Turn offs for men (out of order): 1. Comparing me to her ex 2. Never laughs. I've dated women like this. They have a straight face no matter what the situation, when any other girl would laugh or smile. 3. Smoking. 4. She's a feminist (not a traditional feminist, but modern day feminist). NOT relationship material. 5. Rude to people, or makes snide comments behind their backs (like at a restaurant complaining about a waiter/ waitress). 6. Constantly talks about herself, never asks questions about you or what you think 7. Never calls or texts without you initiating it 8. Staring at her phone while I'm talking. Once in a while is okay, but too much is annoying. 9. Asks you for unusual favors too early in the relationship. 10. Full of herself.
yeah, i think the best dating advice would be: girls think they are queens and essentially they are... so just get used to being belittled and bullshitted by women...
Here is a under raided turn off that has saved me headaches over the years. How does she pay her bill/tab? •Cash, you are most likely in good hands. •debt card, if used as a last resort but still acceptable. •credit card, unless they bring up the topic of trying to build up credit or anything along those lines. Boom red flag because 9 times out of 10 they're faking their social status. If so what else are they faking?
1 Following too many IG models. 2 Arrogance. 3 Laziness. 4 Risky photos too early. 5 Unclear intentions. 6 Lying. 7 Lack of self-care. 8 Being pessimistic. 9 Being rude (to anyone). 10 Smoking.
@@CourtneyRyan honestly the unclear intentions one is tough to be called a turnoff because we as men feel that some girls aren’t transparent with what they want.
@@SolitarySoldier that’s very true, especially with dating now. I think it’s important to call people out when they’re being unhealthy though. It’s all about balance. If you play dumb games you get dumb prizes 😅
I told her the truth. I was not lying. I told her 'honey, it's not the dress that makes you look fat, it's the FAT that makes you look fat' My doctors say I should be discharged soon. On another note, plenty of these points can be applied to women too. I HATE it when people(men and women alike) are rude to customer service reps. Those guys prolly get paid slightly more than min wage and though they might be working for a bad company, they are not bad folks 99% of the time.
The one time I called to yell at a business(I hardly do it) but my patience was so out of it for a few months of working to try and get things corrected, I told the rep: "I want to yell, is this recorded?" he replied: "Yes sir, it is" I told him: "My anger is not directed at you, you're here trying to keep people happy while your bosses just sit there, I am not angry with you, this is out of your control" he thanked me and I proceeded to yell, at the end I apologized and reaffirmed it was at his bosses, not him.
After being destroyed by a 10 years relationship without understanding anything that I've done wrong, finding channels like yours is just the best! Complete game changer! More and more I'm understanding what I've done wrong and that the last straw was her getting deep into modern feminism. Please, don't stop your great work here! ;D PS: your voice is lovely. So soothing ^^
I've been dealing with a lot of immature, confusing, and unreasonable women lately, so it's easy to start thinking all women are like that. You're a fresh reminder that that's not all that's out there, thank you
Im currently dealing with a few red flags in my relationship and so this video came along with the others of yours ive seen today. The laziness turn off is me, it just helped me realize what I need to do and thank you so much for helping me realize it. My girl is very demanding and there are red flags in numbers I wont get into but the part of laziness on my part is a STRONG wake up for me. Thanks CR! Keep posting great help videos
As an avid cigar smokers that last one poked just a little bit. Lol. Great channel I appreciate how in depth yet practical your feedback is without all the flashy gimmicks. It is also refreshing to see a young woman online not endorse toxic behaviors that have curupted impressionable minds and poisoned adult relations.
Smoking is normally a turn off if it's habit based smoking. The question is, are you smoking because you have to, or because you are relaxing and want to? To add on to that, how often do you smoke? Daily is likely a problem, but a cigar on thanksgiving isn't.
@@gdargdar91 YES. The heightpill is often the least talked about, but it is the most real. For alot of women (especially young women), it quite literally doesn't matter what other 'attractive' traits you have. If you fall below a certain height benchmark, you are simply not a potential dating prospect to them. Simply being tall (bonus points if you're muscular) allows a man to have alot of scope for flaws or shortcomings but still be deemed overall attractive / appealing. For instance, a number of social studies done have shown that short men have to earn virtually double what a tall man earns to be perceived as an equally desirable dating prospect. And in that vein, the women aren't really dating you because they genuinely desire and are attracted to *you* as a man, they're dating you because of the things you've achieved, the resources you've gained, or the other non-physical things you bring to the table. The reality is, even the women like Courtney, for instance, who say that "height isn't everything" and that "they'd be happy to date a shorter guy" overlook the fact that being happy to do something, or being open to the possibility of something, isn't the same as actively wanting to do something, or following through with it. In all of these cases, dating the 'shorter guy' is seen as a sort of compromise, an afterthought and a 'maybe' (providing he compensates in other ways). That's like a man saying "well, I wouldn't rule out dating a fat woman, if I got to know her and developed feelings for her", but at the same time, he considers fat women an overall inferior option, would always choose the slimmer or more shapely girl if he had the opportunity to, and would never actively seek out a fat girl. In the same way, all of these women that say things like "I don't mind shorter men" would ultimately prefer to date a taller version of whatever short man is in question. You also need to see that the proof is in the pudding. How many of these girls who say that 'height doesn't matter', are actually *with* shorter guys? Next to none, lol. And if they've dated short guys, it's always an ex (and now they're with their husband or forever guy, who is...surprise surprise...tall!) Isn't that all just a magical coincidence! Look at Courtney, as an example of this. Claims that height isn't everything. yet her boyfriend is a big strapping lad who's a whole head and shoulders bigger than she is lmao. A lot of women end up dating the 5,7" guy, is because this guy has the personality, lifestyle and behavioural traits that they wish the 6,3" fuckboi they previously dated would have had. Like, nobody denies that Tom Cruise is attractive, but he is attractive in spite of his height, not because of it; his height doesn't do anything to add to his appeal, and if he were taller, he would be significantly more attractive overall. I mean, just look at the sort of things girls were saying about Kit Harrington (who plays Jon Snow in Game of Thrones) when they found out he was short. Tonnes of girls coming out expressing their disappointment at finding out his height, and that they can't see him the same way now! Indeed, this is *with* all his other attractive qualities...being good-looking, having great hair, being in-shape, being a damn world-famous millionaire actor...all nullified in the eyes of these women because he wasn't tall, lol. As I said, if you fall below a the minimum benchmark of height that a woman wants, it can be quite literally impossible for her to view you as attractive or a potential dating option, regardless of whatever else you bring to the table. Now, Kit Harrington obviously still had millions of women swooning for him despite his height (and he's not even that small tbh, he's like 5,7 or 5,8), but notwithstanding his stature, he is representative of the 0.1% man lol. We do not have fame, wealth, or oftentimes even that level of good-looks to fall back on. For the average man who is small, it is truly incredibly tough out there. It always irks me a bit when women on RUclips or wherever try to dismiss it as being a pivotal issue and the crux of your success in dating as a man. I know they mean well, but they ignore the observable realities of how important height is in dating for men. Seriously, I have 2 male friends who are complete bums in terms of their lifestyle, barely held down a job, dress like teenagers don't have a good physique, and have average-looking faces, but they've all had various dating and sexual partners compared to me and my close friend who is also short, despite us having all those other supposed 'attractive' qualities. Difference is, those 2 friends are 6,2 and 6,3 respectively. Now, you will get girls saying "well you must be doing something wrong", or "you need to work on your personality", as a means to justify our failures with women, but that is simply ignoring the elephant in the room. Repeated experiences result in identified trends, and it is an observably reality that other men, who are tall / large, who have crappy personalities, are not interesting people, and are not successful financially, generally do fine with women. So, if the issue was the 'personality', 'social skills' or 'hygiene' of short men, why would this not also apply to tall men? Gee, I wonder. And then, as the icing on the cake, come the women who say "the right woman won't care about your height!. Because, I mean, what does this imply, exactly? It implies there's *someone* out there, but just not her. In her mind, this 'right woman' is always someone else, because objectively you're not undesirable (as you're successful, smart, funny, well-dressed, in-shape, and all the rest of it), but you're not attractive to *her* because you're 5,6". Well, when pretty much every single woman has this mentality, you're left with...no dating options! Or needles in a haystack at best. This is a damn essay but just wanted to outline my thoughts. It's brutal out there for short men in the 2020s.
Turns off for men... 1. Lack of confidence, especially when it comes to body image and fashion. A rocking body so much more about attitude and self esteem than curves/makeup and what not. If you find yourself sexy, chances are we will too. 2. Inability to be humble. This extends to playing love games, failure to admit when you are wrong, failure to apologize after a fight, the need to "win" fights... No one is perfect, get over your self, just be real, compromise and let's move on.
I guess I have been a little lazy the past few years.. but I work hard and live comfortably! But yeah, I could try harder at getting out of my home. I hope I'm not too old.
Love your channel - no "this works on every woman (please buy my guaranteed-to-score-Course)" nonsense, but intelligent, grounded, genuinly good advice. Your channel really makes me want to better myself. Keep up the good work and keep proving that good looks and intelligence are only mutually exclusive in the minds of insecure men...
Theres loads of stuff that works on every woman like being the dominant abusive alpha male, money and power, being a top p#ick up artist, being unpleasent and arrogant, being in jai, disrespect, if you have that combination you will get ANY woman, look at Donald Trump EVERY woman likes him !
