“I’m Like A Receptionist For My Mind” - Steven Wright, After A Few Cups Of Coffee

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  • Опубликовано: 21 ноя 2024

Комментарии • 1,2 тыс.

  • @LisaKBradley
    @LisaKBradley 10 месяцев назад +281

    Some people don't know the difference they make. I was 17, driving cross country alone, scared and having a really bad day. When I finally got to a hotel, I turned on the TV. Steven Wright was on and I laughed and laughed... and felt so much better. Thank you for the joy!

    • @jhandle4196
      @jhandle4196 10 месяцев назад +5

      Since smiling causes serotonin to be released into one's brain, it makes you feel better even if you don't mean it.

    • @darlenelarochelle4011
      @darlenelarochelle4011 10 месяцев назад +2

      Glad you made that hotel on that trip! Found some "comfort food" to enjoy.
      May all your road trips go well in the future. 😊

    • @darlenelarochelle4011
      @darlenelarochelle4011 10 месяцев назад +4

      ​@@jhandle4196
      Yes. Act happy and you often end up actually happy. Usually turns out better to act happy than grouchy. Everyone else enjoys you more.

    • @nonayoung8177
      @nonayoung8177 9 месяцев назад +2

      that’s a very cool story

    • @rfichokeofdestiny
      @rfichokeofdestiny 5 месяцев назад

      I thought that was the beginning of a Steven Wright joke.

  • @alq2868
    @alq2868 10 месяцев назад +321

    “I’d kill for a Nobel Peace Prize”. A true genius and great guy.

  • @cheknfaks
    @cheknfaks 10 месяцев назад +170

    "I put spot remover on my dog and now he's gone" ..stuck in my head🤪

    • @beverlystewart1096
      @beverlystewart1096 10 месяцев назад +1

      I was just thinking that! And he would act like he was moving a chair and yell Go on through! Or pull his shirt out and yell I’ll be right in into his chest. Love him!

  • @ScottWorthington
    @ScottWorthington 10 месяцев назад +190

    "Everything is within walking distance ...
    If you have the time."

  • @bernr2877
    @bernr2877 10 месяцев назад +312

    One of the funniest comedians ever. Glad to see him still making this world a happier place!

    • @stefanschleps8758
      @stefanschleps8758 10 месяцев назад +23

      Master of the "deadpan delivery".

    • @harper7509
      @harper7509 10 месяцев назад

      FLUSH

    • @ianthesoccerref
      @ianthesoccerref 10 месяцев назад +11

      Wondering what the reaction from the band was for the "read music and listen to books."

    • @igorschmidlapp6987
      @igorschmidlapp6987 10 месяцев назад +3

      @@ianthesoccerref They reacted somehow, since he pointed to them. Made me curious, too.

    • @TheZotmeister
      @TheZotmeister 10 месяцев назад +2

      And smaller, bringing us together. ...Still wouldn't want to paint it, though.

  • @tomifost
    @tomifost 10 месяцев назад +130

    "Whenever I think of the past, it brings back so many memories."

    • @steve8918
      @steve8918 10 месяцев назад +12

      "I like to reminisce with people I don't know. Granted, it takes longer..."

    • @fatsuperfly
      @fatsuperfly 9 месяцев назад +1

      I always feels like he wants laugh,😂 it’s better to make jokes that you enjoy, ppl will follow. He’s hilarious, i started getting into him a few years ago. I love when he does interviews.

  • @lizardkyng
    @lizardkyng 10 месяцев назад +127

    My favorite Wright bit When I was a kid we had a sand box.....it was a quicksand box. I was an only child...eventually...

  • @pollyesther
    @pollyesther 10 месяцев назад +26

    What a fabulous segment! It's so lovely to see him again. There are far too many of his one-liners that I adore, but my all-time favourite might actually be:
    "I just bought a packet of powdered water, and I don't know what to add." 😆

  • @TimE-vj9bq
    @TimE-vj9bq 10 месяцев назад +54

    I love his joke about naming his dog stay....'come here, stay..'

    • @SouthCountyGal
      @SouthCountyGal 10 месяцев назад +3

      I'm fond of the one where he was going to walk his dog across the country, get back home and tell him "that's it, you're done." I think about it whenever I have to walk my dog in the rain.

  • @fredceely
    @fredceely 10 месяцев назад +147

    Wright is a genius. Here's another old favorite of mine: the other day I made instant coffee in a microwave oven. I almost went back in time.

    • @ravenwolf7128
      @ravenwolf7128 10 месяцев назад +3

      LOL

    • @abbyweinberg
      @abbyweinberg 10 месяцев назад +3

      Epic

    • @mdemers767
      @mdemers767 10 месяцев назад +2

      I think that might be my favorite of all time. It blows peoples' minds.

    • @leannsanford906
      @leannsanford906 10 месяцев назад

      One of mine too! I was going to post it, but saw yours ❤😂

    • @davidreidenberg9941
      @davidreidenberg9941 5 месяцев назад

      I bought used paint. It was in the shape of a house.

