Axel Dickinson he’s an actor for a popular source of content. He would go to a Cali or an Ivy (which isn’t just Ivy but schools like Johns Hopkins, Stanford, or U Chicago.
Tyler has since made amazing progress- at 15, he hazed 12 freshmen by feeding them LSD and ditching them in a field 10 miles from OSU’s campus. Truly an inspiration ❤️
@@johnnysimoncic3428 If you think that, then you don't know college football. People from Penn State at least can't stand ohio state although alabama is worse
@King White Knight my parents are also so unsupportive, why cant they accept thr fact i want to be on ny second liver before i become an adult, if i want to keep competing i need a fresh start
I spent the last 25 years of my life studying mannequins in the wilderness of Malls, and I can assure you, the mannequin is more scared of you, than you are scared of him, he freezes in place out of fear, I have witnessed some people even undressing the mannequin without him putting a fight. the trick is to look it in the chest, this triggers a freeze reaction in the mannequin.
As an Ohio State alum, I am proud that my school is well-known enough to make this joke work. There are much better party schools around, even in the same state, but the joke would have fallen flat.
@Dan Bowl no he didnt.. im from ohio and he went to ohio state uni. there's other colleges similar with the ohio state part but he definitely went to ohio state university
Legend has it Tyler is still at Ohio state on a full drinking Scholarship. Working on a Doctorate in alcoholism. I am hoping to aspire to be like Tyler.
Dear Onion, While watching this video, I noticed that the reporters had said they were going to review paper towels after the shown segment. However, towards the end of this segment, it is clearly stated that the reporters were going to "teach you how to walk past that store with the scary mannequin". These two promises are very conflicting, and I don't know which to believe. I'm involving my lawyers in this, and you won't be seeing me watch or comment on your videos anytime soon. Thank you, Your Ex-Viewer
After they said they were comparing paper towel brands, they said you were going to need to find something else to watch. The mannequin story was for the wise who knew the paper towel story was a ruse.
OSU better be careful, I heard a rumor that USC, Texas State, and NYU have been sending beer trucks to local middle schools for possible scouting prospects.
@@michaelfosnaught2238 the real question is if they can take over indiana. onion news was the only news to cover the story on when indiana was taking over north america
@@avidadolares nobody personally attacked you so you're not obligated to respond as if you were insulted. I don't know about the other americans but you surely aren't a very bright one.
"I can't wait to see what amazing problems lie in store for you" This channel is so underrated. Why on earth does it not get more attention? It's a true hidden gem.
35% of the comments are trolls pretending to think it is real. 15% are trolls trying to troll them, that it's actually real. Other 25% are people not understanding the first and the second troll and explaining it is fake. 10% are people complaining about the trolls. Another 38% are people complaining about the people thinking it is actually real, which are actually trolls. And another 14% think it is actually real. Then 12% are trolls throwing around random percentages. And 5% are people who reply to those people, complaining about the percentages.
Alumni as well. My building was right up the street from Ohio Stadium. Saturday mornings on campus looked like an international backwards cap convention sponsored by Abercrombie & Fitch
Every now and again I'll watch this video, and lament over how I've wasted my life by not attending university. Someone told me university was more about education, and less about drinking, which was really disheartening, so I never went. Turns out that person was a horrible liar, and just a bad person to be around in general (they're out of my life now, fortunately), so I often spend cold winter days, staring out into the rain and thinking "I could have blacked out in that gutter" with a wistful sigh.
Imagine traveling back in time and letting everyone know that the most legitimate news source in 2019 are back dated episodes of the Onion. What the fuck is going on?
This kid seems like he is heading in the right direction, in college at 13 wow! I more relate to the terrifying mannequin in stores. I feel like they are moving slowly and might reach out and grab me sometimes. :(
you need to desensitize your self and hang out in a store and touch them. lol Have you seen that episode of DR. Who might have been 1st or 2nd. mannequins all up in that episode. :S they chase the people around!.
