Knowing When to Quit...
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Question: Why would you try to campaign the Democrats?
Rich, the credit card companies are owned by the banks and corporations that control the politicians...it's a relentless game of giving them more control and removing the average citizens freedoms.
Ask yourself a simple question: is this a dead-end road? When you drive semi trucks you learn very quickly to plan 3, 4 steps ahead.
Guys! I've lost 12 years of my life on a pathetic relationship and 5 years on a shitty job.
The reasons were I was STUPID not to end the relationship sooner (and blind),and I was AFRAID to change the job,considering how fucked up it is these days in the whole world and insecure.
Last year I got rid of her,this year I finally plan to get rid of the job aswell and move onto a new adventure. I saved some money in the piggy bank too. I got rid of one disease,now it's time to get rid of the other one!
Guys,don't be afraid to make a drastic move when it's needed!
Nice work, best of luck sir
So happy for you! Never too late to start living!
Chin up bro! Good on you. You got this!
Good for you bro, thats king mentality and inspiring younger brothers to not doing the same thing🫡
Its a great lesson
I wouldn't call it quitting but rather cutting your losses.
Great video Rich as always
I have always put it in terms of “Does she add, or subtract to my life?”.
That's a good way to look at it@@stevec3526
It's allowing yourself to "win"... Sometimes "quitting" is necessary if the situation is causing you to have problems or fail.
I agree. Relationships are an investment in the future. When investments start going South you cut your losses. Relationships are transactional. When you aren't getting anything out of the relationship, it's time to move on. His red flags idea is the best way to cut your losses sooner, and therefore not have children in a failed investment, which has become toxic.
You need to be careful of the sunk cost fallacy.
If you don't know when to quit the quit will come to you. This is one of the lessons of life I've learned the hard way.
wise words
I once had a relationship with an alpha woman. She was a radical feminist lawyer with a psychology degree. Super smart, very attractive. But, after the honeymoon phase it became apparent that I had become her enemy and that I was never going to make her happy. She was a deeply unhappy person who had limited capacity to compromise so I had to walk away. It sucked badly at the time because I genuinely loved her. But sometimes love isn't enough and you have to walk.
Radical feminist lawyer, what could go wrong? A little misandry on her part?
@stevec3526 I'm a lawyer and it only took my first month of law school in the 90s to realize there were no marriageable women there. In fact I would venture to say that female attorneys are the most aggressive beings without a penis.
She didn't use time to damage your life afterwards?
bet she will never be in a happy relationship
It probably raised your self respect
I dated a mid 30s "alpha" female. I describe that relationship as dragging a freight train through a keyhole. She was gorgeous, the sex was good, and I was "in love". That's why I hung in there so long. Stupid! Eventually, my mental health was affected, I notice that I was always stressed, anxious, and angry when I was around her. No matter what I wanted, she always wanted something different. She never did get married and still lives alone 30 years later.
that’s always the story 😂😂 They can’t maintain long term relationships because even the people who love them enough to stay with them eventually get tired of their bullshit.
@@gutta9922100% bruh
You felt those head winds blowing and moved on
Smart
A better life ahead
Excuse me but what is an alpha female ?
From Serbia, just never heard this before
@@motorsV12 it’s a term made up by western women to describe a woman that is not very feminine or agreeable. The purpose of this term is to make her sound more appealing to men. In reality most of us use this term out of convenience as there is no such thing as an alpha woman.
Starting 2024 with a strong mindset.
Loving my family….
Money is important…
Women are replaceable 💪🏼
Goated comment!!
And just to add, even if you did meet a good lady and things are clicking, you have to protect your heart. Unless you are exclusive with her, there will always be more than you just talking to her.
Be careful the unicorn women aren’t replaceable 😂 I’ve seen guys run into them and cheat on them and then regret it😭
Everyone is replaceable, even guys with a strong 2024 mindset.
@@chrisstone2506 Agreed. They don’t even need to be replaced. A network of family and friends will do.