  • @sevenirises
    @sevenirises 10 месяцев назад +307

    It's so good to see Steven Wright again after all these years. Great comedian and always loved his sense of humor and timing. Can't wait to read his book.

    • @dresinss
      @dresinss 10 месяцев назад +6

      First off, my last name is severine so I thought we were related for a second...
      Totally watch Louis CKs Horace and Pete. It's about a dive bar that's been handed down through generations. A lot of the show is just the conversations between the regulars who come into the the bar. One of em is Steven Wright, who is always there drinking water that they pour out of a Jameson bottle. Then they do this episode where Horace and Pete basically play their parents back in the 70s. All the regulars are different, but Steven is still sitting at the end of the bar looking the same age.

    • @dresinss
      @dresinss 10 месяцев назад

      And Alan Alda plays an old school homophobe/racist... Must see.

    • @sevenirises
      @sevenirises 10 месяцев назад +3

      @@dresinss Thanks for that suggestion. I will watch it.

    • @SallyBrown-ss5xv
      @SallyBrown-ss5xv 10 месяцев назад +8

      He used to really crack me up before anyone else knew who he was. The deadpan delivery is classic.

    • @ComradeStiv
      @ComradeStiv 10 месяцев назад

      ​@@dresinss - Yes! A rare and _brilliant_ show. I forgot our guy was in it. Thanks for the reminder, I'm overdue for a rewatch.

  • @SouthCountyGal
    @SouthCountyGal 10 месяцев назад +55

    Everything that comes out of this man's mouth is brilliant. The best thing about his comedy is its intelligence; there is always a little pause after his delivery while the audience catches up.
    I've been a fan since I first heard him in the late '80s, and I never get tired of his material. He makes his audiences work -- between the mind contortions, philosophical deep thought exercises, and abdominal workout from laughing, you go home exhausted!

  • @PaulGuest911
    @PaulGuest911 10 месяцев назад +54

    What a spectacular person to give the Colbert Questionert! Please have him back for it, we need to KNOW Steven…

    • @oliviasimonich2386
      @oliviasimonich2386 10 месяцев назад +2

      Hadn't heard from him in years. So happy that he's still around. Loved his deadpan delivery. 3:07

  • @Girlinmanhattan
    @Girlinmanhattan 10 месяцев назад +33

    This is the first time in the history of watching Stephen Colbert that I immediately started to search for a book his guest came to promote.

  • @beatmydrum
    @beatmydrum 10 месяцев назад +145

    Steven Wright was my favorite male comedian of the 80’s and I’ve laughed that hard again watching this interview! Please have him on the show more often! 🙏🏽🙏🏽🤣🤣🤣

    • @EmpyreanLightASMR
      @EmpyreanLightASMR 10 месяцев назад +3

      There is a TON of his stuff on youtube, including amazing interviews with Craig Ferguson

  • @carlamalick6831
    @carlamalick6831 10 месяцев назад +46

    Such a pleasure to see Steven Wright on your show. Please invite him back.😊

  • @randyfisher5056
    @randyfisher5056 10 месяцев назад +78

    "If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried". Pure genius.

    • @dysamoria
      @dysamoria 7 месяцев назад

      That one was him? That has been stored in my head for decades and I thought it came from a comic.

    • @Svensk7119
      @Svensk7119 2 месяца назад

      That came from the book Murphy's Law. Steven Wright's was , "If at first you don't succeed, skydiving isn't for you."

  • @RandyHall324
    @RandyHall324 10 месяцев назад +22

    Actually got to see Steven Wright at Ding Ho's way back in the '80's - a true original and funny as hell.

    • @ammaleslie509
      @ammaleslie509 10 месяцев назад +2

      I used to live near the Ding Ho in Inman Square. They used to have comedy and live music at night. Never ate there but did hear bands play there.

  • @JP51ism
    @JP51ism 10 месяцев назад +36

    *"I like to skate on the other side of the ice.”*
    I'm glad to see him.

  • @radstar2185
    @radstar2185 10 месяцев назад +75

    I used to work at a fire hydrant factory, it was great but you couldn't park anywhere near the place

  • @spritals
    @spritals 10 месяцев назад +162

    What a great comedian! One liner that stuck with me, “Why do they call them apartments, when they build em all together?” 🤯 😂 🤣

    • @LazyIRanch
      @LazyIRanch 10 месяцев назад +17

      Also, why do we drive on Parkways, but we park in driveways?

    • @robspiess
      @robspiess 10 месяцев назад +16

      Both of those are Gallagher. Another funny 80s comedian:
      "Why do we call them 'buildings' when they're done building them. Oughta call 'em 'builts'."
      "Cargo goes by ship. A shipment goes by truck. You have a 'pair of panties', but just one 'bra'."
      "Why do they call it a 'TV set' when you only get one?"
      "Teacher said we were gonna learn to read, and our first word was 'big'. Oh boy! She put three letters on the chalkboard and said it was big. I said, 'hey, that's little'. She said, 'no, this is little' and wrote a word that was twice as big. I said to myself, 'this is gonna be hard...'"

