My Husband and I have been married for 51 years and we have definitely been through those times like You and Chance concerning our sex life. Early in our marriage we we like little bunny rabbits and later we had our ups and downs, having babies and more responsibilities sex wasn't our priority anymore. Now all of our are grown and married and have children of their own. We are enjoying each other all over again. Our communications together is very important. We hold hands, walk together, hug, kiss and it feel like we are courting all over again! He calls me his girlfriend and I call him my boyfriend, lol😂😂❤
I love that Chance emphasized the importance of listening to a man when he's being vulnerable. Ladies, that is so important to let him open his heart so he can feel comfortable sharing. Like Chance said, if you shut down a man's vulnerability, that is damage that you will likely never recover from. A man may never open up again - and then we wonder why more men aren't emotionally available or emotionally intelligent. Take care of your partner's heart. ❤
Absolutely 💯 correct men has feelings that goes deeper then the surface and for some it's hard to open up and talk about it they have to be able to trust you to listen and trust you ❤
My husband and I are 33/34 and have been married 12 years. We literally just had this convo and I prayed and asked God what did I say wrong cause he got so defensive!!! And I got on RUclips and this popped up!!! God is so good and this has been so relevant!!! Thank y’all for your transparency and obedience to God!!!!! This is so good!!!!
It feels like you can substitute “initiating sex” for basically any need that your partner has. it’s so difficult to navigate meeting each others needs within your relationship and I appreciate hearing how y’all unpacked your feelings and egos to work through it
The friendship that they share is what allows for these uncomfortable conversations..they truly seem to not just love each other out of obligation, but like one another genuinely. The laughter that they collectively share is also so healthy...they're laughing with each other not at each other! Love this dynamic ❤️😊
These are the convos that our generation did not have. My marriage did not make it because of not knowing ourselves, what traumas we still had from childhood, not knowing how to talk about anything without it feeling like an attack or having the vocabulary to do so, etc…. I’m hopeful for the next generation and for my future relationship.
Many couples divorce because of lack of understanding of each other. We have to be mindful of each other's life load and move accordingly with grace, kindness, compromise and gentleness for a solution that benefits both. 👑❤️👑
THESE are real conversations and so very necessary. My husband and I both sat here saying "Have they been in our house???" #22yrsAndHolding You two are helping men, women, relationships, and marriages. You two are a Blessing to the Kingdom Team Brown!!!🧡🙏🏾🙏🏻
Tab you hit the nail on the head!! When hubby isn’t initiating it rips us wives to shreds! It brings insecurities, makes us feel bad about ourselves, and wonder if we’re good or pretty enough. Chance you’re so right… Rejection hurts both husbands and wives. Let’s respect and honor growth in eachother❤ I’m so proud of you both for surviving the growing pains🙏🏽
It tickles me whenever Chance tells Tab to "Stay Focused." Tab was about to drive that conversation to the left😁😁😁😁 It's great where you can banter with your partner.
You guys are saving marriages with this video. May God bless yours abundantly. To hear Tab our bubbly positive american mom talk about going through sickness and not wanting it is so real, and healing to my soul. You 2 encourage people to not give up and that marriage has valleys and mountains but don't give up in the valleys. Omg you 2 are good. Where is the offering bucket?
I wish Tab & Chance would counsel young couples so they know making it as far as they have is possible. Overcoming things together instead of apart. People change every decade. It’s inevitable.
This is the counseling !! Free and accessible at our convenience. It doesn’t get much better. If they have access or resources they can get a licensed professional to expound on how they relate to the topics personally and work through it with them.
I’ve never been married but I always wanted someone I can talk every thing to and about as a best friend in marriage, even the hard times and hard conversations. I enjoyed getting a glimpse of what people experience in loving each other through phases of difficulty instead of people pretending as if they don’t have/haven’t had issues and grew or worked towards change.
Omg I was just having a convo last night with my partner of 8 years. We get so swept away with kids, financial troubles, grief etc that we get easily used to the routine of not having sex and intimacy overall. I can tell you one thing after having these talks I too look forward to the fun...cause it really does make both people grow closer and fall all in love again. Yall know what im talkin bout 😅.
Kudos to y'all for recognizing the issue and working to improve. Many couples have turned to porn-addiction, side relationships, etc and consequently grew further apart until the great separation was inevitable.
I applaud both of your for having this uncomfortable conversation that a lot of us need to hear. Me and my husband have been in a similar situation and it helps to hear both sides.
My Husband and myself will be celebrating 31 years of marriage on 6/26 and this segment of Tab & Chance is sooooo spot on for me! ✨💜✨ I love this Truth which is soooo very similar to our marital journey. I love the honesty because I too am very honest about our marriage and it’s growth. Our marriage grew up along with our growing. I got married at 19 and my husband was 24 and we literally grew up together in the good, the bad, the ugly and indifferent. But the growing has grown us to this peace and this equilibrium. Y’all, this is honesty of what many marriages look like and to get to this space is beautiful indeed! Thank you Tab & Chance for keeping it real! Love you both! 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰
Happy anniversary……..🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉 my husband and I celebrated 33 years on 6/16…I struggle with when the atmosphere is foul now you want intimacy from .. It is very difficult for me to get past the emotional abuse and then switch to intimacy .. Can I get some advice from the seasoned folks …..
6/2 11 yrs..Now that makes sense. Women foreplay starts in our mind and works it's way 👇. Actually learned this is premarital counseling. We're all diff Soo maybe tell him how he can change the energy. What's your thing??? Like for me it's music. If he can't get me dancing or singing it changes me instantly. MAYBE acts of kindness.. what's your thang? Also did y'all talk about the problem and come to an understanding? Once again if our minds are cluttered..YOU KNOW it's NOT happening.
