look i got Jake Gyllenhaal on meth and on my podcast - Ep. 7

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  • Опубликовано: 12 сен 2024

Комментарии • 637

  • @cheekychief2273
    @cheekychief2273 5 лет назад +3498

    Me: I want Jake Gyllenhaal
    Mom: we have Jake Gyllenhaal at home
    Jake Gyllenhaal at home:

    • @kingdrizzly4064
      @kingdrizzly4064 5 лет назад +84

      ALRIGHT 👍

    • @phwix388
      @phwix388 5 лет назад +29

      Alright 👍

    • @cheekychief2273
      @cheekychief2273 5 лет назад +15

      G Wizzy well I am a turbo virgin

    • @taloob493
      @taloob493 5 лет назад +14

      @@cheekychief2273 ALRIGHT 👍

    • @kainsourbeer350
      @kainsourbeer350 5 лет назад +2

      Cheekychief22 glad I’m not the only one that saw the resemblance

  • @AquaFPS
    @AquaFPS 5 лет назад +1408

    never been so comfortable in my life

    • @sliceofham3737
      @sliceofham3737 5 лет назад +17

      Alright

    • @breadpilled2587
      @breadpilled2587 4 года назад +143

      I hate when pornos have a ton of plot in the beginning. like just skip to the pounding already

    • @youngwindmillgang3239
      @youngwindmillgang3239 4 года назад +7

      @@breadpilled2587 aye the story line is so good tho

    • @avireycain7344
      @avireycain7344 4 года назад +2

      You look like you wanna call your mom to pick you up its okay aqua.. sam cant hurt you anymore

    • @drgr0ovy677
      @drgr0ovy677 4 года назад +1

      @@breadpilled2587 The meat n' potatas?

  • @darraghbrowne8478
    @darraghbrowne8478 5 лет назад +897

    This is whats in the beyond section in bed bathroom and beyond

  • @iwanttodie7199
    @iwanttodie7199 5 лет назад +915

    When you can't meet with Jake gyllenhaal so you buy the Walmart edition

    • @senorlopez1412
      @senorlopez1412 5 лет назад +13

      Looks more like something ordered off Wish

    • @gr4nt497
      @gr4nt497 5 лет назад +3

      I think it’s more of a Craigslist version

    • @joecool2721
      @joecool2721 3 года назад

      Kirkland brand

  • @MushroomGoblinWitch
    @MushroomGoblinWitch 5 лет назад +1986

    Sam out of breath for getting back in bed is something Abby has to hear every night

  • @Grethemsky
    @Grethemsky 5 лет назад +1508

    so this is the guy who fixed dayz, huh?

    • @mienski0
      @mienski0 5 лет назад +29

      Adam himself

    • @zackzimovan1551
      @zackzimovan1551 5 лет назад +16

      how was this commented 5 days ago

    • @albinorhino6597
      @albinorhino6597 5 лет назад +2

      @@zackzimovan1551 might be a patron thing

    • @Grethemsky
      @Grethemsky 5 лет назад +5

      @@zackzimovan1551 I shill to Sam on Patreon

    • @GreenGhostLive
      @GreenGhostLive 5 лет назад

      How tf did you post this 5 days ago

  • @jaxon_hill
    @jaxon_hill 5 лет назад +1222

    Yknow the more I hear about this aqua character, the less I care for him

    • @M.TTT.
      @M.TTT. 5 лет назад +3

      aqua aqua

    • @TrapsAreNotGayButILikelyLong
      @TrapsAreNotGayButILikelyLong 5 лет назад +61

      Did you that the queensboro bridge opened up on 1901 costing 300 million to get off but nowadays 15$ and pair of good hand is all that's needed to get me off

    • @TheTaco5645
      @TheTaco5645 5 лет назад +6

      Sounds like a real Turd Ferguson

    • @darthjesus7959
      @darthjesus7959 4 года назад +1

      @@TrapsAreNotGayButILikelyLong that was fucking amazing man. this line is actually legendary

    • @TrapsAreNotGayButILikelyLong
      @TrapsAreNotGayButILikelyLong 4 года назад +1

      @@darthjesus7959 thanks

  • @VOYAGEUR-YT
    @VOYAGEUR-YT 5 лет назад +242

    Gotta love Sam asking the one question he had planned for Aqua and then immediately changing the topic to underage sex before Aqua could finish his answer and never coming back to it.

