensely to be deemed a good woman. As a result black females rush and get married, quickly transitioning from being a daughter to a wife, without giving themselves a chance to be a woman first.
Funny how this video is about Tiny and TI when Chloe could have easily made it about Justin Timberlake, but of course the rules for black men never apply to white men. I guess that why even though JT would never be caught dead with a dark skinned female, that's not a problem. It was pretty amusing see black females forget all about that "iF yOoS mIxED yOoS aIn'T BlaKKk" crap they talk because they were making JT's work wife out to be the second coming of Harriet Tubman.
I’m so glad there is another South African woman who actually watches Chloe because I felt very alone. The mindset amongst our women is so prevalent that many people don’t see me being single as a personal choice but that maybe I’m lacking something that men want. I remember telling a friend of mine about not wanting to date dusties and she got extremely upset with me, I couldn’t understand why but she’s unfortunately married to one and he cheat constantly and has children outside their marriage, they struggle so much financially too. It’s weird to me because she was a single mom before meeting him and she was doing very well but with him she’s barely making it
@@hnpet4245 Let's be honest. If you're over 25 and single, there's something wrong with you. At 25 you're in your prime, so no matter how much you want to claim you're "skrong and independit" the fact that you're being passed over is a huge red flag. It's funny how all these black females think they're the Kardashians and that they have just as many options at 20 as they will at 40. No, honey. You ain't light skinned and cute like that.
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“Trauma bonds and soul ties.” That’s why I keep these legs CLOSED and I do not allow myself to emotionally attach, too soon. Been through it and don’t want to experience that anymore.
True. Once you are attached, it's hard to get out. It's Soo painful. It's easier to protect yourself and don't get attached. When you sleep with a man, he owns your soul.
👏🏽👏🏽 Narcissists don’t grow up or mature, they get better at hiding their abusive ways & that’s it. Trauma bonding and narcissistic abuse probably plays the biggest part in why they stay.
Furthermore they starting conditioning you early by gaslighting you so much that you start to question reality. It's a psychological break down, but it isn't obvious at first because they surround it with love bombing and empty promises.
TheSomethingnew1 I wish everybody could be aware of all of this because u til last year, I never even knew what narcissistic personality disorder or antisocial personality disorder was and alongside lacking the knowledge of hypergamy, this is tied for the top spot on why we lose!
There are videos all over YT on narcissist behavior and why some people stay in these relationships. I suggest both women and men find and view these videos.
@@sheritownsend7525 true but sometimes people don't discover these videos until they are already deep in the relationship. I was a year in before I started doing research because I knew something was wrong but I couldn't put a name to it.
Likewise with my mother. We lost her in February of this year. Chloe's lessons come after I witnessed everything my mother had to endure in her marriage. I'm sorry for your loss.❤
I’ve started learning about minimalism. I don’t think it’s for everybody but women should definitely practice decluttering as a regular habit. There is a hidden bonus in it in that it teaches you how to emotionally detach on a regular basis. Letting go is something that you can practice. Constantly practice having priorities, plans and emotionally cutting your losses and letting go. Doing so in constant small doses helps when it’s a bigger deal.
That’s such a good idea. I feel so good when I give clothes am not wearing any more to the goodwill. Plus, it frees up my closet. I never thought of the emotional benefits though. Thanks:)
purplekitty 💯💯💯💯👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽 especially having it teach you how to emotionally detach on a regular basis... Funny that I’m naturally this way... It started off as a survival mechanism but I completely embrace it now that I’m an adult and have worked through my issues... ❤️
TheLauraVuitton I love the way you said that because that’s how I’ve been thinking lately and it helps. I’ve been saying that I feel as if my survival instincts have been kicking in and I’ve been learning a lot at a rapid pace. I think if more women learned this it would also help them learn how to leave even the environments they stay stuck in because they are to emotionally comfortable. Sometimes you have to remember that you surviving and thriving is more important than being comfortable and miserable.
purplekitty YES YES YES ❤️! I especially LOVE the last part! I embrace the fact that it was only called survival mode when I was surviving extreme difficulties but in reality it’s an instinct that I’ve been blessed with. Like you said so accurately, that instinct has been on overdrive lately. I instantly know what situations just aren’t it with me. It’s something I clearly was born with which has been fine tuning for all these years with raw experience and keeping it real with myself with the purpose to be a part of my personal growth and thriving. I’m SO happy and fortunate to not be one of those women today!
Candor spot i agree when it come to wealthy men. Money is seriously no object and buying them jewelry or a car or a house is nothing. And most women are just happy to be there so in most cases it probably don’t even take much. For everyday hard working men, money does matter so an investment in women especially is a big deal.
There are many different types of investments he can make. Time, money, resources, opportunities, and social capital. You need to get them all from him.
Eduardo Oliveira not every man want to cheat. Good men like me always want to take care of my Women. The problem with this generation, is that everyone is soul tied to each other. The guys that are about our business and have money and work hard. Those are not the men wins chase after because we lame!! This is why as African man in USA I married outside my race. And no not a white woman! And not American either. The sad things I’ve witnessed here in the USA 🇺🇸, is broken men’s and women. Now to the point men don’t even want to deal with women anymore. This is what happens, when homes are broken, values are devalued. How many men have each of you women laid down with?? How men have banged and slept and conquered women to the point they don’t even know what love or real sexual experiences is about?? And when will you al take time to heal??? Either way, I avoided the traps of my youth, stayed true to my values. And now I have a good life. I hope most women can find healing!!
As a divorcee, I put my ex-husband first and I won when I walked away. I won my self-respect and dignity. But I definitely learned to put myself first in everything I do from here until eternity. That will benefit me in all aspects of my life and make it easier if I ever need to walk away from any man again.
adaku75 this is SOOOOO true! Once you have lived through the pain of walking away from a man who doesn't treat you well, it becomes that much easier to do it again! I am so glad that you learned that lesson. Never fear what that will look like because now you know. You will move differently with men from here on out and they can sense it!
Same💯ignore the trolls, btw men respect women more who were once married. Speaking from experience. The older you are and never been married means to some of them that you don't have value. Marriages fail, that's expected. I'm dating a guy who is a divorcee like me and he loves that I have marriage experience. We have more in common too.
@BlackDrum MY AUNT GOT MARRIED AFTER DIVORCED WITH 2 CHILDREN, HER NEW MAN DIDN'T HAVE ANY CHILDREN... THEY NOW HAVE A BEAUTIFUL DAUGHTER AND THEY ARE HAPPIER THAN MANY OTHERS!! DON'T PROJECT YOUR FEARS UNTO WOMEN, THIS WORLD STILL HAS GENTLEMEN LIKE IT OR NOT
Men are either a gentleman or not. Gentleman don’t try to push a womans boundary, they respect it and don’t take advantage of her feelings. I mean really? Always test your boundaries? Sound like selfish pricks
@@EduardoOliveira-zx9ju Wow. Thats a fucked up thing to say. So she cant level up because of the way she looks??????? Comments like this is why alot of women are in the situation they in. Poor thinking.
Loving yourself is not just about how you look. It's an internal, self-respect thing and a set of standards that you don't let other people break. I've seen a few extremely confident, non-visually aesthetic people own a room with their confidence and self-love--couldnt tell them shit. And I've seen the most beautiful women shrink to nothingness just because they were dogged by men or disrespected in some way all because they didn't have the self-love that most certainly would have minimized or repelled that behavior altogether.
Chloe_ if she cleans up her image absolutely. She's made a fool of herself proposing to him and waiting 10+ years for a wedding that will never reach American soil. She's practically begging him to marry her and has stayed for penis that does not benefit her in any way. I believe that she will but it will be too late. He will marry someone else if he pleases.
Stop making these dusty men the prize. WE ARE THE PRIZE. Stop making emotional deposits in a relationship with these emotionally, immature unavailable men. Please don’t settle ladies!
N.W.A. Why do you stay under hypergamous videos ? Why do you come to black women’s channel to disrespect them and ignorantly spew false narratives? Because of the natural hair movement (that was started by BLACK WOMEN) black women more now than ever, are growing their hair to extreme lengths by learning to care for their hair. Where I’m located, the shortest hair I’ve seen on a BLACK WOMAN is armpit length. This really doesn’t even matter because men don’t care if a woman’s hair is real, short or long. You’re just some dusty, sitting on RUclips trolling. If you had money, you wouldn’t have time to lurk on RUclips all damn day! It’s getting old.
Beyoncé looked gorgeous in that picture next to Jay-Z. Open marriage in black Hollywood = I know my man is going to cheat on me so I’m going to let everyone think I allow it to save face.
