The Era of Disney Purity Rings
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- Опубликовано: 28 авг 2024
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I find it interesting that people expected Disney girls to wear the purity rings, but for the Jonas Brothers, many people made fun of them for having them. This really shows different gender expectations: women are expected to be gatekeepers of their sexuality and men are expected to want and seek sex. This really shows how gender norms can harm everyone.
Yeah, I don’t think I even heard about Miley, Selena or Demi having purity rings, just the Jonas Brothers?
Idk one gender doesn't seem to mind nearly as much and also seems to be very much reinforcing these ideas
@@JasminMiettunen me either!!
I grew up in the 70s and girls were expected to be the gatekeepers of their sexuality and it was celebrated to have guys want and seek sex. Who do you think these guys were having six with. Teen hormones are a challenge for sure. Not much has changed it appears.
Absolutely. Gender is a shitty social construct and it should be dismantled, for everyone's sake
I had a purity ring given to me by my parents in a purity “ceremony” when I was in my early teens. I stayed “pure” until I was married at 21. Three years later, I’m no longer religious, no longer married, and no longer straight lmao.
All the power to you 💟
🔥🔥🔥
❤️❤️❤️
Congrats for finding your truth!
I hope you're doin awesome ✌
I remember being told that condoms were ineffective because most people used them incorrectly. They did not show us how to use them correctly.
🤣🤣🤣🤣 that's one way to make sure that fact does not change.
@@angel-ke9vs I mean what did they expect to happen if they kept repeating the fact but did not do anything about it?!
Condoms are great. Sucks that birth control pills are pushed so hard onto us. It just screws up our hormones.
You know how awkward it would be to pull out a dildo to demonstrate?
I feel so bad for people like Britney Spears and Jessica Simpson who were constantly harassed about their virginity/sex life. It’s so invasive and misogynistic
The amount of child stars that are affected by this type of thing is uncountable. The sad part is the amount that DONT speak up. The amount of male actors that are sexually harassed is just as bad as female actresses. Most men, compared to women, are far less likely to speak out.
Children shouldn’t even be allowed to act or perform at this point. They’re literally being forced to do things they don’t understand or sometimes don’t even want, besides being abused. Imagine being a kid who DOESNT want to be famous but your parents want you make them money so you get molested constantly but no one cares because you made X amount of money for that episode, hopefully they “liked” you enough to keep the money coming in.
I love how abstinence only sex education was intended to reduce teen pregnancies, yet areas that primarily teach abstinence have higher teen pregnancy rates than areas with more comprehensive education
Ok so? That doesn't just imply that abstinence teaching is bad/doesn't work. It means kids are stubborn and don't like to do what they're told. I'm sure it made some sort of impact. For sure way better than not saying anything.
@@TheBrandonnno it probably does make things worse because kids who grow up with abstinence only education are much more likely to not have access to contraceptives and the promotion of abstinence will only encourage kids who are having sex to not get tested for STIs due to shame and stigma.
@@TheBrandonn The point is that places that teach abstinence also decide to gloss over how to SAFELY have sex.
@@TheBrandonn actually I think it’s been proven that it’s abstinence only teaching that causes that problem. People are gonna get it on anyway. But if they’re only taught not to do it, instead of how to avoid pregnancy and disease, the pregnancy and disease happens anyway. Teaching people that abstinence is an option but how to stay safe just incase is fine. But only teaching not to do it is what creates the problem.
@@TheBrandonn yeah, can you imagine teens are their own person with their will and wishes and not animals to be commanded by other adults. Crazy, right? If they want to have sex they will, might as well just educate them to prevent unwanted outcomes.
Pledging virginity to their fathers???? Ugh that’s so cringe and disgusting. I’m getting a visceral reaction to that
Honestly. I always thought this kind of "you don't need privacy, you can trust us" parenting was really invasive and inappropriate. The same as taking your child's bedroom door away or not allowing them to lock the bathroom door. It has some very questionable undertones..
@@chiaralinnea4335 Oh, yeah. Things like that can cause real trauma in kids (even if nothing happens as a result of it), as even though they may technically be the legal property of their parents, being _treated_ like it in a way that is too overt can literally destroy their mental health. Surprisingly, humans do not react well to a lack of freedom, and control over their own autonomy. Who would have thought?
@@chiaralinnea4335 I had my parents do shit like that. It took years of unintentionally getting nervous if anyone even looked at my stuff to even somewhat get over that
@@randomtinypotatocried i'm so sorry, i really hope you're in a better place now. You deserve it
It's good
I was raised catholic and never had a problem with abstinence only education, then I realized I was asexual and things started to make a lot more sense.
I swear I never got why ppl wanted to have sex so badly😂 Realizing that I'm asexual explained why I skipped the horny teenager phase.
Still happy to have had normal sex-ed and I hope the abstinence shit ends in generell, I don't want my allosexual friends to be shamed or misinformed
Yeah it seems that a lot of young asexuals are like "don't have sex? Alright!" because we do have that choice lol
I remember thinking it made sense until I noticed all the people around me going through some shit and had to question it.
Its the “what’s so hard about abstinence?” to asexual pipeline 😂
No I straight up asked my dad for a purity ring when I was 12, and realizing in my late teens I'm ace, I'm like was little me already figuring her sh*t out and I'm just stupid?
Lol same, I also did not get why people wpuld cheat on their partners, why you want to have sex so badly? why everybody loose their minds to it
It was just another way for Disney to control them and make them ''marketable'', like how kpop companies do with idols to make them seem innocent and available, cause some fans are possesive. It is heartbreaking, cause while these people gave us the best memories with their shows, they could not have a proper youth, childhoods, happiness that every person should have.
Yes, that’s sad :(
also the part about being a role mode for the young fans
ugh the infantilization + simultaneous sexualization of kpop idols almost made me unstan the whole genre. thankfully i can just listen to the music only, and call out weirdos (when i can). it’s really hard to ignore. :/
Ah ok. So I’m not the only one who sees some overlap between early 2000 Disney channel and the current kpop industry. It’s more worrisome when you consider the recent trend of kpop idols debuting at younger ages than their uh…3rd and 2nd Gen counterparts.
