My sperm donor dad hates that I’m in touch with my half-siblings
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- Опубликовано: 3 янв 2025
- From Stavvy's World Bonus #105 - Brandon Wardell: / stavvysworld
Friend of the pod Brandon Wardell returns to check out some epic Beetlejuice moments, first times, dropping out of college after a couple months, rocking a long Peter Pan shirt, pilfering the hot sauce at Chipotle, his favorite subreddits, and much more. Brandon and Stav help callers including a woman who is considering a green card marriage to solve her financial problems, and a woman whose sperm donor dad is pissed that she's trying to connect with her half-siblings.
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never seen another guest get so undeniably comfy on that little couch
Isn't that guest the same dude from another episode that was sitting on that couch barefoot and picking between his toes?
He was so comfy he zoned out the whole time 😂
@ i have no idea but i did get a spike in my anxiety when i saw him grab his socked foot with his bare hand like he was potentially about to do something
It's probably because stav and Brandon have been friends for like a decade
They def old friends
Taking your kids to the Vince Vaughn sperm donor movie 3 times to try to give them a hint is one of the funniest dad moves of all time
“In 5 years see how much extra family you want to keep tabs on” holy shit stav drops these little gems so often
It took me until my 30s to realize in a lot of ways, my parents never left their 20s. Once you can start perceiving them like your dumb friends, they become easier to handle. Love them, support them, tell them "too bad" when you're doing something they don't like.
1000% this, bigger issue if they're stuck as a teenager.
That's the degenerative nature of trauma; we're all really just our traumatized forms (often at childhood) operating underneath.
@@Tcat5310 fuck yeah
This mindset has helped separate myself from my parents problems. They are living their life for the first time just like us, I became a lot more peaceful after this!
Don't forget unleaded gas didn't exist yet when your parents were in their 20s
Stavvy, thank you for the constant reminders that I'm not the dumbest person on the planet.
Just second dumbest 🫡
Just keep in touch and don’t tell the family? You can have friends and keep it to yourself
I had the same thought. It’s none of their business, and they don’t need to know.
Yea, obviously the mom is super insecure about it. They aren’t going to change.
She seems like she's just a nice person and was just excited to hear she had more family to get to know.
“Opened the can of nuts” was unintentionally hilarious given the context, tho maybe I’m just a child
Her parents are definitely emotionally immature. She should stay in contact with her half siblings if she wants.
Mom sounds insecure about it for some reason… beats me, it’s not like he cheated on her or anything…
i don’t see both sides here at all. the dad yoinked it into a cup for a couple hundred bucks and didn’t think about the fact that he was creating human people. i understand wanting to know the half siblings and i also understand the half siblings wanting to know about their medical history and shit. parents suck and the mom is mad at her husband and taking it out on her daughter. the sister is mad because she sees it as a threat to the parents’ relationship but that is 100% the daddy’s fault.
yeah I would bet money that the younger sister was coached / manipulated into being against this. the parents were probably like “your sister is trying to destroy the family, and if she does, there won’t be any more Christmases!”
It makes more sense if you think about it in older terms, obfuscated by the aspect of artificial insemination. They're bastards and do not belong properly to their family. Her seeking to forge a relationship with them is disrepectful to her father and integrating them socially into his household poses a threat to his authority, almost by definition. Whether or not the primary fault lies in the decisions of the father does not erase the fact that her actions bear some blame, are selfish and by traditional metrics are antagonistic to the integrity of her immediate family.
This dad sucks. This mom sucks. You’re 23……do WHATEVER you want. Their rocky marriage is NOT your problem or responsibility to tend to.
They can suck, but you should do what you can within reason to preserve the peace for the sake of your family.
@@LLG47 counterpoint: foh
@@LLG47if you choose too, but not your responsibility
@@LLG47Nah, that’s on the elders…it’s not up to the children to keep the peace. She’s 23, it’s her time to do the things she wants to build her life. Don’t be a jerk and maliciously do things to upset people, but she should be free to speak to and do what she wants and forge relationships with who she wants.
@LLG47 She's not going out and doing drugs, or saying her mom's ex is a better dad than her actual dad, she's just reaching out to biological siblings that exist BECAUSE of the dad
Yes, she should try to keep it more private, but she shouldn't be shamed for it
Yea bro the mother is 100% just mad about the thought of her husband having children with other women. You have every right and reason to want to neet them and they have no right to tell you not to.
Yes, and instead of the mother processing her emotions, she's trying to change the daughter's behavior to avoid having to feel them in the first place. She's trying to change her environment instead of herself.
@@FauxFoe- Bingo
Showing up with a large diverse crowd of your half siblings you've befriended is the only option
My dad couldn't have kids, so my parents went the sperm donor route for my siblings and I.
They never told me I couldn't seek out the donor, and I never felt the need. But they wouldn't have tried to stop me if I did. Nobody has the right to tell you who you can have a relationship with. They can react however they want, but YOU are in control of deciding who you choose to bring into your life.
