Yes. And yet you still have to carry on in order to be a good mother to your children... meanwhile they don't understand why you are feeling so sad. So angry. And that is why this abuse feels so evil to me. Then your children start blaming you for being 'crazy' ...just like him. Please be aware that they will absolutely use your own children against you. On top of that you later get blamed for speaking your truth...You can't dare say a bad word about the narcissist parent or you are toast! Major shame and blame!
Mine would sleep like a baby knowing I was hurting or crying after an argument. No joke he would be snoring in seconds. But when I would be going to bed before him or feeling relaxed and just trying to sleep, not really talking much he would suffer Insomnia, be huffing and puffing all night. Crazy.
I hate that. If I sent my ex a text while he slept (cause I stay up late for work) and he woke up and read it, like a text of me expressing the way he hurt me, he didn’t care. He would wake me up by screaming at me and mind u I was the provider and I needed sleep. He would start screaming and I was in such a deep sleep I would wake up like HUH WHAT and then continue to berate and yell at me for hours. It was torture
Same here. After arguments where he’s just raging and puffing so he can have the last word I am just left perplexed realizing what it really is about, and how childish, I don’t even cry about it anymore.
@@sabisweet It sounds wrong, but yeah, it’s one of the steps I think some of us need to get to before we can finally let go and give up trying to “help.” (And I understand the trying to help goal is not healthy, either).
"You're inconveniencing me" (with that snarky/mean/"I know I'm better than you" tone) 100% It's makes you FEEL like you are the one in the wrong (when ur not). That is 100% a narcissist.
How is talking about their crappy behavior helping any of us heal… We just need to break up with these people, divorce them and move on with our lives… Anybody who can just fall asleep like a computer shutting off while you are devastated and crying is not worth having your life tortured over… I’m done with hearing about these people
YEP! The one in my life would keep me sleep deprived. Start fights late at night and get my anxiety through the roof. Broke free 6/2020 after 10 long years of hell.
@@samanthag.6251 yes!!!! As soon as I heard the garage door open dread just over took my body when I was still there. It was everyday something else. The peacefulness I’ve had the last few years has been so amazing.
You will not believe this, I went to bed first before my ex narc. and he woke me up starting a fight about me passing gas whereas I know very well that I did not. Actually I wasn’t fast asleep as yet and I heard him passing gas but kept quiet, thee audacity. I can’t believe I stuck it out for 4 years. God showed me mercy and helped me to leave for good 🛐
ohh I had one like that, gaslit and fought me for 48 hours about a game wire we both knew I didn't have because I saw him take it. After day 2 he came over, threatened me, broke up my crib and left. He called 2 days later sayin he had the wire all along, and knew it. I knew he was a psycho narc then.
I just broke up with my ex narcissist boyfriend 3 weeks ago,? I didn't realize he's a narcissist until recently, I broke up with him 3 weeks ago, because I found out that he's cheating on me with his ex girlfriend for the entire time we've dating for 14 years.. I been living in a nightmare for years, am I making the right decision?.. any advice? .thanks
@@sreyen1065 Honey, you have been “dating” for 14 years and he’s been cheating that entire time, of course you’re doing the right thing. Keep your distance from him, cause he will try to get you back, try to establish a support system with people you can trust. If it’s within your means go to therapy, dealing with a narcissist will scar you for life, I am sorry you had to go through that I hope you’re able to get all the help and healing you need. Good luck!💕
@Ana Hí thanks so much for reply and advise, yes you're right, and that 14 years of him cheating is with the same girl, and they will continue, they will never leave each other, so far he hasn't try to contact me yet, but I will keep my distance, I will never take him back, he hurts me so deeply, I have a nightmare some night.. I even drink sometimes to sleep. But thanks for listening.
@@sreyen1065 Be thankful that you’re out of that trap, now run and never look back. Start focusing on your well being. Find clean ways to find yourself at peace, maybe, music, a positive podcast, learning a new skill, meditation, whatever grounds you, alcohol will do more harm than good. Stay strong. I hope you find your way, take care, dear.💕
@Ana Hí thanks so much, I pray God every day to give me strength to move on and heal.. you give good advice.. take care of yourself too.. good luck with everything you do.
How I know I’m definitely not a narcissist!! I have had those thoughts before but almost instantly I have felt restless, ashamed & guilty.. good to know I’m not a narcissist AKA cold hearted
When you are in a relationship or married to someone, you sacrifice for them not to the point of losing yourself, but definitely to the point where sometimes their needs should come before yours. If you can't sacrifice for anyone you love, be by yourself, but narcissists are so pathetic that they say they don't care abt your emotions yet need you around to validate their all the time.
