Best HFY Reddit Story : Human Don't Give a Fu*k
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- Опубликовано: 13 сен 2024
- #hfystories #sciencefiction #scifi
Original story link all credit goes to author:
/ humans_dont_give_a_fuck
Author Profile:
/ rijento
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Humans are Space Orcs
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#scifi #hfy #hfystories #scifistoriesHFY, HFY Story, HFY Short Story, HFY War
Science Fiction, Sci-Fi Story, Sci-Fi Short Story, Sci-fi HFY
Humans are Space Orcs
Reddit HFY Stories, Reddit Stories, Reddit Humans are Space Orcs, Reddit Sci-Fi Stories
HFY Stories, Short story for sleep, fantasy sleep story, space short stories, scifi stories human war, best scifi short stories, space adventure, space fantasy, fantasy story
#scifi #hfy #hfystories #scifistories
“Good men don’t need rules… now is NOT the time to find out why I have SO MANY RULES.”
The Doctor.
holy fuck it encapsulates this so well
Its not a war-crime the first time.
which of his incarnations has made this warning
@@HrLBollethe 11th doctor,when he was talking to an enemy who didn’t believe him capable of defeating them cause they believed his rules would stop him,after they kidnapped his companion.
@@kiritoequalspotato493
Sounds Like " demon's run"
The least believable part is that the Humans didnt hunt them down with barbarous cruelty after shattering Earth
I mean based on how we treat our planet 🌏 it's clear that we don't care plus would those born on the colonies care?
True
I don’t think our species is capable of forgiving an atrocity.
Why? A planet is a planet - we can terraform another.
@@Jamhael1why get angry at someone killing your mother you can just get adopted by another
If there is ANY creature on this planet that deserves to be put on a united human flag .... It's the Honey Badger...
"Honey badgers don't give a SHIT!" 😂
Honey badger don't care
That or the black mamba, they both don't give a shit.
Humanity is a Capybara
Human Engineers after the council meeting: they said they WANT us to use the war crime stuff in storage?
“Come at us with everything you have! No rules!”
Ight bet bitch 😂
"stop I can only get so erect" the engineers probably
The Carcans fell victim to one of the classic blunders... 🫣
Hahahaha I read that in Canadian
@@MalkhiaSidhe Human Marines: Omg omg omg omg clapping like giddy schoolgirls!
They should have said. "Understand, establishing rules isn't something we do looking for mercy. It's something we do to stop ourselves from using your corpus for various filthy things, physically and spiritually."
The Canadians were given free reign lol. XD
Canadian Savagery, Geman Engineering, American Defense Budget, all wrapped up in a Gen X package. 🤣
@@MalkhiaSidhe all of this while we start singing sea shanties on spaceships like its lockdown again
@@ZeruelBoh shit, you started doing that then too? I thought I was the only one lol
@@TheRealAaronSmithleave her Johnny....
It's always the quiet ones..😅
Well Geneva just became a checklist
The Canadians boutta have fun
@@chayonouyI have seen many jokes about Canada and Genova checklist, what the f did they do during the war!?
I mean sure, something on the list, but what?
@@aoisubarashi5371Canada broke a lot of Geneva rules
@@aoisubarashi5371 Yes
@@aoisubarashi5371usually they did something, and after that it was considered a war crime, so they something else, it went on and on, until geneva convention was made.
Or so I heard.
The reference to that animal that doesn't give a fuck at the end brought it all together😂
Percussive Maintenance...
Yep, as a mechanic in the army, I can verify that it does indeed work, and we do indeed use it.
I was a mechanic in the Air Force. Can confirm we use it too when needed.
@@codygarcia6045I prefer to think of it as Gentle Persuasion. A bit of encouragement to comply. ;)
Human engineer: "so they want us to use the war crime stuff"
other Human engineer: "yes"
Human engineer: "how much of it"
other Human engineer: "yes"
Human engineer: *incoherent war crime noises*
Human marine hearing that: "wait the officer is now to protect US instead of THEM
Human Marines LT: "Yes now go my little shit bird commit war crime unpunished go and do what your heart desires"
yes we did kick our desktop computers, that were under the desk, to fix them, it did work.
