I have never felt so free until I was living on my own. I am more outspoken and I am a fighter. I refuse to tolerate garbage from people and prefer to be alone. I don't care what people think of me. I am not on this Earth for a popularity contest..
I am in the same state, feeling empowered; alone but not lonely. I prepare a nice dinner for myself and hike with my dog. Simple things that I used to think I couldn’t enjoy alone I find so enjoyable. I feel so empowered! Thank you for sharing. You are not alone! ❤
I have lived alone since I was 24 (49 now) except for a brief attempt at roommates 2020-2022. It was NOT worth it. My rent is more than half my income sure, but I get to wake up and come home to beautiful solitude.
❤ I'm 79 yrs old, and grateful for the strengths that come from being an INFJ. You're so right about how nothing we learn, nothing we do, is wasted. I used to think that my life lacked continuity, because I've altered my path much more often than most. Then I realized that my core self is always the decider, and she's always been capable of correcting her course. Most people stay stuck in the false belief that they have to let someone else decide.
I've jump-started my life repeatedly... At 71, I moved forward again... I feel that I've finally received a self-proclaimed "Grade AAAA" rating! I'm not perfect and hey, I'm good! New personality... (Added on new facets...) Absolutely new people in my life... New home, in a new country... New vocation... New avocations... Yes, a step into the unknown... Change!
I am in the process of starting over right now after years of soul searching and figuring stuff out...I will be 45 in a couple months. "Dark night of the soul" is another way of saying nervous breakdown, "Spiritual awakening" is another way of saying midlife crisis. Everyone goes through this stuff but not everyone chooses to learn, grow, and get better. Stay strong INFJ's...we have it a little harder than the rest.
I turned 45 a month ago and I hear you brother. I’m in the same position of starting over. You are not alone and I wish you all the best going forward. Sending good vibes your way. Stay strong and stay focused on the things that really matter to you. 😀
@@timbirchard that’s right, you have to be willing to evolve. Nothing is ever over, life is a journey of continued growth and self-discovery. I wish you all the best sir on the next chapter in your life. Sending good vibes your way. 😀
This was incredibly helpful and timely. Just turned 45 and this *is* the first time I'm valuing myself since childhood. It took a lot of EFT and an emotional flashback to get the illusions of conformity out of my head. This INFJ community has been so supportive and brings me so much comfort. Starting over can feel so alienating. Every single thing you said was profoundly accurate. Thank you for the work you do. ✌💖
Awesome video my friend! You always have this innate ability to post something helpful, that is currently going on in my life that I’m battling or dealing with, or trying to figure out how to navigate… And you put it into the most common sense and relatable terms. 👍🏼 Thanks for always being there for us INFJ’s. You’re the best! 😊🤟🏼🌹❤️
After 25+ years of emotional abuse by my parents I met a girl and she felt Like the love of my life. But because of trauma's and how damage my soul was I coulnd't be there for her. I was so heart broken about it that I release I needed to change. And so I did and now after a nearly 2 years going to the most broken days of my life. I"m so happy that I still can smile and feel joy And be a good person and help others. As an INFJ, Love is our strengh and we can give so much of it. It can break us enough to change. And by the right people the love feels so powerful.
@royal_lotus8834 Well, try to find another one who's interested me for me. I really did like her more than friends. I saw myself with her more than bf & gf. Damn, rejection is hard.
@@KeepRolling1000 yeah it's really difficult to deal with I hope you're getting over this for yourself. And also Learn something from what happend. I try to be strong enough that I can handle it better and take my respobilty from my part of the relastionship. Like boundaries and getting my things better, so I know the relationship wil feel better and feel save for me. I'm still an INFJ So i know that I have enough love to give I just want it to feel save for the both of us.
