I Have A Small What!? | Bill Engvall
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- Опубликовано: 26 сен 2024
- Bill learns that he has an odd medical condition that may or may not be hereditary. He's definitely in pain and possibly even crying but so are we...because of how funny this story is!
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About Bill Engvall
Comedian Bill Engvall was part of the enormously successful Blue Collar Comedy Tour and has starred in a number of films, TV shows and sitcoms, including Blue Collar TV, Comedy Central, A Pair of Jokers, Evening at the Improv , The Jeff Foxworthy Show, The Tonight Show and the Late Show with David Letterman. Some of Engvall's specials and albums include:
- Just Sell Him For Parts (2016)
- Them Idiots Whirled Tour (2012)
- Aged and Confused (2009)
- 15° Off Cool (2007)
- Dorkfish (1998)
- Here’s Your Sign (1996)
Engvall's work has earned his numerous awards, including American Comedy Award for “Best Male Stand-up Comedian," #1 position on the Billboard Comedy Chart for Here's Your Sign, “Best Selling Comedy album," and a Grammy Award nomination for Blue Collar Comedy Tour: One For The Road.
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You are killing me Bill. I'm laying here next to my sleeping hubby and I'm trying to laugh into a pillow without suffocating!!
Funny. True
Stifling it somehow makes everything so much funnier!
“Bill, I have NEVER had this happen in my medical career...”
“Oh, please don’t tell me you lost your wedding ring up there” 🤣
Better the wedding ring than the cellular phone.
“Bill, I have NEVER had this happen in my medical career...”
. . . . ."There are FIVE things you never want to hear, as a man!"
@@nickdejager8873 Love it!
Everything he said is spot on. Kidney Stones are torture. I'd rather be waterboarded instead of another kidney stone.
agreed.
I’d rather be sentenced to a Turkish prison than have another kidney stone!
Yes sir I just had mine had four of them they had to bust up had the same procedure as bill had
"Not to be to graphic, i have a thread hangin out of my weener!"
Prettu graphic but i died laughing 😂
I prefer the term Pee Pee... But that's just me.
Well now he knows what its like to have a tampon in. Lol
Omg I was laughing so hard I saw tears!!!
Welcome to life with a tampon LOL 😂 🤣
It hurts me just listening
Bill Engvall is comedic genius. An entire comedy show and not a single cuss word.
Well, great comedians do not need faul language. For example you have another of my favorite comedians: SINBAD.ruclips.net/video/5pLzfYVrboM/видео.html
He hasnt had a cuss word in any of his stand-up even 20 years ago he didn't cuss
@@kwayne8205 he doesn't need to use faul language. His stories are so real that everyone can relate to them and laugh. I was in rehab after my brain tumor was removed so I can relate to was he was telling about rehab centers and hospitals. Which at least in Los Angeles they treat you great with great service and even vegetarian food (I have been vegetarian since 1994).
Google's mishandling of the closed captions changes that; but, that's not Bill's fault.
I guess you missed the Dont judge others part of bible..
Hilarious!..... without cussing....true talent!
I don't about y'all, but I am ready for another BLUE COLLAR TOUR!!! I LOVE THESE GUYS...Bill Engvall can do 3hrs without a single cuss word and be just as funny as an Eddie Murphy
Me too. Way overdue. He's hilarious!
Exactly 😎
Seen them all live, except for Jeff.
That's because he is a true comedian.....Think back to the 60's, 70's or even 50's. People didn't need to be foul and were the funniest...
Mike Quackenbush the only one I didn’t see was Larry
He'd make a great Hank Hill. Already got the narrow urethra.
Only a man with a narrow urete would say that
Yeass!
Don't insult Mr. Engvall like that.
But he has two kids
Mr. RADICAL exactly my first thought, too.
I didn't know it was possible to cringe so hard and laugh at the same time!!
Perfectly said!
well honey im doin' that right now!
