#TheLoveHour

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  • Опубликовано: 7 сен 2024

Комментарии • 140

  • @jois6939
    @jois6939 3 года назад +100

    I hate that Melissa feels like this show hasn't lived up to her standard because it has certainly made me feel seen, felt, and heard. I get it though because I can identify with her SO much

    • @jessicacolon5265
      @jessicacolon5265 3 года назад +5

      BIG FACTS!!! I have learned so much about relationships, marriage and myself through this podcast. It has forced me to look at parenting differently and even encouraged me to start therapy.

    • @aisha9137
      @aisha9137 3 года назад

      Facts!

    • @mobmissesfinest
      @mobmissesfinest 3 года назад

      Triple facts!

  • @shevonteg
    @shevonteg 3 года назад +65

    When y’all laugh together ... y’all be giving big marriage goals vibes

  • @sweetjuly6246
    @sweetjuly6246 3 года назад +62

    I love that this podcast is just regular people not doctors or counselors. Melissa just gives the info and her experience which is relatable and doesn’t feel like a disconnected lecture. I can listen and learn without feeling weighed down.

    • @jccanteen
      @jccanteen 3 года назад +5

      This is a very interesting perspective. Thank you! I’m a licensed therapist and this comment made me reflect on my interactions and whether I make people feel this way... lectured to and weighed down with information.

    • @sweetjuly6246
      @sweetjuly6246 3 года назад +3

      @@jccanteen ❤️ in this format it can feel this way. An intimate face to face conversation is a different experience as it should be. I usually watch the love hour while I’m working and can’t take information overload. I just wanna laugh a little but I learn something about myself at the same time. Keep doing your thing sis!

    • @tinekarice6628
      @tinekarice6628 3 года назад +4

      @@jccanteen I too am a therapist and had a similar thought. I appreciate Sweet's July's response.

    • @ms.holmes9368
      @ms.holmes9368 3 года назад

      Absolutely 🤎

  • @wjl820
    @wjl820 3 года назад +94

    If you're reading this, hope you have a blessed day! 🔥✊🏾

  • @nonyab916
    @nonyab916 3 года назад +20

    Whew that last distortion hit home! Sacrificing yourself and being a martyr is the very basis of Christianity. You endure suffering until you die and reap your reward in heaven like Jesus did. The mantra that helped me is “I release the belief I have to suffer to be of service.”
    When you grow you start to understand biblical principles aren’t black and white and you have to use discernment. Sometimes you’re suffering not because of God but because of your (or other people’s) worldly choices. God didn’t put us here just to suffer and die; Jesus already paid that price for us.

    • @kwamebohulu6975
      @kwamebohulu6975 3 года назад +1

      The last distortion is hard for most Christians because we assume that the blessings that the Lord wants for us are material in nature. In actuality though, they can only be spiritual in nature, because spiritual stuff is the only that that will remain after death. Of course the Lord desires that we also have nice things, there our necessary for our lives in this world and this world only.

  • @alexis25
    @alexis25 3 года назад +21

    Kev simply adores Liss. It’s just the way he always leans into her like she’s his safe place. #WifeGoals Love to see it 😍

  • @IAMBIANCABROWN_
    @IAMBIANCABROWN_ 3 года назад +22

    Melissa is gorgeous and always popping!

  • @TheMassagequeen001
    @TheMassagequeen001 3 года назад +45

    Another thing people love to say is "When someone shows you who they are, believe them" and that doesn't always allow grace or give them an opportunity to grow.

    • @kernaishaxoxo
      @kernaishaxoxo 3 года назад +23

      I feel like it’s more so believe who that person is presenting themselves as, if later on they present themselves differently then you go from there.

    • @genessadixon2645
      @genessadixon2645 3 года назад +11

      Accepting someone for the person that they present themselves to be is grace. Not trying to change and loving someone because of your distaste or liking of their characteristics is grace. Your interest and admiration towards someone despite their short comings from your perspective is grace.

    • @micahbinns2740
      @micahbinns2740 3 года назад

      You are right, that's why I always drop ppl...I may be cordial, but I never need to associate with these ppl.

    • @Chastidee
      @Chastidee 3 года назад

      @@kernaishaxoxo Yes.

