How to Stop Taking Things So Personally
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- Опубликовано: 2 фев 2020
- How to stop taking things so personally.
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#stopgivingaf #stoicism #offended
“We suffer more often in imagination than in reality” - Seneca
What does Spongebob says: "IMAGINATIIIIIOOOONSSSSS"
*A Coral of Wisdom!*
Inevitably true......at least in my case 😔😔😔
❤👍
Kin of Cosmos Very true.
The truth
Much love to all on the journey of self healing, wish you strength and clarity
:)
You too my friend:-)
Same to you good friend !
Thanks !
Thanks, I wish you that too
To stop taking things personally just consider the source. Everyone sees and interprets their world through their experience. So, whatever they are saying is a reflection of them. Hence, they are not saying anything about you but are telling you something about their self.
"I have a husband, I have children, I have a house. What do you have? You have nothing."
Words spoken to me in anger by my eldest sister. She was absolutely correct. I don't have a wife, children, nor a house.
What I have are self-respect, boundaries, and a purpose in life.
I wasn't offended by her, I simply chose to continue my life without someone who would judge my value based on what I 'owned'.
@@threethrushes That's an awesome attitude Gerhard. I have an older sister with a narcissistic and sick mind just like that. I go grey rock with her and give her none of my emotion; boundaries like you said.
This is a Bollywood dialogue - mere paas maa hai
Where one bro says to his brother
"I have money, bungalow, car, fame..What do you have?"
Brother replies, " mere paas maa hai" ( I have mother)
@@kendrad9933 Some people try to get a rise out of you.
Some people want to offend you.
But when they realise these they are powerless, it makes them even more mad!
Best revenge is to live well.
That is incredibly helpful, thank you Alex!
That is so me. I take things too personally, because I suffered from humiliation as a trauma since my childhood. That is why I have hard time engaging with someone.
Hey, how do you deal with "taking things personally" ?
Same :( I wish both of us well
@@aquapr901 Me too. I got bullied when I was younger, so I take any criticisms as humiliation and get really angry.
Same, I remember being humiliated as well and called names during my childhood that's why I get offended easily
i have lots of trouble when somebody tells be something like ‘shut up’ or ‘your opinion doesn’t matter’ or whatever since I never feel like I can get my points across, making myself humiliated and that nothing I really say is reasonable
It is easier when we realize that most people aren't thinking about us at all.
This is my main problem. I care too much on what ppl say. 😢
Me too..but just rembr we have a choice to react to what people say
Same
I do too I’m trying so hard to not let anyone’s judgement get to me 😢
Nobody thinks about you enough to talk about you. Just think about that. Everyone is minding their own business not everything is about you
me to
“Don’t take your thoughts seriously”
-Eckhart Tolle
this was a thought at some point
I can't take that seriously
this helped me a little
this is gooooood. I was watching a video, just TODAY, that explained that your negative thoughts are ALL lies.
Easier said than done
I was raised to take things personally. To never make people angry or upset, and if they were unhappy, it was my fault. I was raised to take responsibility for other's emotions. Even now, I don't know what I should be taking personally and what I shouldn't.
There is a good book on this topic called codependent no more. I had similar upbringing and I have had to work on this a lot.
@@knighthawk882Thank you with the recommendation, I’ve suffered with this trauma my whole life
sometimes you have too, nowone can do this all the time, its ok if you have to take some things persoanlly. the people who advocate this are unrealistic
3:05
I'm guessing you feel low self-esteem and think others are better at judging situations than you are. You're putting too much on yourself. It's one thing to not want to make people upset and take precautions to not upset people, but it's another thing to be afraid of saying something wrong. We all make mistakes and always will, but I think the trick is to not put it all on yourself but be mindful of others. Basically, don't be afraid to speak your mind, but learn what is and is not appropriate to say in a given situation. However, always know that you will make mistakes and that's okay.