you couldnt free yourself when she was alive, why would you suddenly be able to now? what im getting at is that sometimes we hold it in us, our unmet expectations, and project that pain that makes us believe the source is an external one, when it was us never being to let go in the first place. if we arent careful, someone else would fill that role again and it is going to be the same dynamics all over again. but, i wish you best of luck, i understand what it is like. godspeed
@@iamnoteric In addition to being an INFJ, I left a cult I was born into. One that was required to shun you if you left. Three generations of family shunned me. Two of my siblings left the cult as well, two others did not. My parents maintained contact but always made it clear we were not "saved" and would never visit us. That is me being projected upon -- not me projecting. I am highly educated in psychology. I loved my parents, and knew they were caught in a cult. I, and three of my siblings were also, it turned out, undiagnosed high functioning autistics. Nevertheless, as required by society and family of origin, I modified my behavior based on a lifetime of unwarranted criticism (called masking - again, one masks because of projections put upon them, not because of projecting upon others). When conversations with other high functioning Autistics and INFJs began to be part of youtube I realized that, finally, now, as understanding was increasing, "fitting in" was a relic I really only needed to maintain a relationship with my mother. I have always had exceptional friends in the "outside world" (who accept me as I am) and won a wall full of awards in my career (which made the most of my "special interest" ; I was really good at on a professional level; required a great deal of interface with the public (and therefor more masking); and paid the bills).
Absolutely. From no contact. Too deep introspection. To seeing the truth about the world rapidly unveiled. To becoming more authentic and last you become your 7-12 year old self all over again except much wiser.
The hardest test that someone has ever given me was to write 10 things that I didn't like in about my self and then told me to write ten thengs that I love about myself. If you have problems with the second half of that - take a step back, take a look at yourself and ask who are you FOLLOWING that makes you feel that way.... be true to YOU!!! Not some image of perfection that these fake people are trying to sell. I just suicided my career with a door slam, instead of a rage and things like that provided me the reputation needed to get my next BETTER job.
i started my lone wolf path about 2 years ago and every video since has been eerily in lockstep with my journey. Wenzes and all who comment have helped drastically with not feeling so.....one off (not to mention left handed, only child, grew up black male in a midwest white town lol).....within the past couple weeks i told myself i have to lock in and fight harder for the life i want even more despite my improvements and personal victories the past 2 years. Low and behold Wenzes tells me to activate the warrior within! ong you cant make this timing up🙏🏽 Blessings to everybody in the comments
Fiery videos of yours,added courage with other resources for this INFJ ,and left Narcissist after 18 years.Starting all over at 40 in the little town.❤
This video is good, solid, practical encouragement to see ourselves as growing, bettering, and enriching our lives. You're realistic in telling us that we still have good and not-so-good days, ups and downs, and maybe even times when we feel like we're going backwards. It's been my experience working through these rough spots when I'm using the same mental, emotional and spiritual tools and not thinking/feeling like I'm getting anywhere - that sooner or later I see that the process IS actually working. For me, when it's rough going, it's so easy to think I'm regressing - but it's fascinating to see that I actually get AHEAD although it doesn't feel like it at the time. I've found this out even during this past week . I'm feeling a whole lot better now, and I saw that I didn't go backwards at all but actually went forward, even though didn't seem like it. This is why I appreciated this particular video so much. We are all growing. And I'm learning and still want to learn to appreciate the growth I've experienced up to this point. There will be more growth, and that's a good feeling.
I’ve started taking martial arts classes as an infj and it’s been a big game changer in my life, breaking a sweat and connecting to others in my community by going to Muay Thai classes has been benificial in all areas of my life, I recommend martial artis classes to anyone in anything! I also know a bit of Brazilian jujitsu from taking thoes classes in the past as well, you learn very good self defense skills in these disciplines!