  • @midnite4ever
    @midnite4ever 3 года назад +18

    Look Lissa! My therapy appointment is every other Tuesday! What I don’t need is you, not only identifying my issues and explaining them in a way that makes me ask why I never saw them before, but also making me hear almost the exact words my therapist has been saying to me and wonder how tf I missed her point!
    Damn...
    Where do I CashApp your hourly rate?

  • @jmeiahb2608
    @jmeiahb2608 3 года назад +81

    Melissa is so beautiful ❤️

    • @tporter6495
      @tporter6495 3 года назад +3

      Ain't she! 💕 I'm inspired by this makeup look. I'm going to try it for my anniversary weekend

    • @jmeiahb2608
      @jmeiahb2608 3 года назад +1

      @@tporter6495 go head! 👏🏾👏🏾❤️🥰

    • @Nic2Blk
      @Nic2Blk 3 года назад

      I was JUST thinking the same!
      As I came to click like this comment is the first one I see lol.

  • @kernaishaxoxo
    @kernaishaxoxo 3 года назад +21

    This thumbnail😂 if it’s one thing about Kev, he gone do something funny for no reason.

  • @Jaygirlaa5
    @Jaygirlaa5 3 года назад +5

    Just to throw this out there: Melissa, you are a beautiful woman as we always see it, but you look ABSOLUTELY STUNNING in this video! SLAYED for DAYS!

  • @TheDeaconess
    @TheDeaconess 3 года назад +5

    Wait.... At 6:24 Did Kev say "my mom never doo dood. I cannot prove she ever doo dood." What?! I am literally crying from laughter!

  • @christianwatkins7185
    @christianwatkins7185 3 года назад +23

    Thank you for this episode! I just came to the realization the other day that somehow I lost my voice and I felt like I couldn't open up to anybody. This episode just helped me realize going back to my childhood I can see instances where I tried to open up and speak out, but I got shut down or ignored. So I think from then on I've internalized that if I open up and express myself, then people won't care or ignore it. Man this episode was a whole therapy session 😭😭

    • @joannasaadati8810
      @joannasaadati8810 3 года назад +3

      That's an amazing realization! So many things that we do as adults really come from a childs state of mind and emotional maturity.

    • @ericafielder8134
      @ericafielder8134 3 года назад +2

      Me too. I internalize alot qnd very reserved. I just had a convo with hubby about it because I don't express fully in my marriage. He does and i don't want to become resentful. Being single for a long time I never focused on it but in a marriage it forces me to do things way different. Liss is me and I am her. I relate alot.

  • @jccanteen
    @jccanteen 3 года назад +3

    Cognitive distortions are faulty thinking patterns that disrupt mood, perception, behavior and social interactions. They literally distort how you interpret experiences. There are actually 15 common distortions that we’re all guilty of at one point or another.
    The first step is learning them all to develop awareness of their occurrence.
    The second step is learning how to challenge this biased thinking. Different strategies apply to each distortion. The process of challenging cognitive distortions is called cognitive restructuring or cognitive reframing.

  • @nonyab916
    @nonyab916 3 года назад +15

    Triggers aren’t always bad, they just are what they are. Triggers are meant to alarm you of a problem. Being erased is a problem and should absolutely trigger you to respond in a way that protects you.
    The problem is the internalizing of what it means about you. Somebody not seeing you doesn’t mean you’re forgettable, it means the other person has an issue with their vision. That’s where knowing your self-worth comes in. If someone doesn’t see you they’re the ones with the problem, not you.
    A “that was me” from your sister would have been appropriate. Take credit for what’s yours.

  • @melissa8580
    @melissa8580 3 года назад +2

    As a person with BPD (Borderline personality disorder)... cognitive distortions of all kinds of varieties are part of my every waking hour. Raising a child with profound anxiety that leads to her catastrophizing everything (the two feeding into each other) it has been interesting and a battle to learn + teach how to control/alter ones mind-state. There are lots of DBT techniques that can help. Takes a lot of insight and practice but once your able to work through it it’s totally worth it and will change how you interact with the world and relationships around you.