“To a mind that is still. The whole universe surrenders.” Anonymous
- Lao Tzu
Will meditate on this
Wow amazing food for thought.☕
Taking things too personally is also related with egocentrism and narcissism and the belief that everything is somehow related to you, like for example walking down the street and seeing a group of people laughing and believing that they are making fun of you. Most probably they didn't even notice you.
Soooooo true omg
How can I fix this? Im aware of it
@@diehardanimefann I don’t have the answer for that. But I believe it is somehow related to understanding that you are not as important as you think you are and that in the greater scheme of things you are “insignificant” so to say.
what about social anxiety? I always anxious everytime I walk over a group of people, and think there's something wrong with me so people would talk about me. I know it is nonsense, but I am still anxious. From what you say, I am curious if l have some narcissism. Maybe narcissism is anxiety in disguise?
@@elivinaragil6533 I am like that too,but I think we do not think of ourselves in an arrogant and positive way. We worry our anxiety might affect others. In some way, it is a considerate trait?
“If any be unhappy, let him remember that he is unhappy by reason of himself alone” - Epictetus
With that said I have to believe
Epictetus was not married ......
Ronald Dauro true but it still applies, one is still unhappy by of reason of Himself by being married
@@ronalddauro563 you alone made a choice to get married, no one is forced to get mariried, (not talking about taboo cultures)
Dream world bro.
Ok yes 🙌
Thank you 🌸
Life is all about finding yourself. Those who are reading the comments, great things are on the way. Believe 🌸
🥰🥰
🙏
Ame
Thank you. I needed this❤️
❤❤
"I am not my thoughts, feelings, circumstances of changing events in life, I am the awareness, the alertness, the changeless which remains present behind it."
That is an advanced state of awareness. But even that changeless awareness is an illusion created by the brain
... Also remember when the Buddha said "We never step into the same river twice."
Means that the constant flow of the water, change in the landscape, and conditions makes it a different river constantly.
Buddha also said: "Once the mind has been opened, it cannot go back to the way it was previously."
Means that we grow and change as we learn. So our inner world/consciousness actually has "change" or "changeability" as it's true nature.
We should NEVER stop growing and changing.
Buddha also said there is a deathless reality in the now and nothing should be clung to.
We should stop telling people to take a joke. Telling people they are too sensitive and can't take a joke just shows we don't want to take accountability for our own actions and are making excuses for our bad behavior. If someone makes a joke at my expense, I wont consider them a human. I am not obligated to give them the benefit of the doubt and assume there was no malicious intent. Other people's intentions are not more important than my feelings. If I don't know the person well, they should not joke with me.
I love this comment. Have been working on myself, such a long time, but yet... nope I am not okay with jokes that crosses my boundaries. Nobody has right to do it. Not taking things personaly is a great way to live a life, everyone should ajust that philosophy to themselves.
"Those who think the world revolves around themselves are wrong" ~ Bobby Bobinson
When someone criticizes me in order to bring me down or is trying to cause me pain is when I get upset or angry. They’re trying to make me feel lesser than and trying to put me down like I’m inferior or worse than them or other people in some way. When someone is intentionally trying to bring me down or make me look weak is when I get the most angry. I know I’m kind of repeating myself but it’s hard to put into words that feeling when someone is putting me down. Like I’m not worthy somehow but it goes deeper than that and I can’t really put it into words exactly how bad it makes me feel.
Pain comes from attachment.. think about it for a moment...
Thinking less significant of myself, is the greatest gift that you shared with me. Boy this came at the most incredible moment of my existence. Thank you for this lesson...
I take things too personal... Way too personal... Due to the traumatic experience I had being bullied and ridiculed throughout my childhood. I constantly feel that everyone is attacking me when I interpret things the wrong way, or even when some is yelling at me or insulting me...
Same here bro I been that way bro been bullied at School
I so needed to hear this out and form a clear perspective devoid of any judgements and insecurities instilled by other people. Thank you so much!
I know you weren’t talking to me, but I’m glad you enjoyed the video because I’m enjoying it so far.
Same. I'm fucking tired of taking shit so personally and seriously 😑 smh. It's just not benefitting my life as is.
