I Paid For A Tarkov Training Service. It Was Epic.
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- Опубликовано: 26 авг 2024
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👉Music by Jippy:
hyperurl.co/q548td
👉Teachers:
/ kwulotwitch
/ keyanin12341
👉Check Out My Podcast:
/ foreheadfablespodcast
Merch►www.shekelscheme.com
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Discord► / discord
Twitter► GeneralSamSec
Instagram►@GeneralSam123
Let’s see about that
Let's see about that
Let's see about that
Let's see about that
Let's see about that
Let's see about that
distinct things sam does
1: eat things when expected to talk and do things
2: wheeze
3: casually lie
i do those 3 things but other than that my voice is completely different lol
4.) Blatantly lie.
5.) Wheeze again
6.) Drink Diet Coke
7.) Gaslight
8.) Betray long-time friends
9.) Sabotage long-time friends' careers
10.) Use psychological warfare to tear long-time friends apart
11.) eat things when not expected to talk and do things and just record himself eating something
Sam: I'm going to hide my distinctive voice
20 seconds later: *DISTINCTIVE WHEEZE*
"Sam?" Sam:".........FUCK."
"I'm eatin' a BLT *wheeze*"
"Is that... Him?"
Voice changer ain’t helping this guy
I absolutely love that they've just commandeered the discord. Thats such a chad move.
No, they saw an unguarded hole and they exploited it: that's rat as fuck.
it is
@@StupidIsMyJob the true rat way
@@prichard6836 Indeed.
@@StupidIsMyJob sheesh sounds like rape! 😳
"I'm eating a BLT."
"Oh My GaWd, ArE yOu GeNeRaL sAm?!"
I mean to be honest it sounds like a Sam thing to do
“Hey Raycon, can I discretely reference spousal abuse or suicide in the ad read? Okay good I’m doin it anyway”
It's his second line of defence, so those headphones had better be pretty fuckin good
I consider buying them watching actual funny ads so I'd say it all works out.
@@pilkington5658 It makes the company feel like they aren't just some corporate entity that worries about offending Karen at every meeting. Even though that's exactly what they are...
Ray J all about dat suicide and domestic abuse, brotha
In his Defense, Cardi B uses them....
It wasn't even his voice that gave him up, he's meeting the one guy for the first time and opens with "uhhmm I'm eating a BLT sandwich."
Seriously doe that gave it up hahaha
I read that at the same time he said it.
*wHeEzE*
Pangolinstirfrylungjuicecough is also such a Sam thing to make up
"If you leave two gay people on the Earth, It's fucked."
Man, I'm dead.
The Earth would be too if you left it to two gay people.
@@innoclarke7435 but there's 7+ billion of us so i think we'll be right.
Also why would you leave two men on earth we're fucked anyway. dumb point. and before you say 'bUT wHaT if yOU PuT A GaY GUY aND a LESBIAN ON an uniNhabIted PlaNeT?'... they'd reluctantly do it anyway, the argument is dumb.
@@yeahright3630 woooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooossssssshhhhhhh
When?
The man said a literal fact tho lol
15:54 "I don't have space for the intelligence, i am gonna drop this LEDX thing...", guys go "NO NO" had me dead
I love how his friends go "nah, Sam, they're going to recognize you" and he doesn't buy it and then like three minutes in they're like "you sound like General Sam".
i burst out laughing when he froze the frame, walked onto the screen and went “FUCK.”
It's called comedic timing. Almost always effective when used properly.
@@Traster_Bean what would this jew know about comedy? we just laugh at him
“You sound like General Sam”
*Walks on screen*
That dude was hustlin tho. Ready to go in two hours to give you a professional gamer training experience.
I love how these guys are actually telling him how to play lol. I love it. They probably learned Reserve from watching General Sam lol
We didn’t, me and marzz played this game since 2017
no one is learning anything from sam besides how to get quick cash dude
@@spenny1267 The man himself😂
@@spenny1267 holy shit it's the man himself
@@spenny1267 being in a general sam video as long as you boys would be my magnum opus i swear
I love how he tried to “mask” his voice and Sam has the most distinctive wheeze ever, Sam has ludicrous levels of lung capacity he can wheeze with enough gusto to knock down a house.
hahaha
Probably because he holds all his air in his massive forehead for maximum wheezing.
