Bill Maher - I'm Swiss (2005)
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- Опубликовано: 2 мар 2013
- Bill Maher's seventh HBO Special, taped at the Arlene Schnitzer Hall in Portland, 2005. Bill is in great form here and it's definitely one of my favourite specials of his.
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"Why can't we be one of those countries with a president that has a permanent tan and expensive suits and a Versace mistress?"
Be careful what you wish for, Bill . . .
Ha ha and he never dreamed we'd have a reality show star for President in 2016......
He left out one qualifier. What he meant was a "president that has a permanent tan and expensive suits and a Versace mistress", who has a working brain.
xFirebird925x
Yep, a brain that's churning up new ways to take from all of us and give to the rich and himself.
ballz4kidz I was thinking the same...
Ohhh fuck
Remona Stormborn he's had a reality show, but he's just a businessman. Geez people. You have to have _some_ intelligence to build and run a large business enterprise like that. He didn't inherit that much from his father, he built that empire through being a shrewd businessman. So let's see if it pans out. Sure he says crazy stuff, but I'd like to see what he *does*.
Man oh man. This is from 2005. Watching it in 2018 has me going "Oh Bill, if you only knew ..."
Hahaha
2022: But wait! There's more!
I said that when he was pining for a sun tanned president
I see your 2018 and raise you 2022
I'm watching in 2023 thinking --- Bill needs to go back and watch this. He seems to be forgetting as of late.
This is Bill’s best standup I’ve ever seen
"They hate us for our freedom" (In parrot voice) Gets me every time.
Bill, Carlin would be proud of you. Great show!
Carlin was alive during that show...
Carlin died in 2008.... this was in 2005
He was there.
It's 2023. Omg. Bill you are right on target. You make me laugh 😃 and you are great. Love you.
I'm glad George Carlin was still around to see this.
The difference is Carlin ripped on both parties
"It's like crazy-gluing your nostrils shut to quit cocaine"
That reminds me of a joke from the season two finale of GRIMM,
"How do you help a guy quit drinking?"
"Tear his arms off."
"Everyone talked about an Earnhardt curse as if these gentlemen were in the frozen yogurt industry and kept bursting into flames." Hahah gotta love Bill Maher.
America. He's not attacking you. He's helping you.
zenzombie72 he is helping American to be great again at 11:11 he said he wanted Trump lol.
At the dawn of 2023 this is even better ;)
I love Bill so much 😢 Seeing him from almost 20 years ago makes me feel so nostalgic.
And along came Trump.
Same. A legend
Yeah he sucks now honestly
LMAO I lost it when he started translating the rap songs.
Bill Maher said "religion is arrogance disguised as humility" and this is so true. I've been called arrogant because i'm an atheist. Even though it's the other side that literally claims to talk to the creator of the universe, know his plan and being buddies with his son.
Perhaps you were called arrogant because you were being arrogant. I'm an atheist/agnostic, too, but I take a far more accommodationist approach to religion (which puts me at odds with many other atheists). I know plenty of religious people who are genuinely good people. They don't act sanctimonious and they never try to push their faith. They only try to live their lives according to their faith and, so long as you focus on the forgiveness and the helping of the needy, I see it as a net positive for society. If a soup kitchen is helping to feed those who can't feed themselves, what does it matter if it has a religious affiliation? The important thing is that they help people.. I don't think you have to be religious to do this, but so much of our charitable infrastructure is church based. Even if we atheists/agnostics see some of the specifics of the faith as silly, it's hard to argue with the positive results.
ballz4kidz b
ballz4kidz wow...one of the best comments I've seen in a while dear 👏👏👏👏👏
As Hitchen said religion as nothing to do with morales
The fairest , most ethical country on earth (Denmark, Sweden, etc)
Are the one with the highest nombre of atheist
You don.t need religion to have great people
You always need religion to get great people to do the most horrific things
what did he say to make you think he's arrogant? nothing he said was wrong.
bill maher is today's mark twain. he has more common sense than most and has fun with it
randy rysdale he really picked up where George Carlin left off.
@@whatshername3158
I thought it was Injun Jim...
@Israël Âme
Mark Twain didn't live today. Looking at his philosophy, if he were around today, he wouldn't be racist.
If you had ever read/studied Mark Twain, you would never have made that comparison.