To late, I already rage quit my job. Thanks a lot RUclips recommendations.
Was that a good thing is retrospective, did you enjoy that job?
Lmao
@@milan9180 I didn’t even know that was true.
Maybe its our own feelings that we take personally sometimes, and then we look for excuses to blame it on others or the world. Tough as it may be, I will try harder to focus my judgement inwardly. Much love, peace, and respect to all.
Love the video, thanks :)
This is absolutely needed in this joke-or-bullying world
Yes!!!
This is SO TRUE at the 3:12 point it states "its the NOT KNOWING" that gets me everytime. Its what makes my armor and my defenses resistant but not provable.
Ayo I take myself way too srsly, especially to my own self. this vid helps decipher bwtn truth n nonsense and reminding me that i may not be as significant as I may deem myself, aha very humbling bro thank you
BEST RESPONSE to negative feedback is “Thank you for your feedback. I will give it some thought.” Getting angry or defensive is counterproductive.
This exact experience happened to me today and I have been ruminating about what happened. So stressful...but I like the idea of looking at it from a point of how insignificant things are in an infinite universe. Thanks.
I know I am not alone with this issue, for all of us I wish you peace and love. It hurts and freeing all at the same time - do not give up - I refuse to surrender too.
I really needed this right now! Insults made yesterday lose more meaning every time I really think of them consciously.
May you all have a wonderful day!
This channel became one of my favorites overnight. Thanks for the wonderful wisdom!
Cheers man. I just recently bought and read your book “Unoffendable”. I really liked it. It’s given me lots of food for thought about myself and stuff. I also appreciated your honesty and humility regarding your own experiences. Keep up the good work brother. Respect.
Thank you so much to everyone responsible for making this video I was almost on a spiral this morning and I really needed this point of view
I think about this a lot, because a lot of my friends have beliefs and opinions contrary to mine. Sometimes, they like to tease me with a “Hey man, don’t you think *blah blah blah*?”, and thanks to these videos I have been taking these remarks less and less personally.
Vielen Dank Einzelgänger!
I can relate what I've been given through... 😔
I just wanted to let you know how much I appreciate your videos. I've been studying stoicism for a few years now, but it always helps my understanding of this great philosophy to hear other people's perspective on it. I keep trying to introduce Stoicism to my friends and acquaintances, but it is still sadly a relatively obscure philosophy that many don't see or want to see the value in. But there is great joy to be had in pursuing virtue along with others, so I thank you for the time and effort you give to make these videos.
I have caught myself writing horror stories in my head where I have the starring role of victim.
Not good Michelle. Re-write those stories so that you're the protagonist that chops the villains fucking head off.
Michelle, thank you for putting that into words! I am learning to catch myself doing the same thing. I am starting to attempt to rewrite the stories. I hope you find calmness in your mind!!
I have those but I'm the killer lmao
The good daydreams are just as bad for your mental health as the bad ones. Meditation will make you feel content living in the present.
Perhaps one day you'll become a celeb?!
1. Changing perspectives
2. Discerning reality from fiction
3. Discerning nonsense from the truth
This is EXACTLY what I needed this week. Thank you Einzelganger, I can't say it enough.
Cold mind comes from self control which comes from organized free time and only after these steps we can react impartially on everything that happens around us and protect ourselves against stress.
You have got the best timing.
Edit: Well, 48 identified with me. I had just been rejected by a girl (something that hurts deeply, since I have been rejected multiple times in the past and It's hard for me to deal with it), I thought she liked me for a relationship, we'd been talking for many months and when we finally went out, after the last one time (third date) she started to ghost me, so I asked what was going on and she replied she did not want any relationship with anybody at all. I don't know if that is the case or if she likes someone else, the latter was driving me crazy when thinking about it. After watching this video I felt a heck much better. Thank you very much for sharing and greetings from Costa Rica.
same wtf
I felt offended just now and was ranting to my friend
Then this shows up
X Feeling offended or angry or jealous is the same as taking a weak poison and hoping the other person feels sick.
