"Always Ask This When Dating..." - How To AVOID Time Wasters, Manipulators & Liars To Find REAL LOVE

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  • Опубликовано: 28 июл 2024
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    PRE-ORDER Stephanie's new book here: stephanieikeokafor.com/books
    It’s Lisa Bilyeu and on this episode of Women of Impact I've got the amazing Stephanie Okafor with me, and oh boy, are we diving deep and getting real! This episode is all about shaking up what you think you know about submission in relationships. It's not what you think-it’s about strength, respect, and being a total badass in your partnership.
    Stephanie gets raw and personal, sharing her journey and some seriously eye-opening biblical insights on what it really means to be vulnerable and respectful in love. We hash out why trust and transparency are crucial, how to tackle past traumas head-on, and the magic of truly understanding each other's love languages.
    TOPICS & CHAPTER MARKERS
    👩‍❤️‍👨 [00:00] Intention in relationships shapes expectations and dynamics.
    🗣️ [05:48] Defensive response to feeling overlooked and undervalued.
    ❤️ [11:32] Understanding and trusting each other's leadership.
    🏆 [17:53] Respect boundaries, avoid infidelity, nurture healthy relationships.
    🗣️ [21:22] Healthy conversations vital for understanding beyond social media.
    🏆 [31:35] Balancing work, home, and personal dreams.
    👩‍❤️‍👨 [33:13] Supporting men's struggle with career and identity.
    ❤️ [39:41] Prioritize love for self and others.
    ❌ [42:45] Hiding secrets, open up for healing.
    🏆 [48:00] Realizing childhood trauma affects desire for children.
    👩‍❤️‍👨 [53:42] Understanding behavior enables honest communication in relationships.
    🗣️ [01:03:31] Trust and communication are crucial in marriage.
    ❤️ [01:09:22] Christian perspective on women's role in marriage.
    🏆 [01:14:12] Learning healthy marriage for women is crucial.
    👩‍❤️‍👨 [01:18:12] Behavior reflects beliefs; address unhealthy marriage issues.
    ❤️ [01:22:48] Mother's advice on independence and love impact.
    🏆 [01:27:44] Women have the right to desire what they want, and should take care of themselves.
    👩‍❤️‍👨 [01:35:21] Planning to stay together, aging makes spouse attractive.
    🏆 [01:41:06] Embrace change and growth in relationships.
    👩‍❤️‍👨 [01:44:39] Understanding each other like a fire analogy.
    🏆 [01:49:42] Pregnant woman suffers, finds relief in dream.
    ❤️ [01:53:08] Learn manipulative tactics or become empowered, choose now.
    If you're ready for some juicy deets on making your relationships stronger and finding your inner queen, then buckle up and join us for this candid and empowering chat with the one and only Stephanie Okafor. You won't want to miss it!
    STEPHANIE’S QUOTEWORTHY TRUTH BOMBS:
    **The Reality of Modern Relationships**: "But if you're only hype on emotions and you don't really get to know the soul of a person, how they think, how they feel, how they live their decision making, their habits, the way they see life, when you start to do life with them and you, and the real comes in and you don't know what to do, you can't handle it, and it's like, oh, let me go to the next one."
    Qualities of a Good Man: "For me, as a Christian, you know, when I see my husband, the way he follows Jesus is how he got my heart, you know, because I'm like, oh, I trust Jesus. And you're a good student of him."
    *Trust in Relationships: "What happens when we don’t see eye to eye? Someone has to say, okay, I'm going to trust your leadership. I'm going to trust your decision in this."*
    The Importance of Boundaries in Relationships: "A lot of times, infidelity is the fruit of lack of boundaries. And so boundaries, what I encourage people to do, I'm like, you don't put boundaries because you don't trust yourself. You put boundaries to make sure that there's a lesser version of you that shows up sometimes."
    "Support and Sensitivity in Relationships": "And so to do something that is beneath their resume feels like a failure as a man. But it's for them to be reminded, for you to be a provider in the home is success as a husband at whatever capacity, and still showing that, hey, I believe in you. I believe in your dreams. I believe in your goals. I'm going to support you with it and we're going to figure this out."
    Follow Stephanie Okafor:
    Website: stephanieikeokafor.com/
    Instagram: stephanieik...
    Follow Me, Lisa Bilyeu:
    Website: www.radicalconfidence.com/
    Instagram: / lisabilyeu
    Facebook: / lisabilyeu
    X: / lisabilyeu
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Комментарии • 378

  • @LisaBilyeu
    @LisaBilyeu  19 дней назад +61

    WARNING: I will never ask for your contact info in the comments section, that is someone impersonating me!

    • @Phoenix369.
      @Phoenix369. 19 дней назад +7

      Thank you Lisa for bringing light and awareness to the world
      We are so proud of you from Tunisia 🇹🇳 💋

    • @misspea1913
      @misspea1913 18 дней назад +2

      Very insightful conversation. Thank you Lisa!

    • @amyholcomb6484
      @amyholcomb6484 17 дней назад

      @@misspea1913 No, it’s a very heteronormative episode that is based in religious dogma and ideology from the 1950s. Relationships are partnerships in which each has their strengths and value.