    • @judywalton9381
      @judywalton9381 10 месяцев назад +14

      "I went to a restaurant that offered breakfast anytime. I ordered French toast in the Renaissance."

    • @luciamiller1555
      @luciamiller1555 10 месяцев назад +2

      That’s my FAVE: French toast in the renaissance 😂😂😂❤❤❤🎉🎉🎉

    • @spritals
      @spritals 9 месяцев назад

      @@luciamiller1555 yes!

  • @jayneneewing2369
    @jayneneewing2369 10 месяцев назад +73

    Love, just love Steven Wright. A fan for decades.

    • @markberryhill2715
      @markberryhill2715 10 месяцев назад +1

      I didn't know he was still alive. Turns out,he didn't either.

  • @donc4563
    @donc4563 10 месяцев назад +29

    Awesome to see comedy legend Steven Wright on Late Night! That voice and unique style, there’s no comparison. I still remember his one liners I heard in the 80s/90s. His jokes are timeless (or as Steven says “the present is a past factory” 😂)

  • @Davett53
    @Davett53 10 месяцев назад +34

    I love his surreal way of thinking.

    • @mdaddy775
      @mdaddy775 10 месяцев назад +3

      Surreal but still relatable and enjoyable for all ❤

    • @Davett53
      @Davett53 10 месяцев назад +2

      @@mdaddy775 Absolutely!

  • @paulferranti8536
    @paulferranti8536 10 месяцев назад +96

    “ There’s a fine line between fishing and standing on the shore like an idiot.”

  • @DMBaby427
    @DMBaby427 10 месяцев назад +107

    He needs to do the Colbert Questionnaire!!! The answers would be epic!

  • @carolz5090
    @carolz5090 10 месяцев назад +14

    Great how Stephen (ph balanced) adjusted his energy and pacing to Steven’s and leaned into the awkward pauses. Beautiful!

  • @PeeWeeWee
    @PeeWeeWee 10 месяцев назад +7

    I'm from the Netherlands, never heard from Steven Wright but surely I'm going to look for more content. His one liners are gold!

  • @EmpyreanLightASMR
    @EmpyreanLightASMR 10 месяцев назад +52

    You know how you know this man is a legend? Whenever a comedian comes on a late night show, people will write what the comedian said in the clip in the comments below. This is the first time I've seen people posting what someone's said for the past several decades. Amazing. One of the funniest comment sections ever, period. All written by Steven.

    • @mochachaiguy
      @mochachaiguy 9 месяцев назад +4

      Agreed! this is a great read... my eyes awe watering 🤣

    • @musiclover9361
      @musiclover9361 9 месяцев назад +3

      "My Grandma said, come here Steven: here's ten dollars and don't tell your mother. I said, it'll cost you more than that."
      Laugh? I thought I'd need an ambulance! 😂

  • @h7opolo
    @h7opolo 10 месяцев назад +45

    Omg, lmfao, that "electric chair" joke was delivered in the perfect deadpan manner mastered only by comedic legends of eras past.

  • @corysekine-pettite1783
    @corysekine-pettite1783 10 месяцев назад +19

    Life-long fan of Steven. He's a comedian's comedian. I just love the way his mind works.

  • @oznoz
    @oznoz 10 месяцев назад +16

    Best eight minutes of my year so far.
    Stephen gets Steven to really laugh twice, which is great, and Steven gets Stephen to laugh harder than I've seen for a loooong time.
    Gonna have to read that book now.

  • @TheOldHippiebilly
    @TheOldHippiebilly 10 месяцев назад +18

    "I think coffee is one of the best things about being alive." -- Wise words.
    Steven Wright has always been one of my favorite people-- truly a comic genius! ❤❤❤

  • @bretEdwards
    @bretEdwards 10 месяцев назад +325

    One of Wright's golden oldies: "Walked into a restaurant that had a sign saying, 'Breakfast any time.' So I ordered French toast during the renaissance."🤣

    • @cathyleatherman3097
      @cathyleatherman3097 10 месяцев назад +4

      Perfect !

    • @Mary-oc5ns
      @Mary-oc5ns 10 месяцев назад +2

      I remember it as French toast in the Middle Ages

    • @theodore6548
      @theodore6548 10 месяцев назад +4

      Memory is fallible. It was in fact "the Renaissance." @@Mary-oc5ns

    • @DanielHBuchmann
      @DanielHBuchmann 10 месяцев назад +4

      they stole that line in Swingers

    • @Have_A_Nice_Day242
      @Have_A_Nice_Day242 10 месяцев назад +10

      Why do we park in a driveway and drive in a parkway?

  • @asterix7842
    @asterix7842 10 месяцев назад +131

    “A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me. I’m afraid of widths.”
    - Steven Wright

    • @72marshflower15
      @72marshflower15 10 месяцев назад

      Another round of bread and circus..

    • @TriciaDeBary
      @TriciaDeBary 8 месяцев назад +1

      'I had a pony named Nikki!'

