this is what happened and how it changed my art practice + tiny art haul
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- Опубликовано: 15 сен 2022
- so many things happened during this month, both good and bad; I worked AND took time off, all of this without Instagram, RUclips and Twitter. And I've learned A LOT of things about myself, my life and my art practice.
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VIDEO CREDITS
Thank you so so much to super Kevin for writing the spanish subtitles! We loooove you Keviin!
All my music is from Epidemic Sound
Camera
all videos filmed until December 2019 were filmed with a Canon EOS m with a 22mm lens (REALLY recommend if you're starting out, although it doesn't have a manual focus mode, it's cheap and the quality is great)
Now I'm using a Canon EOS M6 mark II with a 22mm lens
I use DaVinci Resolve for editing!
Things you don't know about this video: Going to Beacon NY was the first time I've traveled (with the purpose of taking holiday/vacation) all by myself and it was so niceeee! Every time I've taken time off I thought "well why should I book an airbnb if I can stay at my own place", but now I can tell how restful and healing it was to get away from the city for a few days and read and watch studio Ghibli movies. I finished Murakami's Kafka on The Shore (which I didn't like, so weird cause I like Murakami) and started reading Solaris : - )
I’m really sorry about Cereal. I also had to put down my dog Tater (animals named after food club!!) this month, and it’s excruciating. You verbalized this perfectly. I, too, struggle to just FEEL THE FEELS when they happen. I’m always so scared if I start crying I’ll just never ever stop. But it always stops. I’m glad you’ve given yourself space to grieve in the way that feels right for you. Thanks for all your content and for sharing your grief (and animals and art!) with us.
If it helps anyone, when you're in Instagram, if you tap the Instagram logo (there's a teeny arrow next to it), you get a dropdown for your "Following" and "Favorites" feeds. This has been a gamechanger for my sanity but I haven't found how to make this setting a default. You have to remember to set it each time you go in.
Omg!! I did not know that! Thank you!
Ohhhhh
Amazing thank you
Gamechanger! Thank-you!👏🤩
Thank you!!!
I'm so sorry about the passing of Cereal. Losing a pet is the worst and so painful. My heart goes out to you ❤
I sometimes would put on movies I know would make me cry to do the jumpstart of having the "acceptable" cry. The release would then tap the real reason I had wanted to cry. It helped give the reason when I was setting up those annoying blockers not allowing me to feel the sadness. Also, I had to do the pained goodbye in 2021 to my cat, Mimi, of 18 years after I knew it was her time. (And, yes, it was very hard to be both responsible and loving in care to make that appointment to let her go.) She was my buddy through so many parts of my life, and it felt very hollow with her being gone. But, just forewarning, the cat universe has been alerted. It may not be this month or year, but they have already enlisted a representative to find you. (One came by my apartment last month after being abandoned by her owner after they moved. Her microchip read "Mimsy". I took it as a sign Mimi had given the approval and sent her.)
Awww.
A couple of years ago I also had to also make the decision to put down my kitty of 20 years. It was like you said, such a unique grief that didn’t compare to anything else. I painted a picture of him that made me happy to look back on in the future as a way to process my grief. I couldn’t hang it up right away as I was still grieving but a year later I did and now it makes me smile every time I see it. I’d recommend it if you think that might help you too. ❤
Fran, loosing a member of your family is devastating. I lost my furry one a year and a half ago and I’m still grieving. Take the time you need, we’ll be here as always.❤
I really appreciate your transparency and wholeness in the presentation of yourself! Sharing these vulnerable moments really can help others reflect themselves ❤
Love to have you back, Fran! Your haircut looks amazing. I’m so sorry for the loss of your cat, sending you comfort and healing. ♥️
Fran, I am so sorry for your loss. In 2020 my husband and I lost our toy chihuahua, Cooper to congestive heart failure. Cooper was going to celebrate his 14th birthday with us. I have never mothered a human child, but for me Cooper was my child. Losing him was a crushing blow. I didn't give myself time to truly grieve losing him and I regret it. My body certainly paid for it in anxiety and panic attacks, and depressive episodes. Basically, cry your eyes out mi amiga. I learned culturally how inconvenient crying could be, and how much weakness it showed. I have trouble crying. There is never a good time, and I fight the urge to the point of inducing migraines.
As someone who uses social media to procrastinate and unwind, I also found your video to be eye-opening. Thank you for sharing what you learned from your month away from social media. Thank you for inspiring me to look at social media as a tool more than a coping device.
