Gay Jokes - Bill Maher

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  • Опубликовано: 26 окт 2024

Комментарии • 173

  • @reidhanson4827
    @reidhanson4827 3 года назад +57

    I’m gay and I freaking love Maher’s gay jokes, because underneath them you know he’s on our side.

  • @edgartriay8485
    @edgartriay8485 3 года назад +51

    Bill Maher, you're almost at Joan Rivers level on the gay jokes.
    I'm not offended by any of them. I enjoy them. Thank you.

  • @robertschooner1812
    @robertschooner1812 3 года назад +107

    I'm gay and I think he's funny as hell! If you can't laugh at yourself you need to be made fun of.

    • @A22DNAL
      @A22DNAL 3 года назад +11

      Dude, say it! Humor is humor!

    • @gordonsmith4493
      @gordonsmith4493 Год назад +1

      You are right there. Laughing at one's self is an endearing quality. Sadly it's being drowned on a murky cesspool of political correctness and wokeness. PS. Stay as you are.

    • @robertschooner1812
      @robertschooner1812 Год назад

      @@gordonsmith4493 I would rather be a woke than asleep.

    • @jcrodriguez6324
      @jcrodriguez6324 10 месяцев назад

      Bud that’s cause you understand that what he’s making fun of is the hypocrisy of the homophobic conservative

  • @generalerica4123
    @generalerica4123 5 лет назад +163

    "...20!"
    Neil DeGrasse Tyson. Ladies and gentlefolks, our favorite astrophysicist has done it again.

    • @accskaguy
      @accskaguy 4 года назад +25

      Unless Glen likes getting caught, the answer is 19. Just a thought.

    • @Luisventuralaw
      @Luisventuralaw 4 года назад +5

      @@accskaguy
      I immediately thought the same.

    • @DeusEx.Machina
      @DeusEx.Machina 3 года назад +3

      @@accskaguy The Park Ranger is Glen’s boyfriend.

    • @hijodelaisla275
      @hijodelaisla275 3 года назад +2

      @@accskaguy That's Glenn, with two Ns - Glen with one N is NOT gay.

    • @mattkastely1938
      @mattkastely1938 3 года назад +1

      That’s me. Figure out the math, no matter what.

  • @henryw1002
    @henryw1002 4 года назад +95

    "They called him a Navy Seal ......... NOT because he was in Special Forces, Cause he was Always Balancing Balls on his Nose" LOL.

  • @oenrn
    @oenrn 3 года назад +16

    The best part is that in "A brief history of Tim: from the big bang to black holes", that's the real subtitle with a whole new meaning.

  • @tahitiantreats
    @tahitiantreats 5 лет назад +92

    I’m gay, and I approve these jokes. 👍
    LOL I love Bill Maher!

    • @tahitiantreats
      @tahitiantreats 5 лет назад +10

      Just kidding Bill doesn’t need my approval or anyone else’s. He can say whatever he wants so long as it’s still a free country.

    • @jed-henrywitkowski6470
      @jed-henrywitkowski6470 4 года назад

      @@tahitiantreats Hell yeah.

    • @chopin65
      @chopin65 3 года назад +2

      Yeah. Me too. I keep thinking someone will expect us to be triggered. But I showed this to my boyfriend, and he laughed too.

  • @stevodfn
    @stevodfn 2 года назад +15

    As a gay man I loved all of these. It only shows that Bill is knows the subject well and isn't just pushing rude insults. And why should anyone be exempt of being made fun of?

  • @bradleyrichard
    @bradleyrichard 3 года назад +8

    Attention all male stand-up comics...THIS is how you make gay jokes! I laughed at every single one of these moments. I won't name names, but there are a FUCK-ton of straight male comedians who think making jokes at the expense of the LGBT community is perfectly acceptable; but then they go and do it the wrong way. If you want some examples on how to poke fun at gay men and not be an asshole about it...Bill Maher is your source. He's also been an amazing ally. I'm sure he'll never read this comment, but I really do want to thank him for knowing how to be an ally AND know how to make jokes about us that actually make us laugh.

  • @stevesorrell9835
    @stevesorrell9835 5 лет назад +99

    I don't care which side of the aisle you're on! That shit's hilarious 😹 Good on ya!

    • @thunderforthrc7457
      @thunderforthrc7457 5 лет назад

      So true one of the best compilations

    • @ingriddubbel8468
      @ingriddubbel8468 4 года назад

      Its good for you NOT good on you.