The concept of the dark knight of the soul has made me start crying every time I hear it brought up. The concept of the hard period I’ve been in and feeling at my lowest and loneliest being just a natural journey that’s the right path if I continue fighting and stay the course really just hits me hard. I’m already seeing it slowly come to fruition and it’s 100% worth it, and I’m proud of myself for rising to the occasion through it all
Wow @Wenzes - INFJ LIFE COACH , just WOW! I literally wrote in my journal this morning that _"I honestly don't know where He (God) is guiding me, but I will trust him. I see signs in reuniting with my sister (after several years), not worrying about other people and what they think about me, protecting my energy, putting myself FIRST!!!! God wants me to excel in life which is a birth right. Abundance is mine!"_
This is just what I needed and I shall fight hell yeah! At some point you're too tired to feel like shit all the time and you've just got to keep moving forward. Thank you I love pep talks and actual practical advices!🥰
Absolutely. From no contact. Too deep introspection. To seeing the truth about the world rapidly unveiled. To becoming more authentic and last you become your 7-12 year old self all over again except much wiser. The catapult to childhood is the awakening of compassion. The compassion of INFJs is so deep hatred finds us early. It’s not our intellect that is most hated it’s our compassion. The chameleon happens because we must suppress our mind-heart to be less hated. When we finally see through the whole world the child comes back to life because our compassion returns alongside a profound sense of conviction. Isolation is not desirable but now more useful because this is seen by others and every remaining useful tactic will now be rapidly deployed to try and force you to chameleon because you are now terrifying. We see the web of information parse through truths and feel with conviction. People avoid eye contact because they don’t want you to see through them.
# 567 here. Thank you so much! I am working much harder on letting go of the things that I cannot, and never could, CHANGE! And also in appreciating the, "little things", which are actually important parts of my life...from the morning coffee to snuggles with my pup, to my very living BREATH...I have survived so much, and I need to now learn how to be kind to myself. Weird how I have always had so much empathy towards others, but have been so vicious with my own self. Anyhow, thank you so much!
I LOVE THIS, THANK YOU!! Bit of a story. Chk out the video, Surfer almost swallowed by whale. Its me. Well after that video my life turned to ash. I was living the Jonah bible guys story. Then I got isolated living rural for 12 years for numerous reasons, non good so it seemed. It was a total of that 12 years that my dark night went on. I had to study narcissism. My parents were both deadly narcissists. Rape and murders were in their past. I had to cleanse myself of the patterns they hurt me with. I had to let go of 100% of my reality. I was a good person stuck with bad self esteem issues. Long story short. Im only just emerging from this. I need to do a Ted Talk! Lol!! But you have once again helped me understand a bigger picture. Thank you so very much❤❤
Yep, the old coping mechanisms have been minimized... New strategies in place... Agency rules! I am souverign! Yep, grateful for the all of it... Thanks Wenzes...
Always reference reality. Reality is a fact and facts are reality. That is the basis for the next thought. The next action that should be taken to benefit yourself.
I have a name for it. I call it failing forward and I’ve done it over and over and over in life after failed relationships, friendships, toxic people in workplaces and never at ease.. I’m content with pets and I enjoy the small things now.
I am in a need of starting over. I’ve having to do this in the midst of pain and suffering caused by not living authentically. Thank you for the encouragement. I needed it.
I can vouch for the fact that it is not always easy being an INFJ. I have to ask a question here though. It's kind of off topic, except it isn't... maybe. It seems to me, that because this is the way that I am, would anyone agree AT ALL, that it's very easy for an INFJ, because they [we] are sensitive, observant and intuitive, that most INFJs are able not only to see through other people and read them easily, but able to see the world and society in the same way? To be able to see through society's BS, and to see the reality of what we are living in, and living through? I'm trying not to use the words "Conspiracy Theorist"... so how about using the words "Conspiracy Realist" instead? Any opinions? Thank you.
A great topic, and worth taking time to brainstorm. All my life, I've been "accused" of having things come easily to me,, as if I had magic wand, rather than working hard for my achievements. Anyone else experience this? Nobody likes people who make hard work look easy. Why? Lol! But you're right, it IS easier for us because we have finely tuned powers of perception. We perceive what others do not, mostly because they actually do perceive things very differently.
Every.damn.day. I always tell my family that I’m working on a way out of society😅 because it’s all a lie. I sit and wonder if everyone else feels as thought they are having to play along to get along or if they are just completely oblivious to what is just the obvious to me. I feel like the real value of life and what I can bring doesn’t really matter on the planet. I often times can’t believe the “careers” that ppl take so seriously. The things that this world gives value are completely opposite to what really is valuable….imo
I agree as well. SO easy to see through the bs that so many are caught up in. Most people don’t care to even try to see it. I tell my children and now that they are about grown they see that I’m right, usually.