I started taking a break from instagram (which was my only social media thing… I guess I dont count RUclips because I haven’t ever done the endless scrolling with it) at the beginning of august and to be honest I’m very very tempted to not go back. I feel so much happier and like I have so much more space in my brain for other things that are way more satisfying. More importantly, I’m so sorry about Cereal… losing a pet is the absolute worst, most painful thing.
I feel like RUclips is the last social media I have that actually allows long format videos and you have time to breath and connect. With Instagram, Facebook, and TikTok it’s always chasing the next thing you never feel settled or satisfied?
Hi Fran ; ; I am crying right now during lunch break as I watch your video, my cat has been sick and it has been really hard and this video has been cathartic knowing that someone understands such pain. I'm so deeply sorry for your loss ; ; may Cereal rest in peace and sending big big internet hugs
Thank you for sharing about Cereal. I had to put down two of my cats who I moved across the world with too and it's still painful to this day. You never stop missing them but it does get easier with time.
I'm sorry for your loss 💜Thank you for talking about it and contributing to the conversation about pet grief
Me encantó, gracias Fran por compartirte con nosotros ❤
Fran, thank you. This is soo good to listen your thoughts and experience.
really found what you said about performative grief at the end very interesting. it’s great that you’re allowing yourself the space and time to grieve cereal’s passing, the way you talk about her is so beautiful and sweet, it’s immediately apparent how much you love her ❤
Welcome back Fran 🌺 Thanks for whole
your work here and sharing your experience which is very useful for me, xxx
Oh Fran! I´m so glad you´re back! 🥰
Sending you lots of love 💖💖 You always do what feels right for your health and well-being 🙏🏻💖
Such a profound expression. I think many people nowadays feel the same way with social media, we have been trying to avoid seeing our life by keep searching the new stream of all addicted platforms.
most beautiful honest video i think ive ever seen. im trying to learn how to be more honest with myself and find healthier ways to spend my time. thank you fran. love you, God bless
Oh Fran, I am so sorry about your loss! Those last clips with Cereal made me cry...sending you love!
So happy you are back! ❤️
So sorry for your loss, Fran! I’m glad you are back sharing your life with us, at your own pace.
I love you, Fran! You are the best!
Glad to have you back!
you are lovely Fran, thank you for sharing this video!
my condolences ♥︎The deep love for pets is mirrored in the pain when you lose them. I adopted two adult cats earlier this year and I wanna make every day count with them. They're my babies. All the best to you!! X
Glad you are Back! 😀
I've missed you so much - I'm so glad you had a wonderful break and that you are happy to be back. I teared up as you were talking about Cereal but at the same time I am always in awe how carefully and eloquently you word things. It's beautiful. Thank you for sharing so much
Estoy bien feliz de que justo en este momento estés tomando estos temas porque son cosas de las cuales siento nunca debe dejarse de hablar y hoy mejor que antes entiendo el por qué. Ya he pasado un par de veces por el proceso de entender lo que las redes sociales me hacen, así como el proceso del duelo y la importancia de vivirlo correctamente, sin embargo había pasado tanto tiempo sin reafirmar está importancia que siento que las enterré de nuevo en mi consciencia y dejé de pensar en lo importante que es y el impacto que tienen en mi vida. Me da muchísima paz escucharte tener una experiencia similar a la mía, así como también escuchar que te ha sido útil para balancear ambos aspectos, que con eso entiendo que siempre es posible volver a practicar cosas que olvidaste, voluntariamente o no. Te quiero Fran 💜
What you describe as this social media emptiness and drain resonates so much with me, I've been feeling like that for some time and now I'm really inspired to take a month off
Omg!!! Missed your videos sooo much! ❤️ Glad U are back 😍
Loved your self-reflective talk about social media... so true, insightful and clever.
About the 'social media and fast fashion' part: I follow many many people on Instagram (good illustrator like Fran, for example), but still they put a lot recommended accounts and abs in my timeline and it's difficult to see what I really want to see. That makes me spend less time on instagram.
sending healing energy your way 💙 losing a pet is just this kind of pure heart breaking sadness thats difficult to describe. grief takes time and that time can be long and hard. im happy that youre leaning into your emotions and facing the discomfort of crying (which i also very much relate to)!! all our love, fran!