Smacking old TV were the way we turned them on. 😁
And to fix them if they glitching 😂@@raggarbergman
And don't ask us why, because it should also have broken them.
And the laptop on top of the desk got slapped to hell and back. It is now laughing meniacly in fan, but it worked.
@@EO-McLoud i just refused to use a laptop for work. I would carry my desktop where i went . Wasn't so bad as i also refused to fly. Since i did so much traveling in the States they least a car long term for me. Hertz really hated me for all the miles i put on it.
Negotiations are just something to do while our snipers are getting into position.
There's another saying.... "Diplomacy is the art of saying "nice doggy", while you reach for a big stick."
The rules were for you to have a chance. I laughed the whole time. We don’t give a fuck. Every last one.
No rules means canadians and germans having fun
With a full human race supporting it logistically and without invading Russia in the winter😂
THE GERMANS BRUH I CANT
probably the polish too
"The high quality of the goods they produced" nice to see we didn't let China get a monopoly on that, at least.
XD
They said "high quality" so China must have given up on manufacturing by that point
Humans are NOT space orcs. Humans are space dwarves. ROCK AND STONE!!!
It ain’t a gun unless it weighs at least 100 pounds
War-like nature does not compare in experience the natural history of humans.
An average Russian day is probably the most violent activity for them
@@kareemdurrant139likely, innit?
The fact that the USA has legalised general firearm possession would probably make them hesitate.
@@eagle32349 3D printed guns for everyone
“They weren’t monsters for fighting a few wars between their people.”
“Wait, what? That whole long list was just THIS YEAR?”
“You know nothing of the bottomless malice within the human heart!!” - Isaac Netero (HxH)
We are the Chimera Ants of the galaxy. ❤
My guy really said no rules give me your best shot and we replied with remember we gave you a way out 😂😂😂
“Welp we tried to warn you” whistles here comes the sun
To quote Jorden's comment "Well Geneva just became a checklist"
Damn... That took schorched earth tactics wayyy more literally than any other conflict
Humans don't give a fuck bc to us, in the words of Denis Leary in a military technotoy movie, "everything else is just a toy." We're good at everything. Even banging on stuff so it works again or is in utter (stellar) flotsam. I remember Roanoke Gaming say in many of his videos that "humans are a jack-of-all-trades species". This enables the most advantageous, uncanny, dangerous & dominant trait for the most factual & powerful quote in the multiverse: *_"HUMANS DON'T GIVE A FUCK."_*
“It is my understanding, gentlemen, humans did not evolve to the top of their homeworld's food chain. They got somewhere in the middle. And then they started to think.”
- credited to xenobiologist Lheshan Uhl, disputed
“Hmmmm if this sharp rock is accelerated to near or past the speed of sound, very few living things could protect against it… make the explosion bigger” random human
@@theshadowwalker8244 You’re about 150,000 years ahead, fam
It sounded like these aliens landed in America and just didn't see the other continents
That's because they don't matter
This is the one of the very few original and genuinely funny one of these type of stories.
Honey badger reference 👌
Are you one of the authors parents or grandparents? Thats the only way your comment would make any sense.
@@Manhandle730 Nah, most of these stories are generic garbage, AI generated crap. This one has a cute premise, an unusual twist or two and a funny zinger at the end. And honestly, I DGAF if it makes any sense to you because I'm a honey badger.
Actually had me laughing zero fucks given… sums us up pretty well
"when a good man gives a fu*k... "Demons Run"
lmao
wicked story
thx
Not gonna lie, i kind of love how based the xenophobic empire is
if we ever start to give a fu*k it's usually with the pre cursor word "WHOOPS"
even worse if we start to positively getting hectic and restless in mind and body
David McCullough passed away two years ago, but his family still owns his voice.
