As a true cockney I would say , the only authentic one there is the big bloke. Not true cockney but definitely a Londoner The others speak Estuary English
Oh you mean real men speak eastern-europe based languages? I don't think so, afterall, your ancestors probably learned french for international communication.
I'm American, so I know fuckall about Cockneys, but the big guy looks and sounds EXACTLY how I imagine them to be. would love to see a full video of him and the guy in the all black going at it.
@@mediacenterman8583 None in the east end anymore. I was brought up by my uncle and aunt just Saaff of the River, he was a Stevedore in Docklands, Proper people
I went to school with Vinnie Jones, Langleybury. he was tough little bugger even then. Thats when he went, he skived off to francis combe school most of the time cos thats where his mates were
I was in Newcastle not long ago and I almost needed a translator. When talking to a bloke who's working on his fourth bottle of Buckfast, I may as well been talking to a Chinese. After a while you pick up on some key phrases that lets you know what they're talking about. For example, when the bar tender says "...ready for 'notha pigs ear?..." that means "are you ready for another beer?"and so on. the whole "rhyming" thing is very hard to grasp. But I had a fucking ball. You have not really partied until you get with a half dozen locals and closed down the pub on a Friday night.
Coming from an actual Londoner (South London) who is definitely working class, I tell u now that potentially none of them were actually cockneys.... main reason is for some reason they all pronounce their T’s.... except 1 of em who drops it once. They were all putting it in.... trust me Im so London although I live in Cornwall now, last time I went there for a mates birthday everyone keep saying I sounded like Alfie Solomon’s from peaky blinders.... I was well offended, I’m from south London, don’t compare me to a north London Jew.... but seriously I’d never say ‘Naughty’ it would come out ‘Naugh-ee’, same as ‘bottle’ will be ‘bo-all’. We don’t pronounce our Ts our Hs and TH becomes F and on certain words D
"Who speaks French". Best line in the clip. Bit disappointed nobody said "avit large"!!! Or "your getting right on my thrupenny bits". Nevermind maybe next time 😁👍
Just to make clear - my dad and my nan were cockneys and although they had the accent, they weren't aggressive or rude. Ever. Being cockney doesn't make you a cartoon character or a stereotype.
@@mmff5242 Why bring race into it? Cockneys come in all colours because it’s an accent, not an ethnicity. And other ethnicities are stereotyped all the time by small minded bigots, so I don’t know where you been hiding.
I love the fact this video is still getting comments!! It was meant as a complete piss take, I should know as I'm the guy who had long hair! Enjoy it for what it is, a pods take of football factory accents and expressions!
Actually I would like to point out that it is intact French people who speak French .. they are the country that has a white cross on a white background and who produce a variety of military vehicles with 2 forward gears and 13 reverse gears... They can often be found running away from most things including a can of lynx deodorant.. the woman can often be identified due to their mustaches being ever so slightly shorter than the males.. the male can also spit further.
To borrow a line from Captain Blackadder....."In the Amazonian rainforest, there are tribes of Indians as yet untouched by human civilization that have developed more convincing cockney accents than that bloke in the red top and black coat"
A muvver was barfin’ ‘er biby one night, The youngest of ten and a tiny young mite, The muuver was poor and the biby was thin, Only a skelington covered in skin: The muvver turned rahnd for the soap off the rack, She was but a moment, but when she turned back, The biby was gorn; and in anguish she cried “Oh where is my biby?” - The angels replied: “Your biby ‘as fell dahn the plug-‘ole, Your biby ‘as gorn dahn the plug; The poor little fing was so skinny and thin ‘E oughter been barfed in a jug; Your biby is perfeckly ‘appy, ‘E won’t need a barf any more, Your biby ‘as fell dahn the plug-‘ole
Cream recorded an acapella version of this on their album "Disraeli Gears", and titled it "Mother's Lament". Ginger Baker, Jack Bruce and Eric Clapton.
It was an ad-lib done by Mike Reid (as Frank Butcher) in an episode of East Enders and it took off from there. It's not a classic saying but it caught on with the mockneys.
"No good at French?
No good at fucking French?
Who the fuck speaks French?"
Favorite part
XD
It's a valid question.
Aw ye foom kadah??
I'm French and it made me laugh😂😂
No good at la fucking Francais?
I went to the university of life my son.
haha now I know what he was saying
Graduated from the school of hard knocks
Not u
You wot
That's a Chiropractic school in America.