After they have harrassed and kept you up all night trying to fight. This is some crazy stuff can’t believe I went through this for 4 years. After that marriage was over I was so mentally and physically exhausted I would sleep for hours and hours and still not feel rested. It took me over 2 years to get myself back on track.
We need to consider context here because sometimes it’s the victim who falls asleep from exhaustion. The narc in my life would often rage or meltdown for 6+ hours, well into the next day, especially when I had work, school and/or something important I had to be up early for. I would beg him to let me sleep, and if he was stable enough not to prevent me from leaving, I would sleep in my car some nights just to get some peace. He was also an insomniac who played video games loudly at all hours of the day and night, and was just generally a very chaotic person. It became so routine for me that I became numb to his constant victimhood and stopped caring about his meltdowns because I realized (a) he lied a lot, (b) he never considered my feelings when he was destroying my property, stealing money from me, putting his hands on me, etc., and (c) I was losing my sanity (and hair) always trying not to set him off when literally everything I or anyone did would set him off anyway. So, yes, I would fall asleep sometimes🤷♀️ I used to feel bad about it, but the human body can only withstand so much stress.
They definitely use sleep deprivation. I didn't have your experience but he definitely kept me up all hours for different reasons. Including when we had a newborn and an older child. I still had to take care of them while also catering to him. It's an actual form of torture.
@Kira de La Rochefoucauld how about boy insulting someone in their situation. You don't know what happened or what she was going through. It's actually very rough.
Then douse him with ice water. Stand up for yourself and put the fear of God in him. And coat the shower with baby oil right before he gets in. Stop allowing yourself to be bullied and FIGHT BACK!
@@asiahenry7798 lollll true but some of them are too unstable to get back on. could be risky so best to heal and research secretly until she gets the strength to leave safely.
I had a narcissist ruin my birthday, call it a night early, then ignore me when i tried to discuss, he ignored me and pretended to be asleep, then tried to come onto me. I shut that shit down quick... and he stayed pissed. Come to find out he was also screwing at least two other girls, like a week later.
hurt me to hear him say this but it's such the truth he gave me confirmation/ clarification of there actions thought process is crazy they literally have no remorse!
Sometimes the narcissist wants to argue so much that eventually you just fall asleep because you can’t take it anymore. I would literally ask them if I could talk to them about this later when we’ve both calmed down and they always kept going till I couldn’t stay awake physically anymore
Mine would fall a asleep mid argument. He would leave the house, or room for dramatic effect, not carrying that I was an emotional mess and still had to take care of the kids and chores. Then I would mentally gaslighting myself while “giving him space” for two hours to where I would give him an apology just to knock on the door, just to find him sleeping
@@frankgeez6584 no he doesn't think nothing is wrong with him you should listen to this guy's channel he tell you what you need to know I just discovered this about him about a year ago
When I tell you my child father dose exactly THIS! it’s when he finally gets the reaction he wants me to yell or scream him picking fights and doesn’t stop even when there is no response it’s when I gave into the crap and couldn’t take it no more is when he calmed down and went to sleep closed the door snoring and all all while I’m upset and crying yelling etc. I’ve learned now not to give into the crap ⚠️⚠️⚠️ talk about triggering 😢
So painful it's the one of the worst feelings of pain when your crying and they are falling asleep I am so glad I don't have 2 experience that anymore. Thank u for sharing.
It's a transference of spirits . I would cry live next to him at while he would sleep like a baby. Got up to sleep on the floor and he couldn't rest after that but I felt the whole lot better just getting away from his demons. He got up and found me on the floor instead you know I can't sleep unless you're in the bed!
Thank you for answering this forever lasting question of mine. Why my ex always always always have is at peace sleeping to prepare for work after ripping my heart into pieces.
YOU ARE SOOOOO RIGHT MY HUSBAND IS IN HOSPICE AND STILL KEEPING CRAP GOING ON DEATHS DOORS 🚪 I CAN'T BELIEVE WHAT IS GOING ON 😢 IN MY FAMILY BECAUSE OF HIS AWFUL LIES AND BULL. HE LIVES TO INFLICT PAIN ON ME. I HAD TO TELL MY CLOSE RELATIVES. THANK YOU FOR YOUR INFORMATION BLESS YOU 🙌 🙏
My soon to be ex husband put a gun to my head with our son who was about a year and a half old at the time. I'd never heard screams like that in my life nor have I ever screamed so loud in horror myself. He made me call into work and he fell asleep while I was on the phone with my work. After that horrific 6 years of my life, I'm a different person. I will never be the same. I struggle still to this day with things and I left 5 years ago. You're right. It's all about them. Nothing or no one matters to them other than themselves.