    • @misspea1913
      @misspea1913 16 дней назад +1

      @@amyholcomb6484 Your comment will not change the fact that the conversation was quite insightful to ME. I am also non religious, also you don't know anything about me nor my life so take your opinion and shove it where the sun don't shine. Thanks

    • @amyholcomb6484
      @amyholcomb6484 15 дней назад

      @@misspea1913 How graceful of you. You are on a public forum and I am entitled to an opinion and to disagree. Hugs

  • @visionyouniversity
    @visionyouniversity 18 дней назад +90

    I LOVE Stephanie! She’s an amazing woman of GOD! Her way of teaching is very practical and authentic! I’m so happy more woman are being exposed to her through your platform!❤

    • @JesuisLord
      @JesuisLord 18 дней назад +2

      Your comment about her being a woman of God kept me listening , thank you 🙏🙂

    • @WilliamsPinch
      @WilliamsPinch 14 дней назад

      Yes and yes!

  • @bmbarnum
    @bmbarnum 19 дней назад +102

    The "bait and switch" in some dating situations feels like gaslighting. You need time to get to really get to know someone (not be head over heels with endorphins, getting your judgement clouded by S3x as the be all, end all). The Bait and Switch is when someone presents themself as exactly who you want in the beginning of dating (like Kind, Caring, Considerate), so you become smitten, agree to start seeing them - then they stop being those things, NO LONGER Kind, Caring and Considerate (they become passive aggressive, talk down to you like you are stupid or beneath them, insult the things that bring you joy, put down your career aspirations and life dreams as stupid or a waste of time, etc) You feel unloved, you wonder why they went out of their way to woo you, when clearly they have NO RESPECT for you. They may be jealous of you, deep down fearing you are better than they are and have to take you down a notch to feel superior. This is NOT the person you became smitten for! They LIED about who they are!!! This is why you have to PLATONICALLY (non s3xual) hang out with someone, get to know them - maybe they will take down their guard and show this dark stuff someday so you can say no to dating - not jump into bed then feel extremely confused.

    • @baileyb8619
      @baileyb8619 19 дней назад +16

      Beautifully said. That is narcissism by the way. It is sickeningly rampant. These men today by and large are misguided, deluded and have baggage they never repaired.

    • @preacherbarbie
      @preacherbarbie 18 дней назад +1

      So true!!!

    • @destinyschild5768
      @destinyschild5768 18 дней назад +4

      So true! Learned my lesson

    • @adrij1640
      @adrij1640 17 дней назад +3

      Wow. Exactly what I recently experienced and learned the very hard way. I was 18 months a widow, very vulnerable and lonely in a way I never experienced before when a guy like this came along. A lot of damage done in 4 months. No regrets, though. I learned a lot and it showed me where I needed healing. I'm on such a wonderful transformational growth/healing journey now. He's been gone for 4 months and I have no desire to date or be involved with anyone anytime soon. After the trauma of suddenly losing my husband of nearly 12 years and the grief that followed, I had no idea what was up from down. This toxic guy gave me direction and put me on an amazing path of self love and discovery. I'm doing mirror work, shadow work, reparenting my inner child and seeing a trauma specialist.

    • @alenaadamkova7617
      @alenaadamkova7617 17 дней назад

      Intruduce them to your parents. Such people usually dont disrespect others,m if they are grenuine to your family.

  • @ncm9366
    @ncm9366 14 дней назад +20

    My grandmother used to tell me to “play” the damsel in distress sometimes, it’s ok to feel and be vulnerable… Also “ soft check” over time, his lineage, background, credit (money habits) NOW HIS MEDICAL BACKGROUND….. This is good! Watch a man’s love language! That’s good….. yes a lot of women CONFUSE SEX WITH LOVE… becareful yall listen to his words and how he moves!

    • @curiousmind6472
      @curiousmind6472 12 дней назад

      Love your grandmother! Everyone needs one just like her ♥️🪽

  • @sch2217
    @sch2217 19 дней назад +148

    Issue is some ppl lie about who they are. I dealt with that myself. I asked all the questions and unfortunately, he lied about everything just to get me to be in a relationship with him.

    • @theAdministratoSA
      @theAdministratoSA 18 дней назад +9

      Same boat!

    • @marag1563
      @marag1563 18 дней назад +9

      @@theAdministratoSAsame boat lie to get me lie then lose me

    • @mcleo9935
      @mcleo9935 18 дней назад

      @sch2217,I have had a LDR just ended 3 months ,and I realize the lies ,abd pretending what he was not,too many Red flags I saw in the 2 month but I stupidly and innocently continued, but it's over now I learn and in a better head space and peace more now at the moment, I prayed to God to reveal this man ,in the Spiritual realm God did ,am happy and am now in a better head space and at peace, he was a real Narcisisis,he dry lied to me ,anyways thank God I have moved on and am happy ,it was a very stressful 3 months for me ,I wish him the best because obviously in his eyes I was not the one

    • @forgiven5919
      @forgiven5919 18 дней назад +18

      Get to know them a long time, true colors come out.

    • @ladyofspa
      @ladyofspa 18 дней назад +15

      He's gotta prove it. Based on what is that true?... Always verify answers.Look to his history, build a case for or against. I realized after the answers are there gotta go deeper.

  • @deloresgrey2260
    @deloresgrey2260 12 дней назад +16

    "NO ONE RISES...ABOVE THEIR THOUGHT LIFE."
    I STAND IN FULL AGREEMENT...💯💯💯!!!

  • @Helenalaurino
    @Helenalaurino 16 дней назад +23

    Tim and I operated so beautifully together. It was like we were together in a past life. It was truly a spiritual connection from the moment we laid eyes on each other. No secrets, No lies just pure love, kindness, trust, understanding and respect. I miss you Tim 3/4/23. Thank you so much for this video.