    • @TotalNegan
      @TotalNegan 4 года назад +1

      I thought Aqua said he was into Diablo 2 and WoW classic?

    • @VOYAGEUR-YT
      @VOYAGEUR-YT 4 года назад +12

      @@TotalNegan
      Ya but he was just about dive deeper into it and Sam changed the subject

  • @eelshark12345
    @eelshark12345 5 лет назад +595

    I really appreciate Sam had his feet on camera. Truly shows how much he cares about the fans.

  • @ChuloInYourCulo
    @ChuloInYourCulo 5 лет назад +706

    Dude, I'm just waiting for these 2 alpha Chad's to kiss already

    • @bl252649
      @bl252649 5 лет назад +18

      Patreon

    • @taloob493
      @taloob493 5 лет назад +27

      I want nothing more or less than a hardcore make out session between daddy samnite and baked Gyllenhaal

    • @TheCrocodileKing
      @TheCrocodileKing 4 года назад

      4 20 likes................nice

    • @g449
      @g449 4 года назад +3

      Broke-back bedroom.

    • @zjinn305
      @zjinn305 3 года назад

      @@g449 lmao underrated comment

  • @duckh0le859
    @duckh0le859 5 лет назад +601

    Such an abusive relationship. I hope aqua finds the courage to leave sam someday.

    • @donatter1042
      @donatter1042 5 лет назад +44

      duckh0le Ik right? But sadly he stays for the sick merch. And as long as Sam has sick merch(which is appropriate priced btw) he won’t leave

    • @Nigel_Camilleri
      @Nigel_Camilleri 4 года назад +5

      @@donatter1042 i mean he does want to wear cool clothes

    • @stevenbrown5246
      @stevenbrown5246 4 года назад +2

      Sam's grooming process involved removing all of Aqua's other incomes, so he's his only source of goods and information
      quite sad, really

    • @mwaters421
      @mwaters421 3 года назад

      Hahaha

    • @thisguyissuperhandsome
      @thisguyissuperhandsome 3 года назад

      no Aqua is far to pussying to fight a golden god like sam

  • @Dak-xf5qj
    @Dak-xf5qj 5 лет назад +1681

    Great podcast! Although I didn't like the part where Aqua started talking about how Germany should have won World War Two. I really didn't get that part.

    • @akatoshdragon-godoftime5619
      @akatoshdragon-godoftime5619 4 года назад +133

      Yea, the part where he started talking about the stab in the back by, what did he call it? "Gold merchants"?

    • @lvoss4life
      @lvoss4life 4 года назад +110

      Only real gamers know Germany did nothing wrong

    • @nicofromtheweb4891
      @nicofromtheweb4891 4 года назад +2

      @Aniquin that's a melon minion

    • @kpaco8
      @kpaco8 4 года назад +2

      Dakota Delong we gotta keep the comment on 666 likes

    • @Critterfurr
      @Critterfurr 4 года назад +9

      If hitlario never invaded Russia we would all be speaking German right now

  • @billion4091
    @billion4091 5 лет назад +539

    you could hear sams heavy breathing after he had made the arduous journey of plugging the camera in and crawling back into bed

    • @Thighmangler
      @Thighmangler 5 лет назад +32

      Hey that's a lot of work for a jewstein like him

  • @creepstaasucks8648
    @creepstaasucks8648 5 лет назад +221

    Sam honestly makes some of the most entertaining content on this website

    • @seamusriley3532
      @seamusriley3532 5 лет назад +12

      Most underrated tuber imo

    • @UserXIII7
      @UserXIII7 4 года назад +2

      Creepstaa Sucks him and ssethtzeentach

    • @idolofinequity4316
      @idolofinequity4316 3 года назад +1

      Uhhh there's this other guy called general Sam, he is the best

  • @logmo7959
    @logmo7959 5 лет назад +169

    my high ass actually thought that was Jake Gyllenhaal for a second

    • @phwix388
      @phwix388 5 лет назад +5

      Logmo bro I thought it was until 37:46 then my friend called me retarded

    • @juice6199
      @juice6199 4 года назад +12

      @@phwix388 Your friend seems like a good guy.