Idk I’ve just gone down a rabbit hole of these deep takes on 90s/2000s Disney channel culture. In parts it makes me nostalgic because I was a kid but Also the similarities to kpop. Lol.
@@bimbozos fr. Like I love my biases but why tf are you six years out of high school and dancing in a schoolboy/schoolgirl* outfit. I can’t.
The obsession with virginity in the media is terrifying for anyone to grow up in let alone being a teenage celebrity with thousands of people exploiting you and your right to privacy
My sex ed experience was a weird mixture of abstinence and also accurate info. Literally just like "DO NOT HAVE SEX but also here's how to put on a condom YOU WILL DIE IF YOU HAVE SEX but also hiv/aids isnt a death sentence and can be avoided if ur safe PLEASE MAINTAIN UR PURITY these are dental dams"
This is low key the mean girls sex education scene
That was my experience, I assume as a result of compromise. They also never told us what exactly sex was, you kind of just had to infer what "normal" sex, anal sex, and oral sex was. Also it isn't inaccurate to say that abstinence is the only 100 percent effective way to prevent STD and pregnancy.
They also had an activity designed to show how promiscuity promotes the spread of STDs, where we each had to tap two different people and then the teacher told people who were touched by someone who stood up to stand up, showing how the disease spread. Except I was in a group of kids that create a closed 3 person loop. So instead of it being "this is why monogamy is good" it became "this is why closed relationships of any kind is good"
My church minister said that you should only take the pill after you're married 💀
@@bethswiftie .0.
That’s how my high school sex ed was. We heard bits about condoms, how pills work, what STDs are, but went back to preaching abstinence
Don’t forget about Taylor Swift. While not a Disney star she was the first teen star to refuse publicly to ever answer the virginity question. It was a turning point
Honestly, I read about that and thought "Good for her- no teenager should have to answer such a weird question"
I mean as a teenager she shouldn't even be asked that qurstion. Its so weird. But tbh its also weird in adulthood like why would you ask that
Like honestly why would you care about who a teen is having sex with? Or even if they're having sex? As long as they're being safe, I don't care
Yes as a boy myself I really like and respect Taylor Swift for doing that
The argument that “Abstinence is the only way to ensure you don’t get sexually transmitted diseases” always strikes me because DUH. But that’s like saying “Staying in doors is the only way to ensure you don’t get a sunburn.” Or “Never crossing the street is the only way to ensure you don’t get hit by a car.” Like obviously, but it’s not realistic! #CommonSense
And side note, there are a good amount of people who waited till marriage just to find out their partner did have an STD soooo 🤦🏾♀️🤷🏾♀️
Plus there are some STDs that people can catch by useing the same towels or sleeping in someone's bed sheets, so lack of abstinence is not 100% as people think
@@Aliens420 bro don’t say that I’m gonna be scared to go anywhere😭
@@wildfire5838 If don't sleep in bed sheets used by someone else and you don't use other people's towels, bothom clothes ect... you should be fine. A lot of this stuff boils down to basic higene rules that people should follow anyways, not just becouse of stds.
Besides, there are worst things in the world you can catch
Oh, I guess you don't have windows in your house? Which is made of steel and will prevent a car from crashing into it? I guess you also don't rub cuts with your friends? Psssh!
Throw in things like herpes being transmitted by kissing
For me its wild, because I'm from Europe and these Disney stars were really big here as well; on the cover of every teen magazine, in tv etc. But these "purity thing" was never ever discussed in the media in my country. We get super early sex education in school (3rd grade) so I don't think this "marketing strategy" of virginity wouldn't have worked.
it was mentioned in the magazines I read, and I am from Poland. but my country was always one of the most catholic in europe so we never had good sexual education, and the one I got was pretty terrible
@@MyDream234 Yeah, there are huge differences in Europe regarding (teen) sex to this day. Maybe @Maria L. is from central or northern Europe but the south and especially east still are vastly different.
Yeah, Polish teen magazines like Bravo had many articles about it.
I think you talk about west europe.
@@MyDream234 I’m from Italy (another really Catholic country) and I don’t remember it being discussed on the magazines. I’m pretty sure that an average Italian wouldn’t know what a purity ring even is
When I was around 19 or 20 (2012 or so) I briefly wore a purity ring because that was my personal choice and how I chose to reflect my personal values. One day a customer at work asked me “oh! Is that the kind of purity ring you get from your father? Or with your boyfriend?” Not only was that a ridiculously obnoxious question, but I remember feeling actually embarrassed that I had actually bought the ring for myself - when in reality, my sexual choices should be my own and not at the discretion of a man in my life
you walked straight into that one girl don't blame that person 💀💀
@@user-jk7vp7vn2k you're blaming the wrong person here.
@@freyjablue. you can get a tramp tat if you want to and ill support you but its entirely on you if ppl think you a hoe bc if it
In my experience in high school, the kids with purity rings were never actually pure 😅 If you have too tight of a leash on your kids they will rebel!
Exactly how many teens do things simply BECAUSE they are told not to
Parents really need to remember this when raising their kids. If you tell them not to do something, they will. Let them be themselves and there will be no issues.
can confirm that the most conservative, sheltered areas had the wildest kids
Even as a kid I thought it was gimmicky and weird for all these adults to govern someone else’s sexuality
I remember feeling that way too
Same, and I’m wondering if growing up in a more progressive-leaning area of the country is why it stood out as weird to me. Because it wasn’t a popular cultural concept here.
I mean if that your opinion. It’s better than sexualizing children. Oh wait, they’re doing that now.
I hate that it's even called "purity". Like having sex is something dirty and you should feel guilty for it
Why someone's virginity is even a thing. I watched the interview where a grown man forced young Britney Spears to talk about her virginity and it's so uncomfortable and gross
Like that's literally the reason why we exist, because 2 people had sex.
Even as an adult I wonder if I'll ever be able to respect myself after the wedding night. Even if I waited til I married, it's still "defilement" in my mind, like my inherent human value will be gone.