  • @chris...9497
    @chris...9497 10 месяцев назад +110

    Been a fan of Steven Wright for decades.
    Just now realizing how much I miss him.
    Remembering his joke about having been born Caesarian, how it hasn't affected him much, but that he always leaves a house through the window.

    • @luciamiller1555
      @luciamiller1555 10 месяцев назад +4

      I LOVE that 😂❤🎉😂❤🎉

    • @derekdbyrne7487
      @derekdbyrne7487 10 месяцев назад +2

      One of the lesser known jokes of his that I’ve long remembered as well. 👍🏽😂

    • @weary1
      @weary1 9 месяцев назад +1

      You make it sound like he has passed away. He is still very much alive and kicking.

    • @chris...9497
      @chris...9497 9 месяцев назад +1

      @@weary1 No, he's just fallen off my radar, and I had overlooked his absense in my life. Nothing to do with him, all my fault and definitely my loss. I'm glad I still have opportunity to appreciate him.

  • @simonbartolomeo8548
    @simonbartolomeo8548 10 месяцев назад +144

    “My uncle was a clown for the Ringling Brothers Circus, and when he died, all of his friends went to the funeral in one car.” - Steven Wright 🤣

  • @AvidCat5000
    @AvidCat5000 10 месяцев назад +86

    My favorite Steven Wright joke: "My grandfather once asked me how old I was. I told him I was 5. He said at your age I was 6. Then he cackled madly and threw a wooden spoon at the wall. He was an odd man."
    Genius.

  • @rkeithh5
    @rkeithh5 10 месяцев назад +23

    Have a few favorite one-liners of his, but one that sticks out is, "I just bought a cordless extension cord."

  • @hbailie9115
    @hbailie9115 10 месяцев назад +29

    I'll never forget when I saw him live & he was playing his guitar, and suddenly started bouncing the spotlight off it into the audience. Then deadpanned, "It didn't do that when I bought it." The level of intelligence to suddenly come up with things like that is astounding.

  • @staceydowns8682
    @staceydowns8682 10 месяцев назад +31

    He's brilliant. Hasn't lost his magic.

  • @ToilYTrouble
    @ToilYTrouble 10 месяцев назад +20

    My favorite from back in the day was when he said he put his car key in his house and drove it around for a little bit ….. so good

  • @wendelynanderson9517
    @wendelynanderson9517 10 месяцев назад +14

    I’ve been a Steve Wright fan since the 80s. Now hearing his view on coffee I love him even more.
    “Everything is within walking distance if you have the time.”

  • @marthabussell1848
    @marthabussell1848 10 месяцев назад +38

    My favorite Steven Wright, "I used to make ice cubes, but I lost the recipe."

    • @jimmyjam-vc6rf
      @jimmyjam-vc6rf 6 месяцев назад

      I bought some powdered water but I don't know what to mix it with

  • @wandamundy1759
    @wandamundy1759 10 месяцев назад +308

    Steven Wright: "You can't have everything. Where would you put it ?"

    • @yogab
      @yogab 10 месяцев назад +12

      Oh man, I love that joke! Didn’t know that was him that said that! What a legend!

    • @MonkeyJedi99
      @MonkeyJedi99 10 месяцев назад +12

      @@yogab one that has stuck with me is, "I have a map of the United States... Actual size. It says, 'Scale: 1 mile = 1 mile.'"

    • @Grace1957-
      @Grace1957- 10 месяцев назад +11

      What do you add to instant water.

    • @rorajoey
      @rorajoey 10 месяцев назад +16

      "I have the world's largest collection of seashells. I keep it on all the beaches of the world... perhaps you've seen it."

    • @beenaplumber8379
      @beenaplumber8379 10 месяцев назад +8

      After seeing Steven Wright in the 80s I bought a decaffeinated coffee table.

  • @laalaa99stl
    @laalaa99stl 10 месяцев назад +481

    For some reason, the Steven Wright joke I remember even after all these years is the bit where he has this cute dental hygienist and, to prepare for his cleaning, eats an entire bag of Oreo cookies.

    • @thewriteplaceforme6874
      @thewriteplaceforme6874 10 месяцев назад +8

      Did that get turned into a scene in Seinfeld?

    • @Chucanelli
      @Chucanelli 10 месяцев назад +87

      I love that one! The one that stuck with me is “Everywhere is within walking distance if you’ve got the time.”

    • @thebagelsproductions
      @thebagelsproductions 10 месяцев назад +73

      "One time my grandmother gave me 5 dollars and said 'don't tell your parents' " - "I said 'that'll cost ya more than 5 dollars ' "

    • @anneahlert2997
      @anneahlert2997 10 месяцев назад +68

      "If you're driving at the speed of light... And you turn your headlights on... Will they do anything?"

    • @TheRealMrNixon
      @TheRealMrNixon 10 месяцев назад +72

      Someone broke into my apartment and replaced everything with exact replicas.