    • @daschuhow
      @daschuhow 8 дней назад +2

      I’m sorry for your loss 3:32

    • @Jennifer-gr7hn
      @Jennifer-gr7hn 12 часов назад

      I'm so sorry. I can't imagine because I've been so chronically traumatized that I picked males who were not like this, so wow. God bless. And I'm so, so sry you lost your love. I can't ...even.imagine. So many people died (the shot, but maybe that wasn't the reason here and it doesn't matter....they are gone, but it's so sad when it's a preventable)...you're not alone but I can imagine why it feels that way. I will pray you find if God wills, another like this dating is crippling now because of anti-social media and the sloth overall ( Tough times.

  • @crackerjacks6789
    @crackerjacks6789 7 дней назад +9

    This young woman is simply beautiful her eyes, teeth, smile, make up is simple clean, soft and feminine and refreshing to look at .. she is speaking about the headship arrangements in the Bible the problem is people have stopped reading the scriptures and deciding what is best for themselves with out the wisdom from our creator.. who has clearly given us the tools we need to have a successful relationship while they are marrie

    • @Peaea
      @Peaea 22 часа назад

      The irony is the SHE is a pastor😅

  • @sheilamusker-lovett4472
    @sheilamusker-lovett4472 15 дней назад +18

    She is really brilliant. I’m getting so much out of this. She’s talking about things I never thought about never read about or never was apparent to me.

  • @Platinumcoons
    @Platinumcoons 19 дней назад +37

    Leadership also mean responsibility

    • @Jennifer-gr7hn
      @Jennifer-gr7hn 12 часов назад

      that's why so few want it....which is a little covert narc-ish because it's selfish

  • @angelat1839
    @angelat1839 18 дней назад +12

    I love the guests you choose to have on this show. Many times I identify with an important thing they say. When she spoke about not being able to be vulnerable because of her need to take care of herself- this really spoke to my experience in life. I have seen this in myself, my struggle to accept love because of my fear that I must be the one to take care of me. It wasn’t until I was almost 30 years old that I realized this was something that was blocking love from fully being expressed in my life.

  • @WilliamsPinch
    @WilliamsPinch 14 дней назад +15

    Stephanie is so anointed. Thank you Lisa for having her✨

  • @crystalHfff
    @crystalHfff 14 дней назад +14

    I love listening to Stephanie Ike. ❤so much wisdom. Thank you, Lord, for this wisdom you have given her. 🙏

  • @user-vl7sp4pd9s
    @user-vl7sp4pd9s 12 дней назад +8

    Exactly! I called off my engagement 2 years ago. My ex did not take the lead. and I hated a man didn't know what to do in a serious relationship. He missed a lot from his father growing up. He had a father in his life and his mother. He was selfish and future faked our long-term relationship. Great video!💯🙏

    • @daschuhow
      @daschuhow 8 дней назад +1

      Good for you, you avoided a disaster not only for you, but your children too.

  • @igitha..._
    @igitha..._ 19 дней назад +22

    "There is strength in vulnerability"

  • @markesabowers1567
    @markesabowers1567 18 дней назад +9

    Amen am a witness however I used to self sabotage,beating myself self up until I had a awakening! Nolonger am I a prisoner of my past but a prisoner of hope ..I officially devorced my past embracing my future of his good plan because am committed to creating new memories an sharing that no matter how many failures, mistakes doesn't mean you are a failure!! The devil is liar!! 💜🙏

  • @MaryWallace-wv2bn
    @MaryWallace-wv2bn 19 дней назад +61

    Not all men are protectors or leaders obviously

    • @eebz5
      @eebz5 19 дней назад +12

      Then they shouldn't be husbands

    • @Sunlightsam24
      @Sunlightsam24 18 дней назад +5

      Not all women are compassionate, caring and/or flexible

    • @mbrilliB
      @mbrilliB 10 дней назад +4

      ​@@Sunlightsam24if the men are supposed to be the leader then they should show first a good example before pointing figures at women

    • @tourandrelocationcommunity
      @tourandrelocationcommunity 2 дня назад

      👏

    • @Jennifer-gr7hn
      @Jennifer-gr7hn 12 часов назад

      right, because of their trauma. And women like me, used to date the ones who appeared to be, but were controlling abuseres....like I was used to, so it made me....traumatized too. Everyone needs to work on themselves! Many "women" today are the "protectors and leaders" which is a hot mess as "men" became males with out testicles. It's upside down! Thanks to the sexual "revolution" too

  • @cindyglass5827
    @cindyglass5827 19 дней назад +39

    Lisa ~
    Sadly, my husband had the exact same experience about ''opening doors'' ...
    He 'used to' hold the door open for women at the Post office. [this was done for women of ALL ages btw]
    1 women [in her 40's] literally said '' I'm not interested in you & rolled her eyes'' & didn't say thank-you the 2nd women [in her 30's] said trust me - I'm strong enough to open my own door, stared at him & also didn't say Thank-you & the 3rd woman [in her late 70's/early 80's] yelled at him angrily & said just b/c I'm old, I don't need help from you or anyone ! & also, didn't even say Thank-you
    : ( Sooooooooooo Sad, it's Pathetic !!!!
    Now ... Funny enough - [some of] these''' type'''' of women are the exact same women i hear - who are *always* saying .... There are NO Good Men out there anymore, poor me, blah blah blah etc!!! smh
    In conclusion, my husbands ''had it'' / [fed up] w/ all these women's '''issues'' & no longer 'opens doors anymore' : (
    ... so, Men feel guarded now to hold open doors etc, just don't do it anymore [I can't say I blame them] & women feel - not treated nicely etc / saying - no good men around = the ''perfect storm'' / vicious circle situation ... sad : ( !