Ohio states a fucking party school. It was my top college, until I realized how everyone’s fucking drunk and high. Now I’m planning on going to different college
I'm kind of disappointed that the video didn't continue for another minute, scary manikins are a real bane of my existence...they just stand there all day, watching, knowing...
G'day, Ah, well, y'see Grasshopper, you spelled it wrongfully..; to duly reflect the Strategic (In)Security considerations of the Excited States of AmeriKa it is better to adopt the more emotive and evocative phonetic depiction... If one seeks to be completely geographically accurate, then a fuller expression might be "Excited States of Norte AmeriKano", and at it's extreme version "ArmedmeriKano"... But, fear not, it won't be The Future for long...; as the Economy collapses further it becomes too expensive for children to afford to get drunk, and there's probably goanna be plenty of Crystal Methamphetamine cornering the market on Chemical Euphoria for the desperate, the anxious, and the hopeless..(?). ;-p Ciao !
They should do a follow up report "Tragically at the age of 22 drinking prodigy Tyler Morgan, has died after battling long term cirrhosis in the liver. Doctors and family members are baffled at how he developed this condition especially at such a young age."
My roommate at ABV Community College just turned 12 and he could drink this kid under the table. He’s currently being recruited by all the major D1 drinking schools but his parents want him to go pro instead.
I hope this actor actually goes to Ohio State now
Nate O'Brien
New challenge
Hey Nate! Good to see you here.
Fortnite cat piss
@@valotinn im a kitty kitty kitty
.
“I go to class, I show up wasted, and I leave early” that’s a mood if I’ve ever seen one
just an ordinary Idiot he’s to loud tbh
Fucking yikes. Pretty concerning that 800 people gave this a thumbs up.
@Khaled Rapp or maybe he's a normal person trying to get an education
@yo pierre leave the partying for the weekend
grumpy - that's another mood i've seen before
This kid is 17-18 now making a decision about what college he attends. Let's pray he genuinely joins Ohio State
Axel Dickinson right
Axel Dickinson he’s an actor for a popular source of content. He would go to a Cali or an Ivy (which isn’t just Ivy but schools like Johns Hopkins, Stanford, or U Chicago.
Not really a great reason to choose a college
LyonKing👑 if you can go without having to pay you would go.
@@lyonking1820 ok buzzkillington
Tyler has since made amazing progress- at 15, he hazed 12 freshmen by feeding them LSD and ditching them in a field 10 miles from OSU’s campus. Truly an inspiration ❤️
Such a prodigy and legend ❤️I just KNOW he’s going places 🫶🏼
This actor must’ve had so much fun
What actor?
@@nathanchocomint the kid
@@nathanchocomint the kid
Reef delete this
Nine's Own Goal thanks for ruining my joke :/
the writer for this episode must be from Michigan.
exactinmidget92 lol
Or Penn State
doggo bruh r u dumb they don’t have a rivalry
@@johnnysimoncic3428 If you think that, then you don't know college football. People from Penn State at least can't stand ohio state although alabama is worse
doggo ur so dumb, but I don’t wanna Hurt ur feelings about how u know nothing abt collage fb, but whatever...
That "come on, let's get fucked up" was perfect. This kid is great
Best line
Honestly, that made me a little concerned for whether this experience would influence him... but again, he is 13, so who knows?
the parents deserve praise
I was surprised FSU let this one get away.
Yeah, while looking the hostess in a very... funky way lol.
I was happy to discover he finished his Graduate degree at Florida State.
Florida 💀💀
Nothing to fuel your alcoholism better than all you can drink at Potbelly's, Bullwinkles, and The Strip!
He also became a dietician after he lost 15 pounds due to his cocaine addiction he found at recess
I heard he ended up becoming the face of orientation for new students.
Tyler is now 17 and works in middle management, he is hated by his employees and makes 3 times more than you. What a prodigy
Context and source?
@@cruyffssoul2397 source: just trust me bro
did he lose a year or 2 of life? theres 6 years difference between 2015 and 2021 not 4 years
@@drcgaming4195 It takes 4-5 years to graduate
@@anomalocaris2593 i mean he was 13 in the vid so 13 + 6 = 19 unless im skipping a year
My family never supported my professional drinking dreams.
