Coping with Criticism and Critical People

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  • Опубликовано: 27 ноя 2024

Комментарии • 37

  • @ThousandMask
    @ThousandMask 9 месяцев назад +5

    "Thank you for your feedback" is always a good one for me.
    Some people have valuable clumsy ways to say things but have their point, some are incapable of thinking outside of themselves and give bad advices, some people learned bad habits, some people are so insecure they need to tear you down, some people want to control and abuse you.
    Either way, we should get back to ourselves and figured out if it’s actually a useful criticism or not.
    This person could be either useful or toxic . At the end of the day only us decide what to do and react.
    Another interesting one I think is the sometimes the type that criticize a lot and more egocentric than conscientious, actually unconsciously reveal something about themselves through their accusations, very interesting phenomena

    • @PoisonelleMisty4311
      @PoisonelleMisty4311 8 месяцев назад +1

      There are a variety of reasons that can lead someone to become a fault-finder. It could be due to a lack of self-confidence, feelings of insecurity, past experiences of criticism or judgment, fear of failure, or a desire for control. In recent years, the increase in critical people may be attributed to factors such as social media, comparison culture, and a focus on perfectionism.
      Critical people may have had upbringing experiences that emphasize high standards, perfectionism, or a focus on external validation. They may have grown up in an environment where criticism was common and accepted as a means of improving oneself.
      The weakness of a critical person is that they often struggle with forming genuine connections with others, as their constant focus on faults and shortcomings can create tension and distance in relationships. They may also find it difficult to accept feedback or criticism themselves, as they are often quick to point out flaws in others but may struggle to see their own.
      Critical people often fear failure, rejection, or not meeting their own high standards. They may also fear vulnerability or being judged by others, which can perpetuate their critical behavior as a means of protecting themselves. Ultimately, their fear can lead to a cycle of negativity and judgment that can be damaging to both themselves and those around them.

  • @FGC-ku4ez
    @FGC-ku4ez Год назад +7

    I always start by analyzing if there's some truth to what's being said, but I have had people who would just criticize inexcusably as soon as they'd see me for no reason. In front of others, every single time they saw me. I never even had an actual conversation with most because it was just a person in a greater group of friends. Literally just wanted to insult me so she could feel better

  • @Anna.Mason151
    @Anna.Mason151 Год назад +26

    Sometimes its not about wanting approval but just the need to be not the focus of someone else’s constant negative narration.

    • @FGC-ku4ez
      @FGC-ku4ez Год назад +9

      My long life has taught me that the only way to stop that is to avoid those people. They don't change.

    • @NO-cz8rw
      @NO-cz8rw Год назад +7

      100%, this video makes the target responsible

    • @Feber2001
      @Feber2001 Год назад +4

      Which is 100% on them. You're better than their negative perception

    • @tonette1813
      @tonette1813 9 месяцев назад

      Exactly 💯

    • @PoisonelleMisty4311
      @PoisonelleMisty4311 8 месяцев назад +1

      This type of person is typically referred to as a "fault-finder". They may exhibit behaviors of jealousy, insecurity, or a need to feel superior by highlighting others' perceived flaws. They think by brining others flaws they are doing a good job. It is likely that fault-finders act this way as a means of projecting their own insecurities onto others, or to deflect attention away from their own perceived flaws. They may not fully comprehend the impact of their words or actions on others' feelings, or they may simply prioritize their own need for validation or superiority over the well-being of others. It is important to approach fault-finders with compassion and try to understand the root causes of their behavior, while also setting boundaries and standing up for oneself if their actions become harmful or destructive. Ultimately, addressing and confronting fault-finding behavior may help foster a more positive and supportive social environment for everyone involved.

  • @Ruth-vy1qj
    @Ruth-vy1qj Год назад +2

    Excellent video I love the questions. Many are critical so they can control you and (negative) projection.
    I go by my gut feelings, depth of the relationship, see if their some truth to it, how they handle their own affairs, and how they treat people.

  • @a.m.pietroschek1972
    @a.m.pietroschek1972 Год назад +3

    When people are stuck with their parents, then lowering their demands & expectations is part of it. Parental money needed to live above their income is, what most long-adult `kids´ are about. Also: No adult person owes any of us for making extra-dumb mistakes AGAIN!

    • @PoisonelleMisty4311
      @PoisonelleMisty4311 8 месяцев назад +2

      The weakness of a critical person is that they may struggle to see the positive aspects of a situation or person. They may also have difficulty building strong and meaningful relationships due to their constant criticism. Critical people often fear failure or being judged themselves, which may contribute to their need to point out faults in others.