I don't know why they dont cheat back lol There's better dick everywhere and better men. If I found out my husband cheated on me i would sooo dog his ass out we are better at cheating so he wouldn't even know unless I tell him 😈
A lot of women confuse love with pain. And I believe they stay because of lack of self worth. People show you who they are early in a relationship, most of time we are not healthy enough to accept the truth or choose to continue in chaos instead of dealing with our own issues.All parties are in need of help
Les Lavy I speak because I had to learn it myself the HARD WAY!!!! Pain in love is glamorized in songs and media. Love is not drama or chaos. Glad we both learned no matter how😁
@V free , but think about music too, Betty Wright, “no pain no gain”. Shirley Murdock, “The Other Woman”, and the “Clean Up Woman”. These songs have women almost begging for a no good man attention. I have learned to censor my surroundings, only positive energies here!!!!!
Cardi is getting what she deserves. She knows all about married men who cheat. She BRAGGED about being a side chick to married men now she wanna beat the side chicks. Whelp! 😂😂😂
She wasn’t dumb. I think Cardi is being strategic as someone who pretty much just got started in the industry I think she made a smart move (let’s face it. She isn’t refined enough to get the CEO type men yet) offset is good enough for where she is at. Despite Cardi being the bigger star. Cardi makes only 8 million compared to Offset he makes 15 million. Cardi said he takes care of her in her latest video with vogue. She was an ex stripper so I expect nothing less 😴 Give her a few more years and some refinement then she can climb onto a bigger fish like Eve did.☕️💸
Isa Rivera ... Yes I agree but what reputation? Anna Nicole was a stripper. She got a billionaire. Eve was a stripper she got a man that is wealthy too. Geri Halliwell (ginger spice from the spice girls) was one. She also got a very rich man. Didn’t a billionaire recently marry a playboy model? That’s not a big deal these days. If you meant reputation in the sense of her being ghetto/ fighting etc then you are right but that’s why I said once she polishes up and becomes refined (like eve did) then she MAY be able to attract higher calibre but for now Offset is good for where she’s at and he earns more than her. But all jokes aside, I honestly don’t think those upper class high powered business men are her type anyway.
@Isa Rivera Libra Women( keyword is Rarely I know some do but most don't) rarely change , Lisa Raye still a ghetto bird n Married a Fake priminster that was scamming people n sleeping ( her husband) with "Gina from Martin husband" she literally meant Duane Martin stole her husband . Lisa Dumbass was even trying to bait Nicole Murphy into a physical fight Last Month out of JEALOUSY because Lisa Definitely sleeping with that man Nicole got caught having a Affair with. Eve is still eve her husband rarely takes her around his pairs( only close friends and family I guess that's all that matters) most are embarrassed he Married her they don't like her at all n her Race has nothing to do with it. She's very Insecure n her husband knows this.
I can tell Tiny altered her looks because she wanted to feel more beautiful for T.I. Ladies, never be with a man question your self worth. Many women rushing to get surgery in these days all to still get cheated on. Stay natural ladies, if yall need help let me know!!
@@sadiem2641 right! Then her daughter did the same and had to get it taken out 🤦🏾♀️🤦🏾♀️ smh!! Look at the message she is sending her young, impressionable daughter - that her natural eye color is not beautiful enough.
Glad I married a good man. He matured young and we married in our early twenties. Together for 13 yrs and still over the moon😍. If something does ever happen and we break up I guess imma just be single because these streets out here are rough. I'm too sensitive for the game and my threshold is like -0 😭😭😭
I'm too sensitive too. I can't imagine dating today - being on rotation for some guy on tinder. Gross. At least you're in a safe relationship. I'm staying single instead of putting myself through more abuse and pain.
@@taghazoutmoon5031 I hear you. Hopefully not entertaining the riff raff will lead you to a mature man soon. Nothing wrong with being single. Better that than trapped in a situationship.
@@brittneylamar9864 I can't date because it's dangerous for my mental health and ability to survive in this world. I get severely depressed after each abusive relationship and break up. Not to mention the real danger of leaving an abusive man. Either the stress will kill you or he will. I was so naive and didn't understand the game.
Let me tell you something! Calling that man Off Dummy is completely disrespectful. That's why I'm subscribed and will continue to watch 😂😂😂😂 #notifcationson 😭😭😭😭😭😭
The ABSOLUTE scariest thing about being with men like this to me is not the humiliation, disrespect and the emotional immaturity, its catching HIV😱!!!!!!! Remember, they are self-centered, immature and do not care about the repercussions of their actions. They want what they want! They are invinsible and God-like in their own eyes.
If you don't leave. You will eventually loose yourself. If you have little ones, they are watching and your unhealthy relationship can set the pace for their future relationships.
It’s also hard for a woman to leave because she makes decisions with her emotions instead of using her head/logic to make sound decisions. That’s why it’s not good to get emotionally attached. The reason why I stayed so long with the dusty ex I was with, was because I was thinking with my emotions instead of my head. I knew that he was full of shit, but I still stayed because I “loved” him smh 🤦🏽♀️
And the #1 way women get emotionally attached is through sex. This why you always see memes and posts all throughout social media of women knowing their man is a dusty or their "nigga ain't shit" but (and there's always a BUT) they always include his "dick game" being on point and how well he rearranges her guts.🙄🙄 Women need to realize that there's more to life than sex. Like financial stability and generational wealth! Creating family legacy of wealth that will far exceed their time is more important than sex from a double dutch dusty that can't even pay a full meal at Olive Garden!!
@@ladyofspa self love is learned, but a lot of us weren't actually taught it. If we had been, there wouldn't be a need for platforms like this. Culture and family have taught many black women that their value is in how much abuse they can withstand. In a sick way, some women stay because to give up on a craptastic dusty means you forfeit the title of a "strong black woman". Loving anyone outside of ourselves is deemed more palatable by the masses that choosing ourselves for once makes us feel selfish and shameful. I agree with you both, but just wanted to communicate that learning self love as a grown woman is a journey. Even being honest with yourself and realizing that you don't love yourself, or don't know how, is painful.
@@justdena15 Yessss!!!!! You are so right!! We was not taught because the generation before us was not taught. I just had this conversation with my cousin last night. Its sad really.
True. When I fell out of love with my ex husband, I realize how foolish I was to be with him for that long. I honestly feel embarrassed because everyone could see he was using me, but i couldn't, until I fell out of love.
Eduardo Oliveira all I know is 80% of women ain't marrying you. A man doesn't cry about what women do its feminine. The way you so emotional in the comments you are on the verge of asking Chloe for tampon. Seek help, God or a therapist 🙄
We consider men thinking with their penis a flaw but I consider women thinking/making decisions based on their emotions (especially when it comes to a relationship) to be on the same level. In both cases, you will likely make less than smart decisions.
@@candorsspot2775 yes. It will not change either because that is just reality. But we can train to make our values clearer and choose the right person for the right reasons from the jump.
@@candorsspot2775 as much as I agree with the statement of God's grace saving his children, I realized that religion has played an extremely large role in manipulating women into becoming pickmeshas settling for subpar men. And you're right....the problem isn't more money...it's the lack thereof. I saw my parent's dysfunctional marriage fail because of the lack of money. My father was not a provider. Luckily my mother left him. But guess what? It was the religious folks at my church persuading my mother to stick the relationship out "for the sake of the children".The lack of money ruins relationships and the manipulation of religion ruins women. I have yet to watch or hear a sermon preach about how men should be providers but I can assure you that I've heard more sermons preaching that women should be self-sacrificing and put up with the uttermost bullshit for a marriage. A women must stay in a marriage to her emotional, physical, and psychological destruction but God forbid she puts herself first and value her overall health rather than marriage. So tell me... Is this what God intended? For a woman to put every need, opinion, doctrine, and wellbeing of others over her own self value? More money never ruined anything, the love of money does.
Financial reasons, feeling like a loss of a bad investment, wasted time and also thinking nothing better is out there. Thinking already put too much time in might as well stay, also thinking I will only go through this again with someone new.
All marriage isn’t perfect but i think if a man or a women doesn’t show you that he cares enough to work thought the problems that’s when you leave. Nobody talks about therapy or counseling. A lot of people have inner problems and therapy can help
@@EduardoOliveira-zx9ju because there's such a thing as being in love. If you're in love as a man, you would want to make it work. You're thinking from a shallow standpoint. Not all rich men want to take advantage of women just because they have more options,, some value committment and finding their soulmate.
i agree but i think if u do go thro the whole process of therapy and shit hits the fan yet again, thats when its official official and prob the answer to the question "should i go?" bc there are no more outlets to exhaust
Jim n chrissy definitely tired counseling and Jimmy mom is definitely the problem. I feel like she a narcissist Mother who obessed with her son love life what's Crazy is Jimmy not a only child this Nigga has siblings. I can tell Jimmy loves chrissy but really needs to work on himself little do people know they broke up for a year or two before they got back together he literally chased her . He also still Fucking Yandy don't ask me how I know I just know. I feel like chrissy felt like if she got married to Jimmy she'd come second to his Mommy/Yandy even tho Jim doesn't want a romantic Relationship with Yandy at all. I don't know if you ever watch love n hip-hop season 1 but that's the reason there was so much cattiness towards chrissy from Yandy. N little do kimbella know Yandy had a thing with juelz Santana too. People so focused on Jim n chrissy when they need to be focused on how juelz low-key beats Kim cheats on her n mentally Abuse her . This is why Kim thought juju was talking about her in her book.