    • @stevesorrell9835
      @stevesorrell9835 4 года назад +1

      Ingrid Dubbel
      Oops! I forgot. RUclips is where one goes, when he desires to have his use of colloquialisms corrected by a total stranger.
      Thank you. I'll try harder 👍🏻

  • @kenbaker-ps6ej
    @kenbaker-ps6ej Год назад +1

    How many people used the calculator on their phone and thought, “Holy shit. The answer is 20”?

  • @chopin65
    @chopin65 3 года назад +55

    I am gay, and I laughed at everyone one of these jokes. I almost peed myself a couple times, so, thanks Bill.

    • @xhagast
      @xhagast 3 года назад +3

      Lol, they are not anti gay, they are anti hypocrite.

    • @chopin65
      @chopin65 3 года назад +3

      @@xhagast Exactly. They're real. I completely respect Bill. He keeps you honest.

  • @katherynemero9355
    @katherynemero9355 5 лет назад +99

    If they had gay math when I was growing up, I might have actually paid attention. Maybe.

    • @Zeldarw104
      @Zeldarw104 5 лет назад +2

      Hahahahaha!! 😂😂😂You're not allowed to be funnier than bill?! 😁

    • @lewilewis3944
      @lewilewis3944 5 лет назад

      Nah

    • @rodrigobraz2
      @rodrigobraz2 4 года назад +2

      Yes, she is.

    • @kellymarkel576
      @kellymarkel576 4 года назад

      This has nothing to do with the gay thing. I'm your age, you're my male doppelganger fala we have some of the same views. They just in Florida where I live, made the social distancing in the middle of a pandemic mandatory except in church. When they all die and it gets crazy here I wonder where their God will be then? So fucked up

  • @karlwashington6414
    @karlwashington6414 4 года назад +24

    Charlie in my chocolate factory 🤣

  • @nomorebushz
    @nomorebushz 4 года назад +25

    I’m gay. This was hilarious!

    • @nomorebushz
      @nomorebushz 4 года назад

      K C
      I felt like saying it. I was trying to provoke you personally.
      So there! :-)

    • @nomorebushz
      @nomorebushz 4 года назад

      K C
      I can see the point on top of your head :-)

    • @kevineug
      @kevineug 4 года назад

      @K C Because they were not making jokes about feet. You see my point?

    • @kevineug
      @kevineug 4 года назад

      @K C i think you are a little off on this one. It would be more personal

    • @bradlocken2621
      @bradlocken2621 3 года назад

      Doesn’t matter if you’re gay or not, they are just jokes. Nothing serious

  • @Nighthawk-m9u
    @Nighthawk-m9u 4 года назад +2

    Just gems, Bill....pure and simple.
    Put 'em together and you got one fine necklace.!

  • @jesus-of-cheeses
    @jesus-of-cheeses 3 года назад +10

    It’s actually 19 or less, because the time it takes to perform the actual inspection is not 0.

    • @hijodelaisla275
      @hijodelaisla275 3 года назад

      I suspect NdGT of being unfamiliar with tearooms and lavatory inspections.
      What's an "actual inspection"? Anything like an inspection?

  • @edgartriay8485
    @edgartriay8485 3 года назад +3

    Love it. Thank you!

  • @leisurefarm
    @leisurefarm 5 лет назад +5

    oh thank you so much! I couldn't get enough of it!

  • @mikelayton3810
    @mikelayton3810 5 лет назад +41

    Not saying Jesus was gay, but he spent all his time with 12 other guys and wore a dress.

  • @mazactal6063
    @mazactal6063 5 лет назад +13

    Beyond brilliant ..... thanks Bill.

  • @carljones7466
    @carljones7466 4 года назад +7

    I love gay jokes and iam gay better a sense of humour than a life of ignorance

  • @joshuaalexander4984
    @joshuaalexander4984 3 года назад +8

    And this is why free speach is so important! Otherwise we may never laugh 🤣

    • @hijodelaisla275
      @hijodelaisla275 3 года назад +2

      And don't forget about free speech, too!

    • @aaazzz090
      @aaazzz090 Год назад

      Agreed 100 percent,,,

  • @friendsoftheamazonjungle
    @friendsoftheamazonjungle 3 года назад +2

    Gay jokes are cool 😂😂😂 Greetings from the Northern Peruvian Amazon Jungle 🇵🇪🌴❤️🙏

  • @wolfstar675
    @wolfstar675 3 года назад +3

    I'm hilarious and this was gay!