I felt it was the most hateful thing to see them sleep like a baby after being so mean and nasty it’s like how could you sleep so deeply knowing what you just did😮 you’re absolutely heartless
Witnessed this many times...it only adds to the trauma you are already experiencing and nobody that you try to explain this to 'understands'. This is what makes you think that maybe it's 'you' who has a problem... Completely destructive.
My ex made up this dumb excuse to break up with me (he wanted to be single and have multiple women). I started crying and he had the blankest stare, then i said "ok I tried, I really wanted us to work" he then said "I'm just so use to people leaving me and I m scared". Anytime I would react he got me. It was draining. My ex fell asleep multiple times after fights and tears.
they really don't have to tell you they don't care because their actions say it all...they care when your going to walk out the door before they are ready for you to go
Mine would lie to me...I'd catch them...they'd get super pissed that I caught them...beat me up physically because I "won't shut the fuck up" about what they did...so now I'm hurt from the lie, hurt from the abuse I got for confronting the lie and devastated crying and scared and they need to go to sleep because exactly that..."they need sleep because they work early".....and if I didn't let it go....it led to far worse physical abuse. So I just usually let it go.
Him explaining that just truelly hurt me. Because it makes so much sense but at the same time he says "I go to work for you, so I go to sleep because I have to care for you". The explanation is so opposite I feel my heart sink
My Narc is like that. He reminds me how inconvenienced he is by my need to talk about our problems because he has work in the morning and needs his sleep. He literally does not care about my tears. It annoys him more than anything. The only time he feels is when it’s going to affect him.
Yup, mine creates the problems, doesn't care about me, respect me enough to not lie when I catch him, then after we fight and he tells me I need to go, he's either easily falling asleep or playing video games.
Yes. It's happened one too many times to count. I guess this is it for us. I can't take the lies, no communication, no transparency, inconsistency and so much more. He's losing a great, strong, courageous, intelligent, loyal, passionate and spiritual woman. He's never met anyone spiritually (kundalini) awakened yet... so this opportunity of our union will pass him by and ohhhhhh boy is he gonna regret losing such a powerful woman.
Wow! This is really a thing!!! This happens every time! He doesn’t care AT ALL, he will rage and then shut me down with the silent treatment after he blames me and puts me down in every possible way. Then he is just relaxing watching TV and then he will make himself something to eat, maybe even fit in a workout while he’s at it, then go to sleep like nothing happened. Do this for 17 years and wonder why the wife resents and feels bitter and some in the marriage. He acts like he doesn’t understand why I’m so upset. I’m not married to a person at this point.
It used to take her long to sleep everyday. But the day we have an argument and I wait for her to be available so that we can things out, which happens to be when she comes in the bed. She sleeps while I'm talking and says that I only want to talk when she wants to sleep. And that day, she sleeps immediately.
I'm sorry to hear that. A little advice from a narcissist trying to be better, don't wait for her to be available. She's counting on you to continue to bend over backwards for her so she can keep enjoying her day while you're upset. If she hurts you, address it then so she can't just go to sleep. If she doesn't care, it's time to put together an exit plan.
Thanks for your kind words and advice. She divorced me which was finalised a month ago. Only learnt that she might be a narcissist a few days ago and now I am just researching. She fits some aspects but not consistently. So I dont know. But I appreciate the message. One consistent messsge that comes across is that one is lucky if they discard you and thankfully there are no kids involved. But it still hurts :(
All the hours i was denied sleep, then he would record my incoherent responses to his conversation. I was so sleep deprived I looked and sounded like a psych patient! After recording me, and playing it for who I now suspect was his "friend" then, he would be asleep within 2 mins of laying down.
He dumped me but still wanted to live together and share the bed. I did that for one week and it was hell. For a week I couldn't sleep and I couldn't eat. I was on eeping tablets and still couldn't sleep. I lost so much weight. And he would just go to sleep like it was normal and get up and shower and leave for work. And sing in the shower.
That’s so confusing, but thinking that they can be so emotionally detached, they can do it with no real realization that they said they don’t want to be with you.
I never thought about this before, my ex husband, would go party after we got into a fight and then wouldn’t come home at all that night. My husband now, he can’t sleep if we get into an argument like at all. We rarely argue, but when we do neither of us can sleep until it’s resolved.
I can't believe people are like this. But, yes they are people who are out there who are like this, I have an old friend who has narcissistic traits. She has this if it doesn't affect me, I don't care mentally and I always found it odd.