We as women are starting to recognize the signs. We are now able to pick out emotionally unavailable men and cheating men. But there is also danger in falling for overly emotional and “faithful” men. Men can be faithful in body but not in spirit- they can put you at the bottom of their priority list (if on the list at all) and turn around and say “at least I’m not cheating, you should be grateful!” In 2020 we need to strive for emotional MATURITY, not just availability. We need to strive for mutual love, respect, and dedication. Ladies, settle for nothing short of complete adoration, ya hurddd 🗣💎
@Isa Rivera They're part of the MGTOW movement- men going their own way. Basically toxic betas with a vendetta against women, particularly single mothers. They come and troll the comments sections of women's channels. They just need to be ignored.
People (men and women) remain in relationships, and allow themselves to be mistreated because they feel that is what they deserve. The others that remain only do so because they are afraid to be alone. It is really that simple.
Not true. I believed and knew I deserved better than the abuse. But it's hard to leave once you are attached. It's not logical. It's biochemistry - addiction. And I believe there's a spiritual part too. The Bible says two become one for a reason. Hard to cut off someone that became a piece of you. I did it but it's hard
@@munchkineatsalotvent9899 That is exactly it as you stated overthinking human nature! Time, Finances, Experiences/Memories, Fear (loneliness and failure), all play major roles. At the end of the day it's still a choice.
At 42 I have no desire to be a mother figure to a younger man. My ego doesn’t require that type of stroking and Stella hasn’t lost her groove! I’ve seen far too many women in my personal life take up with younger men and it has never worked out in their favour.
Ladies, you are the prize...period and should always treat yourself as such. All the sacrifficing for non deserving men brings resentment and bitterness eventually. Great content Chloe 💗
Velvet Rose Well let’s be real tiny ain’t no price just look at her she is a 3 at best. TI is a millionaire and famous so obviously TI is the price. And the same goes for guys that look better than their women and have their shit together
I think as a man when I hit the wall of understanding was when I got hit by the 08 recession. Before 08 I had a high paying job and I had women for everyday if the week. But I had a one woman that stuck it out with me. I rebounded tremendously because of my wife. I would be a fool to go back to my 08 mentality! I created a life where my wife doesn't have to work if she doesn't. I've been highly rewarded for this
This is why I date older men (45 is the minimum) edit: I guess it wasn’t obvious lol, but I mean older men worth my time. Red flags are red flags. Be smart. And please, use common sense 🤦🏽♀️
I’m young(21) but I can’t wait to find a man of means who checks all of the boxes I put forth. I’ve seen people saying younger women should “explore” at a young age before practicing hypergamy but idc I control my own world and I wanna start young. I don’t want to have to sift through 100s of dustys and be hurt a billion times to finally find the right one when I’m already beat up and ran through or end up in a long unhappy marriage. Which is why I never get into relationships. Never even touched a guy. I date and usually never see the guy after the first date because he didn’t check ALL the boxes. If it’s not perfect I’m not touching it.
Taghazout Moon I do make my own money. I work at an interior design company. I’m also working on owning my own business. I’m not waiting around doing nothing. Lol.
You are doing good, but please one date isn't often enough to see if a guy is right for you. Give them two or three dates, of course if they are clearly not broke
THANK YOU!!! Because this has literally always confused me! My mother has ALWAYS been respected in her relationships still to this day that’s what I grew up seeing, this other shit is beyond me + weird
I said before,and will say again. We teach others how theyre allowed to treat us. If they cheat WITH YOU, honey,trust and believe THEY WILL CHEAT ON YOU .you cannot be the side piece,move up to main joint,and get upset when same behaviors exist. I mean ,that person already shown what they about by cheating with you in the first place.
That’s true with the exception of Jay. I don’t think Beyonce would ever leave because they’ve built a fortune together and some splits don’t make sense. She probably has a side piece too.
@@strawberriesncandii plus you cant compare hay z to offset a t.i they are poor dusty. Jay z is private and he admitted working on himself to save Beyoncé when she left and it shows that he loves her. Offset is just so disrespectful i just don't like him he disrespect his wife so publicly.
Chloe_ OMG!!! Facts on facts! I wish I had this information before I married. The conditioning to stay in a marriage is subliminal for those of us who were not raised to be hypergamous or to view ourselves as the prize. Ladies, leaving is hard. It's easy to say what you WOULD do, but until you have truly invested in a marriage, you dont know what you will do when the $hit starts hitting the fan. Leaving takes courage. Leaving takes strength. Leaving takes money. And leaving takes the realization that you will be punished with smear campaigns and legal fees out the wazoo if that piece of $hit wasn't done with you. After all, these dusties are out here thinking that THEY are the prize. So for them, it's a sentiment of "How dare she leave ME?" KEEP DOING THIS WORK CHLOE_; we need this.
I divorced my ex when I realised that truly I had become like mother, not just mother to his children, but he said it himself that I am the one who he runs to, who is always advising him and guiding him... 🤨Real change happened when I started to ask myself “what’s in it for me?” I realised I bring nothing to the table because I am the table, I am the Prize that he should feel lucky he even got invited to take a seat! I was in that marriage for eight years, and I really took my vowels to heart meaning I was going to be with this man till the end, no matter what! Then I realised I wasn’t Jesus Christ and I don’t have to sacrifice my life for the greater good, only for my children and certainly not for a man who can and will cheat lie to fulfil himself at my expense, and yes he was a dusty, and I was his soldier ride or die dust bunny Bob the Builder bitch. I’m starting to understand that we need to re-educate women’s approach to marriage: it is when a man chases you to win his prize! It does not condition you as belonging to someone, it is a choice you make to commit to someone but only when they meet your requirements and standards. If you have no standards don’t get married because that means you’re going to take on whatever shit he offers you. A lot of women stay in marriages out of the fear of not knowing themselves, (they think they can’t survive without the other person, or have been conditioned to believe that this other person somehow completes them) and some women stay because they care so much about other women taking their husbands, feeling like failures... The truth is in a man’s world a woman is always replaceable, there’s so many of us around for them to pick and choose. What makes you stand out and what keeps him with you is the fact that he spent more money on you or has put in more effort in trying to earn you, so for this reason he will protect his investment.
BlackDrum Thank God we now live in the world were being married no longer defines a woman’s value, I mean there’s only so much a man can really offer a woman after all that she can if she chooses to get for herself, and I think if a black woman chooses to brag about being divorce it’s because she recognises that she’s come out of a situation that no longer serves her, she is liberated, that’s why she brags😌 and, if it’s true that black women are the least married it’s probably because black women are less likely to want to settle for less than they deserve, But unfortunately the market is full of men who don’t measure up and make a lot of excuses, but don’t make enough money, Black women are not hard to love, they’re just very hard to keep quiet about the things that bother them in a relationship, that’s why I really dig this channel because layer by layer she’s forcing us to question what we’ve been conditioned to believe about what we think we deserve.
Women are told to look up to husband and respect they are in charge and the head.respect have to be earned.some men and some women should never get married, should stay single so they can sleep around with who ever and when ever.
Eduardo Oliveira don't you get tired, take a nap sweetheart. You been up and down the comment section in tears, we get it women ain't shit blah blah don't date them if this makes you so unhappy. As a man there's so much you can do with your time like find a job, see a therapist, count sheep 🐑, make friends so you can bitch and moan about women because this ain't it darling.
Pastor Chloe did not play on this video! Ladies, please listen...you are stronger, and smarter than you think...Be asset to yourself, first, and the rest will follow. And continue to show this channel much love!❤
61 years old married at 23 not even knowing the real person, until I started call ing out on some total disrespect right up in my face,then the nasty narc behavior started.grew up believing we all change as we get old,so stayed ,told to forgive,yelled screamed,shouted,cursed, things are still the same,this person is very cruel with words, always right.
HI Chloe- have a look at the Bryant Gumble story..it was sad a real example of sacrificing your happiness for a constant cheater and being dropped at 50 for a blondie while getting a new position.
Watch knowing the narcissist !!! It’s a RUclips channel by professor H.G. Tudor he is a genius ! And a high level narcissist.... So much more to narcissism then what we think.