Cry about it bozo 🤓🤓🤓
@@Em_ElizabethOh no Elizabeth I didnt ask nor do I care 🤡
@@Timothymcgregor234no one’s talking to you old man 😂
There’s something very ironic and disturbing about the sexualization of virginity.
Sometimes I wonder if I am really asexual, or if these abstinence campaigns made me so terrified of sex that I still get uncomfortable thinking about my sexuality.
Cope
I remember the scandal the teen mag that I read drummed up when Joe was dating Ashley Greene and he took off the purity ring. I can't back this up but I feel like from my memory there was also a fair bit of demonisation done of Ashley, as if she lured him into taking the ring off or something ...
oh it definitely was! i remember like it was yesterday, people calling her all types of $lut, talking about how she "stole" him from demi and constantly saying she made joe practice a "sin" 😕
Yes i remeber that. Ashely was the public enemy
She is a queen now with a Twilight themed podcast
I remember this!! Still years later. 😕
I also remember this. That and Joe and Taylor. I found both situations really disgusting and invasive, but my mom was all for the drama. It was a weird time.
As a greek 23 year-old, the obsession americans have with purity culture is really shocking. I feel like the people in my tiny, in the middle of nowhere village, are way more rational and educated on the topic of sex than the average american.
I mean you're probably right, in high school the school hired some guy come in to talk about sex ed. He claimed the only safe sex is if you're wearing a hazmat suit... How that works logistically, haven't got a clue. I mean everyone very quickly figured out this guy was insane and the teachers were seriously debating kicking him out because nothing he said made any sense. His statistics of STD's were so out of control, that he inadvertently implied that everyone whose had sex gets one. Like dude, what's the point in waiting if everyone gets one anyway huh? Doesn't change if it's treatable or not does it? Also he constantly talked about his wife was a huge slut in high school but stopped and decided she was better off writing letters to future husband aka him. Which was really creepy since she was not there, and that really feels like something she should share if she wants. Not a talking point or bragging point for her husband to use to manipulate people. He also was never invited back, and I'm pretty sure he's blacklisted. Still nightmare of a lecture, and it had the health teachers doing damage control for weeks. But that's abstinence only education for you.
As an American, I can say it has gotten a bit better here. I feel like it’s now more of an outdated belief with older generations. The belief is dying with younger generations now but unfortunately it still somewhat lives with gen-x and above :/
@@hotsexyangel good point, I agree. I’ll add that this generational shift seems to also highlight the areas where outdated beliefs are still prominent. Which is ultimately a good thing, I think. But I don’t live in those places, so idk what that’s like.
It's not only America though I feel as if it's more of a religious culture thing. There are quite a few countries that have groups of people who treat abstinence as a mission to "save" people.
Ειλικρινά και εγώ από ένα μικρό χωριό είμαι και πιστεύω το ίδιο 😅😂
I had abstained only sex-Ed, it was horrible! A whole 7 minutes and if any of us asked question (not even “bad” questions, normal health questions) we were just ignored and then they walked out, no more sex-ed for us. I had to find all my sex-ed myself, which I’m fine doing, but I wish I was able to get it from someone trained to tell me, because the internet has plenty of false information.
We basically got told that STDs would kill us and that was it. That was my entire sex-ed, I didn't even understand basic sexual anatomy until about 2 years ago. In my 20s
Pq
.
I remember lots of scare tactics in my abstinence only NC school. They spent like 30 minutes on each STI explaining how each of them were individually horrible and the only way to prevent it was waiting until marriage
That’s really dumb bc their spouse can still give them an std
Same
Same. They said if we looked away from the screen showing the infections, our grade would be docked.
Were STIs not curable back then? I know that the AIDS medicine is fairly new but other than that? Most people live with and STI unknowingly and it's really not a big deal. The ones that are curable, you just have to notice early enough and then treat it. Not a single difference to other illnesses that aren't sex related.
@@Shirumoon I'm confused. You ask if they're curable and then acknowledge that only some are curable in the same comment. Anywho compared to other illnesses/diseases the difference is stigma. Anything involving reproductive organs is considered more of a sensitive topic and to some people gross.
My body just had a physical reaction to the term "pledging their virginity to their fathers"....
Yes, that is patriarchy in a nutshell. Men illegitimately declare ownership over the female body and pass her on from one man to another, thus transferring reproductive ability from women to the man who "owns" her, generating offsprings to sustain their power structure. A parasitic cycle.
Around 2013-14 I had my high school sex Ed class. We had an abstinence lady who came in and spoke to us about abstinence being the only option. She told us that any child conceived from non married parents would be a failure….. which REALLY didn’t sit right with me since I was one of those kids (I was born a few months before my parents wedding). When I pointed out that I was one of these kids and doing just fine she brushed it off and tried to force us to sign purity cards which many people didn’t or only did as a joke
It’s so gross how adults thought the seggs life’s of teenagers was gossip and drama, no it a gross. Thank you for this video!
The obsession with younger women's virginity is inherently predacious
Other than that it relates to the sexuality of young women, I don't see the connection.
@@TheGreatMcN nah being obessed with minors and barely legal adults virgity is weird and predacious
this is bringing back so many messed-up memories. i watched this whole thing from a distance as a teenager who was 100% uninterested in sex and romance, so i thankfully didn't internalize most of the awful stuff about purity ring culture. i remember seeing people ask teenagers about their sex lives and feeling weird about it, but also thinking i only felt weird about it because i was a "late bloomer."
now i look back and it's like holy shit, the media is grilling literal children about their sex lives or lack thereof. how did ANYBODY think this is okay? i hope all these child stars got the therapy they surely needed after growing up in that environment.
I still don't feel sexual attraction in my mid 20s. I always thought the focus on relationships for younger teens and pre-teens was weird. I've actually had people use religion to say my lack of desire is wrong, so you really can't win. Once I found out about asexuality it made a lot more sense, but learning how to navigate romance and what being in a relationship is like emotionally and mentally has been hard because all the focus was on, "wait until marriage," or "avoid temptations," instead of things like learning coping skills, how to have difficult discussions with a friend or partner, and how to deal with conflicts, which are much more important to the health of a relationship.