    • @CK-vp6hh
      @CK-vp6hh 19 дней назад +15

      I appreciate the hell out of the men that open a door- offer to lift my luggage in the airplane and make I say so!

    • @cindyglass5827
      @cindyglass5827 19 дней назад +3

      @@CK-vp6hh Aw, [so sweet] I will definitely tell my husband ... !! He will be [truly] thrilled to know that : ) Thank-you for sharing , HAGD ! : )

    • @visionyouniversity
      @visionyouniversity 18 дней назад +5

      @@CK-vp6hhsame!! I appreciate chivalry!

    • @kirstenbrogan5958
      @kirstenbrogan5958 18 дней назад +8

      So sad, we're only hurting ourselves. I hope those types of women don't ruin it for the rest of us.

    • @sandrakaima
      @sandrakaima 17 дней назад +6

      A man opened the door for me and I thought this was the nicest thing, I starting fancying him because he was genuinely nice ( he was probably just being a gentleman). I’ve never had the same since 😂😂😂

  • @Anayr19
    @Anayr19 18 дней назад +17

    When a man really wants to look after his woman, I believe I would be more than happy to follow his decisions and I am the one who would nourish our child. Unfortunately that didn't happen because he is a horrible narcissist so things became upside down.

    • @jewelvercoerainbow8225
      @jewelvercoerainbow8225 16 дней назад +3

      Trust yourself first and protect yourself and your child and/or pet. If you want to leave, don't tell him, save money and get away without alerting him because that's when narcissists reveal themselves to be psychopaths. I speak from experience as a survivor.

    • @amarbyrd2520
      @amarbyrd2520 9 дней назад

      Exactly this. Pastors, especially, if they're going to give relationship advice, it feels like, need to recognize that some men get into positions of so-called "leadership" in order to exploit, not to truly serve. Without acknowledging that and offering women ways to maneuver around those men -- all these pastors and "leaders" are doing, no matter how well-meaning, is creating more damaged women and more damaged relationships ...

  • @sandrakaima
    @sandrakaima 17 дней назад +8

    You can ask questions, and people will lie. People change their minds depending on the seasons. How you feel when you're broke or broken is not the same as when you have plenty of cash and feel joy. How you feel in the winter is not the same as how you feel in the summer.

    • @Ladyfloflo
      @Ladyfloflo 16 дней назад

      So true!

    • @YT-fo7sy
      @YT-fo7sy 3 дня назад

      True. But what I’ve learned is to be patient and learn the person. Time. Growing in love and not fall in love. Are they consistent? Do their words match their actions? Do they respect your boundaries? Do you even have boundaries and are they healthy? I think often we’re asking the wrong questions and moving towards the relationship instead of being still to learn and follow our intuition.

  • @mapsmaps805
    @mapsmaps805 9 дней назад +6

    It amazes me how many women don't use their intuition when choosing a mate. It is 100% accurate 100% of the time.

    • @Jennifer-gr7hn
      @Jennifer-gr7hn 12 часов назад +1

      because TRAUMA deeply and subconsciously teaches us we are wrong, and therefore we accept breadcrumbs, tolerate low standards, feel our needs are expectations that are "too high" and all other lies we believe from the trauma early on. I use my intuition all the time at work and saved many patients' lives , including my own in emergencies, and I've set up many couples....but with myself, I failed miserably. I'm not learning why but had to died to find this out.

    • @ellecooperco
      @ellecooperco 6 часов назад

      ​@@Jennifer-gr7hn​@Jennifer-gr7hn this spoke to me. I'm learning to lean into my intuition now but failed when I choose to get married even though I could feel he wasn't the right one. Your explanation is spot on! After taking the steps to heal from all the trauma I faced as a young girl, I took my power back and freedom to know I always had a choice and I was always good enough.
      This healing allowed me to end a 10 year marriage that was a trauma response more than love, it breaks my heart but it's my truth.

  • @Firemoonherbals
    @Firemoonherbals 19 дней назад +27

    Not only about going head to head but the other spectrum where a man refuses to lead and makes you choose all the decisions.

    • @ThePhoinix33
      @ThePhoinix33 18 дней назад +5

      Yes, then he’s angry when you assert yourself because he won’t/ can’t lead.

  • @clumsymumsy2283
    @clumsymumsy2283 19 дней назад +20

    Thank you Lisa (and other co-hosts) for all your time and devotion in helping others. You are appreciated. 🦋🤟

  • @Nikita_848
    @Nikita_848 18 дней назад +102

    A strong woman is not a loud, aggressive woman but rather a woman who is feminine, gracious and holds her fort with class.

    • @amyholcomb6484
      @amyholcomb6484 17 дней назад +12

      @@Nikita_848 Strong women come in many forms… please stop projecting these 1950s ideals on other women. Your view is seriously sexist and outdated. I doubt you would make this comment about men. Women are people, not demure wall flowers.
      P.S. Not all strong women are feminine either.

    • @Nikita_848
      @Nikita_848 17 дней назад +10

      @@amyholcomb6484 If you don't know the difference between feminine and masculine then you have a lot to learn. It doesn't matter if you were born in the 50's or in the 20's, human beings "classy" behaviour is not time bound, but its rather determined by character and in-depth personality

    • @msjohnson91
      @msjohnson91 15 дней назад

      @@amyholcomb6484facts

    • @realtalk675
      @realtalk675 15 дней назад +5

      @@Nikita_848oh because you decide what is classy 😂

    • @realtalk675
      @realtalk675 15 дней назад

      Ronda rousey is strong ! You sound like a weak person hiding

  • @SherryTomlinson-mk7gm
    @SherryTomlinson-mk7gm 19 дней назад +10

    I was raised by a narc father and grew up with brothers. I adored my brothers. A horrible 3years marriage in my twenties. I went celibate 20 some years. But I had a wonderful male friend 21 years till his death. I refused to marry agin. He was a wonderful cook and we could sit for hours talking. I agree respect of each other is number one. But I am so non conventional. I still found your video very interesting. Btw you are so adorable Lisa I have watched your videos with Dr Ramani.