@@BlaydeAlabama for real if the mind is off its not going to happen. Im praying that God will give us wisdom and create a different mindset. Its a rough season though.. but we still say I DO.. inspite of it all …I love candles and music and he cool with it…thank you for commenting sister…
If I close my eyes and change the voices, I would swear this is my husband and I. Reassuring to hear how this is a very common theme in marriages and how you all work through it. I'm going to listen again with my husband. It will not only validate his feelings but see that it's not just him and it's not just me. It's not just US and WE can get through these same issues! Thanks Tab and Chance!
I’m learning this …. I have to talk to her like girl what’s wrong with you acting 18😮😮 help me … not your pEee feeling good 😮😮40 is the new young woman… we need to talk about this issue lol
Great video, I was in a beautiful marriage before my now ex wife left me, i still love her and most times i cant stop thinking about her, i am doing my very best to get rid of the thought of her, but i just cant, i love her so much, i dont know why i am bring this here for, i cant stop thinking about her.
Tab and Chance Fridays Topics are Vital to our Community bc sometimes we don't have people in our lives, who can have these types of honest conversations. Thank you❤
I’m am crying. Chance say, aight NIE you gone have these old ladies in my DM again. 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 Great video once again. This will help a lot of households.
Y’all had me crackin up!! “get the ice, get the ice” 😂😂😂 This was such a good episode that a lot of married and single folk needed to hear. I’m divorced and realize a lot of the things I did wrong. I’ve been single for 7 years working on myself and I think I’m ready to try again: this time a healed and evolved person. Anyway, loved the video! Many blessings to you two for sharing your journey with all of us. ❤❤❤❤❤
I hot my 40s and i became a whole new woman inside and out. I worked on my mental, physical body and and spiritual health. Y’all look. I walk into a room now making people wonder. And my husband is enjoying every bit of it.
Can I just say that I LOVE the way the two of you laugh, giggle and lean on each other while doing so. It reminds me of that young, teenage puppy love except it's the mature, grown version, which has stood the test of fire and come out stronger on the other side. I like that you're honest about your trials and how you almost didn't make it. It gives hope to those of us who are in the fire right now and wonder if we're going to make it. Not all relationships can survive, especially when there is abuse and cheating, etc.. However, there are some relationships that are worth fighting for but sometimes we don't have the tools and the patience. Keep on loving each other and laught together until you cry 😂🤣. I won't call you 'couple goals' but I will say that you are inspiring. Blessings ❤
Chance is right. We get it. We don’t need to know the details. Sometimes too much will cause people to look at you differently. But make no mistake, you all give good advice & have helped so many of us. I’ve been married 40 years & have learned some great things from you. Things I didn’t necessarily realize. You all are hilarious too! Thank you & God continue to bless you! 💕💕💕
Thank you for this conversation ❤ it was needed, I am 18 years married and I watched this with my husband. We were able to see each others side ❤ I apologized and now we can move forward. Watching the video made it less awkward and we were able to listen and not feel alone on this topic ❤ Thank you Tab
Tears thank you for this I’m 57 married 36 years to my one and only since high school I’ve been through it all this is so healing for me thank for opening up so personally you are helping a multitude of relationships!
Hi Lisa. I just watched this. I just turned 60 April I'm married to my 1st love also from high school it will be 39yrs in 2wks. Been such a lonely sad life, I stay for my grandchildren now I have 5 for the same reason I stayed for our kids, we created this family & I honour & respect that. Our kids know nothing about what went on. I shielded them. Now I pray everyday that God continues to give me the strength because that's what I need. I don't need anything else I gave up hoping for the other good stuff I feel God already knows. I stopped crying but I find lately some thoughts are coming back & I do have a little moment. Sorry for this long message I pray God gives You Strength like I ask for myself, Bless You.
@shawshank6015 Wow..OMG..I guess in so many words you are thinking about leaving. I don't know anything about your financial situation but if it's in tact go ahead and leave. You deserve to be happy 🤷♀️❤
@@shawshank6015Hi, I don't know your scenario, but there are such advancements in martial counseling and encouragement and wisdom for being a better spouse, takes a chance. Maybe your husband would like to join you in living some of those dreams.
This right here was Everything!!! As a married woman in her late 30's, with children, this issue has come up, and your experiences showed me I'm not alone. Thank the Lord Jesus for your transparency Tabitha and Chance. Thank you. You have no idea how your honesty and transparency helps others understand how to fix issues people tend to be embarrassed about, or if not, simply don't want to discuss because it is uncomfortable. But its it's Real and Raw in what we call Marriage. Because of how you both let God use you, I have learned what I needed to learn. My spouse and I will sit down and watch this together. This was needed. 👍🏽 By the way I laughed so hard along with both of y'all in this episode, especially with Tab because I was like girl yes me too 😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂! And Chance helped me to understand my husband better then I thought I did when it comes to this. Yep overall great show👍🏽
I'd love for you all to discuss how you adapt to changes in your relationship. If one person evolves, how does your spouse receive the "new and improved" you although they haven't changed? For instance, if you were typically more passive and become outspoken. Also, how can you encourage your partner to hear you instead of just listening? Love these discussions ❤.
My father-in-law has ALS as of now, and your testimony is definitely what I needed because we are going through this right now, and it is the toughest thing that we are going through. We are in year 5. Our marriage is almost destroyed, and this is truly helping me out. God Bless. I believe we will make it. You all should come to Fort Myers in southwest FL on your tour if he leads you that way.