  • @HopskotchBunny
    @HopskotchBunny 10 месяцев назад +12

    It’s so much fun to see him again. I’d forgotten how funny he is. I always enjoyed his distinct sense of humor. What a fascinating mind he has.

  • @charliekopp443
    @charliekopp443 10 месяцев назад +81

    0ne Steven Wright joke that sticks with me is: “I think it’s wrong that only one company sells Monopoly”.

  • @verified.my2cents
    @verified.my2cents 10 месяцев назад +288

    A national treasure..."I was sad because I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no feet. So I said, "Got any shoes you’re not using?"

    • @madnessbydesignVria
      @madnessbydesignVria 10 месяцев назад +8

      CLASSIC! :)

    • @vickiep4217
      @vickiep4217 10 месяцев назад +9

      Similar to a joke I once heard a doctor telling ( in a pub, after a few drinks!)...
      The doctor sees his patient on his round. "Mr Jones, I have bad news and good news"
      "Give me the bad news first"
      "We amputated the wrong foot first, but still had to remove your other one I'm afraid"
      "Oh my god. What possible good news could there be?"
      "The guy in the next bed wants to buy all your shoes".

    • @sungear
      @sungear 9 месяцев назад +3

      I haven't heard that one and it's great.
      It's especially good because it doesn't require perfect delivery, it's funny all by itself.

    • @johnsrabe
      @johnsrabe 9 месяцев назад +5

      Before you criticize a man, you should walk a mile in his moccasins. That way you’ll be a mile away, and he can’t chase you because he won’t have any shoes.

  • @sv8911
    @sv8911 10 месяцев назад +14

    Pleasure to see you, Steven Wright. Thank you, Stephen Colbert.

  • @BB-nu3vd
    @BB-nu3vd 10 месяцев назад +18

    I love the way his mind works. He’s been a favorite since I was a teenager.

  • @samludu5916
    @samludu5916 10 месяцев назад +78

    One of my favorite mindbending "jokes"of his: "What's another word for thesaurus?"

    • @marshalbaek5580
      @marshalbaek5580 10 месяцев назад

      Ahahaha! So fricken clever!

    • @72marshflower15
      @72marshflower15 10 месяцев назад

      American media is a psyop..
      It’s low IQ escapism..

    • @DKMKartha108
      @DKMKartha108 9 месяцев назад +2

      What about: "is there a synonym for synonym ?

  • @BraceDeville
    @BraceDeville 10 месяцев назад +9

    Making Steven Wright laugh has to be an amazing feeling as a comic.

  • @Sharonmxg
    @Sharonmxg 10 месяцев назад +37

    I have been laughing at Steven Wright's one-liners nearly my whole life. I was in high school when he hit the scene. I honestly did not know he was still around. No new stand-up for quite a while. But the dude has a brain that makes me laugh all. the. time. I guess I will be purchasing the audio book.!

    • @donmoore7785
      @donmoore7785 10 месяцев назад +2

      Hearing him deliver the text would be a must-have.

    • @jamesmcinnis208
      @jamesmcinnis208 10 месяцев назад

      "honestly"

  • @LowskBowski
    @LowskBowski 10 месяцев назад +62

    I had the the honor of seeing Steven and Mitch Hedburg perform in the same night.

  • @mklcolvin
    @mklcolvin 10 месяцев назад +10

    I've always loved Steven Wright - his delivery is SO spot-on, and he's so funny!

  • @56nickrich
    @56nickrich 10 месяцев назад +17

    I'm pretty sure I caught that episode of Carson when Steven Wright made his TV debut in 82. He's kept me laughing with every joke he tells.😂👍

  • @elizabeth9134
    @elizabeth9134 10 месяцев назад +19

    Have loved Steven Wright since the 80s! First time I saw him at Melody Fair in Buffalo!

  • @bunkee2009
    @bunkee2009 10 месяцев назад +106

    Pay Attention Grasshoppers, This is How to Be an Outstanding Comedian Without Offending Anyone! Thank You Steven Wright!

    • @canadaclaret
      @canadaclaret 10 месяцев назад +6

      I am sure some Jesus lovers would find offence.

    • @madnessbydesignVria
      @madnessbydesignVria 10 месяцев назад +3

      @@canadaclaret I'm Christian, and I thought it was pretty funny... :)

    • @canadaclaret
      @canadaclaret 10 месяцев назад +2

      @@madnessbydesignVria Stephen is Christian, too. He's Catholic, which is like O.G. Christian. I didn't say they would all be offended, just some. The self-righteous holier than thou types. You know the kind that are all anti-gay but usually secretly gay. The kind that take offence to show how upright they are. It's a good joke and most people would agree. I'm just responding to the idea that nobody would be offended by Wright, which I think might be an over-statement.

    • @madnessbydesignVria
      @madnessbydesignVria 10 месяцев назад +5

      @@canadaclaret Oh, I understand. And I agree that the most 'offended' are typically the most guilty. I just like to remind people that not all of us are self-righteous douchebags, screaming about "God hates X". Some of us actually enjoy a good joke... :)

  • @rikkiechambers4959
    @rikkiechambers4959 10 месяцев назад +27

    Always enjoyed his humor !! Great to see him again!