@@marciaquinnnoren1360oh yea, I definitely get hated on for doing hard things really well. I’ve grown to not care. Let the haters hate and keep doing my own thing all with a smile on my face.
I needed this- I am in a place in my life where alot of relationships I've had not just romantic- have been challenged and I have lost alot of people by choosing myself and accepting the fact that I will go through a phase of being Alone- very hard but necessary 💯 Thank you..I need these videos..they have helped me sooooooo much in becoming the best version of myself by myself 😊
My mom gave me the illusion, and I hated it. Ive been fighting against it until now, at 41. Its all about me, and its not too late for anything! Im taking little E, and teenage E and I am reparenting them by loving them and filling up their cups.
It’s interesting. I do these major overhauls of my life from time to time and it does seem like I am back to square one but as you were speaking I envisioned a snake that has to emerge from its old skin in order to keep growing. With every overhaul I am more at peace but it does initially feel like a failure. Like why didn’t I get it right before? Why am I here again? “Here” is always different though and signifies progress. Thanks!
This is awesome 🎉! It gets me present to simple bare facts about myself without being colored by external opinions judgements and advice and leads me to really confront my fear of what if my family and friends say “something is wrong with you” and my future is bleak. At least I can breathe peacefully one day at a time going forward.
This process always has started with a drastic change - but I always get thus strong urge within to change - This has happened several times in my life that I get an inner urge to change something significant in my life and all have led me to more of myself and more alignment with my true self - Its the scariest ish ever - but along the way I get confirmation that it was the right decision (Left said job and look up months later said job was eliminated). My initial strategy that has not failed me yet is following my intuition and trusting the guidance I am given - I find that inner work practice I did leading up to this transformative change (this is confirmed in hindsight) are the tools I lean on during the "dark night of the soul".
Wait until your around certain narcissist that become obsessed with you . They start out as admirers but that not there real intentions. When i was on the move daily as celebrated artist i was avasive harder to pin down. Its when you make your self available and it will happen no ones career stays same forever 😅 good luck
Am I misperceiving inner peace as boredom (and throwing away a good in the process), or am I taking it to the next level? How can I distinguish the difference?
I have never felt so free until I was living on my own. I am more outspoken and I am a fighter. I refuse to tolerate garbage from people and prefer to be alone. I don't care what people think of me. I am not on this Earth for a popularity contest..
Excelsior!
Amen
I am in the same state, feeling empowered; alone but not lonely. I prepare a nice dinner for myself and hike with my dog. Simple things that I used to think I couldn’t enjoy alone I find so enjoyable. I feel so empowered! Thank you for sharing. You are not alone! ❤
I have lived alone since I was 24 (49 now) except for a brief attempt at roommates 2020-2022. It was NOT worth it. My rent is more than half my income sure, but I get to wake up and come home to beautiful solitude.
Amen!💗
❤ I'm 79 yrs old, and grateful for the strengths that come from being an INFJ. You're so right about how nothing we learn, nothing we do, is wasted. I used to think that my life lacked continuity, because I've altered my path much more often than most. Then I realized that my core self is always the decider, and she's always been capable of correcting her course. Most people stay stuck in the false belief that they have to let someone else decide.
Thank you for sharing!! My heart felt true joy reading your comment. More power to you!
@@luisacordero4001
And the same to you ❤
Hello! I'm 56 years old, INFJ, and would love to pick your brain and benefit from your experience and wisdom. May I ask you some questions?
@MARA-q9h Yes indeed, I'm the judge, the jury, and the decider.
I've jump-started my life repeatedly... At 71, I moved forward again... I feel that I've finally received a self-proclaimed "Grade AAAA" rating! I'm not perfect and hey, I'm good! New personality... (Added on new facets...) Absolutely new people in my life... New home, in a new country... New vocation... New avocations... Yes, a step into the unknown... Change!
Whoa! Congratulations! 56 here.... may I please pick your brain a little bit?