  • @PoisonelleMisty4311
    @PoisonelleMisty4311 8 месяцев назад +1

    Criticism can be challenging to deal with, especially when it comes from critical people who seem to always have something negative to say. However, there are strategies you can use to cope with criticism and navigate interactions with critical individuals:
    1. Stay calm and composed: When facing criticism, it's important to stay calm and composed. Take a deep breath and try to remain level-headed, rather than reacting emotionally.
    2. Consider the source: Consider who is offering the criticism and their intentions. Is the person a credible source of feedback, or are they known for being overly critical and negative? Understanding where the criticism is coming from can help you decide how to respond.
    3. Reflect on the feedback: Take a moment to reflect on the feedback you've received. Is there any validity to the criticism, or is it unfounded? Use this reflection as an opportunity for personal growth and self-improvement.
    4. Set boundaries: If you find yourself consistently dealing with critical people, it may be necessary to set boundaries to protect yourself from their negativity. This could include limiting your interactions with them or setting clear expectations for how you will respond to their criticism.
    5. Practice self-care: Dealing with criticism can take a toll on your mental and emotional well-being. Make sure to practice self-care and engage in activities that help you relax and recharge, such as exercise, meditation, or spending time with loved ones.
    6. Seek support: If you're feeling overwhelmed by criticism, reach out to a trusted friend, family member, or therapist for support. Talking about your feelings and experiences can help you process the criticism and gain a new perspective.
    7. Focus on the positive: While it's important to consider and learn from criticism, don't let it overshadow your accomplishments and strengths. Remember to focus on the positive aspects of yourself and your achievements, and don't let critical people bring you down.

    • @deanmartin2332
      @deanmartin2332 8 месяцев назад +2

      In my experience it’s definitely about control and making you feel inadequate. It’s a form of demoralization. Sure if the criticism is warranted you bet. But constant unwarranted criticism is definitely about control. Especially in an intimate relationship. Men do this to women a lot unfortunately.

    • @PoisonelleMisty4311
      @PoisonelleMisty4311 8 месяцев назад

      @@deanmartin2332 It can also be a way for someone to assert their power and dominance in a relationship. By constantly criticizing and belittling their partner, they are able to make the other person feel dependent on them and less confident in their own abilities. This can make it easier for the person doing the criticizing to manipulate and control their partner.
      Criticism can also stem from insecurities or a lack of self-esteem. By putting their partner down, the person may feel better about themselves or try to shift the focus away from their own shortcomings. In these cases, the criticism is more about the criticizer's own issues than anything their partner is doing wrong.
      Overall, constant criticism in a relationship is unhealthy and damaging. It erodes trust, breeds resentment, and can lead to feelings of inadequacy and low self-worth. It's important to address this behavior early on and seek help if needed to improve communication and build a healthier relationship.

  • @lillianbarker4292
    @lillianbarker4292 6 месяцев назад

    Good advice! Some advice for your presentation: 1. Break the outline up and show one idea at a time while you speak. 2. Give real life examples. Tell stories. 3. Make the video of you larger than the printed word. 4. Use drawings, cartoons or photos. 5. Ask viewers to comment on their experiences.

  • @buddyryeSE
    @buddyryeSE 5 месяцев назад +1

    If I tell my wife “Thanks for the feedback” she’s going to say that I’m insulting her for being so formal in my conversation. I’m at my wits end.
    It’s tough as a man being immasculated. The only way, it seems, is to eliminate the relationship since it’s been decades of control and abuse…

  • @manamic5288
    @manamic5288 4 года назад +2

    Wonderful video

  • @LesleyMason-q2r
    @LesleyMason-q2r 8 месяцев назад

    A neutral response like "Hmm" or "That's one view" followed by a redirect or graceful exit is a strategy I am trying with a chronically critical SIL. Luckily, I never see her one on one. Other more direct strategies have occasionally worked, but now I am more interested in minimizing drama. I don't want to take that garbage home with me. Easier said than done, so following up with some EFT tapping helps, too.

  • @NO-cz8rw
    @NO-cz8rw Год назад +7

    Or ask yourself, why do I need this person in my life? Why does this person feel the need to criticize? Why is this expert not advocating gentle confrontation?

    • @PoisonelleMisty4311
      @PoisonelleMisty4311 8 месяцев назад

      Upbringing can play a significant role in shaping a person to be critical of others. If a person grew up in a critical or judgmental environment, they may adopt those same traits as they get older. They may have been taught to always look for flaws or mistakes in others, leading them to become fault-finders themselves.

    • @NO-cz8rw
      @NO-cz8rw 8 месяцев назад +1

      @@PoisonelleMisty4311 that does not negate the fact that you should pause and ask yourself those questions. As a counselor, rhetorical questions buy you a lot of peace. I don’t need to know someone’s entire childhood on a constant basis. Smile and walk away.