  • @lynnderelli
    @lynnderelli 3 года назад +8

    She was always in the FBI this whole time 😂

  • @Dina8485
    @Dina8485 3 года назад +9

    My therapist literally sent me this list on Friday so I could look at the jumping to conclusions part 🥴

  • @alethiajacobs8066
    @alethiajacobs8066 3 года назад +3

    Melissa, have you thought about becoming a Licensed Professional Counselor? I have observed how you really enjoy the field and very passionate about it and smart! I ask you this as I am a Counselor who is in the process of obtaining my license. You have a lot to offer, because you are a natural ❤️ I always enjoy your insight! One of the ways I rid distorted thinking (cognitive distortion) is replacing them immediately with a positive thought and/or combatting the thoughts with what is factual from what is made up in my own distorted thoughts . Also, you should check out “The Feeling Good Handbook” by David Burns. He has some good activities on processing cognitive distortions.

  • @lishason89
    @lishason89 3 года назад +9

    I also learned about cognitive distortions in therapy, I was like wow I do a lot of these lol

    • @JM-qg9bo
      @JM-qg9bo 3 года назад +1

      I love Melissa, because👏 she👏 does👏 the👏 work👏 okay👏! She comes with terms and facts that many didn't know about. I never heard of cognitive distortions, but I'm here for the lesson!

  • @joannasaadati8810
    @joannasaadati8810 3 года назад +4

    Seriously Melissa every episode hits home, you do an amazing job and I've never felt like I wasted an hour tuning in. Also I love that Kev is there to make it more relatable for the men because I've played clips for my husband and it's made him think about things that I can't reach him on. You guys are amazing ❤️🙏 stay blessed

  • @iyinoluwao3393
    @iyinoluwao3393 3 года назад +2

    As one of the only women, and one of only two black women in an engineering degree , I definitely internalised this same thing for the first few years and I'm always shocked when male engineers actually acknowledge me and give me my credit, and not as an afterthought.

  • @zthomas99
    @zthomas99 3 года назад +3

    Ima need Liss to go ahead and get her doctorate in psychology.

  • @adri1alicia
    @adri1alicia 3 года назад +10

    Can y’all do an Enneagram episode?I’d love to know what your types are and hear whatever revelations y’all get after you do the test! My guess is that Kev is a type 3 and Liss is a 1 lol, but it would be a great episode to watch! 💕

    • @toyaleedaniels
      @toyaleedaniels 3 года назад

      I think he’s a 3 as well. All the Taurus ♉️ men I know are 3s.

  • @TheMissdgwim
    @TheMissdgwim 3 года назад +1

    This is soooo good Melissa!! Being “dismissed” is a trigger for me too. Giving credit to others as well!

  • @Amber_AB_Boyd
    @Amber_AB_Boyd 3 года назад +1

    These thinking errors should be taught. As a school counselor I always brings these distortions to the light. If we learn early we become more assessable towards wholeness as adults

  • @jakouriuscorbin524
    @jakouriuscorbin524 3 года назад +1

    I just came to say i really resonated with this episode. You talking about subjects like this allows me to grow and have healthy conversations with my significant other. Yall are highly appreciated ❤️❤️❤️

  • @kford5730
    @kford5730 3 года назад +5

    Good job Melissa I really liked this commentary, girl you need your Psyche Degree at this point.

  • @Passion84GodAlways
    @Passion84GodAlways 3 года назад +9

    (As always) a great episode 💎💎 but OH-TO-THA-WEEEEE I was NOT ready to find out that I have to work on correcting MULTIPLE cognitive distortions! 😩😫
    THANK YOU CAT JAMES for giving us the link on how to correct this during the live filming of this episode! 🙌🏾🙌🏾
    #CaptivatedStageWingBooRyder📸️🎬👼🏾🦋🚘

  • @UZIMADanceFitness
    @UZIMADanceFitness 3 года назад +1

    I always learn so much from Liss! I know enough now to sit down to watch y'all with my pen and notebook! Thank you!