Building a unshakeable foundation so important. Working on it for now.
I am in the process of starting over right now after years of soul searching and figuring stuff out...I will be 45 in a couple months. "Dark night of the soul" is another way of saying nervous breakdown, "Spiritual awakening" is another way of saying midlife crisis. Everyone goes through this stuff but not everyone chooses to learn, grow, and get better. Stay strong INFJ's...we have it a little harder than the rest.
I turned 45 a month ago and I hear you brother. I’m in the same position of starting over. You are not alone and I wish you all the best going forward. Sending good vibes your way. Stay strong and stay focused on the things that really matter to you. 😀
56 and starting over. Maybe it never ends as long as we're willing to evolve? Either way, ouch!! ;-)
@@timbirchard that’s right, you have to be willing to evolve. Nothing is ever over, life is a journey of continued growth and self-discovery. I wish you all the best sir on the next chapter in your life. Sending good vibes your way. 😀
Have children
@@JohnnyDepp_999 You forgot to type "Never" in your comment. Never have children.
Ladies, Tuning into your fighter is a lot easier post menopause 😈
🙌💗
I'm an extroverted lover, not a fighter.
This was incredibly helpful and timely. Just turned 45 and this *is* the first time I'm valuing myself since childhood. It took a lot of EFT and an emotional flashback to get the illusions of conformity out of my head. This INFJ community has been so supportive and brings me so much comfort. Starting over can feel so alienating. Every single thing you said was profoundly accurate. Thank you for the work you do. ✌💖
💗
I'm an extrovert and always valued myself.
Awesome video my friend!
You always have this innate ability to post something helpful, that is currently going on in my life that I’m battling or dealing with, or trying to figure out how to navigate… And you put it into the most common sense and relatable terms. 👍🏼
Thanks for always being there for us INFJ’s. You’re the best! 😊🤟🏼🌹❤️
After 25+ years of emotional abuse by my parents
I met a girl and she felt Like the love of my life.
But because of trauma's and how damage my soul was
I coulnd't be there for her. I was so heart broken
about it that I release I needed to change.
And so I did and now after a nearly 2 years
going to the most broken days of my life.
I"m so happy that I still can smile and feel joy
And be a good person and help others.
As an INFJ, Love is our strengh and we can
give so much of it.
It can break us enough to change.
And by the right people the love feels so powerful.
I just got heartbroken as well, she love bombed me, then flipped script of not being interested anymore.
@@KeepRolling1000 So what is your next move?? Please be kind to yourself🙌
@royal_lotus8834 Well, try to find another one who's interested me for me. I really did like her more than friends. I saw myself with her more than bf & gf. Damn, rejection is hard.
Get that money. Stack that cash. Find another chick and love her. @@KeepRolling1000
@@KeepRolling1000 yeah it's really difficult to deal with I hope you're getting over this for yourself. And also Learn something from what happend.
I try to be strong enough that I can handle it better and take my respobilty from my part of the relastionship.
Like boundaries and getting my things better, so I know the relationship wil feel better and feel save for me.
I'm still an INFJ So i know that I have enough love to give I just want it to feel save for the both of us.
my mother died and I realized I was free.
Interesting. Did all the people family/non family fall away (out of your life) as well? Seriously, no sarcasm or crudeness.
you couldnt free yourself when she was alive, why would you suddenly be able to now? what im getting at is that sometimes we hold it in us, our unmet expectations, and project that pain that makes us believe the source is an external one, when it was us never being to let go in the first place. if we arent careful, someone else would fill that role again and it is going to be the same dynamics all over again. but, i wish you best of luck, i understand what it is like. godspeed
@@iamnoteric In addition to being an INFJ, I left a cult I was born into. One that was required to shun you if you left. Three generations of family shunned me. Two of my siblings left the cult as well, two others did not. My parents maintained contact but always made it clear we were not "saved" and would never visit us. That is me being projected upon -- not me projecting. I am highly educated in psychology. I loved my parents, and knew they were caught in a cult. I, and three of my siblings were also, it turned out, undiagnosed high functioning autistics. Nevertheless, as required by society and family of origin, I modified my behavior based on a lifetime of unwarranted criticism (called masking - again, one masks because of projections put upon them, not because of projecting upon others). When conversations with other high functioning Autistics and INFJs began to be part of youtube I realized that, finally, now, as understanding was increasing, "fitting in" was a relic I really only needed to maintain a relationship with my mother. I have always had exceptional friends in the "outside world" (who accept me as I am) and won a wall full of awards in my career (which made the most of my "special interest" ; I was really good at on a professional level; required a great deal of interface with the public (and therefor more masking); and paid the bills).