  • @lungileluanda2792
    @lungileluanda2792 13 дней назад +8

    When it come to submission i have always had a but to protect myself… I’m totally in agreement with what Ps Stephanie is saying, allowing myself to fully open up and strip away my protective garment, but now there is always being this advice that people say you can not tell your spouse how physically or mentally abuse your parent or someone close to you put you through… because they will do the same thinking that you have been through it once and who is going to protect you, if you parents did from the start…. How do one deal with that, because it also causes dishonesty between partners.

    • @shangweruth7795
      @shangweruth7795 Час назад

      That's not the right advice, one should be open with their partner not excluding their childhood experiences and abuse experiences they may have experienced.

  • @alexisagginie4574
    @alexisagginie4574 9 дней назад +2

    I do believe that SUBMISDION and LEADERSHIP go together. Leadership requires the person or persons must agree(submit) that leadership is required and their support is necessary.
    The Leader must be very truthful, humble and compassionate!
    Submission is a process!

  • @MamoJoydevine
    @MamoJoydevine 12 дней назад +1

    I've fell into the trap of thinking love was a chemical connection, and I really got burnt. But im grateful for the lessons learnt because now I know. I love how Ps Stephanie says wisdom is the application of knowledge. It just reminds me that everyday is a school day, there's always an opportunity to gain knowledge, to learn or unlearn things. Even in painful situations. I'm inspired by the wisdom you both embody in this conversation ladies❤

  • @carolyn1439ll
    @carolyn1439ll 18 дней назад +6

    So many takeaways from this video. I have to watch it again and take notes. The part I seemed to need to hear the most was when she reminded me that your true shine comes within.❤

    • @LisaBilyeu
      @LisaBilyeu  12 дней назад

      Hi Carolyn! Thank you for your comment! You've won a copy of Pastor Stephanie's upcoming book! Please email us at womenofimpact@impacttheory.com to confirm your U.S. address and we will get you a copy in August. Congratulations and thank you for watching & supporting our show! :)

    • @carolyn1439ll
      @carolyn1439ll 11 дней назад

      @@LisaBilyeu yay!!! So grateful 🥹 🥰

  • @Stephaniedamptey
    @Stephaniedamptey 8 дней назад +2

    I just burst into tears when you said what if he is taken away because my dad left us when I was soo young I didn't know it affected me so my so that I constantly have this fear of men leaving my life soo I self sabotage

  • @suigeneris4628
    @suigeneris4628 14 дней назад +1

    This is really a beautiful discussion. I like how she thinks and views things. Very helpful and enlightening!

  • @Khumo_fit
    @Khumo_fit 18 дней назад +16

    Pastor Stephanie is soo wise 🥹 Thank you Lisa for this interview ❤❤.

  • @jesstheromantic
    @jesstheromantic Час назад

    16:38 is so powerful because I'm the kind of person who wouldn't get married if I didn't align with someone's core values... so when things like deaths and disappointments happen that make my partner unhappy, cold, or distant for a season, the first thing I'm going to think is how can I lean in more to fill in the gap. I already know it's the environment that's making them act like this, not their true core, so it's not a permission slip for me to abandon them or my commitment.

  • @mariamb344
    @mariamb344 6 дней назад +1

    One of my favourite guests ever. LOVE her. Such an insightful and thought provoking heart centered discussion thank you

  • @anyazinara
    @anyazinara 16 дней назад +2

    THIS IS WHAT YOU HAVE STEPHANIE ON FOR!?!? i love it!! oh my goodness

  • @alexisagginie4574
    @alexisagginie4574 9 дней назад +1

    I heartfully believe that Communication with Humility will go a long, long way in solving many difficulties.

  • @user-po1ig6pi6w
    @user-po1ig6pi6w 8 дней назад +8

    This woman pours into you, when she speaks, you just want to listen. Lisa is very talkative (in a good way) and she had the same effect on her. I love you Stephanie. Thank you for your submission to the holy spirit.
    I was drawn to you with the message "Dreams & interpretation" because at the time, God knew I needed him to speak to me and I'm eternally grateful he used someone who he could speak through in his calm and gentle nature ❤

  • @alexisagginie4574
    @alexisagginie4574 9 дней назад +4

    Even Jesus said..... let your Yes be yes, and your No be no. He did not promote " hints".
    Communication is so, so important and Doable! NOBODY can read a Mind, nobody!

  • @marilynwarbis7224
    @marilynwarbis7224 15 дней назад +9

    The man is the leader but the woman is the teacher.

    • @sharicoburn5475
      @sharicoburn5475 14 дней назад

      She is the leader behind the leader

    • @mbrilliB
      @mbrilliB 10 дней назад +2

      ​@@sharicoburn5475she is the leader besides the leader

  • @Jennifer-gr7hn
    @Jennifer-gr7hn 12 часов назад

    I'm SO glad you had a Christian on, Lisa. A lot of great guests, but this was is very much needed.