I'm so sorry to hear about Cereal. Been following you for a while now and it was hard to hear you are going through this since she was a huge part of the journey you've shared with us.
When my first dogs passed away, it was so hard for me to face my feelings cuz it was a time when a pet wasn't seen as family. The thing that helped me was this quote i read somewhere "If it was worth loving, it is worth grieving over", it stuck with me since then and it allow me to feel all the emotions I needed to feel cuz my dogs were worth loving so they deserve to be remember with the full spectrum of emotions available in the world, is hard to face your emotions, but for me, they were ones who deserve all my effort and energy so I let my self feel everything.
Big hug for you Fran and for anyone grieving someone they love 💕
Lamento mucho tu pérdida Fran. Y me alegra que hayas podido disfrutar nuevamente de tu curiosidad. ♥
Thank you for talking about this Fran and I'm so sorry for your loss of Cereal. I'm currently going through waves of grief myself because my cat was super sick and we had to let her go. Honestly, this video really helped me get through the painful process and look at it from a different perspective... losing your pet really sucks man! My heart goes out to anyone who's lost a loved one :(((
Me encantó tu descanso y la forma en que volviste, con el análisis de las redes sociales y el fast fashion. Esta semana regresé de vacaciones y vi tu video anterior, pensé que tomaría mucho más tiempo esperar tu regreso, pero apareciste con este video. Lamento mucho lo de Cereal. Un abrazo.
thank you for the video Fran 🥺
it was really soothing and wholesome, and i even made some sketches along the way ❤
I'm so sorry for your loss, no matter what loss is always devastating. I hate when people say that about pets, they don't understand, they're companions who always silently stay besides us, it hurts a lot to lose them. I also relate so much with what you said about pain and grief, and crying (which is something incredibly difficult for me to do), as I'm going through something right now.
ps. the haircut looks amazing!
Fran, me gustó mucho tu periodo fuera de redes sociales. Fue muy interesante y me hizo pensar cuántas horas estoy en ellas incluso al momento de hacer otra actividad al mismo tiempo (trabajar, conversar, etc.). Te mando un abrazo gigante 💕
I am late on commenting but sending you so much love and care! My cat is my entire heart and has kept me grounded through so many darks times. Hydrate and stay cozy! You are brilliant!
I'm so glad you're back. I always find what you say comforting. I'm sorry for your loss. When I saw that you lost cereal I started to feel sad as I too lost my cat 2 days before my bday on July 18, 2022. I never had a loss like this and I didn't feel alone having gone through that when I saw your post.
She lived to be 17 and was my first officially adopted cat. Every now & then I watch videos of her & cry but I know she's no longer in pain. Thank you for sharing your thoughts on grief 😔 I've never dealt with it before and it was so new to me but knowing that others can share a similar experience makes me feel understood in some way ❤❤❤
Loved the kind of commentary style for this video! It was super interesting to hear your experiences :)
I am happy you took your time away from social media. It can be absolutely draining and you as an artist online, bless your heart girl, its heckin work. I am also so sorry about your loss. Our fur babies are still our babies and when they move on, that absence is deeply felt. I send you hugs as you process
Sooooo happy you're back! 💚
This is my favorite video of yours, Fran. I relize how toxic I'm with social media now even thinking that I'm in control of the situacion. Thank you for sharing all this. Lots os hugs and a company to cry from 🇧🇷
Big hugs for you and Ed 🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗 I am deeply sorry for your loss my dearests and I understood very well the feelings, love you all and welcome back. Thank you so much for the insight of social media, and I totally agree with you. I will take your advice in to practice and have my own journey not to be on it too much even though majority of my work related in social media (my phone) love you Fren, send my regards to Ed and Hamburgesa (group hugs)
Hi Fran, we missed you here. I’m sorry about Cereal passing. I remember how painful that was with our cat. There are no bad reactions.
Side note, I think you have perfectly explained this feeling I have had about social media leaving feeling empty. The last few years I bought a film camera and started taking photos rather then use IG for poses and inspiration. I feel like I pick up my phone way less.
You are wonderful. Give yourself time to feel everything.
