#TheLoveHour
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- Опубликовано: 18 окт 2024
- #TheLoveHour | Melissa was triggered
In today's episode Melissa and Kev talk about what triggers Melissa.
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I can't finish this video without saying Melissa is GORGEOUS! 🥰🥰🥰
So gorgeous. And her smile is captivating😍
Btw Mrskevonstage (MKOS) and Kevonstage are two different brands. Y'all can post the same picture and literally still put out different content on it. For example, the incredibles family picture. Y'all in two different lanes but your names still show you're *ONE* I love it!
I agree!!!!!!!😍😍😍😍😍
She is a very beautiful woman, and I just love her personality. It reminds me of me.
for facts
Fun fact: Joe Biden proposed to Jill several times before she said yes. She didn’t want to loose herself and was focused on her career. Makes sense that she is still working to this day.. kudos to her 🙌🏾
Did I miss something? How did they start talking about Dr Jill Biden then after a glitch or something they spent the rest of the time talking about the trigger?
@@avaholloway32 People will have a hard time dealing with the fact that Biden was the worst of the choices between him and Trump.
Melissa is CORRECT THOUGH. Ignoring someone is disrespectful. Give her the same respect y'all give each other with your responses.
Yes but how do you make sure it happens without going off?
@@SD-hs2pk going off on people is not the way. If you go off on me for not responding to a text, I'm not responding next time you text me. It's about being assertive not passive aggressive.
@@firstname8348 that's litteraly what I'm saying. Another way to deal with the situation needs to be found. Because going off isn't the way to command a respect. Unfortunately we can wait for people to be respectful we must find out why others react this way when it comes to us and go from there.
Yeah but being disrespectful to adults is not the way and it's unhealthy. People don't respond to aggression because I know I wouldn't. Friend or not. 😂😂😂
@@ebbypetes yeah but we can only control our actions not the ones of others
I believe that MKOS actually IS a separate identity from KevOnStage. I love it and I think you should keep it and walk BOLDLY in it! I love your spirit Melissa. If God isn’t leading you to change it please don’t.
I so agree with you.
YES MKOS..WALK BOLDly in yourself. The team needs to respect you...it is disrespectful to ignore your questions even if its unintentional...💯
He is secure in himself that he doesn’t have to have his wife image tied to him. Go ahead y’all.
You wouldn't want the president and vice president staying in the same residence, for national security reasons. That's also why they would generally travel separately (air force one vs air force two).
That makes sense
It’s the “Keevon” inside joke for me!!😂😂🙊🙊
😂😂😂 I been waiting for him to bring it up
Melissa: NOOO STOP TALKING!
Kevin: I’ll never say another word 🤤
I feel like MKOS with the logo looks like a high quality, high end brand. Which describes the way you do your work...describes your brand. You can introduce yourself as Melissa Fredericks as you generally do, and behind the introduction could be "Creator of MKOS" or "founder" or etc... I'm rooting for you!
“I’ll never say another word again.”
MEN ARE THE MOST DRAMATIC!!!! I’ll tell my bf I’m not in the mood and he moves to the other side of the couch. SIR!!!
😂😂
Melissa, I SUFFER FROM THE SAME THING! I don't really speak up for myself whenever I'm upset about something. I will shut down and get PISSED THE F*** OFF! I really need to get better about that, and say what I'm feeling as opposed to shutting everyone out. I feel bad because I should know this from all the KevOnStage Studio content that I watch on RUclips, FB and Patreon...what is the online therapist that you all look into? I really want to get started with sessions before the end of 2020.
It's Talkspace.
They have done ads for better help and talk space
@@oaktree1626 THANK YOU!
@@shicstayblessed7023 Thanks :)
Melissa, no matter your handle, you are carving an identity and brand that is completely standing in its own glory. We don’t see you and see Kev. You’re about Healing (self betterment) and he’s about Humour (entertainment studios).
We see two, individual people building an empire. The reality is that up until the bookclub and influencer pivot I saw all your content with Kev so the name fit. I think you have to search whatever serves you and makes you feel authentic and happy. We love you AS IS!
Kevin: "I'll never say another word" **slumps over** LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!
Melissa, I feel the exact same way. I can say the sky is blue. He will go okay. Then come back and say Ray-Ray said the sky is blue, he's a genius. 🙄
🤣🤣🤣 yes lawd
Goodness me!!!!!!!!!!!!......me too 😭
I love this conversation. As my dad and I were watching the news and the announcement that Jill Biden would keep her job was mentioned, he vocalised his disapproval. My dad felt that she needed to focus on being the First Lady and also pointed out that Kamala’s husband was resigning from his job. It literally triggered me and I had an emotional argument that probably took him by surprise.