I remember I was triggered really badly and cried a lot, like I was sobbing a lot and when my ex and I were together he was so annoyed. He said the sound of me crying was annoying and that he had to get to sleep for work tomorrow morning. He said he’s going off to sleep at his mums a few houses down because he can’t stand my crying. Didn’t try to comfort or understand why I was. I went outside and eventually he came out too and started making fun of my disabilities, calling me lazy for not working full time, calling me privileged etc. He knew these things were hurtful and it was almost like he was saying it to make me more upset, but didn’t he just want to sleep? It was all round just a traumatising experience. All I needed was a hug. :( and it is hard not to reach out to him now I left but I have to keep reminding myself that he’s just emotionally unavailable. It is so hard that he was loving when it was convenient for him and when it wasn’t, it was like he didn’t care.
Interesting., while he’s talking the Narc listening shows typical eye movement of something else is more important moments & he is a self aware Narc but still shows typical traits. Keep open & aware and stay educated so you just fine normal types to be involved with. Love & peace people 👍🏼
Was able to fall asleep....however if I fell asleep... I'd get woken up with rage and insults ... so I never went back to sleep again 😔 and still randomly waking up wait for the explosion of anger again 😢
Divorce is never the way out, My wife and I have been having issues before I sort out help from a spiritual adviser,i wasnt going to let my marriage of 18years crash
Your emotions are a nuisance, boring, inconsequential and yes, an inconvenience, to the narcissist. The sooner you innerstand this, the sooner you heal. Their emotional ineptitude has nothing to do with you, so don’t make yourself a part of it! Trying to get them to be honest and accountable in any way, is like poking a rattle snake. They simply cannot and will not do it. And we all know, it’s one in a million narcissists that will even attempt any self correcting.
Its the waking up the next day and ignoring you the whole day, then coming home and acting like nothing happened.
OMG yes! Silent treatments.
Definitely this . Then acting like nothing happened and treating you like you're the problem after they just wrecked havoc o. You mentally
💯
Yes. And yet you still have to carry on in order to be a good mother to your children... meanwhile they don't understand why you are feeling so sad. So angry. And that is why this abuse feels so evil to me. Then your children start blaming you for being 'crazy' ...just like him. Please be aware that they will absolutely use your own children against you. On top of that you later get blamed for speaking your truth...You can't dare say a bad word about the narcissist parent or you are toast! Major shame and blame!
Yeah true.
Mine would sleep like a baby knowing I was hurting or crying after an argument. No joke he would be snoring in seconds.
But when I would be going to bed before him or feeling relaxed and just trying to sleep, not really talking much he would suffer Insomnia, be huffing and puffing all night. Crazy.
same here like how can someone do such a thing???????
Same here. I’ve had enough.
Evil creature, my ex did all this
I hate that. If I sent my ex a text while he slept (cause I stay up late for work) and he woke up and read it, like a text of me expressing the way he hurt me, he didn’t care. He would wake me up by screaming at me and mind u I was the provider and I needed sleep. He would start screaming and I was in such a deep sleep I would wake up like HUH WHAT and then continue to berate and yell at me for hours. It was torture
You left them right?? You’re safe?
I don't even get hurt by this anymore.. I just roll my eyes and enjoy the space.
Same here. After arguments where he’s just raging and puffing so he can have the last word I am just left perplexed realizing what it really is about, and how childish, I don’t even cry about it anymore.
So you’re emotionally dead …Horray?
@@sabisweet It sounds wrong, but yeah, it’s one of the steps I think some of us need to get to before we can finally let go and give up trying to “help.” (And I understand the trying to help goal is not healthy, either).
"You're inconveniencing me" (with that snarky/mean/"I know I'm better than you" tone)
100%
It's makes you FEEL like you are the one in the wrong (when ur not).
That is 100% a narcissist.
I used to cry myself to sleep EVERY NIGHT for months and he just didn’t care. 😢
And then acts the next day like nothing happened
Yup 🤦🏻♀️🎯💯👍🏼
How is talking about their crappy behavior helping any of us heal… We just need to break up with these people, divorce them and move on with our lives… Anybody who can just fall asleep like a computer shutting off while you are devastated and crying is not worth having your life tortured over… I’m done with hearing about these people
YEP! The one in my life would keep me sleep deprived. Start fights late at night and get my anxiety through the roof.
Broke free 6/2020 after 10 long years of hell.
🙏🏽🙏🏽
Proud of you Sarah ❤🙏🏾🦋🙌🏾
I went through that as well. Never any peace
@@samanthag.6251 yes!!!! As soon as I heard the garage door open dread just over took my body when I was still there. It was everyday something else.