My heart goes out to you, I also lost my kitty last month and it is so bittersweet because so many good memories come flooding in but it can be very painful at the same time. I think losing a pet may be harder than a human in some ways because they become so engrained in your daily life. Trying to honor him by giving my extra affection to other kitties (he also loved to be around other cats) is one way that seems to help me cope. Proud of you for feeling all the feels, it's hard but I do think it helps in the long run. ❤
Que video tan lindo Fran, muchos abrazos para ti
i missed you fran! i love the new hair, i’m thinking of cutting mine the same way ☺️ i am so sorry to hear about cereal, sending you warm island hugs 🤍
I realized that discovering new musics/songs/artists/bands on streaming platforms helps me so much to get this « new shiny things » you talk about at the beginning of the vid! like it’s so nice to get addicted to new songs every days -and it’s free lol
This video was beautiful, Fran 💕 I’m so sorry about Cereal, but I’m so glad you have been able to grieve in a more private way at the same time. Lastly, I loved your chart about the uses of social media, you’re so right about having to find the balance between it being useful and it just being a dopamine distraction. Such great points. ❤
i'm so sorry for your loss ~ sending you all the love 💗 always put yourself first & take breaks when you need them ~ we'll always be here! xo elle
I'm so happy you're back 💖💖💖
Felicidades por este mes libre de RRSS. Llevo meses queriendo hacerlo y no me atrevo, es una gran adicción. Mucho amor para ti y cereal, estoy segura de que está en el cielo de los gatitos, que te cuida desde ese plano y que algún día serán roomates otra vez 🙏🏽🤍 Mi gata tiene 18 años, le voy a decir que le mande cariños psíquicos a cereal
I’m so sorry for your loss Fran ❤️
Tu vídeo es un abrazo a mi corazón, a un año de la perdida de mi perrito Matus, intento dibujar un retrato en su memoria sin manchar lo de lágrimas, te abrazo mucho Fran
Loving the new hair 😊 nice to have you back
So sorry for your loss, Fran. Big big hugs
Welcome back Fran 💕💖❤
Gracias por hablar de todos estos temas, Fran. Un abrazo grande y siento mucho la muerte de Cereal.
I've missed your videos, Fran, it's good to see you back. I love the hair!!
And I'm so sorry about Cereal. I've been there done that so many times, and I wouldn't trade a minute with each cat, and dog, that I've had to say goodbye to. 🐾🖤
Sending you so much love
I agree about the point in where having families where you don't deal with your own feelings and grief. It's really common and it stuck out to me this video. My condolences on Cereal, I hope you are able to both grieve and heal.
I'm sooooo sorry for the loss of sweet Cereal you were both lucky to have loved eachother sending you healing thoughts 💖
Que bueno que pudiste tomarte el mes fran ❤️ siempre seguiré tu trabajo. Te admiro de muchas formas y me encanta ver tu crecimiento. Cuando pasó lo de Cereal me dio mucha pena, yo también tengo gatos que amo con mi alma. Y uno comparte tanto con ellos. Me imagino lo difícil que debió ser despedirse. Al menos le dieron la mejor vida desde que la rescataron y la adoptaron al verla en la veterinaria. Muchos abrazos ❤️🫂
Hola Fran, que lindo es verte de vuelta, te mando muchos abrazos y mi mas sentido pesamo por la perdida de Cereal, era una gatita muy especial
que lindo ver a Hamburguesa haciendote compania en tu casita
muchos abrazos!
It's good to see you again. Sending you love
we missed u! obsessed with your hair x
I'm so sorry for your loss Fran. We are here for you ❤
You phrased it so well when it comes to grieving and crying. My deepest condolences about cereal. I have to cats since april and if anything happens to them i will be a wreck.
After my mom died in 2017, i couldn't grieve, because though my sisters and brothers are much older than me, it was put on my shoulders to plan the funeral (and even my dad did nothing) and comfort everyone of my family. when the funeral came, i cried a bit but that wasnt enough and after that i went to work again (i am a kindergarten teacher). due to not grieving properly and taking my time, i really dont know what happened 2018. that year went by without me noticing or living, i got panic attacks and my depression got worse.
what i am trying to say: if you grew up - like you mentioned - in an envionment where you are not allowed to cry or grieve and not taking the time you need, no matter what's the cause, it can get really bad. thanks for speaking so openly about loss and grieving.
I love your outfit Fran! Great to hear that you are going to therapy and that it has been helping you deal with grief. I hope to take the leap and get a therapist as well 😊
i am sorry for cereal. thank you for sharing all of what you’ve been going through 💙
I understand very much what you're saying about crying. Luckily we do have therapists who can help us understanding there is nothing wrong in crying.