@@joylox yeah, no, i knew i was asexual from a pretty young age. but you know how people are. i just didn't mention it because i didn't think it was relevant to my point, lol. you're super right, though.
The fact that we hyper sexualised actual children for the sake of religion and control is disgusting. And even now we all, especially women, are dealing with the after effects. People have sex, it doesn't devalue you as a human being. The 2000's was especially icky and Im so thankful I had better outside influences and my schools were starting to change the way we talked about this stuff. Im also Canadian though, can't imagine having all this shoved in my face
Bro the 2000s were pushing children to be children and if we set aside the PURITY rings, WE ARE IN THE GENERATION THATS ESPECIALLY ICKY.
Honestly, tell kids to not have sex and educate them about the consequences and outcomes of sex. That’s not sexualising kids. That’s being aware that young teens are stupid af, and will get pregnant and force their fam to participate in supporting their stupid decisions- the most costly decisions the kids will probably ever make.
If you think the Purity rings sexualized children take a look at current child actors. Being sexualized on childrens shows left and right like it’s no one’s business.
Also still dealing with how it doesn't devalue me as a human. Churches suck
Yup. It's only women who suffer. Not the men who are only left with women who are increasingly becoming more sexual, for the sheer sake of "muh rights." Hey, we'd like to get married to. Y'all aren't the only ones suffering from your promiscuity.
As a Christian I'm deeply disturbed by this
When I was 13/14 (2005/2006) my dad saw an article about purity rings and purity balls in a Christian magazine and told me I had to go through it. I told him I'd go to family court and tell judge I wanted to live with my mom full time if he tried.
Dafuq is purity balls?
Ohhhh…like a ball, a ball, like a gala, or a cotillion, a debutante ball…my bad I apologize for my stupidity lol.
@@JRay.R LOL it's all good. I realize the word ball isn't used a lot these days, so I probably should have reworded it.
I’m from Europe and in 7-8 grade we had Sexual education twice! once whit our main school teacher and once whit an expert that showed us everything from how to use contraceptives and put on protection to how to react when harassed on the streets over a 3-day lesson. It was very educational for 15-year-old me and it prepared me a little bit more for adulthood. I wish everyone could have this opportunity.
yes same! we also learned a lot about our anatomies in biology
As someone who grew up in 2000s purity culture and then chose not to take that path when i got to college. I feel for these stars so much. It's kinda strange to make a lifelong decision at 15 years old before you even really know how you feel or what you want and then have to publicly talk about it over and over again.
I was lucky to grow up in a very liberal household and knew if I had any questions I could ask and my mom made it very clear if I ever needed any birth control or an abortion she would be there for me ( back when we had rights) . I remember the absolute horror I felt when we had an abstinence only speaker in high school. I still remember hearing this man stand on our auditorium stage and tell us that we were like a USED PIECE OF GUM or TAPE. The absolute audacity to say our worth was tied into how many times we were "used". This was back in like 2008? I think we were probably the last class who had to go through that for a while thank god.
my church had a guy who illustrated how premarital sex made him broken by slamming a rose on the ground until all the petals fell off while he delivered a dramatic monologue that ended with god blessing him with second/restored virginity (and a new rose). abstinence-only programs are WILD.
@@ravenofroses They do the absolute most while saying total nonsense and giving you nothing
I wasn't taught abstinence and I grew up in a non-religious, no morals household as well. Then suffered through an abortion at age 20. It lef to PTSD, extreme personality changes, asexuality/aromantic, etc. I wish there had been some sort of education on how to deal with loss. Or telling us we should be more careful with our bodies. SO jealous of kids who got abstinence teaching.
@@TheBrandonn i didnt know a man could get a abortion or pregnant
@@TheBrandonnJust because someone isn’t religious doesn’t mean they don’t have morals. And you didn’t have to be taught abstinence. If you don’t want to have sex, you don’t. I was taught all about birth control in public school in grade 7 and 8. My mom also answered any questions I had. The class didn’t make me want to have sex. I just knew when it happened how to prevent pregnancy and diseases. Then I went to a Catholic high school. It was in the 80’s but they still don’t teach sex Ed. My friends knew nothing and we had so many girls get pregnant. How any school can watch literal children having babies of their own blew my mind. Sexuality is a part of being human. If they want to teach abstinence they should teach about masturbation and stop vilifying it. Sexual release is actually healthy as it releases stress hormones like cortisol. Also you’re story dude lines up with every bullshit myth about sex and abortions.
You sir, may be brainwashed but kindly keep it to yourself. The amount of SA done by religious leaders of every kind are so common. They use their power to groom or just rape children or adults and know they’ll be believed over the victim and shame them it was their fault.
ooh true love waits, i grew up going to catholic schools and i’m pretty sure they gave us a card to sign saying we’d pledge purity and we should carry it in our wallet to let people know. i also had a purity ring, and the woman teaching “sex ed” told us we’d be “living in a lake of shit” i’d we had sex before marriage. gotta love guilting and scaring children into celibacy
oh and only the girls got this kind of talk, the boys told us they just joked around during their sessions
My friend did that and wanted my sister and me to do so as well but I didn't see the point of keeping a certificate for years just to prove I waited.
Cry about it 🤡
As a kid I thought it was cool they wore those rings and that was it, I didn’t know it was such a big thing and that they were constantly asked invasive questions.
like 9 yr old me was just like “hey good for them” & I moved on thinking nothing of it. I didn’t know it was part of their branding or anything until I got older.
I vaguely remember passively seeing tabloids of when nick jonas took off his purity ring. To me it wasn’t a big thing but I guess at the time, the media treated it as one.
Honestly I’m ace & even I think promoting just abstinence & waiting til marriage isn’t feasible when people are getting married more in their 30s vs how in the 20th century getting married in your late teens/early twenties was more common in certain eras.
Ppl nowadays are having less sex anyways and as it’s shown, being more educated on sexual health is more beneficial for teens.