Absolutely. From no contact. Too deep introspection. To seeing the truth about the world rapidly unveiled. To becoming more authentic and last you become your 7-12 year old self all over again except much wiser.
@@Turtleface869 Exactly!
Your channel is so insightful, thank you
I feel in love with myself at the age of 29.
me at 26🥳
The hardest test that someone has ever given me was to write 10 things that I didn't like in about my self and then told me to write ten thengs that I love about myself. If you have problems with the second half of that - take a step back, take a look at yourself and ask who are you FOLLOWING that makes you feel that way.... be true to YOU!!! Not some image of perfection that these fake people are trying to sell.
I just suicided my career with a door slam, instead of a rage and things like that provided me the reputation needed to get my next BETTER job.
Holy sh*t you described my situation and how I feel exactly.
i started my lone wolf path about 2 years ago and every video since has been eerily in lockstep with my journey. Wenzes and all who comment have helped drastically with not feeling so.....one off (not to mention left handed, only child, grew up black male in a midwest white town lol).....within the past couple weeks i told myself i have to lock in and fight harder for the life i want even more despite my improvements and personal victories the past 2 years. Low and behold Wenzes tells me to activate the warrior within! ong you cant make this timing up🙏🏽 Blessings to everybody in the comments
Blessings to you as well ! Stay strong and seek Peace! 🙏🕊
Fiery videos of yours,added courage with other resources for this INFJ ,and left Narcissist after 18 years.Starting all over at 40 in the little town.❤
This video is good, solid, practical encouragement to see ourselves as growing, bettering, and enriching our lives. You're realistic in telling us that we still have good and not-so-good days, ups and downs, and maybe even times when we feel like we're going backwards.
It's been my experience working through these rough spots when I'm using the same mental, emotional and spiritual tools and not thinking/feeling like I'm getting anywhere - that sooner or later I see that the process IS actually working. For me, when it's rough going, it's so easy to think I'm regressing - but it's fascinating to see that I actually get AHEAD although it doesn't feel like it at the time. I've found this out even during this past week . I'm feeling a whole lot better now, and I saw that I didn't go backwards at all but actually went forward, even though didn't seem like it.
This is why I appreciated this particular video so much. We are all growing. And I'm learning and still want to learn to appreciate the growth I've experienced up to this point. There will be more growth, and that's a good feeling.
I’ve started taking martial arts classes as an infj and it’s been a big game changer in my life, breaking a sweat and connecting to others in my community by going to Muay Thai classes has been benificial in all areas of my life, I recommend martial artis classes to anyone in anything! I also know a bit of Brazilian jujitsu from taking thoes classes in the past as well, you learn very good self defense skills in these disciplines!