  • @richardthomas5852
    @richardthomas5852 3 года назад +3

    Only Maher could get away with this. 🤣🤣🤣

  • @kevsuc
    @kevsuc 3 года назад +3

    My favorite that I found in another RUclips video, about a new rule of Bill dislikes the idea of gay frat club: "fraternities is for fucking assholes, NOT for fucking assholes!!"

  • @nickbarcheck1019
    @nickbarcheck1019 3 года назад +3

    I'm gay and this shit is hysterical.

  • @Lendor100
    @Lendor100 5 лет назад +12

    I love Neil, the Nerd king, but it obviously takes a gay nerd to answer this one, since the answer is 19. So be careful Glenn....

  • @ShovelChef
    @ShovelChef 5 лет назад +22

    See, this is why I fux wit Neil. He is very often my kind of pedantic. My kind of nerd. What other famous person would actually answer that absurd, raunchy word problem, accurately, without flinching? I can't think of anyone. 😌👏👏👏👏 (0:22)

    • @desertdaisymarie6951
      @desertdaisymarie6951 5 лет назад +1

      I’m not famous but I would..

    • @poowawatv6178
      @poowawatv6178 5 лет назад

      i used to but tbh hes a perv...youll see

    • @anonUK
      @anonUK 5 лет назад

      5 per hour. Pretty straightforward.

  • @JB-oq6kc
    @JB-oq6kc 3 года назад +3

    Funny, as always!

  • @gigig6021
    @gigig6021 5 лет назад +23

    Anthonyyyyyyy!!!😭😭😭😭😭

  • @michaeloftaoism
    @michaeloftaoism 3 года назад +4

    RIP Anthony! 😔

  • @primeror
    @primeror 5 лет назад +5

    Love you Bill

  • @MrPlaiedes
    @MrPlaiedes 5 лет назад +15

    RIP, anthony!! Ugh

  • @stephanmatuteschulz6209
    @stephanmatuteschulz6209 Год назад

    Anthony Bourdain! Wow, now im said after all the laughter...

  • @AndrewJamesMcQuinn
    @AndrewJamesMcQuinn 3 года назад +1

    Maher has always been pro human rights, anti church, and absolutely NOT homophobic.

  • @michaelpreston233
    @michaelpreston233 4 года назад

    Wow! 'Some Real Comedy.

  • @biz2130
    @biz2130 3 года назад +2

    Screw political correctness and Bill this the man!!

  • @jamesjackovich5886
    @jamesjackovich5886 3 года назад +2

    If Larry Craig is in the stall next to you how many fingers should be waving at you?

  • @sagnikparida
    @sagnikparida 4 года назад +2

    Hey, guys, can anybody figure out the original title of the made-up book, Bill mentions at 6:27? Thanks. (It's bugging me)

    • @jenniferhart559
      @jenniferhart559 4 года назад +1

      It might be "Every Inch a King" (?)
      The cover somewhat resembles too stellabooks.com/books/mrs-j-worthington-bliss/every-inch-a-king/625714

    • @sagnikparida
      @sagnikparida 4 года назад +2

      @@jenniferhart559 Yeah, seems so. Thanks.

  • @michaelsexton8650
    @michaelsexton8650 4 года назад +5

    DeGrasse Tyson was wrong. The answer was 19. 20 would get the guy caught

    • @konstantinopoulos33
      @konstantinopoulos33 3 года назад

      To be fair Bill didn’t ask how many without getting caught, just how many. He can do 20, then get caught and prevented from doing more. That’s one more than if he doesn’t get caught, so 20 is the maximum...

  • @karlwashington6414
    @karlwashington6414 4 года назад +3

    They could tell without asking

  • @aklm79
    @aklm79 3 года назад +1

    Hilarious!!! 🤣 🤣 🤣

  • @حمزه-ش8ع
    @حمزه-ش8ع 5 лет назад +19

    “20”

  • @jokendrick2124
    @jokendrick2124 2 года назад +1

    Funnnnny!!!