I tried to restore my marriage with my ex wife for a year and a half and it ended in her accusing me of abusing our daughter. Absolutely disgusting. That's when I walked away. But I should have walked away way sooner...
Beta mindset, scarcity mindset. Do the work
For me, knowing when to quit is simple . If I get any drama or disrespect from her, I'll tell her once not to ever do that again or we're done . Usually they'll behave well for a few weeks but they never change. At that time I just move on .No big deal for me
Right on...Right on. 👍👍👍
Why do you think you deserve respect?
Change takes time. You can't expect someone to change on a flip of a dime. If someone is forgetful, they might improve in a month, but they will have bad days. No one is perfect.
If they are straight up abusive, like they keep hitting you, then that's a whole other topic, though. You should walk away from that.
@vprez4925 Depends on the format of disrespect. Adults shouldn't have to learn not to do alot of things because our society has always had a standard for what is respectable...it's just people don't use it often anymore. Example. Thank you, Please, Sir., Madam,.
@@joygibbons5482 Everyone deserves respect unless and until they exhibit disrespect to you. If the person you are involved with chooses to disrespect you repeatedly, yet continues to be involved with you, then they are the problem. If they really feel that you don't deserve their respect, then they shouldn't even be with you at that point. Why are they still with you, disrespecting you repeatedly, if they truly, actually feel that you aren't worthy of their respect? Because they are the problem, that's why. They are f*cking with your head for their own reasons, trying to see what they can get away with, trying to 'gain advantage' over you in some way. That is the person who truly does not deserve your respect, and should be ditched immediately.
There is a time to quit. Sometimes you HAVE to shut a door in order to open a new one.
Knowing when to quit is like the serenity prayer: accept the things we can’t change - like female nature; change the things we can - like our own behavior; and be smart enough to know the difference - so walk away when we can’t impact the outcome or the outcome is going to be bad. I think a lot of us men struggle with the walking away part as we see it as failure rather than just accepting what is. Like pilots flying into bad weather, sometimes it’s in our best interest to execute the 180 and fly away from the storm.
That is a very accurate and succinct way to phrase that. Thank you.
My mother told me when I was young that I would be presented with battles and I had to pick and choose my battles. I couldn’t fight em all.
I was 6 months sober, just relapsed a day ago. Please pray for me.
SERENITY NOW!!!
Thanks for saying 180. Some us politician said 360 when he meant 180.
People might get emotionally invested in a losing battle because they put so much into it.
The best thing to do is get feedback from a reasonable person with no dog in that fight.
Agreed. No matter how reasonable and logical you are, it's very hard to see clearly when you are in the middle of it.
@@SKBottom see: every best friend ever who told you at the beginning of your misadventure that "she's trouble, you're walking into disaster, stay clear of that one"... and was then disdainfully ignored and cast aside. For a vast majority of men (at least in their younger days), their dick and their heart are their very worst enemies.
I just broke up with my ex and I have to say that I feel extremely relieved each day. I originally told her we could work on things after we take some distance but I know in my heart this is the wrong thing to do. Once our space is up I’m letting her go for good. As much as I love her the red flags are insane and I’m sure I have some as well but I will probably never be in a relationship again. My eyes are opened and I can not unsee certain things
Amen!
Very similar story over here brother, it's like you finally realize the taste of freedom once she is out of your life and nothing could make you go back. Not to mention I still have those dreams I also refer to them as nightmares where she is around and I wake up stressed after 4 months, but they're getting less and less as time goes on. Some women leave a scar and the only way to get rid of it is by being a man and moving on.
@@wildandfreeman94 Been there done that, kind of funny how my perspective has changed regarding women, hard adjustment to make knowing the reality I knew was an illusion. I really want nothing to do with them except sex and even that has lost it's appeal. My Dad once told me "If it wasn't for the way they were built we wouldn't have anything to do with them." He knew how they were but let me experience them for myself. When I look back on my life every heartbreak or problem I ever had was because of a woman.