    • @rinnnnnnnnnnrin
      @rinnnnnnnnnnrin 4 года назад +2

      @@juice6199 lol when friends are close enough then they dont care what they get called by you. Depends on the person though

  • @notoliver1674
    @notoliver1674 5 лет назад +156

    Good thing Abby won’t watch this.... but aqua’s dad will.

    • @taloob493
      @taloob493 5 лет назад +13

      We need daddy aqua on the podcast now

    • @notoliver1674
      @notoliver1674 5 лет назад +2

      taloob true.

  • @xxnig_nogxx4760
    @xxnig_nogxx4760 5 лет назад +353

    why does sams facial features look like they're squished into the middle of his face

    • @kill3rbamb146
      @kill3rbamb146 5 лет назад +13

      Because he's high as shit

    • @ryankl1984
      @ryankl1984 5 лет назад +48

      Because half his head is forehead

    • @reada4488
      @reada4488 5 лет назад +19

      xXnig_nogXx theyre all gravitating towards his nose

    • @thepressexpress3276
      @thepressexpress3276 5 лет назад +2

      Because he's fat

    • @Gaming_Legend2
      @Gaming_Legend2 4 года назад +1

      i love how toxic the comment section is in a funny way

  • @duffinthemuffin5792
    @duffinthemuffin5792 5 лет назад +185

    We require Sam to wear a robe on every podcast from now on

  • @Ser_Locke
    @Ser_Locke 5 лет назад +303

    Guys if Sam can be married then I'm sure we all have a shot

    • @jackvernian7779
      @jackvernian7779 5 лет назад +55

      let's wait until he goes bald rapidly gets a beer belly and starts rants about "Abby took the kids"

    • @samdango3776
      @samdango3776 4 года назад

      I'm not serious enough...

    • @leeharden4060
      @leeharden4060 4 года назад +12

      It’s a fluke. He has that Jewish gold

  • @Denjii_ttv
    @Denjii_ttv 5 лет назад +371

    Dang dude the sexual tension in this episode is strong

    • @xx_harold_xx7394
      @xx_harold_xx7394 5 лет назад +22

      You took my comment from last episode you little jew

    • @tool3142
      @tool3142 5 лет назад +6

      @@xx_harold_xx7394 oh harold

  • @abdurog1122a
    @abdurog1122a 5 лет назад +110

    Aqua looks like a mix of Jake Gyllenhaal and Seth Rogen

  • @micah8168
    @micah8168 5 лет назад +45

    Aqua looks like when you press randomize on oblivion

  • @ovs8691
    @ovs8691 5 лет назад +92

    You want to feel like you're about to die without actually dying, come to South Africa.

    • @Travisious
      @Travisious 5 лет назад +15

      You mean if you're white?

    • @ovs8691
      @ovs8691 5 лет назад +8

      @@ryankl1984 Sam doesn't need to know about that

  • @YognautsUnite
    @YognautsUnite 5 лет назад +50

    finally, you got aqua. was waiting for this since this podcast took off bc i knew it was inevitable

  • @iacobibrasiliensium2139
    @iacobibrasiliensium2139 5 лет назад +88

    2:47 Aqua is cheating on his wife with a pre-op transgender lesbian named Samantha

  • @xx_harold_xx7394
    @xx_harold_xx7394 5 лет назад +167

    14:39 this is the closest AquaFPS has ever come to calling sam fat with a joke just look at his eyes as he resist calling sam the Elephant

    • @Vartrog
      @Vartrog 5 лет назад +5

      Bruh how are you commenting on this 6 days ago

    • @vanguard9015
      @vanguard9015 5 лет назад +14

      @@Vartrog patreon u noob

    • @TheDonUrbas
      @TheDonUrbas 5 лет назад +32

      Oh we got a richboi over here

    • @vlad3223
      @vlad3223 4 года назад

      @@TheDonUrbas 5 $ a month isnt anything close to rich

    • @buttnuttz6119
      @buttnuttz6119 4 года назад +3

      vammennn having disposable income sounds pretty rich to me

  • @bananabames8184
    @bananabames8184 5 лет назад +39

    Take a sip whenever Aqua says "Like"

  • @wulfske
    @wulfske 4 года назад +36

    29:16-30:06
    Aqua says “like” ~13 times in 50 seconds.