  • @thatguy22441
    @thatguy22441 5 лет назад +12

    What Navy guys call "snorkeling", Army guys call "Arabian Goggles" or the "Roman War Helmet." It isn't actually homoerotic. It's really juvenile, though.
    Speaking of gays in the military, I saw the attitude go from severe homophobia to utter indifference. Between 9-11, Iraq, Afghanistan, BRAC (Base Realignment And Closure, re-flagging units, closing installations...basically a mass reorganization) during the middle of a two-front war and guys doing multiple deployments, the issue of homosexuality in the ranks became far less pressing. In fact, our attitude became that it wasn't very manly to let it get to you. Anyone who let that get to him would let other things get to him and would become a liability in a firefight.
    Our stoic attitude was another example of that "toxic masculinity" feminists go on and on about.

  • @seanxu2517
    @seanxu2517 5 лет назад +13

    Hahahaha hahahahahaha

  • @michelheroux3786
    @michelheroux3786 5 лет назад +8

    He's funny, vaut a bit crazy!!!

  • @canocano5480
    @canocano5480 3 года назад

    A+

  • @sylkelster
    @sylkelster 3 года назад

    Answer can't be twenty unless the inspections last 0 time.

  • @Posijax
    @Posijax 3 года назад

    Nice

  • @MuhammedMuhammed-vd5or
    @MuhammedMuhammed-vd5or 5 лет назад +2

    ohh my god ... this is beyound funy ..

  • @jackcherbourg2899
    @jackcherbourg2899 2 года назад

    Hardly a Navy seal, more like a Navy bear

  • @tehutibrim594
    @tehutibrim594 4 года назад +1

    A walkout kloset, this guy

  • @bonniemccarley3355
    @bonniemccarley3355 5 лет назад +2

    WAIT,WAIT YOU ARE MY PRETTY BOY

  • @jamesjackovich5886
    @jamesjackovich5886 3 года назад

    If your an astronaut that's loves to land on Uranus

  • @wirechair
    @wirechair Год назад

    :58 the answer is not 20. If the question is how many you can do between check ins then you can do 19 and will be finishing the 19th on the 4th hour or 240th minute. 20 would be starting on the 240th minute but that would be when the park ranger is returning and you cannot actually afford to start it then. It won’t be between check ins. That’s the correct math and even the world renowned physicist got it wrong.

    • @ChiSam-kw5jk
      @ChiSam-kw5jk Год назад

      Even a black genius is stupid by any standard measure.

  • @mikeharrison4846
    @mikeharrison4846 3 года назад

    Funny man !

  • @ingriddubbel8468
    @ingriddubbel8468 4 года назад +2

    They don't teach actual history in public schools.

    • @TheBeatle49
      @TheBeatle49 4 года назад

      I agree! Especially in the South where they skip over slavery.

  • @FrankValenzuelajr
    @FrankValenzuelajr 8 месяцев назад

    That is everyone’s to damn sensitive you got it right

  • @blakeandersen4975
    @blakeandersen4975 4 года назад +1

    😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

  • @mariaavery1212
    @mariaavery1212 Год назад

    They can if the were heels. They do have heels for men. Le Bron James did.

  • @mikejackson5666
    @mikejackson5666 Год назад

    Gay math,,,lmao

  • @canocano5480
    @canocano5480 3 года назад

    Lmao!!

  • @nomorebushz
    @nomorebushz 4 года назад +3

    Walk out closet!

  • @vladtepes7539
    @vladtepes7539 4 года назад

    about homosexuals too.

  • @DonJuanMarco1994
    @DonJuanMarco1994 2 года назад

    😆😆😆😆😆😆

  • @thelonewanderer4084
    @thelonewanderer4084 5 лет назад +2

    Omg

  • @Magnabee97
    @Magnabee97 Год назад

    Too gay for the navy? Not anymore.

  • @stranraerwal
    @stranraerwal 5 лет назад +1

    Bill tells those (partly very old and rather "fucked up") gay jokes with a certain relish...too much relish, maybe?

  • @josecampechano6136
    @josecampechano6136 3 года назад

    Neal :20

  • @specialized29er86
    @specialized29er86 Год назад

    When was the first gay person and is that why God murdered all humans on Earth.

  • @bigbaba1111
    @bigbaba1111 Год назад +1

    This guy is hilarious.:)

  • @anthonydin4401
    @anthonydin4401 3 года назад

    Only God can Judge! Not Bill Maher

  • @travisjones640
    @travisjones640 5 лет назад +1

    Can’t make these jokes in woke 2019

  • @natanfernandopereiramartin3491
    @natanfernandopereiramartin3491 3 года назад

    I don't support the democratic party. !!!