So is doing something too early they see a guy\girl they think is Hot they will rip their own cloths off. It's mostly for the Guys\Girls who have to work the hardest to get notice.
That arrogant one is so true. I told one of my friends once that girls like confidence and sense of humour He literally started making fun of his crush... like borderline bullying.. 😂😂😂
Teasing or making fun of your crush a bit is probably fine but anything that is borderline bullying or going agro with the roasts is too much. Lol a little bit of teasing or jokes can work well.
Not true. Attractive women sleep with good looking arrogant men all the time. They also tend to get confidence and cockiness mixed up. I agree that being arrogant isn't a good trait, but if you're good looking it isn't a deal breaker at first.
@@Dude-oh8vq More like if you have money. Then you could be a mass murderer and most women would jump into bed with you if you had enough. I'm 6'3 was about an 8 to 9 out of 10 in my late 20's was olympic level fit and had a reasonable job that paid more than I needed to live. Could I get a GF could I hell. Now I'm fat and disabled (due to an injury) and look like I overdosed on ugly pills, while falling out of the ugly tree and hitting every branch on the way down., but I am now in a very financially secure situation they are round me like flies round shite,
Amen to that Courtney! No matter how beautiful the woman, there is no bigger a turn off for me as a non-smoking male to see a woman light up a cancer stick! Instant turn off for me, I completely lose any and all interest.
You could make an entire video on the laziness that you were speaking of. You make a great point that it goes so much deeper than just sitting around doing nothing. Getting stuck in a rut, being depressed, not having confidence, all lead to "laziness". I see many married men fall in this category, just making a paycheck to support the family and becoming a hollow shell of who they used to be, and the wife seeing this and subsequently losing attraction, then it spirals from there. Thank you for your content, Courtney.
This 100%! My boyfriend became lazy after I was together with him for a few years. By the seventh year, I got sick of it and I didnt feel in love with him anymore as I felt there was no emotional connection and no romance. We ultimately broke up.
@@HaleyMary Did you ever consider that you played a part in the failure of the relationship? Most relationships fail because their partners fail to live up to the agreements they originally made. Almost 60% or more marriages fail because one or the other side failed to live up to the agreement to be a faithful mate. One expects more from the other. The other believes his or her mate has not followed through with their promises. So one or the other decides to give up. Unfortunately, that's the state of marital relationships these days. The saddest part of either partner is living up to their promise to love and obey each other. This includes children who may complicate the situation. If either partner is not ready to provide 50% of their private time to the marriage, then the other party will feel abused and unappreciated. This is why so many marriages fail. Neither party takes their vows of marriage as a "sacrament" under God, as they did when they gave their marital vows. Remember when you got married you promised to love and obey each other until death do you part? Unless, your marriage was invalid because their was no promise to God that the marriage would be a life long promise to love and obey each other in accord with the teachings of the Church, your marriage is invalid under God and only valid under state law. Wow, a state law marriage, what effect does that have when a $500 fee for the Court can start a complaint for a divorce? If you got married outside of the church and had a simple marriage with a justice of the peace then you had a civil marriage without the grace of God. It's still a valid marriage under state law, but so what good is that? Good luck to you. I pray that all marriages made under an oath taken under God continues to be blessed forever. If not, just go to Las Vegas and take your chances. You can get married in one day and get divorced about a month later. It's your choice. If your husband is useless, then examine yourself and decide if you are a part of it. If you conclude that you did everything you can, you can always get a civil divorce. But if you got a civil divorce, keep in mind that in God's eye you might still be married to him forever and getting remarried just might be an act of adultery. If you don't believe in the God of Abraham and/or a Catholic or a protestant God, then so be it. But if you do, you have to think twice. I recommend you speak with a Catholic Priest, or if a Protestent, a member of your Church's leadership before you take any further action. IMHO of course.
@@daffidavit I was never married. It was a relationship that ended before my ex boyfriend and I married. We were together for five years. I'm abstinent/chaste, but I think my ex resented that. I don't think he had the same values as me and that's probably why it ended.
@@CourtneyRyan and also the insta models is just social media and some girls do it to. Also have you heard that if guy isnt in relationship by 29 they most likely gay. I think its prejudice pov from girls tbf
@@thrasherdave1428 Courtney is not my boss or yours. Women usually have two personalities. The one they use when they are around people they try to make an impression. Then their true self. Quit be so whipped.
The turn off regarding quiting smoking has to be addressed asap all around the world through all informational platforms because a lot of fake fantasies promoted by social media, and entertainment media in the form of perfection has created a visual perception of smoking as something amazing. It's not cool at all !
depends on what you're smoking. Many of these "Instagram models", even the VS models like Candice and Elsa smoke cigarettes because tobacco suppresses your appetite, a reason many are as skinny as they are. I smoke cigars and as most women know, that's a sign you have disposable income. My go to cigar is $40 and once a day at minimum adds up. Cigars are amazing, FYI.
@@SirRobbins Sorry Bro, women don't dig cigars, I also hate them especially when some douchebag fires one up at the craps table in Vegas and I'm downwind, I take my chips and cash out. It's like a Boomer thing, no one thinks it looks cool or makes you cool smoking cigars except the person smoking them just like Harley Davidsons.
Well, taking care of yourself is a personality trait, so it's definitely something important. I completely agree about the unclear intentions chapter. After a while you just get tired of chasing girls who don't know what they want or about who you always have to feel uncertain, like it could go either way.
Great advice! Really insightful content for anyone seeking a mature, successful and productive relationship. It is scary to see how many people are playing games out there and advising others to do the same....awful! Love the channel Courtney, thank you.
Love your content Courtney! I think it’s super interesting to get the female perspective on a lot of different topics concerning men’s self-improvement.
Good grooming shows optimism and self love. Those who neglect their grooming quite obviously are likely to be suffering from depression, low opinion of their value as people, and self hate.
For men, a date with women is often a job interview, while it should be the other way around. Ladies, remember one thing: tattoos on a woman's body are a downright turn off for men.
It can but women dont need to bother deciphering the difference if you have either its zero consiquence for them to reject you without a moments thoughts, you and me and all men who arent fammour or rich are pretty much worthless !
@andrerxn8203 You're not wrong at all. And the key to breaking out IS (counter-intuitively) to start doing the shit you're dreading/avoiding doing. But with that said, on the whole "depression looks like laziness", I just wanna say inertia is a hell of a thing, that's all. Never takes me more than *maybe* a couple weeks to break it, but it can be hard to get a still train chugging along, ya know what I'm saying? 🤣✌🏻
I understand that depression is not like a headache and it doesn't simply go away, but if you're in a really depressive state, you should not be dating.
This mentality is fucked, and people with it never end up where they want to be, because you make excuses. Don't make excuses, do the damn work, and do it for you, not for anyone else. Then you'll be where you wanna be.Ambition doesn't mean money. Ambition means you want to better yourself. When I was in the military I was a highly ambitious person. I wanted to max pt, to master all my tasks. my uniform was spot on everytime. I was 5 minutes early for being early. I did this because I wanted schools, and a lot of times those go to the first guy that pops in the RNCO or CO's head when a slot opens. I wanted that to be me, so I could go to school, and get promoted faster. The difference between where I was and where I could go is poverty to lower middle class. Not chasing money, chasing the best version of myself. Quit making excuses and start putting in the work. Trust me you'll get where you wanna be if you just take the time to develop a skill, find something you're passionate about and pursue it, something you love waking up for, something that strive to be great at. It can be your job, it can be a hobby it can be anything but find a passion and chase it, this will give you confidence, purpose, and it will allow you to develop discipline. Take care of yourself, bathe, groom ,work out (don't have to be a gym rat but be healthy, go for a run, do calisthenics in the morning, yoga, life cycle whatever(great places to meet people btw, not girls, gyms aren't for pick ups, but people who have value.) and focus on what you can control and ignore what you can't. Those things with some work and time will put you in a head space, and create an aura around you that will draw in the right people. Now it won't fix target fixation, where you put some girl on a pedestal and you can't have her so the world is fucked and if you were rich, attractive, blabla. That you have to clean out on your own, the second it hits. Kill it like a cancer. High value attracts high value, victims attract wolves and other victims.
@@michag4337 there are a lot of people coping in these comments putting forth the idea that none of this applies to them because they aren’t a 10/10 in the looks department and it’s honestly sad.
Great content Courtney. I’m sure we can all agree that all of these can go both ways but number 7 is a huge thing that men (especially younger men) in 2021 need to hear. I preach to my friends all the time that the time and money you spend on yourself is an investment to getting a job, connections, and a lady. You speak the truth, keep em coming!
Courtney, you have failed to include the following, so if you could rate them from 1 to 10 (with 1 being worst and 10 being best): 1) Picking your nose 2) Picking your nose in public 3) Picking your nose and eating it 4) picking your nose and eating it and then assuring your partner that it is a great source of protein Thanks for your help!