This is super disrespectful but you’re right you can do what you want
Stavy! There is one matter which you had not considered, though... whenever one goes for health checks, one is asked about family history regarding cancers, etc... so for the half-sibblings being reached out to by the caller, it might actually be very helpful to get to know her and about her dad and family to get some insights, physical as well as mental
@C8zzzD - Good point
Dad effed up and told the daughter, shouldn't have said anything if he really wanted to enforce the no contact perspective. Now him and the mom are petty narcissistic control freaks, she might want to distance herself from that toxic sludge
He probably wanted her to reach out but now is agreeing with mom to keep their (toxic) relationship together
Stavy at 8:10 was me to my mom as a kid when she suggested ordering pizza instead of making dinner.
I was adopted.
I think I AM a secret half-sibling 😂
Someone called me once and said they're my sister and then i never heard from her again
Probably her sister told her she was destroying the family by contacting me
damn
Those are fun calls, it's usually a few years in between them so cherish it
I love how stav alternates between the wheel of fortune wheel spin laugh and the cat hacking up a lung laugh
This one is a bummer. I hope it works out for her.
The mom needs to go to couples therapy with the dad, the dad needs to stfu because this is all his fault, and the sister needs to get over it and let the caller do what she wants
ill give you that, that the caller's reaction isn't something a lot of people would do. but even less people would *even think* about telling their kid "you're about to be the reason we break up again" let alone actually say it.
The mom never knew about the sperm donating and is hurt by it. Every time the caller brings up the half siblings, the mom gets hurt again thinking about it. Instead of the mom coping with her emotions, she tries to change the daughter's behavior instead.
The sister simply doesn't want the parents to break up again and is attacking the caller to control her behavior and environment.
Unhealthy emotional processing and an external locus of control are root issues here.
😂what a great day waking up to a stav clip
go to church
I think it’s impossible to understand what blood ties mean when they’re something you can take for granted. I’m not surprised at all that the caller wanted to meet her half-siblings, especially when her immediate family is that dysfunctional. Sperm donation was a contract designed without input of all the future people it would affect, so progeny shouldn’t be shamed for breaching the terms. And feeling uncomfortable about it is a personal problem that similarly has zero bearing on what others do. Mom needs to grow up and support her daughter.
translate from Yappanese pls
@ I think your empathy generator is malfunctioning, have you tried turning it off and on again?
Caller is clearly already more mature at 23 than her parents will ever be.
I’m in this exact position. Dad has many sperm donor kids and is very anti- me learning about them and contacting them. Only thing stopping me is that I don’t want 23 and Me to have my dna
I essentially have a sperm donor father. He had a kid at the time he met my mom. They dated on and off for a few years and then my mum got pregnant and he dipped. He kept the kid from BEFORE and went on to have another kid with another lady. He ended up being an active part in both their lives.
My whole family kind of just skirts the whole subject and it’s so fucking awkward to talk about and it makes them obviously uncomfortable.
I reached out to my half siblings and they knew of me but didn’t really want anything to do with me either. Which was a kick to the nuts because I was an only child my whole life and have always wanted a sibling relationship. Still haven’t met my dad despite exchanging numbers and occasional texts and a few calls
I sympathize with the caller and think the family is definitely being selfish here. Everyone should have the opportunity at a chance with a relationship with blood relatives, as long as it’s consensual both ways
kinda different to a sperm donor though, because people have been finding out recently (as adults) that a lot of their donors fathered dozens - even thousands - of children. it brings up some pretty unique ethical and social/medical issues (from heredity to inadvertant risks of incest)
Your half siblings are missing out. Can never have too much family as long as no one is being toxic
So he left the 1st baby mom (bm) to be with your mom when 1st bm was pregnant. Then, he left your mom (2nd bm) when she was pregnant.
The best prediction of future behavior is past behavior.
I’m sorry both your parents suck. I hope you go out there and start your own dope family without their toxicity.
As a Vince Vaughn fan, I have seen delivery man. Probably twice. Good movie. They should watch it and do an update 😂
7:42 i don't see anything wrong with the child wanting to reach out just from a curiosity standpoint.
From the call it didn’t seem that way too me. It seemed she heard she had other family members out in the world and went out of her way to have full relationships with them. She didn’t really say much about how they reacted to having family out in the world and she seemed upset enough to call in when the rest of her family isn’t really into it or meeting these people. Seems like she wants these sperm donor people in her family as well.
I completely blame the parents because they were trying to be players and now it caught up to them all that risky public sex living like Larry shit catches up😂😂😂 and I’m personally pissed because as a man who was adopted as a child, my father, encouraged me to at least try to talk to my real family
nahh, dude just watched that Vince Vaughn movie.
As a sperm donor kid, I have genuinely never cared about finding my dad or siblings.
I always wondered what happened to Junie from spy kids
I would bet money that the younger sister was coached / manipulated into being against this. The parents were probably like “your sister is trying to destroy the family, and if she does, there won’t be any more Christmases!” or something.