Who is that
There is an extremely good Podcast called 'Crysalis'. The plot is that Aliens destroyed earth and hundreds of years later a human AI awakens and hunts down the Aliens in revenge of humanity. It's BRILLIANT.
There’s also one where a hostile and militarily superior empire attacks earth and all human ships, defences, etc. keep firing randomly into space for a month. No one realises what happened, until 200 years later, every single one of the attacking species planets get hit by mass amounts of kinetic bombardement. Turns out the humans had just fired mass amounts of near lightspeed projectiles at the future positions of their enemies planets.
At that point, humans still exist as a species, but not as a government, so there isn’t even anyone to punish.
Fun story but... if were spacefaring and a species cracked Earth, we would erase them from existence or die trying. Have you seen us?
No way humans wouldn't care about the loss of earth. Like zero
But Humans didnt give a FUCK
I imagine at this point most humans were either born or have lived on a different planet for most of their life. We’d probably have gene libraries that allow us to bring back all the wildlife that existed on Earth as well. So it wouldn’t be much different from if you found out your childhood home burnt down during a war.
100% we'd wipe out the other species entirely. We'd done it to ourselves for less.
The multiple mispronunciations from the computer narrator is very distracting.
Sorry for mistake sir 😔
It's ai
Loooser
@@ocnier"computer narrator"
It's a computer dude
Damn, that picture is good.
Why?
@@Manhandle730you know why!
As soon as I heard "a few wars" at 2:48 I knew the galaxy was in for a shock. Plus the title of course😅
Humans being stronger than most other species in this story makes sense. Because in reality we really are near the gravity limit for space flight. Any higher and planes would be the only thing we could build that could lift off of the ground. So our bodies are built to withstand this brutal crushing weight
hey why did the AI suddenly develop an accent for a minute at around 12:00? lol
Hitting stuff to make it work it's called percussive maintenance. As far as the not giving a f***, it's like The unofficial slogan of Texas. But yes a disturbingly accurate representation of the human race.
They said it was called Percussive maintenance in that paragraph.
This is one of the best HFY vids ever produced!!!
What _is_ it about these single-image, AI-generated reads of reddit stories that I find just so damn compelling?!
We must be absolute icons of virtue in the future, because if some shits came along and cracked Earth, the galaxy would look upon me in disgust for what I did in retaliation.
the author has no idea how humans live think ans feel
That would have been when humanity went full genocide. And the infinite spam from PETA would drain their sanity
@@Inaire_Falen I would make Pelinal look outright pacifistic in comparison. I'm talking Montségur levels of prejudice.
@@kristofevarsson6903 Alien skin would be a luxury leather if we had to leave Earth. Even their blood and bones could be utilized.
The Carcan Admiral had honor at least
Replace "humans" with "Americans," and you have it right.
Not really, all current civilizations have done ridiculously reckless stuff on the hay day of their culture. It's just this is America's time to do it. When push comes to shove, we all are capable of doing stuff which nobody would think we are capable of doing.
Morale of the story: Don’t mess with Earth.
Great Story! Thanks!
What a Sleeper ❤
The Orion Rocket would have got us into orbit, it was developed by general atomics.
Same tactics used by Russia against Napolian
For a hot second I was bummed out that the voice was AI. I believe Casey Kasem was the inspiration model. The story itself was very entertaining.
"You don't understand, we don't want rules for our sake, we want rules to protect you from us"
so many of these stories are so 'preachy' and full of haughty pronouncements , this one is so refreshing and in this story as in real life , I think the happiest people or at least to most adaptable are those that don't give a "F".
Story was written like someone who just started swearing
I love how 90% of thumpnails for these Storys are just OC-Mandalorians 😂
Way too much swearing. Takes away from the tone of the story. Very distracting.
Good story.
AI voice was kind of annoying when it mispronounced words.
But, all in all, entertaining.
Great name for a empire 7:16
Good me don't need rules to make them easy to live around. Bad men need rules to make them safe for others.
Those rules of war you just tore up was not for our protection, they were for your protection from us!