I have laughed so hard at his jokes. The best comedian I have ever listened to
There's something about a 58 year old man saying "wiener" that just made me lose it and laugh so hard I cried 😂
I am a urology nurse practitioner. I tell every one of my patients to come here and watch this video and the stent pull video after we pull their stent in the office…almost like required watching!
Seriously? You mean he wasn't just kidding about that?
No you're not 😂👎
He knows how to tell a funny story..even without explaining everything!
I’m almost speechless to say beyond hilarious and I feel, no pun intended for you. My father is a marine at 84 and would just say if you had to deal with it and he never finished a statement. I left his house almost crying
“I don’t even sew!” DEAD. LOL
How I miss the Blue Collar Comedy Tour!! I was lucky enough to catch a show in Knoxville, Tennessee years ago, and it was absolutely awesome!! These guys are all great and Bill’s timing is genius!!!
Bill becomes more and more like Hank Hill everyday.
I've had kidney stones and they hurt like hell. My Dr. even told me he's had pregnant women say that giving birth wasn't as painful.
“Well, Bill, you have a small urethra.”
*Hank Hill has entered the chat*
C-3-H-8 WHO DO WE APRECIATE?
PROPANE PROPANE PROOOOOOPANE
"When you are down on the farm, and you want to stay warm, Propane"!
He will always be my favorite comedian
Just saw his Retirement Tour show at Talking Stick Resort in Scottsdale Arizona Sunday night. May God bless him. He is an amazingly funny man!!
1:15 my son who is 11 now had a mole on his forehead removed when he was 18 months old. He was so sedated that he started to tell all the nurses "I love you". The nurses were almost in tears to see this cute kid telling them "I love you".
When I had my teeth pulled at 16-17. I was on the loopy drugs and I told everyone I loved them. I told one nurse she deserved better. And I begged my mom for a chocolate milkshake.
“I have a thread....hangin’ outta my wiener!” OMG!! I have never laughed so hard!!
The image of him attempting to pee with the thread hanging out is just too much 😂😂 his wife definitely had a mess to clean up!
Ditto
2:51 “He said "you'll be sedated" and I said "yes! I will!"” 😂
4:35 “it's like going to a restaurant and going "yeah I'll have the steak and lobster" And they go "Welp there's the kitchen 👉🏻, go cook it"” 🤣
I'm sitting here crying from laughing so hard! He's so damn funny!
He is,along with Ron White...
When he said there are four things in life I was laughing so hard I was crying.👍😁😎
It’s all so true and also funny what an incredible comedian absolutely love him him and the blue color comedy club need to get back together and get on the road!🤣🤣🤣🤩
Hi Bill,
I just want to say thank you for putting this on RUclips. My dad has recently gone through the same pain and this helped him out and gave him a good laugh.
I was wondering whether you could put the whole video up, including the part about your wife helping you remove the stent. I’d love to show that to dad.
Take care and hope to see you in Australia some time 😊👍🏻
We all ❤️ you Bill! I need a knee replacement myself and I am trying to put it off as long as possible! I’m sorry to hear about all that happened to you, but I’m so glad you are feeling better and that you can make jokes about us and make us all 😂! You are such a gem! God Bless You!
Bill, I’ve had two kidney stones and a baby all natural, and I rather be in labor!!!
You and me both.
Yep! I had a kidney stone, and I’ve been thru 43 hours of back labor. I’d take the labor again over the kidney stone.
Most women I know what have had both say the same thing. I wouldn't wish my first kidney stone on my worst enemy.
Yeah. Women would definitely prefer labor to kidney stones.
Rachel Mathes, agreed sister!
I’ve been a nurse for 41 years and I’m telling you I’m not pulling my own stint out.
Bill, MORE please. Thank you, Sir!
A lot of comments from women on here that pretty much say the same thing: "I've had a kidney stone and I've given birth...I'd rather go through 5 more childbirths than go through another kidney stone."
Um,I've had 5 kids and kidney stones . I'd rather have the stones, lol...
Susan you sound like the kinda mother that even her own children wish the same thing as you. They would rather be your kidney stones than call you mom
Exactly!! I’ve had both, and delivering a child was much easier than passing my stone!!