Abusive men are NEVER the prize ladies! Great episode, one of my fav you tubers 🙆🏼♀️ I’m so happy being single, so liberating to have freedom from a toxic relationship...
I have a very low threshold for bullshit, tolerance, loyalty, patience lol. I drop them real quick! I however need to pick my men better. I prefer older and financially stable, I just need to get them to invest alot more than they usually do.
She pretty much gave the reason for that and many other things women allow. They see their men as the prize and subject to their every whim and desire so they won't lose them.
@@LSJGS yeah but I didn't hear how they sleep WITH the other women. Even' becoming' bisexual for a trash prize. My thoughts. She definitely hit the main point. There are so many layers of self disrespect
It all goes back to mentality and childhood wounds that remain unresolved and now you’re a grown woman and still attracting the same type of love you’re used to
Hi Chloe_, I actually like your videos as a Black man. Anyways, I'm 32, single, no kids, never married, work as a software engineer making well into six figures, calm, knows how to compromise, ready for marriage BUT, I cannot find the type of Black woman I want. I could easily find a White/Asian woman, but I do not want to marry one and want to pass my resources on to a Black family. All I look for is a Black woman that is between 23-30, educated, smart, feminine, slender/slim thick, can compromise, and doesn't mind stay home once kids come along (at least during the younger years). I am provider and would love to provide and cherish my future wife. Where can I find this type of woman I so much adore and want?
I have been dating a narcissistic who has been gaslighting and projecting for two years... I keep forgiving him but it's hard because of the emotion bond. I need help
Jennifer Phan get out. Here is the help. Leave baby because the longer you stay the worse it will be. You have to basically leave in the middle of the night without a word (figurative not literally) if you know what is going on, telling him you’re leaving is not going to work in your favor. You’ll literally have to ghost him, block him on everything, tell your friends to not contact him and start healing. There is a ton of RUclips videos online that will give you knowledge and strength but you have to leave for your mental, physical, emotional and spiritual health
You need to leave ASAP. I’ve never been in a romantic relationship with a narc but come from a long line of narcs on both sides of my family. Everyone in my immediate family is a narcissist. I always had a pit in my stomach when I was around them as a kid but I never knew why. It wasn’t until I turned 18 and started asking questions online did it all make sense. But by the time that happened I was knee deep. I was abused emotionally, physically, mentally, and financially everyday. I lost my childhood, teenage years, and now my 20s. As I now am approaching the last couple years of my 20s I urge you and everyone that can leave to leave as soon as possible before it’s too late. If you don’t have a marriage certificate or children with him consider it a blessing. When you’re in too deep people like that can even lead victims to commit suicide. Take this seriously and take your life into your hands before your eyes permanently shut before your time.
Some women stay due to financial dependence on the hubby, but women with their own finances staying in an unhealthy marriage is mind-boggling. Perhaps there are other factors that cannot be understood by a person outside marriage. Remember couples take vows and women tend to invest a lot in those vows.
They invested so many years into the ralationship and marriage. Also starting all over again is not easy for an older woman specially one with kids. So sticking to what she knows becomes easier. Some women don't really care tho. In their mind he is coming back to me, so I don't care type of mentality..
I was the breadwinner and stayed. He was abusive too. Women get attached due to soul ties and trauma bonds with the man they sleep with. It's hard to get out. I only was able to leave because he gave me an opportunity to escape.
Got he in here shouting like church @ 3:43 This is the truth. I’ve experienced fear that had me stuck. I had to heal that ego & move on. Love your videos girl! Thank you!
Follow The Hypergamous Hive on Instagram:
instagram.com/hypergamoushive/
Ladies, do yourself a favor. LEAVE!!!
Rich men do yourselves a favor. CHEAT. It's the only way both of you will ever win kkkkkkkk
@@EduardoOliveira-zx9ju Males don't need you to tell them to cheat , that's what the majority of males do community 🍆 is well known, yes ladies should LEAVE TOXIC, Misogynistic males alone.
“You are what you allow yourself to be”
-me
💜
A wise statement.
Periodt👏👏😔
👍👍👍👏👏👏
You are what you look like. If you look like a model, you WILL be valued
Women don't leave in a marriage because they are conditioned from a very young age that marriage is the ultimate measure of self-worth, and only source of a grown woman's happiness. Most women would rather stay in a toxic marriage than be ridiculed for being a single woman especially at an older age. As a Zulu woman I've been conditioned that not only is a man a prize, but I have to suffer immensely to be deemed a good woman. As a result black females rush and get married, quickly transitioning from being a daughter to a wife, without giving themselves a chance to be a woman first.
But I thought most divorces were initiated by women?
I have an African friend who told me this mindset is dominant in Africa.
Funny how this video is about Tiny and TI when Chloe could have easily made it about Justin Timberlake, but of course the rules for black men never apply to white men. I guess that why even though JT would never be caught dead with a dark skinned female, that's not a problem. It was pretty amusing see black females forget all about that "iF yOoS mIxED yOoS aIn'T BlaKKk" crap they talk because they were making JT's work wife out to be the second coming of Harriet Tubman.
I’m so glad there is another South African woman who actually watches Chloe because I felt very alone. The mindset amongst our women is so prevalent that many people don’t see me being single as a personal choice but that maybe I’m lacking something that men want. I remember telling a friend of mine about not wanting to date dusties and she got extremely upset with me, I couldn’t understand why but she’s unfortunately married to one and he cheat constantly and has children outside their marriage, they struggle so much financially too. It’s weird to me because she was a single mom before meeting him and she was doing very well but with him she’s barely making it
@@hnpet4245 Let's be honest. If you're over 25 and single, there's something wrong with you. At 25 you're in your prime, so no matter how much you want to claim you're "skrong and independit" the fact that you're being passed over is a huge red flag. It's funny how all these black females think they're the Kardashians and that they have just as many options at 20 as they will at 40. No, honey. You ain't light skinned and cute like that.
You have to want yourself more than wanting other people to want you. That is the essence of treating yourself like the prize.
Exactly. I choose me
I love this!
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“Trauma bonds and soul ties.” That’s why I keep these legs CLOSED and I do not allow myself to emotionally attach, too soon. Been through it and don’t want to experience that anymore.
M T yessss girl! Been there did that, don’t want to go back !!!
Amen chile.
Same here
True. Once you are attached, it's hard to get out. It's Soo painful. It's easier to protect yourself and don't get attached. When you sleep with a man, he owns your soul.
LOL this!!! Totally agree @ M T
👏🏽👏🏽 Narcissists don’t grow up or mature, they get better at hiding their abusive ways & that’s it. Trauma bonding and narcissistic abuse probably plays the biggest part in why they stay.
Furthermore they starting conditioning you early by gaslighting you so much that you start to question reality. It's a psychological break down, but it isn't obvious at first because they surround it with love bombing and empty promises.
TheSomethingnew1 I wish everybody could be aware of all of this because u til last year, I never even knew what narcissistic personality disorder or antisocial personality disorder was and alongside lacking the knowledge of hypergamy, this is tied for the top spot on why we lose!
There are videos all over YT on narcissist behavior and why some people stay in these relationships. I suggest both women and men find and view these videos.
@@sheritownsend7525 true but sometimes people don't discover these videos until they are already deep in the relationship. I was a year in before I started doing research because I knew something was wrong but I couldn't put a name to it.
@@shalanenicole5399 Yes,Yes 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼🔥❤💯
This type of relationship killed my mother I'm not going for it. 🤨🤦🏾♀️
mine too sis. hugs if you want them 💗
@@southernstar6385 😢 thanks you sweets
I’m so sorry. It is a dangerous thing.
I am sorry for your loss. I pray you heal from your pain
Likewise with my mother. We lost her in February of this year. Chloe's lessons come after I witnessed everything my mother had to endure in her marriage. I'm sorry for your loss.❤
I’ve started learning about minimalism. I don’t think it’s for everybody but women should definitely practice decluttering as a regular habit. There is a hidden bonus in it in that it teaches you how to emotionally detach on a regular basis. Letting go is something that you can practice. Constantly practice having priorities, plans and emotionally cutting your losses and letting go. Doing so in constant small doses helps when it’s a bigger deal.
purplekitty
What a great tip....thank you!