Dude is nothing like Mark Twain. He mainstreamed RW insanity. He's an out of touch millionaire now yelling at teenagers. He failed in the long run.
"They think you're hearing 'I'm a better person' but what I'm hearing is, you have a neurological disorder!"
My favourite comedian and speaker
Bill you are one funny dude. Brilliant.
Funny? I could only make it through 10 minutes, and didn't laugh once. Does any of it get funny after that?
@@jmsfabrication7821 I am watching this April 4, 23 it is not funny, rather imbecilic. Amazing all this American sitting and laughing and cheering .maybe I am to old !
Bill Maher, you are AWESOME!!!
2005 he never dreamed how bad it would get
:/
Our country is way better now then in 05
@@ryancalhoun2910 you that willfully ignorant Or just being disingenuous?
@@davemartino5997 Explain how what I said isn't true please
@@ryancalhoun2910 Start with inflation and no longer energy independent , all brought on by the Biden administration. Let’s not forget we’re on the verge of WW3 the war democrats said Trump was going to start . lol
This is probably his best special. Every line is a punch line.
Yeah!
Really?
Is it funny?
Should I spend 1 hour here
Asking honest review
I think you are saying sarcastically
Bcz every line can't be punchline
@@entertainment326 I made my point maladroitly, and I apologize. What I meant to say was that I found this special very funny.
You know what i like about Bill? He speaks so well. He is soo well spoken. Him and Chris Rock should run for 2020.
He legit predicted Trump XD lol Perma Tan and Versacci Wife
A fake tan isn't a tan. It's a coat of paint.
@UCRX1x3hFf9_2JONcJjWGEVg Yup, it's called a car wax when it's in my Chevy, a make-up when it's on my wife and a wax-job of presidential proportions when I jerk off with hands still orange from devouring a bag of Cheetos.
#TRUMP2024
I would vote for Maher in 2020..
How enjoyable it is when a smart man guides your mind so masterfully !!!
excellent show Bill!! I agree with so much with what you say...and I am a Christian...I love ya ... excellent points!!!
Hello
How are you doing today?
One of the best stand up on the whole Internet 👏🐐
Just discovered this guy, I like him already!
Bill Maher is the Greatest !!! He must live FOREVER.
All these years later, still the best comedy show ever! “ I love people of girth “🤣
Disagree. This is dogshit. The way he laughs thru his set is worse than that one dipshit SNL alumnus always looking at the camera
He's great on his TV show tho.
Bill Maher for President
That rap translation was brilliantly funny.. Everything in between also XD
Best part was when he translate Rap music into White, I never LOLed so hard.
i am a fan of Bill Maher. He is one of the smartest comics of our time. Speaking of OUR time... In 2005 even Bill Maher had "Gay" jokes in his act. We have come along way folks!!
pure genius
bill maher is a gem
At every show, I love when the camera pans out over the audience because it reminds me that there are lots of people from all races and walks of life that believe in TRUTH in POLITICAL humor. It gives me hope.
Found the Bush & Trump supporter trying to avoid responsibility for their chaos & failures.
Bill has a certain power of enabling people through witty banter. He proves intellectually that people need honesty and do not need politics and religion. He has the respect of intelligent people. He is the voice of humanity!
This is so authentic it should be made in a panflet and distributed to all the American peopel
Hahaha ! Maybe it's only me but... I love how the guy in first row in greent t-shirt was looking at Bill like he hate every word that came out from his mouth and yet at the end under social pressure I assume he gave him stand ovation :D
It is almost 2018.... weird watching this 13 years later. This is 2005... all he's talking about is W Bush... now it's Trump. Bill was 49 here... now almost 62...... but I still find this funny all these years later
Gay marriage is now legal.....
Allison, and only worse with trump and his greedy cronies, that are trying to roll us back to the 1600's.
Bush was way worse than Trump though
@@ryancalhoun2910 Nonsense.
He was impeached twice and thinks he can steal an election.
Can’t wait to see him jailed.
@@MikeCarrick I agree that he is an evil man, but Bush launched an illegal war which cost the lives of millions of people, including completely innocent Iraqi civilians. He also ignored intelligence that said Bin Laden wanted to attack the U.S. using airplanes. Trump was horrible, but nothing he did compares to either of those two things.