You are something else, and I’m not talking about the way you look! As an older man, I wish there were things like this when I was younger. You speak truth.❤️🤘🏻
My top 3: Smoking, drugs and lack of self confidence. I just recently ended an 8 month relationship with a former classmate who was dealing with all 3 at same time and was on the verge of suicide (saying I was the one keeping her alive) when we reconnected thru Facebook in October 2021.. She was a cheerleader all thru school and very pretty inside and out, but dropped out of college unbeknownst to her parents because she couldn’t make rent to become a “adult” dancer in Miami. She then got into drugs and alcohol and was pretty messed up. Her parents found out brought her back home and she started going to AA and NA meetings while taking classes to finally graduate in 2009 in sociology. We’re both in our late 40s (I’m 48 and she 49) and I genuinely cared about her.. even saying I love you after 4 months. I always supported and helped her thru rough times as she went to meetings, but her lack of self esteem was getting to me. I’d ask her to name 5 things she liked about herself.. she couldn’t.. ok. Tell me one thing, anything., she couldn’t. I kept trying to help with lots of hugs, kisses and romance with a nice candlelight dinner and slow dance. I tried to show her there are good caring guys out there. But the negativity about everything, lack of ambition got to me and was bringing me down.
Unfortunately, it's good you ended the relationship. You did what you could. Now, no one can complain that you abandoned her. You deserve to live happily. If she's depressed, let her be. You can't save everyone. Don't try. It's amazing to me on how she was so pretty back then, and then her life became a very sad one. It goes on to show that being beautiful, tall, rich, driving a great car, being muscular, graduating with a great degree, etc does not guarantee happiness.
@@joebeta1837 yeah, I agree. Money helps but it’s not everything in life. I’ve known Kathy since 7th grade but oddly enough we didn’t have a single class together. We ran with different crowds, so when she msged me first I was happily surprised, I didn’t think she knew I existed. My graduating HS class was about 250. From the day we reconnected in October 2021, we opened right up. We learned we shared so much in common. I told her things I have never shared and she did the same. We texted or talked every day in those 8 months, and when she told me she went down the path she did, completely shocked. She was a straight A student with lots going for her. If I could post a picture here I would, a total knockout and out of my league. She told me I made her want to better herself, but saw no change in the time we dated. She felt safe with me, even breaking down crying in my car during a heart to heart talk. I didn’t see her as a sex machine but a beautiful human. You’re right I can’t save everyone. We’re still Facebook friends but haven’t talked since I broke it off.
I’ve enjoyed your videos and your down-to-earth perspectives. It’s very beneficial to get a woman’s take on things. I hope you continue and find more success. It’ll happen!
Hey Courtney! What are your thoughts on MGTOW? It seems like a lot of men have given up on relationships. It has brought a lot of heartbreak such as; being cheated on, manipulated, and taken advantage of. I feel like it has led men to wanting to hit-and-quit and have multiple partners. What are your thoughts?
I see people who say they are a glass half empty or half full is really limiting and restrictive because it focuses on the function of the glass; rather my approach is to ask do I have the right size glass?
I am convinced you are an absolute God send! You are such an incredible tool to use to understand a woman’s perspective. Its always hard as a cold calculating person to think in the perspective of other people, but watching you has made things so much easier. My mind is as ease now knowing what you’ve taught me. I’m very appreciative of all your work Courtney :) Also I think one of the reasons YOU help more than anyone else on youtube is your opinion seems so streamline, down the middle, correct. Besides the things that you mostly value are definitely things I want my woman to value. I’m also very appreciative that you clearly outreach other woman and ask what they think to get a general consensus about your answers. Your work has certainly done wonders in more than just my life. Thank you for your calling to help men :) this is certainly a calling that few even have the ability to answer. You are a significant and important individual to the human race :) God bless
The smoking habit is a big one. I will go out of my way to avoid a female that smokes no matter what else she has going for her. This includes vaping. I used to smoke but people at church put so much pressure on me that I finally quit many years ago. My girlfriend quit when we became involved many years ago. We are both happy to be smoke free.
My thoughts on each talking point... 1.) I don't have an Instagram account. 2.) Humility is not my problem, either. However, I do have Asperger's Syndrome. Some people mistake that for arrogance or some other negative personality trait. 3.) I'm not a workaholic, but I'm not lazy, either. I do have goals and am working towards them. (Starting a business, finishing this 2nd college degree, et al.) 4.) I wouldn't ask for her to send me naked pictures. That can get out of hand and be used for blackmail by less honorable people. :O 5.) My intentions are usually quite obvious. I wish I know how to express how much I hate mind games. I have washed my hands of people because of that non-sense. 6.) If anything, I'm probably too honest. Also, I won't be dating anyone that snoops around through their boyfriend's things/phone/et al. 7.) I do need to eat healthier. I will admit to that... 8.) I don't want to be pessimistic, no mater how awful this fallen world gets. 9.) I'm not purposely rude to anyone... unless that person is such an asshole that anyone would be mean to them. 10.) I refuse to smoke. I've seen people die from Cancer because of those things. I don't know why anyone would want to do that to themselves.
High quality people don't worry about what the other person's doing. It's the low quality people that have trust issues. Why would you be looking through somebody's social media. That's an instant no-no. And I don't even use social media
really what this video is, is teaching all of us about the supreme importance of being more morally decent human beings. this applies even to the ones on her list about personal hygiene and good health habits, because just as we should treat other people with respect, so should we have self-respect. and btw, i totally, 100%, absolutely agree with her disgust for smoking. i absolutely hate it, and still have memories from my childhood of my uncle deliberately blowing smoke in my face as his heartless, shallow wife cheered him on. one of the few good things about our society compared to previous generations, is that our society today has successfully managed to marginalize smokers
LOL! Smokers don't tend to puff smoke onto others, let alone onto kids. You uncle was just an a-hole and it had nothing to do with him smoking. I smoke and never did so in non-smoking areas - and even before the bans on inside public places and everyone was smoking inside, I would go outside to smoke to not bother anyone. I agree with marginalising smoking - even for me as a smoker it was unacceptable to see people smoking in offices and all the building smelling smoke, I much rather prefer the outside smoking area which gives me the chance to make a break and recollect my thoughts. However on the rest, I disagree. While I don't disagree with what you say about how important is for people to be decent human beings, I wholeheartedly disagree about your idea that men striving to be decent human beings will help them in their romantic life. You are a victimised man who believes still int he 21st century that women want they things they say the want. LOL! No man, no! Stop being a victim! Even scientists (the last to acknowledge but hey, they eventually did it!) proved it nowadays that women are precisely drawn sexually from men presenting dark triads. What are these? Narcissism, Machiavellian, Sociopathy/Psychopathy. I am sorry to shutter your world but there is a reason why pick up artists underlined the motto "Don't look what they say, look what they do and above all the men they select". If women were drawn to decent human beings pick-up artists would strive to pretend being decent human beings - and fact of the matter is that they had tested that strategy too but it did not work. What worked best in most of the situations was emulating narcissists and sociopaths. Let that sink in...
A big generational change, indeed. An anecdote about this from the generation where this changed: A scientist friend of mine, female, was single into her 40s, as most of her male colleagues were terminally socially awkward. At a college reunion, she happened to start talking to a male classmate she hadn't known well. They turned out to have a great deal in common, mostly NOT in science (music was a big connection). She mused to me why she didn't remember him from when we were in school and realized it was because he was a smoker. It just automatically dismissed him from serious consideration. He'd quit some years before and hasn't smoked since. They've now been happily married for almost 30 years. Never would have come about if he'd still smoked.
The difference between a "Woman vs Girl"💪 A real WOMAN doesn't need to be on Instagram exposing herself, to prove her worth✊ Her intellect is her beauty and her beauty comes from within💖 A girl on the other hand, needs constant attention to feel worthy and her beauty is superficial👎
It makes me wonder now - if being completely HONEST about not taking an advantage of a vulnerable girl (torn between her past and present) and only seeking sexual favours worked against ME, totally …. Broke my heart for sure .. but love for you - Courtney - at least you are putting the right facts forward.
I don't see myself as physically attractive due to my complete lack of dating experience and I have a few "quirks" that probably turn off people, I would agree on cigarette smoking, even as a guy. Many years ago, I had a co-worker who was being very friendly and I was not sure if she was trying to hit on me, especially as she was beyond my league. I once saw her on break smoking a cigarette and it was an absolute turn-off.
Hey Courtney, wanted to get your thoughts on this: From what you’ve heard, how do girls view someone who doesn’t have FB or Insta, etc? I deleted mine over a year ago and still feel good after doing it! But I was just curious as to how women might view someone when you say you don’t have social media? Thx for the great content 🙂
@Courtney Ryan same! Although from my experience, a lot of women get really suspicious. Like, you don't have social media? I'm then either fake or "playing them." Saying that it's because of work, or wanting to avoid drama negativity doesn't seem to help either, legit as it may be. Any second opions?
@@danielkirk1837 Those are some of my thoughts as well. Kind of damned if you do damned if you don’t. If you have an account they’ll scour it to find dirt on you and if you don’t have one, well then, you must be a serial killer lol
Actually a really interesting question, and good reply from Courtney as well. Perhaps have a LinkedIn profile for “business reasons and connections” so you have a social media presence, but sack off Facebook and Instagram as “you wanted more time to yourself to meditate and not seeing other people’s drama”...
I really love these videos you do! Everything you talk about, my mom and dad have been trying to teach me since I was a teenager. But, I started watching your videos, and there's so much wisdom in your words. It's easier hearing it from you since you're very beautiful and possibly not much older than me.
Only exception for me personally, is if you're already in a steady relationship and both of you are separated for an extended period of time and decide to exchange pics
Courtney, you have the nicest, most non-judgmental way of presenting difficult, unpleasant subjects. You seem to be very kind-hearted and empathetic. I love that about you!