  • @nedraford5461
    @nedraford5461 16 дней назад +4

    This is sooo rich! Thank you. Pastor Stephanie

  • @ig6851
    @ig6851 3 дня назад

    It's soooo much wisdom in this episode and I love the authenticity from you both!!!

  • @hannahhaynes1048
    @hannahhaynes1048 12 дней назад +1

    I love this conversation so much!! It is so needed 👏🏽

  • @stephm798
    @stephm798 10 дней назад +2

    I love my sister Stephanie, she is just real. Very excited about the book . Pre ordered

  • @jewelvercoerainbow8225
    @jewelvercoerainbow8225 16 дней назад +1

    Olive Leaf Extract tonic will cure kennel cough. A splash on their food. Organic turmeric powder is also good.
    Bring your dogs inside when the weather is cold or stormy. Give them cosy comfortable beds.

  • @deborahbell-theobservantch3759
    @deborahbell-theobservantch3759 15 дней назад +1

    Fantastic conversation, thank you Ladies ❤❤❤

  • @LiftWithTam
    @LiftWithTam 17 дней назад +4

    I love Stephanie ike okafor! Thank you for this episode

  • @sanyusarah-mv5jj
    @sanyusarah-mv5jj 11 дней назад +1

    Thank you so much for sharing with us! we appreciate may God bless you 🙏

  • @xariah2546
    @xariah2546 6 дней назад

    Awesome ! So glad she did this podcast. Women need more encouragement. We are wise builders✝️💞🙏🏾

  • @jeanmoise5143
    @jeanmoise5143 10 дней назад

    The part about Jealousy was so inspiring and accurate 👌🏾!

  • @ulricka2131
    @ulricka2131 18 дней назад +7

    Stephanie !! The wisdom, the laughter, the perfect skin... thank you for this discussion 🌸

  • @tourandrelocationcommunity
    @tourandrelocationcommunity 2 дня назад

    There are some things one partner will be qualified to lead in and there are some things the other partner will be qualifed to lead in depending on their strengths and weaknesses.

  • @Crys0219
    @Crys0219 День назад

    This only works when people have learned to deal with reality and be sincere and willing to be honest about who they are and where they are at. But a lot of people don't even know who they are. They live out who they think they are but are far from being realistic.

  • @nomcebokhumalo9975
    @nomcebokhumalo9975 7 дней назад

    This was so wholesome, great advise & wisdom ❤Thank you ladies.

  • @emeldaphasha7379
    @emeldaphasha7379 13 дней назад +1

    I see culture shifted our mindset but watch this open minded then you'll understand how powerful this conversation between this 2 is and how they head it straight up

  • @fS-jz5ml
    @fS-jz5ml 19 дней назад +6

    So true when she said, " When we get angry and we allow the moment to bring narrative, that's a lie" usually my mind starts to assume and goes to who knows where😅😢

  • @valindacrosby4716
    @valindacrosby4716 13 дней назад +1

    powerful, powerful words I was really blessed by everything that was said in this podcast.❤❤❤

  • @FlatStella1
    @FlatStella1 День назад

    I always say THANK YOU when guys open the door!

  • @Simone_Stots_
    @Simone_Stots_ 3 дня назад +1

    Great podcast ! Stephanie always brings the 🔥

  • @MC-jf5gc
    @MC-jf5gc 16 дней назад +1

    Lisa I loved the variety of topics you bring in, thank you
    I also Love the Sofas where can I get them 🙈

  • @NsikeSibisi
    @NsikeSibisi 8 дней назад +1

    Steph Steph Steph 😮‍💨👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽, I’m definitely gonna watch this again!

  • @JenniferNieman-oi4yb
    @JenniferNieman-oi4yb 13 дней назад

    This is humbling and brings a sense of understanding❤

  • @monicahpirisi9357
    @monicahpirisi9357 2 дня назад

    This is wisdom. Thank you for enlightening us❤. God bless you

  • @meko1981
    @meko1981 13 дней назад +1

    It's good. I'm already liking her and I'm only a few seconds in to watching the video but the guest she has on today. She's good. I'm liking her

  • @MC-jf5gc
    @MC-jf5gc 17 дней назад +2

    No no...when I go to bed after shower lotion, perfume and download what is on my mind to paper. Still showing some love to myself ❤

  • @lindiwebestlady
    @lindiwebestlady 6 дней назад +1

    It's sad relationships r now just causing heartache selfishness doesn't work for a relationship

  • @nnennayaowuala1908
    @nnennayaowuala1908 12 дней назад +2

    Thank you Pastor Stephanie ❤❤

  • @Jennifer-gr7hn
    @Jennifer-gr7hn 11 часов назад

    GREAT STUFF!!!!! Chose life, had faith, great witness

  • @zamacele6646
    @zamacele6646 День назад

    Great interview Lisa is an amazing listener

  • @fizzydee
    @fizzydee 6 дней назад

    So happy to see Pastor Steph!!

  • @Thatgirlandbible
    @Thatgirlandbible 20 минут назад

    There is so much strength in submission

  • @Kashmir-lt4cx
    @Kashmir-lt4cx 17 дней назад +1

    2:37 excatly! Whether it's buying a vehic, a home, being faithful and loyal!

  • @elkejack8247
    @elkejack8247 19 дней назад +33

    The man as the complete leader doesn't resonate with me. I prefer to think about it as I lead in certain areas and him in others. We both bring different skills to the table and the one with the most experience should lead in that area, while respectfully taking into account the partner's opinions and preferences.

    • @sunstardrummer
      @sunstardrummer 19 дней назад +4

      Well said,agree😊

    • @OurTube_TheOriginal
      @OurTube_TheOriginal 19 дней назад +2

      Absolutely.