Women and work is such a layered topic. I feel (some) women really want to carve out our own identity (and personally I think I want to prove that I can do/have it all). There are many challenges when juggling family, work, and self (and in Jill’s case, the public eye). But if you have the right support system then it can come together.
The conclusion I came to is that I want the option and the decision to be mine. Also, I need for my contribution to be visible and appreciated. It’s not about climbing the career ladder for me. It’s about my place in this world and in my family. I can’t die just being known as my husband’s wife. I want people to SEE ME!!!
I dont think the current name diminishes your work. I think its cute and it shows your connection with your husband. 🥰🥰
I'm confused MKOS is MrsKevOnStage so why change it?
Melissa I believe you have your answer, when you said you feel no conviction to change your name. You are your own person inside your union which has zero to do with the name on social media or businesses. Keep building, keep evolving and keep being wonderful Melissa Fredricks.
YEEEESSSSS. Being ignored in a group chat and you tryna make plans😡😡😡😡🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯
Melissa and Kev, I love that you guys communicate so well.
I can relate to that very trigger and in my experience I believe it lies in your personality. For me it’s a respect thing and to feel acknowledged and respected is very important to me
It should be MKOS.. I love that!! 🙌🏾💕💕💕
Yes Melissa, 100% you should only work with people who are enthusiastic about working /collaborating / being friends with you. No time for half-way partnerships when trying to conduct an all-the-way life 💯
The first 7 minutes is a microcosm of my marriage.😂😂😂
It doesn’t sound like she’s pressed to change it. For that reason I’d say she should keep it as MKOS.
I love the idea that you can use your husband's name and make it yours. Showing wives that you are shinning through it.
Hope you will keep MKOS, it looks like a strong brand and Melissa.
Teach people sis.
It’s the flawless skin for me Liss! 🙌🏾
I love yalls names. I think it's offensive to tell a wife that she can't identify as one with her husband. But that's just me. I don't see why people care. Lol.
Thank you I feel like people put their lives in a name not understanding that you make the person make the name. If I wanted to be Cotton Candy, where it well and don’t let anyone put you down for it. I’ll be a CEO of a fortune five hundred company having people call me Candy 🤣😂
@@tknighton23 exactly. It's my name. I'm gone wear it. 😂😂😂
Ebby Petes Yes! What is up with that?!!! One of my aunts said "I hope when you get married that you aren't always saying 'my husband' because you can just call him by his first name". Why do you care? Did you call my grandmother, your mother, by her first name or did you call her mama? Did you call your father, my grandfather, by his first name or did you call him daddy? Haters!!!
I like the MKOS name. Anybody who thinks Melissa is "just" Kev's wife hasn't been paying attention. I love y'all separately and together. We need more examples of positive Black relationships especially marriages. The MKOS name attracts more attention but people stay because she is great in her own right.
I am here! For me, it’s the fact that I don’t speak often. And those times that I speak, it’s important for me to be heard and understood. This happens with my husband, where I will tell him something and it’s not ‘heard’ or ‘acknowledged.’ But when someone else says the same thing, they just had the best idea ever. It incenses me. And I become very vocal about! Melissa you are MEEEEE!
Husbands don't like to listen to their Wives....🙄😏 I totally understand Melissa, my Husband takes forever to respond to my texts but let one of his lil friends text he's Johnny On the Spot....🙄😒🥴😵
Same sis, same.😒 Ninjas...🤦🏾♀️
Same with baby boys🤣🤣🤣
My son be KILLING me. I have to keep reminding myself that he is a Male!
I understand 1000000 /=
My husband does this too Melissa. Taking other suggestions at Gold value when I literally juts said that. That or taking my idea as if he came up with himself.
I absolutely love y’all transparency as both of your brands continue to grow. This is the part of the success journey many ppl omit because it doesn’t fit a certain “narrative.” Y’all don’t know how trustworthy y’all are making yourselves. Like the credibility, whew, when it comes to y’all, is through the roof for me! Thanks for this, Kuzzos. 💜💜💜💜💜
Y'all are so irritated with each other this episode, 😂 but I can feel the love underneath.
Yes! Lol...her eyerolls were everything!