@@CourtneyRyan It's the thing about you that immediately stood out to me. You talk about really offensive flaws that guys have, yet you do it in a way that isn't meant to put those guys down, or make them feel bad about themselves. You give them hope by humbly suggesting how they can make some adjustments that will lead them away from the unattractive qualities and into more healthy thought and lifestyle choices. You are both positive and realistic.
You articulated yourself pretty well, it's nice to see. I'm not looking for someone, I just thought that I would pop over to see if I'm on the right track. Thanks, Courtney.
Yah, VERY good point! 🤔 I know why, I swear most of them on the dating scene do it ALL, and way more than guys! The smoking turnoff at the end was just personal to Courtney. Many women smoke something and she don't care. These rules don't apply the higher your SMV # is 😎
I corny I just wanted to tell you that I love you videos in your honest perspective. I have seen videos from guys and girls and yours are the most informative and truthful with all. Thank you for helping our society which needs lots and lots of help you are awesome and I really appreciate you
thanks for possibly taking some heat and receiving negative comments to make a point about the smoking. I don't smoke, but my elderly mother picked it up again and it's so hard to watch people you care about slow killing themselves and/or being addicted to any form of drug.
Thank you for posting this video. I recently started dating an amazing woman and just wanted confirmation that I am doing the right things... luckily, it appears I am!
#1 is totally valid. Even as a guy I actually use it to judge what kind of person a guy is. If a dude is following a lot of insta hoes that means he is desperate for women and may be a drag to hang out as the desperation will reek through him
“There’s nothing good that comes from smoking” Spoken like a true non-smoker. I’m in the process of quitting for all the reasons mentioned but , fuck me, do I love smoking
I just watched this video and that was the most realistic and perfect list. Keep up the good work of your still doing this. You seem to be a very intelligent woman. Great job!
Never ran across you before, but what renewed hope that I have for the youth of America! You're an absolute sweetheart and I was pleasantly surprised at how deeply rooted the 'moral compass' is on your list. Pleasantly surprised. God Bless you! 🙂
Great video. One thing I would add is being your word and walking the talk. Related to this is being on time. Not easy but really important in life. If you say you're going to be somewhere at a certain time then you need to be there. Or give reasonable notice and provide an alternative. If you say you are going to do something, (good that is!) then you need to follow through. Credibility is attractive.
They be checking your $tatu$, friends, followers, basically see how big your life and wallet is and if you're "worthy" of her. They looking for Chads and Tyrones, but we can't follow hot IG Models, really?! They must be jealous 🤣 Its all hipocritical bs 👉💃💲
Why do people complicate things? Take care of yourself physically and mentally. Get exercise, a decent diet, and regular grooming. Have goals and be productive. Pursue hobbies and interests. Socialize with a good social circle. Do what makes you and others feel good. Ask for what you need and give what is asked of you in relationships. Avoid or minimize compulsions. Be spontaneous and / or introduce variety. Don't be lost in the past or future. Be present and listen. Money isn't everything but have enough to do what you want.
I love people like you lol. You say why do people complicate things then give a super long laundry list of complicated stuff that requires a lot of judgement to make work. Just say what you want without asking rhetorical questions.
(1) no money (2) no high-profile friends (3) you refuse to parade her around (4) you don't drop your entire plans for the day, whenever she calls (5) if you don't like one-night stands (6) if you don't believe everything she says (7) you don't anticipate every crazy whim she might think of (8) you don't tell her how intelligent she is (9) excuse her every negative action or inappropriate reply to anyone (10) refuse to be her doormat when she needs one
At 5.15 of the video Ms Ryan speaks about guys "molding themselves according to who they are dating" as being not a good thing. I think you can take this point to an extreme bc it's not always a bad thing to want to be more like someone you admire for having character qualities you/I don't have. If you think about it for a while you might come to realize that imitation is a way to show your partner a complement-- that you want to be more like them. Yes, definitely try out different hobbies, different areas of life that hold interest for you-- that keep you engaged(in the "flow state"?) But, remember also that "mirroring" as a bonding technique is an integral part of the bonding process and is a part of interdependent living.
You would be surprised how often that happens for real. I used to know a guy my age (I'm 54) who had only left home to get a degree then came back and stayed. He lived off pizza and chinese take away. I met him through online gaming and he was in my old home town. I dont think he tidied his flat the entire time I knew him either.
Girls that smoke is a huge turn off for men as well.
Agreed. I think most of these could definitely go both ways! Besides maybe the insta model one 😂
Even worse: smoking and drinking. Drinkers are liars as well, and often smoke as well. Daily drinkers definitely have an alcohol problem.
@@CourtneyRyan Actually, having a girl who follows a bunch of dudes on Instagram for their looks would be a bit of a turn-off.
I dont mind a women who smokes
I havent go on a date on few females didnt even ask and females sent nake photos and videos lol so ehh
Turn offs for men (out of order):
1. Comparing me to her ex
2. Never laughs. I've dated women like this. They have a straight face no matter what the situation, when any other girl would laugh or smile.
3. Smoking.
4. She's a feminist (not a traditional feminist, but modern day feminist). NOT relationship material.
5. Rude to people, or makes snide comments behind their backs (like at a restaurant complaining about a waiter/ waitress).
6. Constantly talks about herself, never asks questions about you or what you think
7. Never calls or texts without you initiating it
8. Staring at her phone while I'm talking. Once in a while is okay, but too much is annoying.
9. Asks you for unusual favors too early in the relationship.
10. Full of herself.
Good points. Though, some point there unfortunately points that she is not interested or wants to take advantage of you.
"too friendly to everyone" too
yeah, i think the best dating advice would be: girls think they are queens and essentially they are... so just get used to being belittled and bullshitted by women...
Here is a under raided turn off that has saved me headaches over the years.
How does she pay her bill/tab?
•Cash, you are most likely in good hands.
•debt card, if used as a last resort but still acceptable.
•credit card, unless they bring up the topic of trying to build up credit or anything along those lines. Boom red flag because 9 times out of 10 they're faking their social status. If so what else are they faking?
You missed the mother of ALL turn off from Women.... COMPLAINING/WHINING/BITCHING!
1 Following too many IG models.
2 Arrogance.
3 Laziness.
4 Risky photos too early.
5 Unclear intentions.
6 Lying.
7 Lack of self-care.
8 Being pessimistic.
9 Being rude (to anyone).
10 Smoking.
👏🏼👏🏼
1 & 3. What if your hobby is following instagram models?
@@CourtneyRyan honestly the unclear intentions one is tough to be called a turnoff because we as men feel that some girls aren’t transparent with what they want.
@@SolitarySoldier that’s very true, especially with dating now. I think it’s important to call people out when they’re being unhealthy though. It’s all about balance. If you play dumb games you get dumb prizes 😅
@@CourtneyRyan completely agree with you
I told her the truth. I was not lying. I told her 'honey, it's not the dress that makes you look fat, it's the FAT that makes you look fat'
My doctors say I should be discharged soon.
On another note, plenty of these points can be applied to women too. I HATE it when people(men and women alike) are rude to customer service reps. Those guys prolly get paid slightly more than min wage and though they might be working for a bad company, they are not bad folks 99% of the time.
The one time I called to yell at a business(I hardly do it) but my patience was so out of it for a few months of working to try and get things corrected, I told the rep: "I want to yell, is this recorded?" he replied: "Yes sir, it is" I told him: "My anger is not directed at you, you're here trying to keep people happy while your bosses just sit there, I am not angry with you, this is out of your control" he thanked me and I proceeded to yell, at the end I apologized and reaffirmed it was at his bosses, not him.
I love that line, it's from my all time favorite Al Bundy
After being destroyed by a 10 years relationship without understanding anything that I've done wrong, finding channels like yours is just the best! Complete game changer!
More and more I'm understanding what I've done wrong and that the last straw was her getting deep into modern feminism.
Please, don't stop your great work here! ;D
PS: your voice is lovely. So soothing ^^
10 years damn... how you feel? Waste 10 years of your dude all that money and effort spent , did you even get kids ?
@@rodneyh1947 It sucks. But, we didn't have children. Only cats.
Well... That's life. If we don't learn, we get screwed and have to learn anyway ;D
I've been dealing with a lot of immature, confusing, and unreasonable women lately, so it's easy to start thinking all women are like that. You're a fresh reminder that that's not all that's out there, thank you
Insecure women too.
Most flags are from women who don't like you and never did. Women who like a man do not behave horribly.
There seems to be a lot of them. It's getting to the point of fuck em, leave em, or don't date them.
sounds like YOU are making those choices... you may need to level up as a man to start attracting higher value
On point:exemplary respected comment.
Girl: I'm an Instagram model!
Guy: I'm a soldier on call of duty...
😂😂😂
Bahahahahahahahahaha
😂😂that’s freaking hilarious!
Set a date, we have a winner! XD
@John /me pressing F
I will never ever pay for an only fans.
Amen brother thats just pathetic.
Only simps pay for that
again*
It means you have a brain :)
@@Culencio.Mierdandez Lol
Im currently dealing with a few red flags in my relationship and so this video came along with the others of yours ive seen today. The laziness turn off is me, it just helped me realize what I need to do and thank you so much for helping me realize it. My girl is very demanding and there are red flags in numbers I wont get into but the part of laziness on my part is a STRONG wake up for me. Thanks CR! Keep posting great help videos
As an avid cigar smokers that last one poked just a little bit. Lol. Great channel I appreciate how in depth yet practical your feedback is without all the flashy gimmicks. It is also refreshing to see a young woman online not endorse toxic behaviors that have curupted impressionable minds and poisoned adult relations.