Also last thing, a lot of boomers and their parents only got married bc of unplanned pregnancies so they are hypocrites on this waiting til marriage thing but are we surprised on that aspect?
My mom tried to get me into the purity ring thing. We weren't religious or part of any church or anything, but she gifted me a purity necklace back in 2008-ish. I didn't understand the significance at the time and started wearing it. As I got older, I found the whole purity ring/necklace didn't really jive with my own beliefs so I stopped wearing it. No one made a big deal out of it, thankfully.
I remember being outraged that I had learned more about how sex, pregnancy and stds worked in my biology class than in the multiple sex ed classes I had to take. And I grew up in upstate NY, abstinence only education isn't just a problem in the South and the Bible Belt. It's everywhere
The abstinence only sex-ed is always so fascinating to me. I was very privileged to grow up in a country where we had sex-ed starting in third grade which dealt with anatomy and periods and the likes and even self-pleasure and reproduction loosely (in a "when two people like each other a lot" way), I think, and then again in seventh grade to talk about how to use contraception and STDs and stuff, and then again in 9th grade, because for some students that was the last grade they'd attend. I don't even think we ever had a talk about abstinence as more than a "some people wait longer than others, whatever you're comfortable with".
Oh also on the off-chance you're reading my comment: happy birthday!
Yes same, abstinence was more of a 'you don't have to do anything you do not feel comfortable with' kinda sense in like, if you don't want to that's fine, but here is what you need to know in case you decide to try it, which I really appreciated. Loads of kids and teens will not lose their virginity as early as people might fear if they know whats going on and are educated about it. And even if they do, with proper sex-ed they will know how to not get pregnant because they know how contraception works.
I love how abstinence is supposed to keep teens from getting pregnant but telling them how to use a condom in order to prevent pregnancies is the devils work...
I wrote a long reply and youtube just deleted it even when I used asterisks? Smh even youtube is abstinence only
There needs to be a shift in sex education because there are seems to be only two things to be, a slut or a virgin. The inconsistent messaging is to blame. I got lectures about saving yourself for marriage but no real information about the impact having sex with someone would have on me as a person, particularly since I was taught to value virginity so highly. I think discussing the pros and cons of abstinence and of being sexually active and having open discussions on how to decide when you're ready etc should be the norm. Human beings are emotional and sexual beings and that should form part of our education.
i just want to chime in to say that when i was about 23, our pastor’s son (ig early 30s), told me to read a true love waits book when i told him i’ve been with my boyfriend for about 6 years.
fast forward a year or so, he had a shotgun wedding bc his wife-to-be was six months pregnant.
Jesus!!!
I went into this Video thinking "Oh this will be nice to calm down with a bit of fun talking about celebrity purity rings".
Now I'm enraged by the fact that Sex education just 20 years ago was so incredibly horrible and the whole state just worked together to make purity seem like the best way to prevent a stds.
But still, really great Video!
Babe wake up- Ashley posted a new vid!!
With the whole magazines basically threatening them that they write whatever they want if they don't answer the questions, the only thing I wonder is - where were the managers or the adults responsible for them? As a manager I would blacklist these interviewers and maybe threaten them with a lawsuit if they just print shit. Was noone there to oversee the interviews of these teenage Disney stars? But then again what else is to be expected by Disney...
I went to one of those silver ring events with my youth group when I was in junior high. The pyrotechnics and stuff was heavily part of the advertisement and I remember being pretty confused as to what the point of having all that was. They also had booths up front where you could order promise rings. God what a scam. My school was also part of an abstinence only program (yay Texas...) and the lady leading the program would straight up lie to us about sexual health. She told us sperm was small enough to swim through condoms. I get mad just thinking about it...
unpopular opinion: you can have the "full" experience of love without having sex, coming from an asexual. (i do agree that shaming sex is fucked up, but saying it's not the full experience if you're not having sex is devalidating. i'm sure sex ed would help recognize that too)
Good point, I agree 👍
Idk I'm asexual too so for my personal relationships, I would agree. But for other ppl idk, sex can be a pretty important factor in a relationship, knowing my allo friends. Certainly society is way too sex crazy lmao but I understand where the sentiment comes from ig
Absolutely, but for many people sex is a necessary part of love and relationship. It just depends on the person and what kind of love they cherish the most. I have friends for whom a relationship without sex is unthinkable because it is an important part of their love language and they need it to feel fulfilled. Others can do without sex no problem. It just really depends, but yes, there are loads of relationships that do great and are fulfilling without sex.
That's true. It's different from person to person, some can lead a strong relationship without s*x and by bonding over conversation or something else. In general just no one should be shamed or forced for having s*x or for not having s*x, everyone is allowed to have agency over their own body. And any kind of force or shame is just messed up.
right
I’m really glad the impact on SA and the purity rings came into the conversation. We would’ve been better being taught the emotional, psychological, and physical implications of sex, in addition to those who would try to do bad things. It was all very rose-colored language, so many kids were salivating at the opportunity to get married just to experience this “big special event.” For mainly girls, it was all about “protect your virginity.” But when SA happens, you feel like you lost, and you feel like you don’t want to tell anyone that you lost this “precious” thing that someone took from you; that hurts reporting efforts. I hope everyone feels empowered to speak up against injustice and be educated on sex - the good, the great, the bad, and the ugly. The ring isn’t your personality, you are a human capable of making strong decisions and having discipline with or without it.
I get so excited when u post a new video but also feel stressed for u that ur in law school and now thousands of people r demanding content from you anyways ur killin it
It’s a good distraction when I don’t feel like studying 🥰
As a kid I just thought the rings were just part of their faith and that was it. I was also Catholic so it didn’t seem weird to me. But I never did it myself. I was 8. I was way too young to even think about sex before marriage and didn’t grasp how … weird, this entire thing was. I didn’t even realize these celebrities got hounded so much. I just thought it was a fun fact about them, like their favorite cereal, favorite movie, etc.
Same! Like oh, they’re waiting until marriage, cool, me too. It wasn’t like a huge deal?