And I do really like and find very interesting your comparison between social media and fast fashion.
Thanks for sharing with us.
perfect comeback ❤️
Thank you for sharing this.
I love you so much Fran.
I'm so sorry for the loss of your cat. It reminded me of when we had to do the same in 2019, it was absolutely heartbreaking. I am crying with you. But I am also happy to see you back 💕
I'm so sorry for your loss of your cat. I have had many during my life- they were all different and wonderful. I still remember sobbing with the Vet when we decided that my cat Mattie had, at 18, needed to be put down. I agree that the pain is very real.
I'm so sorry for the loss of Cereal, Fran! Thank you for sharing, it must be difficult while you're going through a moment of pain. I really appreciate your content, and i'm happy that the break you took was good for you!
So very sorry for the loss of your kitty love. ♥
This is so beautiful fran, I am at home quite immobile because of a broken ankle, I wanted to leave but when I accepted 1 it would be hard and 2 I was actually quite content Nat home and leaned into it this video and relaxing with it made a very contented Sunday for me
Hi Fran! I saw the tote bag your friend gave you and I thought it was hilarious, I would love to see it in your store someday, personalized in your style of course. Just thought it was a neat idea to share :)
I am so sorry for your lost. you can cry as much as you want. that is natural thing to do when you are sad and down or even happy right? and thank you so much for sharing your feeling and update to us. we should support you not put the pressure on you. love you. by the way, Love your hair !!!
You are talking about FOMO, fear of missing out, something that happened a lot when de spend a lot of time in social media. So good you understood it and fought it :)
welcome back 🎉
Fran, I send you a big big hug!! I’m so sorry for your loss. I lost my cat that was my companion for 15 years 2 weeks ago and one month ago I lost my dear sister. To grieve two losses has been as you said “soul crashing”… I didn’t want my family to see me crying because my cat as I didn’t want to make them sad because they were already so sad because my sis… but then I thought fuck it, it hurts so much I need to cry and I did … it’s liberating… to trap emotions is not the way… Descansa en paz, Cereal.
Love your hair! 💕
(THE HAIR! 😍) Dear Fran, thanks for sharing with us your experiences (both the social media pause and, more important, Cereal's passing), I missed your vibes and I'm happy to see you again.
I recently realized that social media is, among my hobbies, the most toxic one: slipping from inspiration to imposter syndrome and mindless scrolling is way too easy, so I am very careful choosing who to follow, what to look for, etc. About the crying thing...I used to joke about not being able to do it with the "moon in Aquarius" thing, but the reality is that I was one of the "good kids" (never crying, always comforting, never a problem, a very good co-dependent grown up), and crying made me feel wrong, useless and weak. I re-learned how to cry at 35. The problem was that the first times EVERYTHING made my cry (even funny things) and I was scared that my system crashed someway, then the things balanced (now I'm more into a "rage against everything" moment). Healing is not linear, but wow, the experience is a blast
Fran you look beautiful! I dig the hair. Good for you for getting away! Social media is the world’s number one fix these days. Definitely good to detox from.
I just found your site...it is devastating to lose a precious pet. I recently lost my bulldog Suzy Lou and it so broke my heart. I have since adopted a rescue dog (Bella)I still miss my Suzy Lou. Grief is so very real and it is the price of love that we sadly pay...In honor of her I have understood better how precious our fur babies are to us. Sending you lots of love!
I cried while you were talking about Cereal. I know what is like to lose a pet. I’ve lost two: one passed away years ago and the other one is through separation. I know she’s alive and well but I miss her by my side so much sometimes it aches my heart. She is my special little girl and I truly felt a connection with her. I love her so much. I’ve cried rivers for both of them. I’m glad you are allowing yourself to feel the pain . It sucks but it sets you free.
My condolences for your cat ❤️🕊 I absolutely love your videos and you’re an amazing person
I had also lost a twelve year old cat, last year. She had pacreatitis. It was for sure one of the worst experiences I had last year. And watching your video, kind of made me wanting to cry together while you were sharing your side. I mean, I adopted another cat. I thought that i wouldn't, but I did it. It helped me a bit with how to deal with that moment. But, when memories, especially the good ones, appear inside my head, it's hard not to get emotional. I am sending you lots of happy thoughts and a big hug from South America. 🤗🌻
This was a beautiful video. Thank you.
We also lost our cat this August. Thank you for speaking about all of this. ❤