Smoking is normally a turn off if it's habit based smoking.
The question is, are you smoking because you have to, or because you are relaxing and want to?
To add on to that, how often do you smoke? Daily is likely a problem, but a cigar on thanksgiving isn't.
Courtney is like the helpful sister I never had. I have a sister, just not a helpful one😅.
Edit: Thank you for so many likes
👏🏼😂
I can relate to you so much. I do also have a older sister who actually annoys me rather than being helpful.
I want her to be my "stepsister" lol
@@SmoKyBruceLee I do not think you had bad intentions behind this joke but it might offend her.
Same my sister is a waste of space lol
0: Being physically unattractive. Only if you pass this first barrier the other 10 reasons apply.
TRUTH
Then for me there is a barrier before that. No integrity no interest.
Yes. To be more precise: "Not being tall." Most of a man's physical attractiveness is determined by his height.
@@gdargdar91 lol no
You can be an effing 'Chad' but you'll never 'get her' for more than hours/sex if you don t have money
@@gdargdar91 YES. The heightpill is often the least talked about, but it is the most real. For alot of women (especially young women), it quite literally doesn't matter what other 'attractive' traits you have. If you fall below a certain height benchmark, you are simply not a potential dating prospect to them. Simply being tall (bonus points if you're muscular) allows a man to have alot of scope for flaws or shortcomings but still be deemed overall attractive / appealing. For instance, a number of social studies done have shown that short men have to earn virtually double what a tall man earns to be perceived as an equally desirable dating prospect. And in that vein, the women aren't really dating you because they genuinely desire and are attracted to *you* as a man, they're dating you because of the things you've achieved, the resources you've gained, or the other non-physical things you bring to the table.
The reality is, even the women like Courtney, for instance, who say that "height isn't everything" and that "they'd be happy to date a shorter guy" overlook the fact that being happy to do something, or being open to the possibility of something, isn't the same as actively wanting to do something, or following through with it. In all of these cases, dating the 'shorter guy' is seen as a sort of compromise, an afterthought and a 'maybe' (providing he compensates in other ways). That's like a man saying "well, I wouldn't rule out dating a fat woman, if I got to know her and developed feelings for her", but at the same time, he considers fat women an overall inferior option, would always choose the slimmer or more shapely girl if he had the opportunity to, and would never actively seek out a fat girl. In the same way, all of these women that say things like "I don't mind shorter men" would ultimately prefer to date a taller version of whatever short man is in question. You also need to see that the proof is in the pudding. How many of these girls who say that 'height doesn't matter', are actually *with* shorter guys? Next to none, lol. And if they've dated short guys, it's always an ex (and now they're with their husband or forever guy, who is...surprise surprise...tall!) Isn't that all just a magical coincidence! Look at Courtney, as an example of this. Claims that height isn't everything. yet her boyfriend is a big strapping lad who's a whole head and shoulders bigger than she is lmao.
A lot of women end up dating the 5,7" guy, is because this guy has the personality, lifestyle and behavioural traits that they wish the 6,3" fuckboi they previously dated would have had. Like, nobody denies that Tom Cruise is attractive, but he is attractive in spite of his height, not because of it; his height doesn't do anything to add to his appeal, and if he were taller, he would be significantly more attractive overall. I mean, just look at the sort of things girls were saying about Kit Harrington (who plays Jon Snow in Game of Thrones) when they found out he was short. Tonnes of girls coming out expressing their disappointment at finding out his height, and that they can't see him the same way now! Indeed, this is *with* all his other attractive qualities...being good-looking, having great hair, being in-shape, being a damn world-famous millionaire actor...all nullified in the eyes of these women because he wasn't tall, lol. As I said, if you fall below a the minimum benchmark of height that a woman wants, it can be quite literally impossible for her to view you as attractive or a potential dating option, regardless of whatever else you bring to the table. Now, Kit Harrington obviously still had millions of women swooning for him despite his height (and he's not even that small tbh, he's like 5,7 or 5,8), but notwithstanding his stature, he is representative of the 0.1% man lol. We do not have fame, wealth, or oftentimes even that level of good-looks to fall back on. For the average man who is small, it is truly incredibly tough out there.
It always irks me a bit when women on RUclips or wherever try to dismiss it as being a pivotal issue and the crux of your success in dating as a man. I know they mean well, but they ignore the observable realities of how important height is in dating for men. Seriously, I have 2 male friends who are complete bums in terms of their lifestyle, barely held down a job, dress like teenagers don't have a good physique, and have average-looking faces, but they've all had various dating and sexual partners compared to me and my close friend who is also short, despite us having all those other supposed 'attractive' qualities. Difference is, those 2 friends are 6,2 and 6,3 respectively. Now, you will get girls saying "well you must be doing something wrong", or "you need to work on your personality", as a means to justify our failures with women, but that is simply ignoring the elephant in the room. Repeated experiences result in identified trends, and it is an observably reality that other men, who are tall / large, who have crappy personalities, are not interesting people, and are not successful financially, generally do fine with women. So, if the issue was the 'personality', 'social skills' or 'hygiene' of short men, why would this not also apply to tall men? Gee, I wonder. And then, as the icing on the cake, come the women who say "the right woman won't care about your height!. Because, I mean, what does this imply, exactly? It implies there's *someone* out there, but just not her. In her mind, this 'right woman' is always someone else, because objectively you're not undesirable (as you're successful, smart, funny, well-dressed, in-shape, and all the rest of it), but you're not attractive to *her* because you're 5,6". Well, when pretty much every single woman has this mentality, you're left with...no dating options! Or needles in a haystack at best. This is a damn essay but just wanted to outline my thoughts. It's brutal out there for short men in the 2020s.
Turns off for men...
1. Lack of confidence, especially when it comes to body image and fashion. A rocking body so much more about attitude and self esteem than curves/makeup and what not. If you find yourself sexy, chances are we will too.
2. Inability to be humble. This extends to playing love games, failure to admit when you are wrong, failure to apologize after a fight, the need to "win" fights... No one is perfect, get over your self, just be real, compromise and let's move on.
#2! Hell yeah! All excellent point
@Yama Fanboy obviously you are not a golfer
@Yama Fanboy obviously you don't get that reference
#3 can’t put down their damn phones
Yes, 100% agree
I guess I have been a little lazy the past few years.. but I work hard and live comfortably! But yeah, I could try harder at getting out of my home. I hope I'm not too old.
100% me right now
Love your channel - no "this works on every woman (please buy my guaranteed-to-score-Course)" nonsense, but intelligent, grounded, genuinly good advice. Your channel really makes me want to better myself. Keep up the good work and keep proving that good looks and intelligence are only mutually exclusive in the minds of insecure men...
Theres loads of stuff that works on every woman like being the dominant abusive alpha male, money and power, being a top p#ick up artist, being unpleasent and arrogant, being in jai, disrespect, if you have that combination you will get ANY woman, look at Donald Trump EVERY woman likes him !
Dont forget that these turn offs are not applied to super attractive men. This goes both ways btw.
So is doing something too early they see a guy\girl they think is Hot they will rip their own cloths off. It's mostly for the Guys\Girls who have to work the hardest to get notice.
SPEAK💋❤🍦🍡🍑👔👓!!!)
Well, you are not super attractive, so maybe you should pay attention.
@@randyg22152 yeah no Im already red pilled xD
@@dimabu3265 he said that you are not super attractive, which is implying that he only thinks you are kinda cute.
This girl is so genuine & articulate, LOVE it
A girl who smokes is also a turn off!
Kissing a smoker is like licking an ashtray... Oh *yum*! :-p
Exactly.
Facts
yes, but when they exhale in the face it's touching.
I disliked your comment, because I want my woman smoking.... smoking Hott!! Lol
You had me laughing out loud at your passion against smoking hahaha! IT'S SO TRUE!
yeah, that asking for "provocative photos too early" always gets me....thanks for straightening me out!
That arrogant one is so true.
I told one of my friends once that girls like confidence and sense of humour
He literally started making fun of his crush... like borderline bullying.. 😂😂😂
Oh boy 😅😅 he needs my channel! Haha
Teasing or making fun of your crush a bit is probably fine but anything that is borderline bullying or going agro with the roasts is too much. Lol a little bit of teasing or jokes can work well.
Not true. Attractive women sleep with good looking arrogant men all the time. They also tend to get confidence and cockiness mixed up.
I agree that being arrogant isn't a good trait, but if you're good looking it isn't a deal breaker at first.
@@Dude-oh8vq More like if you have money. Then you could be a mass murderer and most women would jump into bed with you if you had enough. I'm 6'3 was about an 8 to 9 out of 10 in my late 20's was olympic level fit and had a reasonable job that paid more than I needed to live. Could I get a GF could I hell. Now I'm fat and disabled (due to an injury) and look like I overdosed on ugly pills, while falling out of the ugly tree and hitting every branch on the way down., but I am now in a very financially secure situation they are round me like flies round shite,
Make a fool pray to God and he'll split his forehead open :)
The ladies can't keep their eyes off of me when I wear my Crocs, and I add sport socks for extra attention. 😌
😂😂 if you’ve got the confidence you can rock anything in the world. Untouchable 👏🏼
you need to put them in sport mode too
This is the look when I step out of my DB11 at starbucks
He's married to the LOOOORD'S mistress, and he's wearing crocs...WIT SOCKS!!!