💜Give yourself and one another grace. "In sickness and in health," didn't specify whom. See everything through with good intentions and like actions. You two will be just fine. 💜
It's the "add the n't" for me!😂❤ Gotta be honest... I haven't seen many couples like Hubby and I. You two are an incredible voice for not love... but Black love, 20+ year marriage, compromise, and joy! Keep being beautiful!!!! May Lord continue to bring success, great health, and good wealth!❤
I don't think you understand how awesome it is that you bring these conversation topics to the forefront because when you stand for God sometimes people don't want to actually get into specific topics but with your courage confidence it helps me along my journey in the spirit world 🎉❤ he helps me to not feel guilty for having desires and it helps me to understand that just because you are for God does not mean that you don't deserve satisfaction🎉🎉🎉🎉
I love the authenticity of this conversation. This is what maturity looks like. This type of discussion with your spouse is also a part of the intimacy between partners. ❤
This was a much needed conversation.. there is a lot of growth in you guys, it's obvious! But most of all the maturity of you guys listening (actively listening).. keep pushing.. keep moving forward... TOGETHER!!❤❤❤❤
Sister Tab you are a mischievous mess! And I mean that in the most respectful good hearted way! Thank you to both of you for sharing this with us. This is so very needed. Very healing. Thank you.......Mrs. C. Lee
This conversation and transparency is a much needed one! I feel like if my husband and I had someone speak so open early on in our relationship, this would have helped us tremendously in avoiding some arguments and very heated moments❣ Normalizing men to be vulnerable and don't cut them down or call them weak, as it may be a scar you may never be able to repair!!❤🥰
I like how you both admitted to some very rocky past years together. It speaks a lot to resilience, commitment, and sometimes sacrifice all playing a crucial role in a successful marriage. I’m glad you arrived at a place of continual love and happiness. 🥂🎊🍀 And ya’ll are hilarious, btw.😁
In marriage it does get challenging, especially when your parents are aging and have health problems needing care it's very difficult I really appreciate you all honesty!!
I have so much respect for this episode. When I was married to my husband, he had to initiate the sex because one time I initiated it and he rejected me. I was devastated. I love you boths' transparency and years of going through your trials and tribulations; now at the point of sharing. That is so awesome. I was married for 13 years, divorced and have been single for 12 years. At this point in time, you can help a lot of couples because you have years and moments under your belt. Some people are married for 2 days, and now they want to write books and have seminars. No. Get some experience, have about 100 fights, then come talk to the people, AMEN!
I'm over here 😂😂😂😂 sooooo hard my stomach hurts... I love the way yall keep it real... Folks need to hear it straight. It's not TMI cause some folks just don't know what to do or say when faced with these types of situations...
Love you both so much! Thank you for this very adult conversation on love relationship & sex ❤️ that really helped me. I so appreciated hearing from another long term married couple, and all that you've been through that also mirrors our experience. It made me feel less alone as a couple. Thank you Tab & Chance!! Appreciate you both for your honesty, your light and your love for each other, and making a positive difference in the lives of others. So inspiring!! 😊🎉❤❤🥰🙌🏼🙏🏼🫶🏻
This hit home in a lot of areas of my marriage. I’ve learned ALOT and hope to have this conversation with my husband. Got me in tears. 😭😭. Thank you Tab and Chance for being transparent. Love you both ❤
My husband just passed away suddenly May 11, 2023 at the age of 51 - we had only been married 7 years. I so wish we could've seen this before he passed, because we still had unresolved issues over this very topic. It is the hardest grief to bare knowing that we couldn't resolve what was actually just a normal season of marriage that just needed better communication and more patience with each other. I pray you continue sharing these REAL marriage discussions. There are truly needed, valued and often not discussed in the "real" way that you share. Many continued blessings, much success and a million years of marriage to you.
Makes perfect sense. Time changes things and then things can change back. As women Theres health, chores? Tiredness and then surgery and kids get grown. We totally ready again.
I always let my husband make the first move, until he stopped,and acted like I didn’t exist anymore , so now things have turned around, so now I dress up , make up, and make 1st 2nd and third move. Trust me it works 🎉
Great subject, it’s a sensitive subject. The rejection can go both ways. Men can also reject their partners. Seems everyone thinks only women say no. I see Chance’s side. I cringed a little when Tabitha called it an excuse that he fear rejection. It’s real and it was a painful time. It’s human nature to avoid what hurts. I agree with Tab when she says women feel automatically it must be them when their partners don’t initiate or reject. It is a huge ego blow to women. Because I assure men there is more than one man who wants your woman. The key is mutual honoring. Tab & Chance thanks for being so open & vulnerable. Your relationship is beautiful. The years of struggle have put a lovely shade of love on you too! ❤
I loved this conversation with my whole heart! I wished I would've allowed myself to get to know me when I was younger but then again we are ever evolving. Now, that all my kids are technically adults, I'm getting to know me in this new chapter/space of life. Oh, GOD we thank you! 🙌🏽
Its extremely hard on a marriage where both partners suffer rejection. My husband was abandoned by his mother and didn't know his father. He lacked affirmations. I didn't have my father covering me, but I saw how he treated women. It took God to mend and heal me and my husband. We still are working on ourselves, and this video is eye-opening. Resentment can build up. I wonder if midlife issues of men and menopause in women add to the stress on marriages? I don't need sex often, but my love language is TOUCH. He can go daily. I prayed my husband wouldn't step out because I've had surgeries. He had a few as well, but i made sure I was all in because I love him and dont wanna start over with someone else after 30 years😅.
This conversation was necessary and a blessing. During my marriage we had horrible arguments regarding intimacy. The Female and Male perspectives are imperative. Friday’s with Tab & Chance .. Continue to Bless us.. Reveal:Teach:Heal❤
This is very familiar. I told my husband, we need to start with fourplay, setting the move. My husband said he doesn’t always have to be the one to initiate. I said ok! I always have initiate so, It’s good to have theses conversations with our spouses amen! I’m going to push fourths through the layers of my life amen. Earth 😇😇💜✝️💜🔥🔥🔥
Intimacy requires talk, time and togetherness. Too often we try to get to it without these three components. The conversation that the two of you had will clearly hence your intimacy and take it to a different level. It was awesome watching the two of you being vulnerable.