    • @at9670
      @at9670 4 года назад +3

      He is a bot, controlled by Putin

    • @strawberryshortcake1258
      @strawberryshortcake1258 3 года назад

      15 or 16 damn

    • @zachlasseter9788
      @zachlasseter9788 3 года назад

      Oh you should see kyle on PKA. he triples up on it. Likelikelike begins almost every sentence.

  • @CnoteVillainDopeSickRecords
    @CnoteVillainDopeSickRecords 5 лет назад +16

    i like how the camera turned off and aqua goes "oh look"

  • @nathanhanna5374
    @nathanhanna5374 4 года назад +7

    Sam I rewatch all of your videos, I've watched most of your videos 3 or 4 times just to kill time and cheer me up while I'm dealing with college and work stress and just wanted you to know you fr make my general well being better dude and I'm so glad your channel is growing.

  • @wiizles8147
    @wiizles8147 5 лет назад +30

    the wheeeeeeezes are just abnormal

  • @oldtimetinfoilhatwearer
    @oldtimetinfoilhatwearer 5 лет назад +21

    Abby sounds like a real battle axe

  • @LowSkillSurvival
    @LowSkillSurvival 4 года назад +12

    "Noone has more finesse than serial killers. They're like artists."
    General Sam, 2019

  • @wealllame
    @wealllame 5 лет назад +43

    is this a brokeback mountain sequel?

  • @joshbryan8028
    @joshbryan8028 5 лет назад +54

    I remember when u told us that u had inseminated Abby that aqua knew the whole time and didn't spill. That was positive

  • @GenePPig
    @GenePPig 4 года назад +10

    "Nobody has more finesse than a serial killer, they're like artists."
    -General Sam

  • @daltonbuckman4818
    @daltonbuckman4818 3 года назад +6

    YO MY GIRLFRIEND JUST CALLED ME WHILE I WAS WATCHING IT AND WHEN THE VIDEO CAME BACK ON IT CAME BACK AT 4:19 WHERE SAM SAID "Did your phone just go off in the middle of my podcast?" HOLY SHIT

  • @iii9804
    @iii9804 5 лет назад +88

    I really don't even know who the top is in this relationship

    • @denol8391
      @denol8391 5 лет назад +14

      Both of them manage to be top at the same time

    • @roundthehanging1238
      @roundthehanging1238 5 лет назад +17

      Sam is a power bottom don't @ me

    • @shiftyjim4138
      @shiftyjim4138 4 года назад +5

      Tf it’s 100% Sam

    • @thisguy1890
      @thisguy1890 4 года назад +3

      Aqua let's Sam top because he knows it makes Sam feel like a big man.

    • @Hoffmayne
      @Hoffmayne 3 года назад +2

      Neither, they just bash asses.

  • @treark9648
    @treark9648 5 лет назад +4

    The pure amount of wheezing is how you know your watching sam and that your in for an enjoyable video

  • @renthevillain1885
    @renthevillain1885 5 лет назад +14

    Why do i alwaya get "Adult Swim" vibes from this channel lol

  • @lesbiansaregoodandch
    @lesbiansaregoodandch 4 года назад +2

    I literally said out loud that the rock murdered epstein when you asked aqua. I see you're a man of class.

  • @XskiXedgeX
    @XskiXedgeX 5 лет назад +30

    *Aqua "DayZ is fixed" FPS*

  • @dizzlerizzle2775
    @dizzlerizzle2775 4 года назад +3

    im a big fan of aqua, the only reason why is when he started of the videos with," do you want to wear cool clothes, link in the discription"

  • @luckycat4413
    @luckycat4413 4 года назад +2

    Bruh I do not watch podcasts, they make me yawn and sleep but when I watch the Forehead Fables Podcast I laugh. This is as good as your regular content

  • @UnfitToLive
    @UnfitToLive 5 лет назад +25

    Explosive residue on Sam's hands is actually just what comes out of a Jew's nose when they blow it.
    It needs some help getting some oomph with all that space the air has to escape.