The quote about Reagan starting everything bad is so real
Purity rings might be seen as tacky now, but some celebs (girls and woman mostly) are still forced to sell a "pure" persona in a more subtle manner, sometimes into their mid 20s if not more. Like, wine is now ok, and showing abs is also ok, and doing R rated films as well, but the "virginial" vibes are still taken advantage off.
incredible how little your interests (and the subjects of your videos) overlap with my interests but still i find myself watching through the whole thing each time. is this what leaving a bubble feels like
by this i mean you make good videos i like them sorry bad with words lmao
I'm in my 20's and i've never rlly understood what purity rings were until now... I never knew they were such a big thing? I guess it makes sense since I'm not american but it's actually shocking it was such a prominent subject. Like why the hell were people so obsessed with the sex life of literal teenagers?? It's so baffling to me
I'm American and had no clue this was going on
I think it's disgusting how the media and society is so fucking obsessed with celebrities' private/personal life. Like it's literally no one's business. I hate talking about my personal life to even my friends so I can't imagine your sexual life being discussed in television, etc. It's actually extremely emotionally traumatizing and exploitative. Society and the media keeps expecting them to have dignity and self respect but at the same time they're the ones stripping away celebrities' dignity by asking them personal and intrusive questions, and most of all sexualizing the shit out of them. I think that's absolutely manipulative, hypocritical and extremely fucked up.
I found my old purity ring 12 years after loosing it and it freaked me out. Felt like the past come back to haunt me.
I hated the whole purity culture thing. When I was in middle school, I was made by my school to attend a talk that used the whole chewed gum analogy. You wouldn't want to chew someone's used gum, right? But we're human beings, not gum. When I have children, I'm pulling them out of school on the days these talks are being given and having my own comprehensive talks with them. My partner is studying to be a child psychologist, so hopefully he'll learn some evidence-based methods for us to use during his studies. I don't EVER want my children to feel like they'd be damaged goods if they lost their virginity or were sexually assaulted before marriage.
I am from Germany and I do remember reading about celebrities wearing purity rings in teen magazines. And it wasn't a big deal here. So weird because the next pages would have been about questions about sexuality and contraception. 😅 Purity was never a thing in my teenage years and also not for the generation of my Mom (born '64)
true. However I hated that in Germany the downsides of having s3ggs in your teenage years were never really discussed. Our teachers, parents, media, other adults always encouraged everyone to do the deed and I feel let down. You should teach kids about s3ggs and contraception etc. but you should also tell them that having many different partners will diminish your value and wreck your psyche.
@@wolfsmaid6815 No it doesn't? People's value isn't tied to how much s*x they have, we aren't objects that a price can be put on. In fact a study in England during 2017 showed that people were more inclined to date others who have already had sex compared to virgins (doesn't mean the weren't willing, just that they were less interested).
Take in mind that there were 187 participants and this is a country Western Europe, so other cultures might view this differently.
I found this in the Psychology Today page, I could send the links to anyone who wants to, but I don't know if RUclips might take down the comment because of it.
And when in comes to the psyche that more complicated. You can't just say "oh this person has a lot of partners so they have/will have psychological problems" because there are a lot of factors.
In 2013 a study made to find a posible link between the amount of sexual partners and the presence of mental health problems such as depression, substance abuse and anxiety resulted in a connection between said substance abuse and the amount of s*xual partners, but not because the quantity of s*xual activity.
It was because depression, anxiety and different forms of antisocial behaviour caused the substance abuse, which caused a high number of sexual partners.
(Another study in 2018 had a similar result).
So high amount of partners is not going to necessarily ruins you psyche, more like the other way around. An exception would be that certain numbers of people are affected by the breakups and the amount of casual s*x, since they view it as impersonal, but that's not necessarily a given, and it depends more on the individual, some might enjoy it, others not.
But all this isn't definitive since studies tends to be all over the place. And the are also other causes related to mental health like stability in the family, being a victim of sexual abuse, age where they start or the presence of certain hormones like testosterone. But then again these *cause* promiscuity, not the other way around.
Other problems are more associated with physical health, but can be evaded by a proper sex education, which we both seem to agree on that it's necessary.
My sources come from the Men's Journal and Medical News Today. As I said I can send the links if desired but I don't want my comment to be deleted.
One detail I'd like to add is the idea that German tweens and teens start s*xual intercourse really early in their life. And while the newspaper spiegel confirms that it's true that German teenagers do start younger than the rest of their European counterparts (the average age being 16,2 years), only 6-7% actually start having s*x at 14 or younger, and even though there is a tendency where the younger someone starts the more promiscuous they can be, there isn't an actual explanation.
But maybe you where raised in a neighborhood where relations started a lot younger or you're from a different generation. I'm not German myself so I wouldn't like to assume I know what's going on over there.
Once again excuse me for my absence of links, I've told the names of the pages where I have looked, and the * in some words so the comment doesn't get deleted because RUclips apparently has a hobby doing that.
@@dantemaquiavelli9039 Yeah, I know I used to provide links to studies as well but it was never worth the effort since the comment immediately got bänned (to prevent spam i think).
Also I want to make it clear that I am aware of the correlation =/= causation problem going on here, and maybe I should have stated that earlier, sorry if I was misleading. I fully understand that a high body count does not lead to substance abuse, but they are more often both symptoms of the same psychological problems.
However this does give you a hint when looking for a partner that the person exhibiting those behaviours is more likely to have unresolved trauma than someone who doesn´t.
What I meant by "ruining your psyche" was more referring to the ability to pairbond, which is severely impaired by promiscuity. (i.e. Bosch, Young on the "National Library of Medicine")
True, I am not claiming that what I witnessed was representative of the entire country. I was a teen between 2008-2016, so not so far removed temporally in quite a rich part of Germany.