Having a healthy and safe space to have conversations is key. No matter what’s going on or wrong, being able to talk about it and respect each others feelings and perspectives, is so important. Also knowing urself and allowing God to work on u, will help as well. The best thing I did was pray to God and ask Him to work on me so once he changes my husband, I can see the difference. Man He opened up so many doors inside of me. Which resolved sooo many issues in our relationship.
Very mature and much needed conversation... This is probably one of the most profound podcast or RUclips on social media. I love y'all. Tab I understand exactly what you saying. Delilah is overly sensitive 🥺 😂
I swear EVERYBODY need to to watch this video. It doesn't matter what ur relationship status is and age. Cuz MAYNE STUFF CHANGE! This is a great conversation starter. This cuz be a deal breaker or maker with the right/wrong person.
This conversation had been building within me. 3 years Cancer-free🎉. So glad I was able to forward this. He saw it sometime last night on a bathroom break. The BUSINESS is back! AFTER, I was advised I could have shown him this video before we went to bed. Can you put out a video on men filling up the spouse's car with gas and emptying out the dishwasher? -Happy and satisfied-Thank you ❤
My parents have been divorced for 40 years. My mom went on to have other relationships for much longer than she was with my Dad. One of the things that I will always remember is; my mom never put gas in her car. Never washed her car. Never had to sevice her car. Never took out the trash and never did yard work. Those are very specific gender roles from a specific time and place but no other man in her life was like that.
I am so glad that this topic was talked about. I thought I was alone by having those seasons of not feeling physically or emotionally connected to my wife. As a man, it’s like you should just take emotional abuse and act like it doesn’t affect you when that’s not true. The male ego is very fragile and when words are spoken and neglect from your personal love one is happening, it’s hard to open up and view your spouse as that beautiful, caring, warm-hearted individual you once knew. I’m currently still healing from the rejection and just being honest with where I’m at.
Chance, those last couple minutes when you admonished the man and the woman in the relationship, was most powerful, and I pray that both sides listen and heed those words!
Look! We thank you both for the must needed message..my husband and I had a great night because of you all. (Currently 4 months PP and our season is definitely a season) Very insightful and positive words for married folks!
You did His will. I woke up preparing to move today from my home. Looking at all these boxes I questioned my decision. This was the first video that popped up when I logged into RUclips. Thank you for the message. Perfect.
My Husband and I have been married for 51 years and we have definitely been through those times like You and Chance concerning our sex life. Early in our marriage we we like little bunny rabbits and later we had our ups and downs, having babies and more responsibilities sex wasn't our priority anymore. Now all of our are grown and married and have children of their own. We are enjoying each other all over again. Our communications together is very important. We hold hands, walk together, hug, kiss and it feel like we are courting all over again! He calls me his girlfriend and I call him my boyfriend, lol😂😂❤
This was si cute to read love it.
Congratulations on reaching over the half way point. Wishing you both many more prosperous years to ahead. 🌹
Admirable
That is soo beautiful. ❤
Aawww! I love this! It’s beautiful on the other side 🥰
“Don’t think about what you can get! Think about what you’ve got and how you want to keep it!” That was a powerful statement!
Yessss!!!
Amen
I love that Chance emphasized the importance of listening to a man when he's being vulnerable. Ladies, that is so important to let him open his heart so he can feel comfortable sharing. Like Chance said, if you shut down a man's vulnerability, that is damage that you will likely never recover from. A man may never open up again - and then we wonder why more men aren't emotionally available or emotionally intelligent. Take care of your partner's heart. ❤
Looooooove the realness
Preach Preach!!! 🗣👏🏿
That part hit home! It’s sooooo important to let your man feel safe to show his sensitive side.
Amen
Absolutely 💯 correct men has feelings that goes deeper then the surface and for some it's hard to open up and talk about it they have to be able to trust you to listen and trust you ❤
Love the fact that Chance is able to voice things from a man’s perspective. Feeling seen.
Me too
tell us more lol love watching them together
Awww happy for you sis
They are talking like grown married people who have learned and are learning.❤
Facts
My husband and I are 33/34 and have been married 12 years. We literally just had this convo and I prayed and asked God what did I say wrong cause he got so defensive!!! And I got on RUclips and this popped up!!! God is so good and this has been so relevant!!! Thank y’all for your transparency and obedience to God!!!!! This is so good!!!!
🙏 for y'all
It feels like you can substitute “initiating sex” for basically any need that your partner has. it’s so difficult to navigate meeting each others needs within your relationship and I appreciate hearing how y’all unpacked your feelings and egos to work through it
The friendship that they share is what allows for these uncomfortable conversations..they truly seem to not just love each other out of obligation, but like one another genuinely. The laughter that they collectively share is also so healthy...they're laughing with each other not at each other! Love this dynamic ❤️😊
Me too
Me too
These are the convos that our generation did not have. My marriage did not make it because of not knowing ourselves, what traumas we still had from childhood, not knowing how to talk about anything without it feeling like an attack or having the vocabulary to do so, etc…. I’m hopeful for the next generation and for my future relationship.
Same! If there is a next time, I’m ready.
Absolutely. Mines didn't make it for lack of communication. I'm hopeful for my future relationship.
@paulabrown
I agree with you 💯. ❤🎉
@@ibiminaabiye257
AMEN. Same reason why mine didn't make it.😢❤
I'm so glad you're talkin about having the hard conversations. It can really save a lot of marriages.❤❤
I love how Chance always says "we done helped these people enough!" hahaha
Honey he has to....Auntie Tab will tell it all! LOL
Many couples divorce because of lack of understanding of each other. We have to be mindful of each other's life load and move accordingly with grace, kindness, compromise and gentleness for a solution that benefits both.