  • @glois80
    @glois80 3 года назад

    I love how you guys are showing great example of how to help each other with listening, honesty as a couple

  • @rainyskys79able
    @rainyskys79able 3 года назад +1

    Listen the way Melissa just read me BOOK! CHAPTER AND VERSE! at @43:37 We are each other chile! That is me to the max! Big "What did I do wrong? What's wrong with me" Energy! Liss just set me free #LisSavedMyLife

  • @LadyMO488
    @LadyMO488 3 года назад +5

    #PayTeachersMore

  • @tanierraj2143
    @tanierraj2143 3 года назад +2

    The last one is tough. I think when you look at prosperity gospel it says "I do good, I get good or I sacrifice God will reward me". Jesus was good and did a lot if good, but had to go to the cross and struggle. If we look at the life of Jesus he suffered yes, but it wasn't so that he could get something. It was because he was the ONLY one that could AND knew we couldn't.

  • @meluvself
    @meluvself 3 года назад +2

    Kev Need to take naps lol

  • @Oone2023
    @Oone2023 3 года назад +6

    Melissaaaaa 😭😭😭😭 this was so so so great. So so so relatable. Thank you for sharing!

  • @garrytroxlerjr7030
    @garrytroxlerjr7030 3 года назад +2

    Keep these comin’...salute from NC....

  • @Bcrumbs
    @Bcrumbs 3 года назад +3

    This whole episode is what my therapist has been talking with me about for the past 4 months ... some days I feel like I have all of the cognitive distortions

  • @HelloMsSongbird
    @HelloMsSongbird 3 года назад +1

    May I just say, I have been enjoying watching you both be more affectionate in front of the camera on many of your shows. It really is a joy to see!!!

  • @walker986
    @walker986 3 года назад +6

    Been waiting for this one. Ive been Jakob before, thank goodness, I've learned the error of my ways.

  • @YouTubehandl3333
    @YouTubehandl3333 3 года назад +1

    The love hour prepares me for being a wife. Some people may find it when they’re in that stage in their life. So don’t stop 😘
    It also helps with different perspectives in relationships.

  • @firstname8348
    @firstname8348 3 года назад +2

    Love Melissa's makeup

  • @nporter6378
    @nporter6378 3 года назад +3

    I'm an educator and sadly most educators have a side hustle or a second job.😔

  • @Aftermyownheart
    @Aftermyownheart 3 года назад

    Well done Kev on being introspective

  • @jenericamartin
    @jenericamartin 3 года назад +1

    I’m late, but with the phrase “ when people show you who they are, believe them....” it has been proven so much. Even at times of trying to repaint them... but we’re all a work in progress huh🤦🏽‍♀️😩🤷🏽‍♀️

  • @TiTaughtYou
    @TiTaughtYou 3 года назад

    Liisssss I have def had that "lightbulb" moment when it came to questioning Christianity in the context of "good v bad" martyrdom ...

  • @GastonsWorld
    @GastonsWorld 3 года назад

    I think Romanticizing is what Kev was referring to when he said everything would be great every time

  • @teejaye521
    @teejaye521 3 года назад

    Whew....I minimize myself to make sure someone else feels seen

  • @lizrichardson9312
    @lizrichardson9312 2 года назад

    Intro never get old it’s 🔥

  • @sarynaghc
    @sarynaghc 3 года назад +3

    This was a great episode! You highlighted so many topics that need to be talked about. Kudos to the info and your excellent delivery!

  • @HelloMsSongbird
    @HelloMsSongbird 3 года назад +1

    Child I am 1-17..... respectfully 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 especially the last one. Lawd!

  • @rhondareid1972
    @rhondareid1972 3 года назад +10

    I hear what yall are saying, but I also feel like Haley was giving Jacob reasons to jump to conclusions. Not really trying to be engaging with him, having sex with him then treating him like a leper, saying you're going to a girl's night and running off from him when he sees you and thinking it's ok to spend the night at a girlfriend's house in a new marriage. Just not good behavior in my opinion, her communication is trash!

    • @joannasaadati8810
      @joannasaadati8810 3 года назад +1

      Exactly and he had valid reasons to be mad BUT he took it to another level and made up scenarios lol

  • @celinamartinez247
    @celinamartinez247 3 года назад

    The Christianity - martyr fallacy is 100% on-point. Love this!

  • @charityannchambers
    @charityannchambers 3 года назад

    Absolutely love Melissa and Kevin!!! Thank you both for great content.