First off, well done for making the move and happy you are experiencing relief. These emotions will pass so you need to keep the focus on improving yourself and maintaining. Right now you're having ups and downs because you can't unsee things. You need to learn to embrace it in time and recognize it for what it is in the future.
I literally read the 20 Red Flag right before meeting the most recent ex. Ignored all of them just to see how the cookie crumbled. Bad decision.
@@andrewjohn6853 dude thanks for this. I’m having a hard time some days but I always hit the gym. Whenever I felt bad I would go to the gym. Now I’m locked in about 4 weeks in the gym and I’m seeing minor results. A lot of what I do is predicated on revenge and for right now I’m ok with that. I just am very angry each day and I want to stop being mad. I didn’t deserve to be treated how I was treated and I have a hard time because I’m bitter
Knowing when to quit and cut your losses is a Super Power.
🎯 Key Takeaways for quick navigation:
00:00 🚦 *Knowing When to Quit*
- Recognizing the difference between persistence and futile endeavors,
- Importance of understanding when to quit in various aspects of life.
01:33 🔄 *Relationship Challenges and Quitting*
- Personal story of dealing with a difficult relationship,
- Realization of spending life trying to make an unhappy person happy.
04:21 💼 *Business Endeavor and Political Challenges*
- Experience in the debt settlement business and facing challenges,
- Efforts in lobbying against unfavorable regulations,
- Disillusionment with political parties and bureaucrats.
06:38 📚 *Learning When to Quit: Insights from a Book*
- Introduction to the book "Too Bad to Stay, Too Good to Go" by Kirschner,
- Key takeaway from the hurricane analogy: If a situation feels like walking into hurricane force winds and doesn't show signs of improvement, it's time to quit and move on.
08:18 🔄 *General Advice on Knowing When to Quit*
- Practical advice on recognizing when a situation is akin to walking into hurricane force winds,
- Enduring challenges vs. making a strategic pivot,
- Emphasizing the importance of assessing if the difficulties are temporary or long-term.
Made with HARPA AI
Along the same line, Machiavelli stated that "War cannot be avoided; it can only be postponed to the other's advantage". Best describes the more recent issues in my marriage. Avoiding conflict by trying to please her (telling her she your rock, your soulmate, the love of your life, etc.) instead of dealing with bad behavior is counterproductive.
Its not what she says, its what she does that counts. It wasn't until I put my foot down and made it clear that while I and my family didn't ask for this, we get to decide how we move forward. When you are afraid of losing someone or your family, you will not make the decisions necessary to fix the problems.
"You got to know when to hold 'em. Know when to fold 'em. Know when to walk away. And know when to run." Kenny Rogers- The Gambler Lyrics.
I had a naive optimism when I was young. I thought that given time difficult people would grow, evolve, see the light, etc. I don’t think I encountered a single situation where that happened. People are generally to rooted in their ways and their egos to consider making changes to them. If a situation doesn’t seem to be working for some reason, it likely never will. Your best bet is to start considering your options asap. This may sound kind of pessimistic, but it is realistic from my experience.
I have never quit on anything major in my life. My first career, my relationships with women, family members that bring drama.... It has brought me much unhappiness in life, many decades of feeling like I was living in the howling winds of 'the hurricane'. My life has not turned out 'as promised' for being a 'decent, hard working, dependable guy'. I read a quote that I found brutal that said, 'Sometimes we have to walk away from those we love most to save ourselves'. I have applied this to certain elements of my life and the relief and freedom has given me peace in those elements of my life. I totally get this concept, but acknowledge 'taking that leap' can be 'fear greater than the wolf itself'.
Wise words brother
I'm of the same mindset of not quitting. Three words I removed from my vocabulary in my 20s were h@te, can't, and quit. I lived my life for a decade by the principles in "Extreme Ownership" by Jocko Willink. However, as I've entered my mid-30s, I realized there were business endeavors and friendships that I held onto that were sinking ships and energy draining. Great message for starting 2024 on the right foot.