Kidney stones I've had too, how I beat them is through apple cider vinegar and water, and I refused to take any pain meds or a needle cause my friend told me when he took the needle it affected his sex life. I said screw that!!
That's mostly because this thing called adrenaline exists. It does make a difference.
I just went through the entire kidney stone ordeal myself. Bill is extremely accurate about it. The worst pain I have ever endured was when the stent was removed.
They don't give you anything for that? What's the point of all these pain drugs when they won't let you use them! LOL
@@mattm7798 I'm a woman and well know about that string. 😂. I waited until they blasted the stone and didn't have to remove it. At first, the doc said I could pull it out. Hell no.
My mother said she would take childbirth over a kidney stone any day! Then again she had a high pain tolerance and labor didn't bother her much. lol.
my wife said the same thing. Our first child ripped her to where the asshole and vagina was basically one giant gash, and this was 20 years ago. She had a kidney stone about 3 years ago and her exact words to this day are "I will fight any of these dumb bitches that thing childbirth is the most painful thing a woman can go through"
My mema had told my daddy she rather have a BBY go through labor than to have a kidney stone. I've a multi gall stones at one time. So many till after they took my gall bladder out I had to be transferred to get the rest. I never wished that on no one....
Anna Cribbs, I’ve had gallstones (gallbladder ultimately removed), kidney stones, & child birth. The kidney stones were the worst.
Lmmfao!!! "I don't even sew!" 😂😂😂😂
If I was the Doctor, I would've replied: "Well now's your chance to learn". 😊
ROFL Bill, you are a master at making real life hilarious!!!
Hi dear 👋
They have to do the rest of the I have A Small What??? story Part 2. I know what happens and it's pretty damn funny!!! 🤣🤣🤣
Been a while since I heard it, but yes, we need part 2!
Does he use the term Pee Pee? I just love that word! 😊
Pleaseeee!!!!!!
All I have to say is poor Gail lmao!!!! 😁🤣
@@oldiesgeek454 Nope he said weener
I'm crying laughing and having a slight panic attack all at the same time thinking about this procedure.
I can relate.....When the Urologist pulled my stent, I thought he somehow was pulling my spinal cord out of my pee pee...
And you are awake when they pull it out LOL!!!! My cousin has had one, my Dad had to have them every 6 weeks (bad prostate surgery, he had colon cancer....they think that had something to do with it) and then Dad had a “pee bag” as he called it. And we could SEE the stones!!!!!!! Personally, I just pass them. They figure I have them like Dad. LOL well, I know what they look like!!!!! I feel bad for guys!!!! I had a child almost 10lbs, 26”, shoulders wider then his head, NO epidural-I can handle little stones 😉 at least that’s the joke in the family LOL but I feel really bad for guys!!!!!
@@jillanderson2596 Men and women have the same size urethras. Kidney stones come out of urethras, children come out of vaginas.
duenge was it painful? because when he said he had to pull it out, I Damn near fainted, and felt so much pain I’m not even kidding!!
In my best Hank Hill, “Bobby, that’s called a narra urethra, not small urethra”.
This is the funniest story Bill Engvall has ever told hands down!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
I loved the one where the doc gave him medical marijuana too....Hysterical...
@@bettycogswell9851 yeah!! That was hilarious too!!
I rather kinda liked his two part Marijuana story bit better but you have to see them both for 14 minutes of Awesome.
@@DivergentDroid That's for sure! 😂
You're the best out there. I hope you'll be entertaining us for many years to come.
bill engvall one of the best
And all the doctors ever say is “you might experience slight discomfort”.
Yeah right!been there when they say that you know all Hell's gonna break loose! I've had 49 kidney stones! Bill
HAH! Any time a doctor says that you’re going to be experiencing “discomfort,” you can count on whatever it is you’re going to be feeling to be the equivalent of passing 50 pounds of rusty fish hooks using an enema made from battery acid and ghost chili hot sauce!
Bill is like a fine wine, gets better with age!