That’s such a good idea. I feel so good when I give clothes am not wearing any more to the goodwill. Plus, it frees up my closet. I never thought of the emotional benefits though. Thanks:)
purplekitty 💯💯💯💯👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽 especially having it teach you how to emotionally detach on a regular basis... Funny that I’m naturally this way... It started off as a survival mechanism but I completely embrace it now that I’m an adult and have worked through my issues... ❤️
TheLauraVuitton I love the way you said that because that’s how I’ve been thinking lately and it helps. I’ve been saying that I feel as if my survival instincts have been kicking in and I’ve been learning a lot at a rapid pace. I think if more women learned this it would also help them learn how to leave even the environments they stay stuck in because they are to emotionally comfortable. Sometimes you have to remember that you surviving and thriving is more important than being comfortable and miserable.
purplekitty YES YES YES ❤️! I especially LOVE the last part! I embrace the fact that it was only called survival mode when I was surviving extreme difficulties but in reality it’s an instinct that I’ve been blessed with. Like you said so accurately, that instinct has been on overdrive lately. I instantly know what situations just aren’t it with me. It’s something I clearly was born with which has been fine tuning for all these years with raw experience and keeping it real with myself with the purpose to be a part of my personal growth and thriving. I’m SO happy and fortunate to not be one of those women today!
It is so important to make them invest in you.
Exactly. Men only respect and care about things they have to invest time and money into.
Candor spot i agree when it come to wealthy men. Money is seriously no object and buying them jewelry or a car or a house is nothing. And most women are just happy to be there so in most cases it probably don’t even take much. For everyday hard working men, money does matter so an investment in women especially is a big deal.
You can’t make anyone invest in you, you can only choose to deal with those that do.
There are many different types of investments he can make. Time, money, resources, opportunities, and social capital. You need to get them all from him.
Before a man invest he is going to require you look like a supermodel
Ladies remember to set your intentions when finding a man. Dont accept anything less than what YOU intend.
& yes soul ties are REAL! Choose wisely.
The goal for men is to get money, then cheat. Your girlfriend/wife will NEVER leave. If she does she'll easily be replaced
And YES soul ties can be BROKEN!!!!!! Dont forget that part.
Eduardo Oliveira not every man want to cheat. Good men like me always want to take care of my
Women. The problem with this generation, is that everyone is soul tied to each other. The guys that are about our business and have money and work hard. Those are not the men wins chase after because we lame!!
This is why as African man in USA I married outside my race. And no not a white woman! And not American either.
The sad things I’ve witnessed here in the USA 🇺🇸, is broken men’s and women.
Now to the point men don’t even want to deal with women anymore.
This is what happens, when homes are broken, values are devalued. How many men have each of you women laid down with??
How men have banged and slept and conquered women to the point they don’t even know what love or real sexual experiences is about??
And when will you al take time to heal???
Either way, I avoided the traps of my youth, stayed true to my values. And now I have a good life.
I hope most women can find healing!!
God can break even soul ties. Nothing impossible for Him.
As a divorcee, I put my ex-husband first and I won when I walked away. I won my self-respect and dignity. But I definitely learned to put myself first in everything I do from here until eternity. That will benefit me in all aspects of my life and make it easier if I ever need to walk away from any man again.
adaku75 I’ve been there and I agree with you 1000%!!!👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
adaku75 this is SOOOOO true! Once you have lived through the pain of walking away from a man who doesn't treat you well, it becomes that much easier to do it again! I am so glad that you learned that lesson. Never fear what that will look like because now you know. You will move differently with men from here on out and they can sense it!
You loss!!! At your age, you will NEVER find a man again
Same💯ignore the trolls, btw men respect women more who were once married. Speaking from experience. The older you are and never been married means to some of them that you don't have value. Marriages fail, that's expected. I'm dating a guy who is a divorcee like me and he loves that I have marriage experience. We have more in common too.
@BlackDrum MY AUNT GOT MARRIED AFTER DIVORCED WITH 2 CHILDREN, HER NEW MAN DIDN'T HAVE ANY CHILDREN... THEY NOW HAVE A BEAUTIFUL DAUGHTER AND THEY ARE HAPPIER THAN MANY OTHERS!! DON'T PROJECT YOUR FEARS UNTO WOMEN, THIS WORLD STILL HAS GENTLEMEN LIKE IT OR NOT
You have to set boundaries from the jump.. Men always test and push your boundaries to see what you can take.
Exactly
@@ceeceedior21 even good men will test.
Men are either a gentleman or not. Gentleman don’t try to push a womans boundary, they respect it and don’t take advantage of her feelings. I mean really? Always test your boundaries? Sound like selfish pricks
The day Tiny loves herself more than she loves TI, is the day she will leave. Sadly, I doubt that day is possible.
Facts
That woman lacks the beauty to love herself. She looks awful!
@@EduardoOliveira-zx9ju
Wow. Thats a fucked up thing to say. So she cant level up because of the way she looks??????? Comments like this is why alot of women are in the situation they in. Poor thinking.
@@EduardoOliveira-zx9ju ouch! Wow, so ppl who arent models, burn victims, ppl with deformities etc can't love themselves?
Loving yourself is not just about how you look. It's an internal, self-respect thing and a set of standards that you don't let other people break. I've seen a few extremely confident, non-visually aesthetic people own a room with their confidence and self-love--couldnt tell them shit. And I've seen the most beautiful women shrink to nothingness just because they were dogged by men or disrespected in some way all because they didn't have the self-love that most certainly would have minimized or repelled that behavior altogether.
That lady with Jim Jones can LITERALLY WALK AWAY! There is not legal attachment between them.
She Can Walk Away....But will she?
Chloe_ if she cleans up her image absolutely. She's made a fool of herself proposing to him and waiting 10+ years for a wedding that will never reach American soil. She's practically begging him to marry her and has stayed for penis that does not benefit her in any way. I believe that she will but it will be too late. He will marry someone else if he pleases.
@@bnwo remember you speak for every black woman in your bloodline as well when you make finite statements like this
@@luciadozier1267 First of all, what makes you think I'm black? Second, keep that same energy on the other comments and channels bashing black men.
Stop making these dusty men the prize. WE ARE THE PRIZE. Stop making emotional deposits in a relationship with these emotionally, immature unavailable men. Please don’t settle ladies!
I need to stop.
N.W.A. Why do you stay under hypergamous videos ? Why do you come to black women’s channel to disrespect them and ignorantly spew false narratives? Because of the natural hair movement (that was started by BLACK WOMEN) black women more now than ever, are growing their hair to extreme lengths by learning to care for their hair. Where I’m located, the shortest hair I’ve seen on a BLACK WOMAN is armpit length. This really doesn’t even matter because men don’t care if a woman’s hair is real, short or long. You’re just some dusty, sitting on RUclips trolling. If you had money, you wouldn’t have time to lurk on RUclips all damn day! It’s getting old.
Agreed
Na just keep sleeping with the Tyron’s and Rayjays! Guys like who are beards hardworking marry other races of women!!
Please don't. Your right 100%
Beyoncé looked gorgeous in that picture next to Jay-Z.
Open marriage in black Hollywood = I know my man is going to cheat on me so I’m going to let everyone think I allow it to save face.
There is it!!!
I don't know why they dont cheat back lol
There's better dick everywhere and better men.
If I found out my husband cheated on me i would sooo dog his ass out we are better at cheating so he wouldn't even know unless I tell him 😈
lupi ta90 id rather leave than cheat. I wouldn’t want to end up pregnant either. The search for better dick has its consequences.
There's birth control & abortion.... and I wouldn't get multiple dick... just a side guy and go on dates and use condoms
In reality I would leave too.... this is for the women that stay with a cheater and don't have to balls to leave, at least cheat back 🤷🏻♀️
Rasheeda and Kirk pic should have been included... no judgement.... I think their story is for tv but their story line makes her look crazy
Yeas and pathetic and broken
Facts
A lot of women confuse love with pain. And I believe they stay because of lack of self worth. People show you who they are early in a relationship, most of time we are not healthy enough to accept the truth or choose to continue in chaos instead of dealing with our own issues.All parties are in need of help
Les Lavy I speak because I had to learn it myself the HARD WAY!!!! Pain in love is glamorized in songs and media. Love is not drama or chaos. Glad we both learned no matter how😁
@@ruthwells3990 yes like the Fifty Shades of Grey movie series that's teaching all women love is pain and glamorizing it
@V free , but think about music too, Betty Wright, “no pain no gain”. Shirley Murdock, “The Other Woman”, and the “Clean Up Woman”. These songs have women almost begging for a no good man attention. I have learned to censor my surroundings, only positive energies here!!!!!
serious GEMS in this comment section 💎
I hate to hear TI speak, he sounds like he dropped out of pre-school
I hate all of those country-grammar ignorant sounding southern accents.
Yes! A big dummy!
Ha Ha Ha 🤣😅😂🤣😅😂🤗💯❤
😭💀💀💀
😂😂😂
“ Men get older but they are still very slow”
Yessssss
I am too busy working with living my best life. I don't have time.