The peacefulness I’ve had the last few years has been so amazing.
I remember being in the bathroom and my boyfriend at the time tried to block me in the bathroom. Total crazy person.
You will not believe this, I went to bed first before my ex narc. and he woke me up starting a fight about me passing gas whereas I know very well that I did not. Actually I wasn’t fast asleep as yet and I heard him passing gas but kept quiet, thee audacity. I can’t believe I stuck it out for 4 years. God showed me mercy and helped me to leave for good 🛐
ohh I had one like that, gaslit and fought me for 48 hours about a game wire we both knew I didn't have because I saw him take it. After day 2 he came over, threatened me, broke up my crib and left. He called 2 days later sayin he had the wire all along, and knew it. I knew he was a psycho narc then.
Yep, my emotions were always an inconvenience. Totally only care about themselves. 100%
My ex would go to bed every night before or at 8pm... We would never talk about anything....ever. I almost permanently lived in the silent treatment
Also, after the pleasure rush of abusing, brain shuts down. It’s very common the abuser relaxes and/or sleeps it off.
YES
Not “my” narcissist! I’ve been free for 4 years now and counting! 🥳
I just broke up with my ex narcissist boyfriend 3 weeks ago,? I didn't realize he's a narcissist until recently, I broke up with him 3 weeks ago, because I found out that he's cheating on me with his ex girlfriend for the entire time we've dating for 14 years.. I been living in a nightmare for years, am I making the right decision?.. any advice? .thanks
@@sreyen1065
Honey, you have been “dating” for 14 years and he’s been cheating that entire time, of course you’re doing the right thing.
Keep your distance from him, cause he will try to get you back, try to establish a support system with people you can trust. If it’s within your means go to therapy, dealing with a narcissist will scar you for life, I am sorry you had to go through that I hope you’re able to get all the help and healing you need. Good luck!💕
@Ana Hí thanks so much for reply and advise, yes you're right, and that 14 years of him cheating is with the same girl, and they will continue, they will never leave each other, so far he hasn't try to contact me yet, but I will keep my distance, I will never take him back, he hurts me so deeply, I have a nightmare some night.. I even drink sometimes to sleep. But thanks for listening.
@@sreyen1065
Be thankful that you’re out of that trap, now run and never look back. Start focusing on your well being. Find clean ways to find yourself at peace, maybe, music, a positive podcast, learning a new skill, meditation, whatever grounds you, alcohol will do more harm than good.
Stay strong. I hope you find your way, take care, dear.💕
@Ana Hí thanks so much, I pray God every day to give me strength to move on and heal.. you give good advice.. take care of yourself too.. good luck with everything you do.
How I know I’m definitely not a narcissist!! I have had those thoughts before but almost instantly I have felt restless, ashamed & guilty.. good to know I’m not a narcissist AKA cold hearted
I went through this he'd fake sleep too & never fix anything between us
So frustrating/maddening.
When you are in a relationship or married to someone, you sacrifice for them not to the point of losing yourself, but definitely to the point where sometimes their needs should come before yours. If you can't sacrifice for anyone you love, be by yourself, but narcissists are so pathetic that they say they don't care abt your emotions yet need you around to validate their all the time.
After they have harrassed and kept you up all night trying to fight. This is some crazy stuff can’t believe I went through this for 4 years. After that marriage was over I was so mentally and physically exhausted I would sleep for hours and hours and still not feel rested. It took me over 2 years to get myself back on track.
Very true . During a fight narc would care about having last word and sleeping right away leaving their partner hanging
We need to consider context here because sometimes it’s the victim who falls asleep from exhaustion. The narc in my life would often rage or meltdown for 6+ hours, well into the next day, especially when I had work, school and/or something important I had to be up early for. I would beg him to let me sleep, and if he was stable enough not to prevent me from leaving, I would sleep in my car some nights just to get some peace. He was also an insomniac who played video games loudly at all hours of the day and night, and was just generally a very chaotic person. It became so routine for me that I became numb to his constant victimhood and stopped caring about his meltdowns because I realized (a) he lied a lot, (b) he never considered my feelings when he was destroying my property, stealing money from me, putting his hands on me, etc., and (c) I was losing my sanity (and hair) always trying not to set him off when literally everything I or anyone did would set him off anyway. So, yes, I would fall asleep sometimes🤷♀️ I used to feel bad about it, but the human body can only withstand so much stress.
I could not get pregnant during that time. My body protected me because it was an unsafe environment and he was an entirely unsafe person
They definitely use sleep deprivation. I didn't have your experience but he definitely kept me up all hours for different reasons. Including when we had a newborn and an older child. I still had to take care of them while also catering to him. It's an actual form of torture.