That book is incredible - kudos
I don’t call what you’re describing ‘quitting.’ It is more like recalibrating, reorienting, refocusing one’s efforts. When flowing water runs up against an immovable object it accumulates and then finds another channel to continue the flow. Sometimes the immovable object is worn down in the long run after all. It’s life! Keep up the great work Rich!
Retreating and falling back to live to fight another day is wise
Yeah the Sunken Cost Fallacy is a real thing. I changed careers last year after realizing the juice wasn’t worth the squeeze.
100% this is my situation just now, after 2 years of the relationship, her narcissism and controlling nature became more and more apparent, tried maybe 20 times to fix things without success, feels like having to amputate a limb thats dead that ive been dragging uphill for a while, frustrating and sad but i now realise its the only option now.
I used to call such a woman my albatross. I like how Rich describes it. They are boat anchors.
Women like that require your full submission. She will make your life miserable if you try to lead the relationship. At that point continuing the relationship is a matter of what do you value more your self respect or the relationship.
Another thing I'll add is that when you choose to continue such relationships your confidence and self esteem goes down the drain and it will affect you in other areas of your life. People can sniff out dudes with no self respect or confidence and will walk all over them.
@@observationsincars5083 what’s in it for the woman if you”lead” the relationship at all times? If the expectation that you fully submit is miserable, why expect it to be anything else for her?
@@observationsincars5083 what’s in it for the woman if you”lead” the relationship at all times? If the expectation that you fully submit is miserable, why expect it to be anything else for her?
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How please
I was walking into that head wind for 25 years of a 34 year relationship never wanting to be seen as a quitter. When you do eventually see the light and pull the plug it's very quickly apparent that it was never worth saving.
I think it’s one of the best posts. Knowing when to walk away. 💯
I went through a relationship just like the one rich said word for word identical. You can never have your way and when you do she despises you for it.
I think, at the root/bottom of those kinds of relationships, is a woman that truly hates men, despises you regardless of what you do, and only dates/marries in order to be able to torture the man until they either leave a broken man, or become a submissive puppy fully under their control- at which point you wouldn't be fun any longer, and would get replaced.
Going through this right now. The Webster's Dictionary of alpha female
I've done this several times in my life, to move on. But I noticed people are stubborn and people hate change, some stick to their ways, even when they suck.Some people hate to admit they did/do anything wrong. Some people know their life sucks, but they can't seem to figure out how to get out to a better place.
Like you, I would apply this to everything, to work, to relationships, to friends. If you don't like the thing, you don't like the person, cut your losses, as you said, if it's for a little while, sure, but if it lasts, get out.
Life is about pruning. Cut off the dead ends.
It's incredible that a company designed to help people struggling with debt could be essentially penalized so that the big credit card companies and banks can continue to profit. That, in and of itself, is a topic worth many more discussions.
Gotta be careful with this one. Building a business around encouraging unaccountability needs great study.
@@bernibeckmann9753 Said every greedy credit company ever.
This absolutely applies to women who aren’t interested in you back or play stupid games and waste time I learned a long time ago if I sense any of this bs from dating I walk away asap
I had my own version of this … going through a toxic divorce. Ex used all the tricks… false DV claims ect, I’ve dealt with these well and come out with ‘wins’.
Through lawyers I have done my best to engage with her to sell our home. Her name is on the title so I can’t just sell. 18 months later I have finally quit … can’t get further into debt for her she has been obstructive with the bank so I have run out of options. Now I have to suck it up a loose a shit load of money … but my sanity is worth it.
bummer i know a guy that got taking twice by the same woman.married her bought a house lost it when she split with another dude got pregnant then took her back and lost the next house to her again haha crazy
Everything in life is based on ROI. You have to evaluate everything you do in life and determine what has been ventured and what is to be gained. If the juice ain't worth the squeeze then pivot out of the situation.