The concept of the dark knight of the soul has made me start crying every time I hear it brought up. The concept of the hard period I’ve been in and feeling at my lowest and loneliest being just a natural journey that’s the right path if I continue fighting and stay the course really just hits me hard. I’m already seeing it slowly come to fruition and it’s 100% worth it, and I’m proud of myself for rising to the occasion through it all
Wow @Wenzes - INFJ LIFE COACH , just WOW! I literally wrote in my journal this morning that _"I honestly don't know where He (God) is guiding me, but I will trust him. I see signs in reuniting with my sister (after several years), not worrying about other people and what they think about me, protecting my energy, putting myself FIRST!!!! God wants me to excel in life which is a birth right. Abundance is mine!"_
One of your deepest/best videos! ❤ thank you
Thanks again Wenzes! Please don't stop sharing your insights. I feel like I'm gaining ground. You've been a true blessing to me. Thank you
This is just what I needed and I shall fight hell yeah! At some point you're too tired to feel like shit all the time and you've just got to keep moving forward. Thank you I love pep talks and actual practical advices!🥰
Absolutely. From no contact. Too deep introspection. To seeing the truth about the world rapidly unveiled. To becoming more authentic and last you become your 7-12 year old self all over again except much wiser. The catapult to childhood is the awakening of compassion. The compassion of INFJs is so deep hatred finds us early. It’s not our intellect that is most hated it’s our compassion. The chameleon happens because we must suppress our mind-heart to be less hated. When we finally see through the whole world the child comes back to life because our compassion returns alongside a profound sense of conviction. Isolation is not desirable but now more useful because this is seen by others and every remaining useful tactic will now be rapidly deployed to try and force you to chameleon because you are now terrifying. We see the web of information parse through truths and feel with conviction. People avoid eye contact because they don’t want you to see through them.
Incredible.
# 567 here. Thank you so much! I am working much harder on letting go of the things that I cannot, and never could, CHANGE! And also in appreciating the, "little things", which are actually important parts of my life...from the morning coffee to snuggles with my pup, to my very living BREATH...I have survived so much, and I need to now learn how to be kind to myself. Weird how I have always had so much empathy towards others, but have been so vicious with my own self. Anyhow, thank you so much!
I LOVE THIS, THANK YOU!! Bit of a story. Chk out the video, Surfer almost swallowed by whale. Its me. Well after that video my life turned to ash. I was living the Jonah bible guys story. Then I got isolated living rural for 12 years for numerous reasons, non good so it seemed. It was a total of that 12 years that my dark night went on. I had to study narcissism. My parents were both deadly narcissists. Rape and murders were in their past. I had to cleanse myself of the patterns they hurt me with. I had to let go of 100% of my reality. I was a good person stuck with bad self esteem issues. Long story short.
Im only just emerging from this. I need to do a Ted Talk! Lol!! But you have once again helped me understand a bigger picture. Thank you so very much❤❤
thank you! I really needed to hear this today :)
Thank you you truly are helping me and I'm sure many others free of charge Thank you
Im extroverted. Live to be around sexy, caring, intelligent people.
Really needed to hear this - BAD - at this crossroads in my life. Great video. Appreciated!
This channel is such a blessing
gratitude goes a long way
Yep, the old coping mechanisms have been minimized... New strategies in place... Agency rules! I am souverign! Yep, grateful for the all of it... Thanks Wenzes...
Always reference reality. Reality is a fact and facts are reality. That is the basis for the next thought. The next action that should be taken to benefit yourself.
I have a name for it. I call it failing forward and I’ve done it over and over and over in life after failed relationships, friendships, toxic people in workplaces and never at ease.. I’m content with pets and I enjoy the small things now.
I am in a need of starting over. I’ve having to do this in the midst of pain and suffering caused by not living authentically. Thank you for the encouragement. I needed it.
I can vouch for the fact that it is not always easy being an INFJ. I have to ask a question here though. It's kind of off topic, except it isn't... maybe. It seems to me, that because this is the way that I am, would anyone agree AT ALL, that it's very easy for an INFJ, because they [we] are sensitive, observant and intuitive, that most INFJs are able not only to see through other people and read them easily, but able to see the world and society in the same way? To be able to see through society's BS, and to see the reality of what we are living in, and living through? I'm trying not to use the words "Conspiracy Theorist"... so how about using the words "Conspiracy Realist" instead? Any opinions? Thank you.
Yes, it's like looking at the world without rose coloured glasses, and for what it really is.
A great topic, and worth taking time to brainstorm. All my life, I've been "accused" of having things come easily to me,, as if I had magic wand, rather than working hard for my achievements. Anyone else experience this? Nobody likes people who make hard work look easy. Why? Lol! But you're right, it IS easier for us because we have finely tuned powers of perception. We perceive what others do not, mostly because they actually do perceive things very differently.