"Who the F*** speaks French!" Love it!!!
Years ago at school my brother said something similar to a German Language teacher, he went on to live in Germany for 12 years ! Boy do I laugh
People in France.
@@ShiftyGuy777 you mug
Ah, my bad. They don't speak French, people in Mexico speak French.
@@ShiftyGuy777 DRY SLAP !!!!!!!!!!
"I've never read a book in my life!" and "Who the eff speaks French?!" Very funny. Great stuff.
Read a what?!
As a true cockney I would say , the only authentic one there is the big bloke. Not true cockney but definitely a Londoner The others speak Estuary English
Right, as I come from Woolwich, have you ever heard anybody call somebody a "Melt"?
+Simon Watts Never heard of it. I am sure people make these up as they go along, I mean, "ream"....fgs.
+Simon Watts Yeah, Danny Dyer. And Essex Cockneys.
"...Estuary English..." That's a bit too middle class for my liking son
They all sound like very bad actors to me. The only thing authentic in the video is the table, even that's a bit suspect.
The guy in the green jacket is a priceless human being you can only find in one place. Nothing like the cockneys anywhere else
"I've never read a book in my life"
"I went to the university of life"
😂
"I went to the university of life" - If anyone says that to me in an interview they dont get the job
Easily the bald guy with a green jacket is the best
Me mum, who is a cockney, once got called up to my school for the same reason. And this is how it went
@MathematicalPhysics Yoo trying ter make summit of it?
who is a cockney,? "Oossa Cokernknee" yer means yer numptee
"Who the fuck speaks french?" hahahahahaha
ArchitechMusic you commented twice
Oo the fuck speaks French?
I do.
And them still speak it
I'm a northerner. Went to work in London in the eighties and met many cockneys. Loved em all!!
Geordie?
@@petermonk5443 Boltonian
@@mrkimble2618 Sweet
Who the fuck speaks French?
you! you mug!
The french
I speak french and I am french!! coïncidence? I don't think so... Allez salut bande de guignols! retournez chez votre mère, elle vous a fait un flan!
Oh you mean real men speak eastern-europe based languages? I don't think so, afterall, your ancestors probably learned french for international communication.
real men? what the fuck is that??
The big bloke in the green bomber jacket is the most natural at it, doesn't even seem like he's trying.
You should check out Arthur Mullard ( ask yer granddad )
@@wanderer1955 Put him in YT search, plenty there
@@phillipsmiley5930 What?🤔
"who the fOck speaks French"
The whole of France: 👁️👄👁️
Its nar good yer not gona make us feel sorry fer hem
Fair few speak arabic.....
Never understood people quoting it instead of posting the timestamps. Fuck your muver.
Agent provocateur😂
I'm French and I find this hilarious. Love it!
Love it. The mothers are great. Just in the middle of it. Watching it all pan out.
They're probably tired of it 🤣
"I'm proper naughty geezer" that is legend 😅
Yeah like he has paid his TV license
"I'll open you up like a lemon" haha wtf??
ArchitechMusic admit it you like my username doncha huh
Rosida Andriyana wink,course you do!:) you got on facebook chick
I read your comment as soon as the geezer said it on the video 😂
This is cockny dear
Used to hang with a few cockneys when I was an undergrad here in the states. Those guys are awesome
You went to university in the south coast of England didn't you?
You’ll get one right across your canister, you plum.
@@lembartjellico5926They came to my university in the states
I can listen to it my entire life : D
Can’t believe this is nearly 15 years old. It’s a classic
I'm American, so I know fuckall about Cockneys, but the big guy looks and sounds EXACTLY how I imagine them to be.
would love to see a full video of him and the guy in the all black going at it.
Quantez Williams hes the most realistic one out of em all. The others were putting it on.
lol I feel like the cockney accent is the British equivalent of the Brooklyn accent
@Don Nitro United Kingdom used to be the largest empire this world has ever seen. Now all they have is one big island and some little ones left.
equal to Boston
aka: "now you'ze can't leave"
Thank goodness for videos like this - cockneys are an endangered species!
Nah. Plenty of us here in Essex, mate
.........and in Kent, Surrey,Herts,Middlesex and Sussex x 2 :)
Isleofskye ...and Spain...
& Cornwall & Devon 🙄😆
@@mediacenterman8583 None in the east end anymore. I was brought up by my uncle
and aunt just Saaff of the River, he was a Stevedore in Docklands, Proper people
"Where's Beadle?" Flippin' priceless, Sunshine!