  • @walteryoung8501
    @walteryoung8501 3 года назад

    Wow, yeah little argument is so cute, I love to see true love.

  • @JammyG360
    @JammyG360 3 года назад +1

    This whole episode just showed me other sides of me! I feel like I'm the only one dealing with certain things too. I loved this episode! Felt exposed too! lol

  • @mel.alisha2992
    @mel.alisha2992 3 года назад

    It’s so interesting because you really don’t want to feel dumb for giving someone the benefit of the doubt but you want to allow grace at the same time.
    I believe we react from how we feel about ourselves at the time. Often times we make decisions from insecurities, doubt, fear, happiness, love, joy etc.
    What started working for me was realizing that what other people do or act is a reflection of where they are in their life. It has absolutely nothing to do with me but their journey. (Easier said)
    Once you learn to lead with love and allowing grace you don’t take things as personally. Not that you become a pushover but you can make better decisions on the people you want in your life without the bitterness of a situation.

  • @chandamochaswirl
    @chandamochaswirl 3 года назад +1

    Great show I’m reevaluating my thought process now🤦🏾‍♀️ also thanks for the info on the black bands. I thought it was a “RUclipsr spouse thing” because they all wear them except Marcus Tanksley 😂

  • @izmane
    @izmane 3 года назад +1

    Love your makeup Lis

  • @lakeishar23
    @lakeishar23 3 года назад

    5min in and you just read me. Especially Polarize thinking. Its either I'm in or im out or i like you or I don't

  • @bloodofdepanta
    @bloodofdepanta 3 года назад +4

    Not this being exactly what i needed to hear about myself noooo

  • @fantamegful
    @fantamegful 3 года назад +4

    Y’all need to call these “Ad episodes” because baby....whew.
    Melissa, love your makeup though!

  • @hlokomani
    @hlokomani 3 года назад +1

    This show is my therapy

  • @beautifulba_kmay5369
    @beautifulba_kmay5369 3 года назад +2

    It’s Liss’ face beat for me🔥🔥🔥🔥

  • @TweetsyCk
    @TweetsyCk 3 года назад

    Always great. I love how you always search for the mental health/wellness/awareness aspect of issues in current events/ pop culture & random topics. Love it!

  • @tekiajohnson6942
    @tekiajohnson6942 3 года назад

    You always show Tobe so much love, where is the love hour interview with him and Fat?

  • @ladidadilisa
    @ladidadilisa 3 года назад +1

    I'm just over here checking em off, like this is me ✏🗒

  • @vc9732
    @vc9732 3 года назад

    Kiwi Co reminds me of the old erector set. I wanted to be an engineer but it was never encouraged or nourished. I’m so glad outlets like this exists. Also. This episode my loves... phew! I’m Always in my head!

  • @aleialaw
    @aleialaw 3 года назад +1

    I love yall so much!

  • @streetacademypodcast3979
    @streetacademypodcast3979 3 года назад +2

    Kev be sleepy...😂

  • @jasminebailey6810
    @jasminebailey6810 3 года назад

    Right @ MrsKevOnStage. Because you always can say, “Thank you so much-I found the article....” that way you’re not dismissing the compliment and still citing or giving credit to how you came up with the idea. There is definitely a balance. Women sometimes have a greater challenge unlearning downplaying a compliment

  • @PSATB3
    @PSATB3 3 года назад

    Good topic and convo!!

  • @jspire3731
    @jspire3731 3 года назад

    Thank you, you explained this soooo well. Aha moment for me.

  • @yvonnebolton7595
    @yvonnebolton7595 3 года назад

    This episode is interesting and informative. Thank you. BTW Melissa your makeup in this episode is BEAU-TI-FUL! If you ever thought to do another make-up GDWM I would love to see how you did this color combo.

  • @rohanwarrier4232
    @rohanwarrier4232 3 года назад

    26:32 praying after seeing your hand 😂

  • @deborahterrell4679
    @deborahterrell4679 3 года назад

    I had to pause here and go to Patreon for the MAFS convo. Good info as always

  • @ShakiraKGardner
    @ShakiraKGardner 3 года назад +1

    I believe that I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living!!