LOL Bill Maher is the man! :D
Don’t you just yearn for days that Bill so eloquently describes here. I know I do. 😂
Omg that family in the front row sitting there not clapping with sour faces for the whole second half. :O
10 years ago, Bill ask "Why do we always have to be the stupid country?!"
Now, I'd like to know, why does the stupidity become more and more as the years go by?? :-/
Watching this again in 2020
15 years later still relevant
I love you Bill Maher. You are the best.
So unbelievably witty and articulate! Much like Carlin. Love Bill Maher's perspective. We need more such outspoken and rational people sharing their point of view in such an entertaining fashion. Hits home each time!
Bill Maher is NOTHING like George Carlin. Bill is way too STUPID
And ironically he predicted we will have a tan president with expensive suits and a model wife...
Ya ,
moral of the story, be careful what you wish for !
Well looks like our first Woman president is going to be a transgender... 😂
@@Jaialai828 😂😂😂 that's right! Biden is president 😂😂😂😂 you just never know the limits of craziness
@@lilamayoral1031 You guys just need to stop. Trump made America the laughing stock of the world. The only thing he managed to do was give the super rich a tax break. That's it! You guys keep harping about Trump's economy. Anyway that thinks he handled the economy correctly has no idea how economics work. Every time the economy would have a minor correction he would print a trillion dollars and dump it on the economy. He is the reason inflation is out of control. But of course you blame Biden. Yeah let's see who knows more about how our economy works a so called businessman that has failed at business again and again and again. Someone who couldn't even make money with casinos! He bankrupted casinos!! Or a lifelong bureaucrat who has spent 50 years in government? I am so sick of uneducated fools who get their news from opinion journalists thinking they know what's going on. Go make your local politics a popularity contest and leave the federal government to the adults. Maybe we can get an actual Republican elected in 2024. A true fiscally responsible conservative. Not a lifelong Democrat who switches to the GOP when the Democrats made fun of him. So tired of fools that go to his rallies and finally feel like the cool kids trying to tell lifelong New Yorkers that they know more about Trump than they do. Let me ask you this, if you ran for any office how would you feel if 92% of your hometown voted against you? Cause that happened to Trump. 92% of the people that know Trump the best voted against him. But you know how Trump really is, huh? He is a conman, a grifter, someone who begged for your donations for his legal bills while taking a private jet to his court date. Someone who didn't ask for a single donation to help the hundreds of his followers that got into deep legal trouble on January 6th. Nope they are on their own but a so called billionaire needs you to foot his bill. Brainwashed fools!!
Actually Trump was always a wannabe with a fake spray tan and cheap ill fitting suits, and trophy wives. A pretender who appeals to other wannabes and people who can't distinguish truth from reality because all their lives they allow themselves to be brainwashed by televangelist cons.
This was a great fucking set, man. So many people get so hung up on Bill Maher being a “Liberal”, I think it gets sort of pushed aside what an amazing comedian he is.
This is fucking hilarious even all these years later, especially watching it stoned lol
Bill is a legend. I like his style of comedy. A mixture of extremely intelligent and silly comedy, its like Chris Rock and Jamie Foxx in one.
you can see he was feeling good during this special .. he's having a good time up there lol
Interesting to watch 18 years later.
Actually weed being illegal is a problem in the sense if you are caught with it, your life is fucked when you try to apply for jobs afterwards. Even though it is not as bad as alcohol or cigarettes.
It depends. I've been shoving it up my ass and now I can't sit down long enough to have a desk job.
So your next employer gets your police record when you apply? o.O
It's worse than that, comrade. Even today in 2015, if you have a prescription for medical marijuana, or if it was legalized in your state for recreational use, you can still lose your job if you fail a piss test. Why? Because it is still a FEDERAL offence.
If every state in the union were to legalize marijuana, it's useless if the feds still keep it illegal. So until Congress decides to join the 21st century, or if the American people gets to vote on it in a national election, pot smokers are fucked...unless you're a rich enough to where you don't need a job...
Sonortubelug We pot smokers have been getting these stupid anti-marijuana laws shoved up our asses since the 1930's. I recently had to stop maryjane kissing just to keep my job because having money and health care is more important than getting a buzz, but I still feel like I'm getting sodomized!
not against weed users or anything but in order to prevent anything of what you said, you should just simply not use or hold any weed.