Same
@@TheeMizver me to
Neither did mine unfortunately
@King White Knight my parents are also so unsupportive, why cant they accept thr fact i want to be on ny second liver before i become an adult, if i want to keep competing i need a fresh start
Thats why you always put it in soda or hide it in a in a separate bottle and very slowly take a little bit at a time
"So young and yet so disgusting" 😂😂😂
Thank you for taking the time to help the deaf community by quoting a line from this video, as if the reader of this comment themself didn't watch it.
98kll
@@dogsdreamtoo8427 how dare someone think something is funny
@@dogsdreamtoo8427 Thank you for copy-pasting annoying replies!
@@Dead25m 24 people thought it was funny
"We knew this was someone who belongs at the Ohio State University."
Too real, Onion...
Only in Ohio
𝗱𝗼𝘄𝗻 𝗶𝗻 𝗼𝗵𝗶𝗼
Go bucks
Sad, but better than heroin.
the onion IS NOT satire. its just crazy shit that hasnt happened yet
they have a series on news from the future (like 2100 I think?)
@@micah_lee or maybe just 2020
They exist in a parallel universe
EXACTLY
even then, it probably has already and its just not recorded/documented
Who ever thought of this is a genius
Legit the thousandth like 🤝🤟🏽
So then it’s Tyler himself
''I can't wait to see what amazing problems lie in store for you'' lolol
😭😂😂
And he's now a Supreme Court Justice.
Bar
BART simpson
Bravo!!!!!
*His sideburns* omg LOL
I don’t get it, are they really long ?
@@shuga6266 they looked really long. Turns out I was wrong. Its just his hair 0:57
Jschlatt kid
I'll admit they look strange.
@Immaculate my hair does same thing
This isn’t accurate at all. A good buddy of line dropped out of OSU his freshman year. He wasn’t just a drunk, he had a crippling coke addiction too.
Mission to be A Man I like soda as well
Coke is ok, but how would you get drunk off of soda?
Mission to be A Man was using the word “line” instead of “mine” intentional as well?
Ofc he tried to be a multi athlete no wonder he burned out
* mine
“Next up is how you can walk past the clothing store with the mannequin that terrifies you.”
That spoke to me on a spiritual level.
I spent the last 25 years of my life studying mannequins in the wilderness of Malls, and I can assure you, the mannequin is more scared of you, than you are scared of him, he freezes in place out of fear, I have witnessed some people even undressing the mannequin without him putting a fight.
the trick is to look it in the chest, this triggers a freeze reaction in the mannequin.
Yeah there's a lot of those stores on osu campus
Belal Abu Sultan LMFAOO
@@belalabusultan5911 thank you for informing us!
@@kingt0295
you are welcome lol
Most sober student in Ohio
It’s that damn kids metabolism
I feel like I just witnessed the making of a gta 5 radio station ad
Aahaha, ngl, true af
The entirety of the Onion is GTA Canon as of now hahah
Yeah hahahhaha
holy sht bro
I have been looking for this comment in every onion videos. It's exactly outta gta v television show or radio broadcast
When your 13 but your liver is 35
When you're* 13 ...
ye cos 35 y/o's are well known for getting ill with age related diseases... 🤔
"When _you're_ 13". As in "you are".
@@Zukias they obviously meant years of drinking to 35
🤣🤣🤣🤣
I saw this guy chugging a four loko before our calculus class! Total badass
U know this is fake? LMAO
itoukka lol of course it was a joke
itoukka r/ wooooosh
this is legit i drank with him at a party
itoukka r/whoOoOoOoOsh.
“Yeah I’m just like everyone else. I go to class, I show up wasted, and I leave early.”
Kid actually did go to college.
Imagine being an Ohio state alumni and watching this
You must be so proud
Currently at OSU and I am so so proud
Omg me
As an Ohio State alum, I am proud that my school is well-known enough to make this joke work. There are much better party schools around, even in the same state, but the joke would have fallen flat.