Cardi is getting what she deserves. She knows all about married men who cheat. She BRAGGED about being a side chick to married men now she wanna beat the side chicks. Whelp! 😂😂😂
well she is dumb enough to marry a rapper
Karma Baby
She wasn’t dumb. I think Cardi is being strategic as someone who pretty much just got started in the industry I think she made a smart move (let’s face it. She isn’t refined enough to get the CEO type men yet) offset is good enough for where she is at. Despite Cardi being the bigger star. Cardi makes only 8 million compared to Offset he makes 15 million. Cardi said he takes care of her in her latest video with vogue. She was an ex stripper so I expect nothing less 😴 Give her a few more years and some refinement then she can climb onto a bigger fish like Eve did.☕️💸
Isa Rivera ... Yes I agree but what reputation? Anna Nicole was a stripper. She got a billionaire. Eve was a stripper she got a man that is wealthy too. Geri Halliwell (ginger spice from the spice girls) was one. She also got a very rich man. Didn’t a billionaire recently marry a playboy model? That’s not a big deal these days. If you meant reputation in the sense of her being ghetto/ fighting etc then you are right but that’s why I said once she polishes up and becomes refined (like eve did) then she MAY be able to attract higher calibre but for now Offset is good for where she’s at and he earns more than her. But all jokes aside, I honestly don’t think those upper class high powered business men are her type anyway.
@Isa Rivera Libra Women( keyword is Rarely I know some do but most don't) rarely change , Lisa Raye still a ghetto bird n Married a Fake priminster that was scamming people n sleeping ( her husband) with "Gina from Martin husband" she literally meant Duane Martin stole her husband . Lisa Dumbass was even trying to bait Nicole Murphy into a physical fight Last Month out of JEALOUSY because Lisa Definitely sleeping with that man Nicole got caught having a Affair with. Eve is still eve her husband rarely takes her around his pairs( only close friends and family I guess that's all that matters) most are embarrassed he Married her they don't like her at all n her Race has nothing to do with it. She's very Insecure n her husband knows this.
I can tell Tiny altered her looks because she wanted to feel more beautiful for T.I. Ladies, never be with a man question your self worth. Many women rushing to get surgery in these days all to still get cheated on. Stay natural ladies, if yall need help let me know!!
She threw me off with when she got the blue eyes!!
Period‼
@@sadiem2641 right! Then her daughter did the same and had to get it taken out 🤦🏾♀️🤦🏾♀️ smh!! Look at the message she is sending her young, impressionable daughter - that her natural eye color is not beautiful enough.
She knew she lacked the beauty to compete with beautiful women
Glad I married a good man. He matured young and we married in our early twenties. Together for 13 yrs and still over the moon😍. If something does ever happen and we break up I guess imma just be single because these streets out here are rough. I'm too sensitive for the game and my threshold is like -0 😭😭😭
Congratulations you're the 1% :-)
I'm too sensitive too. I can't imagine dating today - being on rotation for some guy on tinder. Gross. At least you're in a safe relationship. I'm staying single instead of putting myself through more abuse and pain.
@@EduardoOliveira-zx9ju Thanks, amd I definitely understand I am the minority. My papa was a rolling stone so I try my best to appreciate my husband.
@@taghazoutmoon5031 I hear you. Hopefully not entertaining the riff raff will lead you to a mature man soon. Nothing wrong with being single. Better that than trapped in a situationship.
@@brittneylamar9864 I can't date because it's dangerous for my mental health and ability to survive in this world. I get severely depressed after each abusive relationship and break up. Not to mention the real danger of leaving an abusive man. Either the stress will kill you or he will. I was so naive and didn't understand the game.
Let me tell you something! Calling that man Off Dummy is completely disrespectful. That's why I'm subscribed and will continue to watch 😂😂😂😂 #notifcationson 😭😭😭😭😭😭
Like Keri Hilson said "My love has a limit."
And R. Kelly "When a woman's fed up it ain't nothing you can do about it."
The ABSOLUTE scariest thing about being with men like this to me is not the humiliation, disrespect and the emotional immaturity, its catching HIV😱!!!!!!! Remember, they are self-centered, immature and do not care about the repercussions of their actions. They want what they want! They are invinsible and God-like in their own eyes.
If you don't leave. You will eventually loose yourself. If you have little ones, they are watching and your unhealthy relationship can set the pace for their future relationships.
If a man doesn't cheat, he will lose his sanity
If a woman doesn't leave she will loose her's
It’s also hard for a woman to leave because she makes decisions with her emotions instead of using her head/logic to make sound decisions. That’s why it’s not good to get emotionally attached. The reason why I stayed so long with the dusty ex I was with, was because I was thinking with my emotions instead of my head. I knew that he was full of shit, but I still stayed because I “loved” him smh 🤦🏽♀️
And the #1 way women get emotionally attached is through sex. This why you always see memes and posts all throughout social media of women knowing their man is a dusty or their "nigga ain't shit" but (and there's always a BUT) they always include his "dick game" being on point and how well he rearranges her guts.🙄🙄 Women need to realize that there's more to life than sex. Like financial stability and generational wealth! Creating family legacy of wealth that will far exceed their time is more important than sex from a double dutch dusty that can't even pay a full meal at Olive Garden!!
@@ladyofspa self love is learned, but a lot of us weren't actually taught it. If we had been, there wouldn't be a need for platforms like this. Culture and family have taught many black women that their value is in how much abuse they can withstand. In a sick way, some women stay because to give up on a craptastic dusty means you forfeit the title of a "strong black woman". Loving anyone outside of ourselves is deemed more palatable by the masses that choosing ourselves for once makes us feel selfish and shameful.
I agree with you both, but just wanted to communicate that learning self love as a grown woman is a journey. Even being honest with yourself and realizing that you don't love yourself, or don't know how, is painful.
@@justdena15
Yessss!!!!! You are so right!! We was not taught because the generation before us was not taught. I just had this conversation with my cousin last night. Its sad really.
@@lovelyicy6395 Olive Garden ICY🤣😟😯
True. When I fell out of love with my ex husband, I realize how foolish I was to be with him for that long. I honestly feel embarrassed because everyone could see he was using me, but i couldn't, until I fell out of love.
Chloe, I could give you a double 🙌 high five if I saw you in person. This commentary is fire 🔥 🔥 🔥 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
@@EduardoOliveira-zx9ju well maybe NOT you
@@EduardoOliveira-zx9ju we need to all change our mind set and well all can win 💑
@@makedafindlay9398 he's a TROLL Always lurking on these type of videos. I swear I've seen that same profile pic a few times.
Eduardo Oliveira all I know is 80% of women ain't marrying you. A man doesn't cry about what women do its feminine. The way you so emotional in the comments you are on the verge of asking Chloe for tampon. Seek help, God or a therapist 🙄
@@Kimmy_95 ok I did not know this.
Men will never be a prize
We consider men thinking with their penis a flaw but I consider women thinking/making decisions based on their emotions (especially when it comes to a relationship) to be on the same level. In both cases, you will likely make less than smart decisions.
JGS True 👌🏼
@@candorsspot2775 yes. It will not change either because that is just reality. But we can train to make our values clearer and choose the right person for the right reasons from the jump.
@@candorsspot2775 as much as I agree with the statement of God's grace saving his children, I realized that religion has played an extremely large role in manipulating women into becoming pickmeshas settling for subpar men. And you're right....the problem isn't more money...it's the lack thereof. I saw my parent's dysfunctional marriage fail because of the lack of money. My father was not a provider. Luckily my mother left him. But guess what? It was the religious folks at my church persuading my mother to stick the relationship out "for the sake of the children".The lack of money ruins relationships and the manipulation of religion ruins women. I have yet to watch or hear a sermon preach about how men should be providers but I can assure you that I've heard more sermons preaching that women should be self-sacrificing and put up with the uttermost bullshit for a marriage. A women must stay in a marriage to her emotional, physical, and psychological destruction but God forbid she puts herself first and value her overall health rather than marriage. So tell me... Is this what God intended? For a woman to put every need, opinion, doctrine, and wellbeing of others over her own self value? More money never ruined anything, the love of money does.
Hold this W for that comment!
@@gigijanae1460 really
Been divorced 8 years now. Single and Celibate 5. There are times of loneliness but it is all worth it
Financial reasons, feeling like a loss of a bad investment, wasted time and also thinking nothing better is out there. Thinking already put too much time in might as well stay, also thinking I will only go through this again with someone new.
Yes!