  • @guyrose6602
    @guyrose6602 10 месяцев назад +159

    "99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name" - Steven Wright

    • @bretEdwards
      @bretEdwards 8 месяцев назад +1

      OMG🤣.KILLING ME that is comedy genius

    • @DonVideoGuy007
      @DonVideoGuy007 8 месяцев назад +2

      @guyrose6602 - My brother is a lawyer and likes all of Steven's jokes, except for the one you just quoted 😂🤣. Steven's non sequitur line of dark humor: "I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize" always amuses me because of it's absurdity.

  • @hwelch2
    @hwelch2 10 месяцев назад +28

    Thank you for this, it's magic! I'm still smiling and it's like I'm watching Stephen achieve a "bucket list" item that he never thought possible. I could listen to the "riffing off" of jokes back and forth for hours.

  • @MemoryGray
    @MemoryGray 10 месяцев назад +21

    “The present is a past factory.”
    👍🤣✌️

    • @worthless_opinion
      @worthless_opinion 10 месяцев назад +3

      Flew right over the audience's head.

    • @MemoryGray
      @MemoryGray 10 месяцев назад +3

      @@worthless_opinionIt sold at least one copy of the book.
      👍📖🤣

    • @ammaleslie509
      @ammaleslie509 10 месяцев назад +2

      That may be the most thought provoking SW joke I have ever heard and that is really saying something

    • @kenwittlief255
      @kenwittlief255 4 месяца назад

      it took me 20 minutes to figure out what that means

  • @andrewvelonis5940
    @andrewvelonis5940 10 месяцев назад +43

    I watch this on RUclips over breakfast. I was just about to take a sip of coffee when he said "I like to read music and listen to books." My hand just stopped while picking up the mug and I froze with it half way to my mouth and stayed that way for a full five seconds.

    • @amusicment4829
      @amusicment4829 10 месяцев назад +5

      Yes, great mind 😊

    • @ammaleslie509
      @ammaleslie509 10 месяцев назад +3

      That one got me too. I just froze in contemplation for a while

  • @FurtiveSkeptical
    @FurtiveSkeptical 10 месяцев назад +150

    "Ever get that feeling where you lean back in your chair, and you feel like you're almost gonna fall over?..."
    " I feel that way all the time."
    -Steven Wright

    • @markherring3513
      @markherring3513 10 месяцев назад +6

      By wearing two different thicknesses of socks at the same time

    • @774kblake
      @774kblake 10 месяцев назад +6

      That's one of my all time favorites- here's another one; "Some people are afraid of heights...I'm afraid of widths!"

    • @markherring3513
      @markherring3513 10 месяцев назад +8

      @@774kblake I went to the store to buy a shirt...the sales lady asked me what size I wear..I said extra medium.

    • @bettyriley7295
      @bettyriley7295 10 месяцев назад +3

      That is precisely the way that I feel whenever I smoke weed.

    • @FurtiveSkeptical
      @FurtiveSkeptical 10 месяцев назад +5

      @@markherring3513"I think I'm having a case of Deja Vu and amnesia all at the same time..."

  • @27TacitusKilgore
    @27TacitusKilgore 10 месяцев назад +17

    Even in conversation, everything Mr. Wright says is funny.🤣🤣🤣🤣

  • @kilroy987
    @kilroy987 10 месяцев назад +41

    "I went to the museum where they had all the heads and arms from the statues that are in all the other museums."

  • @ksrt2654
    @ksrt2654 10 месяцев назад +144

    I’ve rarely seen Stephen laugh as hard as he at that Jesus joke.

    • @mj8495
      @mj8495 10 месяцев назад +10

      Jesus only loves you because he doesn't know you 😂

    • @masterofallgoons
      @masterofallgoons 10 месяцев назад +15

      He laughed so hard he choked. Thats no small feat.

    • @RagtimeAnnie
      @RagtimeAnnie 10 месяцев назад +7

      That WAS "Comedy Gold" right there - Loved it.

    • @rhymeswithsomethingy4766
      @rhymeswithsomethingy4766 10 месяцев назад +4

      As a Catholic, he couldn't help himself 😂🤣

    • @masterofallgoons
      @masterofallgoons 10 месяцев назад +2

      @@markconforti7614 - he meant Colbert (hence the 'ph') but Steven Wright also laughed quite a bit in his recent interview/podcast with Bill Burr . Another one worth checking out.

  • @kellyjohnson3617
    @kellyjohnson3617 10 месяцев назад +11

    Steven wright is a national treasure. Never been and doubtful there ever will be a comic genius like him. His deadpan delivery I’ve never seen with the possible exception of buster keaton. But buster keaton didn’t use words. Steven wright uses sets ups, deadpan delivery AND words. Just a plain old funny guy

  • @cheknfaks
    @cheknfaks 10 месяцев назад +20

    Steven Wright was one of my favs back in the 80s for many years into the 90s, along w Gallagher. Both their humor, different styles but was next level genius. Constant roaring laughter nonstop would have my jaw sore afterwards. Their comedy goes in the all time highest category hall of fame.