  • @levigriffin4314
    @levigriffin4314 4 года назад +6

    When he mentioned backgammon I genuinely felt my blood rise.

  • @JTO1214
    @JTO1214 5 лет назад +8

    The Adventures of General Man and Aqua Kid!!!

  • @Sebastian-fn1qg
    @Sebastian-fn1qg 5 лет назад +6

    Dude... the aspect ratio makes me so happy to full screen.

  • @Stokurev_
    @Stokurev_ 5 лет назад +12

    25:15 That's just gold

  • @gideon6607
    @gideon6607 5 лет назад +33

    This is a lost episode of Bert and Ernie

  • @darthjesus7959
    @darthjesus7959 4 года назад +5

    "bizzlesnaff makes The Dude look like he's high strung" -Sam 2019

  • @pig420
    @pig420 4 года назад +5

    32:34 That might have been one of the greatest jokes I heard for some reason

  • @SketchyChicken281
    @SketchyChicken281 5 лет назад +5

    Best podcast I listen to, thanks for the content Sam!

  • @robynhighart2026
    @robynhighart2026 5 лет назад +18

    Sam: wife bad

  • @toomuchtug8345
    @toomuchtug8345 2 года назад +3

    I worked in TSA 10 years. Explosive residue is slang for seman.

  • @ElectricBulletZZ
    @ElectricBulletZZ 4 года назад +15

    We need brian on the podcast, but in person

    • @IKillCops4Fun
      @IKillCops4Fun 4 года назад +1

      ElectricBulletZ I’m pretty sure Sam has said in the past he’s super introverted and basically a recluse but I agree, Brian is fucking hilarious.

  • @rotobracca
    @rotobracca 3 года назад +1

    spat my food out when I heard 'youve got a head like an anvil'

  • @planetvaporwave9055
    @planetvaporwave9055 5 лет назад +3

    The thumbnail I deadass thought you had Actual Jake handcuffed to the bed

  • @Chris-df4ds
    @Chris-df4ds 5 лет назад +8

    So I went through 9 years of school peeing the wrong way in a urinal

  • @Idothinkysaurus
    @Idothinkysaurus 5 лет назад +4

    An hour of mom and dad not fighting. I'm so happy.

  • @twisted8ight
    @twisted8ight 3 года назад +2

    I love how Aqua just looks like he's casually relaxing, but Sam looks like he's hospitalized.

  • @monneyman8848
    @monneyman8848 4 года назад +1

    i love when right at the the end sam just bonks his head on the mic

  • @buttnuttz6119
    @buttnuttz6119 4 года назад +3

    "Death row victims" - General Sam

  • @fitz3852
    @fitz3852 4 года назад +1

    This is the first time I have actually finished a 1 hour video in one go, and with Sam in it it felt like 5 minutes

  • @2funnyguys1
    @2funnyguys1 5 лет назад +8

    12:06 gosh that up skirt though

  • @nwall989898
    @nwall989898 4 года назад +3

    It’s like watching “Step Brothers” in real life. 😂 they didn’t book you two rooms cause you woulda turned them into bunk beds

  • @tylerg4333
    @tylerg4333 5 лет назад

    @Forehead Fables Podcast Please keep a clock in the podcast. Dude I might be high as shit but seeing both people in the same frame and the clock is beyond satisfying.

  • @besk2961
    @besk2961 5 лет назад +5

    Sam is a natural leader

  • @grimreefer9324
    @grimreefer9324 3 года назад +2

    36:11 look at him slyly ask Sam that and then grin at the camera

  • @rukijo
    @rukijo 5 лет назад +1

    Been waiting!! Lmao, y'all are my favorite youtubers for real. Thank you for all the great content, keep up the grind my dudes!

  • @amon9827
    @amon9827 5 лет назад +3

    Sam youre doing good with this podcast thing, keep doing it.