If you allow anybody to RAGE at you for 6+ HOURS, you are a child.
@@kiradelarochefoucauld7499
You've clearly never dealt with narcissists
@Kira de La Rochefoucauld how about boy insulting someone in their situation. You don't know what happened or what she was going through. It's actually very rough.
My husband does that to me. Just blantly ignores me. Everything always about him.
Then douse him with ice water. Stand up for yourself and put the fear of God in him. And coat the shower with baby oil right before he gets in. Stop allowing yourself to be bullied and FIGHT BACK!
@@asiahenry7798 lollll true but some of them are too unstable to get back on. could be risky so best to heal and research secretly until she gets the strength to leave safely.
Mine would actually have the balls to say... when hed hurt me and I would cry, hed say:: "You made youself cry"
Yup I've heard that so many times
I told my ex you scared me, "she said you scared yourself."
lol Yep that's my ex boyfriend and my own father. Sad.
I cannot sleep when I have a fight with anyone… I just stay up rethinking about everything I said wrong
I had a narcissist ruin my birthday, call it a night early, then ignore me when i tried to discuss, he ignored me and pretended to be asleep, then tried to come onto me. I shut that shit down quick... and he stayed pissed. Come to find out he was also screwing at least two other girls, like a week later.
I didn't know fake sleeping was a thing until my narc encounter 🙃
Sorry to hear that 😢
hurt me to hear him say this but it's such the truth he gave me confirmation/ clarification of there actions thought process is crazy they literally have no remorse!
🥺
Sometimes the narcissist wants to argue so much that eventually you just fall asleep because you can’t take it anymore. I would literally ask them if I could talk to them about this later when we’ve both calmed down and they always kept going till I couldn’t stay awake physically anymore
Mine would fall a asleep mid argument.
He would leave the house, or room for dramatic effect, not carrying that I was an emotional mess and still had to take care of the kids and chores.
Then I would mentally gaslighting myself while “giving him space” for two hours to where I would give him an apology just to knock on the door, just to find him sleeping
That was my mom after cursing me out for years. The damage I have to deal with now is severe.
Omg this was my husband omg no regrets thanks to the universe I got away
🙏🏽
Do you know if he got help?
@@frankgeez6584 no he doesn't think nothing is wrong with him you should listen to this guy's channel he tell you what you need to know I just discovered this about him about a year ago
When I tell you my child father dose exactly THIS! it’s when he finally gets the reaction he wants me to yell or scream him picking fights and doesn’t stop even when there is no response it’s when I gave into the crap and couldn’t take it no more is when he calmed down and went to sleep closed the door snoring and all all while I’m upset and crying yelling etc. I’ve learned now not to give into the crap ⚠️⚠️⚠️ talk about triggering 😢
So painful it's the one of the worst feelings of pain when your crying and they are falling asleep I am so glad I don't have 2 experience that anymore. Thank u for sharing.
I wasn’t allowed to cry in front of him, he got aggravated… I cried in practically public every public bathroom all over my state
My ex would snore IN SECONDS!!! 😮💨
Mine too! It's crazy how they all behave/operate the same way. 😕🤮
It's a transference of spirits . I would cry live next to him at while he would sleep like a baby. Got up to sleep on the floor and he couldn't rest after that but I felt the whole lot better just getting away from his demons. He got up and found me on the floor instead you know I can't sleep unless you're in the bed!
Interestinggg. They're sadistically happy when you're sad so can sleep and sad when you're at peace. Thanks.
Thank you for answering this forever lasting question of mine. Why my ex always always always have is at peace sleeping to prepare for work after ripping my heart into pieces.
YOU ARE SOOOOO RIGHT MY HUSBAND IS IN HOSPICE AND STILL KEEPING CRAP GOING ON DEATHS DOORS 🚪 I CAN'T BELIEVE WHAT IS GOING ON 😢 IN MY FAMILY BECAUSE OF HIS AWFUL LIES AND BULL. HE LIVES TO INFLICT PAIN ON ME. I HAD TO TELL MY CLOSE RELATIVES. THANK YOU FOR YOUR INFORMATION BLESS YOU 🙌 🙏
This couldn't be MORE true. It is so sad
My soon to be ex husband put a gun to my head with our son who was about a year and a half old at the time. I'd never heard screams like that in my life nor have I ever screamed so loud in horror myself. He made me call into work and he fell asleep while I was on the phone with my work. After that horrific 6 years of my life, I'm a different person. I will never be the same. I struggle still to this day with things and I left 5 years ago. You're right. It's all about them. Nothing or no one matters to them other than themselves.