I remember Melissa said she was going to seek therapy months ago (pre covid). It would be great to seek help as well as acknowledging your triggers. It's hard relinquishing control when you're use to being in control of All the things (whether in actuality OR in your mind)
I'm SO glad your signed up for online therapy
OAN: You may have issues stemming from your parents divorce
I love the topics y’all have. I would be interested to see y’all talk about pop culture and marriages
Dr. Jill Biden was working as a professor at a community college of NoVA Alexandria location when Joe was the Vice President. I believe she will be continue working there.
I think its beautiful that she can express herself yet be accountable knowing the way she feels is wrong, and knowing it stems from her own false ego. She was raised right.
Wait what is the work?? because that would piss me off too Melissa. 😫 I hate being ignored. It’s definitely a trigger for me.
Ohhhh same!🤣
😡🤬👏🏽🤯
My constant takeaways when I watch the #lovehour is how grateful I am to have a good therapist.
Melissa if you do change it! Change it to TheMelissaFredricks. However I love MKOS. I think you have definitely established your platform!
I think Mrskevonstage is catchy & cute🤷♀️
I'm confused MKOS is MrsKevOnStage so why change it?
OMG! I SO FEEL THE EXACT SAME WAY I GIVE MY GUY FRIENDS ADVICE (THEY ACTUALLY ASK FOR ADVICE) THEY ACT LIKE THEY GET IT AND UNDERSTAND BUT SOON AS ANOTHER PERSON SAYS THE EXACT SAME THING IT'S THE GOSPEL! ESPECIALLY WHEN IT COMES FROM ONE OF THEIR HOMEBOYS! I ALMOST START BELIEVING IT'S A GENDER SITUATION. IF MEN REALLY UNDERSTOOD WOMEN THEY WOULD KNOW MOST ARE VERY DETAILED AND HAVE CONSIDERED INFO. THAT THEY MAY HAVE NOT LOOKED AT OBJECTIVELY!
This!!!!!! It makes me sooooo
Preach!
Oh my goodness...I had an ex, he NEVER took my advice until someone else said it. But the killer part is..he NEVER remembered OR acknowledged that I said it first.
This is definitely going down as one of my faves. I’m someone who struggles with being transparent about my triggers. I often dismiss my feelings because I think I’ll be wrong, ultimately. I know this has its roots in ppl pleasing. Anyway, I admire how much Melissa walls in her truth. She spoke her mind when you needed to and have and are still doing the work to address the roots of those triggering issues and communicating with those around you so they can support you. Love love loved this.
I think it is amazing that you and your hubby know each other so well that he was able to break down exactly how you felt. When you couldn't put your finger on it. Ya'll are amazing
I think it boils down to the love language Acts of Service instead of, as you mentioned, an Affirmations thing. I believe you shared that this was your main love language once before and because it sounds like a "I do something for you so I expect you to do something for me in return" type of thing, I can see how you could be triggered to feel invalidated or unfulfilled when these instances occur.
Lack of respect for time, effort, and meaningful input could possibly be viewed as services that are not being reciprocated unto you.
Just my input, would love a more depth discussion on this. Thank you for your transparency☺️
I’m a twin... and most of my struggle comes from being in my sister’s shadow. I am the motivator and encourager in my family... however I don’t see where I get those things in return growing up or even now as an adult.
I like this open introspection. I have felt this in my adult life and even more so now. I recognize it too but can't quite articulate it either. My "go to" phrasing always includes "it's a lack of respect". Not sure if I 100% believe it's all about the level of respect but the pit of my stomach labels it that way every time. Keep seeking enlightenment, Boo!✊🏾💛
I love the transparency! Yes my husband does the same thing and I get SO upset.
I’ve been listening to the podcast but OMG , I love the videos so much more! The looks yall give each other cracks me up. Love y’all! 💕
Good morning everyone
Hi guys. (Looong time fan/fam) I know you didn’t ask for my little ol’ opinion 😂😂 but here it is... I think MrsKevonstage was perfect up until this point. But I agree with Kev now would be a good time to create a name that best fits and defines your growing brand. So proud of you by the way. Both of you!! 💕#friendsinmyhead
The love hour podcast and how married are you podcast are literally holding me down right now. Quarantine has put such a light on marriage I'm so thankful I can get little nuggets of wisdom from other black couples that actually relate to me and mine
Good morning y'all and stay blessed 😊💝
I think this is one of those instances where boundaries need to be drawn, particularly since you work with family and friends. Liss needs some way to indicate her text is regarding business (symbol or something) so everyone knows to respond. Your entire team should probably do this since you mix family/friends/business in your texts. Kev also needs to reinforce this boundary as the team leader. Whether Liss gets her own team or not, her authority needs to be established with the team, particularly since you will always have overlap and they have gotten used to your dynamic (is her input seen/heard/respected?). Additionally, I don’t see this as something Liss missed as a child (validation), but rather something lots of people do (lots of people is me)--we keep taking it when a boundary is violated until that final “thing” breaks the dam!