If earth was shattered I think humanity would be out for blood lol. XD
Mercy? Yeah........Nah...................... They wouldn't have gotten a calorie.
Excellent!
Lol, great story 😊
The least believable part was when they seemlessly integrated another species into their society. We cant even do that with ourselves
the AI isn't reading correctly - the pronunciation is wrong and the cadence is awful.
Fix it then
Makin me proud to be human once again 🫡😎🙏
LMAO Love it! And its so true.. We really don't give a fuck.
For gods sake pay someone to read these properly...
Hell give me £20 a go and I'll do it
Human Engineers are very respected, galactically. Additionally, Earth beer is highly prased. That is what had been rumored. Guess im glad to be an engineer at a beer and ethanol plant. 😢
6:49-7:43 Sounds like the Narrator from Space Dandy. The ridiculousness too.
Wow, of all of these IA stories.. this one came out of the left field. 😅.. Good one.
This is fucking hilarious
I spat out my drink at the Xenophobe species name and started cackling at the editorial.
Um... this does not sound like humanity.
I'm pretty sure this is a Stellaris lobby lol
The Emperor of Humanity has joined the chat.
FOR THE EMPOROR!!!!!!!!!!!!
Love the thumbnail.
wow this is good.
Absolutely gold😂
(JW trolling here) to tell you about the joke; we don’t give one about it either.
It's already fiction, but when you bring Jehovah into this mess it's blasphemy.
Stop copyright infringement via AI
How is this copywrite infringement?
@andypants1062 the tag photo is clearly a copy of the Mandalorian armor owned by Disney/Lucas arts.
I'm not even getting into the shit show of the story, the changing sex and name of the enemy leader, the continuous error in pronunciation of simple words, and so on.
@@tkilley5248 you know these are written by people, yes? The stories are. Links to every author and post are in the description. And fanart/fan fiction/taking inspiration from existing things isn't copywrite infringement.
And again, a human wrote this. These channels get permission from the creator of the stories before reading them the majority of the time.
Also, it's an AI scifi thumbnail for a RUclips video. You need to relax.
@@andypants1062
Lol...
You should have run with AI as an excuse for the poor writing
@@tkilley5248 Let's see your HFY story. I'll wait.
Just one word, excellent 👍👍
We all know what that dude is looking at.
Good story😂😂
Definitely a more unique spin put on the same old AI-generated story of 'everyone underestimates humanity - big bad military race challenges humanity while being super cocky and over confident - all other races scared of the militarists, and scared for humanity - somehow, humanity makes multi-millenial leaps forward in tech overnight (surprise, we had it all along! We just dont like to use it) and builds epic warships in days - humanity lets out the lion they keep caged within, trying to 'be better' yet humanity still ends up wiping out their foe after multiple please for peace and scares every other race - thus begins the intergalactic hegemony of the human empire, a backwater race a mere 10 years earlier!'
Like i said, at least this version tried to present and utilize somw different events and actions throughout. As it is, its a bit better - it would have been a lot better had the creator opted for a human reader rather than the AI voice reader mispronouncing even aimple words
I enjoyed this story thanks
I'm so glad!
These stories would be 10 times better if the ai voice dosnt suck so bad. The humans would be loosing so bad. Just omg.
Thats awesome. 😂
That was funny.
You really need to 1. Spell check, 2. Grammar check and then 3. Manually proofread your stories before handing them to a text to speech program. This is hideous.
For what it is worth, while hideous, this is perfection compared to some. It's still a human clicking the upload button. I'm always amazed that proof reading or running it by someone fluent in the language of the expected viewer isn't done ahead of time.
The AI kept me on my toes! LoL
Laughing the entire time!
No more f**ks to give! 😃😝
It's so funny, in these stories humanity is food. Look at current situations in our world. We wouldn't be praised. We would be avoided.😂
Yamamoto
Inner planetary or interplanetary?
POV you fucked up
Shitty ending
virgin author ending
Losing*
Nah they were going to riot for the life of the alien that destroyed earth? Who believes that sht😂😂😂😂
The AI reader absolutely sucks