What a crock! 😁
Amen to that Courtney! No matter how beautiful the woman, there is no bigger a turn off for me as a non-smoking male to see a woman light up a cancer stick! Instant turn off for me, I completely lose any and all interest.
You could make an entire video on the laziness that you were speaking of. You make a great point that it goes so much deeper than just sitting around doing nothing. Getting stuck in a rut, being depressed, not having confidence, all lead to "laziness". I see many married men fall in this category, just making a paycheck to support the family and becoming a hollow shell of who they used to be, and the wife seeing this and subsequently losing attraction, then it spirals from there.
Thank you for your content, Courtney.
This 100%! My boyfriend became lazy after I was together with him for a few years. By the seventh year, I got sick of it and I didnt feel in love with him anymore as I felt there was no emotional connection and no romance. We ultimately broke up.
You hit the "head on the nail" so to speak.
@@HaleyMary Did you ever consider that you played a part in the failure of the relationship? Most relationships fail because their partners fail to live up to the agreements they originally made. Almost 60% or more marriages fail because one or the other side failed to live up to the agreement to be a faithful mate. One expects more from the other. The other believes his or her mate has not followed through with their promises. So one or the other decides to give up. Unfortunately, that's the state of marital relationships these days. The saddest part of either partner is living up to their promise to love and obey each other. This includes children who may complicate the situation. If either partner is not ready to provide 50% of their private time to the marriage, then the other party will feel abused and unappreciated. This is why so many marriages fail. Neither party takes their vows of marriage as a "sacrament" under God, as they did when they gave their marital vows. Remember when you got married you promised to love and obey each other until death do you part?
Unless, your marriage was invalid because their was no promise to God that the marriage would be a life long promise to love and obey each other in accord with the teachings of the Church, your marriage is invalid under God and only valid under state law. Wow, a state law marriage, what effect does that have when a $500 fee for the Court can start a complaint for a divorce? If you got married outside of the church and had a simple marriage with a justice of the peace then you had a civil marriage without the grace of God. It's still a valid marriage under state law, but so what good is that? Good luck to you. I pray that all marriages made under an oath taken under God continues to be blessed forever. If not, just go to Las Vegas and take your chances. You can get married in one day and get divorced about a month later. It's your choice. If your husband is useless, then examine yourself and decide if you are a part of it. If you conclude that you did everything you can, you can always get a civil divorce. But if you got a civil divorce, keep in mind that in God's eye you might still be married to him forever and getting remarried just might be an act of adultery. If you don't believe in the God of Abraham and/or a Catholic or a protestant God, then so be it. But if you do, you have to think twice. I recommend you speak with a Catholic Priest, or if a Protestent, a member of your Church's leadership before you take any further action. IMHO of course.
@@daffidavit I was never married. It was a relationship that ended before my ex boyfriend and I married. We were together for five years. I'm abstinent/chaste, but I think my ex resented that. I don't think he had the same values as me and that's probably why it ended.
had a cig in my hand when you brought up that last point. i puffed it in defiance while knowing you're spitting straight facts
Finding you as helped me out so much. Thank you
Glad to hear it ☺️ thanks for watching!
@@CourtneyRyan and also the insta models is just social media and some girls do it to. Also have you heard that if guy isnt in relationship by 29 they most likely gay. I think its prejudice pov from girls tbf
You are getting her best side. You think she is like this when the camera is not rolling? Hahaha. She's a woman.
@@Old-Dog00 Mate as if you're a saint at all times lol. As if I talk to my boss the same way as I talk to my mates
@@thrasherdave1428 Courtney is not my boss or yours. Women usually have two personalities. The one they use when they are around people they try to make an impression. Then their true self. Quit be so whipped.
The turn off regarding quiting smoking has to be addressed asap all around the world through all informational platforms because a lot of fake fantasies promoted by social media, and entertainment media in the form of perfection has created a visual perception of smoking as something amazing. It's not cool at all !
And it makes them stink something vile. I mean who wants to kiss an ashtray, cus thats what you're doing.
A woman who drinks too much is worse than smoking. Even before I started smoking I didn’t find it a turnoff I the slightest. Looze The Booze
Above all it's extremely unhealthy
depends on what you're smoking. Many of these "Instagram models", even the VS models like Candice and Elsa smoke cigarettes because tobacco suppresses your appetite, a reason many are as skinny as they are. I smoke cigars and as most women know, that's a sign you have disposable income. My go to cigar is $40 and once a day at minimum adds up. Cigars are amazing, FYI.
@@SirRobbins Sorry Bro, women don't dig cigars, I also hate them especially when some douchebag fires one up at the craps table in Vegas and I'm downwind, I take my chips and cash out. It's like a Boomer thing, no one thinks it looks cool or makes you cool smoking cigars except the person smoking them just like Harley Davidsons.
Well, taking care of yourself is a personality trait, so it's definitely something important. I completely agree about the unclear intentions chapter. After a while you just get tired of chasing girls who don't know what they want or about who you always have to feel uncertain, like it could go either way.
Great advice! Really insightful content for anyone seeking a mature, successful and productive relationship. It is scary to see how many people are playing games out there and advising others to do the same....awful! Love the channel Courtney, thank you.
I'm in my late 40's and thinking about dating again. Your videos have been super helpful on managing this new world of dating. Love the content!
@InThisTogether no!
@@Eletricmayhem what about now
32, fixing my life, and yea.
👏🏽IT’S👏🏽A👏🏽TRAP
@@lordbola2162 you will have to wait for the Hallmark special to find out !
Love your content Courtney! I think it’s super interesting to get the female perspective on a lot of different topics concerning men’s self-improvement.
Thank you so much! Happy to hear it 😊
@@CourtneyRyan tru, coming from another prodigy
Good grooming shows optimism and self love. Those who neglect their grooming quite obviously are likely to be suffering from depression, low opinion of their value as people, and self hate.
This
Love your content Courtney! Your voice is so smooth and relaxing and the way you explain things is so articulative. Keep up the great work 👏
For men, a date with women is often a job interview, while it should be the other way around. Ladies, remember one thing: tattoos on a woman's body are a downright turn off for men.
Depression can be misinterpreted as laziness.
Then maybe get healthy and date once you are.
It can but women dont need to bother deciphering the difference if you have either its zero consiquence for them to reject you without a moments thoughts, you and me and all men who arent fammour or rich are pretty much worthless !
@andrerxn too bad it doesnt work like that
@andrerxn8203 You're not wrong at all. And the key to breaking out IS (counter-intuitively) to start doing the shit you're dreading/avoiding doing.
But with that said, on the whole "depression looks like laziness", I just wanna say inertia is a hell of a thing, that's all. Never takes me more than *maybe* a couple weeks to break it, but it can be hard to get a still train chugging along, ya know what I'm saying? 🤣✌🏻
I understand that depression is not like a headache and it doesn't simply go away, but if you're in a really depressive state, you should not be dating.
Ambition means money. Not to be confused with striving to live in a happy, exciting and loving relationship.
This mentality is fucked, and people with it never end up where they want to be, because you make excuses. Don't make excuses, do the damn work, and do it for you, not for anyone else. Then you'll be where you wanna be.Ambition doesn't mean money. Ambition means you want to better yourself. When I was in the military I was a highly ambitious person. I wanted to max pt, to master all my tasks. my uniform was spot on everytime. I was 5 minutes early for being early. I did this because I wanted schools, and a lot of times those go to the first guy that pops in the RNCO or CO's head when a slot opens. I wanted that to be me, so I could go to school, and get promoted faster.
The difference between where I was and where I could go is poverty to lower middle class. Not chasing money, chasing the best version of myself.
Quit making excuses and start putting in the work. Trust me you'll get where you wanna be if you just take the time to develop a skill, find something you're passionate about and pursue it, something you love waking up for, something that strive to be great at. It can be your job, it can be a hobby it can be anything but find a passion and chase it, this will give you confidence, purpose, and it will allow you to develop discipline. Take care of yourself, bathe, groom ,work out (don't have to be a gym rat but be healthy, go for a run, do calisthenics in the morning, yoga, life cycle whatever(great places to meet people btw, not girls, gyms aren't for pick ups, but people who have value.) and focus on what you can control and ignore what you can't.
Those things with some work and time will put you in a head space, and create an aura around you that will draw in the right people. Now it won't fix target fixation, where you put some girl on a pedestal and you can't have her so the world is fucked and if you were rich, attractive, blabla. That you have to clean out on your own, the second it hits. Kill it like a cancer.
High value attracts high value, victims attract wolves and other victims.
@@michag4337 there are a lot of people coping in these comments putting forth the idea that none of this applies to them because they aren’t a 10/10 in the looks department and it’s honestly sad.
Great content Courtney. I’m sure we can all agree that all of these can go both ways but number 7 is a huge thing that men (especially younger men) in 2021 need to hear. I preach to my friends all the time that the time and money you spend on yourself is an investment to getting a job, connections, and a lady. You speak the truth, keep em coming!
Courtney, you have failed to include the following, so if you could rate them from 1 to 10 (with 1 being worst and 10 being best):
1) Picking your nose
2) Picking your nose in public
3) Picking your nose and eating it
4) picking your nose and eating it and then assuring your partner that it is a great source of protein
Thanks for your help!