👑❤️👑
That was good ..mindful of each others life load…
You talking right! Well said and I totally concur
Well said! 😊
Tell it all
Me either. I was young and did not wait
THESE are real conversations and so very necessary. My husband and I both sat here saying "Have they been in our house???" #22yrsAndHolding You two are helping men, women, relationships, and marriages. You two are a Blessing to the Kingdom Team Brown!!!🧡🙏🏾🙏🏻
Tab you hit the nail on the head!! When hubby isn’t initiating it rips us wives to shreds! It brings insecurities, makes us feel bad about ourselves, and wonder if we’re good or pretty enough. Chance you’re so right… Rejection hurts both husbands and wives.
Let’s respect and honor growth in eachother❤ I’m so proud of you both for surviving the growing pains🙏🏽
It tickles me whenever Chance tells Tab to "Stay Focused." Tab was about to drive that conversation to the left😁😁😁😁 It's great where you can banter with your partner.
Chance: "Baby...you're gonna have those old ladies in my DMs. I don't want those nasty pictures." 🤣🤣🤣
@@mjohnson6841 Almost took me out 🤣🤣🤣
He catches her every time 😅😂
😂😂😂I laughed so hard at Chance trying his best to hold Tab back.."alright, you gonna have these old ladies in my DMs"😂😂
Giiiirrrlll i hollered 😂
I had to run it back...Ol ladies been sending him pic??😂
19:35 I don't want those nasty pictures
You guys are saving marriages with this video. May God bless yours abundantly. To hear Tab our bubbly positive american mom talk about going through sickness and not wanting it is so real, and healing to my soul. You 2 encourage people to not give up and that marriage has valleys and mountains but don't give up in the valleys. Omg you 2 are good. Where is the offering bucket?
What an amazing and authentic conversation. Y’all out here saving relationships. You two are a gift
I wish Tab & Chance would counsel young couples so they know making it as far as they have is possible. Overcoming things together instead of apart. People change every decade. It’s inevitable.
Thank God for videos! They can only do so many things in their life, BUT these videos can go a looong way and be shared with Millions! 🎉
Young people have to want the advice. Many of us try, but they reject with such horrible attitudes.
This is the counseling !! Free and accessible at our convenience. It doesn’t get much better. If they have access or resources they can get a licensed professional to expound on how they relate to the topics personally and work through it with them.
I’ve never been married but I always wanted someone I can talk every thing to and about as a best friend in marriage, even the hard times and hard conversations. I enjoyed getting a glimpse of what people experience in loving each other through phases of difficulty instead of people pretending as if they don’t have/haven’t had issues and grew or worked towards change.
Omg I was just having a convo last night with my partner of 8 years. We get so swept away with kids, financial troubles, grief etc that we get easily used to the routine of not having sex and intimacy overall. I can tell you one thing after having these talks I too look forward to the fun...cause it really does make both people grow closer and fall all in love again. Yall know what im talkin bout 😅.
Stop thinking about what you can get. Think about what you got and what you want to keep. Words of wisdom from Chance
Kudos to y'all for recognizing the issue and working to improve. Many couples have turned to porn-addiction, side relationships, etc and consequently grew further apart until the great separation was inevitable.
This is so true...
“Stop thinking about what you can get! Focus on what you have and what you want to keep” Come on Chance!! Boy, you better say that again🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉
I applaud both of your for having this uncomfortable conversation that a lot of us need to hear. Me and my husband have been in a similar situation and it helps to hear both sides.
Been married 27 years and we still having these conversations. Thanks for being real. It helps a lot of married couples.
I feel like we encountered an inside joke at 19:30 cuz they were both laughing TOO hard 😂 I love y’all
Facing rejection is the easy part. Handling being rejected will take some soul searching.
My Husband and myself will be celebrating 31 years of marriage on 6/26 and this segment of Tab & Chance is sooooo spot on for me! ✨💜✨ I love this Truth which is soooo very similar to our marital journey. I love the honesty because I too am very honest about our marriage and it’s growth. Our marriage grew up along with our growing. I got married at 19 and my husband was 24 and we literally grew up together in the good, the bad, the ugly and indifferent. But the growing has grown us to this peace and this equilibrium. Y’all, this is honesty of what many marriages look like and to get to this space is beautiful indeed! Thank you Tab & Chance for keeping it real! Love you both! 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰
Happy anniversary……..🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉 my husband and I celebrated 33 years on 6/16…I struggle with when the atmosphere is foul now you want intimacy from .. It is very difficult for me to get past the emotional abuse and then switch to intimacy .. Can I get some advice from the seasoned folks …..
6/2 11 yrs..Now that makes sense. Women foreplay starts in our mind and works it's way 👇. Actually learned this is premarital counseling. We're all diff Soo maybe tell him how he can change the energy. What's your thing??? Like for me it's music. If he can't get me dancing or singing it changes me instantly. MAYBE acts of kindness.. what's your thang?
Also did y'all talk about the problem and come to an understanding? Once again if our minds are cluttered..YOU KNOW it's NOT happening.
Does he know your love language & you too?
@@BlaydeAlabama for real if the mind is off its not going to happen. Im praying that God will give us wisdom and create a different mindset. Its a rough season though.. but we still say I DO.. inspite of it all …I love candles and music and he cool with it…thank you for commenting sister…
Happy Anniversary!
Constant communication relieves the pressure.
This such a healthy and honest conversation
If I close my eyes and change the voices, I would swear this is my husband and I. Reassuring to hear how this is a very common theme in marriages and how you all work through it. I'm going to listen again with my husband. It will not only validate his feelings but see that it's not just him and it's not just me. It's not just US and WE can get through these same issues! Thanks Tab and Chance!