It's perfectly normal to feel disappointed or sad when a friendship is not reciprocated. In this case you were actually given an explanation & it wasn't about you at all, but her. Take her at her word. ( She probably should have handled it a little better & just told you instead of ghosting you but most likely felt awkward bringing it up.) Sorry you got hurt.
it's best to just move on to someone else.
it's best to just move on to someone else.
I am only a few months away from being in my mid twenties and I am going to admit with an immense amount of shame that taking things way too personally is still one of my biggest weaknesses along with unessecarily stressing about things
Thanks mate! I really enjoy your channel and the fact that your videos get better over time. They are always to the point, are deep but in the same time delivered in a digestfull and pleasant manner. The increasing amount of content often reduces the quality, but not in your case! Keep doing a great work! Cheers
People often see what they unconsciously want to see. It's called projection. Once you integrate that, you can carve your way to equanimity.
@Will N They don't realise they project.
I took this video so personal 😂
Hahaha hahaha
🤣🤣
Same 🤣
As I have gotten older, I have slowly begun to realize that, very often, life is a sporadically and incompletely controlled chaos. If humans had a hive mind, so many of our problems would be solved, only to be replaced by other problems of equal or greater complexity. We care too much, and in the wrong ways, about the opinions of others; but we are trained, from birth, to be social animals, which allows "societies," with all their advantages and disadvantages, to exsist. I wish I knew a realistic solution.
This was good to watch after my day as i am an infp personality type and took things personally as i got overwhelmed but handled it better this time than ever before because of videos like this 😊
I really appreciated this explanation, which for me was very informative and will help me in future relationships with others. Thank you very much for this video, and also for the excellent soudtrack. Best regards
Great video with great insights. Thanking for producing and sharing this wisdom.
thank you!! needed this for my self healing, respect for myself and others.
This video came a perfect time, great stuff as always
Excellent video! Thank you for sharing your viewpoint on this topic.
Your videos are wonderful. Mindfulness is so important, and you capture its essence and share it so well. Your work is brilliant, thank you for sharing it
Great content...made my morning. As a German I want to add that "Hintergedanken" is used to express that someone has got a hidden agenda in mind or is up to something bad / exploiting - in very most cases.
I am in a bit of a conflict with my family right now because they are hurt from my behavior so meaning of this video is more clearer to me
I’m learning words are just that . Words .. if you let words hurt you then anyone can hurt you so be strong , be confident . Be yourself and stand proud !!
Thank you for making such a video in my time of breakup this helps a lot
Taking yourself less seriously!
I think before you learn not to take things personally. You have to set boundaries first. If you just let things slip away and act like you do not care, it will just give you friction and a mountain of supressed emotions. How could one understand that he is not a reflection of other people's words if he'd just stay silent? I think there are moments that you have to give yourself a compassion by setting your boundaries to others. By being aware of what you really feel and communicating your truth to your environment. If you are going to apply that in your life, I think you will develop a sense of trust in yourself and the rest will gradually follow. By respecting yourself and showing others that you respect yourself too would give you a sense of security in yourself and would result in not really minding other people because you already knew and applied your own values and truth in your life.
Since I was bullied for all my school years i never could take a joke so I'm here to solve that problem
Same here when I was school I was just in hell
Right on. Most people are full of shit! No truer words have ever been spoken. Another great vid. Thanks man
Kerel jou video's hebben mij een hoop gehopen.. dankjewel!!!!
I'm glad I've found your channel! Helpful tips on life!
Thank god and you for this channel. Such lovely realistic situations mentioned and solved so naturally and intellectually. Thanks again.
Being objective with myself I do the things you pointed out in the video. I will work on this trait. Thank you for the video!
*John Wick:* They killed my Dog. Its Personal now
It's*
Duchi
Love this!
