A Message to Two Women I Saw at the Zoo
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- Опубликовано: 6 авг 2018
- Late Night writer Jenny Hagel tells Seth a story about her recent visit to the zoo, where two women pretended to be lesbians to try and get an $8 discount on admission.
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A Message to Two Women I Saw at the Zoo- Late Night with Seth Meyers
• A Message to Two Women...
Late Night with Seth Meyers
/ latenightseth 
Приколы
Pretending to be married should be reserved for special occasions, like getting health insurance.
Seth should use your line.
You're such a romantic XD
Excellent!
eyv - Actually, for health insurance you need to be pretend married, it's a subtle but important difference.
Or getting citizenship!
"Then why did you steal one of them?" Such a good line!
If there were two wealthy lesbians in line for the zoo, Jenny would have asked for Ellen's autograph.
Plus, they would have to have stolen the babies, 'cause Portia doesn't want kids.
I know this comment is a month old, but I just saw this and it made me choke-laugh so the sound that came out was a kind of weird, nasal "Haaaaaa" and my husband yelled from upstairs to call me Fran. So. Thank you! I laughed my ass off twice just now.
"I thought this went without saying, but apparently it doesn't..." should be a regular segment just in general, if it's not already.
In Australia family discounts are just a certain number of adults and children. If you're all attending together they don't care if you're related.
Lora Logue it’s the same in the UK as well, doesn’t matter who the two adults are, it just has to be adults and kids to get the discount
I like this idea. Then you don't have to determine if anyone is lying or is there any judgement about what makes a family/guardian.
In that case, it is a group discount rather than family discount
There's a lot of things the UK & Australia do that the US needs to catch onto. Like universal healthcare, and gun control.
San Geet nope it’s a family discount because it’s for 4 or 5 people. Group discounts I’m pretty sure have to be over 10 people
I love the recurring joke of Seth looking like a lesbian.
Idk, she mention it almost every single time she’s in a bit, and it seems like she needs new material. I literally see her and think of that joke, which isn’t even an original concept.
However, I still do like her overall, and know Seth has great writers!
I guess, but I find it makes it even funnier. totally get your point though!
Agree, that joke is recicled from Craig Ferguson's show
Though tbh Seth is a bit of a lesbian icon
@@@xsotax now that you mention it, I miss Craig Ferguson's show. Literally watched that every night in college. I miss him.
i've gotta tell brenda
Sophie Lesher just wait until you're in line at the zoo
I love her hair so so much.
Shannon Drullinger it's amazing
Kilo Mintoni I don’t know many people who don’t style their hair in some way. When you brush your hair, that’s a form of styling. Get out of here with your nonsense.
Me too, Shannon. Gorgeous. And Kilo, she was released from the writers' cage to be on with Seth, so of course it was professionally done!
I'm a man, and I have hair like that, and I've never had it styled or anything like that. It just looks like this. And I kind of hate it, but I got tired of looking like everyone else.
I'm helping a friend launch her magazine for curly-haired women this week and, as someone with, lets' just say, a haircut like Seth's, I am learning so much about the struggles of women (and men) with curly hair. So whether hers is naturally like that or styled, I agree...it's lovely! Plus I love Jenny...she seems awesome!
It's "I'm not gay, but $20 is $20", not "I'm not gay, but $8 is $8".
I'm sad she didn't mention the real problem here...that these scams make the people who run these places become more likely to discriminate in the future. The next time a lesbian couple comes through with kids, they are less likely to believe them because of this experience.
I know it's true in the return industry as well. The very common
'my baby just died, I forgot.my receipt, please just give me the full amount I supposedly paid!' scam happens all the time. And even though I only did returns for a few months I even got hit by it. They buy diapers on sale.elsewhere and return them to you asking to get back the full price.
And because it's so common and so well known we are jaded and we do put them through the wringer. But the horrifying thing is
... there's a chance they're telling the truth.