It’s something about when us women hit our 40’s! They getting a whole new woman out of us!😁
I’m learning this …. I have to talk to her like girl what’s wrong with you acting 18😮😮 help me … not your pEee feeling good 😮😮40 is the new young woman… we need to talk about this issue lol
It must skipped all over me then, I never want to 🤷🏿♀️
Facts
Sho is.... I'm learning😂
So true
Great video, I was in a beautiful marriage before my now ex wife left me, i still love her and most times i cant stop thinking about her, i am doing my very best to get rid of the thought of her, but i just cant, i love her so much, i dont know why i am bring this here for, i cant stop thinking about her.
@jaypritchett3414 wow, how did you get a spiritual adviser, and how do I reach her?
@jaypritchett3414 Thank you for this valuable information, I just looked her up now online. impressive.
Go FIX it and lay it all out on the line and be accountable and apologize and go get your woman !!!!
Extremely hard when your not emotionally connect as she said. Having those emotions in checks brings the spark back
This can up today (again) with my 16 year marriage...so I'm here for it...👀
They are hilarious...I'm dying over here...💀
Tab and Chance Fridays Topics are Vital to our Community bc sometimes we don't have people in our lives, who can have these types of honest conversations. Thank you❤
Love how he let Ms Tab know, about them old ladies in his DM’s
I’m am crying. Chance say, aight NIE you gone have these old ladies in my DM again. 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Great video once again. This will help a lot of households.
lol I was weak
Y’all had me crackin up!! “get the ice, get the ice” 😂😂😂 This was such a good episode that a lot of married and single folk needed to hear. I’m divorced and realize a lot of the things I did wrong. I’ve been single for 7 years working on myself and I think I’m ready to try again: this time a healed and evolved person. Anyway, loved the video! Many blessings to you two for sharing your journey with all of us. ❤❤❤❤❤
This just helped me to release some offense from my ex husband. Thanks Tab and Chance .💯🙏🏼
I hot my 40s and i became a whole new woman inside and out. I worked on my mental, physical body and and spiritual health. Y’all look. I walk into a room now making people wonder. And my husband is enjoying every bit of it.
Am I the only one who absolutely LOVES them? They are one of my top 5 Black Love couples!!!🩷🩷🩷
Mine too
Yess! I love them as well. So inspiring!❤
I am here for some Tab & Chance❤
I love them so much!!
No, that the only one!! Love them both!! 💕 ❤🎉
Tabitha Brown 1.01M!!!! Congratulations!!!🎉🎉🎉
I am not married, but these conversations do help me to understand how to approach my relationship thanks alot to both of you ❤❤
Can I just say that I LOVE the way the two of you laugh, giggle and lean on each other while doing so. It reminds me of that young, teenage puppy love except it's the mature, grown version, which has stood the test of fire and come out stronger on the other side.
I like that you're honest about your trials and how you almost didn't make it. It gives hope to those of us who are in the fire right now and wonder if we're going to make it.
Not all relationships can survive, especially when there is abuse and cheating, etc.. However, there are some relationships that are worth fighting for but sometimes we don't have the tools and the patience.
Keep on loving each other and laught together until you cry 😂🤣. I won't call you 'couple goals' but I will say that you are inspiring.
Blessings ❤
I swear they be weak 😂😂
Well said ❤
Perfectly stated.
Why won't you call them couple goals? Just asking.
@@ibiminaabiye257 I don't call any couple "goals" because I do not get to truly, fully witness any couple.
When a couple is content with one another they can be this vulnerable...
Beautiful
Chance is right. We get it. We don’t need to know the details. Sometimes too much will cause people to look at you differently. But make no mistake, you all give good advice & have helped so many of us. I’ve been married 40 years & have learned some great things from you. Things I didn’t necessarily realize. You all are hilarious too! Thank you & God continue to bless you! 💕💕💕
😮բլ չ չ նի բ
Thank you for this conversation ❤ it was needed, I am 18 years married and I watched this with my husband. We were able to see each others side ❤ I apologized and now we can move forward.
Watching the video made it less awkward and we were able to listen and not feel alone on this topic ❤ Thank you Tab
Tears thank you for this I’m 57 married 36 years to my one and only since high school I’ve been through it all this is so healing for me thank for opening up so personally you are helping a multitude of relationships!
Hi Lisa. I just watched this. I just turned 60 April I'm married to my 1st love also from high school it will be 39yrs in 2wks. Been such a lonely sad life, I stay for my grandchildren now I have 5 for the same reason I stayed for our kids, we created this family & I honour & respect that. Our kids know nothing about what went on. I shielded them. Now I pray everyday that God continues to give me the strength because that's what I need. I don't need anything else I gave up hoping for the other good stuff I feel God already knows. I stopped crying but I find lately some thoughts are coming back & I do have a little moment. Sorry for this long message I pray God gives You Strength like I ask for myself, Bless You.
@shawshank6015 Wow..OMG..I guess in so many words you are thinking about leaving. I don't know anything about your financial situation but if it's in tact go ahead and leave. You deserve to be happy 🤷♀️❤
@@lynntodd2845 Hi Lynn thank you for your comment, yes you are right I am finally thinking of leaving. Thanks again for your kind words.
@shawshank6015 Your welcome 🙏🙏❤️
@@shawshank6015Hi, I don't know your scenario, but there are such advancements in martial counseling and encouragement and wisdom for being a better spouse, takes a chance. Maybe your husband would like to join you in living some of those dreams.
This right here was Everything!!! As a married woman in her late 30's, with children, this issue has come up, and your experiences showed me I'm not alone. Thank the Lord Jesus for your transparency Tabitha and Chance. Thank you. You have no idea how your honesty and transparency helps others understand how to fix issues people tend to be embarrassed about, or if not, simply don't want to discuss because it is uncomfortable. But its it's Real and Raw in what we call Marriage. Because of how you both let God use you, I have learned what I needed to learn. My spouse and I will sit down and watch this together. This was needed. 👍🏽
By the way I laughed so hard along with both of y'all in this episode, especially with Tab because I was like girl yes me too 😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂! And Chance helped me to understand my husband better then I thought I did when it comes to this. Yep overall great show👍🏽
Totally agree!!!