True ,he doesn't like seeing me cry or upset about him cheating on me.
True , “he use to say idc if you’re cheating as long as you come home to me “🤨🤨
I finally understood a situation that made me wonder how she was able to sleep.
He said I’m mental bc he can’t accept the truth I uncovered in his face
I felt it was the most hateful thing to see them sleep like a baby after being so mean and nasty it’s like how could you sleep so deeply knowing what you just did😮 you’re absolutely heartless
This drives me crazy each time and I be KNOWING he’s gonna do it but somehow I’m super upset every time as if it’s the first time!
Mine used to yell at me for crying then go to his mistresses house and blame me for making him leave
Yes!! Or they stonewall and ignore... It's truly sad
Witnessed this many times...it only adds to the trauma you are already experiencing and nobody that you try to explain this to 'understands'. This is what makes you think that maybe it's 'you' who has a problem... Completely destructive.
Being quiet when he was angry made it so much worse
My ex made up this dumb excuse to break up with me (he wanted to be single and have multiple women). I started crying and he had the blankest stare, then i said "ok I tried, I really wanted us to work" he then said "I'm just so use to people leaving me and I m scared". Anytime I would react he got me. It was draining. My ex fell asleep multiple times after fights and tears.
Omg....the way I've lived married for the last 4 decades. This hit the nail on the head!!
they really don't have to tell you they don't care because their actions say it all...they care when your going to walk out the door before they are ready for you to go
He’s describing every girlfriend I ever had.
Mine would lie to me...I'd catch them...they'd get super pissed that I caught them...beat me up physically because I "won't shut the fuck up" about what they did...so now I'm hurt from the lie, hurt from the abuse I got for confronting the lie and devastated crying and scared and they need to go to sleep because exactly that..."they need sleep because they work early".....and if I didn't let it go....it led to far worse physical abuse. So I just usually let it go.
Oh wow….this is so on point to what I’ve experienced!
Him explaining that just truelly hurt me. Because it makes so much sense but at the same time he says "I go to work for you, so I go to sleep because I have to care for you". The explanation is so opposite I feel my heart sink
caring for only themselves tends to wind up self defeating. you show concern real or fake will also help you in the end.
My Narc is like that. He reminds me how inconvenienced he is by my need to talk about our problems because he has work in the morning and needs his sleep. He literally does not care about my tears. It annoys him more than anything. The only time he feels is when it’s going to affect him.
I love Lee, his voice soothes my soul ❤
He shows me he doesn't care at all, and sleeps everyday in living room and when his using his awake for days and doesn't come to the room at all.
One hits for crying imagine that being hit for crying
I dig how people refer to narcissists like they own them.
They don't make great pets. Lol
Raw honesty.
Omg! This all makes sense now 😮 My ex is a narcissist 🤦🏽♀️ Good luck to the one she’s married to now 😂
Yup, mine creates the problems, doesn't care about me, respect me enough to not lie when I catch him, then after we fight and he tells me I need to go, he's either easily falling asleep or playing video games.
Newsflash! Caring more about yourself is NOT caring about the other person.
Good point. They just cant care.
Amazing. Thank you for finding awareness both of you and this is so true
I can’t believe this is like a real thing I was so naive
So sad. You get tired of it. The ones that care get done the worst.
Wow how do people stay with these men or women RUN! They never change was married to one Prue he!! We were like roommates 😢
Yes. It's happened one too many times to count. I guess this is it for us. I can't take the lies, no communication, no transparency, inconsistency and so much more. He's losing a great, strong, courageous, intelligent, loyal, passionate and spiritual woman. He's never met anyone spiritually (kundalini) awakened yet... so this opportunity of our union will pass him by and ohhhhhh boy is he gonna regret losing such a powerful woman.
Wow! This is really a thing!!! This happens every time! He doesn’t care AT ALL, he will rage and then shut me down with the silent treatment after he blames me and puts me down in every possible way. Then he is just relaxing watching TV and then he will make himself something to eat, maybe even fit in a workout while he’s at it, then go to sleep like nothing happened. Do this for 17 years and wonder why the wife resents and feels bitter and some in the marriage. He acts like he doesn’t understand why I’m so upset. I’m not married to a person at this point.
Crying is a form of manipulation so she’s a narcissist too!
It used to take her long to sleep everyday. But the day we have an argument and I wait for her to be available so that we can things out, which happens to be when she comes in the bed. She sleeps while I'm talking and says that I only want to talk when she wants to sleep. And that day, she sleeps immediately.