  • @darisesanker6022
    @darisesanker6022 3 года назад

    Case by case bases we need to operate...

  • @justdebs365
    @justdebs365 3 года назад

    Yasssss go Liss and Kev 👏🏾👏🏾

  • @lovelivelela
    @lovelivelela 3 года назад +1

    Part two this episode as solutions ✌🏾

  • @anastasiarenaud2568
    @anastasiarenaud2568 3 года назад

    I love it I am using sidechuck from now on.

  • @Msdeanna.angela
    @Msdeanna.angela 3 года назад

    I appreciate being able to think deeply and y’all also keep it somewhat lighthearted so I don’t be in my feelings too much for the rest of the day haha Also Huge co-sign on kiwi co. My 8 year old son loves it so much we even got grandma to sign up for a subscription for him so he gets two different crates a month lol baby on the way and we’re gonna get one for her too. Huge parenting win!

  • @joyous1011
    @joyous1011 3 года назад

    Just found you MrsKev ❤ I think I like you alot more than Kev ❤lol SUBSCRIBED!!😘😘

  • @glois80
    @glois80 3 года назад

    In my mind Melissa and God have many talks about me and God is like this girl is going to hear what I have to say and Melissa is like I got you God I will get the message to her because she be getting me together every episode and I love it

  • @ShontrellJRandomthoughts
    @ShontrellJRandomthoughts 3 года назад

    Our heavenly father doesn't want us to suffer
    Jeremiah chapter 29 vs 11. However, we live in a imperfect world, where people around hurt us, we suffer illness, hardship etc. None of these things are from God, James chapter1 vs 13. But its our faith a relationship with our creator to gets us through.

  • @ShontrellJRandomthoughts
    @ShontrellJRandomthoughts 3 года назад

    Wow!!

  • @lockandloaded6218
    @lockandloaded6218 3 года назад

    I agree that is you

  • @Aaaayyyeee
    @Aaaayyyeee 3 года назад

    Side Chuck lmao

  • @meaashley
    @meaashley 3 года назад

    Liss your makeup is bomb!

  • @davideurope736
    @davideurope736 3 года назад

    A lot of these could or could not be me at any given time but I'm for sure rules guy. I place expectations, realistic and not on people, that they should just know and follow. Some of them I can give grace, others I just need you to do better. I'm working on it
    I commented with 5 mins to go and they dropped that bomb at the end....big oof. That is me to the CORE. I have done nothing but what I've been led to believe since childhood is the right thing and will lead to success. Meanwhile I failed a class in college while the rest of the class passed because they all cheated and I didn't. I watched shitty people get promoted and lauded for years now while I sit grinding away praying it will pay off. And the times I spoke out or defended myself, I was branded a troublemaker, fired, you name it. The fact is, life never has, and never will be fair. No amount of good you do will guarantee good back to you. Period. Man that hurts just thinking and saying outloud 🙃

  • @rclark1132
    @rclark1132 3 года назад +1

    I hit this so fast 🤣🤣🤣

  • @shinitajordan2091
    @shinitajordan2091 3 года назад

    I must know whether “Susie” corrected the boss? Or if she just ran along with the miss credit...

  • @StrengthFromWithinLLC
    @StrengthFromWithinLLC 3 года назад

    Hey tom magni-fly lol back to you! 😂

  • @theetravelhippie
    @theetravelhippie 3 года назад

    23:40 😂😂

  • @AMR2442
    @AMR2442 3 года назад

    12:37 Kev is an alien Mel! look out!

  • @maddhatter3570
    @maddhatter3570 3 года назад

    Literally played a game centered around Concorde disorders and distortions. I highly recommend playing persona 5 Royals.

  • @PrsWater8
    @PrsWater8 3 года назад

    Is not toxic to be in a relaxed state aka no judgment zones... is just dangerous to do around people outside of your circle...

  • @AN-gq8zr
    @AN-gq8zr 3 года назад

    Yea and Dr Phil was a forensic psychologist. He’s talking about dead people lol. Trust me, new things can be learned and neuroplasticity

  • @ameliamariah4757
    @ameliamariah4757 3 года назад +1

    This love hour was IN MY BUSINESS and I don’t like it 😂