    • @user-bi4hf6vq1d
      @user-bi4hf6vq1d 19 дней назад +2

      Totally Agree!!

    • @amyholcomb6484
      @amyholcomb6484 17 дней назад +4

      @@elkejack8247 THIS… relationships are partnerships. Do men really want the burden of leading 100% of the time? Do women ALWAYS need to follow? This is heavy on the 1950s vibe. Phyllis Schlafly would LOVE this!

    • @elkejack8247
      @elkejack8247 16 дней назад +1

      @@amyholcomb6484 yes, exactly

  • @nicoleml4491
    @nicoleml4491 19 дней назад +1

    Those are also my boundaries Agapi.
    1. Don't raise your hand
    2. Don't hit me
    3. Don't do drugs
    And would if they've done all 3 😮 how do you heal from these broken boundaries?

  • @zandy130
    @zandy130 12 дней назад +1

    The Lord is doing some work in me huuuu🔥🔥🔥PS Steph the tools you giving me I'm greatful for this moment 🙏 thank you Holy Spirit for such conversations♥️

  • @kettyjules-polynice4126
    @kettyjules-polynice4126 17 дней назад +1

    Awesome Episode, love Her!

  • @lucybrue1868
    @lucybrue1868 19 дней назад +10

    This is excellent Thank you so much for your wisdom

  • @TheSimplyDone
    @TheSimplyDone 18 дней назад +2

    This is the only relationship video necessary. Whew, I truly love and take in what Stephanie had to say. What a human and light!

    • @LisaBilyeu
      @LisaBilyeu  6 дней назад

      Hi there! Thank you for your comment! You've won a copy of Pastor Stephanie's upcoming book! Please email us at womenofimpact@impacttheory.com to confirm your U.S. address and we will get you a copy in August. Congratulations and thank you for watching & supporting our show! :)

  • @WilmaClaudio-t1x
    @WilmaClaudio-t1x 9 дней назад +1

    What a great episode!

  • @mwizapawinamukwanya5311
    @mwizapawinamukwanya5311 9 дней назад +1

    Pastor Stephen Ike Okafor if you ever have the time to read the comments on this channel, I want you to know that this conversation saved an African Christian lady. Thank you for the depth of wisdom and addressing things that I desperately needed answers to. And the Lisa Bilyeu I am your biggest fan and follower ❤

  • @Naomibelle-up2es
    @Naomibelle-up2es 23 часа назад

    A woman needs to trust the husband’s leadership skills prior to submit. A good leader in a couple must be trusted, honest, compassionate, respectful and should show some vulnerability.

  • @ancientroyalty4656
    @ancientroyalty4656 18 дней назад +2

    No one rises above their thought life
    How you think is how you live
    Dang

  • @Gugx
    @Gugx 18 дней назад +3

    My goodness, what an amazing, insightful & real conversation! A timely one too.
    I really learnt a lot. And plenty of my own questions answered.
    Thank you Pastor Stephanie and Lisa 🙏🏽 much appreciated. Blessings from South Africa 🇿🇦

  • @Gingersnaps50
    @Gingersnaps50 18 дней назад +1

    Love this!!!💝

  • @estherabaqueen
    @estherabaqueen 11 дней назад +1

    So good , God bless you 💜

  • @92drybones92
    @92drybones92 19 дней назад +7

    This video started off soooo damn strong. Wow. Super empowering.

  • @yourlovelybabe1
    @yourlovelybabe1 18 дней назад +4

    lol the fact my cheating ex didn’t want me to keep record of his cheating yet he kept doing it😂

  • @eraleighwhite8496
    @eraleighwhite8496 18 дней назад

    I love the movement towards feminine energy and masculine energy. Lisa, I think we are close to the same age…ish and you and so have the same view on relationships and I have followed you and @TomBilyeu for at least a decade. You are the most exceptional couple I have ever come across as far as trying to figure out your own why’s AND how to be a better partner. Yet I’m single and almost 50 and am STRUGGLING to even understand how to find the man who will embrace this with me. I sooo believe in it. To the depths of my core I believe that it is possible to have that kind of relationship. I work very hard at figuring out my own issues and know that I am where I am because of the choices I have made. Yet, it can feel soo hopeless that I will ever find the man who is a match for me (meaning chemistry and that sort of thing) that isn’t just scared and avoids emotional connection. Any words of wisdom would be appreciated girl. Keep on rocking it ❤

    • @nahjelaclaudette7538
      @nahjelaclaudette7538 18 дней назад +1

      Try online dating or go to the places where the kind of people you are looking for go to. Also up your workout and physical looks, be super attractive and sweet, yet guarded.

    • @LisaBilyeu
      @LisaBilyeu  12 дней назад

      Hi there! Thank you for your comment! You've won a copy of Pastor Stephanie's upcoming book! Please email us at womenofimpact@impacttheory.com to confirm your U.S. address and we will get you a copy in August. Congratulations and thank you for watching & supporting our show! :)

  • @Portia620
    @Portia620 18 дней назад +1

    Yes being compared to someone else! Agreed!

  • @user-ku5vm5jb1h
    @user-ku5vm5jb1h 19 дней назад +8

    I wonder if the stats change by age. I’ve dated mostly in my late 30s and my whole 40s. And my relationships have been average 3 years before abusive stuff really reached a crazy point. They hid their true selves.

    • @rhondacarlson2697
      @rhondacarlson2697 19 дней назад +1

      Wow! This is also my experience.