  • @the_failed_states
    @the_failed_states 10 месяцев назад +61

    The Steven Wright jokes that stuck with me:
    There is a light switch in my apartment that doesn't do anything. I was flicking it on and off the. I got a call from a woman in Germany telling me to cut it out.
    My house is powered by static electricity. When I want to make toast I have to rub a ballon on my jumper.

    • @steve8918
      @steve8918 10 месяцев назад +5

      I use that first one on people all the time, and they think I'm being serious until I get to the punch line. My wife rolls her eyes every time I start telling it.

    • @geekishgir
      @geekishgir 10 месяцев назад +6

      This is the one I remember the most as well!

  • @pizzaishappiness7994
    @pizzaishappiness7994 10 месяцев назад +11

    Two Stevens do make a Wright. 😂

  • @edwardlulofs444
    @edwardlulofs444 10 месяцев назад +6

    I have watched him since the 80s.
    He’s still got it.
    He still makes people laugh.
    Wonderful!

  • @dadisaliveandwell
    @dadisaliveandwell 10 месяцев назад +4

    Had not seen Wright in a long time. He is sssssssooooo funny! We need him more!! Absurdity rules!

  • @stephenswaim
    @stephenswaim 10 месяцев назад +4

    I rarely watch the interviews. This one I couldn't miss.

  • @robstimson4234
    @robstimson4234 10 месяцев назад +111

    ' l bought a humidifier and a dehumidifier and put them in my living room. Figured l'd let them duke it out.' A master of the absurd!

    • @abbyweinberg
      @abbyweinberg 10 месяцев назад +2

      Classic

    • @silentjay01
      @silentjay01 10 месяцев назад +1

      This one was one of my dad's all-time favorite jokes by any comedian.

    • @pywaketpilot
      @pywaketpilot 10 месяцев назад +2

      "I added wax to the humidifier, and now my room is all shiny".

    • @phorestpsy
      @phorestpsy 9 месяцев назад +3

      ive actually done this... but they had thermohygrometers so the humidifier would go on when it dropped below 40 percent. And the dehumidifier when it went above 45. Was for regulating my reptile room, but nonetheless I did find humor in the notion of running two devices that perform an opposite function

    • @robstimson4234
      @robstimson4234 9 месяцев назад +1

      @@phorestpsy My neighbor, Bryan Suson, has a mess of reptile rooms.

  • @jamesdakis826
    @jamesdakis826 10 месяцев назад +33

    Steven Wright is a comic genius. "I'm going to get a full-body tattoo...only taller."

  • @jonny-b4954
    @jonny-b4954 10 месяцев назад +25

    I love Stephen Wright. Dude is so on point. We saw him live about 15-20 years ago. Such a funny night.

    • @dupersuper1938
      @dupersuper1938 10 месяцев назад +6

      I prefer Steven Wright...

    • @plev10
      @plev10 10 месяцев назад +1

      @jonny-b4954 I'm so jealous you got to see Steven for 5 years!

    • @steve8918
      @steve8918 10 месяцев назад

      I've gotten to see him a couple times in person. One time, I was so tired that I was dozing off in the front row, and I was surprised he didn't see me and start giving me a bad time.

    • @jonny-b4954
      @jonny-b4954 10 месяцев назад

      Hah it's a joke. They talked about it in this clip ha@@dupersuper1938

  • @EricPerson
    @EricPerson 10 месяцев назад +17

    Needed a double segment on Wright - most underrated comedian of my lifetime. And I'm almost as old as Stephen!

  • @depp5601
    @depp5601 10 месяцев назад +5

    I saw his first appearance on Carson. I was in high school and just loved Mr. Wright from the get go. I even remember part of his set, I'll never forget. I have enjoyed his work ever since and he has just gotten better with time.

  • @amusicment4829
    @amusicment4829 10 месяцев назад +8

    What a mind! Love Steven Wright.

  • @travis_thompson
    @travis_thompson 10 месяцев назад +78

    " I told my girlfriend I was going out, she asked for how long, I said the whole time"

  • @hahamasala
    @hahamasala 10 месяцев назад +27

    My quote is "history keeps getting longer."

  • @JaynieBoBaynie
    @JaynieBoBaynie 10 месяцев назад +9

    If I had a spirit animal, it would be Steven Wright. I adore him.

  • @wakygee
    @wakygee 10 месяцев назад +58

    I hope he drinks a lot more coffee, writes another book, and is back on the show really soon

  • @85jongo
    @85jongo 10 месяцев назад +22

    LEGEND

  • @iseewhatyoudidthere1245
    @iseewhatyoudidthere1245 10 месяцев назад +56

    "I have a sea shell collection. I keep it scattered all over the beaches of the world." 😄

  • @d-not_telling
    @d-not_telling 10 месяцев назад +43

    “I like to tease my plants. I water them with ice cubes”

    • @Hukkinen
      @Hukkinen 8 месяцев назад

      This is a good trick in practice too, if the plant soil is dry and you need to slow it down to let it soak in rather than fall straight through to the table ruining it

  • @EwokPanda
    @EwokPanda 10 месяцев назад +108

    That "electric" bit is the first time I've uncontrollably laughed out loud in front of my computer in a long time.