It took me ten years in a similar dual ( work/relationship) to fully understand and learn the lesson( s) that you just illustrated. I lost some money and some sleep, but when I came out the other side when all was done, I found myself a much happier and much more stable parson, capable of much more than I ever thought possible. Thank You Brother for reminding me about this crucial, if not critical lesson in life. Have a Great Day!!!
Our new neighbour is 41 and she has 3 boys from 2 or 3 relationships. She was molested at 8 and quit therapy after day one, she quit High School with top marks to take care of a well off Grandma, she got her GED and took nursing and got sick near the end so she quit, she took another course and quit that. She coddles her 11 year old boy who is more like a 5 or 6 year old emotionally, has impulse control, a lack of discipline and wants to quit High School already in grade 6 because it will be difficult. Personally,...... I think I'm looking at a future homeless person OR ......drug addict ??
Can you imagine being in a relationship with this 41 year old ?? MY SAYING : " IF YOU KEEP DEALING WITH PROBLEMS IN A RELATIONSHIP......THEN YOU RELATIONSHIP BECOMES .........................A PROBLEM ! " My other saying is that relationships should be 70% positive,....... 20 % issues and problems and ......10 % crisis like an illness or death or financial . BUT,..... iF your in a relationship is 70 % bad then it's flying an inverted plane so .........RUN !!
This is a topic that I think needs to be talked about more. Thank you Rich for brining this up.
”A man's gotta know his limitations.”
-Dirty Harry
People don't like letting go of something, maybe because they think it's all they've got or can have. Sometimes 'nothing' is better than having what is bad. Vacuums always get filled anyway, other opportunities do come along. The object is to gain self insight and improve on a situation the next time - and not to do the same thing again and again. The problem is seldom the other woman or situation, it's the person looking in the mirror. Change the inner belief system and the external choices change with it too.
Using the word quit can dilute personal power.
Change direction
Make a change
Exit the situation
These represent someone in the driver's seat.
Worked for 2 years at CPA firm, automated every single business service provided and listed on the company website. In place of the partners rewarding and empowering my efforts - they viewed my work and me as nothing more than a workhorse to be exploited. I was not naive enough to allow my work to be stolen , went to lawyers - I got settlements and left.
I did not want to "quit" however, it was clear that working for anyone other than yourself is a complete waste of time.
I never look at ANY relationship as “ quitting “ ….when a TOXIC relationship starts to affect your own MENTAL HEALTH….as much as it might hurt/ walk away with your own DIGNITY… relationships take work & sacrifice on both parties involved. Have enough respect for yourself and your own mental health and well being to move on. God Bless & have a safe, Happy & Healthy 2024 😇🙏
I'm on my second listen of too bad to stay, too good to leave now. Actually found it a few weeks back from one of your older videos. I know what I need to do... I just feel so damn guilty pulling the trigger.
I understand. It sounds like you've identified the first step you need to take in order to put yourself first. Get rid of that guilt.
@SKBottom yep... I even booked a therapy session to try to get over that guilt and why I felt the need to stay because of it for so many years. Prob gonna cancel though. Looked up the therapist I was assigned and it's some morbidly obese women. I can't see myself taking life advice from someone like that lol
Valid points well made, BUT; you’ve omitted another, equally crucial point. That point is that there are situations in which, without persistence, battling doubt etc, you simply will not prevail, and persistence gets the job done when no amount of skill or knowledge is humanly available to know if the successful outcome would be possible.
I dig both stories. I usually myself find myself attracted to successful females. The UNfortunate is they usually are too Alpha. I can see why someone intellectual like yourself could be drawn to that type of woman as well. They usually have great fashion sense and follow great hygiene. The negative can be Alphas both clashing. I’m going to take a year off from Dating and just do the work. I don’t need to exert energy into something external to my own goals.