And it happened a few years ago...someone got destroyed by a cashier and the manager for trying to return a boatload of baby stuff. But her baby did die. And on every level I am so angry that this scam is so common that she ended up being emotionally destroyed by people just trying to keep the store from losing thousands of dollars.
... scammers do lot more harm than they realize.
Honestly I usually err on the side of it being true because the damage it does to someone to not be believed is far more significant than the cost of letting a scammer get away with it.
I know what it's like to not be believed - I'm disabled and people frequently demand comprehensive information about my body. And when they do believe me, it's always, "you're not like the others."
And it hurts me that if I looked different or behaved different than their stereotypes... my entire lived experiences would be dismissed and berated by this person who thinks the scammers harm me and not the person who has been made the decider of who supposedly is a scammer or not.
_“Now kiss!”_
is what the ticket guy would have said in a segment called Jokes Seth Can't Tell.
Or a letter to Penthouse.
I'm glad that she included her reasons for knowing they weren't gay, and they weren't simply, "Oh, you could just tell." I was hoping Jenny would not stoop to that level, and she didn't let me down. Also want to give kudos to some of the RUclips comments for cracking me up almost as much as Jenny did. :)
“Is the Smope Mathlick”?
Hahahah!
Lol love your username
Jenny's 2 Minutes of Mild Fury
I support this and also Jenny's 2 minutes of advanced fury
the best thing about this is "Is the Schmope Matholic?"
...I am a lesbian. Can I pretend to be straight to save $8?
Maybe to get a cake?
Phu Tran HA.
Straight people get discounts, damn. Lesbians get $8 off and now straight people. What about us bi folks? What do we get?
@@SmallSpoonBrigade More options in the dating world? 🤣
Chris L ummm......you break even
ill......ill show myself out:p
Short version: it's not okay to lie just because the president does it all the time.
Hey! The President has never claimed to be a lesbian.
@@jkm4645 don't give him ideas
I honestly wouldnt be surprised if we found a tape tomorrow of him saying he was a lesbian
@@jkm4645 Yeah but if he did he'd claim to be a great lesbian, the best lesbian ever.
This is a message to all of the Karens out there
I need to know how she makes her hair look so good!
It's called "Hair and Makeup" prior to the show...
ForeverSana97
Good genes is a good start...after that I’m lost.
Thank you for sharing this (genuinely). I often consider "teaming up" with my mates to get ourselves family discounts (we never had, but we have talked about it from time to time). I really only considered myself to be cheating the organisation, it never occurred to me how it would affect genuine gay families.
It rhymes with Matholic 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Presbyterian? Buddhist? IDK...
(Just kidding - I knew it was protestant ;)
The Ratholic Church's leader, the Dope, is notoriously anti-gay.
I often went for the family discount with my friend and our 2 sons. It only ever said 2 adults and two or 3 kids. Didn't pretend to be gay, just asked for that ticket and always got it.
What if its $9?
Canadagraphs no
No, it has to be at least double digits!
Can I pretend to be a lesbian to save $20?
"Don't pretend to be a lesbian to save money!" ?
Canadagraphs. In that case, eat carpet to save all that moolah.
Jenny cracks me up!
PhoebeFay RuthLouise She's not that funny.
Blueskin Blake 4.9k likes, 318 dislikes.
This show has THE best writers!
I love Jenny Hagel! You go girl!
I've never seen this lady before but I love her already. A great fit for the show!
She’s on about as often as Amber, she’s popped up in segments before. But yeah, she’s great
You've never seen their "Jokes Seth Can't Tell" segments?? GO WATCH ALL OF THEM NOW!
So Jenny..your saying i should or should not pretend to be a lesbian to save $8 ..cause the message was not really clear
Brisn Doty . The message is... it’s an act, it’s a joke....
wow..clearly i was being facetious (i know its a big word..it means i was joking) ..but i guess i made this post on the day some people went off there medications
I guess it's another would/wouldn't situation. Words are so complicated.