@@FallouFitness_NattyEdition Stop correcting others, just go back to copy-pasting Bruce Lee's quotes 🤣🤣🤣🤣
Should've sent these videos to John Wick 🤣 but then maybe we wouldn't have the movie franchise 🤣
@@kool-aidman2797 LMFAO _🤣🤣🤣🤣_
This video appears on my recommendation and it's on a perfect timing
Ah for once RUclips puts something useful on recommendations
It's a record
@@Caktusdud. Hahaha 😂😂😂
I enjoyed reading your interview w/ daily stoic. Keep on the quest brother 👍🏻☮️❤️
Another excellent video, Thanks!!
The no-mind concept is a darn good one for a lot of things. No-mind is "I know but I don't mind." Thanks, Eckhart Tolle.
Thank you for this video, helps in understanding this part of the journey.
Perfect video in a perfect time. Synchronicity at its best.
I needed to hear this. I appreciate it so much ty.
I always get these videos that make me self doubt myself, thanks, point for youtube algorithm picking up on social qs
I'm a guy who cares way too much about lots of things and I take everything personal where I get upset easily and I wish I can stop but a guy like me who is sensitive to small certain things can't really stop feeling upset for what people think of me like bad things or say anything about stupid or something😥
The Timing is so impeccable to the point I’m beginning to wonder if the separation of SpaceTime is mechanical by Nature.
Beautiful as always
I don't know how but this video came in my suggestion right when I was worried and couldn't go to sleep because I took something seriously
Thanks dude such valuable advice
You got the best music choice thank you so much you introduced me to such great music I love it!!!!!!
Man, you are always into my head.
Thank you for this video :-) I really needed this :-)
"Honestly, many people are just full of shit" 😂😂😂
Awesome advice, loved this video thank you
It’s a very simplistic way at looking at the topic. The context and the motivation behind the situation plays a lot into forming the reaction. But I agree with the initial message that you should work to remove “I” from the equation
Excellent lecture. Very practical tips.
Thank you, your videos really help me.
Thanks for sharing very informative. This video would change your perspective in life forever.❤
I see this behaviour of inflated ego in people who on actuality haven't gotten anywhere in society.
I don't mean that they should, but challenges and overcoming them humbles you.
Hey my man Ossein, I have a question: is there a more complex purpose to these almost instantaneous comments on these videos? And if so, what is it?
@@andrejrmusic looks like he's trying to get subscribers
Humanoid Bear Andrew Clout.
I always took things personally, especially when i get constructive criticism over art. I always felt suspicious that they were hiding the fact that they hated me, or something else extreme.
Some of my co workers prob: she can't take constructive criticism
Vs reality: no, it's not that. What it really is, is that I think ure lazy! & Slow. As molasses 😁👍
Now this was good!!
Great quality video, very professional
Have you Truman show'd my life?! But honestly, thank you for all your hard work
Beautiful. Thank you.
I'm an EinzelGang member!
I listened very keenly. Thanx
Hey Einzelganger I love your videos man. They have helped me in so many ways. Just out of curiosity though are you a psychiatrist or something or do you just figure out these things yourself? Sometimes personally I will have a certain thought or concept rolling around in my head but can't quite pin it down, but there's been a few times I came across one of your videos where you explained it in a way I can understand. Anyway thanks man and keep up the good work.
"... My mind is a mirror, a reflection only known to me
And for those who hate me, the more you hate me
The more you help me
And for those who love me, the more you love me
The more you hurt me
When I go to bed in the night, I see some children in the light
Fighting unknown shadows behind my mother's back
And although I don't understand my dreams
I know somewhere, there is hope, there's hope, there is hope ..."
_I Won't Complain_
- *Benjamin Clementine*
Great stuff. As always.
Just asked a girl out to a coffee date. If she says no, I will NOT take it personally. I will simply and humbly accept her decision and move on
That’s a good way to take the situation if she doesn’t accept, also, how’d it go? Did she say yes? :D
Right on time 🙏🏽
Wise words...the reason I get upset if someone has believed a lie about me is I can't stand people being lieded to in genral and allso I dont like the idea of someone belive something bad about me if its not true.
Same as you!
Great video, thanks 🙏🏼
Sir Einzelgänger, you sound like a young Jean-Claude Van Damme. I love your videos, Bro. Keep it up!