  • @cruz1816
    @cruz1816 4 года назад +5

    Sam hit aqua with the old Weinstein

  • @damon6801
    @damon6801 4 года назад +7

    “On Jah”

  • @cryptic9511
    @cryptic9511 5 лет назад +16

    Why does Aqua always look depressed? You good man?

    • @smalwex
      @smalwex 5 лет назад +7

      He's friends with Sam it'll happen

  • @crispedurchin6186
    @crispedurchin6186 5 лет назад +2

    General Sam and Aqua FPS porno never seemed closer

  • @rohansorensen1222
    @rohansorensen1222 5 лет назад +1

    Notice how aqua crosses his legs when they start to talk middle school sex

  • @duckeggs9000
    @duckeggs9000 5 лет назад +1

    sam I just wanted you to know listening to your shitty podcasts makes my day a minuscule amount better and I wanted to thank you for that

  • @Psyrusx
    @Psyrusx 5 лет назад +1

    This duo is one of my favs 😂 These podcasts are all so fucking good though

  • @myballshurt3546
    @myballshurt3546 5 лет назад +3

    I feel like awkkwah is so stressed, but at the same time happy.
    Sam is so ripped, that he couldn’t even get a question out lol. Good podcast though

  • @siffertime1642
    @siffertime1642 4 года назад +1

    Watch you explain weed while tripping my mouth out was great

  • @coolcoop89
    @coolcoop89 5 лет назад +3

    We we will never know sexual tension that may have transpired when the camera battery died.

  • @chaplainyoinkerton
    @chaplainyoinkerton 3 года назад +1

    Aqua looks like he's in a constant state of a coked up acid trip

  • @WilliamBonka
    @WilliamBonka 5 лет назад +1

    If you watch Norm Macdonald and then watch Sam you’ll notice he has picked up a lot of gestures and mannerisms of his, and it’s glorious

  • @OddTJ
    @OddTJ 4 года назад +1

    That moment around 36:00 when Aqua said "so you're mean to people you like" and looked knowingly at the camera...

  • @olivershagnasty8160
    @olivershagnasty8160 5 лет назад +2

    Sam has made me feel like a good gamer dad. Many a hunter has been lost to baby shit.

  • @studman1169
    @studman1169 5 лет назад +3

    The sexual tension is unbelievable....

  • @xander1226
    @xander1226 4 года назад +6

    The RAW sexual tension just flooded over me from watching this.

  • @arbiter-
    @arbiter- 4 года назад +1

    "Jake Gyllenhaal with genitals I understand"

  • @edheffernan8289
    @edheffernan8289 5 лет назад +5

    Can I get the link for that Max Mears vid?

  • @mauzer4457
    @mauzer4457 5 лет назад +7

    didn't i see this video already?

  • @Sparckie
    @Sparckie 3 года назад +1

    These 2 bros are so old that their idea of "sports" is their fond memories of the very first Olympics in ancient Greece

  • @bart2607
    @bart2607 4 года назад +1

    Take a shot for every time aqua says like you will probably die

  • @_Jesus_Christ_
    @_Jesus_Christ_ 5 лет назад +3

    12:30 sam get winded getting out of bed

  • @thegentlemenrat3727
    @thegentlemenrat3727 3 года назад

    Saved immediately to playlist

  • @matthewhinkel6079
    @matthewhinkel6079 11 месяцев назад

    I saw BR back in 04, I think I was a sophmore. That definitely made an impression.

  • @_saintyork_2333
    @_saintyork_2333 5 лет назад +2

    Took me 17 years but I finally learned how to piss

  • @midgetman4206
    @midgetman4206 4 года назад +1

    1:59 Sam, I see you checkin that out

  • @pironiero
    @pironiero 5 лет назад

    21 by 9 FUCKING HELL
    PROPERLY RENDERED ASPECT RATIO OMFG THANK YOU SAM!

  • @cringemeat3331
    @cringemeat3331 5 лет назад +2

    Damn aqua be looking like my old art teacher

  • @ranger_speedy6687
    @ranger_speedy6687 3 года назад

    How did I literally just see thus video I’ve watched so many of these podcast and absolutely love Aqua and sam AND YET NEVER SEEN THIS INE