    • @PoisonelleMisty4311
      @PoisonelleMisty4311 8 месяцев назад

      @@NO-cz8rw Life is short, stop overthink everything. People live too much in their head and need to get intouch with their emotions.

    • @NO-cz8rw
      @NO-cz8rw 8 месяцев назад

      @@PoisonelleMisty4311 you contradict yourself. Don’t ruminate in your emotions, the toxic person’s emotions, life experience, it’s all irrelevant! Use simple, clarifying questions for peace. Above all, move on from arguing “at” me in ignorance. I don’t need to know your story to know that you are being toxic.

  • @patrickhanson712
    @patrickhanson712 4 года назад +1

    Thanks!!

  • @vitanilange6926
    @vitanilange6926 4 месяца назад

    It's just if their goal in fact is to bring you down more,or make you feel worse it feels stupid to say "....Your actions make me feel this,and that".......or say "Thank you for caring"....

  • @deanmartin2332
    @deanmartin2332 8 месяцев назад +1

    There’s such thing as criticism with positive reinforcement. Most college classes relating to business and management teach proper criticism. It’s when the criticism becomes harassment when it becomes a problem. I had to recently quit working for someone I considered a friend when it became outright harassment. Nobody should have to tolerate that at work.

    • @PoisonelleMisty4311
      @PoisonelleMisty4311 8 месяцев назад +1

      There can be various reasons that cause someone to become a fault-finder, including experiences in their past that have made them feel the need to constantly criticize others, low self-esteem leading them to try to elevate themselves by putting others down, or a need for control and power in their relationships. Critical people may have increased in recent years due to societal pressures, the rise of social media and online trolling, and the normalization of criticizing others in public forums.
      Critical people may have been raised in environments where they were constantly criticized or held to unrealistic standards, leading them to develop a habit of being critical themselves. They may have also been raised in environments where negative behaviors were rewarded or encouraged.
      The weakness of a critical person is often their inability to see the good in others or situations, which can lead to strained relationships and a negative outlook on life. They may fear being vulnerable or criticized themselves, which is why they may resort to criticizing others as a defense mechanism.
      To make a critical person think twice about their behavior, you could try to engage them in a constructive conversation about the impact of their criticism on others, or gently point out the positive attributes or actions of the person they are criticizing. It's important to approach the situation with empathy and understanding, as criticism often stems from deeper emotional issues that the person may be struggling with. Ultimately, setting boundaries and standing up for yourself may be necessary if the critical behavior continues.

    • @deanmartin2332
      @deanmartin2332 8 месяцев назад +1

      @@PoisonelleMisty4311 Unfortunately I had to stand up for myself which meant quitting my job. I can handle criticism when it’s warranted and have no problem correcting my mistakes. I would have thought he would have come to the realization he was treating me unfairly which I pointed out. But some peoples egos won’t allow them to apologize. I’ve been there myself. It might take me a bit to realize I’m wrong but will eventually apologize. I think men have this problem more than women but not sure. Others just enjoy the drama.

    • @PoisonelleMisty4311
      @PoisonelleMisty4311 8 месяцев назад +1

      @@deanmartin2332 It can be difficult to stand up for yourself in a job setting, especially when dealing with a boss or superior who may not be open to feedback. It's important to prioritize your own well-being and mental health in these situations, even if it means walking away from a job that is no longer a healthy environment for you. It's commendable that you are able to acknowledge and correct your own mistakes, and it's unfortunate that not everyone is able to do the same. Remember that it's okay to advocate for yourself and set boundaries in work situations. It's important to prioritize your own self-respect and not tolerate mistreatment from others.

  • @ammarabatool9910
    @ammarabatool9910 3 года назад +1

    Thanks

  • @scottthomas5819
    @scottthomas5819 3 года назад +1

    excellent

  • @soniczforever5470
    @soniczforever5470 26 дней назад

    I'm anorexic and very badly treated. I'm told to not be in the same room as a very heavy girl not her fault. I'm not doing well. I'm unable to eat and have stomach pains. Ive something wrong with my womb due to stress. We also have limited times to eat. As you can imagine I'm probably losing weight again. Some people don't agree with the unfair rules as im hypotensive and have also suffered nocturnal seizures. Cant have food past 11. I have to request it. I'll break that rule obviously I've also had hypotension and low heartbeat. I am 38 kg but may have lost weight recently. I was threatened with the hospital but at least there id be allowed to eat when I wanted relationship with food is irreparably damaged.

  • @Marshy_Morrow
    @Marshy_Morrow 18 дней назад

    Oh I tried but she got angry and put words in my mouth and stormed off house

  • @georgeschlaline6057
    @georgeschlaline6057 Год назад +1

    Do your job Stop being critical