Brisn Doty well good thing you know how to spell facetious but not you're or their.
I'm a bit disappointed that they didn't explain how much money would make it OK. Would it be OK to pretend that I'm a lesbian to save, say $30? Or does it need to be at least $100?
2:37 "Does he pick his nose a lot?"
"Is the Schmope Matholic?"😂🤣😂🤣
God i love Jenny Hagel
I can top this! A family pretend3d that your son was handicapped at Disney World so they can skip the line! After they got off one ride, he went skipping and running around!
DAS is tough to get. Disability doesn't always look like a kid in a wheelchair.
Kids who are blind or deaf (etc.) can skip and run around too. Just saying. -- But I was very affronted when a couple of evangelicals came to my door, and their kid instantly became "handicapped too" when I said I was handicapped. Uh, there are generally (not always) "tells" when someone is vision-impaired or hearing-impaired or others, especially as kids. I can generally tell, because I've been around those. I was polite and didn't tell them off, but -- lying is not a good example to give for their church, and having their kid pretend in order to gain sympathy from someone genuinely handicapped? Not cool, dudes.
They should have followed this up the next day with a bit about Seth being caught pretending to be a lesbian to save $8.
I actually am queer and I have pretended to be in a relationship with my straight friend to avoid street harassment and in one case get free coffee. What's my moral responsibility in this? 🤔
That’s to feel safe in a public space, not to be a cheapskate. For the first one yes that is okay. Not sure about the second one yet
That's called camouflage to avoid verbal or physical harm. That's something not-so-straight folks have to do all too often to get by. Perfectly OK; being bashed, not OK. Free cup of coffee with your straight friend? Although that could be a café-au-lait grey area morally, on the other hand, I don't imagine a ton of gay or straight folks are pretending to be couples (or gay or straight or bi or etc.) just to get one or two free coffees, so the shop probably isn't losing a ton o' money on it. Also, a free cup of coffee now and then could be good business, public relations. IMHO. Yeah, overthinking this. Also, good you have accepting friends and allies. :)
I didn't know this was thing! Thanks for the tip!!
thank you Jenny for doing this
I'd watch a gameshow with that title.
I'm a recovering catholic, don't go to church but still have that institutional guilt.
"Is the Shmope Matholic" made me laugh the hardest.
Marry me, Jenny.
"Is the Shmope Matholick” should be canon answer to every dumb question
I love her.
Wait what's the zoo's family discount policy? Do you need to have two parents to be considered eligible for the family discount? That seems like a really important and concerning issue.
I love her bits, she needs her own show too, or does she do stand up?
"Is the Pope Catholic?" is no longer as rhetorical a question as it used to be.
A lot of people think he hasn't been since the second ecumenical council.
My crush omg
more Jenny please
''i need to tell Brenda about this''hehe
Joke with a bonus lecture.
As a lesbian i kinda don’t have an issue with this. If i was with my guy friend and there was a discount I’d pretend to be straight to get it and if i saw two straight women trying to do that i’d laugh and respect the hustle.
She is so funny I love her
Lol, well done☺️
More Jenny please
Great.
this is one of the only times i’ve seen a tv show say the word lesbian. it sounds dumb but it means a lot
Who else recited that with her, at home?
Hell of a groaner with the "Is the Shmope Matholic?" line.
Jenny Hagel is wonderful.
Same goes for trying to get free drinks at the bar.
Lol ILY Jenny.
Jenny ❤️❤️❤️
"I went to the zoo and I saw something that upset me..." If that's not a missed opportunity for any kind of joke, I don't know what is.
Ok, so what is the minimum amount beyond which feigned lesbianism becomes acceptable? Asking for a friend.
Frank Atanassow
$27.50.
Oh my goodness you are SO funny.😊
"Billionaire". Weren't you listening?