The edit is real LMBO Liss got into Kev before the first ad LOL it was funnnny
Poor Kev
I absolutely relate to this episode on so many levels. I've been saying this to my for 10 years. Im not alone in this feeling.
Melissa, can’t nobody hear that heater girl!!! Get ya warm up on. That hum made me feel like was getting warm and cozy.
Maybe if Kev sees that Melissa text the group and no one responds he can say “YALL! Answer my wife!” It might still be them responding to Kev but it’s him boosting her importance in a way/publicly? 🤷🏻♀️
I get the gesture but that can add fuel to the fire
I watched a TikTok from a Urologist that shared that drinking too much carbonated water is bad for your bladder. So yes, you were right.
Your husband only takes your advice if someone else offers it? Telling my whooooole life 😭😡
Me too ✋ 😪 loool.
Girl! 🤚🏽
🤚
I understand you because my hubby has 2 successful business and I’m trying to find my way . I’m more than the last name and now it’s difficult to come from under his shadow. So I understand self identity and independence doesn’t mean you wanna change your last name duh!!
I like MKOS. The logo is cute. The branding is attractive. I think the identity of each is so different that, imho, they are not so tied together. Being married, being a wife and mother, are a part of that identity. But it isn't all of it. The difference in aesthetics and content differentiates you both.
THANK YOU SO MUCH MELISSA!!! I feel like you get me!
Yes that’s it!! Kev is like BOSS and on the other hand to other people, Lisa is like “the other person that needs BOSS approval to move forward” including decisions and getting others on board. It’s like her decisions don’t get recognition unless Kev (BOSS) either approves or is on board. Nobody makes a move unless HE Is in agreement. And that’s not fair. MKOS is her own BOSS and definitely needs her own team. Like having a separate bank account aside from the JOINT ACCOUNT 😉
I really loved this episode as I am on a journey to really assess why I react the way I do to certain situations. This was the reminder I needed to book that therapy session I have been putting off. @Melissa I know you mentioned it not being related to your childhood, but if you are a middle child not being SEEN is often a sentiment felt by middle children. Depending on how much space your older and younger sister took up you could feel the same way with Kevin and his very big personality love you guys.
I'm wondering if Melissa's "issue" is a part of the first-born syndrome. As a first-born myself, it's quite easy to get the attention of others (first from the parents) and I hold a leadership position at home with regards to the siblings. So, with Melissa also being homecoming (or prom?) queen in high school, it's another proof that she's used to getting the attention of others when she wants/needs it. So when today, it doesn't happen so easily, it must feel disturbing to have to fight for people to listen to you, especially when she's married to Kevin (big personality, extrovert type). It can almost make you question your whole existence and identity. And that's where the triggers come from.
Plus being a people pleaser, another common trait for first-borns, may have hindered her from pointing the issue right away because it might start a conflict because it would make people uncomfortable.
Very good topic. I can see how I do this as well. Let me schedule my therapy appointment to.
If YOU, Melissa, don’t feel any less ownership over your brand as MrsKevOnStage, don’t change the name. But if the Kev part is really an issue, consider MelOnStage? It’s honestly beautiful to see y’all together so the association isn’t negative at all. Let’s not make a good thing a bad thing
Melissa come and read this post
Her nickname is Liss. Her sister, Melanie goes by Mel. 🙂
@@savannahhouston730 ah right. LissOnStage might also be better so she doesn’t get called Melon 😬 lol
Liss I think your being triggered is rooted in not feeling respected. You even started the explanation of the triggering situation by saying you "struggle with feeling seen and visible with Kev" which makes sense. If YOU offer a suggestion and it's ignored but someone else says the exact same thing and now it's readily accepted or (even worse) revered as this genius concept, that can be insulting. In that moment you feel ignored and disrespected because your words don't seem to be as valuable or hold as much weight as someone else's. That happens frequently in interactions between men and women and becomes even more compounded when you factor in being a black woman. That situation is difficult on its own but becomes even more complicated when you add the fact that the group chat was a business setting. You are coming into your own as an entrepreneur/influencer and want to be respected by those you work with. If you say something via text and nobody responds that could be attributed to them being busy and haven't read your message yet. If Kev comes right behind you saying something else and people immediately respond or jump to action that could begin to plant the seed of questioning their level of respect for you and your words. But if you extend grace in attributing that lack of response to a timing issue and followup with your own statement/request which once again gets no response...that could be interpreted as them blatantly ignoring you which is disrespectful and offensive. Both intimacy and respect involve being seen, valued and heard...just by different people. I think that your feelings are a very normal response; sometimes more so for women, for women of color, for people that are educated but put in a position where their intelligence is called into question or where they are not given respect as a clear thinking adult.