I blame him for the fact that i now super wheeze laugh. Like before it was mainly a regular laugh with a little wheeze at the end, NOW I SOUND LIKE A DYING ASTHMATIC. Which ironically I am.. So I don't know my own point anymore.
Forget about the big bad wolf, it's all about the big bad rat.
how do you think his ancestors escaped uncle addy's easy bake oven? they held their breath for 9 hours and then dug their way out of the waste pit....
the raycons work! While I did feel the unwanted energy from cardi b it still was enough to block out all family dilemmas. My wife ceases to attempt to talk to me about Sara because of the really cool and vibrant color of the red pair. You might ask, "who's Sara?" My wife does too. But not anymore. Thanks Raycon.
Underrated
Good vibes only
Raycons are overpriced bullshit.... They just rebrand cheap Alibaba headphones^^
@@dr.doppeldecker3832 And AirPods aren’t?
@@jerm2332 why you ask me that? I never claimed Airpods are better or worth their price.
"We'll I'm not supposed to go outside for the next few months sooooo.....sometime between now and then?" Lost it at that one
Now Sam just needs to hire a few gamer girls to join him and we can have a whole classroom next video
I see you're going for the top comment again
He can tell the girls that he likes their hair and that he wants to harvest it to fix his receding hairline. That's my go to line when I'm trying to pick up chicks. I offer this pro strat freely, from one man to another.
@@samusaran3393 I don't have a father figure so I try to be funny so Sam will notice me and become it
@@manictiger holy shit lol
@@GaKoPop That I will support
Anybody can be a professional gamer, they just have to charge for it on fiver
@Vol that is why we need communism
lets see about that
@@bigchief7900 or maybe.... capitalism is fine.
Tarkov has no pro. Streamers are not pros
@@bigchief7900 Why? You don't enjoy getting money for performing a service? You would prefer working for the government in the hope that they just give you what you want? Spoiler: They won't.
“The only down side is Cardie B uses them.”
That Russian music in the back ground when he's talking about splitting the loot equally damn near made me piss meself
*changes voice
"do i still sound like Sam?"
"absolutely not"
*changes voice back to normal Sam voice with the slightest hint of a telephone filter
"that should do it"
His first voice change was perfect then he changes it back to Pretty much to what he sounds lile normally.
Especially anytime he laughs. It’s a dead giveaway.
@@MrEL91N the infamous W H E E Z E
Digger WAS. Private Paul in freier Wildbahn ich glaub es hackt.
I love Sam laughing at his own jokes all the way through the add read
Got Rick and Morty Vibes from it. OMG! Sam is Justin Roiland! He HAS a voice changer! It's all a big facade! The lies! The liiiees!
@@manictiger Did you seriously just post cringe
@@manictiger why would you say anything like that
@@manictiger I'm genuinely offended. Restrain from speaking like this ever again.
@@manictiger lmao
"Let me just drop this Ledx thing." NONONONO had me rolling lol
Cardi B using the same brand headphones I use is legitimately a down side, and I appreciate you recognizing it.
I feel like Marrz is just FungleToe’s older brother
BungaBoy leave my homie marrz alone
I always call FungleToe, FungleBitch always gets a little annoyed
ye me too
maybe I am 0_o
this thread
Sam: are hacks bad?
The trainer: *let's* *have* *a* *chat* *about* *why* *we* *need* *communism*
Jay The JoJoLoser bruh
I literally read this as the anthem starts I was so confused
rylan bovetsky :)
rylan bovetsky A true comrade I see
Disco Elysium is leaking
Sam: I'm gonna disguise my voice.
Also Sam: (Just applies static to headset mic) Boom, disguised
I rage quite EFT yesterday. It was so damn confusing playing with 4 people I never met. I knew 10% of what I actually practically needed to know even after hours of study. This dude actually did fairly good.
Sam: speaks
:
Sam: eats
: you sound like general Sam bro
_fat_
Oh lawd he COMIN
they are calling him fat
it was the wheeze 100%
Sam weezes. Dude it's totally General Sam
"Split the money and items evenly."
It's been dibs, first-come-first'served, and yoinks with my friend group for a year now and it works just fine for us. We only share if we're out of space on our own loot lmao.
being a seasoned tarkov vet i cannot express how much i loved this video i laughed so much like im pretty sure this was one of the most factual youtube videos i have ever watched like props i dont comment often but this s hit was fucking gold dude
Sam: *Smacks Lips*
“Bro you sound like General Sam!”
Is that the real arthur morgan?!
