Eu estou me dando eu estou me dando eu tô procurando pegando todos os crimeseles estão me dando mais eu vou levar para juíza eueu vou levar para juízo dos Estados Unidos prometi para juiz que eu ia com ele prova e não dá para ela eles estão me dando eu tô olhando
Tô só olhando as provas paraeu só olhando as provas lá para ela eu não conheço estou só olhando prova e levar para ela que eu prometi queprometi que eu ia buscar a prova de esquerda e direita eu vou buscar a prova esquerdo e direito esquerda direita até o cemitério eu vou colher as provas p até dentro do cemitério vou colher as provas se for preciso até de ir para o cemitério eu vou buscar as provas para juiz
Ela tá estou esquecendo eles estão esquecendo que eu tôoutra estou aqui na cadeirinha de p*** jogando que nem eu como culpado estou só olhando as provasestou lá tem que ir em cadelas e p*** eu tô olhando as provas para levar juízo eu prometi para juíza que as provas para esquerda direita esquerda direita tem prova para colher
P então meus amigos como eu falei passa mensagem para o exército Pl Pl se eles me buscar aqui eu passa mensagem para o exército que eu espero que ele vem me buscar que eu espero como garantia da minha vida eu confio no exército me buscar aqui e eles tem a competência eu tenho registro dentro do exército eu fui registradoe eu só posso entrar nesse país conjunto com o exército o exército tiver quiser fazer esse trabalho por estou esperando o exército fazer esse trabalho por mim se você puder me ajudar pode fazer isso por mim só o exército pode fazer isso por mim eupara mim não morrer como os covardes ele não bateu com os covarde só o exército para me proteger chegar em convite
Mixed feelings? 98% of it is bullshit but it's funny. He's like if trump was still a 100 percent liar but wasn't a complete fucking degenerate moron idiot non-funny racist asshole.
6:25 is literally some of the funniest straight faced comedy I’ve ever seen. Idk how to explain it but he’s just like my uncles who don’t even try to be funny it’s just naturally in them and the way they talk😭😭😂
You can tell Joey was a student of stealing back in the day, he scoped out everything, but on the flip side he's lucky he didn't get caught robbing the wrong person at the wrong time, that could be bad.
I was with a friend once who broke into my neighbor's truck and stole the radio faceplate so that he couldn't listen to music anymore it was a piece of plastic worth nothing and he ruined the guys radio.. karma got him though and he got 12 burglary 2nd degree charges. Never seen him again..
I had to tap out after the loud, obnoxious fake laughing from JD's guest. Great stories, but damn, edit out the phony hysterics from the peanut gallery.
There was just a study released by MIT. It was a study to find out how often the average person lies. It can be anything, from a small white lie to the big ones. Ok, now think about this. Get a number in your head.......ok, you have the number
I fractured 3 vertebrae in high school so I got strong pills like 3 dig kinds so I sold most of them well when I went to party's we robbed med cabinets I can't coun5t how many times I got full bottles of yellow tussanex and sold it 100 an Oz in the early 2000s man I was Ballin in hs
Lol joey is right there are so much camera and surveillance now a days that's why cyber crimes are more prevalent, easier to steal someone's social than mug someone
In highschool during Catholic church service me and my ex gf snuck off from mass when the youth split. We had sex in one of the side rooms than proceeded to steal 80$ of donations from the collection platter in the pastors office (church had 2 separate buildings one for adult service one for youth so no one seen at all being in separate rooms, buildings). We spent the money on weed and chinese food in that order. Sure im going to hell.
“It’s ‘83, and I’m 20 years old...” You already know Uncle Joey is about to regale us with tales of glory and grandeur, by the fire.
Living in D12
12:56
When joey slams his hand down, his pen does a perfect flip. I couldn’t do that on purpose lmao.
Yeah good eye brother!
😂😂😂😂😂omg
i love the concept of "Tales of Thievery" keep em coming
We need a vol 4 especially now that the church is done
“I used to break into this house so much that they would leave me notes” 🤣🤣🤣
“Wipe your feet asshole”😂😂
Eu estou me dando eu estou me dando eu tô procurando pegando todos os crimeseles estão me dando mais eu vou levar para juíza eueu vou levar para juízo dos Estados Unidos prometi para juiz que eu ia com ele prova e não dá para ela eles estão me dando eu tô olhando
Tô só olhando as provas paraeu só olhando as provas lá para ela eu não conheço estou só olhando prova e levar para ela que eu prometi queprometi que eu ia buscar a prova de esquerda e direita eu vou buscar a prova esquerdo e direito esquerda direita até o cemitério eu vou colher as provas p até dentro do cemitério vou colher as provas se for preciso até de ir para o cemitério eu vou buscar as provas para juiz
Ela tá estou esquecendo eles estão esquecendo que eu tôoutra estou aqui na cadeirinha de p*** jogando que nem eu como culpado estou só olhando as provasestou lá tem que ir em cadelas e p*** eu tô olhando as provas para levar juízo eu prometi para juíza que as provas para esquerda direita esquerda direita tem prova para colher
Priceless 😂🤣👍
Lee went through a shoplifting phase.... He kept taking free samples!