YEP THAT SHOULD TURN THEM OFF LOL !!
Or scratching your crutch or backside in public/Farting in a lift.
Be a nitpicker, not a nose picker.
Pissing in the sink...
What about a Dutch oven?
You are something else, and I’m not talking about the way you look! As an older man, I wish there were things like this when I was younger. You speak truth.❤️🤘🏻
My top 3: Smoking, drugs and lack of self confidence. I just recently ended an 8 month relationship with a former classmate who was dealing with all 3 at same time and was on the verge of suicide (saying I was the one keeping her alive) when we reconnected thru Facebook in October 2021.. She was a cheerleader all thru school and very pretty inside and out, but dropped out of college unbeknownst to her parents because she couldn’t make rent to become a “adult” dancer in Miami. She then got into drugs and alcohol and was pretty messed up. Her parents found out brought her back home and she started going to AA and NA meetings while taking classes to finally graduate in 2009 in sociology.
We’re both in our late 40s (I’m 48 and she 49) and I genuinely cared about her.. even saying I love you after 4 months. I always supported and helped her thru rough times as she went to meetings, but her lack of self esteem was getting to me. I’d ask her to name 5 things she liked about herself.. she couldn’t.. ok. Tell me one thing, anything., she couldn’t. I kept trying to help with lots of hugs, kisses and romance with a nice candlelight dinner and slow dance. I tried to show her there are good caring guys out there. But the negativity about everything, lack of ambition got to me and was bringing me down.
Unfortunately, it's good you ended the relationship. You did what you could. Now, no one can complain that you abandoned her. You deserve to live happily. If she's depressed, let her be. You can't save everyone. Don't try.
It's amazing to me on how she was so pretty back then, and then her life became a very sad one. It goes on to show that being beautiful, tall, rich, driving a great car, being muscular, graduating with a great degree, etc does not guarantee happiness.
@@joebeta1837 yeah, I agree. Money helps but it’s not everything in life. I’ve known Kathy since 7th grade but oddly enough we didn’t have a single class together. We ran with different crowds, so when she msged me first I was happily surprised, I didn’t think she knew I existed. My graduating HS class was about 250. From the day we reconnected in October 2021, we opened right up. We learned we shared so much in common. I told her things I have never shared and she did the same. We texted or talked every day in those 8 months, and when she told me she went down the path she did, completely shocked. She was a straight A student with lots going for her. If I could post a picture here I would, a total knockout and out of my league. She told me I made her want to better herself, but saw no change in the time we dated. She felt safe with me, even breaking down crying in my car during a heart to heart talk. I didn’t see her as a sex machine but a beautiful human. You’re right I can’t save everyone. We’re still Facebook friends but haven’t talked since I broke it off.
Cuuuhhhhoollld bluhded
I’ve enjoyed your videos and your down-to-earth perspectives. It’s very beneficial to get a woman’s take on things.
I hope you continue and find more success. It’ll happen!
Aw, thank you so much! I appreciate it 🥰
All pretty reasonable. Especially “lying”. Integrity is so important.
I'm single because I am looking for a woman with something close to my level of integrity.
@@gordonlawrence1448 You won't find it my friend....but I'm sure you already know that. Take care brother.
Hey Courtney! What are your thoughts on MGTOW? It seems like a lot of men have given up on relationships. It has brought a lot of heartbreak such as; being cheated on, manipulated, and taken advantage of. I feel like it has led men to wanting to hit-and-quit and have multiple partners. What are your thoughts?
I see people who say they are a glass half empty or half full is really limiting and restrictive because it focuses on the function of the glass; rather my approach is to ask do I have the right size glass?
I am convinced you are an absolute God send! You are such an incredible tool to use to understand a woman’s perspective.
Its always hard as a cold calculating person to think in the perspective of other people, but watching you has made things so much easier. My mind is as ease now knowing what you’ve taught me. I’m very appreciative of all your work Courtney :)
Also I think one of the reasons YOU help more than anyone else on youtube is your opinion seems so streamline, down the middle, correct. Besides the things that you mostly value are definitely things I want my woman to value. I’m also very appreciative that you clearly outreach other woman and ask what they think to get a general consensus about your answers. Your work has certainly done wonders in more than just my life. Thank you for your calling to help men :) this is certainly a calling that few even have the ability to answer. You are a significant and important individual to the human race :) God bless
The smoking habit is a big one. I will go out of my way to avoid a female that smokes no matter what else she has going for her. This includes vaping. I used to smoke but people at church put so much pressure on me that I finally quit many years ago. My girlfriend quit when we became involved many years ago. We are both happy to be smoke free.
"Honestly guys it's going to make you look like a douchebag." No one ever said that with such calm and class.
My thoughts on each talking point...
1.) I don't have an Instagram account.
2.) Humility is not my problem, either. However, I do have Asperger's Syndrome. Some people mistake that for arrogance or some other negative personality trait.
3.) I'm not a workaholic, but I'm not lazy, either. I do have goals and am working towards them. (Starting a business, finishing this 2nd college degree, et al.)
4.) I wouldn't ask for her to send me naked pictures. That can get out of hand and be used for blackmail by less honorable people. :O
5.) My intentions are usually quite obvious. I wish I know how to express how much I hate mind games. I have washed my hands of people because of that non-sense.
6.) If anything, I'm probably too honest. Also, I won't be dating anyone that snoops around through their boyfriend's things/phone/et al.
7.) I do need to eat healthier. I will admit to that...
8.) I don't want to be pessimistic, no mater how awful this fallen world gets.
9.) I'm not purposely rude to anyone... unless that person is such an asshole that anyone would be mean to them.
10.) I refuse to smoke. I've seen people die from Cancer because of those things.
I don't know why anyone would want to do that to themselves.
This comment deserves more "likes."
"exchange risky photos" hahaha, I love the way she put it. Cute and concise. You're very witty Courtney.
High quality people don't worry about what the other person's doing. It's the low quality people that have trust issues. Why would you be looking through somebody's social media. That's an instant no-no. And I don't even use social media
Finally found the perfect channel for what I was looking for..cheers
really what this video is, is teaching all of us about the supreme importance of being more morally decent human beings. this applies even to the ones on her list about personal hygiene and good health habits, because just as we should treat other people with respect, so should we have self-respect. and btw, i totally, 100%, absolutely agree with her disgust for smoking. i absolutely hate it, and still have memories from my childhood of my uncle deliberately blowing smoke in my face as his heartless, shallow wife cheered him on. one of the few good things about our society compared to previous generations, is that our society today has successfully managed to marginalize smokers
LOL! Smokers don't tend to puff smoke onto others, let alone onto kids. You uncle was just an a-hole and it had nothing to do with him smoking. I smoke and never did so in non-smoking areas - and even before the bans on inside public places and everyone was smoking inside, I would go outside to smoke to not bother anyone. I agree with marginalising smoking - even for me as a smoker it was unacceptable to see people smoking in offices and all the building smelling smoke, I much rather prefer the outside smoking area which gives me the chance to make a break and recollect my thoughts.
However on the rest, I disagree. While I don't disagree with what you say about how important is for people to be decent human beings, I wholeheartedly disagree about your idea that men striving to be decent human beings will help them in their romantic life. You are a victimised man who believes still int he 21st century that women want they things they say the want. LOL! No man, no! Stop being a victim! Even scientists (the last to acknowledge but hey, they eventually did it!) proved it nowadays that women are precisely drawn sexually from men presenting dark triads. What are these? Narcissism, Machiavellian, Sociopathy/Psychopathy. I am sorry to shutter your world but there is a reason why pick up artists underlined the motto "Don't look what they say, look what they do and above all the men they select". If women were drawn to decent human beings pick-up artists would strive to pretend being decent human beings - and fact of the matter is that they had tested that strategy too but it did not work. What worked best in most of the situations was emulating narcissists and sociopaths. Let that sink in...
A big generational change, indeed. An anecdote about this from the generation where this changed: A scientist friend of mine, female, was single into her 40s, as most of her male colleagues were terminally socially awkward. At a college reunion, she happened to start talking to a male classmate she hadn't known well. They turned out to have a great deal in common, mostly NOT in science (music was a big connection). She mused to me why she didn't remember him from when we were in school and realized it was because he was a smoker. It just automatically dismissed him from serious consideration. He'd quit some years before and hasn't smoked since. They've now been happily married for almost 30 years. Never would have come about if he'd still smoked.
The difference between a "Woman vs Girl"💪
A real WOMAN doesn't need to be on Instagram exposing herself, to prove her worth✊
Her intellect is her beauty and her beauty comes from within💖
A girl on the other hand, needs constant attention to feel worthy and her beauty is superficial👎
Very well stated sir!
It makes me wonder now - if being completely HONEST about not taking an advantage of a vulnerable girl (torn between her past and present) and only seeking sexual favours worked against ME, totally …. Broke my heart for sure .. but love for you - Courtney - at least you are putting the right facts forward.
I don't see myself as physically attractive due to my complete lack of dating experience and I have a few "quirks" that probably turn off people, I would agree on cigarette smoking, even as a guy. Many years ago, I had a co-worker who was being very friendly and I was not sure if she was trying to hit on me, especially as she was beyond my league. I once saw her on break smoking a cigarette and it was an absolute turn-off.
Never share risky photos, period. You'll live to regret it.