@@lucaswelsh9020 No it's Fenton in disguise
LENNY1l
@@lucaswelsh9020 Tacitus Kilgore, actually
The guy changed his name, so how my comment looks like a shitpost
Sam: “show me how the pros do it.”
Pros: “well you basically kill people.” *dies instantly*
The way of the rat is being engaged in combat, but slowly, as you learn your loot path, you BECOME the engager! Oh what's that? It's exactly 4 minutes into raid? Someone is going to be here at this angle, or that angle. BAM, killed someone and now you're safe to rat around some more. Use their equipment for the next run! Rinse repeat, ez money.
@@jesseroberts1041 I'm a rat until someone gets into my looting area, then it's them or me. So them most of the time.
@Kia El the solution is if its dumb but works its not dumb
@@jesseroberts1041 yeah, not really. If you know the spawns you get make guesses at where someone might if they spawned in one of the possibilities around you, but it's nowhere near exact. Especially since move speed depends on gear and how much endurance their character has.
@@colby1398 Yeah, I’ve learned a bit more since then lol. Either way, gotta know where others spawn. Goddamn reserve spawns lol
Learning about spawn points and items value off the start would save so much time and frustration for new players. If you are in trouble, there are many ways you can react that doesnt necessarily imply being a good shooter.
"we split the money equally" *Sees my friend loot a guy I shot* "it's time to put you down timmy"
did the second part more than once xD
Just think about the rabbits
Aka communism
When the trainer said there were downsides to being a rat I could just feel sams anger increase In an instant
His forehead got bigger when he said that
@@tomlenid699 damm
The master becomes the learner.
What is a teacher without a pupil? Does this work here?
the first dudes seemed like they actually kinda wanted to help people lol. they were both shockingly nice even before they knew it was you lul.
Nice pfp
“I can drop this LEDx”
“NO”
coach : see it's all about the ammo
sam : WRONG, It's all about that dough, you need to walk like a rat, hide like a rat, you need to BE the rat.
Sokushi it’s all about ammo
@@keyani, ammo's nice and all but what really matters is that rat loot.
“When are you available? When are you free?” Sam: “well I’m not supposed to go outside in like a couple months So whenever. 😂😂
Poison damage
that wouldve been the point for me to recognise him xD
I am on my second day of playing the game, and I follow the way of the rat.
I never run towards gunfire, I crouch towards it slowly, giving them time to kill each other and move on. The more gunfire the better, that means more loot than the victor can carry. Sneak in, pick up anything left behind and scurry towards extraction. I'd rather be rich and cowardly than a brave warrior with nothing but a single pistol and 3 rounds of ammo in my stash.
Yeah pretty much the first month of my Tarkov
I have like 10 pistols in my stash. Me and my friend only go in with pistols. Squeek squeek motha fuckas
hello knife runs till lvl 10 but dont tell anyone
@@DatCheeseCake bring in gear how are you afraid of losing pixels?????
@@aapharambo1862 you sell everything you loot? Do you know how to use pixels?
I’ve never seen a general sam video, but I really didn’t think I’d get; dark humour on modern RUclips, wholesome content, and legit gameplay. Hearing him mess around with the first coaches, and be nice with them while still cracking jokes, and still playing with them once they found out. I haven’t enjoyed a video this much in a while.
"Dropping Tarkov was the hardest thing ive ever had to do"
I don't think he meant he would never play again but that he doesn't want to be "that tarkov RUclipsr"
I listened to that podcast just ten min ago.
@@hantront which one? Link/timestamp?
J.Yossarian the one with stimpee
@@j.yossarian6852 search interview with the guy addicted to gay porn
"Pengolin stirfry lung juice cough" or as I say "the way to say Coronavirus on RUclips and not get demonized"
Aka Yung Lung
Apparently talking about Pangolin stirfry in the comments also hurts videos in the algorithm so just tryna protect our boy Sammy here
our overlords will take care of us
just caught that wtf
I just fucking realized lmfaoo
15:37- “you see this here, you do a jump and use middle mouse button.” Legit had me dying when he did that. In font of them
When my man played the Russian anthem during homeboys "we should share everything" speech.... I lost my shit.
Raycon trying to run a legitimate business and make money:
Sam: So I'm gonna talk about porn, murder-suicide, and Cardi B
Raycon: Yeah that's fine
Sam: "the E25s-"
Also Raycon: "THE EVERYDAY E25s!!"