To get away from annoying guys? Idk, but I've seen it happen once or twice.
well, i'm not gay, but $20 is $20
What I got from this is that as a lesbian I’m entitled to save $8
This discount should be for the kids, or to help broke adults to take kids to the zoo
Jenny, you are gorgeous
I mean I’m New Zealand a family discount is usually two adults and two kids and it doesn’t matter who it is if you’re going in together they’ll give you the family pass
GO JENNY!
But it's ok that I pretend my 12 year old is 11 to save $8, right? I'm not going to stop doing that.
I literally cringed furseth when she made that comment about his haircut. That was such a good burn.
But if it's like $20, that's more ok.
Or maybe companies should just stop pricing that's discriminatory to singles. "Family discount" effectively means "single surcharge".
Love me some Jenny!
She's right!! ...and awesome :D
I would've used 2 words, but that works pretty good too.
Suddenly it made me remind of Steven Tyler's book where he says back in the days he and his Aerosmith buddies used to pretend they were British musicians to get a 50% tourist discount on public transport.
Most places here give family discounts on admission based on the number of adults and children. For example, if there are two adults and three children, you can get a discount. It doesn't matter if the adults are married or not or if the kids are theirs or not. Full disclosure: I live in Vancouver, BC, Canada
I 100% understand Jenny's feelings but I've got to say as a person who can't have children but loves to go out with all of my friends and their kids I think it's horseshit that a "family" in America is described as one particular thing and not what most countries describe it as and that's called a 'group of people who love and care about each other enough to spend their free time going to do fun activities' therefore receiving a small discount
I'm still trying to figure out what this zoo counts as a family. One adult with two kids doesn't qualify? What if the women had said they were sisters? How has the zoo done this for so long without just defining "family" as two adults with children under 12 like literally every other everything does.
sweetboo1022 sorry to hear about your personal situation
That being said this was clearly only a joke
It’s a fair point. Most places just describe it as 2 adults 2 children. I don’t see the need to get into the weeds on what constitutes a family.
sweetboo1022
You actually feel the "family discount" should be offered to any group of unrelated people, as long as they like each other? Seems like a stretch of the definition.
It's a joke
Late Night with Jenny and Amber.
Don’t teach your kids that lying is okay, and when it’s to save $8?? When your child starts lying to you, remember that you taught them that lying is okay when it’s absolutely convenient.
Poor seth 😔
What s beauty....
Current schmope is quite nice. Of course, as nice as it's possible for matholic.
Hehehehe...the Schmope...
Well, I ask my kids to pretend to be 5 to get a discount so I understand the need to lie...
Haha I had a straight friend suggest that we should pretend to be lesbians😂that’s when I came out...
In Toronto family passes for public transportation is just 2 adults and 2 children. No ticket worker should (have to) arbitrate who’s actually a family 🤣
You're welcome in my church :)
Well....I didn’t plan to before this.....
LOOK AT THE NAILS
When is that being sold as a bumper sticker?
*edit* fixed typo. G***amn dyslexia >.
I never put stickers on my bunkers.
Max Maxwell Yeah you don't want identifiers
Mathlic lol
Man, men lost out because Jenny is gorgeous and funny.
I was picking my nose when she said her son was too...
I'm glad I listened to this til the end, at the start I was kinda "eh" and confused but then the bit kinda started coming together. However if there is a discount for any amount of money and I can get it without physically harming anyone or taking it from someone else, I'm gonna do it. Sorry, I don't feel bad about it. I need money too and my individual experience isn't going to hurt anyone.
is she staring at the wrong camera the whole time or are the cue-cards 20 feet away from where they should be?
Lmaoo
Then again, 20 years ago no one would pretend to be lesbian in public out of fear so having people pretend to be gay or lesbian is a good sign.
What about having a Costco wife? That’s a $60 savings!
Is that Shmope matholic?
What about saying it's your birthday to get free cake at a restaurant
I would never attempt that because of the humiliation of having all the waiters sing their horrible clapping songs to you....