With his wet dreams. I'm jealous.
Now that some funny stuff but not far from the truth
Lmao 😂
I stole all the pencils from an IKEA
P então meus amigos como eu falei passa mensagem para o exército Pl Pl se eles me buscar aqui eu passa mensagem para o exército que eu espero que ele vem me buscar que eu espero como garantia da minha vida eu confio no exército me buscar aqui e eles tem a competência eu tenho registro dentro do exército eu fui registradoe eu só posso entrar nesse país conjunto com o exército o exército tiver quiser fazer esse trabalho por estou esperando o exército fazer esse trabalho por mim se você puder me ajudar pode fazer isso por mim só o exército pode fazer isso por mim eupara mim não morrer como os covardes ele não bateu com os covarde só o exército para me proteger chegar em convite
The most satisfying thing about listening to Joey tell stories is you never have to question wether he’s bullshitting or not.
He's not and I'm not sure if that's good or bad...
@@michaelgarcia2050 jus makes it authentic good or bad
17:10 "Thank God I've always been a gentleman" as he steals someone's food 😂
hey at least he cleaned it up
These guys are so smashed you could blindfold them with a shoe lace! 😂 love it!
i love when it cuts off when he starts to yell “you couldn’t leave a NICKE..”
0:07 Joey took Lee's Bar mitzvah money.
Life comes full circle
lmao hes a fat jew
@@alex-cj9mb
Don't be anti-semetic
APE X don’t be a baby
@@loveyourself5254
If a Rabbi ate your Foreskin
Your soul belongs to Satan
Are you with the
Cult of the Foreskin Eaters ?
Always nice to hear the wonderful things Uncle Joey got up to back in the day.
Joey Diaz your stories changed my life.
Hopefully the take away is how not to be a scumbag.
The Sandwich story got me crying!
The story about Joey and his friends stealing the pieces of the roof had me crying
I have such mixed feeling about these types of stories, one thing for sure they're funny lol
Puzzy
@@GripsGrips go ahead, steal my radio. But you'll never make it to retirement.
It's hilarious but at the same time I'm thinking what a piece of crap this guy is.
Rockford Napier this is from the past buddy. stop judging, and definitely dont fuckin act like youre better than anybody. let it go
Mixed feelings? 98% of it is bullshit but it's funny. He's like if trump was still a 100 percent liar but wasn't a complete fucking degenerate moron idiot non-funny racist asshole.
"And i got my eyes open"
Fully activated joey diaz when he says these words
Joey ' I still think about it once a week at night ' Diaz
Go back to JRE
That would be why he's a benzodiazepine addict
"Theres gotta be a victim"!!! Lmfao!!!😂😂😂😂
joey " i robbed a barmitzvah once " diaz
God better hide the silverware if Joey ends up in heaven.
Definitely.
Thats a big fucking if 😂😂
Hide your discs bro! 😉
Magnum dong
4:34 My mans super zooted here you can tell 😂
Ready for the breaths in between the story 😂
Finally I have found someone on fuckin RUclips that I can completely relate to fuckin love this guy
How the fuck did I just discover Joey Diaz has a podcast. One of the funniest men to ever crack a joke. The legend!
They left me notes 😂🤣! Priceless ☺️😂🤣! You saved my bad day 😂!
Joey lived his life like a game of thrones character
Funny how Joey is like a guest on his own podcast he just invites people to listen to him 😂
😂😂😂
I know someone when he was like 14 ran off with the basket after it came to him in church, probably left through a side door.
He definitely needed it more than the church.
“Joey Diaz full deposition 2019”
6:25 is literally some of the funniest straight faced comedy I’ve ever seen. Idk how to explain it but he’s just like my uncles who don’t even try to be funny it’s just naturally in them and the way they talk😭😭😂
You can tell Joey was a student of stealing back in the day, he scoped out everything, but on the flip side he's lucky he didn't get caught robbing the wrong person at the wrong time, that could be bad.
Plenty of people he robbed were the wrong person. Trusting naive family people were easy. He laughs fondly of all that he took.
Mother Algorithm you’re mad
The best thing about Lee is when he asks questions he seems like he's really wondering the answer, LOL
6:59 “They would leave me notes”
This is crazy, I’ve done things most of my life like Joey and it’s messed up, but it’s cool to see good criminals think alike
Thanks to Joeys thievery I cant take a piss without the NSA spying on me 😂😂
Waiting for the channel to reach that 500k mark!
Uncle Joey: what were we talkin about?
My high ass: ☺️ Idk
Great video compilation idea! Loved it!
"Fuck it, I was hungry in those days" ... it's a Philly cheese steak so that means it's everyone's sandwich.
