Say it louder for those in the back! People who think making one's needs a priority is 'selfish' need to reevaluate their behavior. When you make your own needs a priority, you'll be more genuinely generous!
I realised that my use of covert contracts is so ingrained, It stops me from receiving. Just in case they're going to turn around and expect something from me. Instead of upholding a boundary if a request crosses it, I avoid the potential for that to even happen. It has unfortunately led to a pretty friendless existence. It seems that at some point in my youth, after a variety of experiences involving bullying and manipulation, I assumed this is the norm, "People are only nice to me if they want something from me" which then evolved into "Never ask for help" because that once again opens up the door of reciprocity. Hope to unlearn all this one day, I just wish I could just be effortlessly authentic and honest, but after 30ish years, I don't even know who that authentic self is, and I fear that if I let it out, I could lose everything I have left.
I have been called needy in the past. I guess that's why I became shameful around expressing my needs later on, which only made things worse. Thanks Dr Glover for the work you do to help out the men who value this kind of information
One way to break away from covert contracts is whenever you think you have done something nice for someone and they in turn say thank you, you say. “I know you would do the same for me”. That technique comes from the book “Influence” by Robert Cialdini.
I truly needed this today. Thank you so much and I can't wait to see what part 2 is. This just solidifies so much what I was just going thru with a therapist
I’ve tried the covert act, didn’t work out so well. Why the hell is giving so easy and at this time three’s no reciprocal return, at this time I’m really down, thoughts I never imagined where possible for this life, big problems
Sounds like God dapped you up, with respect to O'Reilly. That guy is a political Dunning-Kruger. Didn't know that was part of your origin story. Thank you so much for starting your RUclips channel.
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How are you making your own needs a priority? Join Integration Nation Today for more Live Lessons with Dr. Glover! integrationnation.net/
Say it louder for those in the back! People who think making one's needs a priority is 'selfish' need to reevaluate their behavior. When you make your own needs a priority, you'll be more genuinely generous!
Or you mainly deal with Avoidants who shame needs.
The Truth will set us Free.
I realised that my use of covert contracts is so ingrained, It stops me from receiving. Just in case they're going to turn around and expect something from me. Instead of upholding a boundary if a request crosses it, I avoid the potential for that to even happen. It has unfortunately led to a pretty friendless existence.
It seems that at some point in my youth, after a variety of experiences involving bullying and manipulation, I assumed this is the norm, "People are only nice to me if they want something from me"
which then evolved into "Never ask for help" because that once again opens up the door of reciprocity.
Hope to unlearn all this one day, I just wish I could just be effortlessly authentic and honest, but after 30ish years, I don't even know who that authentic self is, and I fear that if I let it out, I could lose everything I have left.
I have been called needy in the past. I guess that's why I became shameful around expressing my needs later on, which only made things worse. Thanks Dr Glover for the work you do to help out the men who value this kind of information
Thanks! We appreciate the feedback.
One way to break away from covert contracts is whenever you think you have done something nice for someone and they in turn say thank you, you say. “I know you would do the same for me”. That technique comes from the book “Influence” by Robert Cialdini.
"Hiding our needs makes us needy"
Thanks for sharing this. It's important.
I truly needed this today. Thank you so much and I can't wait to see what part 2 is. This just solidifies so much what I was just going thru with a therapist
Thanks brother!
I’ve tried the covert act, didn’t work out so well. Why the hell is giving so easy and at this time three’s no reciprocal return, at this time I’m really down, thoughts I never imagined where possible for this life, big problems
Sorry to hear you're going though this. Sounds like you could use some support.
That was really good.
Ive gotten to the point where I can't accept a thank you at work. Asking someone to do something for me 🤔.
"You're welcome" is a good response.
If you make this channel name your own name, more people will find you Dr Glover
Thanks for the feedback. Integration Nation is a place were everyone can interact with Dr. Glover and it is his personal project.
Word will spread like wild fire soon and it will gain momentum. I am a women in my early 60’s and I approve of Dr Glovers message
Sounds like God dapped you up, with respect to O'Reilly. That guy is a political Dunning-Kruger. Didn't know that was part of your origin story. Thank you so much for starting your RUclips channel.