This is so well said Auntie Kelly! I'm happy that you are starting therapy Melissa. The therapist will help you slow down and remember other times that you had this same feeling.
“I acknowledge you Queen, grand rising” 🤣✊🏽✊🏾✊🏿
Kev receive Mel's genius Sir! You only hear it when another person says it, STOP and give her credit 🙄🙄🙄✌🏾
Man..I love the Fredricks for real! Y'all feel like family 🙏🏾 I appreciate all the vunerability. I'm taking notes for when it's time for me to get married.
I hear this alot from other married women. Thank goodness my husband runs his ideas by me and ask my opinion 😁👍🏾. And she is right, you have to learn and acknowledge your own triggers first and not misplace it onto other people. Real talk 💯 👏🏾.
Also just being considered, a lot of people dont consider anything or anyone other then what they need or want.
My husband does the same thing with our Photography and Videography company, I say it weeks earlier and someone else mentions it and it's the best advise ever!! 🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️ drives me CRAZY!
I believe therapy is needed. These issues are really delicate and sometimes voicing them alone isn’t enough. Sometimes you’ve gotta talk to a completely disinterested person.
I resonate so deeply with what Melissa is saying
I think one day you'll have to cross this road but not today. I'm actually loving the evolution of MrsKevOnStage! The more and more you evolve, the more I see you standing taller on your own two feet. This podcast is a testament to that as well as MKOS brand launch! Let's not even talk about "All the Things w/MKOS" You already moving in this direction!
Yooo I could tell my bf “Hey, there’s a cliff coming up. You shouldn’t walk that way.” He’ll hear me, proceed to walk off the cliff, then somehow find his way back to me just to say “So you were right”.......😤🤬🤦🏾♀️
I am here for all that Mrs. Kevonstage embodies.
"I recognize you Queen, grand rising!"🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
You're so solid in your brand I feel like you can change your name & we'll follow.
Its a paradox (to ME, in MY head) to not want to be in the shadows of Kev and be called MKOS. Whatever you choose, we'll follow sooo...
Love me some MrsKevOnStage 💯💯💯
GIRL KEEP MRSKEVONSTAGE !!! Ya'll are building legacies. 💕💕💕
NOOOOO I can't take Kev's tantalising secks fingers!!! 🤣😂 I'M DONE 🏃🏾♀️
20:00 This🙌🏾 I’m like how long do we have to be together til you can avoid my triggers 😅 he thinks I make a checklist but really how do husbands not see patterns 🤔
Acknowledgement and Abandonment issues. Ugh!! Im working thru those as well.
Mrskevonstage shows unity to me and that’s why I like it, but I also support and not judge whatever choice Liss makes.
Kev says it all the time Melissa 2.0 (let me upgrade you) or some derivative of it. Love the name and the meaning.
Wow this has been very helpful! I didn’t realize I do the same thing until now... I have cut people off for leaving me on read 🤦🏾♀️ Some deserved it but now I’m wondering if maybe just maybe I ended good friendships over something I need to fix within myself 🤔
Kevs singing outbursts are hilarious
So, I like MrsKevonstage. I wouldn’t. It’s because ppl want to control something about you. Those who have an issue ‘Will’ be okay ✅ Blessings 🌿
@Mo Ca I agree with you
I agree. I feel like she has definitely established a brand not dependent on Kev.
Kev killing me with his "knowledge" of pop culture....I can see him dancing in his head..."I'm teaching Liss something".
I’ve also noticed that my love languages have changed as I get older. Could be from my perspective on things changing too🤷🏾♀️
I don't see Mrs. Kevonstage is no different than Mrs. Fredericks. You guys are building an empire.
Hi Melissa. I was curious to know what approach your therapist practices. Asking because some therapists don't value understanding where your trigger comes from, as long as you recognize it and are able to move forward, that's what's important.
The Kev impression!!! Lolololol
Yes, I did think his name was Kevon Stage😂😂😂😂. I would refer to him as ,”you know Kevon Stage the comedian “😂😂😂😂