@@ulisses2022 that's not the point
Bring back... Teddy(your boyfriend). When you do a Top 10 Men's Turnoffs. For verification & confirmation😁 Loved the vid and Thankyou❤
Hey Courtney, wanted to get your thoughts on this:
From what you’ve heard, how do girls view someone who doesn’t have FB or Insta, etc? I deleted mine over a year ago and still feel good after doing it!
But I was just curious as to how women might view someone when you say you don’t have social media? Thx for the great content 🙂
@Courtney Ryan same! Although from my experience, a lot of women get really suspicious. Like, you don't have social media? I'm then either fake or "playing them." Saying that it's because of work, or wanting to avoid drama negativity doesn't seem to help either, legit as it may be. Any second opions?
@@danielkirk1837 Those are some of my thoughts as well. Kind of damned if you do damned if you don’t. If you have an account they’ll scour it to find dirt on you and if you don’t have one, well then, you must be a serial killer lol
They'll find you mysterious because they can't snoop at your stuff and stalk you.
Actually a really interesting question, and good reply from Courtney as well. Perhaps have a LinkedIn profile for “business reasons and connections” so you have a social media presence, but sack off Facebook and Instagram as “you wanted more time to yourself to meditate and not seeing other people’s drama”...
@John maybe Teddys finally poppin the question to her tonight 😏 💍
I really love these videos you do! Everything you talk about, my mom and dad have been trying to teach me since I was a teenager. But, I started watching your videos, and there's so much wisdom in your words. It's easier hearing it from you since you're very beautiful and possibly not much older than me.
Great advice, especially on how you treat people that are serving you.
tbh, it wouldn't even occur to me to ask for nude photos at any point.
wtf is wrong with people these days 🙄
Only exception for me personally, is if you're already in a steady relationship and both of you are separated for an extended period of time and decide to exchange pics
I just get them sent to me I don't have to ask.
That's objectifying the person and not part of dating, how dare she calls it normal
Courtney, you have the nicest, most non-judgmental way of presenting difficult, unpleasant subjects. You seem to be very kind-hearted and empathetic. I love that about you!
This was just the sweetest thing I’ve ever read! Thank you for making my day 🥺
@@CourtneyRyan It's the thing about you that immediately stood out to me. You talk about really offensive flaws that guys have, yet you do it in a way that isn't meant to put those guys down, or make them feel bad about themselves. You give them hope by humbly suggesting how they can make some adjustments that will lead them away from the unattractive qualities and into more healthy thought and lifestyle choices. You are both positive and realistic.
Can you do a video on What to say to women when you try to approach them if you’ve never met. Like what to say in an attempt to complement them.
Definitely 👏🏼
You articulated yourself pretty well, it's nice to see. I'm not looking for someone, I just thought that I would pop over to see if I'm on the right track. Thanks, Courtney.
Thanks for all your advice Courtney. You're like the younger sister I never asked for. Have a good Easter. Virtual hugs.
I found it interesting that she never mentioned drinking too much or recreational drugs.
Yah, VERY good point! 🤔 I know why, I swear most of them on the dating scene do it ALL, and way more than guys! The smoking turnoff at the end was just personal to Courtney. Many women smoke something and she don't care. These rules don't apply the higher your SMV # is 😎
@@Wize817 Your comment: "...these rules don't apply the higher your SMV is."
Excellent point! Brother, I agree 100%.
Nothing worse than a drunkard ass bish that is loud and gross
#9 Right back at the ladies. I've been out with a few who were really rude to servers.
or complains about the food on purpose to try to get it for free.
Only a few?
Courtney - you are a super-hero using your powers for the good of humanity. Much appreciated!
Courtney to the rescue!! Thank you for the comment 🥰
I corny I just wanted to tell you that I love you videos in your honest perspective.
I have seen videos from guys and girls and yours are the most informative and truthful with all. Thank you for helping our society which needs lots and lots of help you are awesome and I really appreciate you
thanks for possibly taking some heat and receiving negative comments to make a point about the smoking. I don't smoke, but my elderly mother picked it up again and it's so hard to watch people you care about slow killing themselves and/or being addicted to any form of drug.
"no honey, i Will not unfollow Courtney!"
i like how she gathers not just a consensus around herself, but her friends as well. taking a holistic approach compared to other channels🙄
Of course!! 👏🏼 I want my info to be as accurate as possible
And here I thought she only painted a picture of her and her friends instead of giving an accurate representation of women as a whole.
Dodged #1 just like that, I do not use Instagram :)
Thank you for posting this video. I recently started dating an amazing woman and just wanted confirmation that I am doing the right things... luckily, it appears I am!
#1 is totally valid. Even as a guy I actually use it to judge what kind of person a guy is. If a dude is following a lot of insta hoes that means he is desperate for women and may be a drag to hang out as the desperation will reek through him
“There’s nothing good that comes from smoking”
Spoken like a true non-smoker. I’m in the process of quitting for all the reasons mentioned but , fuck me, do I love smoking
Thanks for the advice, Miss. You're like my RUclips sister.
Ahhh I love that. You’re so welcome ☺️ thanks for watching!
The point of a man's life should be to please God, not a woman.
I loved the tone of your videos. Nice calm colours and animations. Besides you speak gentle and smart. Well done 👏 girl
I just watched this video and that was the most realistic and perfect list. Keep up the good work of your still doing this. You seem to be a very intelligent woman.
Great job!
To all the guys out there
"If u want to catch a fish u don't ask a fish , u ask a Fisherman " 😁😁
""Careful""
You can easily judge the character of a man by how he treats those who can do nothing for him.
I hope I don’t do any of these! Guess it just depends on who I’m talking to 😂
😂 watch until the end!!
@@CourtneyRyan 😂 will do!!
Never ran across you before, but what renewed hope that I have for the youth of America! You're an absolute sweetheart and I was pleasantly surprised at how deeply rooted the 'moral compass' is on your list. Pleasantly surprised. God Bless you! 🙂
Great video. One thing I would add is being your word and walking the talk. Related to this is being on time. Not easy but really important in life. If you say you're going to be somewhere at a certain time then you need to be there. Or give reasonable notice and provide an alternative. If you say you are going to do something, (good that is!) then you need to follow through. Credibility is attractive.
Pursuant to point 1: What would my potential girlfriend be doing spying on my Instagram in the first place???
And facebook, and twitter, and everything else you have... so, YES!
They be checking your $tatu$, friends, followers, basically see how big your life and wallet is and if you're "worthy" of her. They looking for Chads and Tyrones, but we can't follow hot IG Models, really?! They must be jealous 🤣 Its all hipocritical bs 👉💃💲
Why do people complicate things?
Take care of yourself physically and mentally.
Get exercise, a decent diet, and regular grooming.
Have goals and be productive. Pursue hobbies and interests.
Socialize with a good social circle. Do what makes you and others feel good.
Ask for what you need and give what is asked of you in relationships.
Avoid or minimize compulsions. Be spontaneous and / or introduce variety.
Don't be lost in the past or future. Be present and listen.
Money isn't everything but have enough to do what you want.
I love people like you lol. You say why do people complicate things then give a super long laundry list of complicated stuff that requires a lot of judgement to make work. Just say what you want without asking rhetorical questions.
(1) no money (2) no high-profile friends (3) you refuse to parade her around (4) you don't drop your entire plans for the day, whenever she calls (5) if you don't like one-night stands (6) if you don't believe everything she says (7) you don't anticipate every crazy whim she might think of (8) you don't tell her how intelligent she is (9) excuse her every negative action or inappropriate reply to anyone (10) refuse to be her doormat when she needs one
I was about to say "thats not true lol" and then remembered a lot of girls really are like that :/
At 5.15 of the video Ms Ryan speaks about guys "molding themselves according to who they are dating" as being not a good thing.
I think you can take this point to an extreme bc it's not always a bad thing to want to be more like someone you admire for having character qualities you/I don't have.
If you think about it for a while you might come to realize that imitation is a way to show your partner a complement-- that you want to be more like them.
Yes, definitely try out different hobbies, different areas of life that hold interest for you-- that keep you engaged(in the "flow state"?)
But, remember also that "mirroring" as a bonding technique is an integral part of the bonding process and is a part of interdependent living.
Thank you for this list, I will make sure I implement every one of them immediately. ;)
Hey courtney !!
Why are you so gorgeous 😇😇
BTW i love you videos!!!
Thank you so much 🥰
Guy : Breaths
Girl : gross
Courtney is the ‘best guy’s wingwoman’
Great to look at seducing & dating woman expert
The smoking is a big one! Lots of good tips, thanks x.
As a practicing stoic male it's really difficult to date.
"You're acting like you're the best of the best!"
Delta force member: Hold my night vision goggles
4:13 Living with your parents at 50 , playing video games eating again junk food 🤣🤣🤣 I’m dead Courtney you’re the best 🙌🏽
You would be surprised how often that happens for real. I used to know a guy my age (I'm 54) who had only left home to get a degree then came back and stayed. He lived off pizza and chinese take away. I met him through online gaming and he was in my old home town. I dont think he tidied his flat the entire time I knew him either.
biggest turn off for modern women: blue collar men
sad but true
Depends where you live
ah hahaha! Yeah, working hard at a trade is too much like an honest living. She wants to skip right to the palace and servants that she deserves.
@@InspectorDeck like metallica says, sad but true
I agree with you on most of your points especially smoking! 10 years ago I would tolerate that in a woman but not now!
You have some great insights as a social-therapist. Would be interested in hearing how you became so insightful.