    • @Sunlightsam24
      @Sunlightsam24 18 дней назад +1

      But they didn’t hide it because you said it reached a crazy point at 3 years. What happened before that?

  • @jazmynegrace577
    @jazmynegrace577 7 дней назад

    Oh my goodness I was just talking to a young lady at my job about cheating and how is because they don't have boundaries they're not creating healthy boundaries between the people that they're interacting with

  • @TJAP404
    @TJAP404 12 дней назад

    Love Pastor Stephanie 🙏🏽❤

  • @authornikkimichelle2048
    @authornikkimichelle2048 13 дней назад +1

    I asked the questions, he lied but I take full accountability bc after I asked the questions, I was supposed to wait him out. It's hard to turn off the faucet of wanting to be loved when you were sexually and emotionally abused as a child. I have to surprise desires that were introduced to me against my will. But I'm expected to stay classy and put in the work to discern the wolves. Sadly, None of my culprits were held accountable, EVER. But I have to stay accountable and not think of love but wait for God in his timing. How much more can one heart take💔

    • @MamoJoydevine
      @MamoJoydevine 12 дней назад +1

      May the healing and peace of God embrace you Nikki. Praying for you 🙏

    • @LisaBilyeu
      @LisaBilyeu  10 дней назад +2

      You are so incredibly strong by even writing this! Thank your for being so open and sharing your story!

  • @reachoperator212
    @reachoperator212 2 дня назад

    When a man feels respected he will activate being the protector, but if he feel like he has to go toe to toe with you, you becomes each other's roommate. Facts and more facts. Jewels ❤ 💎 🔸️ 🔶️ 🔹️

  • @sharicoburn5475
    @sharicoburn5475 14 дней назад +1

    Yeah you can differ and trust their leadership but then if they show poor decision making skills then your trust will go down and then they feel disrespected but it's because they have to earn it and some of them just don't earn it let's face it

  • @kyliefenwick4694
    @kyliefenwick4694 12 дней назад +1

    Fire analogy so good.

    • @LisaBilyeu
      @LisaBilyeu  10 дней назад

      Right? I’ve used that like 10 times since!

  • @afraidtosay8471
    @afraidtosay8471 18 дней назад +6

    As a Christian I find this completely fundamentalist. Thinking all these same things as this female pastor (leader) I married, and realised that all that matters is autonomy and Christ, for me. My husband loves the Lord in his own way. We both show leadership and neither of us are under one another. I listen to his wisdom and he to mine. This wonderful lady pastor is speaking the brainwashed language of the church. As nice and wise she seems, and innocent, the minds of believers are a production line.

    • @amyholcomb6484
      @amyholcomb6484 17 дней назад

      @@afraidtosay8471 I’m so totally disappointed in this interview and exchange that I’m completely turned off…but I’m sure Phyllis Schlafly would approve.

    • @Thandiwe1234
      @Thandiwe1234 13 дней назад +2

      These are biblical principles understood in the Christian faith. Naturally that dynamic of people can relate therefore I can respect the way you and your husband are in your marriage but this doesn’t change that this is biblical

    • @afraidtosay8471
      @afraidtosay8471 13 дней назад +2

      @@Thandiwe1234 Hi Thandiwe, I am a Christian and my husband is too. Straight biological female and male. I am a deep believer and read the Bible daily. I have sat for 15 years total - a good number of years each - in handful of denominations. I can state sound mindly that The Handmaid's Tale was also Biblical. What this woman pastor does can lead to the reason why Christ was not going to accept Satan's offer on the hill. Her rhetoric is innocent and blind because it leads to a cliff edge if you begin to structure the society with concepts of the Kingdom on the earth. This is very very important to understand. Do not be proud that this is Biblical, Muslims are proud of Sharia and Christ rejected exactly that on the hill.

    • @Thandiwe1234
      @Thandiwe1234 13 дней назад +2

      @@afraidtosay8471 1 Corinthians 11:3 There is order in God, we should not change scripture for our own benefit or to fit our narrative, this is why I can respect your view, but the word remains to be the truth for those who believe Deuteronomy 4:2 What she is saying is sound doctrine

    • @afraidtosay8471
      @afraidtosay8471 13 дней назад

      @@Thandiwe1234 Hi Thandiwe, the Scriptures you used they do not point to what the lady pastor is saying. There is definitely order in God. My impression is that you were not sure what I said above. The best thing as a Christian is to watch Hulu's The Handmaid's Tale, all of it. You will see that structuring society according to the Kingdom here on earth means oppression. Either sin reins, or sin is killed. The medium is of another kingdom. These concepts are very very important, Biblically.

  • @Kashmir-lt4cx
    @Kashmir-lt4cx 17 дней назад +1

    0:44 eventuality its gonna break, if its self-focus pertaining to one of the parties in a "relationship"! 😱

  • @gmcnair33
    @gmcnair33 18 дней назад +1

    Unspoken tension.... Facts

  • @TremelJackson
    @TremelJackson 11 дней назад +6

    As a guy who's never dated and only talks to women platonicly I've learned that most women are traumatized from their previous relationships so I will never date or marry and just keep it platonic which feels great because that means I won't be adding unnecessary stress to a woman's life and they won't be adding stress to mine, especially since alot of guys out here are already messed up from the trauma they've endoured which is traumatizing women so if you ask me the dating market is just a cycle of people trauma bonding.

    • @roea7846
      @roea7846 5 дней назад +3

      I hope one day you venture outside of your comfort zone to have a true love and relationship with someone. If you are only coming across women who are traumatized, you might want to expand your pool. There are healthy men and women in the world.