This is where you have to get in there and explain to your sister that, unfortunately, you guys all drew the short straw and wound up with some buIIshit parents. She’ll probably figure it out eventually, and the sooner she does, the less psychic damage they’ll be able to do.
Stav’s opinion of children as things that ruin your life is always so annoying to me. Kids are the best!
mhhhhhhhmmmmmmmmmmmmm....
As someone who grew up with out my father and my brother who is less then a year younger then me, I want to meet my sibling. But I could see why he.doesnt want to meet me.
you have to take ur other immediate siblings into account before anything
If it weren’t for this economy I’d be on patreon too, I used my free first month subscription they give you on Stavy , well worth it, perfect stoner show
Look up the fact that prices are high because of corporate price gouging, not inflation. Kroger, the grocery monopoly, Mcdonalds, Beef suppliers, Egg suppliers, Oil companies, have all admitted in open court that they are price gouging customers, knowing that know people will blindly accept the excuse that they have to raise prices because of inflation, even though they are making record shareholder profits. The channel More Perfect Union has been following this
I'm absolutely and utterly convince as a millenial that we were raised by people with deep emotional awareness problems. Like our parents (Gen X and Boomers, maybe silent Gen if you were raised by grand parents) were operating off of a junior high school level of emotional awareness and you're lucky if they were better than that.
Hell yeah dude
I would hang out with my half-siblings and just not bring it up to my parents/sister… pretty simple lol
Brandon J Chillin
The sister is just afraid, that doesnt make her right but I can understand the thought process. But the caller has the right to know them
I think she should meet her half siblings because what if she ends up unknowingly dating one, has a baby and the baby comes out not healthy due to incest.. House has an episode about this
I don't think the problem is her seeing her half siblings, the problem is that she's bringing it up to her real family, who (at least the mom) have a problem with that. And then I'd agree with her little sister, if she's actively bringing it up for no reason (just meet them in private, you're 23 gd) that definetly looks like a try to split up her parents again.
That is so weird. Dude got payed for those children, why does he want a family out of that?
Why not?
he doesn’t have to. only the daughter who is an adult wants a relationship with her half siblings, she should have that right.
@@DKF_oli Exactly
It is not that complex to me. She should definitely meet her half siblings. Life is way too short and she might really get along with them. Her mom and dad have a weird dynamic if she is describing things accurately lol
Dang, Brendan look shiny! 🌝
She is 23 and an adult how does her family even need to know she is talking to these people .
I haven’t paid stadium had plenty of friends my family never knew about
I'm gonna guess stav mentions Ian and his disagreement on this kind of scenario
these parents sound incredibly selfish and immature compared to their 23 year old daughter
Does Adam talk like Brandon or does Brandon talk like Adam?
Hey, is this guest the, "what if the pope blasted cigs?"- guy? That's what I recognize him from, search it.
She did 23 and me she was gonna find out anyway
Deliveryman was mid, but who hasn't heard of that movie?
@10:45. A very silly take from Eldis hahah that’s disappointing. Meeting newfound distant family isn’t automatically “making them a part of your immediate families lives” he sounds like the caller’s delusional parents
I don’t care and I’m not saying not to reach out buttttt I can’t wrap my head around why she feels the need to want to find/get to know these ppl. I don’t think i would feel the need to look for these “sibilings” it was a sperm donor I feel like it’s just a whole different situation, it is your dads kid but not at the same time lollllll
bc they’re her literal siblings? what’s so difficult to understand?
technically speaking there not half siblings more like 1/3rd
Based on her upbringing math skills aren't emphasized in this family unit.
@@tylerpitts3312 wha? who’s the other 33.3%?! it’s still her dad, and Some Woman, is it not?
Don't bother watching Delivery Man which is a remake.. Instead check out the orignal, Starbuck from 2011, which is much better.
my thought was 'to what end'? like what is there to gain by reaching out to make a relationship with strangers even if you share some genes? do you need more adult friends? are you lonely? people put way to much psychic energy into genetics.
This is a crowd work podcast? Sounds unlistenable
It’s not, but I think for some reason your ultimate goal here is to be blatantly hateful so congratulations
No one is talking about the people she's reaching out to. They may not know they are a product of a sperm donor. They might think that the people who raised them are their biological parents. She's telling them something it's not her place to tell them. She's completely wrong here. It has nothing to do with her sister or her parents though.
If she's reaching out to actual children sure. By the time you're an adult your parents should've been honest with you
it’s from a 23 and me… every one on there can see that they have multiple half siblings, presumably all over the world
what an odd take
Ngl those aren’t your half siblings wtf 😂😂 they some random ppl if your that desperate to meet ppl then go ahead
What does Stavs personal choice to not reach out have to do with what the caller should do? Who cares if some people wouldn’t reach out to newly found family, that’s irrelevant hahah
The caller ..... Called..... Stavros .......
@ …..So in your mind, if someone asks for advice, the person giving advice can’t be incorrect or make a bad point? “Some people wouldn’t reach out” is irrelevant to the fact that the caller already reached out and wants to continue reaching out. Woof
Worst guest this show has had
Wrong. 90% of the female guests are worse