Every.damn.day. I always tell my family that I’m working on a way out of society😅 because it’s all a lie. I sit and wonder if everyone else feels as thought they are having to play along to get along or if they are just completely oblivious to what is just the obvious to me. I feel like the real value of life and what I can bring doesn’t really matter on the planet. I often times can’t believe the “careers” that ppl take so seriously. The things that this world gives value are completely opposite to what really is valuable….imo
I agree as well. SO easy to see through the bs that so many are caught up in. Most people don’t care to even try to see it. I tell my children and now that they are about grown they see that I’m right, usually.
@@marciaquinnnoren1360oh yea, I definitely get hated on for doing hard things really well. I’ve grown to not care. Let the haters hate and keep doing my own thing all with a smile on my face.
I needed this- I am in a place in my life where alot of relationships I've had not just romantic- have been challenged and I have lost alot of people by choosing myself and accepting the fact that I will go through a phase of being Alone- very hard but necessary 💯 Thank you..I need these videos..they have helped me sooooooo much in becoming the best version of myself by myself 😊
It's not hating someone to not adore them online. No one is entitled to fans.
Think she means those that throw hate
My mom gave me the illusion, and I hated it. Ive been fighting against it until now, at 41. Its all about me, and its not too late for anything!
Im taking little E, and teenage E and I am reparenting them by loving them and filling up their cups.
This one really hit home.
I got past that dark place thankfully.
Finding your channel has made sense of so much of it.
Thank you ❤
Thank you for this video. I'm not an Infj , I'm an Infp but boy was this relatable!
It’s interesting. I do these major overhauls of my life from time to time and it does seem like I am back to square one but as you were speaking I envisioned a snake that has to emerge from its old skin in order to keep growing. With every overhaul I am more at peace but it does initially feel like a failure. Like why didn’t I get it right before? Why am I here again? “Here” is always different though and signifies progress. Thanks!
felt this
This is awesome 🎉! It gets me present to simple bare facts about myself without being colored by external opinions judgements and advice and leads me to really confront my fear of what if my family and friends say “something is wrong with you” and my future is bleak. At least I can breathe peacefully one day at a time going forward.
Thank you
What have been your strategies in strategically starting over and reaching new heights you have never reached before?
Start from the beginning. Start anew. Change social circles/locations. Authenticity and letting those who don't like fall away naturally 🎉
🙂❤️👍🏼
Well i used to go somewhere a quiet place to get me into that zone and just doing my job and leave them speechless
I stayed single for 6 years, did airbnb and grew privately with my God. Now I know my identity, and what I want from this life.
This process always has started with a drastic change - but I always get thus strong urge within to change - This has happened several times in my life that I get an inner urge to change something significant in my life and all have led me to more of myself and more alignment with my true self - Its the scariest ish ever - but along the way I get confirmation that it was the right decision (Left said job and look up months later said job was eliminated). My initial strategy that has not failed me yet is following my intuition and trusting the guidance I am given - I find that inner work practice I did leading up to this transformative change (this is confirmed in hindsight) are the tools I lean on during the "dark night of the soul".
I hate to be alone.
I don't have any haters. I'm envied as an extroverted artist model.
Wait until your around certain narcissist that become obsessed with you . They start out as admirers but that not there real intentions. When i was on the move daily as celebrated artist i was avasive harder to pin down. Its when you make your self available and it will happen no ones career stays same forever 😅 good luck
thank you
I’ll call you you pick me up wiggle camping cuddle, and then we hit the road and just drive to the beach
Hey ✨the dark night of the soul ✨
Did you go through one as an infj?
What is that and what happens.
It's the poem of St John of the Cross, written while he was imprisoned in Toledo
Am I misperceiving inner peace as boredom (and throwing away a good in the process), or am I taking it to the next level? How can I distinguish the difference?
More like dark years of the soul.
What if you want to do donuts on their remains bumping Biggie Smalls and ruminating over your ex instead?
Eliza Lodge
You leave.
✌️💯
👸🏻 💯
💪💪💪
❤❤❤
✌️💛
🔥🐦🔥❤️💛
Thank you!
exactly, well said @wenzes