Happy New Year Rich. Great video. 💯
Grant me the serenity to accept the thing's I cannot change, the courage to change the thing's I can and the wisdom to know the difference. 👌
Cutting your losses after MUCH invested (business OR relationship), IS VERY difficult. The good thing about doing so is the bleeding stops, as well as that persistent lump in your gut.
Really, really good topic.
Know when to HOLD EM' and when to FOLD EM'
The Gambler by Kenny Rogers is a wonderful song full of wisdom in the lyrics, just have a listen and learn it's lesson.
Thanks Rich. I'm slowly learning this skill. I unfortunately spent a long time in life taking pride in not knowing when to quit and many times I think this was to my detriment. Now I'm learning to evaluate things better and find the discipline to walk away instead of the discipline to stick it out.
There's an old song says you gotta know when to hold em and know when to fold em.
This one is GOLD. I LOVE that you outed Jagmeet outright. You hit every single nail that is pinning today's men down on the head. Business, politics, women - guys always have to be on their guard in an emasculating world and cutting your losses is the most important lesson a man can internalize. I often think about the scene in Master and Commander when the captain and some crew had to cut off the mainsail with a crew member clinging to it.
Years ago Gonzalo Lira AKA Coach Red Pill did an excellent video about this subject called the sunk cost fallacy. I think it's still on YT.
hope he's not dead
How timely is this video, amazingly accurate sumary of what im going through at this precise moment.
Even though you are not much older than me be I always look up to you and your advices like a older brother.. thanks for sharing .. I started my life in a completely new country about 10 years ago and made a lots of mistakes but your videos kept me going and I am improving slowly
Great video, Rich! Doing a deeper dive on how to get good at identifying when to quit would make a great chapter in your next book! Perhaps add the sunk cost fallacy. Don't throw good money (and other resources) after bad, the only thing that matters is what you do next, etc. I'd like to hear more of your thoughts on walking away from each type of situation you mentioned because each is different (job, relationship, friendship, etc.).
I'm trying to get better at spotting pre signs before the definite first sign comes along, and calling it.
Nice topic Richard. Refreshing life pointer. 100% content!!!!
Addition by subtraction!
Very pertinent and important topic Rich. Thank You.
The book was called "Too Good to Leave, Too Bad to Stay" by Mira Kirshenbaum.
This one hits home…hard. Thanks for the video, Rich. Time to do a 180°.
Great analogy. Now I know what i have to I do.
Thank you !
Doing hard shit on the regular gives you and adapt sense of learning when to quit. Climbing mountains for example; often it’s hardest just before you reach the summit and you should press on, while other times it goes from bad to ugly.
I like this mindset
Life has its ups and downs: they’re calling hikes, climbing and squats
Great video. Greetings from Belgium.
Tried that in my sailboat one day when a light breeze became a gale. Heeled the boat to almost drowning the boom, lost the motor and broke the tiller. All that 'in the channel' before reaching the lake (Lake Tahoe). Safely moored until the next a.m. Don't kick against the thorns, out maneuver them. 👍😊
That's just given me a great song title.! - Thanks Rich and best wishes for 2024 from your fan's in England.
Great analogy. Working in the wind sucks, especially when it's cold.
So true, I’ll take the heat, cold, whatever. When it’s windy I’m miserable working in it. It triggers me now😂
The Power of Walking Away 💪
Thank you,! So needed to hear this.
This was the best advice that I ever received on the Internet today and this makes a lot of sense and this man has fantastic experience and he is the right man to guide a lot of young men today.
Thank you brother your experience is appreciated
Happy New Years Rich and thanks again for sharing some very valuable insight.
Very good advice. Short term. Communicate ask for change. Long term, no change, bail...
I think your right. I am exactly at this point right now. Thanks for the advice brother.
I consider reading your book for the second time now, very to the point and easy to read resource, thanks Rich.
A concrete video after a long time!
Great topic and one seldom discussed. And once again, very synchronistic in timing for me to hear this
Decided to get a divorce today, then this video popped up. Thank you!