All marriage isn’t perfect but i think if a man or a women doesn’t show you that he cares enough to work thought the problems that’s when you leave. Nobody talks about therapy or counseling. A lot of people have inner problems and therapy can help
Why should a rich man care? He has options. If you were a rich man you would be careless too
You're right
@@EduardoOliveira-zx9ju because there's such a thing as being in love. If you're in love as a man, you would want to make it work. You're thinking from a shallow standpoint. Not all rich men want to take advantage of women just because they have more options,, some value committment and finding their soulmate.
i agree but i think if u do go thro the whole process of therapy and shit hits the fan yet again, thats when its official official and prob the answer to the question "should i go?" bc there are no more outlets to exhaust
Jim n chrissy definitely tired counseling and Jimmy mom is definitely the problem. I feel like she a narcissist Mother who obessed with her son love life what's Crazy is Jimmy not a only child this Nigga has siblings. I can tell Jimmy loves chrissy but really needs to work on himself little do people know they broke up for a year or two before they got back together he literally chased her . He also still Fucking Yandy don't ask me how I know I just know. I feel like chrissy felt like if she got married to Jimmy she'd come second to his Mommy/Yandy even tho Jim doesn't want a romantic Relationship with Yandy at all. I don't know if you ever watch love n hip-hop season 1 but that's the reason there was so much cattiness towards chrissy from Yandy. N little do kimbella know Yandy had a thing with juelz Santana too. People so focused on Jim n chrissy when they need to be focused on how juelz low-key beats Kim cheats on her n mentally Abuse her . This is why Kim thought juju was talking about her in her book.
Please be aware , celebrities are also selling the dysfunctional dating culture.Its a AD ppl !
We as women are starting to recognize the signs. We are now able to pick out emotionally unavailable men and cheating men. But there is also danger in falling for overly emotional and “faithful” men. Men can be faithful in body but not in spirit- they can put you at the bottom of their priority list (if on the list at all) and turn around and say “at least I’m not cheating, you should be grateful!”
In 2020 we need to strive for emotional MATURITY, not just availability. We need to strive for mutual love, respect, and dedication. Ladies, settle for nothing short of complete adoration, ya hurddd 🗣💎
Great breakdown, Chloe. You are spot on about how a man’s age range has an effect on his maturity level.
@Isa Rivera They're part of the MGTOW movement- men going their own way. Basically toxic betas with a vendetta against women, particularly single mothers. They come and troll the comments sections of women's channels. They just need to be ignored.
People (men and women) remain in relationships, and allow themselves to be mistreated because they feel that is what they deserve. The others that remain only do so because they are afraid to be alone. It is really that simple.
Not true. I believed and knew I deserved better than the abuse. But it's hard to leave once you are attached. It's not logical. It's biochemistry - addiction. And I believe there's a spiritual part too. The Bible says two become one for a reason. Hard to cut off someone that became a piece of you. I did it but it's hard
@@taghazoutmoon5031 You're speaking from your experiences and I was speaking from mine.
@@dee-dyi I agree with you 100% precent. People are really over thinking human nature
@@munchkineatsalotvent9899 That is exactly it as you stated overthinking human nature! Time, Finances, Experiences/Memories, Fear (loneliness and failure), all play major roles. At the end of the day it's still a choice.
At 42 I have no desire to be a mother figure to a younger man. My ego doesn’t require that type of stroking and Stella hasn’t lost her groove!
I’ve seen far too many women in my personal life take up with younger men and it has never worked out in their favour.
At 42 you should be in a rocking chair sewing fabrics together
Eduardo Oliveira I literally see your comments on every video and in everybody’s comments. Get a job bum.
Offset is only 27?! He looks soo much older, just like Lil Wayne and most of them. Fast life i guess...
Ladies, you are the prize...period and should always treat yourself as such. All the sacrifficing for non deserving men brings resentment and bitterness eventually. Great content Chloe 💗
Velvet Rose
Well let’s be real tiny ain’t no price just look at her she is a 3 at best. TI is a millionaire and famous so obviously TI is the price. And the same goes for guys that look better than their women and have their shit together
@@kengucci4850 Let's be real, you're on the wrong channel.
Velvet Rose
Let’s be real what i said is facts! Lol and Well RUclips is to watch vids and comment
@@kengucci4850 what you said was your opinion, based on what characteristics are physically appeasing to you. Enjoy your week.
I think as a man when I hit the wall of understanding was when I got hit by the 08 recession. Before 08 I had a high paying job and I had women for everyday if the week. But I had a one woman that stuck it out with me. I rebounded tremendously because of my wife. I would be a fool to go back to my 08 mentality! I created a life where my wife doesn't have to work if she doesn't. I've been highly rewarded for this
This is why I date older men (45 is the minimum) edit: I guess it wasn’t obvious lol, but I mean older men worth my time. Red flags are red flags. Be smart. And please, use common sense 🤦🏽♀️
Yes I don't understand how women date men who are younger than them it's just weird
Be careful sis, i got a 51 year old that less immature than t.i. he is so confused i think he's possessed.
Stephanie Pierre are you still with him?
indika blu I know men who are over 50 .. still immature. It really depends on whether they want to mature or not
@@stephaniepierre8496 leave him alone at this age he will never grow up
I’m young(21) but I can’t wait to find a man of means who checks all of the boxes I put forth. I’ve seen people saying younger women should “explore” at a young age before practicing hypergamy but idc I control my own world and I wanna start young. I don’t want to have to sift through 100s of dustys and be hurt a billion times to finally find the right one when I’m already beat up and ran through or end up in a long unhappy marriage. Which is why I never get into relationships. Never even touched a guy. I date and usually never see the guy after the first date because he didn’t check ALL the boxes. If it’s not perfect I’m not touching it.
It's easier to make your own money than waiting for a man to take care of you. Focus on making money. The right man might find you in the meantime
Taghazout Moon I do make my own money. I work at an interior design company. I’m also working on owning my own business. I’m not waiting around doing nothing. Lol.
Girl I totally understand I'm not into that whole having fun stage like I don't have the nerves for it, I'm 20.
You are doing good, but please one date isn't often enough to see if a guy is right for you. Give them two or three dates, of course if they are clearly not broke
THANK YOU!!! Because this has literally always confused me! My mother has ALWAYS been respected in her relationships still to this day that’s what I grew up seeing, this other shit is beyond me + weird
Not "OFFDUMMY"....I SCREAMED....lol. Love your videos so very much! Spot on!!!
I solely agree about the age gap, I could never marry a man younger than me all my life I’ve always been with OLDER men.
Great way to start off my 25th birthday breakfast and a video from chloe_!
Happy Birthday!
Chloe_ Thank you!!
I said before,and will say again. We teach others how theyre allowed to treat us.
If they cheat WITH YOU, honey,trust and believe THEY WILL CHEAT ON YOU .you cannot be the side piece,move up to main joint,and get upset when same behaviors exist. I mean ,that person already shown what they about by cheating with you in the first place.
Make him invest in you! Best advice I’ve ever heard!!!
Your analysis of Dummy B and Offsemen is on point 👌🏾.
☠☠☠☠☠☠☠
Would be interesting to see if T.I, Offset, Waka Flaka, and J.Z would forgive their wifes if they where the ones cheating 😂😂😂
Angel Gray
That would never happen, they would kick them to the curb right away. Men can’t forgive cheating like women do.
@@kengucci4850 True. Women forgive the guy and hate the other side chick forever. Men kick their cheating gfs to the curb. Sad
That’s true with the exception of Jay. I don’t think Beyonce would ever leave because they’ve built a fortune together and some splits don’t make sense. She probably has a side piece too.
@@strawberriesncandii plus you cant compare hay z to offset a t.i they are poor dusty. Jay z is private and he admitted working on himself to save Beyoncé when she left and it shows that he loves her. Offset is just so disrespectful i just don't like him he disrespect his wife so publicly.
This was in my recommended list, and now I'm binging all of your videos 🍿
Chloe_ OMG!!! Facts on facts! I wish I had this information before I married. The conditioning to stay in a marriage is subliminal for those of us who were not raised to be hypergamous or to view ourselves as the prize.
Ladies, leaving is hard. It's easy to say what you WOULD do, but until you have truly invested in a marriage, you dont know what you will do when the $hit starts hitting the fan. Leaving takes courage. Leaving takes strength. Leaving takes money. And leaving takes the realization that you will be punished with smear campaigns and legal fees out the wazoo if that piece of $hit wasn't done with you. After all, these dusties are out here thinking that THEY are the prize. So for them, it's a sentiment of "How dare she leave ME?"
KEEP DOING THIS WORK CHLOE_; we need this.
Whew..here for it
linda:-)
I divorced my ex when I realised that truly I had become like mother, not just mother to his children, but he said it himself that I am the one who he runs to, who is always advising him and guiding him... 🤨Real change happened when I started to ask myself “what’s in it for me?” I realised I bring nothing to the table because I am the table, I am the Prize that he should feel lucky he even got invited to take a seat! I was in that marriage for eight years, and I really took my vowels to heart meaning I was going to be with this man till the end, no matter what! Then I realised I wasn’t Jesus Christ and I don’t have to sacrifice my life for the greater good, only for my children and certainly not for a man who can and will cheat lie to fulfil himself at my expense, and yes he was a dusty, and I was his soldier ride or die dust bunny Bob the Builder bitch. I’m starting to understand that we need to re-educate women’s approach to marriage: it is when a man chases you to win his prize! It does not condition you as belonging to someone, it is a choice you make to commit to someone but only when they meet your requirements and standards. If you have no standards don’t get married because that means you’re going to take on whatever shit he offers you. A lot of women stay in marriages out of the fear of not knowing themselves, (they think they can’t survive without the other person, or have been conditioned to believe that this other person somehow completes them) and some women stay because they care so much about other women taking their husbands, feeling like failures...