Lol why do they think people would be dumb enough to think they only work some days of the week?... looks at Twitter* never mind I guess they have a point...
Well, they should known better than to ask the Rat King to support their product ;)
Hahaha yeah nah but for real, Sam has some of the most entertaining ad reels on RUclips 😂
They have a history of sponsoring content creators with lets say questionable content and thats why they are great. Most sponsors are scared off by swearing
@@Myemnhk part of me is convinced that that's just youtube's excuse for not monetizing creators they don't like. gotta be partially true at any rate
Sam get recognized right away.
Sam: “Is it the hat?”
20:58 the fact that RUclips put an ad in right here just makes it so perfect
I met a guy in the eft discord and he was really good at teaching I got the game 2 days ago and he legit told me everything about everything in the menu and game before we even started doing stuff in my stash
This is the second time Sam has talked about murdering his kid(edit: wait was it three one in this and twice during the podcast I think I forgot one)
Once is nothing. Twice is a coincidence. Three times is well...
Watch his podcast dude talks about it all the time
@@thedukeofdorks6001 I do watch the podcasts and one of the times was in the podcast
Where does he talk about murdering his kid in this?
@@me4tgr1ndr when he says that his second option for avoiding his family you would be able to read in the obituaries. But this could also very well be him saying that he would kill himself
i feel like you should be doing the training sam, as the rat king of tarkov
I would love to be taught in the ways of the Rat. Without Sam's tutelage I find myself to be a pretty proficient Rat.
Just watch a few of his previous videos cause thats all the free rat training you need
I'd pay for your training services, sounds similar to the in-game tutorial.
DUDE! Laughed my ass off watching this a year after, so great. THANK YOU!
4:13 Euros?! EUROS!? These are her Majesty's Great Britain Pound!
**sips tea angrily**
do you really expect sam to know a currency outside of tarkov economics...
Euros are wack, GBP all the way
Pounds are shit. Euros for the win
That triggered me too
If I were a tarkov coach and I found out big daddy Sam was trying to pay me to coach him, I would immediately double or triple my price. As a jew, I think he would appreciate my hustle
So many scheckels!!!
lol, I just discovered your channel last night, and I def have to agree with everyone, you really have a distinct voice. And honestly, your comic timing, sense of humor and general laid-back nature, combined with entertaining and informative content, have earned you another sub.
Coaches: Imma send you my pay-pal, how long do you want to play?
PangolinStrifyLungJuice: I'm eating a BLT *medium wheeze*
Coaches: Yo its general Sam
I could hear the smile in his voice when the two guys recognised him lmao
"They won't recognize my voice" *5 seconds later mouth full of food* "Hey I'm eating a BLT"
19:48 no wait wait, he has a point here.
Hehe
Sam: “how am I gonna disguise my voice?”
Also Sam: *gets high*
The second dude is a chad. Talkinn about ammo off the rip. I like him already 5* service
Alan Crome thanks! :D
just some dude without moustache hold up
Getting paid to play with General Sam, and be in his videos.
Furness Prime it’s a great pleasure
I too have a RUclips channel and while it isn't anything close to having the subs and views of your channel Sam, I must thank my friend for introducing me to your channel for you have some of the most hilarious videos that are definitely worth my while! Lmao, this video was hilarious! Thank you! I have gladly subbed! Take care. =)
OMG glad this popped up in my recommended, I suck at Tarkov but my god I need to follow your course 4 days ill be a master. I mean i die anyway but at least I'd know the best items to grab, thanks General Sam you're the shit. Subbed.
“Check those prostates” -General Sam 2020
daily
Hourly
WHEZZE
Depends how deep I gotta go to check it
His alt account reminds me of every Xbox generated username.
Pretty sure it's whatever he coughed up right after realizing he needed a new discord account
It sounds like Coronavirus
Sam: sees Pound sign £, reads Euros €
Me: *flips table in European*
riot
@@EjvindGEMDark oof
17:06 thats how ai Angeles voice was made
"Does he have a really distinct voice or something?" 😂
You can tell he was having a good time with that ad read
General Sam went from 0 to nearly a Million Subs in no time, he's the funniest Tarkov RUclipsr .
He had 600k before he started playing tarkov (regulary I know he has been playing since it was first available)
"You hear a rusky, snort some smack mixed with gunpowder, I want you to be able to tell me what dilapidated shit hole building he's doing it in" 😂😂
I had my first prostate exam a few years back, at 19. I can recommend, my neighbor Eric was a really gentle and considerate guy. When the drugs wore off, he had left me a cup of tea, though sadly I never saw him again.