Oh my god no never want a kidney stone. I'm so sorry you went through this
I had Gallstones about 10 years ago. They're no day at the park either.
If the toilet bowl resonates pings when you pee....you might have kidney stones. Learnt that the hard way.
@Andy Helms Damn right Andy....flavoured colored mineral water sent me to ER.
@Andy Helms Prob my fault too, I was a gym jock and perhaps overdid the protein thingy...The worst part Andy....every heartbeat = extreme kidney pain and akin to the Hulk squeezing your balls.....It just doesn't let up without meds.
You what at least after child birth you get a baby. After passing a kidney stone all you get is your Dr telling you the worst night mare ever ... Now sence you had kidney stones you can get them again. What the hell Dr !!
Bless your heart, Bill; know exactly what you mean. Had the same experience you had. Small urethra and 8mm kidney stone, but my doc took the stent out. That wasn't fun either.
No kidding! Bill
I was asleep when they put the stent in. Not when they pulled out. Jesus christ.
Lol omg I'm dying here.. you are hilarious
That hurts just thinking about it.
“I don’t even sew” ahahahah
Being paralyzed, I have to see the urologist every year and I was able to laugh even harder.No pun intended. Bill is hysterical!
I go to a urologist every year for 17 yrs to have stents changed. I was awake once. Underline, exclamation point!!! You give me darn good drugs and wake me when it's done. Thanks, I laughed my whatchamacallits off!
Love Bill he's my favorite
I empathize with Bill so much, I’ve had those issues several times..
Can’t wait to see him February 8th In Charles Town, WV. Got my tickets 🎫
Omg... been there, done that, etc. Something I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy.
Omfg... "Don't tell me you lost your wedding ring up there"
I laughed so hard I woke everyone up in my building. Bahahahaha!
Tears!
He's not kidding about the dilaudid; about 4 years ago I was in the ER with a case of shingles and the pain was unlike anything I'd experienced. The doctor put the needle in the IV, injected the meds, and by the time she pulled the needle out, I was STONED. 🤪
So funny that I had tears running down my legs.
this happenned to me when i was 17... 30 years ago...no one has ever talked about these things.. not in my whole life...thanks so much... my story is about 10x times worse...maybe 10x times funnier if you were telling it...bless you..a 1000 nurses and doctors would come in my room in the middle of the night to show the others.. i was in a rodeo horse accident and could hardly move...i just pulled the sheets over my head and cried...thanks so much for taking the pains away from others
ive had kidney stones too..that was even worse pain..than the rodeo accident
Hope Riley you are SOOOOOO right!!🤣🤣🤣
This sounds EXACTLY like what happened to me..several days in hospital until urethra stopped bleeding They did not use a laser, they put me out, into a water bath and sound waves to crush the stone.
When I had kidney stones, it was the worst pain. It was a pain that was both curious and exquisite, because how could something so small cause that much pain? The stone itself was 5mm. It felt like someone stabbed me with a knife and dragged it down my left flank. When it finally passed (after 6 weeks of agony), I felt bliss.
Maybe the nurse was talking worse case scenario pain childbirth. Women who have experienced both kidney stones and childbirth say passing a stone is worse than childbirth. After all, the body is not designed to pass kidney stones, but it is made to birth a baby.
Mark Griffin .............the body passes or expels anything that it perceives as dangerous or useless. I had a kidney stone that was minuscule but the pain was worse than child birth.
The Nurses mean the intensity of the pain is similar to contraction pain. Both involve smooth muscles in addition to the internal organs contracting. But when a man is laying there yelling he doesn't want the details of anatomy! Kidney stones hurt sooo much because all your back and abdominal muscles join in the spamming contractions of your ureter trying to pass "a basketball through a straw". All that contacting makes it harder to pass it. I have birthed 7 stones in my life, and in w023 I know three are laying quietly in my kidney waiting to attack! I've also been a Nurse for over 40yrs, and thought initially people were overracting to stones, till I had my first one!