The truth is in a man’s world a woman is always replaceable, there’s so many of us around for them to pick and choose.
What makes you stand out and what keeps him with you is the fact that he spent more money on you or has put in more effort in trying to earn you, so for this reason he will protect his investment.
Lol Yes, I know how must look! This is Bishop Myles Munroe he is a man whom I very much admire and respect.
BlackDrum Thank God we now live in the world were being married no longer defines a woman’s value, I mean there’s only so much a man can really offer a woman after all that she can if she chooses to get for herself, and I think if a black woman chooses to brag about being divorce it’s because she recognises that she’s come out of a situation that no longer serves her, she is liberated, that’s why she brags😌
and, if it’s true that black women are the least married it’s probably because black women are less likely to want to settle for less than they deserve,
But unfortunately the market is full of men who don’t measure up and make a lot of excuses, but don’t make enough money,
Black women are not hard to love, they’re just very hard to keep quiet about the things that bother them in a relationship, that’s why I really dig this channel because layer by layer she’s forcing us to question what we’ve been conditioned to believe about what we think we deserve.
♥️👏👏👏
Yay! Sunday sermon!
I left, but it took long time because I have kids with him.
Kimiko Buford exactly my issue now but I’m so near the end
@@KikiWithKen me too!
Hang in there. You will know when it’s time to go.
M Lane 5 years. 3 years to divorce.
Women are told to look up to husband and respect they are in charge and the head.respect have to be earned.some men and some women should never get married, should stay single so they can sleep around with who ever and when ever.
Chloe thank you another wonderful video your are so smart and you are way ahead in you ideology and thinking.
One of the reasons i do notttt date men younger then me. I refuse to. And i refuse a lot.
Wow Chloe you always have hidden gems in your videos. ☝🏾 The 🔑 is to “make a man invest in you”. Say it again!!!! 🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾
“Which is why you need to subscribe to this channel!” Yessss it’s back! 😭❤️
Sunday Morning ritual, thanks chloe_
Congratulations Chloe_ on 11 million followers 🥳
I can’t with these pictures
THESE PICTURE REFERENCES THOUGH...THE SHADDDDE🤣🤣🤣🤣
Marriage is business that's why you sign a contract. Only people who seem to understand this are people with money.
The ONLY person who understands this is divorce lawyers
Eduardo Oliveira don't you get tired, take a nap sweetheart. You been up and down the comment section in tears, we get it women ain't shit blah blah don't date them if this makes you so unhappy. As a man there's so much you can do with your time like find a job, see a therapist, count sheep 🐑, make friends so you can bitch and moan about women because this ain't it darling.
Pastor Chloe did not play on this video! Ladies, please listen...you are stronger, and smarter than you think...Be asset to yourself, first, and the rest will follow. And continue to show this channel much love!❤
61 years old married at 23 not even knowing the real person, until I started call ing out on some total disrespect right up in my face,then the nasty narc behavior started.grew up believing we all change as we get old,so stayed ,told to forgive,yelled screamed,shouted,cursed, things are still the same,this person is very cruel with words, always right.
HI Chloe- have a look at the Bryant Gumble story..it was sad a real example of sacrificing your happiness for a constant cheater and being dropped at 50 for a blondie while getting a new position.
Watch knowing the narcissist !!! It’s a RUclips channel by professor H.G. Tudor he is a genius ! And a high level narcissist.... So much more to narcissism then what we think.
Chloe you are very smart and WISE
Commenting again cause whew lawd
Her marriage her business. Spend that energy on your self and your family.
I left the marriage long time ago; but I still talk to my boy’s Dad coz I need to allow him to play his vital role as a Dad in his Life.
Thank you Chloe_ you saved my life.
Abusive men are NEVER the prize ladies! Great episode, one of my fav you tubers 🙆🏼♀️ I’m so happy being single, so liberating to have freedom from a toxic relationship...
...I know plenty of men that are mid 40s to 50s still the same what she said about the wall is so true. 🤷🏽♀️
This video really spoke to me! Thank you so much
I have a very low threshold for bullshit, tolerance, loyalty, patience lol. I drop them real quick! I however need to pick my men better. I prefer older and financially stable, I just need to get them to invest alot more than they usually do.
The note you ended on reminds me of the Tyler Perry movie Acrimony
So true. BIG THUMBS UP 💚I wanted you to go DEEPER many of these ladies are even having group sex at his request. That's insane!!!!
She pretty much gave the reason for that and many other things women allow. They see their men as the prize and subject to their every whim and desire so they won't lose them.
@@LSJGS yeah but I didn't hear how they sleep WITH the other women. Even' becoming' bisexual for a trash prize. My thoughts. She definitely hit the main point. There are so many layers of self disrespect
It all goes back to mentality and childhood wounds that remain unresolved and now you’re a grown woman and still attracting the same type of love you’re used to
This video was like an arrow straight to the heart..😖.but it was a good one❤
Thank you so much for making these videos please keep dropping them gems for us ladies ❤
Chole_ another great video!!!! I love all your videos. I told all my girlfriends about your channel.
Hi Chloe_, I actually like your videos as a Black man. Anyways, I'm 32, single, no kids, never married, work as a software engineer making well into six figures, calm, knows how to compromise, ready for marriage BUT, I cannot find the type of Black woman I want. I could easily find a White/Asian woman, but I do not want to marry one and want to pass my resources on to a Black family. All I look for is a Black woman that is between 23-30, educated, smart, feminine, slender/slim thick, can compromise, and doesn't mind stay home once kids come along (at least during the younger years). I am provider and would love to provide and cherish my future wife.
Where can I find this type of woman I so much adore and want?
G M The South! Women like that attend charity galas.
I have been dating a narcissistic who has been gaslighting and projecting for two years... I keep forgiving him but it's hard because of the emotion bond. I need help
Jennifer Phan get out. Here is the help. Leave baby because the longer you stay the worse it will be. You have to basically leave in the middle of the night without a word (figurative not literally) if you know what is going on, telling him you’re leaving is not going to work in your favor. You’ll literally have to ghost him, block him on everything, tell your friends to not contact him and start healing. There is a ton of RUclips videos online that will give you knowledge and strength but you have to leave for your mental, physical, emotional and spiritual health
You need to leave ASAP. I’ve never been in a romantic relationship with a narc but come from a long line of narcs on both sides of my family. Everyone in my immediate family is a narcissist. I always had a pit in my stomach when I was around them as a kid but I never knew why. It wasn’t until I turned 18 and started asking questions online did it all make sense. But by the time that happened I was knee deep. I was abused emotionally, physically, mentally, and financially everyday. I lost my childhood, teenage years, and now my 20s. As I now am approaching the last couple years of my 20s I urge you and everyone that can leave to leave as soon as possible before it’s too late. If you don’t have a marriage certificate or children with him consider it a blessing. When you’re in too deep people like that can even lead victims to commit suicide. Take this seriously and take your life into your hands before your eyes permanently shut before your time.
I like Tiny but she has a tendency to come for the women T.I is cheating on her with, instead of holding _him_ responsible. He is the main issue
Chloe you are a very smart woman... Teach and preach
Some women stay due to financial dependence on the hubby, but women with their own finances staying in an unhealthy marriage is mind-boggling. Perhaps there are other factors that cannot be understood by a person outside marriage. Remember couples take vows and women tend to invest a lot in those vows.
They invested so many years into the ralationship and marriage. Also starting all over again is not easy for an older woman specially one with kids. So sticking to what she knows becomes easier. Some women don't really care tho. In their mind he is coming back to me, so I don't care type of mentality..
I was the breadwinner and stayed. He was abusive too. Women get attached due to soul ties and trauma bonds with the man they sleep with. It's hard to get out. I only was able to leave because he gave me an opportunity to escape.
Children too
Here I am 5 years later....
I'm ready to receive this information, thank you Chloe_!
Got he in here shouting like church @ 3:43 This is the truth. I’ve experienced fear that had me stuck. I had to heal that ego & move on. Love your videos girl! Thank you!
Cardi’s name is pronounces Bell-Caah-Lees boo lol i chuckled when you said her name, love you chloe!
Thank you Chloe
My pride mad me stay too! It was horrible! In the distant past now thank goodness!!
This was very very informative
Can you do an in depth video on "soul ties"? 💕