    • @davidthomson1529
      @davidthomson1529 10 месяцев назад +5

      Same.

    • @jpdemer5
      @jpdemer5 10 месяцев назад +23

      And a few minutes later, it happened again: "Jesus loves you ... because he doesn't know you."

    • @jeffschoening7049
      @jeffschoening7049 10 месяцев назад +2

      Same here

    • @drzarkov39
      @drzarkov39 10 месяцев назад +1

      I heard the electric chair bit years ago by Henry Youngman.

    • @katiethien3900
      @katiethien3900 10 месяцев назад +1

      Wright has always been brilliant!

  • @TerlinguaTalkeetna
    @TerlinguaTalkeetna 10 месяцев назад +4

    I am old enough to remember seeing Steven on the Carson show for the first time. He was then and now a unique and singular talent in a very crowded field of want a be's. Harold is my next book purchase. Love from the desert to both Stevens!

  • @janlee6455
    @janlee6455 10 месяцев назад +7

    I agree...my morning coffee...gives me a reason to get up...love, love, love it !!!!!

  • @colsonbarnhart9086
    @colsonbarnhart9086 10 месяцев назад +39

    "I got a paranoid golden retriever, he brings back everything cause he isn't sure what I threw."

  • @askingwhy123
    @askingwhy123 10 месяцев назад +115

    "It's a shame that whole families can be torn apart by something as simple as wild dogs."

    • @globdrop
      @globdrop 9 месяцев назад

      Hahahahaha

    • @peeweespanties
      @peeweespanties 9 месяцев назад +2

      That's Jack Handey, one of his Deep Thoughts.

    • @cc1k435
      @cc1k435 5 месяцев назад

      Definitely Jack Handy, but I see how you got there. 😂😂

  • @ComaDave
    @ComaDave 10 месяцев назад +263

    "I stayed up late last night, playing poker with Tarot cards.
    I got a full house and four people died."

    • @tr7b410
      @tr7b410 10 месяцев назад +10

      Brilliant

    • @chris...9497
      @chris...9497 10 месяцев назад +4

      I remember hearing that one when it was fresh!

  • @longjohn526
    @longjohn526 10 месяцев назад +47

    No one thinks like Steven Wright, he's just on a whole other plane of existence from the rest of us

  • @michaelkirk9870
    @michaelkirk9870 10 месяцев назад +3

    BRILLIANT man, Steven Wright.

  • @hollylewis5302
    @hollylewis5302 10 месяцев назад +5

    Steven Wright = BRILLIANCE! I'm so glad to know he is still around. I'll never forget his jokes! Unique brain! AI will never match him! xo

  • @TheWorld_2099
    @TheWorld_2099 10 месяцев назад +261

    “Jesus loves you because he doesn’t know you”
    That is the single greatest punchline in history.

    • @ChubbyUnicorn
      @ChubbyUnicorn 10 месяцев назад +2

      That Korean father is straight up savage.

    • @DynaGirl2000
      @DynaGirl2000 10 месяцев назад +5

      I’d buy that bumper sticker.

    • @TheWorld_2099
      @TheWorld_2099 10 месяцев назад +2

      @@DynaGirl2000 for sure..!

    • @TheWorld_2099
      @TheWorld_2099 10 месяцев назад +1

      @@ChubbyUnicorn 😂

    • @rhaegarrubey4488
      @rhaegarrubey4488 10 месяцев назад +1

      I enjoyed the entire interview, but that one made me laugh 😂

  • @lindaburger2695
    @lindaburger2695 10 месяцев назад +18

    I still remember Steven Wright's debut. I laughed so much I had tears.

    • @ianthesoccerref
      @ianthesoccerref 10 месяцев назад +2

      I just went and found that Johnny Carson debut. Absolutely wonderful. He's been blowing people's minds ever since.
      "Jesus loves you because he doesn't know you."
      Stephen got wrecked🤣🤣

    • @steve8918
      @steve8918 10 месяцев назад

      In high school when his HBO special first came out, a classmate had seen it, and was telling a friend and I all the one liners, and we were laughing so hard at the jokes themselves, even without his delivery.

  • @rays2794
    @rays2794 10 месяцев назад +9

    I haven’t heard from this guy in over 20 years, but his jokes were hilarious i still remember a half a dozen of them off the top of my head.

    • @vladpadowicz5946
      @vladpadowicz5946 8 месяцев назад +1

      The top of your head is weird place to have your brain ... I remember things from the inside of my head 😏

    • @rays2794
      @rays2794 8 месяцев назад +1

      @@vladpadowicz5946 yeah, idioms are funny that way, not meant to be taken literally, yet everyone understands what they mean.