I’m a current student that has literally never been to a party (and I’m a second year so I did have the opportunity lol) and I’m still proud
@@alexreid1173 Right I'm a 5th year and ive yet to go to one
"So young and yet so disgusting"
JR B it’s real bro i swart
@ JR B That was my comment too hahahaha
bravo
1000th like
It’s fake fude
So this is where jake and logan paul went
Max Astna Jake wouldn’t even be able to get in, he had like a 2.0 GPA in high school
Max Astna i agree
They did do hs in ohio tho ('_')
@Dan Bowl no he didnt.. im from ohio and he went to ohio state uni. there's other colleges similar with the ohio state part but he definitely went to ohio state university
@Dan Bowl yeah, guess they cant think of any good names also sorry if my original comment was a bit rude btw
If my kid doesn't turn out like this, I'm returning it
That sounds like it might be a painful affair for the mother
I go to OSU. Professor tells us about a field trip and the first response of my class mates was to ask "can we bring beer". We could. They did.
LOL. I go to OSU as well. What class allowed this?
Eli Lester That's it. I'm going to OSU.
aj76257 u seem like ur tryna report the teacher
I’d bring bud
My guy.... did you just say field trip.... in college??😂😂
leaked footage of child jake paul
He's a Cleveland bitch boy,
OSU is in Columbus, over 100 miles away.
That’s a young stevewilldoit!🤣🤣🤣
Coming up next watch him hang somone in a forrest and post it on yt
Explains a lot it really does...
@@vallisdaemonumofficial Because only people from Columbus go to OSU, right? That's pretty darn incredible.
Legend has it Tyler is still at Ohio state on a full drinking Scholarship. Working on a Doctorate in alcoholism. I am hoping to aspire to be like Tyler.
I live in Ohio it's true XD
Dear Onion,
While watching this video, I noticed that the reporters had said they were going to review paper towels after the shown segment. However, towards the end of this segment, it is clearly stated that the reporters were going to "teach you how to walk past that store with the scary mannequin". These two promises are very conflicting, and I don't know which to believe. I'm involving my lawyers in this, and you won't be seeing me watch or comment on your videos anytime soon.
Thank you,
Your Ex-Viewer
This shall not stand 💪
After they said they were comparing paper towel brands, they said you were going to need to find something else to watch. The mannequin story was for the wise who knew the paper towel story was a ruse.
@@angrysquirrel187 holy shit you're a genius
Maybe all the paper towels were used up to clean the drinks he spilled...
Guess they’re just gunna do both of these next segment.
Surprised Florida State wasn't able to recruit him.
They already signed two ten year olds, no need for this kid.
too old.
their was interest from Arizona state
While advanced, he was not advanced enough. That is an ELITE program.
Damn, not even this kid would go to FSU lmao
What the Americans call drinking prodigy, we here in Germany call a normal boy with normal needs.
Wow didn't expect to stumble across you here, love you're music keep it up
@@bruhboii2583 I'm honored that I was found on this distant and foreign place of the internet.
I will never stop.
Thank you 🙇
Haha yes :D
Have you seen Korea?
checked out your channel, found it to be cool. subbed
OSU better be careful, I heard a rumor that USC, Texas State, and NYU have been sending beer trucks to local middle schools for possible scouting prospects.
Blade GTR yeah lol
@jumpthenoob not top 10 but ok
jumpthenoob well fuck you then u don’t even know what Ohio’s like u dumb bitch😂
jumpthenoob shit my bad that wasn’t to u my guy it was to iso Corp or some shit
Iso Corp well fuck u then u don’t even know what Ohio’s like u dumb bitch😂
Ain't no way he making it out Ohio now dawg 💀
LMFAOO
You're literally not funny. Emphasis on "literally"
@@Skrillful aw did i hurt the little furrys feelings? Sorry I couldn't use the correct pronouns
@@Black-bk4xf cry
what the hell oh mah gawd, no wayhayhayahhy
He should have come to Wisconsin. I'm tired of Ohio State getting all the good recruits.
Sometimes you have to be a little more competitive to beat the game...
LMFAO.