I'd love for you all to discuss how you adapt to changes in your relationship. If one person evolves, how does your spouse receive the "new and improved" you although they haven't changed? For instance, if you were typically more passive and become outspoken. Also, how can you encourage your partner to hear you instead of just listening? Love these discussions ❤.
I LOVE THIS WHOLE THING. The discussions, the fun, the teasing, jokes, you lovely black ppl...the whole thing. Thank you for making this channel!
When she swung that hair, and Chance just moved it outta her way...I lost it!!😂😅 I KNEW, this gonna be a GREAT segment!!🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾👌🏾👍🏾🤗
My father-in-law has ALS as of now, and your testimony is definitely what I needed because we are going through this right now, and it is the toughest thing that we are going through. We are in year 5. Our marriage is almost destroyed, and this is truly helping me out. God Bless. I believe we will make it. You all should come to Fort Myers in southwest FL on your tour if he leads you that way.
💜Give yourself and one another grace. "In sickness and in health," didn't specify whom. See everything through with good intentions and like actions. You two will be just fine. 💜
So glad y'all made it through the tough years, because y'all are beautiful now!
It's the "add the n't" for me!😂❤ Gotta be honest... I haven't seen many couples like Hubby and I. You two are an incredible voice for not love... but Black love, 20+ year marriage, compromise, and joy! Keep being beautiful!!!! May Lord continue to bring success, great health, and good wealth!❤
"not only love"
I don't think you understand how awesome it is that you bring these conversation topics to the forefront because when you stand for God sometimes people don't want to actually get into specific topics but with your courage confidence it helps me along my journey in the spirit world 🎉❤ he helps me to not feel guilty for having desires and it helps me to understand that just because you are for God does not mean that you don't deserve satisfaction🎉🎉🎉🎉
I love the authenticity of this conversation. This is what maturity looks like. This type of discussion with your spouse is also a part of the intimacy between partners. ❤
This was a much needed conversation.. there is a lot of growth in you guys, it's obvious! But most of all the maturity of you guys listening (actively listening).. keep pushing.. keep moving forward... TOGETHER!!❤❤❤❤
Sister Tab you are a mischievous mess! And I mean that in the most respectful good hearted way! Thank you to both of you for sharing this with us. This is so very needed. Very healing. Thank you.......Mrs. C. Lee
This conversation and transparency is a much needed one! I feel like if my husband and I had someone speak so open early on in our relationship, this would have helped us tremendously in avoiding some arguments and very heated moments❣ Normalizing men to be vulnerable and don't cut them down or call them weak, as it may be a scar you may never be able to repair!!❤🥰
You guys are a blessing. Your vulnerability will be a breakthrough for others.
I appreciate the transparency! Real conversations that partners need to be having!
He said ENOUGH....company time over😂😂😂😂😂 love EVERY bit of yall
Thanks for being YOU!!!❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
I like how you both admitted to some very rocky past years together. It speaks a lot to resilience, commitment, and sometimes sacrifice all playing a crucial role in a successful marriage. I’m glad you arrived at a place of continual love and happiness. 🥂🎊🍀 And ya’ll are hilarious, btw.😁
🤣🤣 y’all are wild!! Tab was trying to tell all the secrets Chance had to get her quick and bring her back in 🤣🤣🤣Love this episode!!
😮😂😂
In marriage it does get challenging, especially when your parents are aging and have health problems needing care it's very difficult I really appreciate you all honesty!!
Tab is a WHOLE GROWN WOMAN❤LOVE HER!
Tabitha you guys crack me up. I enjoy your conversations. GOD BLESS YOU BOTH
I have so much respect for this episode. When I was married to my husband, he had to initiate the sex because one time I initiated it and he rejected me. I was devastated. I love you boths' transparency and years of going through your trials and tribulations; now at the point of sharing. That is so awesome. I was married for 13 years, divorced and have been single for 12 years. At this point in time, you can help a lot of couples because you have years and moments under your belt. Some people are married for 2 days, and now they want to write books and have seminars. No. Get some experience, have about 100 fights, then come talk to the people, AMEN!
VERY WELL SAID!!!!!
I'm over here 😂😂😂😂 sooooo hard my stomach hurts... I love the way yall keep it real... Folks need to hear it straight. It's not TMI cause some folks just don't know what to do or say when faced with these types of situations...
I needed this episode SO BAD!!!!! Thank you for making this.
@queenlex4138 100%agreed
Love you both so much! Thank you for this very adult conversation on love relationship & sex ❤️ that really helped me. I so appreciated hearing from another long term married couple, and all that you've been through that also mirrors our experience. It made me feel less alone as a couple. Thank you Tab & Chance!! Appreciate you both for your honesty, your light and your love for each other, and making a positive difference in the lives of others. So inspiring!! 😊🎉❤❤🥰🙌🏼🙏🏼🫶🏻
This hit home in a lot of areas of my marriage. I’ve learned ALOT and hope to have this conversation with my husband. Got me in tears. 😭😭. Thank you Tab and Chance for being transparent. Love you both ❤
My husband just passed away suddenly May 11, 2023 at the age of 51 - we had only been married 7 years. I so wish we could've seen this before he passed, because we still had unresolved issues over this very topic. It is the hardest grief to bare knowing that we couldn't resolve what was actually just a normal season of marriage that just needed better communication and more patience with each other. I pray you continue sharing these REAL marriage discussions. There are truly needed, valued and often not discussed in the "real" way that you share. Many continued blessings, much success and a million years of marriage to you.