He sounds like a nice guy. Reminds me of my middle school principal :)
Nothing beats a General Sam tarkov vid. Only thing missing in this vid is you just tearing into aqua. Warms my heart
ruclips.net/video/ow_7uCgcB6g/видео.html
He says a sub was looking for subpar tarkov content and ended up on aquas channel
He mentioned aqua loads in this video
I’m a brand new player to this game. I think the hardest part is understanding the extract points and how they work it took me a good 2 weeks to understand why some extract worked and some didn’t along with that navigating the customers map was hard. As a new player I got so mad when you run around the map for 40min but can’t figure why each extract won’t work or can’t find it and then get killed with only a knife, I think I’m going bald
Everyone seems to forget that last part. It's so easy now to just team up with someone through voip the you use them as a pack mule/meat shield until you get to the exit then you murder them 😂
This is the only man I'd let train me on the ways of the rat
I actually like these guys. For real, they should get business.
I know spenny guy lmao
@@louiswallwork Do you? Cause I do aswell :p
Thanks man :)
@@mssed3031 oH HEY marrz
@@mssed3031 oy vey
Coach: “how many hours you looking to play?”
Sam: “I’m eating a B.L.T”
The russian national anthem at 21:30 took me out 😂😂😂😂
I like when every other yter goes online, people be like
"Are you him?"
"No. Jk i am him"
"Nah i dont believe you"
When sam does it its like
"Are you sam?"
"No, whos that?"
"Nah theres no way youre not him"
“Cardi B uses them” 💀
1:15 his fan is going mach speed
Naw it’s just the shutter speed making it look weird
i have never been more proud to be british when he said "quid"
For those interested in learning tarkov, there is the Tarkov Sherpas program, exactly this idea, but both free and official.
PRO coaches: "ready to learn with the best?"
LungiesCough: Lets see about dat
*both PROs die in t-minus 5*
people forget its Tarkov.
I don't even play Tarkov but I'm obsessed with general Sam's videos
YCombinator is a venture capital company. They give $125k to small businesses and coach them on how to capture more venture capital, in return for a share of future profits. They give money to all sorts of things. If you could make a business model they thought had any merit at all, they'd give you money too Sam.
“The only down side cardi b uses them” god I love this guy
>"affordable as hell"
>$79.99 with discount
We're not all made men, Mr. Money Bags ;-;
Didn't get your Trump bux?
@@Uhg56 not everybody lives in the US
Hard to get Trumpbux when you don't have a job and didn't file taxes
@@S0REN_ hey i think we found your problem
Upside to paying taxes- 1st time ever in history... Trumps actions are so bad - please detect my sarcastically spoken words
>I dont have that distinct of a voice
>almost immediately gets recognised
I can only think like you do when I'm drunk. I'm drunk right now. I fucking love it.
You can pay for Pros to train you in Tarkov
*LETS SEE ABOUT THAT*
Since I don't want to answer everyone's song requests here are all of the *Your Best Friend Jippy* songs in order:
(0:01) Confidentiality - Beat Tape 30
(0:33) Space Traveller _ Beat Tape 29
(2:40) Microcosmic - Beat Tape 31
(4:46) Back to It - Beat tape 31
(6:04) Mechanic - Beat Tape 31
(8:00) With You - Beat Tape 31
(8:41) gonnaloveyouanyway - Beat Tape 29
(10:33) LOOK OUT! - Beat Tape 23
(11:48) COULD BE US - Beat Tape 23
(13:16) FREEDOM - Beat Tape 23
(15:56) LIED TO ME - Beat Tape 23
(17:58) RAINBOW - Beat Tape 23
(19:52) Phone Call - Beat Tape 30
(21:58) See For Yourself - Beat Tape 31
(25:17) With Me There too - Beat Tape 31
Swarky goat
Swarky thank god for you sir 🥺
You’re a god👍
What about.... The black prince
What’s at 23 minutes?
Here I am waiting for sam establishing his own Tarkov school.
General Sam makes ads I actually want to watch. The damn ad was the funniest part of an already great video.
"Seven EUROS an hour" *ANGRY BREXIT NOISES*
Oi bruv
Bro, the Brits weren't using the Euro before Brexit
@@lucas82 they still don't use em
GBP..