I'm sorry to hear that. A little advice from a narcissist trying to be better, don't wait for her to be available. She's counting on you to continue to bend over backwards for her so she can keep enjoying her day while you're upset. If she hurts you, address it then so she can't just go to sleep. If she doesn't care, it's time to put together an exit plan.
Thanks for your kind words and advice. She divorced me which was finalised a month ago. Only learnt that she might be a narcissist a few days ago and now I am just researching. She fits some aspects but not consistently. So I dont know. But I appreciate the message. One consistent messsge that comes across is that one is lucky if they discard you and thankfully there are no kids involved. But it still hurts :(
All the hours i was denied sleep, then he would record my incoherent responses to his conversation. I was so sleep deprived I looked and sounded like a psych patient!
After recording me, and playing it for who I now suspect was his "friend" then, he would be asleep within 2 mins of laying down.
Lee, you are showing a whole library of reactions! Wish I knew what they all are!
He dumped me but still wanted to live together and share the bed. I did that for one week and it was hell. For a week I couldn't sleep and I couldn't eat. I was on eeping tablets and still couldn't sleep. I lost so much weight. And he would just go to sleep like it was normal and get up and shower and leave for work. And sing in the shower.
That’s so confusing, but thinking that they can be so emotionally detached, they can do it with no real realization that they said they don’t want to be with you.
How do they flip it to justify the sleep deprivation they cause? Cuz they do that, too.
I never thought about this before, my ex husband, would go party after we got into a fight and then wouldn’t come home at all that night.
My husband now, he can’t sleep if we get into an argument like at all. We rarely argue, but when we do neither of us can sleep until it’s resolved.
Everyone is a narcissist at least once in they're lifetime.
That is not a narcissist.
A narcissist is abusive as a pervasive part of their behavior patterns
Oh wow every time even while the disagreement going on he would be dozing off I knew something wasn’t rt about that it was so weird
Omg yes!!! This felt insane to me! So eye opening these videos
All the time when I was in that mess.
I can't believe people are like this. But, yes they are people who are out there who are like this, I have an old friend who has narcissistic traits. She has this if it doesn't affect me, I don't care mentally and I always found it odd.
EVERY FIGHT FIOR TEN YEARS
This is My life .... 😢 I love my husband but this is him.
Thank you for sharing this, Lee
I remember I was triggered really badly and cried a lot, like I was sobbing a lot and when my ex and I were together he was so annoyed. He said the sound of me crying was annoying and that he had to get to sleep for work tomorrow morning. He said he’s going off to sleep at his mums a few houses down because he can’t stand my crying. Didn’t try to comfort or understand why I was.
I went outside and eventually he came out too and started making fun of my disabilities, calling me lazy for not working full time, calling me privileged etc. He knew these things were hurtful and it was almost like he was saying it to make me more upset, but didn’t he just want to sleep?
It was all round just a traumatising experience. All I needed was a hug. :( and it is hard not to reach out to him now I left but I have to keep reminding myself that he’s just emotionally unavailable. It is so hard that he was loving when it was convenient for him and when it wasn’t, it was like he didn’t care.
Interesting., while he’s talking the Narc listening shows typical eye movement of something else is more important moments & he is a self aware Narc but still shows typical traits. Keep open & aware and stay educated so you just fine normal types to be involved with. Love & peace people 👍🏼
Was able to fall asleep....however if I fell asleep... I'd get woken up with rage and insults ... so I never went back to sleep again 😔 and still randomly waking up wait for the explosion of anger again 😢
Nailed it!!
I was told to cry without making a sound because it was annoying. By 2 different guys.
So so true omg
Literally my husband my moms cancer battle he was terrible after 18 years he was never like this Idk but I’m so mentally drained
Thank you for this and showing that a narcissist can't change if they really want to but I believe it's still temporary
Singleness never felt so good.
They are so important😂
😅
Yup yup yup xx
💯💯
Divorce is never the way out, My wife and I have been having issues before I sort out help from a spiritual adviser,i wasnt going to let my marriage of 18years crash
@Emilio Yepez well not the orthodox way but i was referred by a friend to a spiritual adviser and healer
@Emilio Yepez her name is SHELLY RENEE WHITE,and she is a great spiritual adviser as well as caster
you can look her name up online and you will find all you need.
Your emotions are a nuisance, boring, inconsequential and yes, an inconvenience, to the narcissist. The sooner you innerstand this, the sooner you heal. Their emotional ineptitude has nothing to do with you, so don’t make yourself a part of it! Trying to get them to be honest and accountable in any way, is like poking a rattle snake. They simply cannot and will not do it. And we all know, it’s one in a million narcissists that will even attempt any self correcting.
Mine would fall asleep during...