Take pride in the fact that you can coach up the three* budding alcoholics to an elite level.
@@editorrbr2107 Yeah, Wisconsin has good development, but you can only do so much against a God given liver like that.
Look, we do very little else as a state. This is the talent we breed.
At least you get good offensive linemen.
Liver.exe stopped working.
XD
💀💀😭😂😂😂😂
It's fake guys, he got into Harvard not Ohio.
He's gunna be a Harvard drop out watch
You're stupid honestly he went to YALE
Yup
This kid is living the dream that so many youths nowadays aspire to.
Such a lifetime achievement!
Fake we all know Ohio isn't real
I was so confused on what an Ohio was. I went to Google it and nothings there
Ohio was eliminated.
Ohio is taking over the entire US.. soon there will be nothing but Ohio
Isn’t it the thing that gets in the way of getting from the east to the west coast (and vice versa) in a convenient amount of time?
@@michaelfosnaught2238 the real question is if they can take over indiana. onion news was the only news to cover the story on when indiana was taking over north america
The Onion has been on a roll lately
yeh? this was awkward and terrible
More specifically, one of Olive Garden's delicious garlic rolls.
prolly a few pizzas too
I love Onion rolls...
***** No, you're the one is awkward.
“Just like everybody else, I go to class, I show up wasted, I leave early”
Fuck man how do you not have your account deleted
@@sulfurical7439 Cause the symbol isn't bad?
Nice swastikas bro, your’e edgy af
you’re such a bad person
Somebody ever heard of nazis?
If I see one more "Only in Ohio" joke, I'll eat a pencil
only in ohio
I immediately lost it at "you should probably find something else to watch, then." 😂
lmfao me too!
Some people actually think this is real 😰
Update: This kid is a Jr now. The bad news is he gave up drinking. The good news is he's a pothead instead.
Kev Ro pot, Reafer, the good stuff, grass got any other names and bob marley got that one from a movie
He actually got through the cocktail party meet-and-greet segment of the Rhodes Scholarship app process by winning at beer pong with Bill Clinton.
Is this video a joke
With a minor in snack-food studies.
They grow up so fast
I didn't realize this was the onion at first lol
That one random guy in the comments same tho lmao
Same
Hahah me neither. At first I was like..wtf am I watching???
Same
Same
As someone from the midwest, I can appreciate the multiple layers of dissed on Ohio State that we always heard. Top tier
Ok I legit thought this was real for a sec 😂
Hunter is weird me too😂
Same
The ending though
Lmao did you really?
it is
Half my high school friends chose their college based on how much of a 'party school' it was. My parents went to OSU...hmmmm
Sounds like your friends aren't planning on being very productive members of society then lol
@@draydengee9060 Musicians and writers and painters maybe...so they can sleep til noon!
choosing school based on party occurences? so damn americans are like in those movies
@@yuyuyuyuu6207 ? The guy clearly said "his friends" not ALL AMERICANS. Get off your high horse, dipsht.
@@avidadolares nobody personally attacked you so you're not obligated to respond as if you were insulted. I don't know about the other americans but you surely aren't a very bright one.
I bartend on Osu campus, this is incredibly accurate!
“I go to class, I show up wasted, I leave early.” That is, in fact, the most realistic college experience.
Good thing they‘re comparing paper towel brands later, with all that beer on the floor
"I can't wait to see what amazing problems lie in store for you" This channel is so underrated. Why on earth does it not get more attention? It's a true hidden gem.
KevinShinwoo you're joking right there is no hidden gem
@@cheated4687 Lies
KevinShinwoo i can't tell if ur serious or not
KevinShinwoo if you're not joking then you're stupid
@@cheated4687 Not sure what you find so difficult to believe in my comment. I said nothing outrageous.
“So young and yet so disgusting!”
Shoutout to my man. He’s drinking age now
"was shotgunning by 7" XD
Call Of Meme the head shot hit for 8
Fucking lost it
I feel dumb for thinking this is real..