Sorry for your loss.. ❤
❤
My condolences, so sorry for your loss 🙏🙏
Makes perfect sense. Time changes things and then things can change back. As women Theres health, chores? Tiredness and then surgery and kids get grown. We totally ready again.
Thank you for being a source God can use to heal the world. And he gave a partner who together you and he can heal the universe!
Both should initiate. Mates like to feel wanted. Desire is desire, especially for the one you love. ❤😊👌🏾
Their transparency is amazing and I love to see couples laughing. So inspiring ❤🙂
topic idea: I would love to know what attracted yall to each other back then vs what you appreciate about each other now? Love the videos btw!
It’s the smiles for me!!!! Joyful moments
I always let my husband make the first move, until he stopped,and acted like I didn’t exist anymore , so now things have turned around, so now I dress up , make up, and make 1st 2nd and third move. Trust me it works 🎉
Great subject, it’s a sensitive subject.
The rejection can go both ways. Men can also reject their partners. Seems everyone thinks only women say no. I see Chance’s side. I cringed a little when Tabitha called it an excuse that he fear rejection. It’s real and it was a painful time. It’s human nature to avoid what hurts. I agree with Tab when she says women feel automatically it must be them when their partners don’t initiate or reject. It is a huge ego blow to women. Because I assure men there is more than one man who wants your woman.
The key is mutual honoring. Tab & Chance thanks for being so open & vulnerable. Your relationship is beautiful. The years of struggle have put a lovely shade of love on you too! ❤
I loved this conversation with my whole heart! I wished I would've allowed myself to get to know me when I was younger but then again we are ever evolving. Now, that all my kids are technically adults, I'm getting to know me in this new chapter/space of life. Oh, GOD we thank you! 🙌🏽
Its extremely hard on a marriage where both partners suffer rejection. My husband was abandoned by his mother and didn't know his father. He lacked affirmations. I didn't have my father covering me, but I saw how he treated women. It took God to mend and heal me and my husband. We still are working on ourselves, and this video is eye-opening. Resentment can build up. I wonder if midlife issues of men and menopause in women add to the stress on marriages? I don't need sex often, but my love language is TOUCH. He can go daily. I prayed my husband wouldn't step out because I've had surgeries. He had a few as well, but i made sure I was all in because I love him and dont wanna start over with someone else after 30 years😅.
I love how the two of you lean into each other. Like a human mountain. The body language is so powerful. Thank you both for sharing ❤️
This conversation was necessary and a blessing. During my marriage we had horrible arguments regarding intimacy. The Female and Male perspectives are imperative. Friday’s with Tab & Chance .. Continue to Bless us..
Reveal:Teach:Heal❤
This is very familiar. I told my husband, we need to start with fourplay, setting the move. My husband said he doesn’t always have to be the one to initiate. I said ok! I always have initiate so, It’s good to have theses conversations with our spouses amen! I’m going to push fourths through the layers of my life amen. Earth 😇😇💜✝️💜🔥🔥🔥
You two are so cute together, you started out so slow on this topic and then it got funny 😂. I like the topic, im sending this to my husband.
Intimacy requires talk, time and togetherness. Too often we try to get to it without these three components. The conversation that the two of you had will clearly hence your intimacy and take it to a different level. It was awesome watching the two of you being vulnerable.
Having a healthy and safe space to have conversations is key. No matter what’s going on or wrong, being able to talk about it and respect each others feelings and perspectives, is so important. Also knowing urself and allowing God to work on u, will help as well. The best thing I did was pray to God and ask Him to work on me so once he changes my husband, I can see the difference. Man He opened up so many doors inside of me. Which resolved sooo many issues in our relationship.
Very mature and much needed conversation... This is probably one of the most profound podcast or RUclips on social media. I love y'all. Tab I understand exactly what you saying. Delilah is overly sensitive 🥺 😂
I swear EVERYBODY need to to watch this video. It doesn't matter what ur relationship status is and age. Cuz MAYNE STUFF CHANGE! This is a great conversation starter. This cuz be a deal breaker or maker with the right/wrong person.
This conversation had been building within me. 3 years Cancer-free🎉. So glad I was able to forward this. He saw it sometime last night on a bathroom break. The BUSINESS is back! AFTER, I was advised I could have shown him this video before we went to bed.
Can you put out a video on men filling up the spouse's car with gas and emptying out the dishwasher? -Happy and satisfied-Thank you ❤
My parents have been divorced for 40 years. My mom went on to have other relationships for much longer than she was with my Dad. One of the things that I will always remember is; my mom never put gas in her car. Never washed her car. Never had to sevice her car. Never took out the trash and never did yard work. Those are very specific gender roles from a specific time and place but no other man in her life was like that.
I am so glad that this topic was talked about. I thought I was alone by having those seasons of not feeling physically or emotionally connected to my wife. As a man, it’s like you should just take emotional abuse and act like it doesn’t affect you when that’s not true. The male ego is very fragile and when words are spoken and neglect from your personal love one is happening, it’s hard to open up and view your spouse as that beautiful, caring, warm-hearted individual you once knew. I’m currently still healing from the rejection and just being honest with where I’m at.
Chance said don't say that😂I don't want these old ladies in my dms! Great conversation👏🏽 Love y'all❤
Chance, those last couple minutes when you admonished the man and the woman in the relationship, was most powerful, and I pray that both sides listen and heed those words!
Look! We thank you both for the must needed message..my husband and I had a great night because of you all. (Currently 4 months PP and our season is definitely a season) Very insightful and positive words for married folks!
You did His will. I woke up preparing to move today from my home. Looking at all these boxes I questioned my decision. This was the first video that popped up when I logged into RUclips. Thank you for the message. Perfect.
As hilarious as this was, you both dropped some important notes for relationships. ❤