"any chance of a cuppa splosh"? epic!
+Alwyn Dixon I replay it twice but can't even realize she said splosh :d
I thought she said 'Cup of squash' before I read your comment
Splosh and two sugars
I play this on my breaks at work. Helps
My mind always returns to Lock Stock when I watch these
I went to school with Vinnie Jones, Langleybury. he was tough little bugger even then.
Thats when he went, he skived off to francis combe school most of the time cos thats where his mates were
Well I think even them pretty far from this level
I’m ‘Murican and dated a Cockney. Funniest, coolest people I’ve ever met.
120 people want a dry slap!
they´r bang out of order, aint they?kkk
Marc 468 now
Are they taking a piss?
Dry slap!
@@euroyankee2003 The Piss, not "a" piss
I love cockney accent. Greetings from Italy.
i am 100% american, never left this country, not by choice...but living with so many british people in my life is making me god damn roll at this
There is a big and varied World outside the USA come and experience it , my friend :)
Word of the day: Mug!
0:38... A Chubby Brock Lesner.. He even has the UFC gloves
joe brown The only UFC we know rand 'ere boy is "U FACKING CANT"
joe brown The only UFC we know rand 'ere boy is "U FACKING CANT"
Big guy with the shaved head is legit
'You sayin I'm a shit Dad' 🤣🤣🤣
Yes sir. I am.
@@tristanband4003"You want a dry slap, my son?" :D
@@mr.kobayashi1675 Bring it on, gutter rat!
The single greatest video of all time
I was in Newcastle not long ago and I almost needed a translator. When talking to a bloke who's working on his fourth bottle of Buckfast, I may as well been talking to a Chinese. After a while you pick up on some key phrases that lets you know what they're talking about. For example, when the bar tender says "...ready for 'notha pigs ear?..." that means "are you ready for another beer?"and so on. the whole "rhyming" thing is very hard to grasp. But I had a fucking ball. You have not really partied until you get with a half dozen locals and closed down the pub on a Friday night.
“You’re a plum” 😂
" What the fuck is a GCSE? " 🤣
You're bang out of order my son! Made me think of Frank Butcher. Verrrry amuuuusing!
old frank butcher!
Mike Read's a proper geezer but Deadenders is crap, its BBC propaganda to make the world believe the East End still exists
" I never read a book in my life" lol!
I think of cockney and I think of Angela Lansbury in the old film, Gaslight
Coming from an actual Londoner (South London) who is definitely working class, I tell u now that potentially none of them were actually cockneys.... main reason is for some reason they all pronounce their T’s.... except 1 of em who drops it once. They were all putting it in.... trust me Im so London although I live in Cornwall now, last time I went there for a mates birthday everyone keep saying I sounded like Alfie Solomon’s from peaky blinders.... I was well offended, I’m from south London, don’t compare me to a north London Jew.... but seriously I’d never say ‘Naughty’ it would come out ‘Naugh-ee’, same as ‘bottle’ will be ‘bo-all’. We don’t pronounce our Ts our Hs and TH becomes F and on certain words D
YOU WHAT?!?
"Who speaks French". Best line in the clip. Bit disappointed nobody said "avit large"!!! Or "your getting right on my thrupenny bits". Nevermind maybe next time 😁👍
The girl with the posh accent at the end, hillarious. I almost died.
"Oi never read a book in moy loife."
I miss when brithish people talk like this
Few do anymore
Just to make clear - my dad and my nan were cockneys and although they had the accent, they weren't aggressive or rude. Ever. Being cockney doesn't make you a cartoon character or a stereotype.
of course you can. you can stereo type whitey all you like. just dont do it to any other ethnicity, thats a crime.
I think it's part of a broader stereotype about the lower class.
True, it's still funny. And if you can make fun of yourself, you can make fun of others too.
@@mmff5242 Why bring race into it? Cockneys come in all colours because it’s an accent, not an ethnicity. And other ethnicities are stereotyped all the time by small minded bigots, so I don’t know where you been hiding.
😊
Classic. Been laughing all day. Proper naughty.
Lost it at ".....taking the Dennis Wise, son"
I love these, they make me howl. 'Call this a school?!'
So you've enlighten me 😊
I love the accent.