This was Bill’s best special ever
The comedians out of Texas are ALWAY hilarious! - Bless your .. heart )LOL(
Oh yeah, Texas got some funny Sumbitches I'll tell ya! 😊
By far the funniest thing I’ve ever heard
"I DONT EVEN SEW!"
🤣🤣🤣
So Bill Engvall is essentially Hank Hill.
Trust me when I say some circumstances cause that list to grow quickly!
One of my favorite moments was seeing Bill, Jeff, and Larry together. There was another guy, but forgot who it was. It was the guy that replaced Ron.
I always had a feelin Bill and Hank Hill were related
Amazing comedian!!
If you only would have had a fish hook! Oh, the money you'd save on... that other rod!
My daddy was tough as old boot leather. He suffered with kidney stones for years. He would lie on the floor bite on a handkerchief and writhe in pain until it passed. It wasn't until i was on nursing school that i realized people went to the hospital for kidney stones🤯
I will never eat while I'm watching u again I was laughing so hard I started choking on my toast I thought I was gonna see the light. U r sooo funny it feels so good to laugh
I have felt the agonizing pain of a raging infection from gall bladder stones, one that almost killed me. I never cry and the pain of it brought me to tears. I don’t even want to imagine what a kidney stone or giving birth feels like.
He is sooooo funny. Love him.
Keep em coming bill! Much love from Houston, TX man.
Having just had a Kidney Stone and Stent, I needed this.
I love him and his demeanor. I miss his tv show.
Just brilliant 👏
My friend Michael had his knee replaced and then he has kidney stones and he had to have a hernia operation and now hes in amazing shape bc he worked hard to get better ..
3:08
Missed opportunity Bill:
"There's 5 things in life a man never wants to hear." 😂
I had this very same conversation with my urologist. Talk about déjà vu. Lmfao 🤣
Bill is great. He’s funny, and he’s CLEAN. I didn’t hear a cuss word every other word, did you? I didn’t hear any. Good, clean comedy.
What no swearing? Yep, Bill Engvall has become my favourite comedian.
I’ve had 2 kids and I’d rather have 10 labors with no meds than to have one more kidney stone!!! I’ve had only one of those and that was the WORST PAIN OF MY LIFE. I was begging the nurse to either give me pain meds or kill me. I didn’t care which one, just please stop the pain. I was literally begging between screams and vomit! It was horrible. They gave me fentanyl; didn’t work. They gave me morphine; didn’t work but it did bottom out my BP. They gave me dilaudid and that FINALLY ended my pain. Let me just add I have a very low tolerance to meds and I never take pain pills so I have no idea why the first 2 drugs didn’t work but man, that dilaudid was heaven sent. 😮💨 I don’t know how a 3mm stone felt like passing a boulder covered in barbed wire but I pray I never have it again. It literally felt like someone was stabbing me with a red hot knife in my lower back. I wouldn’t wish that pain on my worst enemy.
My husband had that done too and he said that he would never want to do that again and when they took it out he said he saw stars ⭐️
Having been hospitalized for almost a week for a “stuck" kidney stone (finally needing it surgically removed), one of my dearest friends sent me here to watch this video. Oh boy. Lol… too funny!
I’m goin through one right now! Not only did I get a kidney stone, my right kidney became infected and they had to put a stent in to drain the infection out.
How can *anyone* vote this down? Bill Engvall is amazing! I remember him on Stand Up Spotlight and A Couple of Jokers. When he performed in Blue Collar, I had to look down and make myself breathe!!
Hank hill, every body😂
Have had several. He's not kidding. The pain is real. So far all of mine have passed on their own, tho I did go to the hospital the pain was so bad on the last one. Yeah, that pain killer was lovely. Haven't felt that good in a long time. And, yes, that stone passed too.
He was great in "Wish for Christmas".
I had that tube....he is so correct!!
Oh how many Hank Hill jokes can we make lol
Bill, you still got it. In fact, you're better now an I didn't think you could get more funky. Hv a blessed week🌷😂
Ive been to the ER twice over them and both times I thought of this to make me feel a little better
You don’t need to sew Bill, it’s a fuse…😂