Parties in the burbs were the best. I always found the jewlery box on my way to the bathroom. 💍
Joe coco Diaz has some crazy ass stories! 😂😂😂
At 2:14 I'm already rolling on the floor laughing bc I know what's coming
😭😭😭😭😭😭 this is the best
I WAS HUNGRY IN THOSE DAYS LOL
Joey should meet up at Beverly stop at laurel canyon do the 2.4 loop back to parking lot it’s just enough to keep knees plus back into good mix
I was with a friend once who broke into my neighbor's truck and stole the radio faceplate so that he couldn't listen to music anymore it was a piece of plastic worth nothing and he ruined the guys radio.. karma got him though and he got 12 burglary 2nd degree charges. Never seen him again..
Joey “it was 83” diaz
eddie bravos laugh is straight out of an evil kids movie lmao
0:00 “You ever clip a church, Lee?”
I was in the heyday of my heyday 1983
WHO TF COULD DISLIKE A JOEY DIAZ VIDEO
Joey is the Dennis Rodman of casing the joint
Fuck it whaddaya gonna do, there's gotta be a victim there😂😂😂
Lee reminded me of a great purse snatcher that cant run N gets caught!
Joey Diaz’s 1983 sounds like it is still going on
That was so enjoyable.
He really rob the bar mitzvah tho😂😂🎁 💵
My man said "different percentages" lmfao
I’m listening like a 3 handed man is robbin when the clerk turns his back on the bics
Anyone know if Joey is going on tour soon?
ahh ;83 i think that was the heyday of my heyday too joey....lol.
His stories are like movie scenes Hahaha
DISCLAIMER
0:00 - 3:00 watching this segment will show up on your drug test
Good googly moogly 😭😭
Do Joey Diaz's Tales of doing drugs pls
Joey is a great story teller but i think he has definitely heard the saying 'don't let the truth get in the way of a good story'....
i've heard most of these stories before unfortunately but I'll tell ya this much.. I dont let people come over anymore.
A Joey Diaz, Bill Burr n Charlie Murphy collab would of been too fire.
it was still even kind of warm
Hes hilarious
What were we talking about? Lol
"Good Googley Moogley"
You make great music
@@wetimusprime3066 thank you!! I really appreciate that homie
I had to tap out after the loud, obnoxious fake laughing from JD's guest. Great stories, but damn, edit out the phony hysterics from the peanut gallery.
19:00 shoot me
That dude and Jimmy Fallon would give each other a run for their money in the fake laughter department. Jesus.
everything he says, reminds me of when I was a little shit head before I went down LOL
From a bamitsva? Faaaark 😂
Joey Diaz loves dropping full names and specific locations. He’s a natural snitch
Chichi Basteitz
16:50 is he shooting up??? look at his arm
This is basically Goop for Men
Smash and grabs in cars those never get prosecuted
Coco Diaz-90$ per hour criminal consultant. ..lol
Steal all you want... Just don't get caught by the wrong one. Joey's lucky, go ahead and try your luck... I encourage you.
Put the audio from this vid and others on soundcloud so we can listen to it 24/7.
You can listen to it 24/7 on youtube
Volume control
Took the football game Philly cheese steak, had dude hot.
Eddie “as a bartender?” Bravo
Oh my f****** god I'm laughing so hard right now who robs a bar mitzvah
There was just a study released by MIT. It was a study to find out how often the average person lies. It can be anything, from a small white lie to the big ones.
Ok, now think about this. Get a number in your head.......ok, you have the number
Daniel Young a day ? A month?? What’s the variable
Anybody know what happened to sivedan he had all the great clips of the church but his channel just disappeared
Zionists got him
That one time Joey Diaz burgled an entire house
I fractured 3 vertebrae in high school so I got strong pills like 3 dig kinds so I sold most of them well when I went to party's we robbed med cabinets I can't coun5t how many times I got full bottles of yellow tussanex and sold it 100 an Oz in the early 2000s man I was Ballin in hs
Lol joey is right there are so much camera and surveillance now a days that's why cyber crimes are more prevalent, easier to steal someone's social than mug someone
In highschool during Catholic church service me and my ex gf snuck off from mass when the youth split. We had sex in one of the side rooms than proceeded to steal 80$ of donations from the collection platter in the pastors office (church had 2 separate buildings one for adult service one for youth so no one seen at all being in separate rooms, buildings). We spent the money on weed and chinese food in that order. Sure im going to hell.
If hell even exists brotha haha dope story
Lol, is the girl in the profile pic, her? Nicee
@@Vision-MileHigh no. Thats my wife of almost 8 years now. She knows the story so can share.
Yo I’ll see you in hell. You sound like a cool guy first rounds on me
@@imperatorvictix.444
Its God's fault
God made you horny
Lov u coco
He doesnt let his guests talk
Seriously, who in their right mind would give Joey a job as a bartender? XD
mah sandwich!
Bothers everyone who's done bad shit your not alone
Tubberware ain’t that old joe dawg
Somebody could make millions if they took his stories and made movies, I might do that shit, uncle Joey don't sue me 🤣🤣