This is the best of the "Cockneys" so far! 😂🤣👍🏻🇦🇺
Brilliant
"Im a proper moody geezer" lol fun stuff
I love the fact this video is still getting comments!! It was meant as a complete piss take, I should know as I'm the guy who had long hair! Enjoy it for what it is, a pods take of football factory accents and expressions!
are you in it mate?
Who're ya callin' a fac'ry ma'e?!
Every parent wants the best for their child.....
I’m crying with laughter at this 😂😂😂
252 mugs after a dry slap my son !!
Hahahaha. It's the same guys from the taxi video.
10 years ahead of its time
the absolute state of modern britain
Still funny in 2020
"What the FUCK is a GCSE"
Angry man: You mug!
Me, an American: Oh, did you need a mug? We have fresh coffee.
Angry man:....yeah, alright.
🤣A proper moody, naughty geezer.
"Where's Beadle?!" LMFAO
Lol Where's Jeremy hiding 😛
The plum gets me everytime.
You're a chief that's why
"I'm a proper, naughty moody geezer?" Is this something thats actually said? To American ears, thats one of the funniest damn things I've ever heard.
thissssssssssssssssssssssss is brilliant!!
There's a reason all orcs in Lord of the Rings speak with a cockney accent.
This school looks like a clink. lol
bfgguns Don’t they all, mate 🙄
The bloke in the black jacket is Brilliant!👍
I lost it at "Who the fuck speaks French?"
LOL
Who the fuck speaks French!?
The bloke in the whistle who kept pointing nd saying "mug" made me laugh a stain into me strides
All the birds are fit in this
“You having a (laugh) Turkish bath” lol
I was thinking Turkish delight.
I'm American but, thanks to Guy Ritchie I understood this 100%.
Next time let the girls talk
Leave it out you melt.
That's probably part of the point
Spot the Londoner “I’ll open you up like a lemon”
I'm a proper naughty moody gieser you MUG! lol
Actually I would like to point out that it is intact French people who speak French .. they are the country that has a white cross on a white background and who produce a variety of military vehicles with 2 forward gears and 13 reverse gears... They can often be found running away from most things including a can of lynx deodorant.. the woman can often be identified due to their mustaches being ever so slightly shorter than the males.. the male can also spit further.
Mug
Word of the day: Melt
Funniest thing i've seen in a long time hahahaha
Can someone write down a typical cocney wocabluary ?
dry slap
Mug!
Geeza
Mugeezah!
yoo wankah!
what are they meaning?!
Who speaks french? I can't think of anyone in the WORLD -French people- who speak french.
+Flup The Guy - not in a few hundred years.
speaks*
As a real cockney i found this funny debs xx
To borrow a line from Captain Blackadder....."In the Amazonian rainforest, there are tribes of Indians as yet untouched by human civilization that have developed more convincing cockney accents than that bloke in the red top and black coat"
I'm proper naughty.
naaaa,its PWOPA NAWTY you slaaaag.
YU WOT?
I'm a proper naught-y Moody Gee-zah
A muvver was barfin’ ‘er biby one night,
The youngest of ten and a tiny young mite,
The muuver was poor and the biby was thin,
Only a skelington covered in skin:
The muvver turned rahnd for the soap off the rack,
She was but a moment, but when she turned back,
The biby was gorn; and in anguish she cried “Oh where is my biby?”
- The angels replied:
“Your biby ‘as fell dahn the plug-‘ole,
Your biby ‘as gorn dahn the plug;
The poor little fing was so skinny and thin
‘E oughter been barfed in a jug;
Your biby is perfeckly ‘appy,
‘E won’t need a barf any more,
Your biby ‘as fell dahn the plug-‘ole
Quality haha
We used to sing this round the camp fire when I was in the Guides , thanks for the reminder
Cream recorded an acapella version of this on their album "Disraeli Gears", and titled it "Mother's Lament". Ginger Baker, Jack Bruce and Eric Clapton.
My mom used to do us in the sink.
Nikunj Kondra--- May I point out, you omitted the last line. " Not dead, just gorn before",
@alex49200 how many videos have you got ?
You're bang out of order, my son
they say mug mug mug mug and thats about it
Pretty much all the accents and pronunciations are off
#cockneyaccentfail
Damm love the cockney accent they having a laugh lol
It was an ad-lib done by Mike Reid (as Frank Butcher) in an episode of East Enders and it took off from there. It's not a classic saying but it caught on with the mockneys.