Just from my personal experience with the school curriculum, the media (teen magazines, shows etc.) and friends I would have wished that people talked more about the possible implications of promiscuity at a young age than just "as long as you use a condom, everything is fine".
i went to a Catholic school from 1st to 9th grade and honestly, sex ed wasn't that bad. like, it wasn't very complete, but they didn't teach us only abstinence (we learnt contraceptive methods, STIs and there was a whole chapter on the biology book about teenage pregnancy) and at least we learnt about the reproductive system. so when i hear people talking about their own sex ed experiences, it honestly shocks me so much. to be fair, I'm not American, so maybe it's just my country that did a little better in this aspect
I’m American in a public school and I feel like I have had the same experience!
RIAA introduced the Parental Advisory label in the US in 1985. It was redesigned in 1996 to specify "explicit content," but that was the third version. The second version (from 1990-96) was similar in design but specified "explicit lyrics."
the jonas brothers' definitely got more attention for their rings cause girls are already expected to stay "pure" and nonsexual (unless it's other ppl sexualizing them, they can't sexualize themselves) but if a guy has sex before marriage it's like "oh boys have urges/can't control themselves." "losing" ur virginity isn't treated as big of a deal for boys vs girls. when a girl loses her virginity before marriage ppl act like she has ruined her life
What a strange (and sometimes disgusting) era, thanks for covering it 💚
My mother took me on a three day weekend trip where I was forced to listen to a seven (7) dvd course on abstinence and purity and was made to sign a contact to god at the end pledging my promise to be pure. Got the ring and everything. I still didn’t wait until marriage and I’m gay but dear god you can’t say my mom didn’t try lol
3:41 “i guess you’ll just hav e to be prepared to die” THAT IS SO UNHINGED I CANT 😭
Yes, this was a really dark time. It was really degrading. Women were treated like objects of low intrinsic value where sex was the only thing that gave girls value. I was never allowed to have a purity ring because my family saw it as sex jewelry. They didn’t want people thinking about me in that way. That doesn’t mean that they didn’t believe in every bit of this. It was so humiliating to have people just come up to you and ask incredibly invasive questions, or make disgusting assumptions. I cannot believe the adults at the time thought this was okay. The true irony in all of this, none of the adults who were so obsessed with this were virgins when they married. Then there were the couples who got married so young, and then ended up divorced, and trying to rebuild their lives before turning 30. What is the point of waiting until marriage if you end up traumatized, degraded, and divorced at an early age. I still don’t understand how all of this happened, and why anyone would still think it is okay.
I vaguely remember this but I was also too young to really understand what was happening. Sort of wild since Disney Channel stars cater towards children young enough to not even know what sex was yet. I thought the rings were just them pledging their loyalty to whoever they were dating. It's disturbing how big of a hold Disney had on their teen actors. Nowadays I've heard they treat them much better, but still....
As a teenager I was unfortunately in an abstinence only sex Ed class. At the end of the class everyone was given “abstinence bracelets” which were just rubber bracelets that said “It will all be worth the wait” on them and basically acted as modern purity rings
It makes me mad that people would push this into culture. It feels like these nutjobs never get punished and it feels awful.
I really wish somebody pointed out to the media how gross it is to talk about minors sex live. I wish Britnry's patents came out during that interview and popped off on that interviewer saying "would you walk up to a random kid her age and ask that question?? no?? you wouldn't??? then why are you asking my daughter??? that is disgusting. The stuff we have public is the stuff we have pubic and you need to respect that. Everything else is off limits." because she literally IS A CHILD. an adult should never ever ever think about a minor having sex ever. all those people give me the ick
Even a PLL book had a purity ring subplot
i'm so glad my middle school health teacher was more upfront, telling us that technically we're supposed to preach abstinence only but also telling us about methods of contraception. The morning after pill also had information censored in teaching materials, but he still told us about what it was anyways. purity culture is what causes more teen pregnancies.
We had serious abstinence training in my middle/high school, and even my teacher didn’t take it seriously, he smirked the entire time and let us know he didn’t agree, it was just the ciriculum
Ooo a 24 year old sophisticated queen
If you want another weird purity culture phenomena look up passport for purity it’s pretty similar just a little extra weird
I remember reading J-14 magazine when instagram wasn't a thing yet, and seeing all those "So-And-So on Their Purity Ring!" articles. It was so strange, looking back. I remember thinking (thanks to parasocial relationships) "oh-- they have a purity ring, so if I ever got a chance to meet them, we could definitely date because my christian parents would approve of them!" Such a strange publicity tactic. The purity culture is still, unfortunately, strong though-- my nieces got their purity rings a few years ago in their church, and their father, his hands shaking, put the rings on their fingers. I can't help but wonder if he felt strange or even disgusted at himself during that farcical ceremony that felt too much like he was marrying his own daughters. I can't believe all those adults didn't realize how much they were sexualizing these kids and teenagers who were just trying to grow up as normal as possible under the lens of the world.
3:41 I almost spit out my water at the gym omg
THAT WAS HILARIOUS 🤣🤣🤣
I was about 4 years ahead of all this stuff, and purity rings were just really coming out my last couple years of high school, and I always thought forcing girls and young women, and young men to a point, to publicly display their purity was creepy and gross. The adults and religious leaders so interested in purity always felt like they were labeling their prey to an extent.
I have meet Jordan sparks many times as a massage Therapist in an airport. I am so surprised she said that. She was always insanely nice, & had different family members with her that she took on trips with her.
I think it's because she was literally a stupid teen
Right?? I went to the same elementary and high school as her and she was always the sweetest ever! I sincerely hope that she was telling the truth about it being a split second angry reaction 😭
This is a super important topic especially right now. Sex education in the US is crazy, it is still abstinence only is so many states and also a lot of states don’t require medically accurate information in their sex Ed classes. It is crazy.
I remember that episode of South Park with Disney channel and purity rings and this was when I was getting too old for the Disney channel.