Sometimes when you've been walking into the wind for so long you don't really realize the effects until you get a break away from each other.
Hey Rich, how bout smoking those tires for us once you finnish the video.🤨
Excellent commentary Rich. Very good advice 👌
There's a YT video of a preacher, entitled Let Them Walk, where I found inspiration to recognize when a relationship is too difficult to maintain, despite all efforts, usually just from my side. He says something I try to remember, that if God means for me to have it, He'll give it to me, and if it takes too much sweat, I don't need it.
Amen
Thank you, brother Rich. 👊💯
Air is the element of freedom!
Great video.
Your awesome brother.I wish i had your advice 30 years ago but nonetheless grateful for you now.
Nice video, I like the real life comparison. It was pretty neat grtting a glimpse of what you do for a living also.
Great advice and memorable examples. Thanks Rich
"If you find yourself in a hole, stop digging." ~Will Rogers
Unless you're under fire. Then, by all means and to save your life, keep digging!
I have been there trying to fix unfixable. What a waste of time but the lesson learned.
Such great advice. Simple but logical.
I call it "Getting your Kenny Rogers on". (Know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em.)
A major reason to keep on going is the sunken cost fallacy.
You have invested time, money, energy and when it doesn't work out, it seems at first glance that all this was for nothing (and sometimes it really is just a loss). Then it's better to keep the damage limited, and walk away.
Of course knowing when it's the right time to do so is the difficult part - a question of experience, realism and self reflection.
Knowing when to quite some thing that requires a great effort, that only yields utter nonsense.
THAT, is the true test of a mans prudent, better judgment..
Here is a topic for a future video. I am a newer sub to your channel and I just started reading your book a few days ago. I love the book and your philosophy has awoken me to what women are really about. What is your opinion on dating women whose offspring are no longer in her home. Kids that have grown up, married and have moved on in life. I’m 46, divorced with no kids and I’m finding that a lot of the gals I am interested in have kids in their 20s and are no longer under the same roof. Is that still a no-go zone?
Pleasure yourself, drive a beater, save your money.
Cutting your losses. Turning 50 with bigger regret for not cutting losses in relationships and money, investments than accomplishments. Don't be me. Set a line and throw in the towel when it's crossed. Believe me. Trust that gut, esp when it aligns with some real red flags and alerts to your greater awareness. Don't let idealism and hope take over
Don't be bitter, don't cry over spilled milk. Your "mistakes" write your very own personal story. "Own" your downsides with neither pride nor shame.
No regrets, just learning.
I'm also 50 and have had a rollercoaster of a ride until now. While I have not always followed the right path, I somehow managed to always return to being true to myself.
Knowing when to quit is VITAL to one's survival. Kinda reminds me of the lyrics to the Kenny Rogers song that goes "... know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em, kbow when to walk away, know when to run ..."
Great video, Rich! I too thought about "making a woman happy" when I was younger. Now, I am not so sure it is doable. I can treat a woman well and make her life comfortable, but there was no making my ex-wife happy. She was always disappointed by everyone so much so that people tried at first and then got frustrated and abandoned her.
I am very happy with my current wife. She treats me like gold, and there is genuine desire ETC. I am happy and lucky to have her, but does she "make me happy"? I do not think so. I think that is on me and how I look at the world and how I react to it. But certainly a man or woman can make another person unhappy.
When an ex & I had the same argument - her refusing to accept ANY boundaries - every time we rowed until I realised her crazy-making wasn't something induced by my poor behaviour...as she claimed - rather throwing tantrums with extended sulk silent treatment attached - was her well honed & practised way of terrorising EVERYONE in her life (elderly mother plus 2 adopted teen daughters) whenever she didn't get her own way... until they each capitulated to her diktat...
Much as yourself Rich I realised this was learned narcissistic behaviour... & something that was never ever going to change.. as it was her chosen albeit dysfunctional means of controlling those close to her... (& they all resented it)
Once the penny dropped that was her playbook tho I was out of there.... for good..