This seems like an artifact of a much more innocent time.
...and yet, it's still so - perhaps even more so than when it was recorded! - relevant.
i can worship to this guy.
Bill was really inspired that night. Well done!
Bill had no idea what he would be up against in the later years.
Micheal Moore knew it ahead of time.
holly shit, i didnt realise that this came out in 05, the jokes still apply today.
I can't think of a better title to a stand up special that speaks volumes about the comedian.
Bill's best.
I’m watching this 3 weeks before 2023. Wow ! Nothing has improved since 2005 !😢
Bill I’d a democrat/establishment shillbag
You are funny and I love your honesty Bill! Thank you!
I wish i could press like more than once!!
"You want fries with that?"
"Well, I'm a Christian!...."
+A Skeptical Human so yes, how do you think I got so fat?
A Skeptical Human I don't get it
@Filming In Portland
Me neither, I'm ashamed to admit. Clearly quite a few people thought it was funny, but I just don't see the joke. Maybe I'm just dumb.
ballz4kidz the joke is that they feel that they have the moral high ground no matter what they are saying because they are Christion. so they feel the need to make it clear that they are so great every time they answer a question. you would ask if they believe global warming and they would say "well, i'm a Christian and we believe that the end times are coming so what does it matter anyway" i know that doesn't apply to every Christian but if you have talked to that type you will know what i mean
Jayson
Well explained.
Also appreciate that you don't assume ALL of us are of that type.
I also distinguish Religion(s) from Faith & (attempted) adherence to the life and teachings of Jesus, etc.
You?
To be fair, the president does have a permanent tan now
Careful what you wish for, Bill.
No matter what political side you're on ya gotta respect Bill Maher as a comedian 😊
You make so much sense!!!! And give me laugh therapy....
OMG, that had me rolling. Galleria at Halliburton square.
It's 2023 and America is still standing.
He's so awesome!
Bill Maher for President.
I'm watching it in 2019. Mayer is great!
Love this guy!!
It’s morning in America..... but I’m not a morning person LOL
When he made the joke about being high eating macaroni out of a big green bowl I was like omg I just ate macaroni high out of a bit green bowl about and hour ago!! XD
2023. This has aged well.
“Go ahead Bob, we know you have your twins in the school play….What if I have twins in the jacuzzi?!”
Bill Maher is simply fucking brilliant
He is awesome!
WHY IS THIS STTTIIIIIIIIIIIIIILLLLL RELEVANT!?!?!?!
Not as much of a fan of Bill nowadays but there’s no denying back then he was one of the few voices of reason before the social media age.
"Flying planes into a building was a faith-based initiative
+A Skeptical Human You forgot the second quote mark.
+A Skeptical Human that is what happens when you are ignorant and stupid
A Skeptical Human
True
Yes, Faith that people were dumb enough to believe that this was a terrorist act...lol
"FDR would've gotten up. He couldn't even _get_ up!"
Kyle Stubbs One of my favorite parts, it resonates so much.
@@alcide1537 Yeah, but the interesting part is, How would they know during the Revolutionary War that the British fleet had left Portsmouth? That information could only have come by boat, ie. it would arrive at the same time as the British army....no time to prepare.
Fucking lol
So much yes to this.
World class stand up
I would love to see a new stand up. Huge fan!!
What's up with people in the front row not laughing and applauding? the man is funny AF.
It IS the food. It really is.
A whole lot of it is
"Not enough people are pissed off". Oh be careful what you ask for.
Funny guy and a great show. I hope people remember this is a comedian and what he says in a show is satire.
He is a very smart guy though
Holly shit! This guy deserves a NATIONAL HOLLYDAY! Oh and a bronze statue in every amurrican town...
And don't forget his bronze statue in the Vatican the statue of saint Bill Maher..... Any votes?
best comdian ever i love him
Always been a head of the times.. and when he passes that's when they decide to hear him ... Come on people
We’re all prettier stupid
Oh the irony at 11:05 - Now in 2020 we do have a permanently tanned president in a suit with a trophy model wife.
"Little Ashley is selling her coochie for Gucci" Classic! LOL
I miss this Bill Maher
thanks for the upload :)
Bill is the most outstanding comedian of complimentary clapping, if he actually is considered a comedian