CookedFriedBeanHead Sameeee
CookedFriedBeanHead same😂😂
You're not alone lmao
Same
Fuck k thought it was real and stupid
35% of the comments are trolls pretending to think it is real. 15% are trolls trying to troll them, that it's actually real. Other 25% are people not understanding the first and the second troll and explaining it is fake. 10% are people complaining about the trolls. Another 38% are people complaining about the people thinking it is actually real, which are actually trolls. And another 14% think it is actually real. Then 12% are trolls throwing around random percentages. And 5% are people who reply to those people, complaining about the percentages.
109% of statistics utilize numbers
And there's a few comments with statistics.
People can come up with statistics to prove anything , forfty percent of all people know that.
NicholasRiviera How many people actually think it's fake?
lolzomgz1337 Well, I said that 14% think it is real. This would mean that about 93% think it is real, if I did my math right.
This video was ahead of its time
@Monkeypox (Nigerian flu) ohio memes
Why should comedy be framed in reference to shitty internet memes
in what way?
@@danacoleman4007 idk Unc, you tell me.
Not really
“you wanna play”
“come on lets get fucked up” killed me😂
Nobody:
Freshmen in the bathroom:
meaning
Oh you mean the juul room
@@evanthefish1857 underrated comment
“Later we're gonna tell you how to walk past the clothing store with the mannequin that terrifies you.”
Underrated line.
0:44 - What's UP?? lmao. You can stop it there..
As an OSU alumni, I can confirm this is 100% accurate.
Backwards ball caps, as far as the eye can see.
Alumni as well. My building was right up the street from Ohio Stadium. Saturday mornings on campus looked like an international backwards cap convention sponsored by Abercrombie & Fitch
"Alumnus" - masc. 2nd decl. nom. sing.
Every now and again I'll watch this video, and lament over how I've wasted my life by not attending university.
Someone told me university was more about education, and less about drinking, which was really disheartening, so I never went.
Turns out that person was a horrible liar, and just a bad person to be around in general (they're out of my life now, fortunately), so I often spend cold winter days, staring out into the rain and thinking "I could have blacked out in that gutter" with a wistful sigh.
It's never too late to attend the University mate
And it is 95% hard work.. Just the last 5% is also really fun, and pretty much exactly like this, or crazier.
Most ambitious internet user
About time the Big Ten starts landing five star drinking recruits, the SEC's been getting way too many of them lately.
The sec is dying out
Almost 10 years later I’m still trying to figure out how to walk by that store with that creepy mannequin.
He looks like the ppl from the grinch stole Christmas live action movie
You mean a who fro. Whosvile
We call that being eccentric all true geniuses look weird.
If Timmy turner joined a fraternity
Unrealistic. He'd be chanting "O-H" "I-O". Do your homework, Onion.
If they had done their homework they would of used UW Madison
Yeah, ONION
I’m also pretty sure this wasn’t actually filmed at OSU.. Grounds look wrong..
On behalf of Ohio state alumni, THE Ohio State University.
It honestly ASTOUNDS me that some people think this is real? I’m actually confused on how that’s possible.
somethingretarded spoken like a true intellectual
I try I fail true
I mean I wouldn't put it past OSU
Iso Corp ?
Steve Tracemi because Anyone can watch RUclips.
Stone Cold Steve Austin’s childhood home videos.
Greg Lane facts
Steve Austin was already bald at that age.
🤣
Where is the segment on that terrifying mannequin?? I walk around the entire mall to avoid it.
WHY, why is it that every time I see an Onion video not knowing it's an Onion video, I fall for it with complete disbelief and anger lol
Imagine traveling back in time and letting everyone know that the most legitimate news source in 2019 are back dated episodes of the Onion.
What the fuck is going on?
Mate, try 2021.
@@Its_Captain_Jack_Sparrow I know, I was just kidding haha.
Job interviews: you got any talents
Me:
This kid seems like he is heading in the right direction, in college at 13 wow!
I more relate to the terrifying mannequin in stores. I feel like they are moving slowly and might reach out and grab me sometimes. :(
Lol I just shared the video with you, but looks like you beat me to it.