People just don’t know how to leave afab people alone. Everything’s always our fault and nobody thinks we should have autonomy.
not even five minutes in and being hit with “they call them condoms because it’s a con job and they’re dumb” is taking me out
I just came across your channel via the Demi videos. I feel like you are going to blow up. The level of research you put in, and the eloquent way you lay the information out in these deep dive videos is perfect. Keep it up! ♥️
Aww I hope you had a good birthday! I’ll be 24 in 2 weeks and I also had the same thought of now being in my mid twenties 🥲
Hi there! I grew up in SC where abstinence only is HEAVILY taught (on the one day of the school year we even had sex ed). It’s such a terrible system and obviously doesn’t work if you look at teen pregnancy stats comparing states that actually have decent sex ed classes. One of the biggest shocks to me when I lost my virginity is how to put on condoms. I had no clue you should leave a little gap at the top but thankfully, my boyfriend was from CT and had good classes that taught these kinds of things. Knowing this alone would cause SO many less pregnancies yet no one talks about it. Adding to this, even with the Obama 2015 thing, I still was taught abstinence only… hmm.
On another note, I had this set of twins as friends in middle school who were incredibly religious, while I was in my “is god even real” phase. One day they came up to me (in 2012) and my friends and asked us to come to this purity ring event. I didn’t know what this was but the rings were pretty so I said maybe lmao. They asked us everyday for a week if any of us wanted to go but none of us even did. It was weird cult-y behavior for sure. Also, I think it cost like $60 to get the ring, and I was not about to ask my parents for that.
Really? Russell Brand thought he was in the position to make fun of anyone with THAT HAIR!?
Oh I can’t wait for this. Also welcome to 24! When my friend said “you’re in your mid 20s now” i had an identity crisis for like a week straight
when i was in high school (2015) my health teacher would repeat "abstinence is the only 100% form of birth control" several times each class like a robot. aside from that he was very openminded and went above and beyond to make sure the class was educational and even fun. so it seemed like they forced him to say it as part of the curriculum. and this was at a public school in massachusetts😐 like what the actual fuck is wrong with this country, even in places where nobody besides the nuns at the catholic school cares about that shit it's shoved down our throats.
I mean it’s true, but I hope he mentioned other forms of birth control are still like 99% as good?
it seems important in the light of current debates though. (specifically the abortion issue) - people seem to have forgotten that having s3ggs can lead to pregnancy, no matter how careful you are.
@@wolfsmaid6815 i promise you no one has forgotten that basic fact of life. ppl just wanna be free to have sex AND have agency over their body/life at the same time. which is basic human rights
@@JasminMiettunen yeah he did, we actually had great sex ed but him only repeating the abstinence part irked me even at the time. it was so out of place in a class where we literally did a relay race to practice applying condoms with the lights off and kenny g playing for accuracy. like all that and then "abstinence is the only 100% form of birth control" for the 8th time
@@melonramune Nobody is forcing anyone to be pregnant, you are free to do what you want. If you want to have sex, then that is your risk to take and your consequences to bear.
However let´s not get into this, accountability is not something commonly found in our current zeitgeist.
the last vid you uploaded i was 23 and now i'm 24 and thinking how i'm in my mid twenties too 😭
I’m happy that, while my mom is deeply religious, she gave me the talk normally. I learned about contraceptive. I never had to do the purity ring thing
I just want to say I saw an abstinence only sex ed lesson once, and it was really abelist. The teacher told multiple classes that having a baby as a teenager can lead to the baby having learning disabilities. At a school for kids with learning disabilities.
One kid asked "My mom had me at 40, why do I have autism?" which was a FANTASTIC question considering the information he was told.
Giving a purity ring to a TWELVE YO ?! Father to daughter ?! WTFFFF disgustinggggg
i remember seeing celebrities with purity rings in teen mags. kind of wild how i didn't think it was weird even though they weren't popular in my country
Ah, I remember reading the Purity Myth in high school. One of the many things that got me labeled as what scientists call a "feminist killjoy". But now all the ideals I had as a teenager are mainstream today so now I'm just waiting for society to catch up with my Marxism.
Hell yes same
Nothing says "feminist killjoy" like wanting people to have sex.
@@elijahfordsidioticvarietys8770 I mean wanting people to have fun while having sex is the complete opposite of being a killjoy IMO. Unless the joy they are killing is the joy of controlling sexuality.
Jordan Spark!!!!😲 I did not know she said that.
It's always so saddening to me to hear about these experiences. Growing up AFAB and generally disinterested in sex, I don't really recall everything that we were told during sex ed (in the UK) but I DO recall the emphasis was on safety, rather than abstinence. Couldn't tell you if I just went to schools with particularly good programmes mind - the yr4 and yr6 ones were mostly just watching a video, and the stuff beyond that was very teacher driven so it might have even varied by classroom.
It was so weird when media acted like it was normal to discuss teenagers sexual life like that, i was a tween/teen at the time and my family was really conservative so i sis all the wrong things cuz i thought sex was bad and a sin, I hated my self for years and after breaking up with the guy i had sleept with I spend 5 years in abstinence. I used to think "I'm a slut, Taylor Swift would never do this" smh
you always cover such interesting topics !! also, happy birthday ! rly feeling the existential dread energy too bc I turn 25 later this month lmaooooo
The comment about how several bad things started with Regan... god, that's such a hard fact. I used to think maybe we just have to wait until the Regan nuts kick the bucket to finally have a normal, progressive country. But then, 2016 happened 🙃 and that family is never going to go away or be held responsible for the things they've done. And their fan club is probably going to be around for at least a generation, so 🤷♂️ we fucked, lmao.
i love your videos you’re so smart and insightful with such niche topics. so comforting
The media was so disgusting, and so problematic talking to famous women in those times.
I’m so glad you brought this topic up! I was a teenager & was witnessing this in real time. I went to a seminar with my 8th grade class in 2009 which taught us that we should be abstinent & there was an “i’m worth waiting for” campaign.
This might be one of your best videos with some awesome banger points. I love your videos, please continue 💙
I grew up in America in the 90s-00s and I remember my 8th grade health teacher being LIVID about abstinence only sex ed. And I was def the target demographic for Britney and the marketing and styling making me incredibly uncomfortable. I didn't have the societal framework or worldly experience to articulate it at the time but I found it fuckin gross, even when I didn't really understand what it was that made me so uncomfortable.