Omg that is so freaky! :O
you need to desensitize your self and hang out in a store and touch them. lol Have you seen that episode of DR. Who might have been 1st or 2nd. mannequins all up in that episode. :S they chase the people around!.
VivianSpawn +shivers+ I know what you mean! I walked past one clothing store and I swear one of them had their outreached to try and grab me. :(
VivianSpawn Like those Weeping Angels in Doctor Who. +shivers even more so+
Onion way ahead of time. Lol
As someone from Ohio, this is VERY accurate
Could you please elaborate. I’d like to know more on this 😂
Ohio states a fucking party school. It was my top college, until I realized how everyone’s fucking drunk and high. Now I’m planning on going to different college
@@brrrr1584 are you thinking of Ohio University?
Nope
Ohio university is worse though
He is now a proud alumni of Brohio State University.
"I can't wait to see what amazing problems lie in store for you" took me out!
Wonder if any of this kid's college buddies have found this long lost Onion video yet.
I'm kind of disappointed that the video didn't continue for another minute, scary manikins are a real bane of my existence...they just stand there all day, watching, knowing...
Don't watch Doctor Who.
best onion content in a while! this was gold!
''we'll be comparing papel towel brands, so you prbably should find something else to wtch then" Hahahahahaha That's hilarious
This takes only in Ohio to another level.
Being an OSU alumni I gotta say this was funny
NO joke this sounds like something Ohio State would do.
@Kyla Dumont I'm the snowflake yet you're the one who felt the need to be offended by my existence alone. Yeah that makes sense LMAO
I like your flags
@Kyla Dumont You're going to flaunt your identity while telling them they can't do the same? You must be a drinking prodigy as well.
love your profile pic :3
@Kyla Dumont Bitch what?
Now I’ll never know how to walk past the clothing store with the mannequin that terrifies me
He's probably now professor of partying at Ohio State.
the future of America
nope...its already here
THE future of America
wobbly868 not really
martyre king true
G'day,
Ah, well, y'see Grasshopper, you spelled it wrongfully..; to duly reflect the Strategic (In)Security considerations of the Excited States of AmeriKa it is better to adopt the more emotive and evocative phonetic depiction...
If one seeks to be completely geographically accurate, then a fuller expression might be "Excited States of Norte AmeriKano", and at it's extreme version "ArmedmeriKano"...
But, fear not, it won't be The Future for long...; as the Economy collapses further it becomes too expensive for children to afford to get drunk, and there's probably goanna be plenty of Crystal Methamphetamine cornering the market on Chemical Euphoria for the desperate, the anxious, and the hopeless..(?).
;-p
Ciao !
I cant stop watching these onion reports dude im addicted
Incredibly troubling viewing unchecked, underage, alcohol abuse. I can't believe they were so calm watching him spill all that beer on the floor.
its satire you dunce
Sla Mor Literally the dumbest person I've ever seen.
Way to be racist.
PissedFechtmeister A fair punishment. Truly, we have a righteous and just God.
matchu4444 Dude. You're so kinky.
They should do a follow up report "Tragically at the age of 22 drinking prodigy Tyler Morgan, has died after battling long term cirrhosis in the liver. Doctors and family members are baffled at how he developed this condition especially at such a young age."
Why are there always people that say: "lmaoooo thought this was real for a sec 😂😂😂." It's as if people don't check who made the video...
You don't even have to look at who made the video. The video name is a dead give away that this is satire.
Wait a second, people are complaining about gender pronouns and that's not satire. It's hard to tell what's satire in today's world.
Bruh since I don’t live in the America’s, I would take any shit that said “it’s from America” until I see it The Onion
SAFYE well some people don’t know about the onion
tbh the onion is not satire anymore, it just tells the truth now
My roommate at ABV Community College just turned 12 and he could drink this kid under the table. He’s currently being recruited by all the major D1 drinking schools but his parents want him to go pro instead.
First second clicking on the video not knowing it’s from the onion: “oh this is actually real?
2 seconds later: “oh wait this is from the onion”
i swear they predicted "only in ohio" humor
They didn’t predict anything